A Heart's a Heavy Burden

On Saturday morning, Kyle stood by the bus stop, waiting for a vehicle that probably would not arrive for at least another half hour. He could have stayed in bed longer, but the city dweller was eager to be as far away from this stupid town as possible. It was clear that no one here wanted him around, not even his girlfriend. The villagers already decided they did not like him based on whatever version of events Violet told them.

But what bothered Kyle most was how happy Violet appeared, living here in the middle of nowhere. She used to enjoy the vibrant lifestyle of the largest city in the country. Everything about his girlfriend had changed - she wore her hair with its natural waves and dyed her favorite color, she was now a farmer of all things, she had friends of her own that had hardly anything in common with him, and somehow, she was happier than he had ever seen her.

It pissed him off to see Violet with that guy and his stupid, early aughts emo bangs. It irked Kyle to think that the woman who rejected his advances for so long while they were dating practically jumped into bed with another guy. What was so special about Sebastian that Violet was willing to put out for him? Was being a basement troll just an aphrodisiac for her? For fuck's sake, they were practically eye fucking at the bar last night just to mess with him!

Kyle also resented the fact that he came all the way down here to bring her home and all he got for it was a concussion and spite. And a huge settlement check, but that was just the universe's payment for squatting in an abandoned house for a few days. There was no way this "relationship" was going to last, Kyle decided. This new guy was just that: new. He and Violet had history, years of shared experiences and inside jokes with which Sebastian could never compete.

Eventually, Violet would get bored of this quiet little town, come to her senses, and return home to NuNu City. Right? Surely, Violet would not want to stay here in Pelican Town long-term. But the image of her smiling, laughing at the bar last night among all her new friends planted a seed of doubt in his mind. Why was he never good enough, even for her?

A crunch in the gravel drew Kyle's attention toward the main path that led to and from town. But even in all those layers, he did not believe his eyes at first. "Violet?" The brunet wondered if he was imagining things the instant the name left his lips, it felt wrong.

But she flashed a quick, awkward smile and occupied the empty space beside him. "Morning," Violet addressed him quietly, her breath forming a tiny cloud of condensation as she spoke.

The man regarded his girlfriend skeptically. "I didn't expect you to show up here," Kyle muttered, making no effort to mask his hostility. "I thought your asshole brother wanted you to stay far away from me."

Violet's eyes darted in his direction. "Zach is an asshole, but he's my brother. And he got me out of the mess with you and wants me to avoid another one."

Kyle scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets to warm his hands. "Oh, so is that all I am to you right now, a mess you want to forget about?"

The purple-haired girl beside him bit her lip in the way she did when she was contemplating her words. Kyle used to be so annoyed that she was so careful and did not just say what was on her mind.

"No, I don't want to forget you, Kyle," Violet confessed, catching him by surprise. He opened his mouth to respond, but she did not give him the chance. "I think I learned a lot from our relationship, and all those things were important." She gazed up at him directly, something she rarely did in the past, even when they were dating.

"We've had fights about what went wrong between us before, but…" Violet sighed heavily, averting her focus toward the steel toe of her boots. "I owe you an apology for not ending things sooner."

A lump formed in Kyle's throat. "What are you talking about? I wasn't cheating on you for that long." He only tried to make her jealous, after all. To prove to himself that she cared. Why did Violet not see that?

A pebble came loose from the gravel path as Violet pried it loose with her shoe. "I didn't love you, Kyle. I should have never said 'yes' when you asked me to be your girlfriend. It wasn't fair to you."

Kyle clenched his fists in the warm folds of his coat pockets. "So, after all this time you're finally admitting it was your fault?"

"No, you dumbass!" Violet shouted angrily. Kyle was briefly stunned. The only time he could remember her raising her voice at him was the night she kicked him out of their apartment. "What I'm saying is that while you were a complete jackass and chose to cheat on me rather than just ending things like a decent human being, I should have broken up with you when I realized I couldn't give you what you wanted!"

The brunet sneered in disbelief. "Oh?" What did Violet even know? She was a total stranger now. "And what was it that I wanted?" he spat.

Violet frowned. "You wanted someone to not see your dad when they looked at you. Someone who could help you make a name for yourself," she asserted with erroneous confidence. "I don't have that kind of ambition, Kyle. I can't help you."

The lump in his throat caught his words and Kyle's stomach knotted. "Y-you really don't get it, do you?" He willed the tears to stay in his eyes. "I don't give a flying fuck about my dad or 'making a name for myself!' I just wanted to live my life with you. But you wouldn't even let me touch you without pulling back in disgust."

His girlfriend shuddered from the effort of holding back her rage. It drove him over the edge. "Just say it, Lettie!" he demanded. "Quit holding out on me and just say whatever the fuck's on your mind!"

Kyle finally got what he wanted. "Fine!" Violet screamed. "I convinced myself that I could learn to love you after living together and being a couple for a while. That I would want to be more physical with you, but you pissed me off so damn much that it never happened!"

"Oh, so it's my fault again?" he complained bitterly.

Violet growled in frustration. "You took advantage of me! You lived in my apartment for over a year without paying rent, I had to work so much overtime just to cover our living expenses and you just sat on your ass and played video games all day!" Her bright blue mitten gestured toward him aggressively. "I didn't want to have sex with you because I didn't want to even risk the chance of you trapping me with a kid and being stuck with a lazy jerk for the rest of my life!"

Her words stabbed at him. He sunk down into a squat and held his head as he screamed. "That's not what happened!" Kyle roared. "I applied to so many jobs and all anyone would see when I turned in my damn resume was my fucking dad's last name! Even when I lied about being related or changed my name, people eventually found out. How can I hide that when I was making public appearances with him all the time?"

"So what?" Violet snapped, scrutinizing him from above, exasperated by things she could not begin to understand. "If you want to make a name for yourself, you need to start somewhere!"

Kyle's head tilted back to glare up at her. "I only ever got jobs because of my dad, Lettie," he confessed. "Even without going to college, even when I tried to be so mediocre that people wouldn't expect anything from me, people assumed the damn mayor of NuNu City would owe them a favor if they took me on!" his voice failed him for a moment.

Kyle shook his head, pulling the beanie down over his eyes. "It just broke me, Violet. I couldn't escape from his shadow or people's assumptions about me or my life. I just wanted to be an anonymous, normal guy. I hated people always wanting something from me, or thinking that if they were around me, they would get some sway with my dad. No one wanted me."

For a time, the world was still and neither of them uttered a single word. In the darkness under his hat, Kyle felt like he was suspended in time, anxiously awaiting Violet to say something. Finally, the gravel beneath her boots ground together as she settled beside him.

"So, you just stopped trying altogether?" Kyle could not tell if Violet's voice was sympathetic or frustrated with him, but she was trying all the same.

"I didn't know what else to do," the man felt the tears leak from his eyes, though they were immediately absorbed by the knit fabric of his hat. "I just fell into a pit for a while and couldn't figure out how to get myself out," Kyle acknowledged reluctantly. "I honestly believed that if I just ignored my problems for long enough, they'd go away."

Another deliberate pause. "Why didn't you tell me what was wrong?" Violet questioned, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you?" Kyle countered, unwilling to remove the hem of his hat from the top half of his face. He wanted to speak his truth from the safety of the blissfully ignorant darkness. "I was ashamed of myself, Lettie," the man explained. "You had your shit together, went to college and got a good job, while I sat at home feeling sorry for myself. And whenever you rejected my advances, it felt like you were revolted by the 'real' me!"

"It made me feel like the 'me' only you saw was worthless and unlovable, or that you were really just using me like everyone else and I wasn't smart enough or too willfully ignorant to see through it," Kyle felt the words spilling out of his mouth now that his vision was completely black. He could not see Violet's reaction. "But then every once and a while some girl would come along, and act interested… I thought if I saw someone else for a while, I could get my confidence back up, and you'd be jealous enough to prove my fears wrong, to fight for us."

A silence hung between them, and Kyle waited, holding his breath. "Well, that was a stupid plan. You think I'd want to be with someone who cheated after my mom's infidelity ruined my parents' relationship?" Violet replied, her voice dripping with acid. She was scolding him.

However, her voice softened when she spoke again. "It wasn't all just you, though," Violet conceded softly. "I shouldn't have tried to make you stay when I didn't feel the same way about you. It was… selfish of me."

Intrigued, Kyle blotted his eyes and pulled the hat up to see. Violet sat beside him on the cold earth, leaning her body back on her arms. She looked so tired, but not the same way she did when she got home from work every weeknight when they were together. "And I was miserable, too, you know. I couldn't do it all, I couldn't be there for you emotionally at the drop of a hat because I was too busy." Violet informed him, her tone brimming with frustration.

"Working that much while in school full-time was sucking the life out of me, but I couldn't take a break because otherwise we wouldn't have had anywhere to go but move back in with our parents." She exhaled heavily and an enormous puff of steam rose into the sky.

"When I came home and our place was a mess, it just made things a thousand times worse, like you didn't care about how much I was killing myself trying to make sure we never had to go back and live with our families," Violet revealed, hot tears in her eyes. "So, when I finally had proof you cheated, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Even if I was lonely, I had to draw the line somewhere…"

It was then that Kyle grasped that he and Violet had never discussed serious topics before. It made him feel heavy, but now that he considered it, this might be the most honest conversation they ever had. Why had their relationship taken such a massive detour, off-roading in the wilderness without a map for so long?

"I guess you meant it when you said you were done with me the other night, then?" Kyle clarified, his body shrinking as he released the bad energy pent up in his body from their argument. As proud as he was, Kyle could admit the truth when it was spelled out so plainly for him.

Violet bobbed her head in confirmation. "I think we both used each other in ways we didn't understand at the time," she acknowledged introspectively. "We were young and dumb, and so preoccupied with our own problems that we didn't really talk or think about how our actions were hurting one another." Violet's expression twisted with a kaleidoscope of mixed emotions. "And since we didn't have any other outlets, the pressure slowly built up until all that pent up emotion finally exploded at the end."

The woman beside him shook her head slowly. "I'm still mad at you, Kyle," Violet asserted honestly. "But looking back, I realize that it wasn't just you. We both should have been better, and honest with one another from the beginning…" She sat up, resting her elbows on her knees, her dark blue eyes focused on the grey clouds drifting slowly over their heads. Violet seemed oddly at peace. He wondered if he would ever feel that way, too.

"I don't think we can ever go back from all that and be a couple again," the woman indicated. There was no doubt in her voice. "I really love Sebastian and I want to see where our relationship goes." Kyle did not think that Violet's smile could make his heart sink so abruptly, but it had. It solidified in his mind that he had lost her for good this time.

Violet shifted her body toward him, "But maybe someday… Once we're older and wiser, and not so caught up in our own melodrama, we can be friends again."

Kyle stared at her for a moment of disbelief. How did they get to this point when they were screaming at each other just minutes ago? Could he forgive Violet for all the shit he had gone through over the years? Was there really anything to forgive? She put up with so much bullshit on his account, maybe they canceled each other out in the end.

But that was no real way to keep score in a relationship, was it? The fact that Violet was willing to extend an olive branch in this situation made Kyle feel guilty for the rage and resentment he clung to for so long. It confused him how a heated argument was giving them the space they needed to air out old, lingering feelings that had cultivated an ugly end to their romance. And yet, it was too late to go back to when they should have had this conversation.

His lips pulled back toward his eyes deliberately. "Deal." Kyle offered her his hand and Violet took it to shake. The snow that stuck to her mittens made the gesture cold and wet to his bare hand, but an enormous weight inside him was slowly evaporating. It was a weird, but welcome sensation. "But let's stand up before my ass gets frostbite," he proclaimed teasingly.

Violet laughed and stood up to give him a hand. Kyle could not help but see the irony that she had always done her best to lift him up, and now that they were no longer together, he finally accepted it. Where would they be now if he sought out help from the beginning? If he had not leaned on her so hard? If he had not gone out and fucked other women to get her attention?

But he could not dwell on those kinds of theories. It did not matter.

"So where will you go from here?" she asked, rocking back and forth on her heels. It was one of Violet's cute habits that originally drew him to her that he missed. He supposed he knew a lot about her little quirks from simply being classmates - then friends - for so long. But Kyle supposed it was not enough. Violet was not his anymore and he barely knew the woman she had become, even if she still had a few of the same old mannerisms.

He had come to Pelican Town expecting the same woman who kicked him out years ago and found someone else. Violet was stronger and more confident in herself. She understood herself and what she wanted, and she was even more beautiful for it. He missed out.

Kyle shrugged sheepishly. "I'm not sure yet. I'm still figuring things out, to be honest."

Violet nodded pensively, rotating her body toward him. "I don't know how much money you got from Joja, but if it's enough, why not travel for a while?" the woman suggested. "You always talked about how you wanted to see the world, and most people won't recognize you outside of Ferngill Republic."

A grin crept across Kyle's face as he ruminated on it. Maybe getting out of the country was exactly what he needed. "You know, that's not a bad idea…" They were interrupted as the bus' engine roared in the distance, complaining vocally about the steep incline of the mountain roads.

The two stood side-by-side until the bus grinded to a halt at their stop. Violet helped Kyle load his bags onto his shoulders and make sure things were secure enough to withstand the journey home. It felt oddly familiar to be together, but now he knew that things were really over between them. "I guess I'll see you when I see you?" Kyle inquired vaguely.

His ex-girlfriend chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so." Violet gave his hand a final squeeze before taking a step back from the vehicle.

"Hey, Violet…" She regarded him expectantly, and Kyle stood before her in reflective silence for a moment. "Thanks for trying with me," the brunet articulated, as both an apology and out of appreciation. Kyle closed the gap between them and leaned over to kiss her forehead gently.

Violet did not say a word, but her hand brushed where he had kissed her as if to verify what had just happened. "Thanks to you, too. Safe travels." Kyle wondered if she meant it.

Wordlessly, the man stepped onto the bus and took his seat. As the vehicle set in motion, Kyle noticed that Violet still stood on the side of the road, waving good-bye. He watched her until the bus entered the dark tunnel toward the nearest city, cutting her off from sight.

Samantha stood anxiously on her brother's front porch, her fingers fidgeting in the warmth of her gloves as she considered whether she should be bothering Shane at all. He probably had a lot to prepare for his wedding tomorrow and she was so far removed from his life at this point, he may not even want to spend time with her. She did not even get a chance to see him yesterday, Shane was not when Haley brought her by and she was too chicken to seek him out in town. Instead, Samantha spent the whole time with Jas and Aunt Marnie. Jas certainly did not complain about having someone new to show all her toys.

But today was the day before the wedding, and Samantha wanted to see her brother so badly. It had been twelve years, more than half her life they had been estranged. Samantha did not want that to continue the terrible trend. I can do this! she told herself encouragingly.

When she knocked on the door, however, no one answered. Is Shane not an early riser anymore? From what she recollected, her older brother used to get up before dawn for gridball practice. Though, after the accident, he tended to stay in bed all day. She did not see Shane much before he left to live with David and Lila and even less so after that. Samantha worried she may not know the man at all. Aunt Marnie warned her Shane had been through a lot since he left home, but that he was on the road to recovery and would be happy to see her.

Samantha, however, had her doubts. Her brother never came back to visit her after David and Lila died. For many years she felt abandoned by her older sibling, cast away just as the rest of the family had Shane. But once she moved out of her parents' home, Samantha found a way to contact Aunt Marnie and she had given her an alternative version of what happened.

Her aunt said that dad had always dreamed of being a gridball star and when he did not make it, he vowed that his son would be the one to rise to fame in his place. Shane had a lot of pressure on him and after the accident, dad's attitude toward his son soured almost overnight.

Samantha's own memories of that dark time in their family history validated that much at least. Then Shane went to live with David and Lila, but never came back after the horrible accident that killed them. Marnie filled in a few gaps in Samantha's knowledge, stating that Shane came to live with her to help raise Jas after disappearing for a while. Her aunt supposed Shane needed a little bit of distance from Jas after the crash because he felt so guilty, though Samantha did not quite understand why.

"He's healed from that a bit now," was all Aunt Marnie had disclosed. "And I think he would be happy to see you, dear."

Which brought Samantha to the present, anticlimactic moment of knocking on her brother's door and nothing to show for it. After standing on the porch mulling over what to do next, the dark-haired woman heard a voice coming from the nearby chicken coop and decided to check it out. The young woman could hear a faint clucking inside the wooden structure. Carefully, she pried open the door carefully, making sure not to let out any of the hens.

Beyond the door was a flock of blue chickens all swarming a man who stood at the center, his arms outstretched so that as many of the birds could roost on his arms as possible. One chicken, the only white hen, perched herself on his head.

"Easy girls, there's plenty for everyone!" the man hollered as he slowly bent over to retrieve the pail full of corn. He sprinkled it on the floor for the eager fowl, who descended on the kernels in a frenzy of feathers. Samantha lingered in the doorway, observing him. The instant he smiled, Samantha knew this man was her brother, Shane.

He was not a teenager anymore, that much was sure. His build was thicker than it used to be, and facial hair sprouted from places Shane used to have trouble growing it. His features had changed with age, but she immediately identified him. A swell of relief washed over Samantha, and she felt the muscles in her face begin to ache as she noticed she had been smiling.

Finally, he seemed to notice a draft in the coop and turned his head. He noticed her almost immediately. Shane studied her from where he stood, then finally gasped out a single word. "Sammy?"

Her heart swelled. "Shane!" Samantha rushed toward her brother and to her surprise he hoisted her up like he did when she was a kid and spun around. For a moment, she was that eight-year-old girl again, giggling at the thrill of weightlessness. The hens scrambled to get out of the way, leaving bright blue feathers in their wake as Shane finally lowered his arms to put his sister down.

She saw her identical dark eyes reflected in her brother's gaze. Shane pulled her into a hug and squeezed the air out of her. "I'm so sorry, Sammy." The woman could hear his gentle sobs in her ear. "I should have at least kept in touch with you, but by the time I was finally getting help, I assumed you wouldn't want to hear from me ever again."

Samantha could feel tears welling up in her own eyes as she stroked her brother's head. "I know, Shane. I should have reached out to you, too. I was just… scared." She rested her head on his shoulder, which was a couple of inches lower than her own. "I missed you so much!"

The reunited siblings squished each other for another minute before Shane finally let her loose. "When did you get so tall?"

"I've been this height for six years now," Samantha looked down at him, delighted in the fact she was now taller than her older brother. "Since when did you shrink?"

Shane poked his sister's side and she squirmed with a squeal. "My baby sister sure has a mouth on her now!" He still retained little, unimportant details about her, like where she was ticklish. It was comforting.

While her brother quickly finished his chores, Samantha decided to ask him about his life. Shane shared that he fought depression and alcoholism for a long time and as of earlier this year he sought real help to help him cope with his problems. "I don't think I would still be around if not for Emily…"

His words scared Samantha, but it also made her realize that she owed Emily so much without having met her yet. She was lucky her brother was still around. It gave her a second chance to spend time with Shane and get to know him as a person. "So," she interjected, leaning forward on the bale of hay. "Is this 'Emily' your fiancée?"

Shane beamed as he gathered his things to leave the coop. "Yeah, I can't wait for you to meet her. She's the most incredible person I've ever met."

Samantha hopped down and fell into step with her sibling. She was eager to know more about her brother and his life lately, but she was dying to meet the woman who would be her new sister-in-law. "Do I have to wait until tomorrow to meet the future Mrs. Shane or can we swing by now?"

Her brother made it clear that he was not allowed to see his fiancée until the wedding tomorrow morning. "And I've got some stuff to do before the game later. You can't really come to the bachelor party, sorry."

He clearly regretted having plans when they had just reunited, but Samantha did not blame her brother for that. Besides, she did not have classes again until Spring and her parents thought she was going on a vacation with a friend all season anyway. They had plenty of time to catch up over Winter.

That did not mean she had to miss out on the opportunity to fluster her brother, however. "Yeah, I guess I can't sneak in pretending to be the stripper at the bachelor party," Samantha shrugged. "That would just make it weird, even if your guests might enjoy it."

Shane went pale and sputtered a string of curses, asking her why his baby sister would even joke about that. The woman cackled at her brother's reaction. Yes, this man, who was more a stranger than a brother for all the years he was absent, was still her Shane. He had an identical reaction when she asked him where babies came from when she was five.

If Shane was going to be busy today, Samantha knew she would have to think of other things to occupy herself today. "Where does Emily live?" Samantha pestered her older sibling. "I'll introduce myself!" Before Shane could react, the younger woman remembered that she had Haley's number.

"Oh, wait. I never got around to texting Haley last night with all the stuff Jas wanted to do." She felt a bit bad about ghosting the blonde, but she could always apologize later. Luckily, Haley provided the address right away. "I'm going to meet my new sister now!" the black-haired woman threw her arms around Shane and gave him a tight squeeze before wandering toward town. "See ya, Shane!"

Emily sat on the sofa in the living room, staring at the stack of envelopes in her lap from today's mail. Nothing from mom and dad again. She had even sent them a letter back when she and Shane first started dating, knowing fully well that she intended to marry him, and requested more details on when they would be coming home. A reply never came for that letter, either.

The end of the year would mark the third anniversary of their parents' departure. Emily knew that a vacation to explore so many interesting countries and cultures would take a long time, but why had she not heard back from either of them since last Winter? Back then it sounded like they were wrapping things to return to Pelican Town. So why had they stopped their correspondence?

Emily agonized over the idea that they might be in danger. Their tiny village was relatively insulated from the rest of the world, but there was a war going on. Even private citizens could find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. But every time she touched something of theirs, Emily could faintly feel their auras. They were both bright and happy shades, so they could not possibly be in harm's way. But if they were not in any danger, had they forgotten all about their daughters?

Emily clutched the last letter their parents sent, reading over her mother's handwriting.

To Haley and Emily,

Hope you two are doing well! We've sent you your favorite gifts: Pink cake and sunflowers for Haley, gemstones and wool for Emily!

Love,

Mom and Dad

The sapphire-haired woman did not notice her sister enter the room until Haley sat on the couch beside her. Her younger sister held her hand and scooted close. "I'm sorry, Emily," she said sympathetically. "I know you really wanted mom and dad to be here tomorrow…"

Emily's eyebrows furrowed as her features fell into a deep frown. "Why haven't they answered my letters?"

Haley gave her older sister a knowing look. "I'm sure mom and dad went somewhere so far off the beaten path that they don't get mail where they are right now." Emily glanced at her sister, whose shining gold aura gave off a warm, comforting glow. Their parents always were the adventurous type. Haley's explanation made sense and made her feel better.

The younger woman leaned back into the plush cushions of the sofa. "Besides, you have me as your Maid of Honor, so I've got you covered!"

Emily embraced her little sister. "You're the best, Haley! I'll miss you when I move out."

"Ugh," Haley's expression warped at the reminder. "It's going to be weird living in this big house all by myself. The Mayoral Manor is such an old man cave, too. You're going to have to breathe some life into it!"

The elder sister grinned, excited by the idea of getting to decorate a house together with Shane. Since Lewis had skipped town, there was no reason why the mayor – and his wife – should not use the manor.

"Oh, I have big plans for decorating!" Emily informed her sibling. "New curtains for the windows, upholstery for the furniture, and bright paint on the walls! We're going to hang a lot of photos and art, too. I really think you're going to love it."

"Make sure to come visit me every so often," Haley reminded her, crossing her arms over her chest. "Just because you're married doesn't mean you can ignore me from now on!"

Emily smiled and flopped onto her sister to cuddle. "Oh, don't worry," she assured the photographer. "I won't neglect you, even with my new wifely duties."

Haley shriveled in disgust. "Ew."

The blonde tried to twist free, but Emily's grip was ironclad. The blue-haired woman nuzzled her little sister's face with her cheek. "I know that's your way of saying you love me!" Emily exclaimed before finally releasing her sibling from her embrace.

"Yeah, whatever, you weirdo." Haley brushed herself off as she rose to her feet to tidy her clothes. She turned to Emily. "I already dropped off the invites yesterday, but I've got to get a few more things ready for your party. We should be good to go for yoga and crafts before we go out clubbing tonight."

"What?" Emily's warm brown eyes lit up with excitement. She leapt up to her feet and tackled her sister in another hug. "Oh Haley, that sounds perfect! You're the best Maid of Honor ever!"