Chapter 17: Dinner

There weren't enough chairs.

Three chairs, four guests, and the table wasn't even built for five people to comfortably sit around to begin with; at least one person was going to end up with a table leg right smack where their legs were supposed to go. Still, there should technically be enough space.

He did have enough plates, glasses, and silverware. So he had that going for him too, which was nice.

Still not enough chairs, though.

Minato pulled the round table out from the wall, positioning it so that everyone could claim a spot. Then, with a knowing smile, he withdrew a scroll from one of his vest pockets.

"I knew you didn't have enough," he flicked the scroll open, "so I thought I'd go ahead and bring in some from my own kitchen."

There was a poof of white smoke that quickly dissipated to reveal two chairs. Axel—who had, by now, figured that the only option would be grabbing the chair from behind the register in the shop and the desk chair from his bedroom—was incredibly grateful.

"Thank you," he said.

With the chair issue settled, he could turn his attention to the next sticking point: actually cooking dinner for everyone. Since his guests had all arrived quite a bit earlier than he had been expecting, he hadn't even started preparing the food.

Well, mostly. The chicken was thawing in the sink and there was a jar in the cabinet filled with cabbage he had diced up, kneaded with salt, and left to ferment a few days ago. It didn't taste quite like the sauerkraut he was used to, but when he had tested it just this past morning, it was close enough.

"Since you're early," Axel said, moving past the genin to get various ingredients from his fridge, "I still need to make the food."

Minato, whose eagerness was likely the reason they had been early in the first place, looked a little sheepish. "Ah, well… can I help at all?"

The offer had to be considered carefully. It wasn't so much that Minato couldn't cook, but that he really shouldn't; he tended to overdose on spices. With a narrow look—debating for a moment longer—Axel judged that it was probably safe enough to have him peel and cut the potatoes. He directed the ninja to the sack in the pantry, and soon enough one of Minato's kunai was temporarily re-purposed as a kitchen knife to prepare the tubers at the table.

Noticing Axel's somewhat dubious look, Minato scooted a handful of freshly skinned and sliced potatoes to the side of the cutting board and smiled. "Don't worry, it's a new one. Hasn't stabbed anything but vegetables."

Axel decided it was best left at that. As he gathered and set out the rest of what he would need—eggs, flour, breadcrumbs, salt and pepper, and the lemons—he noticed that only one of the three genin was still paying them any attention. Obito had wandered to peek back into the store space they had walked past to get to the kitchen and ogling the various weapons hung on display. The girl, Rin, seemed torn between joining him and dragging him back to the table.

Kakashi was… glaring at him, Axel decided. It was hard to read the kid-ninja's expression when half of his face was behind a mask, but his eyes had a telling edge to them.

Nothing he could really do about that though, so Axel simply moved on.

"Can we help at all?" And there was Rin, having made her choice and dragged Obito over by his sleeve. She was barely tall enough to see over the countertop—standing on tiptoe to get a look at the ingredients.

Schnitzel wasn't hard to prepare and wouldn't take long, but any help is always appreciated. Axel pulled the bowl of thawed chicken from the sink and set them out on a baking sheet.

"Thanks. Here, you can—" He stopped short, a mostly empty gap in his mind where the word he needed would have been.

Rin, noticing his faltering language, shot her teacher a confused glance. But of course Minato decided it would be more amusing to watch his friend struggle for a moment, and simply continued slicing potatoes with a smile.

So Axel was left with one option: figure out a different way of saying the same verb: "…Hit the chicken."

With another glance at the ingredients on the counter, Rin quirked her head to the side. "Are you making torikatsu?" she asked, probably having added up the ingredients and compared them to a mental list of recipes.

Having had torikatsu during his stay in Japan, Axel did have to admit that it was similar to schnitzel. He shrugged and handed her the mallet to tenderize the meat. "Of a sort, yeah."

"Oh, I know how to make that!" Obito said, perking up. He took the tray of chicken and grinned at his teammate. "We can do this together, Rin!"

Since they couldn't easily reach the counter, the two of them set up at the table across from where Minato was finishing with the potatoes. Axel filled one of his larger pots with water and salt, and put it on the stove to start heating up.

The final potato was sliced and piled with the rest.

"Now what, Master Chef?" Minato asked, tone teasing.

As soon as he translated those last two words, Axel coughed a choked laugh. The cooking show didn't exist here and him randomly giggling would make no sense. It wasn't even that funny, and he didn't watch the show… but it caught him a little off guard.

Although it did give him an idea: perhaps he should fiddle with more of the ingredients he could find at the local stores, just to see if he could recreate more different foods from home.

To answer Minato's question, Axel chucked an onion at him. "Cut up small, please?"

Cooking was a breeze with so many eager helpers—though sometimes having so many in his not-large kitchen had them tripping over each other. Minato was beyond skillful with a knife, of course, Obito and Rin had made quick work of the chicken, and Kakashi had… gloomily stayed out of the way.

Really, between the two boys, it was Kakashi—not Obito—who acted more like the Uchihas from the actual anime: angsty, reserved, and glaring.

By now the mashed potatoes were coming along nicely, the onions and some of the sauerkraut had been mixed with butter and water to simmer, and Axel was minding the schnitzel as they fried. Minato and his new team where quietly sitting around the table, there being nothing else for them to help with.

"So…" Rin began, trying to open conversation, "You two are friends?"

"Best friends," Obito added. "How'd that happen?"

It was kind of funny, Axel thought to himself, how Minato looked so reluctant to answer that question. He decided to reply in the vaguest way possible: "Explosions."

That even got a raised eyebrow from the ever-stoic mini-Kakashi.

Minato raised a finger, about to protest, then thought about it some more. "That's… surprisingly accurate."

Checking the bottom of the schnitzels, Axel decided this first batch of three was done and moved them out to a plate. The next three were added to the pan, and crackled on the hot oil.

"You're a civilian."

He blinked at Kakashi in surprise—from the boy's persistent silence, Axel had kind of expected he wouldn't say anything all dinner. "Yes. I am."

Before Kakashi could get another sentence out, there was a patter of paws and the door to the forge was nosed open. Dach trotted in with a bark of greeting, and got all the way to his food dish—a certain plate decorated with shuriken—before he noticed the guests.

"Oh, he's so cute!" Rin exclaimed, slipping down from her chair to crouch and hold out a hand for the dachshund to sniff.

And now Kakashi had a peculiar look in his eyes, conflicted, almost like he wanted to join her but didn't want to at the same time— Wait. Axel pulled up old memories from those early episodes, when the characters had gone on their first mission outside the village; Kakashi had summoned a dog pack.

"Hey, Kakashi—" Axel started, and the boy sent him a sharp look. "Could you get Dach some food?" He gestured to the plate of chicken. "One of these schnitzels would be fine."

He looked somewhat suspicious, but he did get up from his chair. "…These what?"

"Torikatsu," he corrected, kicking himself mentally.

Still, Kakashi didn't remark on the odd word further—simply giving him a narrow look and taking the dog's plate from the floor. He got the dog one of the schnitzels, tore it into smaller pieces, and set the dish back down.

Minato, however, felt his students were owed a little explanation: "Axel uses some interesting words, and dislikes honorifics. Just take it as him being weird, not rude."

Axel snorted, and turned over the chicken to cook the other side. There was some talk about Dach, and how the dog had ended up here—it was a funny enough story—and by the time that topic was settled, the food was ready to serve. Mixing the cooked onion and sauerkraut with the mashed potatoes, he sploped it into a serving bowl.

From the cabinet, he got out five plates and cups to set out on the table. Then he pulled open a drawer and got out his utensils.

"What are those?" Obito asked, when a fork was set beside each plate at the table.

Axel had made the set of forks himself, after he had sat down to dinner one night a month ago and realized that if he didn't take matters into his own hands he'd have to eat with chopsticks for the rest of his life. He wasn't good at eating with chopsticks.

"This," Minato dramatically picked up his own fork, "is another of Axel's eccentricities."

"Thanks," said Axel drily, grinning.

But Obito was still giving his silverware a mystified look. "Okay, but… what is it?"

Axel demonstrated the usefulness of the utensil by stabbing one of the schnitzels and moving it to his plate, then scooping out some mashed potatoes from the serving bowl. "It's called a 'fork'."

Following the set example, Minato served himself. As did the three genin, though they did so with varying levels of enthusiasm; Kakashi seemed indifferent, Rin was somewhat intrigued, and Obito still looked like he didn't trust his fork one bit.

Then they began eating, and the oddness of the forks was overshadowed by the oddness of the food. Sure, schnitzel and torikatsu are similar, but the usual side dishes aren't. And that thought reminded him that he had forgotten to cut up the lemons he'd bought.

"Just a minute," Axel said, standing to do so now. He passed out the citrus wedges, and squeezed the juice over his own slice of chicken.

Adding lemon to her next bite, Rin smiled at the change in flavor. "Your food is weird. Good—but weird."

Obito said something too, but he had discovered the deliciousness of mashed potatoes moments before and could not be understood around his mouthful of food.

"Same as the man himself," Minato joked: "Good, but weird."

Kakashi remained silent, but, based on his half-empty plate, he had at least enjoyed the chicken. Not that Axel had any idea when the boy had eaten, or how: the mask had remained firmly in place, as far as he had noticed. Just another thing that lined up tidily with the anime, despite the obvious logistical difficulty of eating without letting anyone see behind the mask.

Rin took it upon herself to clear away the dishes when everyone was done eating—even when Axel said she really didn't need to—and set the stack of plates in the sink. When it looked like she might actually clean them, he had to put his foot down.

"I clean them later," Axel said. He turned to Minato for backup, saw his semi-scheming look, and raised a curious brow. "Besides, I think your teacher has plans."

Minato smiled. "Well, you do run a blacksmith store. And my poor students—two of them don't have any tools of their own!"

A statement Obito had to puzzle over a moment longer than Rin, before matching her excited grin. Kakashi was keeping his face carefully blank, but there might have been the briefest flash of jealousy in his grumpy gaze.

"But only a discount, Minato," Axel said under his breath, as they followed the more eager genin out to his shop. "Half off."

"I knew I could count on you," his friend whispered back. Then Minato raised his voice, calling his students to order. "Alright, kids! We'll start with five kunai and two shuriken each. Choose well!"

Two happy shouts of agreement, followed by a clatter of metal as both students carefully weighed their options: literally, since the balance of a throwing knife is very important. Rin tossed a kunai from one hand the the other, and Obito swiped one kunai through the air in a mimed slash attack.

Axel looked to Kakashi, who had stayed back. "That includes you. If you want."

The boy frowned at him, then turned to his teacher.

"Don't look at me," Minato smiled, but he waved him forward. "If you want new kunai, go right ahead. I'm paying."

Looking at them all in turn—even Dach, who had followed them out of the kitchen and was now watching the excited kids with a wagging tail—Kakashi made his choice. He walked over to join his new teammates at the shelf of throwing weapons.

The three of them began debating the different knives, clearly aiming to get the best kunai they could out of this deal. Rin had a collection of four that she had decided on, but was torn on which she should claim as the fifth. In contrast, Obito couldn't even decided on one.

"They're all so cool!" he lamented loudly, looking between two kunai that looked basically identical.

Kakashi shook his head, as if he couldn't believe that his teammate would have such trouble choosing… but that didn't change the fact that he had only set aside two by then.

"So," Minato said, leaning over, "do I get a discount, too?"

Axel crossed his arms, giving his friend a long look. "This is a business, not a give-away."

"'Charity'?"

"Not for you."

"Darn." But Minato didn't really sound that bothered. "Anyway, have you had any luck?"

Not following the sudden topic change, Axel shook his head. "What?"

"About your kunai," he continued, pulling one such knife from his leg pouch. "Why they feel natural. What it is that you do to make them that way, despite you not having…?" His voice trailed off, deliberately, just asking for the sentence to be completed.

Axel blanched; he had rather hoped that conversation—from more than a week ago!—would have been forgotten by now. He actually did have a theory, or at least the beginnings of one. But he had no idea how to go about saying it without sounding crazy.

After all, everyone has chakra. Revealing that he just didn't… What if somebody decided that was reason enough to whip out the scalpels and start investigating?

"Uh… No?"

It sounded like a question. Minato just tilted his head to the side, waiting.

"Okay, well." Taking a breath, choosing his words very carefully, Axel asked, "When you fight, even with knives, do you use chakra?"

"Yeah. Why—" He cut himself off, blue eyes brightening as he landed on an answer. "Oh, of course!"

Axel swallowed, worried what that expression might mean.

But Minato just smiled. "Your chakra must be quieter than I thought."

"…What?"

"I assume it's some sort of kekkei genkai," he continued, not noticing the flash of confusion, and nodded to himself. "Something that makes your chakra impossible to detect. I suppose that might make it line up easily to other signatures."

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

Minato noticed the uneasy tone in his voice, and promptly misinterpreted it. "Don't worry, Konoha doesn't prosecute people with kekkei genkai. I've heard other villages do, sometimes."

Before Axel could say anything for or against the explanation Minato had come up with (and he wasn't even sure which way he'd go), the genin called for their attention. All three of them looked quite pleased with their selection—even Kakashi.

Axel gratefully took the excuse to leave the conversation, walking over to the register to ring them up.

"This everything?"

Obito nodded, though he did look longingly at a tanto hung up on one of the other displays. It was a new piece, the last one Morimoto had helped him with; it did look pretty impressive, even if Axel wasn't fully satisfied with how it had turned out. He wished he'd had more time with the more experienced blacksmith, to pick his brain for advice.

Well, Axel thought to himself, he did actually know of at least one other smithy. And this was a hidden village, for goodness sake!— He should be able to find somebody who knew their way around making swords.

Minato paid for the assorted kunai and shuriken, looking amused at how jealously each of his students guarded their own choices from the others. Even Kakashi was careful not to mix his selection with the rest, though he was less obvious about it than, say, Obito.

"You were eyeing it, don't lie!" the boy exclaimed, quickly storing away the kunai in question. "You're jealous I got the best one!"

"I wasn't," denied Kakashi, sounding (remarkably) amused.

"Boys," Rin stepped in. "There's really no point arguing. Especially since we all know I got the best ones."

That got both their attentions: "What?!"

Minato looked like he was about to dissolve into laughter, and was only keeping quiet by phenomenal force of will. He coughed into his fist to get their attention. "Okay, team. It's getting late, and we should be getting going."

They all said their goodbyes—Kakashi's tone had gone back to being grudging, but at least he wasn't glaring anymore—and Axel waved them off from his front step.

"Well," Axel said, sharing a look with the dachshund standing by his feet. "That went better than I thought it would."

Author's Note:

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Oh, wow, dang. Things actually did go fairly smoothly. What a twist!

I find writing young-Kakashi to be pretty tricky. Of course, that might be because most of the stories I've read where Kakashi is a kid he is also a time traveler, so… yeah. If you have any recommendations for how young-Kakashi should act (or if you know of any good young-Kakashi fanfictions), I would greatly appreciate it!

If you're interested in cooking this dinner yourself (and it's a really easy dinner to cook, too), a quick Google search should find you the recipes. Still, to point you in the right direction for the mashed potatoes, the recipe I used was called "Creamy Amsterdam Mashed Potatoes With Sauerkraut".

Alternate chapter title: Cooking With Ninja ™

Sorry that the post came so late today. I had to re-arrange the entire thing and, as a consequence, needed to write basically half the chapter. On the upside, that means I have more of the next chapter written, and that hopefully means a late-day posting won't happen next month.
Updates on the 15th of every month.
Thanks again for reading, and (hopefully) enjoying! And thanks again for all the follows, favorites, and reviews.

Translations:
"torikatsu" = "chicken cutlet"

See ya on the flipside, everyone!