Chapter 17 - Just To Touch A Dream

Author's Note:

To Guest: Thanks!

~ Amina Gila

Anakin jerks awake, images of the galaxy shredding while Plagueis rips his life out replaying constantly through his mind. He doesn't remember laying down, but he's curled awkwardly on his side, and he feels a hand fleetingly touch his shoulder.

Blinking a few times, he looks up to see Obi-Wan sitting next to him. His helmet is off now; his eyes are still yellow but something about them doesn't look as sharp as they did earlier. "You are... safe here," he tells him, almost awkwardly, as though he doesn't really know how he's supposed to handle this. Probably, he doesn't.

Something's wrong, though. The Force feels –

Anakin nods, breathing in and out a few times to try centering himself, shaking off the nightmare. It was just a dream. Plagueis is gone. It's not like he can do that anymore. But the sheer intensity of the death Anakin felt in that moment when he thought he was going to die, when he had a vision of what was happening to the galaxy, isn't fading. It's not a lingering sensation of his nightmare. He's gotten used to the constant screaming and death that constantly fill the Force here, but now it seems worse somehow.

Is it... getting worse?

Force, that's –

"Do you sense that?" Anakin asks, faintly.

"The death?" Obi-Wan asks, "Yes. It's possible a more major star system is... dying right now. It's happened before." He doesn't sound uncaring exactly, but it doesn't sound like nearly the level of concern his own Obi-Wan would show and it grates on him.

Nor does Anakin think it's that simple. The screaming is too much. The disintegration is definitely getting worse. The knot of dread inside of him only grows. "How did this start? Do you know nothing of what caused it? The galaxy isn't just dying. It's – it's disappearing. Like the Force is... I don't know. I had a vision of it."

Obi-Wan frowns, and he can see actual concern lingering in his eyes this time. "I can only speculate. Plagueis has studied unnatural abilities for a long time. Perhaps if he did something that brought you here, that is what... started this."

"Anything more specific?" he asks, almost desperately, because that gets them nowhere. He has to stop this. He has to, and he has no idea what to do.

"He was obsessed with immortality," Obi-Wan offers, "I think he may have achieved it, but I can't imagine how that could cause the galaxy to die.'

"Immortality?" Anakin echoes, dubiously, "How would he do that?"

"He was never inclined to teach anyone else the... complex abilities he studied."

Plagueis did feel wrong in the Force. Maybe that is what caused the Force to... break. Or whatever exactly happened. But if that's true – and now that Plagueis is gone it only seems worse – then what is he supposed to do about it?!

"We have to stop this," Anakin says, hands clenching, "There won't be a galaxy left to... help if it's all gone."

Obi-Wan stands, moving to the... some sort of food supplies in the corner, that Anakin's not really paying attention to and frankly he has no idea how that's even a concern right now. "Qui-Gon doesn't know anything more about it?" he asks evenly, voice betraying little emotion at the name.

"No. No one does."

"Then it's not something we can do anything about now. There are other things we need to discuss before we reach your... friends."

The battle over the Malevolence. Are they alright? What happened to them? Anakin has no idea how long he's been gone but it feels far longer than it probably has been. "What are you... planning to do?" he asks, carefully, "Why are you going there?" He still doesn't know if he can trust the Sith's intentions, even if that hurts.

Obi-Wan returns to the table, carrying two cups of... tea.

At least that's what it looks like. Smells weird, for some reason.

"The tea available thanks to the war is far below standard," Obi-Wan grumbles, passing Anakin one of the cups.

The sheer familiarity of all this makes him suddenly miss his own Obi-Wan so much.

"I'm not taking you back because I agree with the Rebellion," Obi-Wan begins, finally, "But with my master gone, Clovis will try to assume full control himself. He will be reluctant to answer to me. We need to use force, and soon, if we intend to seize control."

Anakin's not surprised about that, and he can't say he disagrees, either. Maybe this really is the chance they've been waiting for – after they stop the disintegration.

"I don't agree with all that the Rebellion has done, either," Anakin replies, "I... know the Empire has the potential to help the galaxy and hold it together in a way the Republic never did, but those in charge are choosing not to help." Or there wouldn't be a reason for the war to have started in the first place.

"And we will change that," Obi-Wan agrees, "It will be simpler if your... friends are willing to cooperate, but we can still do it without them."

He still assumes Anakin's going to side with him. And if they're... going to actively do something to end this, he will. As long as it doesn't involve becoming a Sith. "I think they'll agree if there's... a real chance, and if it doesn't have to be a Sith Empire."

Something darkens in his eyes. "Perhaps it doesn't need to be, but the Jedi are no better."

"What... happened?" Anakin asks, hesitantly, "I've heard many were Fallen, and that one started a war on Mandalore."

His expression tightens. Anakin's almost expecting him not to answer – Obi-Wan doesn't really talk about his emotions, except to gripe about things – but then he does. Anakin can sense a lingering grief, even if he's not outwardly showing it. "I was staying there in hiding when the other Jedi came there, started instigating Mandalore against the Empire. Tensions were already running high but there was a tentative peace treaty. The Empire didn't want any trouble with Mandalore. But he got all the warriors to start fighting. The Empire sent in more forces, took out Satine – the Duchess – and nearly everyone in the government. Most of the planet isn't even habitable anymore."

Satine.

Anakin knew her a little during the war. She and Obi-Wan had a friendship that was... fairly close. Maybe something like the friendship he and Padme have now. Though he can't imagine Obi-Wan ever doing something that would break the Code.

... Not that being a Sith isn't the greatest breach of the Code there is.

"I'm sorry you lost her," he supplies, quietly.

If he's wondering how Anakin knows, he doesn't ask. "You are here now," he replies, finally, a burning intensity in his gaze that could almost be unsettling, "That is... what matters."

He has no idea what to say to that, though a warmth spreads through him – that someone would actually say that about him. The most Anakin can offer him is a shy smile.

"I am aware that... our past meetings have not always been... pleasant," he begins, almost awkwardly like he doesn't know how to approach this, "I... regret harming you, but that changes little."

The apology catches him entirely by surprise. Obi-Wan just doesn't... do that. Never really has. But he obviously means it and it does mean something, even if he's right that it won't change anything – the memory of Obi-Wan trying to invade his mind. Or losing his hand again, though at least that was replaceable.

"It's okay," Anakin tells him, "I'm just glad that you are... here." That, in the end, is really what matters most to him.

Obi-Wan touches his shoulder, a little uncertainly – as though physical affection isn't something he's dealt with in a long time – and Anakin leans into it, just a little. He isn't really used to this from Obi-Wan, either, though it still means a lot, and he still wants it.

**w**

Smoking debris is all that's left of the Malevolence when they come out of hyperspace over the rebel base. The plan worked. The ship is gone. Finally. Though that won't mean much now that the Empire knows where their base is. There's undoubtedly going to be more forces on the way shortly, so they'll have to be out of here before that happens.

Obi-Wan doesn't look overly pleased, but he doesn't comment.

"I'll have to contact them, or they'll shoot us down," Anakin reminds, now in the pilot's seat. They're in an Imperial shuttle, after all.

"Who is this?" Padme's voice answers, from the Rebel command center.

He knew the others were okay – he would've sensed it if they weren't – but it's still relieving to hear her. "It's me," Anakin tells her, "Anakin. I'm back. And, uh... I'm not alone." Doesn't want to offer anything else from space. Better wait until they're in the base before worrying about whether they'll get denied landing permission.

"Anakin?" she asks, and she's never sounded so relieved before. "I can't believe you're here. Are you alright?"

"... Yes." Well, mostly. The others probably felt what Plagueis was doing to him. "I'm fine. What happened here?"

"The battle was a little harder than anticipated, but we made it," Padme replies, "Though we have to relocate again."

Something about the words 'relocate again' send a weird twinge through him, that feel like they mean something important, but Anakin brushes that off. Right now, he just wants to be glad they're all here together. He wasn't sure if they'd make it that far or not.

When he finally lands the shuttle, Padme, Asajj, Ahsoka, and Qui-Gon are all waiting outside.

Anakin knows Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon must have been able to sense each other already, though neither of them mention it. It's Ahsoka who says it first, jabbing a finger at Obi-Wan and scowling with a, "he's the one you brought here?!"

"The Sith Master is dead," Anakin replies over any potential clamor of protests, "Obi-Wan killed him to save me." That means something to Anakin, and he suspects it will – at least to a point – to the rest of his family.

"And now, you're his new apprentice?" Asajj crows.

Anakin glares at her. "No."

"Not yet," Obi-Wan supplies, unhelpfully.

"Precisely my point," she chirps.

Qui-Gon is eyeing Obi-Wan in silence. "If I may have a word?" he asks, finally.

"Sure. Don't forget to tell me your Sith name," Asajj calls over her shoulder, as she, Ahsoka, and Padme move across the hangar to give them privacy.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon says finally, something weighted but also happy in his eyes, "It is good to see you here."

"You too, Qui-Gon," he replies evenly. He seems even more uncomfortable with this conversation than he was when talking to Anakin, though he's obviously happy to see Qui-Gon again.

"I knew you would... come back eventually."

"I'm still a Sith," Obi-Wan points out, bluntly, "I can still see the corruption of the Jedi."

"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees, "But you are not blinded by power the way the rest have been. You are here because you chose to make the right choice."

He's quiet for a long pause. "I believe there may be a chance to take control of the Empire and use it for the best. Anakin agrees with me on that."

Qui-Gon's gaze darts to Anakin, and he shifts a little closer, now that the... more personal part of their conversation is over. He still feels hesitant expressing views like this, but this is Qui-Gon. It's not like he's talking to the Council – or even to other Jedi. It's... different in this reality, in a lot of ways. (It feels less like he's being constantly judged by the... masters, because there's no one here that he serves. Not in the same way.) "I saw the condition of the Republic in my own reality. I don't know what it was like here, but the galaxy needs a government with enough power to help and that actually does so."

Qui-Gon eyes them, consideringly. "It is ideal, in theory, though there are few who would not take advantage of such power."

Anakin knows that, but that problem is just as true in the Republic. That's why the Republic never gets anything done. At least in an Empire, there's a much more prevalent chance of change. At least, he can hope so because he doesn't seeany other way, and he has to believe they've been fighting for something.

"And you don't trust that I could do that without losing sight?" Obi-Wan asks, sounding the slightest bit... hurt, and not quite angry exactly, but close enough.

"I was not referring to you," Qui-Gon replies, voice calm and soothing as it always is, "If this is the path the Force intends for the galaxy, that is the direction in which it will go."

"Just believing that something is going to get better isn't going to make it happen if we do nothing," Obi-Wan answers, almost sullenly. Sometimes it's strange to remember there was a time he was a student and child, too, even if he was still a padawan when Anakin first met him. Because seeing him talking to Qui-Gon now, it's easy to see so much of both.

"Believing that the Force will guide the galaxy in the direction it intends does not mean not taking action of our own," Qui-Gon reminds, gently.

That's true enough, and Anakin will always trust in the Force. "We still need to do something about the... galaxy. The death is getting worse," Anakin interjects. It's hurting him again, even worse than it was before. It's too strong to ignore, and he's afraid of what it means. This has been going on for hours. How far has it already spread? How much of the galaxy will be left before he can even find a way to stop it, when they don't even have a place to start?

"If the Dark Side has any answers, I don't know of it," Obi-Wan says, grimly, "Even my... master knew almost nothing."

Qui-Gon's expression grows graver. "I sensed it worsening. I have... meditated on it since the disturbance began, but any answers from the Force are elusive. The Force itself has been... hurt. When it is in such turmoil, finding any way to stop it will be difficult."

"But there has to be something," Anakin objects, desperately. There has to be. He can't just let the entire galaxy die. This is what he was brought here to fix. He's supposed to be the Chosen One, but if he can't save his mother, and he couldn't save Fives or any of the other boys who were lost during the war, and he can't even save this galaxy, then what is he good enough to do? Why does he always fail when he's trying to save anyone?

He helped this reality's Ahsoka and Obi-Wan – and Clone Force 99 could easily have ended dead if he hadn't been sent here – but he can't believe that was all he was sent here for.

"If there are any Jedi Temples still reachable, perhaps we can go there," Qui-Gon suggests. He doesn't exactly sound like he believes anything is going to come of it. Anakin can't say he does either, and that's what scares him so much. That's really their last hope and if this is entirely unheard of even among the Sith, then –

Then what?

It's not something he wants to think about, but there's no time for them to keep pretending nothing's wrong when the disintegration has already come so far. And not when he knows for a fact that there's absolutely nothing natural about it.

"If there's anywhere left safe," Obi-Wan agrees tersely. "Wherever you two go in search of answers, I will... accompany you." He's afraid of something happening to them too now, Anakin realizes. He hadn't seemed that worried about it before, but perhaps now that they're actively discussing it, he's realizing how serious it is. (Or maybe, now that he's with Anakin and Qui-Gon again, he actually has something left to lose.)

"I will look into it immediately," Qui-Gon says, "But we may be unable to depart until after the evacuation is complete. And Anakin, the others have been waiting to speak with you."

He can imagine.

Anakin nods, gaze lingering on the two of them a moment longer before heading to where the others are waiting.

Ahsoka tackles him in a hug without a word the moment they're finally somewhere semi-private. He catches her, holding her tightly. "Are you alright?" he asks when her death grip on his ribs doesn't let up in the slightest.

She shakes her head, face pressed against his chest. "I – I felt it happening. Felt you... fading. I didn't know what was happening. Padme said you were taken by the Empire, and I thought..."

He squeezes her back tighter, lightly running a hand on the back of her lekku. It's a touchy thing for Togrutas unless it's by someone they're very close with, but he did that with his Ahsoka plenty of times. This Ahsoka doesn't seem to mind, either. "I'm alright," he assures.

"Now you are. But you almost weren't. Rex –" They both pretend she doesn't nearly trip over the name. "– is already gone. I can't lose you, too."

He can understand that overwhelming fear far too personally. He was so afraid of losing someone else after his mother died – he still is – and he'd been so afraid that with Ahsoka under his protection, he'd fail her too. That's why he did everything he could to teach her how to protect herself. "You won't, Snips," he promises, "I'm not going anywhere without you." Unless it's something entirely out of his control. (Would it have at least saved everyone's lives if – if Obi-Wan hadn't saved him? If Plagueis had finished?)

"You mean it?"

His heart clenches. He doesn't much care for his own safety, but he doesn't want to hurt her like that, and he knows she's... the only person she has. "Yes, I do."

She loosens her death grip just a little, though she doesn't pull back. "Why do you call me that? Snips, I mean?"

"Our meeting was... unexpected," Anakin replies, dryly, "I wasn't intending to get a padawan, but the Council assigned her to me, and I accepted her. We gave each other nicknames within the first hour."

Hearing about the other Ahsoka only seems to make her feel broody, though. Not that Anakin's surprised by that – if there was a universe where he and Obi-Wan had an... easier relationship and his mother never died, he couldn't deny feeling a small level of envy, too.

"Are you okay?" the Togruta asks, frowning up at him. "What was he... doing to you?"

"He was going to... feed me to the galaxy to stop it from dying. But it didn't work. I'm fine." (Could it have worked? Would the galaxy be safe now if – if he had died?)

"What?" she yelps, eyes wide.

"Obi-Wan stopped him," Anakin assures.

She doesn't look very comforted at the news. "How could he think that – that would help anything?" she demands, incredulous.

"It... it may have, considering my strength in the Force. In my own reality, I was always told that it was my purpose to balance the Force. Saving the galaxy in this way would..." He has no idea if it would work, but he can't help wondering suddenly. (If he can't save anyone when he's alive, but he would be able to do it by dying.)

Ahsoka glares. "I don't care."

He doesn't have the heart to mention to her any of the questions spinning in his own mind. He just squeezes her shoulder lightly instead. "We're fine now. We only need to find a way to... stop this before it gets too far."

And there's something else he really ought to deal with now that he's back at the base.

"Are you... alright with Obi-Wan here?" Anakin asks, approaching Asajj. He can only imagine how hard being around him would be. It was never easy to see Dooku again after Geonosis. Every time, it only got progressively harder. He can't imagine being forced to work with him.

Her expression darkens a little. "So long as he doesn't start the fight, I'll try not to throw him out an airlock."

Anakin laughs at the unexpectedness of it – even if it's really not funny. "That's fair. I'll warn him about that."

"I'd almost like it better if you didn't. It'd be more unexpected if he didn't see it coming. But he... rescued you. I'll deal with him. For now."

Fair enough.

"You probably want this back while it's still intact," Anakin says, holding out Asajj's lightsaber to her. He doesn't want to risk losing it, and he very nearly did. It's not like he can't manage without one, either. (He doesn't know why something is whispering that he won't need to worry about it much longer. What does that mean?)

"Can't trust yourself not to lose my things?" she snips, turning it over in her hands dramatically.

"I already had one close call," he points out, amused.

"Well, I think the crystal missed me," she says, patting it as she returns it to her belt.

"Thank you for letting me use it," he replies.

"Hopefully it served you well in taking out the Sith."

"... It was actually Obi-Wan's lightsaber that did that."

She looks unreasonably disappointed – though, Anakin can't imagine her seeing Obi-Wan after what he did to her is easy, so it's undoubtedly complicated to also have something to be grateful to him for. Besides, she and Obi-Wan have always had some kind of... complicated grudge against each other in his reality. Anakin's pretty sure it's just a violent personality clash, even when they weren't working together, and it's going to be even worse here.

... He'll have to keep a closer eye on them than he does on her and Ahsoka.

Asajj unexpectedly pats his shoulder. "Good to see you're okay, Skykid."

He gives her a small smile in return. "Don't worry about me, Asajj."

She snorts. "You've given me no reason not to, from the moment we first met."

"... Hey. How many times have I saved you?"

"My point still stands." She pats him on the head – he has no idea if it was intentional or not for her to nearly pull his hair – and he swats her hand away.

"I should see if Qui-Gon's found anything," he says, ignoring her snickering as he heads away back to the others.

**w**

They're supposed to be eating, but no one is really seems to have any more of an appetite that Anakin himself. There's too much tension in the air, too much death.

The atmosphere is too tense, and Anakin keeps thinking something's wrong, though he doesn't know exactly what. He thought Plagueis' death would stop, or at least slow the destruction, seeing as he was the one who caused it. Doesn't really know why it hasn't, or what that will mean for the galaxy.

Qui-Gon has yet to locate any Temples that are safe from the shredding and that the Sith haven't already destroyed, and he has no idea what to do.

Padme's hand slips into his under the table, and he squeezes it back.

Ahsoka's sitting on his other side, and Obi-Wan is pacing back in and forth in the hold, not even bothering to make an effort to act relaxed. Which is probably the wisest choice, though Anakin doubts any of them – including him – would be very comfortable all at the same time, so it's probably for the best.

"The base is almost cleared out. We'll have to go soon," Padme comments, breaking the tense silence.

The Force feels tense, too, like something's about to happen. Anakin doesn't like it.

"Are we certain the new base location is... secure?" Anakin asks.

Padme throws a sidelong glance at Obi-Wan, which pretty much speaks for how comfortable she is with having him on board. "Well... it's in the Core, so it should be."

"Without the help of me or my master, Clovis will have a harder time finding you," Obi-Wan speaks up.

Ahsoka reaches for her glass, then suddenly yelps loudly.

Anakin's gaze jumps to her, right in time to see her glass, and the all the contents in it, disintegrating into nothing. It shreds and swirls, lifting and fading away. It doesn't even spill. It's just suddenly... gone.

Exactly like was happening to all the stars and planets in the vision of the galaxy.

Force.

Oh no.

They already are out of time. Is that why the death feels so close suddenly?!

"We have to get out of here," Anakin urges, scrambling to his feet, breaking everyone out of their... confusion over Ahsoka's missing glass.

"What – what was that?" Ahsoka asks, eyes wide.

"The – the shredding," Anakin explains breathlessly, already moving for the cockpit. "It's here." It's starting on the planet right now. Does it start small first and get worse, or does it start happening all at once everywhere?!

Is there even much of a planet left already? He's not going to wait around to find out. They could all be about to die here. He doesn't even know if it's possible for them to make it off the planet. If there's even – anywhere left for them to go. They just have to get to the Core as fast as possible.

Asajj skids into the cockpit a few paces behind him as he fires up the engines, taking off instantly. Everyone else is crowding into the cockpit behind him, and he's grateful for that. He wants to – to see them in front of him as a tangible reminder that they're still there. That – that they aren't about to disappear, too, because if Ahsoka's glass just disappeared, who's to say that people aren't about to start turning to dust?! And that can't –

He was so afraid of losing them by having to go back to his reality, but he never imagined he could lose them like this.

And he needs to get the Batch out of here now. He's not going far until he knows they're going to be safe, too. He's never going to leave them behind.

Outside the viewport, it still looks normal, but he's not taking any chances. Everything could just be gone any second. And there wouldn't be anything he could do to stop it. No one can.

"Tell everyone else to get as far Core-ward as they can, now," Anakin orders. He waits until he sees the Marauder taking off immediately, following them, before he picks up speed through the atmosphere.

Asajj sends out an emergency message for all the rebels next back on-planet to get out of there before the planet disintegrates entirely. He can only hope that they'll do it because they can't wait around. This isn't a battle where staying will actually help. He has to get the others to safety, as fast as he can. Before it's too late.

They really are out of time.

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