I persist and resist the temptation to ask you

If one thing had been different

Would everything be different today?

~TS, The 1

"Can you excuse us for a second?" Dawn asked as calmly as she could. However Ash could recognise the burning, piercing, passionate tone of hers and he knew from experience that she wasn't going to let it go without giving it her all.

Even after all these years he still dreaded to fight with her.

Dawn turned around slowly, her fingers lingering on the doorknob for a second. With a deep breath, she walked out of the house without making much fuss. Ash, on the other hand, put the brown cat down as he watched the door close behind her. Turning to Misty, a small but clear, "oh shit" escaped his lips.

"You can't swear in a strangers' house idiot!" Misty slapped her forehead, a little bit amused by the turn of events. Then turning to James, she apologized,"Sorry about that. Seems like there's a misunderstanding. Give them a minute to figure it out."

James just nodded while Jesse eyed the Raven haired boy and looked back at the cats. Sitting down to pet the male one, a soft sigh escaped her lips. Was the joyous occasion supposed to turn into a mess? Obviously not.

Ash nodded, getting up after giving the female cat a small stroke under her chin. He absolutely adored the two of them and wouldn't want anything to happen to them. But right now, he had another battle to conquer. She won't eat me alive. I can do it! He excused himself and walked out, breathing in and out to calm down his nerves. What was he even worried about?

She wouldn't eat him alive now, would she?

He wasn't that sure.

As soon as the door shut, Jessie turned to James, demanding an explanation. "Shouldn't you inform me that there was someone ready to adopt them?" James instinctively put his arms up in defence, not expecting the sudden outburst.

"It happened just a moment ago! You should have told me you were coming home with visitors!"

Jessie wanted to roll her eyes but instead sighed, exhaustion and worry evident on her face,"She is an important client of mine! I would face serious repercussions if I lose this deal. What now?" She couldn't turn away Dawn! That will effect her job! She can't make Ash leave! That wouldn't be a decent thing to do.

Misty, who had been listening to everything silently, couldn't think of anything to ease the situation. She knew whatever she would say would end up in deaf ears. "Well they can solve it on their own, I guess. Lets wait and see."

Jessie sounded unsure,"Do they know each other?"

"Oh, They know each other very well. Yeah."

Ash could feel shivers creeping up his spine, feeling her cold aura fogging up his heart. Her back looked so majestic yet non-approachable that he wanted to do nothing but go back inside.

He took in a deep breath to calm down his nerves. The way she was standing; arms crossed, back straight, eyes staring at nothing but immovable, breathing swallow, everything indicated at one thing. Dawn was pissed. Or hurt. Or in deep thought. Or all of these.

As if she could feel his presence, she turned around and his heart almost stopped when her sapphire eyes peaked deep in his soul.

They were the same pair of eyes that loved him and lit up everytime they saw him. Those were the same pair of eyes which refused to see his face after their bitter breakup. If he could go back and turn back everything, he would do it in a heartbeat. Her sorrowful, misty eyes would always haunt him.

"Why is this happening?" She asked in disbelief. Ash watched her silently, unable to make out what she was really feeling. Maybe she was pissed. Maybe she was disappointed. Maybe both.

"What?"

"This!" She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do I keep running into you at the most inconvenient moments! First the hospital! Then at the mall! Now here!"

"Hey, I work at the hospital. You can't-"

"Seriously! What have I done to piss off Arceus this much that he keeps throwing you in my path!"

"You make it sound like a curse."

Dawn rolled her eyes, shaking her head dismissively. "Well, it isn't a blessing either."

"What are you thinking of-"

"Maya would be here in a while with the pet supplies!" Dawn was ranting more to herself than to Ash,"What am I supposed to do about this?"

"You can always go to the pet shelter to adopt one, you know. Moreover weren't you more into dogs than cats?"

Dawn gave him a menacing glare but Ash couldn't take the hint and continued,"I mean I don't see any other alternative."

"Excuse me?" She clicked her tongue in annoyance. The audacity of this brat was making her even more mad. "Alternatives? Well you can always walk away and leave the cats in my care. "

"I was here first!"

"They aren't a prize, you idiot. It's not like 'first come, first served'." Ash watched as Dawn air quoted the words, keeping up the rant. "And guess who came prepared? Me! You didn't even bring any pet carrier! I bet it was an impulsive decision on your part!"

Ash could feel his inner rebellious child surface at that competitive banter. "Hey? I don't have a secretary who I can use to run errands for me."

"And you're going to keep the cats locked in your flat in Viridian Apartments,!" She rolled her eyes again,"They'll be much happier in my house."

"You wouldn't even be available most of the times to take care of them!" Ash pointed out, his emotions getting the better of him.

Did they look like two children fighting over something silly? Yes. Did they care? No.

"Says the doctor who is as busy, if not more, than I am!"

Ash breathed in,"Dawn, there are two cats. You take one and I take the other one. That's the best option available."

Dawn blinked to calm herself down. He did have a point. She had a lot of things in her to do list but quarreling infront of a strangers' house wasn't one of them.

"I was not planning to separate them," She spoke out, her face flushed from the argument. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest and blood rushing to her cheeks. This idiot always had the habit of getting on her nerves and make her lose her composure.

"There is no other option. If you have something on your mind, tell me then."

Dawn breathed in. Yes. He was right. There was no denying that.

"Which one are you going to take?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, the teal blazer wrinkling up a little.

Ash shrugged, unsure,"You choose. I don't have a problem with either." If he could, he would have taken both.

"Then Olivia. I am taking Olivia," Dawn spoke in a heartbeat,"The female kitty."

"You already had a name prepared?" Ash asked, even more surprised. "What name did you choose for the male cat?"

"Why should I tell you?"

Ash scratched the underside of his nose, a little embarrassed, a habit which he couldn't let go even after all this years. "I was thinking of letting someone else name him since, you know, I suck at keeping names."

Dawn could feel blood rushing to her cheeks as she recalled the previous conversations they used to had. How young and naive they were!

Seeing her silent, Ash asked again,"Its fine if you don't tell me.. I mean it's completely.."

"Loki.. you know, because leo is the lion constellation and loki means lion and…" Dawn fell silent again. Constellations. She just remembered something which was buried deep in her memory and wasn't supposed to come out.

"Ahh," Ash mumbled, shifting the focus from the topic,"Was there a reason why you named the other one Olivia?"

There was a reason but Dawn wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him that. How could you tell one ex boyfriend that the name Olivia was something she and her recent ex boyfriend wanted to give a pet, if they ever adopted one? Ash already thought that she was way too hung up in the past and didn't want to add to that.

"Because," She quoted what Ray had said to her regarding the name Olivia,"It sounds like I love ya."

"You're still as corny as ever," He let out a laugh but shut up on seeing her glare at him.

"Are you really going to name him Loki?" Dawn asked, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Maybe. But Yuki sounds cool too." Ash added,"His fur reminds me of snow and-"

"He is going to be your cat," Dawn said, a little disheartened,"It's not like I have a say in anything."

"Kinda feels like you and I are adopting twins but seperately," Ash joked to lighten the mood,"Does that make me Oli's step dad?"

"Why would you even say stuff like that!" Dawn could feel her inner freak breaking free again. "You stupid, Ash."

"Ah," He reddened at the implications,"That was just-"

"I really hate the stupid things that run in the stupid head of yours, stupid," Dawn glared at him and pulled out her phone on feeling a buzz in her coat pocket's. Maya. She is a lifesaver.

Picking it up, she turned away from Ash, as if his mere sight was being a hassle to him. Ash let out a sigh, wondering whether he should just wait outside with or go inside without her. Shouldn't he wait for her to be free so that they can walk into together and deliver the news? He didn't know and he didn't want to ask her either.

"Maya will be here in a minute." She said as she saw Ash still standing there,"You should go in. I will wait for her."

"It's kinda surprising no paparazzi showed up to click your photo though," Ash joked, beginning a conversation. "I'll stay, can't leave you alone."

"They did follow me to the house I was looking at."

"You're buying a house here?" The news surprised him. Well every news regarding her surprised him. Her dating Ray? Surprising. Her adopting a cat? Surprising.

"No, just renting at the moment."

"Cool. What about your Mom?"

"She is going on a vacation. A tour around someplace she wanted to go for a long time," Dawn said and put the phone back in her pocket. When was the last time they talked like this and caught up on things? She couldn't remember.

"Ahh..I remember my Mom discussing about going on a tour with Dad everytime they get some time on their hands." Ash chuckled,"They are planning to go to Alola for a few days."

"Well they did miss out on a lot of quality time because of the family issues."

"Yeah, that's right," Ash gave her a smile,"Hey?"

"Hmm?"

"You're gonna drive Olivia home? Back to Pallet?" He asked, earning a nod from her. "Now when I think about it, you're right. How will I take care of him when I have to stay at hospital the whole day? I didn't think this through."

"So you're dumping him on me?"

She could see his expression go from confusion to horrified.

"No!" He defended himself,"I mean I have tonight free but I have to leave the first thing in the morning." He genuinely sounded guilty,"I'll ask for Gary, wait. He is good at taking care of animals."

"And what if he is busy?"

Ash thought for a while,"I'll think of something. Okay, excuse me for a while, gonna make this call."

"Yeah."

This was what she hated the most everytime she met him. The familiarity. The easygoing conversations. The normalcy. The comfort.

The unexpressed emotions.

Her mind would always go back to the past. She would think about what they did, how they became friends and how stupidly they were in love. She would ask herself how they made up after every fight and how everything changed because of the distance between them.

She would ask herself if she did one thing differently, would everything be different today? Would communicating, like they promised to do when they started to go out, help their case?

She didn't know. No matter how much she wrecked her brain to come up with an answer, she couldn't derive a conclusion.

You can't undo the past. Nothing could change the fact that she was stupidly in love with him and she had to let him go. Nothing could change the fact that she was stubborn and insecure and just took it out on him. Nothing could change the fact that he was impulsive and easygoing and couldn't feel what she was going through. You can try to understand one's situation but never feel the same emotions as them. Maybe she fucked up because she couldn't let go of the past and hurt him. But, didn't he hurt her too? Yeah, nothing would change the fact that they hurt each other. Sometimes, there's no right answer. Sometimes, it's no one's fault.

She could feel her eyes getting warm as she thought about all that. Yeah, Ash was right. She was way too hung up in the past.

She could see her car in the distance and straightened up. No. I am strong. I can do this. She repeated to herself and watched as Maya parked in front of the house and came out. Dawn began walking over to her but not without giving Ash, who was at the corner of the yard, talking to Gary most probably, a sideways glance.

Did she miss him when they were apart? Yes.

But did she want him back in her life, as a friend? She didn't know.

Staying friends would iron out the wrinkle in their lives but she would never give him that satisfaction. It was a petty thing to do, she knew it.

"Oh, you have to take them out and divide up the proportions," Dawn said, approaching the car,"There's been an.. issue."

Maya crooked her eyebrows and her eyes landed on the raven haired man approaching her. What was going on?

"Okay? As you wish Mam," Maya opened the door leading to the backseat,"I bought the formula which Miss Jessie suggested. I also bought some toys for them."

"Okay."

"Everything good?" Ash asked, approaching them,"Hello Maya."

Maya gave him a sideways glance and then turned to Dawn, confused. Then turning back to Ash, she greeted him back. "Hello, Mr Ketchum. Hope you are well."

"Ah, yes." Ash nodded, feeling a little out of place. He noticed Maya fidgeting with her fingers and he could kind of guess she was curious why she found him with Dawn. The sight would surprise everyone who knew their past.

"Ok Mam," Maya spoke up, breaking the ice,"Should we proceed?"

"Yes."

Dawn watched as Maya silently pulled out two carriers from the backseat. Before she could say anything, Ash interrupted her. "Give those to me, I will help."

Maya turned to face him, her eyes narrowing down as if she wasn't sure of what she heard. "I can do this on my own."

Ash shrugged, not thinking too much into it,"It is fine. I know you can, just wanted to help you."

"I am good," Maya closed the door behind her, turning to face Dawn. "Yes Mam. I'm done."

"You can actually give one carrier to him. He will need it to take the cat home," Dawn spoke up, putting her phone back in the pocket.

"He is going to take one of the cats home?" The question came as a genuine surprise and Dawn nodded, understanding what was confusing her assistant.

"Yeah," Dawn's affirmation made Maya even stiffer and Ash extended his hand, giving her a smile.

"Isn't Mam so sweet?" Maya smiled as she handed Ash the carrier. "She is helping you even though you came unprepared."

"Yeah. Sweet as a lime," Ash spoke, getting a loud 'Hey!' from Dawn. The calm demeanor of Maya would fool anyone but the cold glare she was giving him, somehow made him subconscious.

Did I do something to piss her off? Ash shrugged it off. It was not like it mattered anyway. The people pleaser attitude he had when he was a teen was long gone. And gone was the drama and headaches which came along with it.

"I will drop you home," Dawn said, walking out of James-Jessie's house with Olivia in her carrier and the carrier resting in her arms.

The sudden act of kindness startled Ash,"No, I.. I can take an uber home. I am good."

"I don't mind, you know," Dawn spoke up again, opening the door of her car to get in the backseat,"I will be dropping Maya home and your house in on the way. It is not a big deal."

"But-"

"I am not going to murder you and take your cat, chill," Dawn rolled her eyes,"After all, I am sweet as a lime, am I not?"

"Ok?" Ash nodded, flabbergasted. He mentally cursed Misty for leaving as soon as Dawn and Ash walked in the door and announced they will adopt one cat each. He knew she had to go back and help Tracey but her leaving him alone wasn't something he was expecting.

Ash hesitantly got in, watching as Maya entered the driver's seat, glaring at him from the rearview mirror. What was up with that? He tried to come up with a reason but drew a blank.

Girls are weird.

"Ma'am, will you be okay with driving home alone? I mean Olivia might cry during the journey and you won't be able to concentrate." Maya said, starting the car.

"I will manage," Dawn rolled her windows down to take in the sight,"Did Gary say he was available?"

Startled at her effort to make a conversation, Ash blinked to take it in. Yes they were talking without screaming their hearts out. A rare occurrence.

"Yeah."

"What will you do? You can't rely on Gary everyday."

Dawn was right. Ash knew that. And he hadn't thought that far ahead.

"I will manage," he mumbled her words back to her, getting an eyeroll.

"No. Think about it."

Ash sighed and leaned back in his seat. Memories of when they were young flooded his mind. She had this habit of suggesting to drop him home whenever they were out. And he didn't know what or how to feel about that. Was he honoured? Yes. But did it feel wrong? Yes. It was a weird thing to explain.

"I," Dawn began on seeing him quiet for such a long time,"I know a few people who are okay with pet-sitting. I can introduce you to them."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

The car ride fell silent again. Dawn stared out of the window, staring at the nightscape. People returning home looking tired as hell, teens going out to hangout in groups, street food shops opening up, everything added such a charm to the night life.

One of the cat moewed slowly and she instinctively looked at the carrier, peeking inside,"You okay?"

The big brown eyed cat stared back at her then curled up and laid down facing the other way. Yikes.

"She is already giving you the attitude." Ash said, cracking a joke.

"Yeah. I don't understand why animals don't like me."

"It is fine. She isn't used to you, that's it."

"Maybe," Dawn hummed. Recognising the way, she spoke up again,"Your house is near, isn't it? Maya?"

"Yes Mam."

"Okay."

"Loki is a good name," Ash spoke up,"I might borrow it from you."

"Okay."

"Will you be okay with that?"

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Yes, Ketchum. Sure."

"Okay then, Berlitz."

Dawn rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the smile forming at the corner of her lips. Those way of addressing each other brought back so much nostalgia that her entire life flashed before her eyes. And before she knew it, it also brought back the heartache.

Sighing to let go of those past memories, she leaned back in her seat, resting her head in the headrest. The car was slowing down and she mentally thanked herself because she wouldn't have to see his face anymore.

Yeah. She will just drop him home and that will be the last time they'll see each other.

"Goodbye Ma'am, goodnight." Maya said getting off and Dawn got off too, moving to the driver's seat.

"Thank you so much, Maya. You're a lifesaver."

"Anything for you, Ma'am," Maya smiled and bowed a little,"I'll leave now."

"Yes."

"Thank you, Maya," Ash waved from the backseat,"You helped me out a lot." He pointed at the carrier and other food she have him for Loki. Maya just nodded and was on her way.

Dawn slowly started the car and started driving off but not before checking him out in the rearview.

He hadn't changed much. A little muscular, a little tanner and maybe he looked little older and matured but he was the same Ash she knew years ago.

The same Ash who took her breath away with his smile and the same Ash who left her stranded.

She couldn't say that they were incompatible. They were stupidly in love. They were stubborn. They weren't ready for the situations which demanded immediate attention.

And the fact that they were far away from each other didn't help their case either.

"You're frowning," Ash spoke up, startling her.

"What?"

"You have this look which implies you're thinking too hard," Ash pointed out again,"If you have a lot on your mind, stop the car and clear your head. You can't drive like that."

Dawn flinched a little. This. She hated this familiarity with him. He could read her like a book and she wasn't comfortable with this.

"I am okay."

"Dawn-"

"I am okay." She emphasized without looking away from the road.

"No. You're not. I know that face. Stop the car."

"I'll drop you home safely, chill," Dawn hissed, annoyed.

"I am more worried about you at the moment! Dawn stop. A five minute rest isn't going to harm you."

"Okay Mr genuis, where do I stop?" She let out a groan,"I am in the middle of a road. Traffic is around me. Stop distracting me."

That shut Ash up. Dawn's eyes flickered to the backseat and she saw Ash pouting as he stared out of the window. Adorable.

She shook her head, throwing the thought away. Nope. Nope. Nope.

She can't do this to herself.

"And your flat is just a kilometre away. I'll rest there."

Ash's head snapped in her direction,"Wha- in my flat?"

"Huh?" She repeated her words in her mind and immediately realised what she implied,"No. No! I mean in the parking lot not in your house. Geez."

"You're welcome inside though."

"I'll manage."

"I'll make your favourite Assam Tea."

Dawn rolled her eyes,"I prefer Coffee."

Ash let out a chuckle,"Yeah, you prefer Coffee but you love Assam tea. There's a difference."

"Being chatty, aren't you?" Dawn rolled her eyes, unable to hold back her laugh,"Not today though. I have to go home. Today was hectic."

"Sure."

Ash noticed the familiar locality and breathed in. He was home. When was he going to see her next? He didn't know.

Did he want to meet her soon?

He didn't know that either.

There was this ache in his heart which he couldn't explain. Was it because he was seeing her after such a long time? Maybe. Was it because he knew how cute and blushy she could be but chose to be curt and professional with him? Maybe.

She was an integral part of his life, there was no denying it. She taught him so many things. She gave him confidence, she gave him courage, she gave him a reason to be the best version of himself.

She was the first girl he had loved. And he loved her with all his heart. He knew he would jump into anything if it meant saving her smile.

And that's why he didn't understand what went wrong.

Well, he knew what went wrong but he was too much of a coward and egoistic to accept his mistake.

"Thank you," he said, quietly getting out. Can we meet and talk? But I don't even know what to talk about? Apologize for my guilty conscience? Try to maintain friendship? I don't know.

"Welcome," Dawn averted her eyes away from his. He looked like he was debating something and although she was curious, she didn't want to ask him.

"Can I call you- I mean, if something comes up with Loki," He added quickly,"Would you be alright with it?"

"Sure," Dawn nodded,"Why not."

As he watched Dawn drive away, he couldn't help but let out a sigh. He pictured them growing old together, not being.. whatever their relationship at this moment was.

Yeah. Life was as sweet as a lime.

"Dawn!" Johanna yelled as she held her head, irritated,"Please make it stop!"

Sitting on the carpeted floor was the girl in question, clutching her head in disbelief. How did this happen? Olivia was fine the moment she took her in but now, she was a little ball of fire.

Kittens can meow very loudly, Dawn duly noted.

"I don't know how to!" Dawn picked the little kitty up and tried to calm it down by running her fingers over her fur.

"She's been shouting for the past one hour!" Johanna sat down on the nearby chair, defeated. "Call Jessie! Right now!"

"Fine!" Dawn put the struggling kitty down and got up, ran to her room to get the phone.

A lot of things were running through her mind. Was she meowing because she was hurt? Or was she lonely? Did she not like the change in environment? Was Loki doing the same thing as Olivia?

Dialling Jessie's number as soon as she could, she started making her way back to the living room, where her Mom was. The loud meowing could be heard throughout the house and Dawn just hoped she could figure it out before it got out of hand.

"Hey, Jessie!" She spoke as soon as the other girl picked up.

"Yes, Miss Dawn?" Jessie spoke out,"Is that-"

"Yes! Oli won't stop shouting! I tried feeding her! She ate and now she is shouting again! I don't understand-"

"She is just missing her brother," Jessie mumbled,"They were kind of very attached to one another and looked after each other too. I guess she is shouting because she hasn't seen him for so long and is worried."

Damn.

Damn.

Dawn hummed in understanding and looked up, catching her mother's eyes. Disconnecting the phone, she gave her mother a frustrated glance.

"What happened?"

"Oli is missing Loki and yeah, that happened."

Johanna was confused. Loki?

"Who is Loki?"

Dawn stopped in her tracks. Crap. She hadn't told her about her meeting Ash and adopting the two cats together. She didn't know how her Mom would react after hearing his name. All she knew was Johanna wasn't mad because at Ash because Ash broke her heart. She was mad because it happened suddenly and for a stupid reason.

"Yeah... actually," Dawn began, giving her Mom a smile,"I met-" Her phone rang and she glanced at the caller ID.

Speak of the devil…

"Yes Ash?" Dawn said, getting a surprised look from her Mom. Yes Mom, I know, Ash just called me. Stop looking at me like that.

"Loki isn't eating or playing! He ate a little wet food but that's it! I-"

"Did you call Jessie?" Dawn asked, letting out a sigh, understanding how freaked out Ash was. She was the same.

"I did! She said he is missing Olivia! I mean-"

Dawn hummed. "Manage for tonight. I mean there's nothing we can do at this moment."

"What- what do you mean?"

"Look Ash," Dawn exhaled, exhausted. She wasn't planning to meet up with him again but what could she even do? "I am shifting to Viridian in few days. That way we can keep Oli and Loki together for whole day while we are at work. We'll figure out the rest later."

"Kay?"

.

.

.

Sooooo? How are you guys? I hope you all are well!

My two cats were attached to the hip. They can't stay apart for more than a few minutes and that inspired me to write this up. I hope the next installment would come sooner than this.

Read and review? I love listening to your thoughts!

~darkestlightofhope