Tongue-tied like we've never known

Telling those stories we already told

'Cause we don't say what we really mean

We're not who we used to be

We're not who we used to be

We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

~ Two Ghosts, Harry Styles

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Johanna asked, watching as Dawn nodded, breathing in to calm herself down. Her eyes were fixated on the road and she was trying her best to not think about anything else. Right now, her priority was to make sure her mother reached the airport safely.

Moreover, it wasn't the first time she was going to stay alone. She did it for four years when she was in college and she could do it again. It's not like anything is going to change now, is it?

Yes. She had nothing to worry about but then why was she getting stressed out? She didn't know. She really wished she knew.

"This co-parenting thing you're doing with Ash," Johanna asked, her tone a little bit off,"Are you really okay with it?"

Dawn's mind stopped working for a second. Co-parenting? What co-parenting?! "No!" Her denial oozing out of her tone,"I am not okay and this is not co-parenting!"

"Sweetie-"

"No, Mom, I'm going to stop you right there," The younger Berlitz snapped in her defence,"This-whatever I am doing with Ash is a temporary fix. We will stop as soon as the cats can stay away from each other. That's all there is. Nothing more."

How can her mother even suggest such a thing?

"So you're do not think about anything when you go to his place?"

"I go there to drop Olivia off and pick her up as soon as I'm done. That's all. Most of the time it's Debbie from his complex who looks after the cats."

"Debbie?"

"Yeah.." She trailed off, realising how little she talked to her Mom about this situation. No wonder she was worried. "A middle-aged lady. She had cats before and after her children moved out, she got a few more. She takes care of Oli and Loki when we can't."

Johanna nodded, listening to her daughter go on and on about everything. Dawn was way too prideful to accept what she was going through so all she had to do was find loopholes in her daughter's stories. Years of experience had taught her that.

"Like babysitting, but for pets."

"Yes. Debbie is a real sweetheart. She is teaching the two of them to use the litterbox. That's nice."

"And Ash never invited you for coffee or anything whenever you visited?"

Dawn paused a second before answering. "He does that everytime we meet. Mom, stop. He is just being friendly."

"With his ex-girlfriend?"

Dawn paused. Ash didn't have any ulterior motives, right? Maybe. Maybe not. All she knew was she was done with him and didn't want to walk the same path again."Don't put it that way. That's a thing of the past."

"But, have you really let go of it though?"

"Obviously." She rolled her eyes. "Mom, stop."

"Fine."

Dawn let out an internal sigh of relief as her Mom decided not to pursue the topic anymore. For god's sake, she was going to be 24 in few months. She shouldn't be this startled by her mom's baseless accusations. Co-parenting? With Ash? What a joke.

But meeting him everyday reminded her of times when they used to go to school together. Maybe she missed the familiarity. Maybe she missed what she had with him. She always had to work hard to maintain her friendship and as she kept getting older, this kept getting tougher. But even after all this years, she could talk to him about anything and everything and deep down she knew he would never judge her no matter how hard she fucked up.

Losing him as a boyfriend was rough but losing him as a friend was rougher and that was a blow she could never recover from.

"See you soon, Mom," Dawn wrapped her arms around the older lady, hiding her face on her mom's shoulder.

"Yes. Take care okay hun? Call me whenever you need help."

"Yes Mom. Take care of yourself too. Happy journey." She hugged her mom tighter, not letting go. When would be the next time she can hold her like this? She didn't know. There's just something soothing in a mother's embrace that every child can't get enough of. Dawn was no exception.

Johanna nodded, kissing her daughter's forehead,"Yes my darling. Don't overwork. If you are overwhelmed, take time off. Nothing is more important than your health, okay?"

"Yes."

Breaking the embrace, Dawn smiled at her Mother,"Mom, have fun okay. Don't worry too much about me. I will be okay."

"I know that you'll be okay," Johanna tucked the loose strand of hair which was swaying in the wind behind her daughter's ears. "But moms' worry."

"There's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," Johanna laughed, deciding against telling her daughter that someday, she too will feel the same way a mother does. "Goodbye honey."

"Goodbye Mom. No need to worry okay!"

Dawn watched as her mother walked away and for a moment she felt like she was saying goodbye to her kid who was off to college. It was a weird feeling, she was worried but at the same time understood why her Mom needed a break. Her heart was heavy and she let out a silent sigh, hoping this desolate feeling would go away. Even if this was a temporary thing, she felt like a part of her was slipping away.

She got in the car and paused for a while before turning the engine on. She would be alone, for atleast two months. Well not technically alone, she would have her cat with her and sometimes, Loki too. A groan passed her lips. Loki meant Ash would come over too.

She picked up her phone and dialled his number. A month ago she wouldn't even have dreamt of calling him up but now, here she was.

Great.

"Yeah?"

"I'll pick up Oli in the evening, is that okay?"

"Cool."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

She disconnected the call and stared at the caller ID for a minute. Was she expecting for something more? She didn't know.

On one hand she was glad he kept the call short but on the other hand, she just wanted to vent. It was at moment like these that she realised that she was back at the starting point. She had acquaintances but friends? No one except Kenny and Lyra. Kenny was busy with his restaurant. Lyra was at work. She couldn't just call them up and take up their time.

No. That would be something she can never do.

She started the car and began driving to her office, turning the radio on. A tune which she didn't recognise hit her ears and she began going through the hectic events which took place during this week.

She had to go and leave Olivia at Ash's place, every fucking day. And yet, whenever she got her back, the feline would burst into a fit of loud, obnoxious meows. Her apartment was taken care of and she would move in today. A part of her was glad that she didn't have to go back to her old house, all the way back in Pallet Town.

Going back to a place where no one is present to welcome you is… a little sad and lonely.

"Here's your coffee, Mam," Maya said, putting the mug infront of Dawn. "And I have booked a table in the restaurant, as you told me to."

"Thanks Maya," Dawn leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes for a second. "I still can't believe we are going to land the deal."

"Congratulations Mam. I can understand that you're in high spirits because of this."

"No Maya, you don't understand," Dawn let out a sigh of relief,"It's the biggest deal I ever came across. Nothing this huge has happened ever since my Mom left everything to me. I mean can you fucking imagine-" Dawn sat up straight, knocking the table which made a little coffee spill on the desk,"sorry about that"

Picking up the tissue box with her lightning fast reflexes, Maya began cleaning up the spill,"I can understand, Mam. It sure is a great deal."

"Yes." Dawn sipped her coffee silently, the edges of her lips curved up in a small smile. So far, everything was going well and she didn't want anything to hamper it.

"They will be in the restaurant in half an hour, Miss," Maya said from her desk,"Should we leave?"

Dawn nodded, finishing the last of her coffee and getting up. Picking up the coat which was hanging on her chair, she quickly collected her phone and shoved it in her purse. Maya put all the necessary documents and files in a bag and walked out after Dawn, the heel of their shoes clicking in unison.

"Here," Ash took a seat on the table opposite to Leaf and Gary and put down the drinks on the table,"The food would be here in few minutes."

"Thanks Ashy-boy," Leaf teasingly said as she took her glass from the tray, making Ash groan at the decades old nickname.

"Oh come on," Ash glared at her, "Leafy, not funny."

"It is a nice name, what do you mean?" Leaf laughed, wiggling her eyebrows to irk him up even more,"And it is funny for us, so guess what, the name is staying. "

"Whatever," Ash rolled his eyes. His eyes wandered around the ring on her finger and he couldn't help but smile,"Finally huh. In few months, you both will be together, like for eternity."

"Rest of our lives," Gary chuckled,"Eternity sounds way too big."

"Rest of your lives is also a big time," Ash laughed and then turned to Leaf,"Leafy, you still have time, run away from this narcissist."

"Hey!"

"I am cool," Leaf could hardly hold back her happiness and it was clear from her bright smile,"He's fine."

"I still can't believe you two are getting married," Ash laughed again and watched the smiles on their face widening. Those two lovebirds were so in love that it made Ash wish for a love like theirs,"When Gary proposed you to be his girlfriend for the first time, we didn't think it would end up like this."

"Yeah? Wait, what?" The soon to be married couples' eyes widened in realisation,"You were spying on us?!"

"Oops," That wasn't supposed to come out and Ash silently began sipping his drink, averting his eyes away.

"Ash Ketchum!"

"Fine!" Ash laughed nervously, holding up his hands in defence,"And FYI, I wasn't alone. May, Drew and D-Dawn were with me."

"You should have stopped them!" Gary his his face in the palm of his hands,"I made a fool of myself back there. Oh no….no... nooooo."

"You almost leaked the info that I had a crush on Dawn," Ash rolled his eyes, thinking about the past,"Imagine your crush finding out that way. Thank god she didn't."

"You two ended up dating anyway, shut up," Leaf said, trying her best to hide her flushed face,"No wonder the girls didn't pressure me for details."

"Yep." Ash gave her a thumbs up,"See, something good happened out of it afterall."

"You can't wiggle your way out of this Mister," Gary said, glaring at Ash,"And you had the audacity to fight with me when I didn't tell you about my relationship status."

"We fought about that, didn't we?" Ash could hardly hold back his amusement,"But we did enjoy a lot in that amusement park so it's fine."

"I embarrassed the hell out of me!" Gary let out a sigh, massaging his temples,"You drama queen."

"That was almost a decade ago," Ash said, laughing at the memory,"A lot happened since then. You embarrassed yourself a lot after that so that memory isn't the only one."

"As if you're the one to talk," Gary said, rolling up his sleeves. The waitress laid their food infront of them and Ash thanked her, followed by the other two. Once she left, Gary brought up the topic again,"Remember how he proposed Dawn on the Ferris Wheel and then was a crybaby the whole ride home?"

"Come on," Ash wanted to dig a hole and lie down there,"Shut up."

"Ahh, wait," Leaf quickly snapped a photo of the food,"Now, proceed."

"How is Loki, by the way?" Gary asked,"Is he with Dawn at the moment?"

Ash shook his head while filling up his plate with noddles,"They are with Debbie. She is taking care of them when we can't."

"Cool." Leaf said as she began picking out the capsicum from her plate and transferring it to Gary's plate, making the latter laugh.

"Just eat it dumbass," Gary laughed,"It doesn't even taste bad."

"Hush," Leaf poked her tongue out at him,"By the way Ash, any plans for the bachelor's party?"

Ash squinted his eyes at the lady,"Not telling you."

"Hai hai," Leaf smirked,"Oh, remember that wedding dress shop we passed on our way here? They have a dress I really like and I need your honest opinion on that."

"Wouldn't May or Misty do a better job than me?" Ash eyes her curiously.

"They will but," Leaf let out a grin,"You're my best friend. I want you to add your opinions too."

"Silly," Ash laughed, rolling his eyes,"Damn, I haven't seen May in ages. Can't wait to meet everyone."

"The wedding is still far away," Gary leaned forward to take the bottle,"I just hope nothing bad happens in the meanwhile."

"It is going to be okaaaaaay," Ash drew out the last word,"I am not going to let anything ruin your special day."

"Sorry to say but you're the master of fucking things up," Leaf added teasingly,"You almost cancelled the band which was supposed to play on the wedding."

"I was sleep deprived! And it wasn't my fault Gary left his phone when he came over to take care of the cats," Ash defended himself, crossing his arms over his chest, his cheeks a little puffed up.

"We were giving you an example. There are tons of them."

"Name another thing I fucked up then!" He added with a laugh.

"You ruined such a good relationship as soon as you got into medical college," Leaf sighed,"Damn Ash, you really like fucking yourself up, don't you?"

"It was a mutual breakup." Ash waved his fork around to make his point clear.

"No," Gary wanted to smack the man infront of him,"She walked out and all you had to do was go after her and make yourself clear. You didn't."

"I did try making myself clear, it just didn't-" Ash shut himself up when he saw Gary and Leaf staring at him with unrelenting, fixated stare. "What?"

"Look at us in the eye and tell us you still think that," Leaf asked, her gaze softening,"Ash, you're a good friend but the way you were behaving back then wasn't something a girl would expect from her boyfriend."

Ash let out a sigh,"Dawn was in the wrong too you know. You just can't make everything my fault."

"We are not," Leaf put down the spoon,"But two wrongs will never make a right. Ash, come on. You two are on talking terms now, but have you discussed about what happened?"

Ash let out a sigh. Yeah. Right.

"It's not like I can just walk over to her and say, hey Dawn, remember how we fucked up, lets talk about it." Ash narrated in a funny tone,"It's not that easy."

"Actually," Gary pointed at a table few tables away from theirs,"You can."

Ash followed the gaze and looked over his shoulder, his eyes widening when he found Dawn sitting there with Maya and few other people he had never seen before. Turning back to face Leaf and Gary again, he let out a weird laugh,"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"A sign from the universe perhaps?" Leaf held back her laughter,"But seriously though, what are the odds."

"I am telling you, I'm cursed or something," Ash let out a groan,"I mean-"

Leaf cut him off in a dismissive tone,"So you're not happy to see her?"

"I have been seeing her a lot in these past days." Ash thought back to the things he did in the past week. Adopting a cat. Fighting with her over his habits. Actually cleaning up the bedroom and using a bedsheet. Gosh. Fun week.

"And?" Leaf pursued her lips in a straight line,"That didn't answer my question."

"Fine." Ash let out a small groan,"See, what I did back then was stupid and I thought that if I give her time, she will come back after cooling off. She didn't. And then my ego got the better of me and we didn't reach-"

"And the fact that you got together with Miette soon after wasn't a nice thing to hear either."

Ash winced on hearing the name. God. "See, I was just- we were not together, come on."

"Oh really?" Leaf rolled her eyes.

"Really," Ash defended himself,"Come on, I would never-"

"Never what?" Gary stepped in, watching as Ash kept stumbling to choose the right words. "Hurt Dawn? Compromise what you had? Well, that's what you did."

"She was being, you know," Ash looked for a nicer word to convey his emotions,"I mean-"

"I really wish you two will sit down and talk about stuff," Leaf said as she finished the last of her food,"You both have baggage from when you two were dating each other. Sort it out. Unpack the baggage."

"I don't have any baggage. Shut up." Ash rolled his eyes, scoffing at the idea.

"And that's why you keep tabs on her, till now?" Leaf stated and let out a small sigh, her gaze softening as she tried her best to make it clear,"She's at your house almost everyday. You make tea for her whenever you can. You try to win back her trust and want to be friends again. You-"

"I am not trying to win her over!" Ash hushed Leaf,"What nonsense-"

"Let us put it in a simple way," Leaf bit her lower lip,"You want her to forgive you. For whatever wrong that happened. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe you both blew things out of proportion but you want her to forgive you because its clear as water Ash, you keep messing up your other relationships because you overthink and keep wondering if you're doing the right thing now."

"I-"

"And you both moved on from each other," Gary added,"Talking about past wouldn't be that difficult when the wound is healed. What you needed was time. Both of you got enough of that. Now, sort it out."

"But I'm not even thinking about dating her!" Ash let out a defeated sigh.

"Oh Ash," Leaf whispered softly, unable to hold it back,"Romantic relationships isn't the only thing which can exist between two people. Can you actually accept the fact that there exists someone who was once close to you and now you're not even on speaking terms?"

"It's just," Ash put his fork down, his appetite long gone,"There was a lot of screaming and crying and I don't want her to remember all that stuff again."

"Deep down," Gary added,"You still care."

"Obviously."

"You gotta do what you gotta do."

"Hey?"

The familiar feminine voice caught Dawn's attention and she looked up, her mouth hanging open at the sight in front of her. She wasn't expecting to run into Leaf here, out of all places.

"Hey!" She got up hastily, almost knocking off the documents in her hands,"How are you?"

"I am good!" Leaf chirped and her eyes wandered around the table,"I guess you were here for an important work?"

"Yes!" Dawn pointed at the empty seat infront of her,"Take a seat! Maya, please order something."

Leaf sat down, waving her hands to signal Maya that she was good,"I just had lunch. It's all good."

"A cup of tea wouldn't hurt," Dawn coaxed her,"Moreover, I just landed a pretty good deal so yeah, celebrate with me."

"In that case order desserts for all of us as a treat!" Leaf grinned,"Gary and Ash are here too."

"Cool!" Dawn laughed and turned to Maya,"Will you do it, please?"

"Sure Mam."

"I noticed you were with some high profile people. Didn't want to disturb you when you were in the middle of something important," Leaf added and watched as Dawn put everything away neatly and smiled.

"Yeah." The blunette couldn't help but let out a grin,"Haven't seen you since you came to invite me for the wedding."

"Been a long time, ehh?"

"Yeah," Dawn nodded,"I guess the preparations are going good?"

"Yes!" Leaf chirped,"The venue, food, pastor, decorations, everything is finalised. All's that is left is to buy a wedding dress."

"I'd imagined you'd do that first," Dawn laughed at the memory,"You loved looking at wedding dresses when we were teens."

"I have something in mind so all I need to see is if I can actually pull that off," the brunette laughed and watched as Maya came back and sat down beside Dawn. Soon Gary and Ash approached the table and Gary took a seat beside Leaf. Ash wondered for a while and sat down beside Gary, facing Maya.

"Hey Gary, hey Ash," Dawn greeted them.

"Hey."

Dawn's eyes flickered to the raven haired guy who refused to even acknowledge her presence. Cool.

"Dawn, quick question," Leaf broke the ice,"Why didn't you tell me you spied on us when Gary was confessing?"

Taken aback by the sudden proclamation, Dawn blinked and instinctively her eyes went to Ash,"Why would you tell her that?!"

"It just slipped!" Ash sighed, putting his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry about that," Dawn mumbled as she turned to face Leaf,"What's past is past. You two are still together now, isn't that wonderful?"

Gary let out a chuckle and Leaf shook her head in amusement, breaking out into giggles. "Seriously, eavsdropping Dawn? What would the media say if they find out you have a habit of eavsdropping?"

Dawn pursued her lips into a thin line, embarrassed,"One time. That was one time."

Dawn watched as Leaf and Gary excused themselves since they had to go home and turned to Maya, saying,"We should go too."

"Wait." Ash spoke up, scooting over so he was sitting directly infront of Dawn,"I need to talk to you."

Dawn, who had already gotten up, sat down again, followed by Maya. Ash shifted a little in his seat, mumbling,"I mean, alone? It's about the cats and something private so.."

"Ugh, okay?" She turned to her assistant,"I'll wait for you in the office? Take my car."

"But Mam- I don't mind waiting."

"It might take a long time. I want you to keep this documents safe as soon as you can. Okay?"

Nodding, Maya got up and left, and Ash turned his attention back to the woman infront of him, who was waiting for him to strike a conversation.

"So," Ash began, breathing in to calm himself down,"I guess you'll be alone for a long time. If you need help, just call me."

"Hm?" Dawn took a second to process that,"Oh, you mean in the new apartment. Okay."

"Yeah."

Dawn mumbled with the phone, wondering if he actually had something to say. She was in high spirits today and she didn't want anything to ruin it.

"Did you take today off?" Dawn started, watching as he was debating something internally. Maybe something was bothering him but she didn't know if she should even ask.

"Had morning shift. Then Gary asked me out for lunch so here I am."

"So I guess you'll be going home soon?"

Ash nodded,"Yeah. Wanna come with me?"

"What?"

"I mean-" Ash blinked, shocked at himself,"To pick up Olivia. Yeah. That's what I meant."

"That would be nice but-" Dawn clicked her tongue,"I don't have my car. I need to go to the office and get it."

"I wouldn't mind giving you a ride," Ash offered,"I mean in the past you always used to drive me home so this time, maybe-"

"Ash," Dawn couldn't see him fidgeting in his seat any longer,"What are you- I mean, what is on your mind?"

"Nothing," He lied,"Just unimportant stuff."

"If you say so."

"Dawn?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you-" He stopped in his tracks. Talking to Leaf and Gary had just confirmed his doubts. Yeah, he had fucked up and broke her heart. He was always scared of being left behind and in that chase, he ended up letting her go. He was happy when he was with her. And yeah, it took some time to finally come to peace with the fact that she wouldn't be coming back but he was happy with other people too.

So why was he still so hung up on the past? Even after so many years, he still couldn't forget how hurt, sad and broken she looked when she walked away from his life. He didn't want to make her cry yet he did. He did the one thing which he swore he would never do.

"Ash?" Dawn snapped her fingers infront of his face to get his attention. "You zoned out."

"I was just-" Ash shook his head,"Congratulations on your deal, by the way."

"Thanks!"

"Yeah." Dawn could feel her heart filling up with unexplainable happiness. So he was listening!

His mind was drawing a blank. Was he always this short on topics? He had so many things he wanted to ask her but all he could do at the moment was ask himself if he could actually start a conversation.

"Are those scratches?" Ash asked on noticing a small bandage on her index fingers.

"Yeah," Dawn started at it for a while,"Got this while I was playing with Oli. She climbs up on me like I'm a freaking tree. My legs are covered up with bruises."

"Loki tried climbing the curtains to chase a fly." Ash laughed,"I almost had a heart attack when I heard him meow from high above."

"Get a cat they said, it will be fun they said," Dawn laughed as she remembered the stupidest things Olivia kept doing.

"Yeah." Ash grinned. He watched as she tied up her hair in a bun. He really should say something. He came over to talk to her, didn't he? Why was he averting the topic?

"What are we?" He blurted out, getting strange look from her. "Don't stare at me like that."

"Like what?" Dawn asked, her eyes wide and lips parted. His question just came out of the blue and she got a weird feeling of deja vu.

"Like I'm the stupidest person on the planet."

"That you definitely are."

"No seriously," Ash sat up straight, collecting his thoughts,"Are we friends? Familiar faces? Strangers?"

"I don't know," Dawn let out a sigh,"We are… I don't know okay. Like we were such good friends. Then we dated and then… we stopped talking for years. Now, we are taking care of cats together. I don't know how to label this."

Dawn didn't know why she said that but yeah. "And," she continued,"Ash, we can be friends, if you think that will soothe your soul."

"You still use weird words sometimes."

"Yeah," Dawn let out a laugh,"I mean, we can start from being friends. We were friends before. We can do that again."

"Okay." Ash nodded. But do friends look at each other like how he used to look at her? He didn't know. "I am sorry for bringing this up all of a sudden."

"No biggie," Dawn waved it off. Talking to him almost everyday was something she wasn't looking forward to but it was a nice change in her daily, monotonous life. Maybe they'll never ever reach that level of comfort they used to share before but being friends wouldn't be that bad either now, would it?

"We should leave?" He asked,"I mean, I'll make you your favourite tea."

"You can't keep bribing me with tea."

"Are you coming or not?" Ash laughed, teasing.

"Yeah yeah," Dawn got up too.

"See, bribing works."

Dawn just rolled her eyes, trying her best not to poke her tongue out like a child. Ash laughed at her grumpy face. Maybe he chickened out now and couldn't bring up the elephant in the room but one day, he will bring it up and apologize. He will apologize even though he knows he could never make the wrongs go away. He will apologize even if she never, ever forgives him.

.

.

This was fun to write. Happy holi guys! I hope you all had a nice day!

Can you imagine its almost April? XD…

I finished watching Brooklyn 99 and lemme tell you, that story is gold! If you haven't watched it, watch it!

See you guys soon! Till then, stay safe!

~ Darkestlightofhope