Painted a picture; I thought I drew you well

I had a vision of seeing what isn't there

Caught in the moment, tangled up in your sheets

When you broke my heart; said you only wanted half of me

~ in my head, Ariana Grande

The sound of camera shutters was getting on her nerves but she knew better than to react and create a scene. Her mother had engraved that in her mind on multiple occasions. So she did what she was taught, to keep her head down and ignore the flashing lights. She walked into the apartment, her fingers gripping the keys tightly as she pushed the door open and closed it behind her, securing it tightly. Her fingers lingered on the lock for a while as she let out a breath, finally getting some peace. Just because she was trained to deal with them didn't make it any easier for her.

The amount of reporters asking her, and her employees, about Ray and Ash and them questioning her morality was eating her from within. The logical part of her knew she shouldn't listen to them but there was a part of her which was so angry and frustrated at the nameless people who were dragging her name through the mud for something scandalous. She was already going through issues herself and didn't want the opinion of others to pile up on top of them.

She slowly walked in the room, put her phone on the bed and began taking off her clothes and putting them in the basket. She had exactly one hour before Ash would come here. She hopped into the bathroom, hoping to wash all the tiredness away.

It was weird taking a bath when Olivia wasn't constantly meowing for attention outside her bathroom.

She quickly cleaned herself up and got dressed in comfortable pajamas, her mind doing flips the entire time.

"Are you okay?" Ash asked as soon as he entered the house, his breathe heavier and eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"Yeah?" Dawn took the carrier from him and sat down, opening the doors to free the cats. "Why?" She asked looking up, her fingers running over Olivia's fur. She missed this goofball so much. Olivia purred a little and bumped her head against Dawn's legs, getting a small giggle from the Bluenette.

"A lot of-" Ash stopped, admiring the soft and domestic moment as his lips curved into a teasing smile,"Atleast allow me to enter the house."

"Oh," Dawn got up, making way for him to enter. He gave her a smile as he walked past her, stopping a few feet infront of her.

"I fed the cats before coming here so we could get some privacy. Wanna sit by the pool and chat?"

Dawn could feel her heartbeat rising at the proposal. "I-" She knew that they would have to have that conversation sooner or later. The moment of truth. The red light or the green light of her time with Ash. She thought that she had prepared herself for what was about to come but damn. Nothing could prepare her for the rollercoaster she was about to go through. She knew in her heart that Ash wouldn't hurt her again, but she also knew that he wouldn't lie just to lead her on. She didn't know which option was better.

"Let me order something for us then," Dawn pulled out her phone,"Any recommendations?"

"No, anything is okay with me."

Dawn ended up ordering some dumplings and she watched as the two kittens began running all around the house, chasing each other. Olivia grabbed the curtains and began climbing up, while Loki sat at the floor and looked up, eyeing his little sister. Dawn gave a yelp and started moving towards the curtain to get her cat down but Olivia jumped and began running, Loki chasing after her.

"Loki never runs around this much when he is alone."

"I have never seen Olivia climb up the curtains before. I was taken aback."

The raven haired man let out a chuckle,"Well they always do this at my place. I think they're chasing the insects away."

"You're using them as pest control?"

Ash flashed her a toothed grin,"They don't pay rent and nor do they work. So they are helping out in other way."

"What a stupid thing to say," Dawn laughed as she followed him towards the pool. "You ever thought of teaching the pals some tricks?"

"Yes," Ash shower his arm and pointed at a small scar,"Loki didn't co-operate."

"Ah, my thighs are filled with claw marks from Oli when she kept climbing me." Dawn let out a laugh,"I am glad they don't do that anymore." She could feel her heart jumping in its cage. If...if they don't work out then would it mean she can't have conversations like this with him anymore?

The thought chilled her to the bone.

Ash slowly opened the door leading to the indoor pool. Standing at the doorway, he noticed Dawn's uneasy steps and gave her a nervous smile,''What are you scared about? "

"A lot of things, but," A little taken back by his comment, she rolled her eyes. The audacity of the man to make fun of her, as if he didn't know why she was scared. Dawn let out a shaky breath,''It is okay, just promise me that you will be honest today."

"Absolutely."

"Yeah," Dawn bit her lower lip unconsciously as she tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ears,"You are not angry at me, are you?"

He turned back, giving her a questioning glance,"Lately you did stir up a lot of trouble. You have to be specific."

"Hey," Dawn rolled her eyes,"What the fuck-"

"Lose that temper Madam, we are going to talk like adults this time."

"You telling me to calm down and stuff along those lines do not help, infact it brings out the opposite effect."

The atmosphere suddenly got a little tense and Dawn could feel her head getting dizzy. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to calm herself down. Yes. They would talk this stuff out like adults. And she did stir up a lot of trouble and got his privacy and safety compromised so his comment wasn't that out of place either. "Sorry about making you picking me up from Ray's place, me getting angry at you when you were just trying to help, and-"

"Sheesh Dawn, chill." Ash gave her arm a reassuring squeeze as she sat down beside him. She slowly lowered her legs into the water, the cold liquid making her shiver. Ash followed soon after, and Dawn could smell his cologne and momentarily closed her eyes. She wanted to reach out and wrap her fingers around his but she knew that it wasn't her right. Yet.

"No, I am serious," The events which happened few days ago was way too dramatic and she would always feel guilty for dragging him into it. "I made you pick me up around midnight, shouted at you like a nasty bitch, lost control of my emotions and acted so overdramatic. And then because of me your privacy is-"

She felt his hand on hers and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. She could feel her cheeks heating up due to the contact and the little physical touch was shooting electricity down her spine.

She hadn't felt like this in a long while and goddammit she felt like she was back in high school again.

"I would never leave a drunk girl alone if she wants my company. And I had no idea whether Ray was back in your life or not. Could never forgive myself if I gave him your address and something happened to you." Ash shrugged,"And honestly speaking, I felt very.." Ash hummed for a while, trying to think of a better word to describe his emotions. "Like, I thought you would rely on me when you were vulnerable. I shouldn't feel betrayed but I did and ... you know stuff like that."

A laugh bubbled from her throat,"If I hadn't known better, I would make the comment that you were jealous."

He nodded his head, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "It does sound a lot like jealousy, doesn't it?"

"Were you jealous?"

"I felt betrayed. Jealous? Maybe. I am not so sure."

Dawn hummed, her mind a little distracted because he was still holding her hand. She knew he didn't mean anything intimate by it, it was more like a reassurance that no matter what, he would be there.

"Does me holding your hand bother you?" Ash asked and she opened her mouth to say something but stopped, shrugging.

"I don't know. Its like-" She gave him a quizzical look,"How did you know I was thinking about it?"

"I know you," His reply came almost instantly,"I mean you were lost in thought while looking at my hands and so I wrapped my fingers around yours, I mean you always held my hand every chance you got."

"Yeah," She couldn't help but smile fondly at the memory. "I never thought we would start talking again.''

"And I didn't think you would fall for me. Again."

"Amateur mistake." She replied and turned away, hiding her laugh.

"Why?''

"Sorry?" Dawn asked,"I didn't quite get that."

"Why would you fall for someone like me? High school one I brushed it off as us being kids but now? And when my competition is people like Ray and-"

"Ashy," She squeezed his hands,"I don't know. It would have saved us so much of trouble if I didn't catch feelings. And honestly, I don't know how it happened." She let in a deep breath. "I just don't know where the urge came from. Like can you believe yelling I want to own you in front of so many people? I can never look at the girls the same way again."

"You trying to spice things up even before we are exclusive? Pervert."

Dawn looked away, embarrassed,"I didn't mean it like that?''

"Then what did you mean?"

"Stop smirking," She hit him lightly on the shoulder. "You know what I meant."

"No." The innocent smile on his face wasn't fooling Dawn. "I really don't know. Care explaining it to me, Dawnie?"

"Oh hush." Dawn could feel her phone ring and looked up,"Oh the food is here. Give me a moment-"

"You stay put, I'll get it," Ash said getting up and began walking towards the door with small steps, trying not to slip. Dawn was glad she actually had time to get her thoughts together before he came back again. Ash arrived with food soon and laid it beside them, handing her a plate.

"I forgot that I'm famous now," Ash laughed,"The delivery guy was like 'so the rumours are true' and I couldn't stop laughing."

Dawn gasped,"Oh god! You did not just do that!"

"I was not going to spill out my personal life info infront of a stanger," Ash kept laughing and Dawn couldn't believe how uncharacteristically beautiful that sound was. "Dawn, I haven't forgotten about what we were talking about. Your comment came out of nowhere, like I was surprised when Leaf told me about that, and the next moment May told me you left with Ray so I was really pissed. Like who the hell does that? And then when we met up you just dropped the bomb on me about us starting to see each other again and the amount of emotions I went through in that day was more than the excitement I experienced through all of my med school."

Dawn looked away, embarrassed yet a stupid smile was stuck on her face. This is what she missed the most about him, the sense of familiarity, the comfort, the coziness... How could someone not fall for a guy like him? The way her hands fits in his, the familiar smell of his cologne, the little hand expressions whenever he talked, the way his eyes would widen a little whenever they discussed something interesting, how he really loved explaining the stuffs he loved, the hesitation in his voice when he wasn't sure how she would react, how he would cleverly change the topic whenever the situation got a little heavy, how he would end up giggling like a kid during tense moments. She knew that the spark she felt with him couldn't be replaced by someone else. No matter how much she tried to invest in other people, it just didn't work out. It left her feeling exhausted and vexed.

Relationships aren't supposed to feel tiring, right? So she always did what she did best, run away from her problems and hoping that it would miraculously solve themselves. "I had to fix stuff with him," Dawn fished out her phone from her pajama pocket and began looking for something. "I realized that after what happened with you and how we broke up, I was scared to get emotionally invested and Ray didn't deserve half hearted endings like that."

"So your plan was to apologize when you couldn't even tell you name properly?''

"Alcohol is a great confidence booster, you know that," Dawn laughed,"Anyways, turns out I passed out and somehow you were there. I guess Ray called you."

"Now imagine this. A friend of yours is drunk and vulnerable and with her ex, an ex about whom you know nothing. How would you feel?"

Terrified. Frustrated because you can't do anything. "I.."

"I am not judging you Dawn," Ash squeezed her arms,"I just didn't know what to do and being helpless doesn't feel good."

"Sorry about that," Dawn wasn't sure where the apology came from but she knew she had to after the amount of stress she caused him. "And thanks for picking me up. I do realize how bad and scandalous that must have looked.''

"I mean even if you did sleep with him willingly, who am I to stop you? On the other hand, if he had taken advantage of you, then-''

Dawn could feel a chill run down her spine,"I don't think he would have but the thought is terrifying."

"I am glad nothing happened. I was frustrated and that got out on you. I was so scared that something might happen to you," Ash let out a breath. "Ah, look at us, discussing stuff calmly without yelling and making a scene."

Dawn couldn't help but laugh,"How are things with your cute nurse?"

"Nothing is happening between her and me,'' Ash crossed his arms,"We are professionals.''

"Hmm?" Dawn wiggled her eyebrows,"So you never had any crushes on the nurses or other doctors."

"Well," Ash paused and Dawn could feel her heart sinking. So he had crushes..? Well obviously he did but... Biting her lower lip to brace herself for what was coming, she got her attention back to what he was describing.

"There was this senior doctor who was strict and firm. Very punctual and spared no mistakes. Although I was terrified of her, I realized I liked her company and we worked well together."

Dawn could feel her heart breaking into pieces. Did they still see each other regularly? If they did, how strong was his feelings for her now? Would this be the reason why they can't be together? "So, did you tell her about your feelings?"

"It was just a fleeting crush and I would have considered it if she wasn't wearing a promise ring, or was it an engagement ring? No idea."

"What happened to professionalism?" She could just hope that he would sense the relief hidden behind that snarky reply.

Ash rubbed the underneath of his nose, a gesture he would subconsciously do when he was embarrassed and Dawn couldn't get enough of how cute that was. "Dawn, nothing happened. We were professionals."

"I think you have a thing for aloof, strict, you know, emotionally unavailable type of girls. I mean you fell for me in school and then there was this doctor, so-"

Dawn could feel the gears turning in his head. Oh, the moment of sweet realisation. He opened his lips, as if to give her a witty reply but then pressed hia lips together, sighing. "I guess. Oh lol. But your know, she wasn't that emotionally unavailable. She was sweet to everyone outside her workplace."

"How do you know that?"

"We were invited to her going away party. She got a job somewhere near her mother's place. We were very surprised on seeing her laugh and have fun with us. It was a nice change, really."

"Oh?" She hummed. She felt his fingers intertwining with hers again and she gave it a squeeze.

Was he waiting for her to say something? Didn't he come here to talk about the feelings? About them? She took in a deep breath and pulled her legs out of the water. Someone would have to start the conversation sooner or later. "Well.. " She bit her lower lip slightly, her eyes wondering from the almost empty plate on her lap to his face and his soft eyes almost made her forget what she was trying to say.

"Hmm?"

Dawn cleared her throat, she really needed to say this and couldn't believe she was going to do it. She could feel her entire body screaming, begging her to run away like always but she knew she couldn't. She just couldn't live without knowing what he wants to say. "What do you... I mean, see, I would love it if we get back together. No pressure or anything on you. Just say what you have to say, be truthful."

"Sure, why not."

"Heh?" She did a double take,"Are you- Wait what? You sure?"

Ash shrugged, giving her a teasing smirk,"Wouldn't hurt to try."

Dawn couldn't believe her ears. She was so nervous for such a nonchalant reply. "Are you trying out the product before being sure? Is that what it is?"

Ash laughed and winked at her,"I already dated you before. I more or less have an idea about what I'm getting into. And as I said before, I don't know if I am in love with you yet, but I think I am halfway there."

"How can you be halfway in love?" Dawn asked, her eyes furrowed,"I swear to god if you are fucking with my head again I will-"

"Dawn, relax," He tucked her hair behind her ears,"I meant that to me you'll always be more than a friend. And being with you feels right, I feel like I can be myself and seeing you with someone else isn't easy. So, maybe I am not sure about us yet but I do wanna try again with you. And we will figure stuff out along the way. Because I don't want to lose you and I don't want to hurt you. I want to be with you but, please don't take it the wrong way, I'm not so sure about how far we can get in the relationship. It's-."

"Oh," She was taken aback by the brutal honesty. She didn't think she would get this far. "I can imagine that. Live in the moment kind of thing?"

"Kind of. But it's more like I do wanna with you but I don't know what the future holds but I would love to explore that unknown with you."

"There were so many buts in the sentence lol, however, you are right. I haven't thought that far in the future yet so lets not stress over that right at the moment," Dawn laughed and kept the empty plate away,"So, I am your girlfriend now?"

Ash gave her a teasing smile,"Yes."

"Good luck with this," She motioned to herself,"I hope you have fun."

"I hope so too," He stretched his arms above his head, letting out a groan,"Which reminds me, you didn't say you love me. You just said that you wanted to get back together."

"Keep teasing me and I'll keep delaying saying that." She straightened her back a little, taking in a deep breath. It was almost as if a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders and a soft fuzzy feeling enveloped her. "I would want to keep us low profile for a while though. You know, because of the aftermath of what happened a few days ago."

"No problem." Ash gave her a thumbs-up,"But you do know that this arrangement excludes telling our bestfriends, right?"

"Obviously. Oh I can't imagine how Lyra would react."

"Exactly! Leaf is going to blow off!"

.

.

Sorry for that long wait for such a short chapter... The last few months were hectic and I kept imagining how to get them together. And I thought that getting back with someone you had a history with is supposed to be awkward. So when Ashxdawnaddicted pointed that out in the reviews, I was like ..yesss...this is exactly what I am trying to portray.

And brace yourself, fluff incoming in the upcoming chapters because I have made my cuties suffer enough. XD

If all goes well, I will finish this story within few months. Then I can finally focus on other stories. I always start a project then forget about it altogether... My bad :(

~darkestlight