Act I:
Young Rusty Spokes woke up. It was too dark for him to see. He assumed he had woken up in the midst of the night, so he stood up to go and switch the light on. However, he suddenly felt something pulling against his leg, keeping him from moving.
"Hey, what the…?" he asked out loud, hearing a metal jangling sound as he moved his leg.
Now slightly worried, he bravely asked, "Hello? Is anyone there?"
"Yes." a familiar voice replied.
"Wait, Lincoln?" Rusty questioned. "What's happening?"
"I don't know. The last thing I remember, I was in my bedroom reading comics, and then I was suddenly here in this dark room."
"Same here." said the voice of Lynn Junior.
"And us!" Lola then followed.
"Wait, how many of us are here?" Rusty then asked.
Just at that point, the lights suddenly switched on. The kids all covered their eyes for a second to allow their vision to adjust after having gotten used to the darkness that surrounded them.
Once he could see properly, Rusty looked around to see that he was in a dirty, grotty, abandoned old bathroom. He briefly glanced over at the door and saw a padlock on it, meaning they were locked inside. Additionally, his leg was in a chain that was connected to a very strong, thick pipe attached to the wall. Lincoln, Lynn, Lola, Ronnie Anne, Benny Stein, and Chandler McCann were all in the room with him.
"What are you guys all doing here?" he then asked.
"That's what I'd like to know!" Chandler bluntly responded.
"Someone must have put us here!" Rusty said.
"You don't say." Lola sarcastically replied.
Rusty then noticed that the others were not chained against the wall like he was.
"Hey, what gives?! How come I'm the only one chained to the wall?"
"I don't know, Rusty. I have no idea why we're here or who's done this to us." Lincoln stated.
"Well, three of you are Luan's siblings, I'm her boyfriend, and Ronnie Anne is her apprentice. Maybe she had something to do with it." Benny then theorised.
"Of course! This has got that dirty little jokester's name written all over it!" Lola angrily claimed.
"Erm, guys…" suddenly muttered another familiar voice, coming from the small shower cubicle in the corner of the room.
Lincoln walked over to the cubicle and pulled the curtain open, confirming that Luan was indeed present in the room with them.
But she was trapped on the ceiling of the shower, held there by some very strong dried glue that covered her entire body. Only her two hands, feet, and her face were showing.
"Woah! Someone managed to get Luan!?" Ronnie Anne blurted out in disbelief.
"Okay, now you guys are scaring me." the usually tough Lynn unashamedly admitted.
"Luan?! What happened?" Lincoln asked her.
"I don't know. I was at home, and then the next thing I know, I…"
"…woke up here." her siblings said in unison with her, knowing what she was about to say.
"Great! So nobody knows how we got here or how we can escape?!" Lola frustratingly shouted out loud.
Luan then looked around and noticed something on the wall on the other side of the room.
"Hey, look over there."
This prompted the kids to look over and see a small camera placed in between the tiles of the wall.
"Somebody's watching us!" Chandler said angrily.
"So, it looks like whoever put us here likes to watch their own twisted little games play out." Lincoln said.
"But if this is a game, how do we play it?" Benny asked everyone.
"Screw this! There's no way I'm hanging around in this dump all day playing games with all you lame-os!" Chandler protested.
"Yeah, the feeling is mutual, buddy." Lynn sassily said back.
"Look, guys! We need to work together if we're going to get out of this! We need to look around for clues." Lincoln told them.
"Well, I can't look for anything! I'm tied to this wall!" Rusty reminded them.
"Eh, don't worry about that. Ol' Lynnsanity will get you out!" Lynn said as she walked over to Rusty, spat into her hands and rubbed them together, and then attempted to physically break the chain with her brute strength.
However, as soon as she touched it…
*BUZZZ*
She was zapped and sent plummeting to the floor.
"Hey! That stupid chain zapped me!"
"Obviously, Rusty being trapped to the wall must be part of the game." Luan said.
"Guys, focus! Lincoln is right! We need to look for something that can help us escape." Ronnie Anne said. "In case you guys didn't notice yet, there's a padlock on that door, so maybe we need to find a key."
The kids then looked around the room to see if they could spot anything… Lincoln then suddenly had a thought.
"Hey, someone check the toilet!"
The toilet was right next to where Lola was standing at that moment. As she folded her arms, she noticed everyone else staring at her.
"Lola, check if there's anything in there." Lincoln said.
"Excuse me?!" Lola sarcastically replied, disgusted by the mere thought of doing so.
"Put your hand in there and see if you can find anything." Benny said.
Lola scoffed before following with, "There's no way I'm putting my beautiful hands in that thing!"
Lynn then walked over and did it for her. "Move aside, princess. This is gonna require us to get our hands dirty." Lynn then knelt down and dunked her hand into the brown, dirty toilet water.
Lola struggled to hold in her barf at the sight of her sister filtering through literal human waste, while the other kids, to a lesser extent, also felt a bit queasy at the sight of what Lynn was doing.
"Ugh! You're as bad as Lana!" Lola said beratingly.
"Nope. Nothing in there." Lynn then said as she pulled her hand out. She then opened the lid of the cistern and looked inside. "Heh, guess I should've checked in here first."
She then pulled out a clear, sealed plastic bag and threw it on the floor. Inside the bag was a cassette tape player, a tape to go with it, and a small silver key.
"Somebody play the tape!" Lincoln instructed.
Benny then walked over and grabbed the tape and tape player. He inserted the tape into the device so he could play whatever message was intended for them to hear.
"Ugh! Cassette tapes?! This is the 21st century! What year does this so-called prank wiz live in?" Lola sceptically questioned.
"Hey, some pranksters like a touch of the old and authentic." Ronnie Anne said.
"Exactly." Luan agreed. "And that's good thinking, Ronnie Anne. Remember what I told you in my pranking academy? To beat the best pranksters, you have to learn to think like them."
"Thanks. But I only passed your basic program. I'm still working on graduating from your advanced diploma course. I'm not quite on your level yet." Ronnie Anne then mentioned.
"Eh, don't worry. A girl with your talents will ace it in no time. Besides, you're closer to it than you think." Luan assured her.
"Yeah yeah yeah, will you two shut up!? I don't wanna hear your life stories, jeez!" Chandler berated them.
Benny then pressed the play button and the message started. "Hello, everyone. I want to play a game. Consider this game a test of sorts I am conducting. A test of worthiness. All of you are trapped here in this abandoned house, which is wired with booby traps in every room. To overcome these traps, you must work together as a team and think of your way out of this. Well, all except the little runt, and the so-called prank master and great actor stuck to the wall. And now that you have found the first clue, you can leave this room. Let the games begin. Good luck."
A distressed Rusty then yelled, "WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?!"
"Rusty, calm down!" Lincoln told him. "At least we now have a way out of this grotty old bathroom." he then said as he grabbed the key from inside the bag. "Let's go, everyone."
"Wait, what about me?" Rusty asked.
"Well, the tape said you wouldn't be able to leave. Maybe you're meant to be trapped here as part of the game." Lincoln pointed out.
"Eh, he'd be deadweight, anyway." Chandler harshly claimed.
"Maybe we need to keep going and we'll find out how to free him and Luan along the way." Ronnie Anne guessed.
"Just stay strong, buddy. We'll come back for ya." Lynn assured him.
"Yeah yeah, now can we get going?!" Chandler impatiently prompted them.
Lincoln then walked over to Luan. "Sorry, Luan. You're too high up. We can't reach you. We'll come back for you, too." he promised her.
"Eh, it's cool, Lincoln. This is probably the way the game is supposed to be played, anyway." Luan replied. "Also, I'd recommend taking the tape player with you."
"Why?" Lincoln questioned.
"You never know. You might run into more clues along the way." she wisely pointed out.
"Good idea, thanks." he said.
"Hey, I'm the queen of pranks. If anyone can figure this mystery prankster out, it's me." she then bragged.
"Hey, Lincoln Lame, wrap it up! I ain't got all day!" Chandler told him off.
Benny then unlocked the padlock and opened the door, only to find two handheld transceiver devices lying on the floor outside.
"Hey, what are these for?" Benny asked.
"I think they're so we can communicate with each other." Ronnie Anne said.
"But we're all staying in one group, right?" a confused Lynn questioned.
"Well, maybe we can leave one in here with Rusty and Luan. Maybe that's part of how the game is meant to be played, too." Lincoln deducted.
"Good thinking, bro." Lynn complimented him as she playfully punched his arm.
"Here, take this. Use it to communicate with me as we wander around the house." Lincoln instructed his friend as he gave him one of the devices.
"Got it." Rusty replied.
And with that, the others left Luan and Rusty behind in the bathroom and made their way out into the hallway.
The bathroom was at the end of the hallway, so the only direction the group had to walk in upon leaving it was straight ahead. The hallway was comprised of a very dark brown floor, ceiling, and walls. It had a very creepy and sinister, as well as noticeably unkempt, ambiance. But then again, that was to be expected.
"So, anyone else notice something about that creepy message the prankster left us?" Benny then mentioned.
"Notice what?" Lincoln replied.
"Well, that message spoke a lot about Luan. The guy who recorded it said she was a 'so-called prank master and great actor'. It's as if they had something against her. Maybe a touch of jealousy or something." he reasoned.
"Hey, yeah! I picked up on that, too!" Lynn agreed.
"Typical Luan! She always has to make enemies with her foolhardy antics. Only now WE'RE the ones who are paying for it!" Lola moaned.
"Well, it's just a theory. I don't know if it really means anything." Benny said.
"I don't know, Benny. You might be on to something. After all, every little detail could mean something big in a game like this." Lincoln replied.
Meanwhile, Rusty and Luan were awkwardly left in the bathroom together. After about a minute of weird non-communication between them, Rusty tried to break the ice.
"So, uh, I'd ask how's it hanging, but…" Rusty began to say.
"Ha ha, that's actually a pretty good one." an amused Luan replied, always finding humour in any situation she was in.
"Thanks."
"So, can you hear what they're saying with that thing?" Luan asked about the handheld device Rusty was holding. "I'm too far away to hear from up here."
"Eh, I think they're just trying to figure out who set this whole thing up."
"Oh."
"So, have you got any idea who put us in this place?" he then asked her.
"Hmm, not really."
"Well, you're the big master prankster here, and like the others were just saying, that message seemed to make a big deal about you. Maybe it's a revenge scheme. Is there anyone in particular who might have a grudge against you?" Rusty then asked her to recollect.
"Rusty, like you said, I'm a master prankster. You can rule out Mother Teresa, but then everyone else is fair game." Luan reminded him.
"Oh… then I guess we're not going to be able to figure out who's responsible for all this." Rusty disappointingly reflected.
As he said that, the camera in the room was recording the conversation taking place between him and Luan. The culprit responsible was sitting in a separate room inside the house, watching over the movements of everyone present with a control desk, complete with a large set of monitors. They were sitting in a chair, wearing a cloak. Though their blue jeans and pink shoes were still visible.
"Heh… clueless kid." A feminine voice spoke.
Author's Footnote:
So, after being gone for the best part of a week, I'm back with a brand new story. I will be continuing v2 of TLFH, but I'm going to wait until after I've seen the new "No Time to Spy" movie, which... incidentally enough, comes out today. XD
Well, since I'm uploading this at the time that I am, consider this something you have read as a means of getting yourselves in the mood for the show's new spy movie. Anyway, let me know your thoughts so far. Once I'm done with this, I'll finish the v2 project. Expect chapter 2 of 3 within the next few days at some point.
Also, yeah, some of you can probably guess what this whole plot is based on. XD This is basically a more child-friendly version of that movie franchise. It mainly borrows elements from the first two movies, while allowing for a seemingly random assortment of characters (both some of the members of the main family as well as a few side characters) to star in the story together. I have frequently voiced the view that if the show is going to balance episodes focusing on the main family with that of other groups of side characters, then perhaps it would be advantageous to maybe do more episodes where both Loud family members and supporting cast members star together and get to interact (for instance, more episodes where members of Lincoln's friend group interact with the Loud sisters could lead to some good storytelling that prevents anybody from getting the shaft focally). This story is just me putting that method of writing into practice and setting an example. XD