Summary: Leah learns to process things. Sue and the pack-members tell the Council of Elders and they all make a decision. Carlisle and Esme come face to face with their former witnesses against the Volturi for since the beginning of the New Year.
"Sometimes the hardest decisions are only meant to be made because a better purpose is waiting. Closing one door to walk through another doesn't mean goodbye. It means believing in yourself and intuition to create your best self in the unknown."
Brittany Burgunder
Leah tore through the woods. The wind whistled, blowing through her fur. Her paws barely touched the ground. As she raced, her thoughts flew past.
"You mentioned that you were all descended from one common ancestor, Taha Aki. He became the first to phase. At some point, this was going to happen, and those girls- those future female Wolves- would look to the most senior female to guide them- to lead them."
She raced faster. The wind shrieked an eerie song.
"…what does Sam know? What does Jacob know? You yourself mentioned you were pretty much an outcast, unwanted and pitied upon by the members of the packs."
Leah drew a sharp turn and ran up a cliff.
As she scrambled, her thoughts raced back.
"…I suspect that this may also be due to the fact that none of them are comfortable because they are not merely used to the presence of a female, much less someone with a personal and sad history with their commanding leader, their Alpha. Let's be honest here, even if you didn't know about the relation between you and Sam- would you have wanted him to imprint on you? Or you to him? Do you truly want to imprint on someone else, after seeing what happened, what it cost you?"
Leah scrambled harder. Her breath coming to pants as rocks and bits of dirt fell beneath her padded feet. Yet Leah barely noticed, so desperate was she to get away, to complete her climb, so turbulent with her thoughts that her mind flew back.
"What do any of those boys in the pack truly know what it is like to be an outsider? To be different? To feel like you have no one?"
Leah pushed and scrambled harder. Bits of rocks and pebbles lay strewn in her wake. She managed to climb upwards.
"Perhaps Taha Aki chose you for a reason: because you're stronger. Unlike all the others, you've had to go through all this: the loss of your first love, the loss of someone who was your sister, the loss of your father, the change of your own body, the loss of not just your privacy but your dignity. The loss of your status within the society, being an outsider, the lone-wolf, despite the fact that you were in a pack..."
Leah let out an involuntary whine.
"The other Wolves don't have that. They don't know that. Not even the other packs who've had not just females, but female Alphas. You of all people, know what it's like to be an outsider. To be an outcast. To be shunned and unwanted. Mocked and pitied."
Leah whimpered.
"Who better to your guiding ancestor to protect them? To look out for them? To be there for them, as a queen, as a mother? As a Luna? To lead them?"
Her breath came out in little pants, like gasps.
"Maybe that's what your ancestor is thinking. Maybe he's testing and watching you. He's just waiting for you to be ready so that when his other daughters come to join the hunt, you will be there to guide them. To lead them as they run out for the chase."
Leah made it. She scrambled onto and over the edge, panting.
Her heart pounded. She could barely hear it over the roaring in her ears.
"It's do or die, Leah." Gabrielle's voice echoed through her brain. "As a werewolf, a Loup-Garou, you either run, you swim, you leap and you hunt. Or you lose your way in the dark and never get found. Not by anybody. Fairytales do not exist; there is no knight in shining armour. There is no Prince Charming who will save you and sweep you off your feet. You are a Loup-Garou, a hereditary werewolf. And you were chosen by Taha Aki to lead his Wolf daughters. To guide them."
Leah padded forwards. She stared up at the horizon.
The full moon had risen, its light dazzling, almost blinding this close. It bathed Leah in silvery-white light. She froze.
"There is no room for hesitation, doubt or fear. And you being strong enough to not go back and fruitlessly long for what you once had, enough to sacrifice looking forwards... you've just proven to everyone, yourself included, that you are not broken, Leah. In fact, you are a leading Alpha. A Luna."
A Luna… A female Alpha.
Leah could barely breathe. Not simply breathless from her climb and long run but from the images and sounds whirling through her mind.
What could this possibly mean? Whose sick idea was this up there?! To make her not only a werewolf, but an Alpha?!
A Luna?
Leah squeezed her eyes shut, feebly trying to stop the incoming tidal wave of memories. The pounding of her heart roared within her.
How? Why?
She put her head between her paws.
Leah? A female Alpha? She'd barely gotten used to the idea that she was now turning into a giant wolf not a regular girl, that her old life was gone, that her father- Leah winced- was dead because of her, that her long-time love's soulmate was her sister- or rather, someone she called her sister- and having to live and work with him in his pack and to be forced to share thoughts and memories... Leah shuddered. And to see everyone naked at various points. She cringed in disgust. She couldn't even afford to react that way because then the others would've looked down on her, would've made fun of her, mocked and taunted her...
More than they already had.
So she had to pretend, adjust to life on the pack...
Leah shook her head, grimacing in disgust and anger. Not at their complete lack of privacy or modesty, but at herself. Was this what Bella is feeling? She wondered. She had seen the looks on Bella's face, the realisation of what she had just done. It had come too late.
Leah sighed, exhaling and allowing the tension to leave her body as she lay on the grass.
Unlike Bella though, she'd never wanted to fit in with the pack. Not truly. She didn't feel like she belonged. She didn't feel she was welcome. And she sure as hell never felt she was a part of a family, the way they claimed.
Maybe it was for a reason. That was what Gabrielle claimed.
The first female to phase... The first Alpha female, a Luna she'd called it... Leah would've never imagined.
All this time, she'd thought- no, feared, that there was something wrong with her. That she had some hormone disorder, an excess of testosterone or something. Maybe she was intersex and she just didn't know it. And even if she wasn't, she feared she was infertile. That the reason Sam never imprinted and neither did anyone else, was because she was infertile. There was no way she could carry and have kids the way she'd dreamed of having someday, much less continue the next generation of Quileute Wolves.
But now Leah wasn't sure she wanted to imprint or be imprinted upon. Not after this. Not after seeing Sam and Jacob- and Quil. Not after seeing what happened to Emily and Nessie.
Though hopefully, Claire was still too young to understand.
Well, now she knew the reasons why, Leah thought grimly. She wasn't just a werewolf, the first female of the Quileute pack. She was apparently a Luna, a female Alpha! Whose great idea was that?!
Taha Aki's messing with me. Leah thought sourly.
He sure loved messing with their lives without even so much as explaining to them or giving them a hint. Showing them... why the hell did Mom never tell her she and Sam were related, anyway?! Leah would have appreciated it before she started going out with Sam. It would've saved her a lot of pain and disgust.
Both of which she'd felt even before she'd discovered their shared relations.
Because that was the truth of it: Leah wished she'd never met or started dating Sam. She wished she'd never felt anything for him, that she'd never admired him, that it was never mutual, that he'd never approached her, that she never agreed to go out with him in the first place, much less everything that came after! She'd been wishing all that ever since she'd heard about Sam and Emily, before she even phased and found out the truth.
Long before her dad died and her family started fraying itself at the seams. Before Emily could be scarred and started dating her boyfriend.
Because that was the truth of it. Being apart from Sam and his pack helped. Being Jacob's second, his Beta, also helped. The upgrade gave Leah some much-needed space and more respect than what she'd felt among Sam's Wolves- and in Emily's house. Because she was there because of pity- and guilt. And duty. That was the reason why they made space for her in the pack, as reluctant as they were. And she stayed because of Seth and her dad. Not for Sam, not for Emily, not for the rest of the whole damned parade! But because she sure as hell didn't trust to leave her baby brother with those metaphorical animals (not just physical) and because otherwise... her dad would've died for nothing.
And she couldn't do that; she couldn't let it all be for nothing and leave her sweet, innocent, good-hearted brother behind. Even if she wanted to leave which she did, like Rachel and Rebecca. But she couldn't. Even if he'd wanted her to. She couldn't let him end up like Jacob. Bitter and mistrustful. With a whole lot of issues, Leah suspected. Abandonment issues. It would certainly explain a lot.
And if her dad had to die for a reason- because of her- Leah swallowed. Then it had better mean something. It had better be for a good reason.
But she couldn't even mourn. Leah closed her eyes. A tear rolled out from under her eyelid.
She couldn't mourn her father. She'd never had time. She jumped straight into the pack- telepathy and all. She couldn't mourn the loss of her life, what she once had and what she dreamed she would someday have. She couldn't even mourn the loss, the changes made to her own body. She couldn't mourn the loss of her best friend and sister, anymore than she could mourn the loss of her boyfriend. Because now both were dead to her: they were as good as dead.
And she didn't even have the time to grieve and process things properly. To say goodbye. To have some peace and learn to let go.
No, she just had to jump straight into the Wolf thing. And then BAM! Suddenly, she had no privacy, anymore than Sam did. Or anyone else. And all the private little details stayed on everybody's mind, they just kept rubbing it to her face, pouring salt into her wounds... her heartbreak...
A low growl sounded from the back of her throat. Leah kept her eyes closed.
It was okay for Jacob, for Jared and Paul and just about everybody else to tell about her, her private life, her details about her dad, her relationship with Sam, her closeness to Emily... To the point where that sparkling red-haired parasite found out! Leah's temper flared. Who the hell did he think he was?! Who the hell did they both think they were? Apparently when Leah gave them a taste of their own medicine, they'd called her a bitch and a shrew. Even Paul, openly, though Sam tackled him down and tore chunks of his fur out. Out of guilt, Leah thought. And pity.
That was all either Sam or Emily felt towards her these days.
Or annoyance. Let's face it, everybody would be glad if she wasn't around any longer. They just couldn't admit it. Not to her face.
Jacob may have his hand held and people looking out for him when he got his heart broken but not Leah. Oh no, Leah was just a shrew. Sam's bitter ex who got into the way of true love and came between soulmates. That was all she was now. To them.
Leah started breathing heavily again. She'd never accepted it. She'd resented their perception of her. But she'd accepted that she'd reacted badly, thinking about Embry's parentage and all kinds of things that made them feel uncomfortable, just to let them get a taste of what it felt like to be her. To be the outcast wit no privacy. No right and no time to mourn.
Leah had always despised Edward Cullen. Recent events had mellowed out her hatred towards the rest of them, although initially she'd blamed them for just about everything: if they hadn't come back, Sam would never have phased, never have imprinted, never have scarred Emily, and the two of them would've never hurt her. She would never have phased, lost control of her own body, and killed her own dad because he had a damned heart attack! The newborns would've never come, Bella would just be Charlie's daughter and maybe she wouldn't have played with Jacob or simply just hurt him. Sam would've gone to college, and so would she. She would have her father, her best friend...
Leah froze.
She didn't think about Sam.
For some reason... when looking back... she couldn't find in herself the feelings of loss, of longing. Of wanting.
She didn't even miss what she had with him. Not anymore. Sam was truly lost to her.
Well, that's one good thing to come out of this.
Leah opened her eyes. The moonlight bathed everything in an ethereal glow.
She sat up. It was truly beautiful, the view. She'd always come here when she needed peace. Especially after she phased and her dad died.
Leah had watched as her mother unloaded to Charlie. He'd been there, and he'd... sort of poured out all his woes about Bella. And she'd pitied him then. At the same time, she'd felt angry that Bella- Bella who'd had everything, a chance at a normal life, a shot at true love, a father who loved her... and she threw them all away like garbage. She'd hated Bella Swan, she admitted that.
Leah felt sorry for Charlie. She could tell he and Mom bonded over Dad's loss. At the same time, Charlie had been there for her. He'd encouraged Mom to reach out to her. That was difficult at first. Leah now understood, thanks to the supernatural scientist lady, that her hormones were chaotic due to the fact that she was a werewolf. She didn't know why she was so moody and why she lashed out. And she'd regretted and wished with all her heart and soul that she hadn't wasted her last weeks with Dad, or even months, having mood-swings.
Mood swings that weren't PMS.
Charlie had seen that. She admitted he'd figured it out. Just listening to him and all his regrets- after that asshole Jacob actually phased in front of Charlie! He knew what had happened with Dad! Leah felt a surge of rage. Yeah, Dad knew about Wolves and he'd been in a worse shape than Charlie, but Charlie didn't know anything; he'd been stressed, anxious for weeks, hardly eating or sleeping, just worrying about his errant, ungrateful, selfish, nihilistic daughter and her corpse-husband catching a disease. And now BAM! He was a grandfather to a vampire-hybrid granddaughter and his best friend's son turned into a giant wolf?
Asshole.
And it was Charlie who'd helped her process things. They'd started talking. He confided in her what had happened, his own feelings of failure and regret as a father, and knew- somehow knew- that Leah felt regret. She'd tried saying he didn't know anything, but Charlie wasn't having it. Somehow, that got them both talking and confiding in each other. Charlie had figured out what Leah hadn't even acknowledged or was just trying to deny: that it wasn't just the heartbreak and humiliation about Sam. Being the unwanted outcast shrew of the pack, and being forced into a life she'd never asked for and losing control over her own body. Losing her dignity. Losing her boyfriend. Losing her sister. And losing her father.
She just never had time to process everything.
And now she'd acknowledged it. There. There it was. She'd admitted it.
Charlie had confided in her about his worries and fears about Renesmee; that she might end up just like Bella, and him and Renée, his ex. And he'd noticed Jacob's interest and while Leah couldn't explain what it was (he'd freak out anyway), she'd promised to keep an eye out for Renesmee, initially just for Charlie. And she and Charlie were among the first to notice the girl was upset. She'd reached out to her, knowing Charlie couldn't and her parents never would. At least not Edward.
Her parents and Billy didn't like Renée for some reason, and the more Leah learned about her- first from Charlie, and then from Bella- the more she despised her.
Yeah. She may have had some mental disorder. But she'd also chosen to be a mother. To be a wife. To not get help and let her kid grow up a child-slave without benefits of any kind. Without a mother or a father. And now her second marriage had failed- and that was again, her own fault.
She should've gotten help years ago. Or at least think of what she was doing to other people before she did them. Unlike Sam and Emily, Bella's mother had no excuse.
Did she think that she was the only one who mattered? The only one whose life was thrown into jeopardy? Charlie had resented her, calling Renée a romantic nuclear bomb, someone who exploded all in with her brilliance, wrecked and destroyed everything, and left everybody in a mess. Leah couldn't disagree. At that time, she'd thought that Bella might've learned more from her mother, but now Leah admitted she felt pity for Bella.
She should've spotted the abuse. She made a terrible mistake, and she swore she would never do that again. She'd been disgusted with Bella's weak, cowardly nature but she'd never thought to ask why. And she was furious with Jacob for the forced kiss incident, but Bella had played with him. Now, Leah was certain that Bella, due to her emotional neglect from her mother and distance from her father, grew up having no one. She didn't know how to react and nobody taught her how to stand up for herself when dealing with boys or how to at least be decent to them. Sam's breakup with her may have felt like flimsy excuses, but as pathetic as the non-explanation was, he'd tried to man up and do the right thing, telling Leah to her face rather than just going behind her back to woo Emily. Bella did not have that courage. She had issues.
And so did Jacob apparently, Leah thought grimly. She still wasn't sure what she was to do, as a new Alpha- a Luna. What, was she supposed to pick a fight with and challenge Jacob? Or Sam? Or was she supposed to wait until the other Quileute girls phased, teach and lead them? Start an all-female pack?
Why her? Why not Rachel? Or Kim? Emily and Claire were mostly Makah and Claire was too young, and so was Renesmee who also didn't have any Quileute blood (though she could claim close ties, not just through Charlie but her great-grand-aunt, Quil's grandma) but there were plenty of Quileute girls around the rez.
Rachel and Rebecca... but they'd left, didn't they? That gave Leah pause along with a stab of pity for Jacob. She thought about him. She knew that the Black twins had left as soon as they knew their brother was old enough and that he would be ready. They'd been wanting to ever since their mom died. It was hard for them to stay and hard for them to come back, much less remain. Rebecca was in Hawaii, but until she'd been imprinted by Paul, Rachel had always tried to avoid coming back.
Was this the root cause for Jacob's issues? Leah wondered. His mother had died- she'd left involuntarily, but Jacob had been too young and too emotionally unready. And then Rachel and Rebecca took off as soon as he could look after the house, himself and his dad, or so they thought. They'd rarely returned. Was this why Jacob was so desperate, so forceful towards Bella? He was afraid of her leaving? And now he was desperate for Renesmee not to do the same? Because he was scared? Anxious? And she'd shown signs of breaking free and going her own way?
Leah felt pity for him. Sam had offered Jacob the position of Alpha, but Jacob had refused. He had broken away and he was the Alpha of his own pack now.
But he still had issues. He still couldn't handle himself. And now came the revelation: there wasn't something wrong with Leah after all, but something right. Even if she'd never chosen it, she was meant to be a Quileute Wolf because someone- up there, probably Taha Aki- wanted her to be a Luna. An Alpha female to guide the rest of them.
Was this the reason she'd turned into a giant Wolf? The reason why she may have gotten together with Sam, but neither Sam nor her ever imprinted on each other? And why any of the others ever imprinted on her?
Well, if they were related and predisposed to expanding the gene pool, especially if they were evolving into their own separate species, it would make sense.
Was that witch-scientist- Gabrielle- right? Was this also the reason why there were no other females in the pack in generations past? Why there was only one, right now? That they'd been merely waiting for her to be ready? Waiting to see which one could take all this the most? Cope with and take on the burden?
Was that what Taha Aki or whoever was in charge wanted her to do? To let go of Sam, of Emily, of everything that she'd had once? Everything that was now lost? Her resentment, her bitterness and misery at being an outcast, and being humiliated, being heartbroken… her guilt at being the cause of her father's premature death… even her fears at having some sort of testosterone excess, a disorder of some kind?
All those times that she'd thought there was something wrong with her. That she must've been cursed. That Taha Aki must've hated her.
In fact, Leah may have gotten it all wrong.
Could Taha Aki… could he have chosen Leah? Was Gabrielle right and Leah was the first female to phase, the first female Wolf of any generation, because there were others waiting for her? To- to lead them? To be their Alpha?
Their Luna?
Their chieftess? Was he truly testing her?
At one point, Leah could've laughed at all the craziness of it all. The idea of it just seemed so absurd. But now…
Now based on everything she had just heard, now that they'd had an actual scientist that could explain to them just about everything that was going on, why things were happening to them… that they were not alone in the world… that there were other Wolves, like them… like her… Females and males… even kids…
They weren't alone. And they were evolving into another species separate from humanity.
Involuntarily, Leah whimpered and lowered her head between her paws. Her breath came out in little pants.
And what did she want with this life? Her relationship, her future with Sam was gone, she could see that now. And she'd since learned she had no choice but to accept it. Her mother's horrifying, disgusting revelation about the truth about her relationship with Sam and Gabrielle and Carlisle Cullen- of all people, a Cold One, not even one of their Elders had been able to make them figure out what she'd been agonising for over two years- pointing out that this may be the reason why… that Leah was not genetically compatible with Sam, not because there was anything wrong with her, that she had some kind of disorder, or that she couldn't have children…
Because apparently she could soon enough...
Earlier...
"I don't have a menstrual cycle," Leah said flatly, once she had taken Gabrielle aside.
Gabrielle absorbed this, face expressionless, which Leah was grateful for because then it would've been even more awkward. But she needed her input.
"I didn't expect you to. You're a Loup-Garou, Leah. Females of their kind don't have menstrual cycles. Humans do, and while some claim that dogs do, this is not the case; simply an oestrus cycle.
"But Loup-Garou females don't menstruate." She confirmed, watching carefully as Leah's eyes widened and her breath left her body in short spurts.
"So I can have kids?"
"It would be completely illogical for the first female of your species not to be. Based on what I've observed and studied of the Appalachian Pack, and Gabriel and Vivian's, you will have a fertile period. You don't seem to be ready yet for some reason, but I suspect that at some point you may have your first heat."
"HEAT?!" Leah took a step back.
"The fertile period of a female Loup-Garou. It comes monthly, same as a human's menstrual cycle. But unlike the menstruation period for humans, which is the time when their bodies are not fertile and are getting rid of the unfertilised egg and the endometrial lining, the heat is when you are decidedly fertile. Forgive me for breaching such sensitive topics, but there really is no other way to put it: if you were to, ahem, have sexual intercourse with a male-" Leah cringed and Gabrielle nodded, understandingly. "-during the period when you are not in heat, then you will certainly not conceive. Only during that fertile period, your heat, would you be able to. In fact, it's a surefire guarantee at conception to do it then."
Leah just stood there, gaping.
"And," she barely managed. "When will this come?"
Gabrielle sighed. "It's hard to say. You're a new species so your patterns may be somewhat different to those of the others. But if you spent most of your life as a regular human… when did you first begin to phase?"
"March, last year." Leah explained, emotionlessly, trying to forget the first time… when her dad had died.
She had never gotten over that guilt, that grief. And she was certain that she never would.
"So my estimation then would probably around your second season as a werewolf." Gabrielle explained. "The second year."
"This year?"
"Yes. It should be this year. Not roughly on the same date and month, but soon enough. It's June now. You should be having it soon, if not this month, then July or after, the second half of the year."
Leah tried to pick her jaw off the ground.
"Perhaps, like the imprinting, it won't trigger itself until it feels that you are emotionally and mentally ready, or that your body is ready to mate. Or if there is an eligible potential mate nearby. Or else…" Gabrielle's face darkened. "Judging by the patterns of the Pull instinct we've observed thus far in the male Quileute Wolves, you might feel pressured, it might even trigger because… of similar cases and reasons like the two Alphas."
Leah swallowed. She didn't want to go crazy and mate with someone because… because her mind… because of something she didn't know like Sam…
Gabrielle's breathtakingly lovely face softened with understanding. "I know. It's worrying. That's why it's imperative that we get some of the other Wolves here. The females can offer you better insight and guidance than me. Although I've studied them a lot, there's still stuff I don't know, that I don't ask to know because it's sacred, taboo even. The heat period is like that. It's an intensely sacred thing for them, but difficult to keep private because… well, you know how with canines when males scent a female's pheromones while they are on heat, they find it difficult to resist?"
Leah's eyes bugged. "You mean…"
"Yes. Exactly like that. In the Appalachians pack, they mentioned- I won't be giving names due to privacy reasons- but this one female, a future Luna, no less, it, ahem, exploded out of her." Leah's jaw crashed to the ground. She was sure her eyes were the size of dinner platters. "The pheromones were so strong that the current Luna had to make sure all the other females herded the rest of the males- the unmated ones- out of the compound while they tried to get things under control. She believed that since she was going to be a Luna, that her first heat was even more intense than the others'. No male, especially the one mated to the female on heat, would be able to resist the pheromones, the lure. They would drive themselves crazy in order to mate with her, even if they haven't felt the Pull or aren't in a stable relationship with each other- if they weren't related to her, that is, and if they had already safely mated and are currently in a stable relationship, then it was safe, they would be able to resist."
When Leah was finally able to speak, she asked, "They… they just…"
"Luckily, there was no one in the compound who was male, unrelated and single at the time." Gabrielle admitted, relieved. "But the pheromones are especially strong towards the female's mate- or potential mate if they haven't decided to commit yet but still felt the Pull. So unless you wish to immediately have a baby- maybe even have more than one child- take care whenever your time of the month comes and you have your heat. Make sure you're nowhere near any male Wolves. Humans are fine, but not Wolves. Not even the ones who have yet to phase but don't know it."
Leah groaned, covering her face with her hands. As if she hadn't had enough shocks for today. She just had to ask.
"What is it like?" She mumbled.
"Accounts differ but females of all species generally get… well, during the first three days, they claim to become irritable, snappish, aggressive, like a terrible case of a human's PMS."
"Great." Leah mumbled. "I forgot about those."
"Actually…" Gabrielle sighed. "In your case it might be worse."
"WORSE?!"
"Loup-Garou are more hormonal than humans," Gabrielle noted softly. "The hormones their brain produces, driven by their innate biological nature and instincts, are more extreme."
Leah moaned. "However, in your species' case it may be particularly concerning," Gabrielle confessed. "Due to the… extremities your species face thanks to their version of the Pull, your imprinting and the… various complications surrounding them, it could be an indication that there may yet be something wrong with your impending heat cycle, some similar factors and complications because, as you now know, your Pull instinct goes on over-drive. So who's to say the similar complications won't happen around your fertility cycle?"
Leah froze. "So what do I do?" She demanded, aghast.
She was near panicking. After over a year of fearing, worrying that she might be infertile that there was something wrong with her…
Gabrielle placed a comforting hand on her arm. "We will find a way. Just… be patient and calm. I cannot stress that it is impossible to overestimate the necessity for calm in these situations. With you and your kind's hormones… if you can be calm, you will be fine."
Leah sighed. "I can try." She groused.
"There is no try, not in this stage," Gabrielle said, sternly. "You are a Wolf: it's do or die. You have to keep calm, otherwise something will trigger. You could involuntarily imprint and go on overdrive like the males, or your heat will be so extreme…" Gabrielle shook her head. "We can't think about that now.
"Just remember, after the first three days, the female Loup-Garou, if un-mated, will be driven by a constant need to mate. It's hormonal and instinctual. And my fear is, judging by how extreme and driven your male counterparts' Pull instinct is, your heat cycle and imprinting might be as well. You don't want to force yourself on any male, Leah, human or Wolf."
Leah shook her head, fervently. "Hell, no. I don't." No way was she losing her mind and going all aggressive over someone, like Jacob.
Or Sam... A part of her whispered. Look at Emily. Look at what he did even during the beginning.
"If you are mated, you and your mate will be unable to resist. So if you have not decided to enter into a committed long-term relationship, much less have a baby, stay apart. As far away as you can. If you've still mated but are opting for birth control because you either don't want or are not ready for a baby just yet, then do the same. It's a struggle, and a more sensitive and private suggestion would be for you to communicate over long distances without actually meeting and relieve your urges that way." Leah's face reddened.
"What, like phone-sex?" She spluttered. Gabrielle nodded. "Those with the undisclosed identities claim that it helps. This will be the receptive stage of your heat. You may feel the need to constantly flirt, make obvious advances, and without inhibitions- please be wary around alcohol, marijuana and tobacco, along with other drugs- you will resort to very open sexual displays." Leah's face might as well have been a traffic stoplight. "The un-mated also claim that masturbating helps relieve things." Gabrielle grimaced sympathetically.
"It all depends on the individual, their control, their comfort levels. The first three days you will likely feel aggressive. The receptive stage is usually one or two days long, and then there will three or four days of a very, well, euphoric but mellow period which some Wolves jokingly refer to as 'the honeymoon period' when you are still biologically motivated to mate frequently but possess better control, seem calmer and no longer attracts the instinct-driven attention of every un-related and un-mated male Wolf." Leah's shoulders sagged.
"So, for five days I'll just have to avoid everyone?" Leah muttered. "And then everything will sort of go back to normal?"
"Usually, yes." Gabrielle said darkly. "But remember, apart from the possible complications with your heat cycle, the first heat is usually pretty intense, and some species indicate that a Luna's heat is even more so." Leah swallowed. "Wait until the other Wolves come to Forks." Gabrielle suggested. She rubbed Leah's arm in assurance. Her violet-blue eyes peered into hers. "Remain calm and be careful. You can do it. I suspect that the other Quileute girls haven't started to phase because you aren't ready yet. You're not mature, considered a grown woman by Loup-Garou standards, until you've started and maintained a regular heat cycle and you're mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready to receive them. To lead and guide them. They're waiting for you, even though they don't know anything yet."
"If we don't make tough decisions today our children are going to have to make much, much tougher decisions tomorrow."
Paul Ryan
Sue's hand twisted nervously on the fabric of her skirt.
She, Gabrielle, her son, Embry and Quil all stood facing Billy and Old Quil, the other two tribal elders.
Billy sighed and covered his face with his hands. Old Quil had his eyes closed.
They'd just spoken on the phone with the members of the Appalachians and Vermont packs. Including both Alphas and Lunas.
Now, as much as Billy and Old Quil had tried to deny it, had wanted to, they found their arguments to be weak. Too weak. And far too lacking.
Unlike the ones they had presented.
Seth broke the silence. "So what now?"
Gabrielle looked at her. "The packs will be coming soon enough. In the end, the choice is yours, but I would have to step in for at least Renesmee's sake- and Claire's and Quil's. You know I have to." She insisted. "Even if none of this is romantic, this is certainly impeding their individual developments, no matter how fast Renesmee is growing. What if some of the non-magicals, including police, start suspecting? Jacob and Quil could be arrested." They both winced. "Charlie is getting more uneasy about Jacob's unexplained closeness to Renesmee and she's not taking it very well. She doesn't have a choice, she's practically a prisoner, and she won't ever see her horizons expand, even when she's old enough. You know that's not fair."
Both men nodded silently. Old Quil still hadn't opened his eyes, but he was forced to accept the facts.
"This can't happen again," Sue interjected, softly.
Billy sighed heavily, and so did Old Quil. Quil's grandfather opened his eyes, they were dark and heavy with sorrow.
"Very well." Old Quil was the one who spoke. "We'll go for it. But the others won't take things very well."
"The others will have no choice to accept it once the packs from Vermont and the Appalachians comes by." Sue pointed out. Seth and Embry nodded.
Quil was grey and shaking, but resolute. Sue's admiration and respect for him grew tenfold. Her heart softened.
Old Quil looked at his grandson and asked softly, "Is this what you want?" He kept his eyes focused on his grandson and namesake.
"It's the right thing to do," Quil said. "For both of us." He took a shuddering breath. "I don't want to deprive Claire of her choices. I don't want to become... like this. I don't want to lose my choices or my head. She'll always be special to me, but she deserves better." Quil squared his shoulders. He opened his eyes and met his aged grandfather's. "So do I. This is what's best for both of us- and for the rest of our packs."
Pride filled Old Quil's gaze. Even Billy was touched.
So was Sue. Oh, Quil, Harry, if only you guys could see this.
Harry would be so proud, she knew. Of both of them: Leah and Seth. And Quil- Quil's father and Old Quil's son- would be as well. He, Harry, Billy and Charlie were as close as could be. And Quil's death had devastated all of them, just as Harry's had.
And Joshua... well, if he really was Embry's father, he's missed out. And he doesn't deserve any of those kids, anyway, or Allison.
His loss. But Sue wished she could have seen him witness this; seen what kind of men his sons were, more than ten times the man that he thought he was, but had never even been.
"Jacob won't be easy to convince," Billy warned. "And neither will Sam. Or Jared. Or Paul."
"No, but they'll have no choice," Sue sighed. "Jacob's imprinting was built on shaky ground. Something's wrong, Billy. We can't just deny it. We can't look away or hope that it'll just go away and everything'll be fine on its own."
Billy pursed his lips. "I won't question Taha Aki's choice," he informed Gabrielle. "I understand why he chose Leah. But are you sure?"
"I'm certain," Gabrielle replied quietly. "The Cullens are staying overnight at Forks, and returning to the Carpathians tomorrow morning. During that time, I took DNA samples from Leah, Seth, Embry and Quil." She looked at Sue. "And Sue. It wasn't anything I wasn't expecting to find. Sue's a carrier of the gene, and I suspect your father might have been." She looked at Seth. "Leah's an Alpha female: a Luna. I'm sure of it. But there are others who have yet to phase. I suspect their innate nature, their instincts... they're waiting for her."
"To do what?"
"To be ready." Gabrielle said resolutely. "She has to accept this role and come into it on her own terms. Not Sam's or Jacob's or even any of you. Not even her mother." She looked at Sue. "Or her brother."
"And you think that someday we won't need the presence of Cold Ones to phase?" Old Quil asked.
Gabrielle nodded. "I'm certain of it. I've studied evolution patterns in all species of all kinds. The presence of Cold Ones, as you call them, are a trigger but not necessary." She paused. "Did your earliest ancestor Taha Aki need them to phase?"
"No, he phased before that." Billy sighed. "The story goes that he simply phased again after retiring but seeing the impact the Cold Ones had on his people, the neighbouring Makahs, and his sons. He lost his oldest sons by the previous two wives and the first one by his third wife, before she gave her life to distract the Cold Woman and save her sons and husband, spilling her own blood to distract her. When she died, her younger sons phased for the first time and attacked. They helped their father defeat the Cold Woman."
Gabrielle's eyes softened. "The Cold Ones triggered his sons. But not Taha Aki himself. You still have him in you- all of you." She looked around the room. "And it's in your population. The women too. When they phase, they'll need Leah. But they need her to be ready first. And to do it on her own terms."
Sue was silent. "She's moved on from Sam," she said quietly. "I didn't think she would, but she's finally let him go." Surprise showed on Billy and Old Quil's faces. But the boys all nodded in unison.
Gabrielle pressed her lips together. "I think it was a matter of her needing to process everything. Grief has five stages they say. Did you ever hear of that?" Sue and Seth nodded. "She never had the time. Not for her father, not for Sam, not for Emily, not for the life she once lived and the one she planned to live. Not even for herself. She was forced to jump straight into pack-life and share thoughts and memories with the others, including her ex."
Everybody winced. "Perhaps it was necessary to be more considerate of her needs before forcing or even simply expecting her to jump into this without even discussing with her first. The pack can wait. It has enough members now, anyway. But everyone needs time."
Again, she had a point. Seth winced. "And she needed someone to reach out." Gabrielle warned them. "They all do. Even Sam and Emily. Fate... Fate gives us an option. Actually, it gives us plenty of choices. The future is not as set in stone as you may think. Sometimes people don't need to be told what to do or where to go: sometimes you have to take a step back and let them find their own way, while knowing when to step in whenever they need you to be there and have their back."
Gabrielle sighed. "If I may suggest?" When they slowly nodded, Gabrielle spoke. "Keep Sam, Jacob and the others distracted. Either you don't phase, or you do but keep them occupied with the incoming visitors. The Appalachians and Vermont packs. No need to explain everything, just claim that you've made contact through me, your species are still evolving and that Leah is merely the first female to phase and therefore, she's going to be different, she'll need their guidance and aid until she can stand on her own. You don't have to tell them that this may have something to do with the imprints. That there may be something wrong. Not yet.
"And set up a... I don't know. An exchange programme of sorts." They looked surprised.
"Ask Leah and the Appalachians and Vermont packs if Leah and some of the pack members can stay with them for a while, and vice versa. You call can learn a lot from each other, and having females around will certainly help Leah. Having the Lunas around will certainly take the burdens off her shoulders a little bit. They can teach her. Reach out to her. Be there for her when and where no one else can. They can understand what she's going through. Vivian, the Luna of the Vermont Pack, certainly does. She lost her father. She lost her home various times. She's also lost her first love." Sue's head shot up and everyone's eyes lit in surprise. "I won't go into any details- those are hers to give out if she chooses- but she's also found acceptance within and for herself. If anybody can understand what Leah is going through, and the immense responsibility she has to undertake soon enough, it's Luna Vivian Gandillon. She can't be left to deal with anything else on her own." Seth fervently nodded. "And the other packs will likely have more answers for you than I do. I'm just a scientist after all. They're the Wolves."
At those words, despite everything, Seth felt a tremour of excitement. So did Embry. And beside him, even Quil's head had popped up. He looked interested. Eager. It was undoubtedly the most difficult thing in the world to give up Claire, what they had and what he once believed they may have had in the future and yet... Quil was doing this because this was the right thing, and because he believed that there was something better out there for both of them. Him and Claire. They'd unlocked the doors to a world of possibilities. They weren't alone in this. They were new, and some things had never happened before, but they were not on their own.
Besides, if things don't work out and Claire was no longer an option for him, Quil... If everything goes well, Quil would someday find happiness with someone else. And so would Claire: she would get to live a life of her own that was free and all hers to make. And so would Nessie.
And Jacob. They just had to worry about him first. And Sam and Emily. Just how were they going to tell them when the time came?
"You just have to take a deep breath, relax and let the game come to you."
A.J Green
Old-World Coven, Carpathians, one day later...
"The trial will be in five days," Gabrielle warned. "I've just had a message from Radu. There are to be three judges, one of them is Lady Laima."
"Who are the other three?" Jasper asked.
"I only know one of the other two: Elijah Mikaelson," Gabrielle murmured, eyes distant. "He's... well, remember the sorceress I told you about? The one who stole some of Lady Laima and the High Elder Markus' DNA to turn her children into a new breed of vampires?"
Rosalie's face twisted as she nodded. "He's one of those children. One of the Originals." Gabrielle informed. "His siblings will also be there for the trial. You need to be careful around them, especially Niklaus. Niklaus, or Klaus as he's more commonly known, is the middle brother. He's... well, he's a bit chaotic. Volatile. He can be seriously dangerous to his enemies, but only if you give him a reason to see you as his enemy." She warned. The Cullens nodded warily.
"Otherwise, he's incredibly charming, cultured and has nice manners. And he does take the rule of Sacred Hospitality- and No Trespassing- quite seriously." She warned.
Rosalie closed her eyes with a groan. "So, Edward's already on his bad side?"
"I did not say that," Gabrielle said mildly. "Besides, he's not one of the judges. Just someone you'll likely bump into once the trial is over. Elijah is fair.
"Once upon a time, a long time ago, the High Council themselves were the judges and the jury. But that... well, that shoved out of the window, much to the High Elder Viktor's fury and dismay. Even his fellow High Elder Amelia agreed with Lady Laima's decision to create a more impartial and fair trial and court, independent of petty politics and all the ambition, back-stabbing and scheming that goes with it. And as I've said, there are no lawyers or prosecutors. Too smooth and too persuasive. So he's going to be cross-examined, the evidence and various testimonies will be examined by the judges with the help of the Truthsayer."
"Maggie." Emmett remembered.
Gabrielle nodded. "That's right. Although I suspect that while some of the judges themselves may be able to detect truth and lies, it's more important to involve her in this case."
"What? Why?"
"Because she's one of yours," Gabrielle pointed. "And we have your former government on trial along with Edward. She has to be involved in this. Also..." Gabrielle sighed. "Apparently members of your species have been speaking with the High Council and other member-species of the Confederation... and Lady Laima."
They stared. "Marcus, Sulpicia and Athenodora among them." Gabrielle warned. "They..." she sighed. "They would like to speak with you, Carlisle and Esme."
"Us?" Carlisle was taken aback. Esme looked bewildered.
Gabrielle nodded. "As soon as you've returned the regent Radu has requested your presence alongside theirs."
"I thought all of the witnesses were to be kept apart."
"Exceptions can be made," Gabrielle said. Her violet-blue eyes were solemn, searching as she gazed into his. "In this case, you will hardly be alone with one another and you will not be able to speak about the upcoming trial. They just want your input as a member of their species."
"What for?"
Gabrielle inclined your head. "Vampire business, apparently. I'm just supposed to be passing on the message. In the meantime, Bella-" she looked at me. "-can get some rest." Her eyes softened. "I'm sure you have a lot to think about."
Bella nodded, mute and numb. "We can arrange for more visits to see Edward later," Gabrielle said. For some reason, Bella's body stiffened and froze.
Gabrielle then waved her wand and a jug appeared out of nowhere. Inside was a fluid of some kind, glowing light purple. "Dreamless Sleep potion."
"Our species can't sleep," Emmett interjected.
"Yes, I was forewarned, but you all need your rest, so I've modified and made a special potion, combined it with doses of blood- dragon's blood- so you will be able to take it."
Rosalie and the others stared wide-eyed at Gabrielle as she asked, "We'll be able to sleep?" She could hardly believe it.
Gabrielle nodded. "I could make potions that do allow dreaming, but for now, I think you have enough on your mind," she said kindly. Bella was grateful. "Once the two of you have returned, you may take a cup each." She told Carlisle and Esme.
Esme looked at Carlisle. The two of them sighed. "Thank you," Carlisle's shoulders sagged. Esme echoed his thanks. Her face was drawn and downcast.
Gabrielle nodded sympathetically.
Everyone mumbled their assent. Gabrielle nodded to Carlisle and Esme. "This way, please." She opened the door and walked out.
Bella stared silently as the others filled their cups and headed off to their shared bedrooms.
"Bella..." Rosalie shook her head. "Try it."
Bella bit her lip and nodded. "You need to rest. So you can think clearly."
Bella wanted to laugh. "Haven't I been sleeping for the past eighteen years before I turned? Did it help?"
Rosalie's lips twitched. "Maybe not. But I think it'll help more if Edward wasn't creeping through your bedroom window."
"He helped me sleep?"
"No, he helped you dream." Rosalie pointed. "Not think." Bella grimaced. She was right. "Sleep. Rest."
She sighed. "Okay." She headed off to her bedroom. She didn't have a lot of nightwear just... lingerie Alice got her for her honeymoon and intimate times with Edward. If she weren't so mentally drained, she would feel embarrassed... and ashamed. For some reason, she'd brought it. Maybe she'd been hoping for conjugal visits?
Perhaps she did. She just couldn't find it in herself to care now, because now, she suddenly realised just how much she missed sleep.
Perhaps she missed a bunch of other things.
Wearily, Bella lifted the cup to her lips. She drank the potion.
It didn't taste like anything, apart from the blood that she'd been given before. She downed it in one gulp.
Instantly, she felt her eyelids getting heavy. The room seemed... warmer. Cosier.
So did the bed. Bella crawled in and pulled the covers over her. It felt comforting, hauntingly familiar echoes in her mind. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep.
Part of her felt she never wanted to wake.
Outside Gabrielle had led the two most senior Cullens through the castle.
"Remember, don't speak to them just yet about the upcoming case. They've already been warned." She told them.
Carlisle and Esme exchanged looks with one another and sighed. "Here we go."
And he was not looking forwards to explaining how they all ended up in this mess- again. Only this time, they'd deliberately endangered everyone because of the bad decisions of his son.
His son whom Carlisle now had to admit, was abusive. He had committed truly criminal acts. Carlisle blamed himself. If he had just been firmer, stronger, if he just hadn't let Edward manipulate him...
He felt Esme's warm (to his touch) hand grasp his and squeeze gently. He looked into her beautiful honey-brown eyes. The same ones she used to have when they first encountered one another. Little would he realise that someday... they would be together. They would be husband and wife and constant companions together. And they would face everything together. Those eyes, he'd noticed, were so different yet so similar to the ones he had seen for decades now. And despite their change of colour, he was always going to be certain that they belonged to her and her alone.
Carlisle smiled back and gently squeezed her hand. Esme nodded, resolutely. She also blamed herself. But they were all to blame. They would face this oncoming storm together. As husband and wife. As a family. Along with their children and granddaughter.