Chapter 258: Oh It's This Again.

"He likely looked a fool. At least his appearance would match the way he felt."

-Unloved Pairings, Eastern Clouds

Moss was amazed at how easy his task turned out to be. After he and Orchis were introduced, all he had to do was ask Vervain a simple question:

-"Did anything interesting happen since we last met?"

-"Oh, you would never believe it..."

Vervain instantly started whining about his various misadventures. With someone finally interested in listening to him, he told every detail. He was, however, careful not to complain about Woundwort: as much as he wanted to, he couldn't risk Orchis, or even Moss, telling the General about these unfortunate words.

All the while, Moss listened silently. This wasn't out of concern for Vervain: as long as the captain was talking, he wasn't guarding. However, Moss' anxiety grew every time he looked at Orchis: the latter seemed to be getting bored and restless, potentially threatening Dandelion's escape.

-"You've been very quiet, sir Moss," he said, cutting off Vervain mid-sentence as the latter was whining about one of Inqwynn's crazy ideas. "Why don't you tell us about Efrafa, and what happened there?"

This was amazing, Moss thought: with Orchis interested in listening, stalling would be so much easier. He started telling the tale of the last few days in Efrafa, and the journey that followed, doing his best to add as many pointless details as he could, so that the story would last longer. Aspen eventually appeared and joined the group; however, with Vervain and Orchis still present, it was still impossible for Moss to talk to him as Campion had suggested.

While Orchis was listening to Moss' story with excitement and anticipation, it was Vervain's turn to get bored; it was a challenge to keep both rabbits interested, Moss thought. It was then that he remembered a specific detail that he had previously forgotten to mention. While this had not been his initial goal when he had volunteered, if he could get an answer to this question, it would be a nice side effect.

-"Before the warren's destruction, there was a murder," he said.

-"You talking about someone who tried to kill Woundwort?" Vervain asked, annoyed. "If so, that was m..."

-"No, I was thinking of another incident, after you left," Moss quickly clarified, before Vervain could get even more angry. "Someone deliberately collapsed one of the burrows, killing two rabbits. I investigated the case, but I was unable to find out who the killer was. The only thing I know for sure is that the killer is dead: with a mystic's help, I was able to prove that the few survivors are innocent. Still, it bothers me that this crime will never be solved."

-"Who were the victims?"

-"One of them was former owsla officer Sainfoin. The other was a doe called Dewdrop."

-"Oooooh." Vervain groaned.

-"You remember them?"

-"I do, mostly Dewdrop. I assume, since she wasn't in your mark, that you don't know all the unfortunate details?"

-"I don't. All I know is that she was a slave, just like many other rabbits in the warren."

-"For one thing, she had a tendency to overstate her abilities. She claimed to be able to dig exceptionally quickly, but when put in the digging squad, she was merely average. She also said that she could run faster than anyone else, and had better hearing than anyone in the owsla, but once again, average. Also, she claimed to have telepathic abilities, and to be able to 'sense' traps; she was never able to successfully demonstrate either ability."

-"Unfortunate," was all Moss could say.

-"Very unfortunate. And there's more. Do you remember Crunch and Munch?"

-"Who?"

-"I'll take that as a 'no'." Vervain rolled his eyes. "They were a pair of guards that were frequently on duty together. Their heads had a weird shape."

This description made Moss remember: Bigwig had brutally shoved them away when escaping with Primrose and Blackavar.

-"Oh, now I remember them. I never knew their names. What about them?"

-"She was in love with both of them, and she wanted to become mates with both of them, a fact that she repeated to anyone willing to listen."

-"Mating with two rabbits at once," Moss repeated. "Unusual, but not illegal, as far as I know."

-"Perhaps not, but she held up silflay with her flirting. THAT was illegal."

-"Surely she was punished for that. Efrafa was usually very strict with misbehaving slaves."

-"Oh, of course she was punished, many times. Reduced silflay, harsher duties, corporal punishment; nothing worked, she kept trying to flirt with officers Crunch and Munch at every opportunity. After a full summer of this, the owsla duo had enough and asked Woundwort to have her transferred to another mark, which he did. We were all hoping that, now that she wasn't seeing them every day at silflay, she would soon forget about them. But all that did was dump the problem onto someone else: she kept telling her new guards how she wished they would be more like Crunch and Munch, and also frequently tried to sneak off to her old mark so she could be with them again. Whenever her two boyfriends went on wide patrol, she spent the entire time anxious, terrified that something would happen to them and she would never see them again. Eventually, I had a brilliant idea: if regular punishments were not working, why not get Crunch and Munch to administer the torture?"

-"Getting beaten up by those she loves?" Orchis grinned. "That must have hurt both physically and emotionally."

-"Yes, and that's why it was so brilliant!" Vervain was proud of himself, but it was with a frown that he continued his tale. "Unfortunately, even that didn't work. From that point onward, she kept trying to 'change' them so they would become nicer."

-"Maybe she liked the idea of being assaulted by strong authority figures she cared for," Aspen suggested. "I don't understand it myself, but some rabbits find pleasure in that."

-"Plausible theory," Vervain conceded, "but not her. She clearly wasn't enjoying the torture, and she admitted that she was scared of them, but she still loved them, and always forgave them after they were finished."

-"There's one thing I really don't understand," Moss said. "Why didn't Woundwort order her execution? With none of the lesser punishments working, wouldn't that be the next step?"

-"You see," Vervain explained, "there was one rule she never broke: fleeing. Unlike Blackavar, she never tried to run away from Efrafa. I mean, why would she, with her darlings still in the warren? Anyway, long story short, I think Crunch and Munch eventually got tired of dealing with her, so they killed her. A very permanent solution to all their problems."

Moss considered Vervain's words. The captain was known for his frequent lies, but this tale seemed so outrageous, and he had nothing to gain by making it up, so it was likely true.

-"I suppose that would be a plausible motive for murder. A shame things went that far, though."

-"Why is it a shame?" Vervain once again appeared annoyed. "I contemplated killing her myself a few times." That did not mean much, as Vervain was usually in charge of executions.

-"It sounds like she was unhappy," Moss speculated. "The ones she loved didn't love her back; instead they actively disliked her. She spent her life seeking something that she could never obtain. She probably didn't have any friends either. She wasn't actively malicious when she broke the law, she just didn't know better. If anything, I feel sorry for her."

-"You've gone soft," Vervain said, resorting to insults as he usually did during disagreements with others. "You know who the real victim is here, the one I feel sorry for? Sergeant Sainfoin. He was a decent owsla officer, and he died as collateral damage in the execution of a known troublemaker. He deserved better than that."

-"This is a nice story, Vervain, but I highly doubt Crunch and Munch killed anyone," Kurai suddenly said, hopping over to the group.

Moss was left surprised by Kurai's sudden arrival. He knew this rabbit: the two had been officers in the Efrafan owsla in the past. However, Campion had warned Moss to stay away from him and, as a loyal admirer of the captain, he had obeyed; as a result, the two had rarely interacted. It was unexpected to see him alive, and with the Darkhaveners; Moss had previously assumed that he had died during Efrafa's collapse.

Vervain, meanwhile, seemed greatly annoyed at being contradicted.

-"What makes you think that?" he asked Kurai.

-"No offence to them, but they weren't really all that intelligent," Kurai explained. "I don't recall ever hearing them speak; the only sounds they made were grunts. Even if they disliked Dewdrop, I highly doubt they would have been able to plan a murder, especially something as elaborate as a burrow collapse. Knowing them, they would probably have accidentally buried themselves, rather than the intended victim."

Vervain thought it over; as much as it pained him to admit it, Kurai had a point.

-"Yeah, they were pretty dumb...perhaps it had to do with the shape of their heads. Did you ever notice how their faces were always frozen in that same expression?"

-"Not to mention their unusual names," Kurai said. "Parents make questionable decisions sometimes."

-"It's almost as if their parents recognized their stupidity and expected them to quickly become elil bait." A savage insult on Vervain's part, Moss thought.

-"The fox or weasel crunching their necks and then munching the flesh," Orchis said. "Darkly clever, if I do say so myself."

Moss was left disturbed by the dark turn that the conversation had taken, especially considering the ultimate fate of Crunch and Munch, who had likely perished in the warren's collapse. With Kurai having essentially exonerated them, this also meant that Dewdrop's killer would remain forever unknown. He glanced at the sky; Woundwort's deadline of ni-Frith for the outsiders' surrender was rapidly approaching. Worst of all, Dandelion was still lying on the ground further away, and he had still not tried to run away (this was due to his injury, although Moss was unaware of this).