Episode 4x12, continued

"Wholeheartedness"

After kissing Emma, the first thing Hook wanted to do was explain everything and apologize to his friends. As much as he dreaded telling them the full truth, he would rather get it over with sooner than later.

Emma, on the other hand, wanted to check on Regina to see how she was doing in the wake of Robin Hood's departure. She waved her mother over, and Snow left Regina behind to join their discussion on what to do next.

"I suppose I should thank Belle," Hook reflected. "Only, I don't reckon she wants to see me right now."

"I want to check on her, too," Snow said. "She must be heartbroken."

"She spoke of going to the town line … was she thinking of …" He trailed off, but he did not need to say the word.

Banishment.

It was a terrible fate for anyone, and would be even worse for Rumplestiltskin in the Land Without Magic, since he was so addicted to magical power. But after everything he had done, and everything he had attempted to do over the past few days, it seemed the safest and most just course of action.

"I think that was the idea," Snow said quietly.

Emma, who had not let go of Hook's hand, spoke up. "You two find Belle. I'll talk to Regina and see if Henry can stay with her tonight." She met Hook's eyes and asked, "Will you meet us back at the loft, so we can all catch up?"

He nodded. "Aye. I'll be there."

She hugged him one more time, kissed his cheek, and then headed into the diner.

Snow led Hook out to David's pickup truck, and drove them in the direction of the town line.

"I should probably talk to Princess Aurora as well," Hook mused.

"Aurora? Why?"

"I once helped Cora do to her what the crocodile did to me. I took Aurora's heart and gave it to Cora … all so she could sabotage your plans. It's horrid enough to be in your enemy's power; it's worse when they force you to hurt the people you care about."

"You didn't know how it would feel," Snow argued.

He bowed his head in shame. "But I did. When I first met Cora, she reached into my chest and held my heart. I knew exactly how that torment would feel."

For all her mercy and goodwill, Snow had no way to counter that statement of fact.

"I won't ask you to explain everything until we're with the others," she said after a while. "But is there anything else we should know? Anything Gold wouldn't let you tell us?"

"There is," Hook said at once. "I know what happened to the fairies. Gold forced me to—to trap them inside that bloody hat."

Snow was silent as she absorbed this news. She did not take her eyes off the road, but she spoke to him firmly and addressed him by his real name. "Whatever he made you do, Killian, it was his choice, not yours. You are not to blame for what he made you do."

They found Belle on the side of the road, walking back to town with the Dark One dagger in her hand. Snow parked the truck, and Hook remained in the passenger seat while she got out and hugged Belle, who wept openly.

Hook had never felt so much for Belle as he did now: gratitude for saving his life, admiration for finding the strength to turn against the man she loved, pity for the grief she was now feeling, and guilt for being the cause of her grief. How could he face her in the midst of all that?

After a few minutes of crying and talking in low voices, Snow took Belle's arm and led her to the truck. Hook opened the door and stepped out as they approached. Belle seemed older, somehow, her hair pulled back tightly, her expression sadder, wiser, and more world-weary than he had ever seen it. The bright, stubbornly loyal ingenue he had found locked in Regina's tower was gone. This woman possessed the power to control the Dark One, and had finally taken the initiative to use it.

Before Hook could speak, Belle asked him, "Are you alright?"

He nodded and found his voice, solemn and sincere. "Aye. Thank you, Belle. I owe you my life. I'm sorry it cost you so much."

She shook her head. "No. What I just did—it had to be done. For everyone's sake, not just yours."

Snow spoke up, her tone helpful and deliberately cheerful. "I told her about the fairies, and she said she'll help us figure out a way to free them."

"It's only right," Belle said with a shrug. "I feel at least partly responsible. I'll do whatever I can to make amends for what he's done."

"As will I," Hook said. For the first time, the pirate and the librarian seemed bonded by a common purpose.

Snow took Belle's hand. "Why don't you stay with us tonight? We have another bed now that Elsa is gone."

Belle smiled gratefully. "That would be wonderful. Thank you, Snow."

Hook rode in the back of the truck so Belle could have his seat in the cab. They stopped by the pawnshop so Belle could lock up the dagger and hat in the safe, and retrieve a few personal items. Snow used those few minutes to call David, tell him briefly what had happened, and let him know they had company coming.

"I was already packed for an overnight trip," Belle said ironically as she returned to the vehicle with a leather satchel. "At least now I'm traveling lighter."

David had just put the baby down to sleep when Snow, Hook, and Belle arrived at the apartment. While Snow showed Belle where she could sleep, David approached Hook with a look of sympathy. "Glad to see you're okay. Sounds like you had a close call."

Hook tried to smile, but it turned out more like a grimace. "Indeed." He reached for his flask, but then realized it was empty; he had not refilled it since emptying it at the diner a few hours earlier. "I don't suppose you have anything to drink?"

David seemed to understand, and tossed his head toward the stove and shelves. "Tea and cocoa are heating up, but I have some beer and whiskey too. Want to help?"

They had just finished preparing drinks for everyone when Emma arrived. Hook was sitting at the counter, and she immediately came up next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. "You okay? Heart still working?"

He smiled, feeling lighter now that she was there. "Aye, love." He slipped his arm around her back, and she met him in a brief kiss.

Snow and Belle came back down the stairs. "Is Regina alright?" Snow asked.

Emma nodded. "Yeah. We went out with Henry, and he already has an idea for how to help her find her happy ending, or at least give her something else to think about for a while."

That sounded like a story all its own, but Hook knew the one they really wanted to hear now was his.

"I suppose you all have questions for me," he said, unsure how to ease into it.

"You don't have to answer them all now," Snow said quickly. "You've been through a lot, and we're all tired."

But Hook shook his head. "I've put it off too long already. You all deserve the truth." He glanced at the dining table and chairs. "But you might want to get comfortable. This will take some time."

They took him at his word, carrying their warm drinks and some snacks to the table. Emma stayed close to Hook as the others bustled around them, and pulled her chair beside his as they sat around the table. Then everyone was looking expectantly at him. Emma squeezed his hand, and he squeezed in return, knowing he needed strength for what came next.

It was almost like how they had been after Emma nearly froze to death, only reversed. Now she was the one hovering near Hook, keenly aware of how close she had come to losing him. She clasped his hand as much as she could, hugging or caressing him now and then. He reassured her by pressing her hand against his heart where she could feel it beating.

The story came out haltingly. Hook's gaze was downcast throughout most of it, unable to meet their eyes at the most painful or shameful parts.

He started at the beginning, recounting how he had recognized Gold's falsehood and used it to blackmail him. "I thought I could control him, but he ended up controlling me," he lamented.

Emma looked down at their clasped hands. "Does this have to do with how you suddenly got your hand back from Gold, and then went without it again?"

"Aye. The crocodile made me think it was making me return to my old ways." He was vague about his reasons for wanting his hand back, and instead explained how Gold had manipulated him, playing on his insecurity about his own capacity for good or evil.

Emma turned thoughtful as she listened. "Sounds like he tricked you into the same mind game Elsa and I have been struggling with. We were so afraid that our powers would hurt people, it made us more likely to hurt them. You were so afraid of acting the way you used to, that you ended up doing it anyway. Fear of failure, fear of yourself—they're like a self-fulfilling prophecy."

He told them about the hat, the innocent old man, and his realization that Gold was plotting to take Emma's power the same way.

"I wanted to warn you … I tried leaving a message on that bloody phone, but he got to it first, probably got rid of the message …"

Emma's eyes filled with challenge. She got up and went over to the outlet where her cell phone was charging. "I'm good at recovering things that have been deleted."

Hook immediately stood. "You don't have to—"

But she was already pressing buttons rapidly. Hook waited in suspense, but Emma's face darkened with frustration. She swore, glaring at the phone; then an odd look came over her face as an idea occurred to her. She lifted her free hand hesitantly, then waved it over the device, calling on her magic to undo what Gold had done—which made sense, given that he had probably used magic to do it. Finally, she lifted the phone to her ear and listened to the recording.

In the time she had known Killian Jones, she had heard him sound angry, frustrated, and afraid; but she had never heard his voice as desperate, bleak, and self-loathing as it did in that message.

When it was over, she lowered the device to the counter, looking at him through unshed tears. "Killian …"

"I'm sor—"

Now it was his turn to be cut off. She all but tackled him, throwing her arms around his neck and holding him tightly. He matched the strength of her hug, grateful that she still wanted to hold him that close, and reminded of how narrowly she had escaped her own destruction.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured, her lips close to his ear.

"You're sorry?" he repeated, incredulous. "For what?"

"For putting you through that when I ran off. And for the fact that you've been carrying all this alone."

His cheek brushed hers as he shook his head. "I should have told you sooner, while I still could."

She pulled back, her hands sliding to his shoulders, her eyes lowering to his chest. "When did he take your heart?"

He nodded to the phone on the counter. "Not long after I made that call."

The two of them returned to the table, and Hook took up his narrative to the others once more. "Gold had left a map in his shop, and I realized where Emma had gone. I … I should have called you lot to tell you what was going on, but I still wanted to fix it myself if I could. I went to the house, but Gold found me before I could find her. He used magic to hold me back …" Hook paused, closing his eyes for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was choked. "… just like when he killed Milah. He would have made me watch her die, and said I would get over Emma the same way, after a few hundred years."

Snow and Belle were horrified. David was seething, and let out several words that shocked the others; they had never heard him use such language or speak so ill of anyone. Emma's eyes burned with a storm of emotions.

"That's why you were so relieved when I didn't do it," she said, understanding at last.

Hook's gaze was bleak. "You would have lost more than your magic. You would have been sucked in too."

Emma leaned over and hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder. He put his arms around her in return. Emma's voice was reflective and full of regret. "Ingrid—the Snow Queen—also tried to warn me before I went. She told me not to trust Rumplestiltskin, that she was trying to protect me … I thought if she didn't want me to do something, that meant that I should … but I guess she was telling the truth. When I talked to him in the mansion, Gold said he wouldn't go in for all the world, and talked about how he always makes wrong decisions … while I always make right ones."

Belle spoke up, her voice an odd blend of bitterness and encouragement. "He's never put anything before power. The fact that you never wanted your power, Emma … that might be what makes you best suited for it."

Emma half-smiled in thanks. Then she lifted her head and asked Hook, "What happened then?"

"That was when he took my heart. He was already looking for a way to rid himself of the dagger while keeping his power. To do that, he needed the heart of someone who had known him before he became the Dark One. And the only one alive who fit that description was me. Once he had my heart, he was happy to use me for other purposes in the meantime."

"Like what?" David asked, unable to keep his apprehension out of his tone.

Hook did not answer right away, and Snow reached across the table to touch his arm in support. Emma also took his hand again. He laced his fingers with hers and pressed her hand against his cheek. He would not have blamed her for pulling away in revulsion after his next words. "I was the one who captured the fairies."

Emma and David stared, dumbfounded. Hook swallowed with difficulty. "I didn't want to, but I did it. I was hiding behind the counter when you came in and saw the wreckage. I—I know an apology isn't enough—"

"It wasn't your fault," Snow insisted, squeezing his arm.

"Don't worry about the fairies," Belle said. "We'll find a way to get them out of the hat."

"What happened next?" Emma pressed. "After we left the diner?"

"First I brought the hat to the crocodile. He was planning to kill me, and the Spell of Shattered Sight was about to take effect. So I did the only thing I could think to do: see you one more time."

Emma stared, finally understanding the full weight of that brief visit. "When you came to the sheriff's station … you were really saying goodbye, for good."

His expression now was almost as sorrowful as it had been then. "It was all I was able to do."

They were both fighting back tears now, Hook remembering and Emma realizing the depth of emotion in that terrible moment that could have been their final one together.

"When the Snow Queen's plan failed, he wanted to get rid of the Arendellians as quickly as possible. I think, somehow, Anna knew about the old man and the hat. That was when he started to control everything I did—feeding me words like an actor on a stage."

"I knew something was up with you," Emma said.

Hook looked at her with genuine curiosity. "How could you tell?"

Emma smiled with a rueful kind of fondness. "Honestly, one of the biggest giveaways was the teacups."

"Teacups?" Hook and Belle echoed in surprise.

"When you celebrate with rum, you just pass your flask around. If you're feeling fancy you might use a shot glass. I've never seen you use a teacup. And that excuse about a bruise made no sense—you hadn't said anything before, and you've had way worse injuries that you didn't give that much thought to." Emma's smile widened, and she leaned over to whisper to Hook, "Plus, that kiss was totally lame—nowhere near your usual standard."

He snickered, ducking his head to avoid her parents' questioning looks.

"I guess we were lucky that Anna stopped to ask about Gold," David said. "When she heard that he was Rumplestiltskin, she was horrified. We realized he'd been lying all along about not knowing her."

Belle spoke up sorrowfully. "He had told me that we were going to travel the world. While I was packing, I came across something in the shop, a gauntlet that reveals the thing a person loves most. It led me to the real dagger." She looked at Hook. "You were right, that day on your ship. You warned me about him. I said that his heart was true, and yours was rotten. But I was wrong about both of you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

Hook had never been so disappointed about being proven right. "He fooled everyone … and I aided him by keeping his secret."

"But you were trying to change, to be better," Emma said. "He was only pretending to be."

"He wasn't conflicted about it at all," Belle said grimly. "When I confronted him just now, all he did was try to make excuses, saying we could have it all. He didn't care whether his actions were right or wrong. But you've shown that you're sorry for the wrong you've done. That difference means everything."

"He wanted you to believe you were still a villain," Emma said with finality. "But clearly, you're not."

Hook looked around at the four of them, amazed by their insistence that he was not to blame. "You really aren't angry with me?"

He was answered with an overlapping chorus of "Not at all!" and "Of course not!" They were almost indignant at the idea.

"We're not angry with you," Emma said. "We're angry at him. And maybe ourselves," she admitted. "I'm angry at myself for trusting him, for thinking he had my interests at heart. We never liked each other, but we're family. I thought that meant at least a little to him."

"We all wanted to believe that he wasn't a problem anymore," David said heavily.

Belle reached out and touched Hook's arm. "You were wrong not to tell me what you knew," she acknowledged. "But I forgive you."

Hook had never felt so humbled. He was not sure anyone had ever said those words to him before. "Thank you."

With the story finished, and nothing else of urgency to talk about, Snow stood and started to collect the empty mugs. "We should all get some sleep. Killian, are you staying here tonight?"

Her casual tone surprised him as much as the question itself. "That's kind of you, milady, but I don't want to impose. You're hosting Belle, after all. I'm sure she needs more comforting than I do."

"Well, you're welcome here if you'd like."

David and Belle also got up from the table, leaving Emma and Hook alone at last. When their eyes met, they could not help smiling despite their sorrow and exhaustion.

"I would invite you back to my lodgings," Hook said quietly, "but I don't suppose your parents would be keen on that."

Her eyebrows shot up, but then she gave him a mischievous smile. "I don't need their permission. Besides, what kind of friends would we be if we left you alone after a near-death experience?"

He stared at her with surprise, and hope—like something had just been offered that he had given up on ever having. "Would you want to?"

"Stay with you, at your place, overnight?" Emma paused, deliberating, or at least pretending to. Then she nodded with certainty. "Yes, I would."

Despite the thrill he felt inside, Hook still hesitated. "I'm not sure I'll be the most pleasant company." He smiled wryly. "I suppose this is how you felt after Marian came back. It would seem wrong to have a good time after all my mistakes, and knowing how much I need to do to make amends."

She shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking about having a good time. Just making sure you're okay."

He raised a brow at her, a bit of his roguishness returning. "My welfare really matters that much to you?"

"Of course you do." The words surprised them both, and her cheeks colored in embarrassment.

"Well, if you really want to," he murmured, "I'd be honored to have you stay in my humble abode."

"Good," she said, going along with his formal tone. "I do want to, and I'm honored to accept your invitation."

They were both grinning at each other, and might have kissed if her parents and Belle were not ten feet away. "Why don't you go use the bathroom while I tell them?"

Hook nodded, seeing the wisdom in her thinking. "Knock when you're ready to go."

They stood together, and held on to each other's hands as they approached the kitchen area, where Snow and David were putting away the dishes. They paused when they saw the strange looks on Emma and Hook's faces. "Is everything alright?" Snow asked.

"Yeah," Emma said, a little too quickly. "We were just talking, and … I'm going to stay with Killian tonight."

"You are?" Snow said, her voice high with surprise. David said nothing, but the dish he had been handling slipped from his hand and clattered into the sink. He muttered something that might have been a curse.

"Yeah," Emma said, her tone reasonable and nonchalant. "He almost died tonight. He shouldn't have to be alone after that. Plus, now that he has his heart back, someone should make sure it's working properly. And since I'm the one who put it back, it should probably be me."

"Emma—" David began, but she cut him off.

"Look, ever since Henry and I came back, Killian has been there for us. But we haven't always been there for him. I want to start making up for that."

Hook was amazed, and deeply touched. David looked between the two of them, torn.

Snow cleared her throat. "Well, um—do you need anything?"

"I'm just going to get some clothes." She nudged Hook. "Why don't you use the restroom while you wait?"

He rolled his eyes, but he ducked out anyway. Once he was safe from any confrontation with her parents, she headed up the stairs to the loft.

Snow and David's eyes met, holding a painful mixture of emotions.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do here," David said finally. "In our land, or this one."

"You don't have to do anything," Snow assured him. "I'll talk to her."

When Emma came down with her overnight bag, Snow pulled her aside and spoke to her in a low voice. "Emma … I know I can't stop you, and honestly, part of me doesn't want to, but … are you sure you're okay to do this? I'm not judging, it's just—you talked about how afraid you were to lose Hook, and tonight you almost did …"

"I know. But that's part of why I need this. And he almost lost me, so I think he needs this too. And we need to figure out our boundaries at some point."

"Okay. I just want whatever you two do … to be done for the right reasons, not because you're scared or guilty or feel like you owe it to each other."

"Thanks, Mom." They hugged each other, and despite the awkwardness of their situation, Emma felt truly grateful to finally have a mother that cared enough to talk to her about these things.

Hook emerged as soon as she knocked on the bathroom door. They only lingered long enough to say goodnight to Belle and the Charmings.

"Come to the library tomorrow afternoon, and we'll get started," Belle told Hook.

To his surprise, Snow gave him a hug, and, holding him by the shoulders, told him, "We're glad you're alright."

"Thank you."

David leaned in to speak quietly with Hook and Emma, his hands resting on his hips. "I'm not going to argue with you two. Just remember, Granny has wolf senses. She can hear everything that goes on in her hotel."

"Thanks for the reminder, Dad." Emma smiled sweetly and kissed his cheek. "See you tomorrow." Then she turned to Hook, who offered her his arm, and they set out into the night together.

Author's Notes

I finally figured out a way to bridge the gap between the diner and manor scenes and a conversation like this without breaking from canon!

While I hate what the show did to Belle and her relationship with Rumple after Season 3, I think she and Hook have one of the best unlikely friendships in the whole show. Plus, they needed some closure before figuring out how to move forward.

Next chapter will have more of Emma and Hook on this night and the following morning, as they have more to talk about. But, the rating will remain Teen!