4th of Midyear

Damn and blast. Courier showed up today. It's a letter today from Auntie Kelda. She and Ma are both ill, probably dying. They want me to come home because my idiot brother has run off or is already dead. It must be bad since Auntie Kelda says to hurry and she never says that. Apparently, the whole sodding village has been hit with some plague. Like I can do anything about that, especially from Helstrom. If a potion won't fix and the priests can't cure it, I don't know what Auntie thinks I'm going to do aside from dig them some graves when I finally get there.

Auntie is afraid if I don't come home, no one will bury them. Most of the village is already dead. They're threatening to haunt me if I don't get them interred properly. I'll have to resign my officer's post in the Jomsbrodirs or be haunted for the rest of my days by two broody, old, unburied hens. We're about to pack up and head Valenwood to do what we do best – prop up some milk drinker and ensure that his flabby ass stays seated on whatever precious chair he fancies as long as he keeps the gold coming. As an officer, I get a share of that gold and this next job was going to be nearly double the normal because we're getting paid to end our contact here. Double damn.

I guess I'll see if I can get a guide that can get me to a port. Hopefully, I can find a ship going somewhere in that direction even though it's the wrong time of year for it. I can probably hire one of these lizards that hangs around the camp as a guide. It is going to be a long, horrible slog through the marshes. I'd almost trade the bugs here for the snow in Skyrim. If I sell my shield I can raise the money for passage.

6th of Midyear

Resigning, temporarily at least, went better than I had thought it might. I can always buy another sword. I still have my Ibarsi knives and my daggers. I'm off to find a guide and get to the coast. Gods help us all... Astri Thorsdottir is going home. The one place I said I'd never go back to. I even shook the dust off my feet the day I left. I still send Ma some money but to go myself... A week ago, I'd have laughed you out of the tavern if you'd told me I'd be doing this.

7th of Midyear

I've hired one of the local lizard named Teeba who says she can get me to the port at Thorn. That's at least going in the right direction. She's got some guar so we'll make good time. Judging by the sun and moons, we'll be in Thorn soon. It's a miserable trek so far. So many sodding bugs. I don't trust Teeba as far as I can throw her. I've caught her looking at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. She'd like to skin all of us and me in particular in one of those Daedra be damned rituals that we put a stop to in Helstrom. I'll be sleeping with my back up against something and weapons handy.

12th of Midyear

Well, I'm in Thorn and Teeba didn't manage to cut my throat at night. Maybe I misjudged her, but I don't think so. I know hate when I see it. Now to see if I can find a ship with passage or see if I have to work on the crew. I don't mind crewing it. I haven't worked like that since Da and Uncle Viggo but I still know how to haul a line and trim a sail. Blast them both for getting themselves killed. That's a big part of why I left. Ma wasn't the same after and Balder went from bad to worthless. I think that Ma finally realized what a lout he'd become when he tried to marry that Forsworn girl. Who lives like that? With all the bloody goat heads for decoration?

14th of Midyear

I have passage on the Northern Hound leaving… well, now. It was a either ship to Blacklight or Wayrest. Not much else but local shore traders for some time. Either way, it's going to be another long hike to get from there back home. Blacklight is probably closer. The captain of the Hound won't go to Skyrim at all. It seems that there's a civil war going on and he wants no part of it. I tried to persuade to him to go on to Windhelm, but he's refused. While I've been gone, it seems that Jarl Hoag died. His son, Ulfric is the Jarl in Windhelm now and is leading the uprising. I don't care Ulfric tap dances naked on the roof of the Kings Palace. I just want to get to somewhere with a stable, so I can get a horse.

6th of Sun's Height

We've been attacked by pirates. May Peyrite bugger all of them give them roaring infection in the bargin. They've stolen my gear – sold most of it. They're keeping the rest of us as galley slaves. Rico tried to put his hands on me. I might only have kitchen utensils now but they're still finding bits of him. Wait until they realize what that stew was. Still, I have a plan. I picked up some herb lore from one of the lizards and I am going to enjoy tossing this bunch of pathetic losers over the side. They're taking on medical supplies and its hard not to smile when I see what's in the box.

18th of Sun's Height

It's been a bit since we loaded up those barrels of salted fish and medical supplies. They're all retching and puking and blaming bad food. They think it was the barrels of fish that they bought at the last village. I heard them talking and these entitled asshats mean to go back and burn it down. Time to dose them again. I won't see those people come to harm over this foolishness. The good news is that they think the water might be tainted so they're sticking to the booze, which they don't share with us lowly types.

23rd of Sun's Height

Well, that's the last of that lot over the side. It's taken a few days for them to die and the end of it was unpleasant. I hate using poison. The screaming, there at the end, was pretty terrible, but Captain Torsten is back in charge of the Northern Hound again. We're headed to Blacklight, much good may it do me now. I have nothing. Those pirates took everything of value from us. Sheogorath take them. They've even stolen my shoes. At least its summer and I can wrap my feet to get over the mountains. Maybe I won't lose too many toes.

25th of Sun's Height

I'm off the ship. Turns out that they don't want someone who knows how to poison people on the ship. No good deed goes unpunished. I killed those sodding pirates before they got the bright idea to sell us to slavers or just stop feeding us and this I the thanks I get. Dumped off at the first port without so much as thank you or a single septim. Still, it's not all bad news. I've run into a Dunmer with a caravan going south. He's looking to someone to tend the animals and in return, I get a place to sleep, food and maybe I can make to Riften in one piece.

28th of Sun's Height

This whole journey seems to be cursed. We're running from bandits. I'm about to abandon these Dunmer to the tender mercies of the bandits. There's a whole group of them that have been hard on our tail for days now. Every time I try to get them moving, they want a rest break or to stop and admire the scenery. I think I'll have better luck on my own. The bandits are after whatever this Hlaalu dolt persists in dragging along. I told him to leave it behind and let them have it. You'd have thought I told him to leave his first-born son. I don't intend to wait to be slaughtered. I'm taking some food and making a run for it. I recognize some of the country around here but I'm still on the wrong side of the border. If I can find a bow and some arrows, I'm taking that too and clearing out. The food and whatever I can scrounge without getting caught will do in lieu of pay.

3rd of Last Seed

At least I think it's the third of Last Seed. Hard to tell, out here in the wilderness. Might be off a day. Still on the wrong side of the border. Ran into a hunter who helped me kill and skin a deer so I can wrap my feet for the crossing. He gave me a rusty old knife and wished me luck. The pass is up ahead. I hope I make it. I'm coming, Auntie Kelda.

4th of Last Seed

I've found the pass. His directions were good and his warnings about it were too. It's a steep climb. I've managed to trap and skin a couple of rabbits with the rusty old knife the hunter gave me. My hands are wrapped now too but it's colder than a snowbear's arse.

5th of Last Seed

Apparently at least one of the gods loves me a tiny bit. I found dead guy with some decent boots and an axe. Not my favorite weapon, but one I can at least use. The rest of his gear was shredded by an animal. Bear, probably so maybe not so much loves me but is toying with me.

I keep thinking I should have told Auntie Kelda to sod off and stayed with the Jomsbrodirs. I'd be half-way to Vardenfell by now. I admit to a new appreciation of our Quartermasters since they always arranged our travel.

6th of Last Seed

I hope I'm still on the right trail. It's awfully high up here. The air is thin and I'm having a hard time moving as fast as I'd like. I had hoped to be over the pass and nearing the border into Skyrim by now. Instead, I'm still climbing. Going is slow. The caves are full of creatures and aren't safe to shelter in so I've had to take whatever rock ledge or tree I can find. Gathering up firewood to get through the night has been another slowdown. I have to stop early and hunt for things to burn to keep warm. At this rate, my journal might end up in the fire so I don't freeze.

10th of Last Seed

Finally. I've reached the top and can start on the descent. At this rate, I'm a week away from crossing the border but at least the worst of the mountains are behind me. I hope that Hlaalu idiot makes to where he's going but he'll probably be admiring some flower when the bandits catch up and slit his throat.

12th of Last Seed

I ran across a small farm today. The woman there let me work clearing up their barn and garden for the next planting in exchange for food and news. I'm sleeping in the barn tonight and moving on early. Something about how her husband looks at me is… creepy.

14th of Last Seed

I was right about her husband. He had some other ideas about how I was to pay for my dinner. I put him off telling him that it would be easier if his wife was out planting. It was good that I was up and gone before he came snooping around. I'm closer to the border than I thought I was. Three maybe four days away on foot.

15th of Last Seed

I tried to cross the border today, but the damn Imperials aren't letting anyone who even remotely looks like a Nord in. Everyone else, including those thrice-damned Thalmor are allowed in but I can't get into my own homeland. I've had enough. I know the some of the old game trails. This isn't the only place to cross over. Once I'm in, I can hitch rides with the farmers to get where I'm going.

18th of Last Seed

Surely all the gods hate me. I'm surprised that I'm still alive. I was jogging down a game trail, minding my own business, trying to get home when someone cold cocked me. It turns out that I walked right into an Imperial ambush. I came to in cart on the way to Helgen. The ambush was for none other than Ulfric Stormcloak himself. Ended up in the same cart with him. Not sure why he was the only one gagged.

I hope that I get to settle up with that snotty Imperial twat Rikke somewhere down the road. She admitted that she knew I wasn't a Stormcloak but still decided to send me to headsman's block anyway. I guess being poor and a Nord is death sentence now, at least where the Empire is concerned. I might not have been a Stormcloak before but now… The Empire tried to murder me and so I intend to do what I can to return the favor. Thanks to my time with the Jomsbrodirs I have some ideas on how to go about that.

If the dragon hadn't attacked, they've killed us all. I had a great view of the dragon attacking while the headsman was trying to get his axe up. They did kill the horse thief. Rikke knew he wasn't a Stormcloak either. I'll be sure to let his family know what really happened to him at Helgen. The dragon didn't kill him. Rikke and Tullius did. That'll mean a side trip to Rorikstead. That's where he said he was from.

Thank the gods I managed to escape that nightmare with Ralof. He's been… kind. His whole family has. Gedur patched me up, gave me the key to her house and fed me until I was ready to pop. It's only a blanket on the floor by the hearth fire but it's safe and it's warm and her husband isn't creepy. Ralof has kept his hands to himself, too. Not that I might have minded a roll in hay with Ralof after that mess at Helgen. Nothing like a good death scare to get the juices flowing.

19th of Last Seed

Gerdur's neighbor, Alvor, is a smith and he's been teaching me. Alvor thinks I need a trade so I can support myself. I have a slightly different idea in mind. Remember me talking about returning the favor to the Empire? Any town controlled by the Imperials is about to be flooded with weapons. I'll make as many as I can and dump them cheap to the local merchants. Provide enough tinder and sooner or later there will be spark that lights it off. Even it just creates chaos, it will suit my purposes.

For an Imperial, Lucan's not so bad. His primary allegiance seems to be his sister then septims and in that order. Lucan is the local the trader, let me trade with him for less political gear. Probably best not to go wandering around in a Stormcloak uniform right now. It was all I could pick up in Helgen when we were running from the dragon. It also still had it's previous owner's blood on it. Not exactly the spit and polish I'd prefer to present. Still, it was better than the rags the pirates left me with, but not by much. I'm not sure that these Stormcloaks will come to much, if they're this under-equipped. The Jomsbrodirs would mop them up in a trice. I won't say that out loud to anyone lest the Empire hear it and think to do it.

Ralof wants me to join up with the Stormcloaks, but I don't know that I want to. What I've seen of their standard issue gear says that they might not be a good long term bet. I'm a no-name here and that suits me, for now. I sure as all the hells don't want to the Imperials either. There isn't enough gold in Tamriel to get me to join up with the group that tried to murder me just for trying to get home to see to Ma and Auntie Kelda. No one here knows much about Astri Thorsdottir of the Jomsbrodirs. Here, I'm just another Nord. I can work with that. It's not always a bad thing to be underestimated.

Damn and blast. Ralof's gone off on some Stormcloak thing but Gerdur saw the dragon. It's flying around here. We're not prepared to face that. She's asked me to take this old plow horse and ride to Whiterun to tell the Jarl while she organizes for a potential evacuation if the big black beast should attack. If I don't make it back, Ralof, you know where to start looking for me.

19th of Last Seed

Jarl Balgruuf wasn't what I expected. I half expected to end up in the dungeon. He seems reasonable and has a Dunmer as his housecarl. Irileth seems to think that anything that bleeds that can be killed. We just need to figure out how to do it properly. I tend to agree with that. Even somethings that don't bleed can be brought down with steel. Some enchanted weapons and armor wouldn't hurt. I guess I'll need to learn how to do that too, since there's no way I can afford the prices that the local merchants are charging.

A thousand blessings on Alvor for teaching me how to forge my own gear. Now I'm kitted out half-decently all for mainly the cost of some time spent hammering away. Alvor even lets me use his forge when he doesn't need it. As long as I don't keep everyone awake hammering, no one seems to mind if I use it after he shuts down in the evening. Which is good, because I'm still learning so it takes me a bit to make even the simplest things.

20th of Last Seed

I ran into a priest of Arkay who promised that he'd see to Auntie Kelda and Ma if they were dead. Balgruuf even paid him to go find out so I don't have to. Why'd he have to go and do that? First Ralof and now Balgruuf. I think I might be starting to like it here. This thing with the dragons… I have to go to High Hrothgar. I don't know what any of this means yet so I'll just try to explain what happened. A dragon attacked one of the watch towers outside Whiterun. Balgruuf sent me with Irileth and some troops to try to fight the thing. We managed to kill it. When we did, I don't really know how to explain it. I absorbed something from it and now I can shout. When I shouted, there was a big rumbly reply and Balgruuf says to go to High Hrothgar. He says I'm Dovakin – dragon born.