Hi all. Thanks for the reviews. I took me a while to see how this next chapter would unfold.
The previous day had been one that Seth prayed he could forget.
It would have been Ruth's birthday, had she beaten her cancer. Every year Seth dreaded its arrival and he found himself in a sour mood. Only Jessica could put a smile on his face.
She knew how hard it was for Seth on this day, she went through the same with Frank's birthday and their anniversary. To cheer Seth up, Jessica decided to make him a blueberry pie. There was a bumper crop this year and the store was full of them. However, she knew enough to left Seth to his own; he needed space and she more than understood those feelings a widow or widower gets.
Sometimes it's better to be alone during these occasions. That may seem cruel but not to Jessica or Seth. The two had been without a mate for quite some time. It wasn't easy, no matter how much time passes. They both felt something for each other, but she didn't want to give up the new life she had…the independence she never thought possible. She knew Seth felt something for her, after that talk they had about her working too much and the whole poisoned apple fiasco. Still she was at a crossroads and felt what they had now was enough.
Seth kept himself extra busy this day. He did rounds at the hospital most of the morning and early afternoon and took as many patients as he could up until supper time.
Mark Benson was his last patient. The fifteen-year-old was due for a checkup. His overbearing mother would, no doubt, talk over her son the whole time. She had been a little overprotective since her divorce and she was trying to do her best, Seth knew that.
Both showed up…Mark looking at the floor and his mom with a perturbed look on her face.
"Come in, you're my last patient today, Mark." This was going to be uncomfortable.
He had the young man take off his shirt. Seth did the usual: blood pressure, eyes, ears, throat, checked the neck, thumped the abdomen, listened to hear and lungs.
"Well, everything looks and sounds good Mark. Your weight and height are on par for your age. How's school?" But before he could answer the boy's mother piped up.
"Go ahead, tell him Mark." The boy just rolled his eyes and stayed silent. Seth chuckled, "What's all this? You can tell me anything…you both can."
That's when Heather Benson pulled out an unlabeled VHS tape from her handbag. Mark just threw his hands up in disgust. "Dr. Hazlitt I found this in Mark's room the other day."
"Okay, what's wrong with that? No doubt some teenaged horror movie with a body count in the hundreds," Seth held the non-descript video.
"Oh, I only wish it was that bad! It's a porno film, doctor. Go ahead Mark, tell him where you got it."
The boy couldn't look Seth in the face and remained silent. That's when Seth took Heather aside and whispered, "Heather Mark's father hasn't been in his life much has he?"
The woman shook her head, No. "I understand what a shock it is to find this stuff. NO mother wants to find videos or magazines in their son's room. However, he is at that age and with only his buddies to talk with…Would it be okay with you if he and I talk privately?"
Heather looked back at her son. She felt bad for him. As a single mom, she didn't know how to handle male puberty. She was almost embarrassed at how she reacted, but it was the shock of it all.
"Sure, I'll just wait outside."
"Good, we won't be too long," Seth smiled and sent her on her way.
After a half an hour, the two came out and Mark looked much happier.
"You've got a fine young man here, Heather. We had a long talk and I told Mark he can come to me whenever he has questions or concerns…you too." Heather smiled.
"Oh and, uh, I'll just keep the film here. No need for it to be floating around the high school."
Mark and Heather seemed more comfortable than when they first arrived, and they left Seth who locked up for the night.
The silence had just hit Seth and he found it necessary to pour himself a scotch. He wasn't very hungry, so he just stayed in the living room. He sat in the chair and just stared. He chastised himself for not doing more for Ruth. The oncologists in Portland said he did all he could, as did they. The couple even went to Dana Farber in Boston but to no avail. He burst into tears, "I'm so sorry Ruthie. I'm sorry for the pain you went through." He poured himself another drink.
Things only got worse as he began to relive other painful memories of his life. The patients he lost before Ruth, the death and destruction of World War 2. He continued to drain the bottle until there was a dram left.
He shifted in his chair and realized he sat on something, the video tape. He pulled it from under his leg and stared at it. "Just what exactly IS on this tape," Seth wondered.
He turned on the tv and VCR and popped it in. The quality was horrible to say the least. Seth had seen a few of these films during the stag parties he went to as a young doctor. However, he was happily married at the time to Ruth…he enjoyed being a husband and he loved her so much that he never thought of anyone else. To him, sex was something between two people who love each other, respect each other and are on the same wavelength. It wasn't casual.
The tape wasn't even on ten minutes before the explicit parts came on. Seth, in his drunken haze, was not surprised but he couldn't take his eyes off the tv. He watched intently as it had been some time since he had any kind of feelings of this nature. He was older but his body responded the same as it would regardless of age. Seth couldn't help himself…even with the alcohol in his system his blood pressure was increasing. He couldn't control himself and then it was over. He threw his glass across the room and watched it shatter into pieces. A combination of sadness and guilt poured over him. He grabbed the remote and shut the tv off in disgust and went upstairs to take a shower.
He was still groggy from the scotch and the shower had made him sleepy. He put on new boxers and a t shirt and fell asleep. It was a fitful one to be sure. He felt like he had cheated on Ruth. The response to the film is something he only experienced with Ruth, at least, after they married. Before that he was a younger man and those releases just happened with anything involving a pretty girl…physical or not.
Seth dreamt of Ruth, her chastising him about his reaction to the film, the way Mark's mom did to her son. "I'm sorry!" He woke up and found himself with tears in his eyes. He wept but soon made his way back to sleep, and the nightmares.
The alarm went off at six on the dot. Seth had a hell of a headache to be sure. He went to the bathroom and took some aspirin. He remembered the glass he broke and put his robe on and went downstairs as gently as he could. He couldn't handle using the vacuum, so he opted for a dustpan and brush.
After that the phone rang and it was Jessica asking for an appointment because her back was causing her a lot of pain. He suggested she come in at ten as he had a few patients to see at the hospital.
He hung up the phone and went to the kitchen to make himself some oatmeal and strong coffee. Then he went upstairs to get dressed since he had a shower the night before. He shaved and brushed his teeth and was out of the house in a shot.
For the most part, Seth recovered quickly from hangovers and with the sun shining all memories of the previous night had disappeared. That is until he came home from dropping Jessica off at her house. "This damn tape has caused enough problems," he said to himself. While Beverly was still in the exam room, Seth grabbed the tape and threw it in the kitchen trash. Now, what was he going to do about Jessica?
Side note: Dana Farber is a wonderful cancer hospital. They took care of my mom for a year and I'll forever be grateful.