I'm working on writing each chapter as if they were an episode. Sorry if some seem lengthier than others. Certain "episodes" simply warrant it. This chapter is essentially the one that made me write this whole story, since it was what I dreamt up a few years ago. Don't kill me.
Thank you for reading.
I hope you enjoy.
It was fairly hard to catch a demon who sought to elude himself from the world. It was especially hard when that demon was actually only half, with human emotions which made him act in a capricious manner. Kagome, Miroku, Shippo and Rin were all concerned for Inuyasha and had set out to form a search party for him during the night. They did not need to come, as they all knew Inuyasha had not gone far since Kirara was able to sniff his scent somewhere close to the village. For some odd reason though, the cat demon could not find his exact whereabouts. He must have found some way to throw off his scent, and this shocked them all since he had never shown this skill before. But then, he had never run off in such a way before either.
Worry churned inside of Kagome. She had underestimated the man's words and their effect on her husband. Since he was in such a state as to leave her behind, when he had come to her for the sole purpose of keeping her safe, it only proved how hurt and confused he really was. She felt so guilty for not seeing it. It was no matter that she had been focused on her work; her husband should have taken precedent. With time, Inuyasha had learned to give no concern for the mutterings of morons. He was able to brush their taunts aside and simply live his life, while accepting himself for who he was, and being proud of it.
He wasn't that same person now, instead letting those words pierce his soul. Of course this happened; he had yet to accept that although he was a half demon, it did not mean he was any less of a person.
She should have known this would occur. Guilt swam with her worry, and it made her stomach ache. She winced and Shippo saw it. He jumped to Kagome, concerned.
"You okay, Kagome?" he said through the piercing rain.
She waved her hand. "I'm fine. Just a little tired."
"We've been searching for Inuyasha without success. Maybe we should turn back."
"Perhaps," she muttered. But she did not wish to leave until she could find him. She wanted so much to say that she was sorry for not understanding what he needed. She wanted to hold him and kiss him, and show him all the ways that proved how much better he was for being himself. He was loved and he was accepted, and most of all, he had no reason to find fault with himself. God, she wondered, how long could a man go through life constantly hearing disparaging words day in and out? It would only take a moment for him to snap and believe it. Did he? If so, she would bombard him with a new set of words; compliments every day, until he became sick of it. Until he believed it.
Miroku stepped forward. "Ay, Kagome. The hour grows late. We should return home. Inuyasha does not wish to be found. Let him be."
"I worry," she told him.
"As do we all. But he is awash with a sense of guilt, and I know he is trying to fight its driving force. Leave him to breathe."
She looked into the wooded path they walked, seeing nothing but shadows, knowing that those who wished to be hidden remained so. How long would Inuyasha stay apart from her? As much as he needed her, she needed him too. Still, she nodded at Miroku, and the group shifted around, silence following after them as they turned back toward home.
He was covered in mud.
When Inuyasha left the village a few hours past, he had run away as if the devil were at his tails. Even though he'd no reason to run, he simply felt the need to exert some energy since he could only feel a wave of guilt attempt to consume him with every second that passed. Dammit all to hell, he left Kagome all alone at home during this demonic storm, while he rushed as far away as he could possibly roam without leaving the village completely.
He had thought to simply sit out the storm under a broad, heavy tree, but instead had fallen into a pit of mud and fought to find his way to the top, struggling with each grunt. Luckily, he managed to catch a grip on a loose vine, and the thing was thick enough to hold him up, as he pulled himself forward. Now covered in mud, and other unmentionables, he simply sat in the middle of a road, letting himself become drenched by the onslaught that came from the heavens.
He deserved it after all, what with how he behaved toward Kagome, and even Miroku. The night was dark, and no human would be able to see what stood five feet before them, yet Inuyasha maintained his gaze toward a shadowy bush, forcing him to not only cleanse himself, but also to cool down. He wouldn't return to Kagome until he did so, because when he did come back, he sought to be clean while asking her forgiveness.
They would talk about what happened. He never was the type to tell people how he felt. Hell, he hadn't done it since his mother died, but Kagome was his wife, and she had every right to try and understand why he acted the way he did. He simply hoped she had enough love for him in her heart to forgive him, bastard that he was.
The water came cool down his skin, washing away dirt and grime. It fell to the ground creating small rivulets along the way. With this, it also mitigated the sorry storm inside of his soul, one which had tormented him for many years. How long he had suffered the scorn of man and demon alike, always finding himself without a home and alone.
He grew up with his mother until she died of old age. As a half demon, he of course lived longer than any human, and once she was gone, the home he once stood in felt hollow and without comfort. The people there also did not seem to regard him very fondly, often leering behind their contemptuous gazes, whispering to one another about the half breed who simply had no place here among men.
He'd left that place without hesitation, seeking a new home for himself, yet finding only a lifestyle of migration and wanderings. For a time, he thought he had grown accustomed to this way of life; moving from one place to another, fending only ever for himself, yet never realizing that this constant state of isolation simply made him withdrawn and lost. That is, until he woke up to find himself married to Kagome. Then everything changed, and suddenly he wasn't alone anymore. Better yet, he had no need to roam around tree to tree, mountain to hut. He was given the opportunity to remain near people; humans and demons who thought nothing of his presence, except that he was someone they knew and cared for.
Damn everything, what the fuck was wrong with him? How could he have acted so rude to Kagome? He remembered the way her skin paled. How her eyes widened with a poignant sadness that mirrored his own. He wished now, cleansed from all foul thoughts, that he could have taken back those words and held her close, because it was only near her, with her, that he felt somehow whole.
He had no reason to be angry with her, nor had he ever a reason to be so in the first place. He was so damned sensitive because of his past, but this time he felt that he could push it aside, if not for him, then for her at least. He could do it. With this in mind, he stood up. His clothes were soaked and he would have to get out of them before he entered his home.
He looked up to the sky and saw small smatterings of twinkling lights. The sky was clearing and the rain was quickly settling. Perhaps he could find a fire and dry himself before heading back. It would do him some good to return there.
He wondered for a moment if she searched for him, but he didn't think anyone could have found him with all the mud he had on. He was sure Kagome was worried for his safety so he set about his task of making a fire with haste. Unfortunately, every scrap of limber was completely sodden, so he instead had to think of another way to dry himself. He shrugged and took off his clothes. He sensed no one nearby so he withdrew his garments. The air breathed along his warm, naked skin, taking with it his anger and sadness, leaving only a sense of purpose; one set on going back to his wife, and fast.
He took each piece of clothing and twisted them until all the water from within was expelled. When he finished with one slab, he placed it on his shoulder, and mounted each piece of cloth this way until all had been dried. Once done, he then put the clothes back on. Though somewhat damp, they were far more suitable to walk with, but his hair, he found, was not. The long white locks were drenched to the ends, so he twisted them too, until he felt that they were well enough to stay loose. But this moment did not come quickly enough. Peeved, he tore a piece of fabric from his shirt, while muttering that he would have to get a damned hair cut one day because his hair was too damned long. He then wrapped his locks in a pony tail, a style he'd once seen Kagome use one time or another.
With a wipe of his hands, he was now ready to head back. The night was moving quickly and he could sense that the sun would come up within perhaps an hour or two. If he ran, he could make it in time to get back home before Kagome awoke.
She loved him, half demon that he was, and he would not waste his moments with her in anger or in pain. She healed him from his headaches, healed him from his melancholy, and now he sought to mend the heart he had hurt. Would she want him to? A half breed could only hope.
Kagome could not sleep, not even if her life depended on it. Inuyasha had yet to return so she was worried about him. Not only that, her stomach was cramping horribly and she wasn't feeling too good. If she were coming on with a cold during this summer, it came at the worst timing. She looked through her medicine cabinet to find something that could provide a reprieve from her pangs, but she found that all of her supplies had nearly been spent on Inuyasha. She would have to restock as soon as possible.
She had a candle on hand and it looked like the wind was abetting. It was truly unsafe to go outside at this time, but she had no choice really. Her stomach was giving her all kinds of discomfort, twisting and sharpening with every breath. Good God, had she eaten something bad? Rin cooked some rice and eggs for her and Kaede while they had worked, but that was all she'd eaten. Rin knew how to cook so nothing would come from that, but then what was it?
Kagome had no time to think this through. She simply wanted to find a way to abate these spasms. Now, if possible. Kaede was close by, so she put on a pair of her geta shoes and hurried to the woman's house. On her way there, a pang struck her midriff and she touched it with a gasp. Thankfully, the pain went away quickly enough and she was able to make it to Kaede without another ache. She searched through the woman's cabinet and found a remedy for stomach pains made from ginger, chamomile and various herbs. She poured a tablespoon of the concoction into a small bowl and drank the liquid briskly. It was bitter and foul but it managed to work fairly quickly, allowing her stomach to mend from its terrible misery.
With a sigh, she sat against the wall, breathing heavily, until fatigue finally gripped her. She looked out the door, seeing only a dark, hazy, blue view of all that was outside. She so wanted to see Inuyasha walk through that door and hold her while she slept. Maybe he would come later in the day, she thought. She would like that very much.
Kagome awoke with a start when she heard Kaede call out to her. Her voice reminded her of those hollow horns people used to yell in to to grab the attention of large crowds. Except that noise was calling out Kagome's name and it sounded urgent. She opened her eyes and found Kaede shaking her. The house was dark and hardly any sunlight touched the sky, yet the woman was up with an intense alacrity which caused Kagome to jump to her feet.
"What's wrong?" she said.
"One of the village men came to tell me that Akihiko is rambling and shouting in the healing hut. We must go."
With a nod, Kagome followed Kaede until they came to the small house which provided shelter for wary and broken travelers like Akihiko. He was the only occupant at the time, yet the way he muttered and snapped sounded like legions of demons from within. His skin was cast in a deathly tint of green with scales moving under his flesh. Kagome began to pray over him in her mind.
"What is happening to him?" she asked Kaede.
Kaede shook her head. "I know not. He speaks a tongue I cannot comprehend. Pray over him," she ordered.
"I am," she said with a wince when a sudden pang pierced her stomach. "But he won't stop shaking. He looks like he's having a seizure. Sh-should I stick a piece of wood on his lips? It'll stop him from choking and-"
"No! Do not touch him."
"But-"
"Step back, Kagome!" Another wave of green passed over his flesh, and suddenly his eyes opened, though it appeared like he could not see a thing. His gaze remained to the ceiling and variant forms of colors whirled within the pupils and irises. He finally spoke in a tongue they could understand, but his words were harsh, filled with curses. White froth began to rise from his throat, covering his lips in a foam of white. The liquid fell from his mouth, onto the wood, and the deck hissed as the wood dissolved in an instant.
Kagome gasped. She had never seen this happen to a man before. It looked as though the demon was trying to possess him whole, but the man was fighting it at every turn. She inched toward him but Kaede pulled her hand out to stop her.
"Stand back," the old woman snapped.
"What can we do?"
Kaede shook her head, pity filling her gaze. Kagome knew what that meant. When demons took control of humans, they did not simply possess them. In a way, they devoured them, becoming one. Hate from both sides were a powerful force that few could stop. Death was the only option.
She wished it did not have to come to this. The man was foul and prejudiced but he did not deserve to die.
"Go back inside," Kaede said. "And get me my bow."
Kagome complied, making a run for the woman's house.
In her haste, she did not feel the liquid seeping down her thighs.
Something was wrong.
Inuyasha felt it as soon as he caught sight of the village gates, those orange and black columns standing tall against the growing sunlight. They looked as though a fire had been set upon them, blazes roaring in the wind. But it was only his eyes playing with him, for with a blink the image fell away, leaving behind only the structures which had been there since before he was born.
Prickles of unease remained, causing the hairs on his skin to stand. He could see village men carrying baskets and grains, acting as though nothing was off with the day. Could they not feel the darkness that settled through the area like a black slime?
He hurried home in a flurry, and ran into Kagome's room. She wasn't there. He searched the living quarters and she wasn't there either, nor was she in his room. He sniffed the air, and caught wind of her scent outside. He dashed there and followed the scent until it led him to the small hut made for ill patrons. Kaede was alone, praying over the possessed bastard. The man was frothing from the mouth, and from the looks of it, that stuff was pretty deadly. It burned through wood as soon as it touched it.
But where was Kagome?
Inuyasha scanned the area for her presence. Immediately, he smelled her inside of Kaede's home and he sighed with relief. Then he ran to Kaede and approached the woman. "What's up with this guy?"
She looked up, holding a prayer bead necklace. "Inuyasha, the man is becoming possessed. I would advise ye to stay away. I am about to use a dangerous amount of power against him. I warn ye to walk back."
He didn't fight her in this, understanding what she meant. Although humans were pretty weak, their religious folk were insanely powerful, causing damage to even one as powerful as he.
"Just tell me where to stop." He moved away from her, and when she felt comfortable with where he was, she nodded her head, then returned to the man.
Akihiko. His name was Akihiko. He could hear Kaede muttering some prayers with his name. Too bad for him that this was happening. Sure, he was a dick, but he was still just a human. He looked to be in a lot of pain, and the guy didn't exactly deserve that, no matter how mean he was to some people.
Inuyasha crossed his arms to his chest and watched Kaede. A pink light soon surrounded her and the man, separating the two from everyone, despite most villagers being asleep. In fact, there weren't any spectators. Kaede managed to speak so quietly, none had awoken.
Suddenly, the man arose. His face was contorted, malice his intent. He growled at Kaede and tried to punch through the barrier. Kaede attempted to speak to the man. "Akihiko, ye must rest."
The man looked at her with fury, red suffusing his orbs. "You think I do not know your intentions?" he growled. More foam oozed from his mouth. Kaede created another barrier, separating herself from the man, and he punched at it wildly. He was too weak to break through, so she was safe, but then he began to spit at the shield. A crack formed, the lines of it stretching like a dark web. He smiled, though one could have contested it was more a baring of teeth than anything else. Inuyasha stepped forward, but Kaede was aware of him and demanded that he stand back.
He grit his teeth. This shit wasn't exactly necassary. He could kill the man easily enough- but then that would release the demon. So what though? He could take the bastard on. In fact, that sounded like a fantastic idea, considering how much more of a dick it made the man.
"Kaede, I can help!" he said.
"'Tis not necassary."
"The bastard's breaking through your barrier!" he cracked, outraged that she would deny his aide.
He saw her grind her teeth and he sucked his teeth. The damned woman was being stubborn! Who knew Kaede had a stubborn bone in her body? She was a sweet kid before, as far as he could remember. He didn't think she'd push herself this hard just to take care of demon.
"Tis my duty!" she said.
Ah. So it was her pride, was it? Inuyasha could understand that. Still the shit wasn't necassary.
Kaede continued to pray, this time louder. Only a few seconds passed before the man's venom broke through Kaede's barrier. This was Inuyasha's chance. He stepped forward, nails unsheathed, and he began to run.
"Inuyasha!"
He froze where he stood, then whirled around to face the voice which called out to him. Kagome stood in front of Kaede's doorway, bow in hand. Her skin was ashen and her face was filled with sweat. Something was wrong. "Move aside!" she ordered.
He did, finding that he could not breathe. A moment later, she let loose an arrow enshrouded in pink and purple. The weapon flew past him, nearly grazing his shirt. It found its target, and rammed into the man, causing him to fall to the ground with a violent roar. Akihiko began to scream. No, it wasn't Akihiko. It was the demon screaming through him, making his voice sound grated and harsh. "Curse you!" he howled while his skin began to bubble. It looked as though the demon sought to escape through the man's pores, but Kagome poised another arrow at the ready, though this one held no light. She shot it at once, piercing his shoulder. He did not howl anymore, instead falling into what looked like a deep and dark slumber.
Kaede grabbed onto her walking stick, but she was too overworked to stand on her own, so Inuyasha rushed over to give her a hand. She thanked him, then said to Kagome who was now approaching, "Why did ye use a sealing arrow?"
Kagome rubbed the back of her neck. "I didn't have the heart to kill him."
"We do not know if he can return from this."
"I know, but maybe we can put him near the Goshinboku tree and perhaps find a way later on." Kagome bit her lip, taking an expedient look at Inuyasha. Her cheeks finally showed some color, and a small, unsure smile greeted him. Even so, it wasn't enough to curb his anxiety. He took a whiff of her scent and smelled something metallic.
Kaede muttered, "Only ye would think such a thing."
She then ordered a few pedestrians to take hold of the man and place him near the sacred tree until he could be cured of his menace. She grimaced while she walked home, but left the couple alone to fend for themselves.
Inuyasha jumped at the opportunity to check up on Kagome. She looked so ill. How could something like this happen over night? "Kagome, we have to talk."
She met his gaze, just for a moment, before she looked somewhere else. He placed his hand over her own, and gasped at the cold he felt there. "Are you okay?"
Her brows knitted to a tight frown. "I don't know. I-"
She was cut off with a gasp when Inuyasha's hold tightened. He knew it pained her somewhat, but he could hardly think straight, as he saw crimson blotches stain her pants. "Inuyasha, you're hurting me."
When he did not reply, she followed his gaze and a shiver raced through her spine. She met his eyes once more, and he knew that the look she gave him would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"Inuyasha?" she said just before her legs gave out and she fell forward.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha cried anxiously as he cradled his wife in his arms.
Her complexion had gone deathly pale, far worst than before, and her body trembled.
"Take me to Kaede," she whimpered.
Without hesitation, he took her to the old woman's home. Fear gripped him, latching onto his stomach, its taste bitter and acrid.
"What's happening to you?" he choked out.
She covered her face into the crook of his shirt and muttered something, her voice broken and thick. He shook his head, knowing that he hadn't heard her correctly. Surely, he misheard.
"What?" he said again.
She could not have said it.
God, no.
"My baby."
It was the worst day of his life.
Yet this moment had to have felt ten times worst for Kagome.
She'd lost the baby. A baby. God, he hadn't even known she was with child. She'd never told him.
When they'd made it to Kaede's home, the old woman was sifting through bottles, probably trying to find an elixir good enough to give her some endurance since the previous ordeal had taken a toll on her. Inuyasha called out to her and the fear in his voice brought her to attention. She gasped in horror at the sight of Kagome and rushed forward.
"What happened?" she demanded.
Inuyasha had no words, all thought lost from him.
Kaede wasted no time. She told him to place Kagome on to a cot and laid her there to rest. But his wife couldn't stay still. Instead, she mumbled words he could not comprehend, whimpering as she turned onto her side and curled into herself.
Inuyasha fell to his knees next to Kagome and brushed her bangs away from her forehead. Her face was clammy even though she was cold. He swallowed thickly, fearing for her life. God, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if she died. He couldn't even fathom it.
Somehow, he found a way to speak, though his words were hoarse, as if they'd clawed themselves past his throat. "T-there's blood."
"Where?"
He nodded toward Kagome's legs. Realization dawned on Kaede, and her eyes began to well with tears. Her lips soon trembled and he thought she would break into a sob. Instead, she shook herself, fighting for control, and gritted her teeth. "I need some cloth," she snapped. "Blankets. Anything ye can find. And please, fetch me a bowl of water."
He nearly refused her, damning himself to hell before parting from Kagome, but he realized that his aide was needed. So he jumped up and searched throughout the house. He mistakenly entered Rin's room and the girl awoke with a cry. He didn't care. "I need your blanket," he told her. "Please. Kagome-" A tremor wracked through him. "Kagome's not well. I need you to stay here. Please."
The girl nodded even though he knew she wanted to know what was wrong. He simply had no time to talk. He managed to find a few blankets and rushed them to Kaede.
He stopped short at the sight of Kagome's legs, raised up in such a way as to give Kaede access to her plight. Blood covered her lower region and he felt like he was on the verge of panic. He dropped the blankets with Kaede and ran out to find a bowl of water. Kaede lived near a spring, so when he found a spare bowl, he filled it to the brim, and was careful not to let it spill.
Before entering the room, he swallowed heavily in an attempt to regain his control, but something inside of him was breaking. Also, a voice saturated with wretched sadness filled his head, nearly making him fall to tears. It cried out for Kagome, and Inuyasha knew it was the voice of his past, aching to hold his woman and make things right. His vision blurred but he advanced forward, promising that voice that Kagome would pull through from this, whatever it was.
She was on the cot, though her eyes were now closed, and she was as still as death. He spilled some water onto the wood as his breath whooshed from his body. He couldn't tell if she was sleeping or-
He shook his head, dispelling the thought. When he came closer, his breath returned in full force when he saw her breathing, small and weak, yet proof that she had not left him.
He knelt beside Kaede and gave her the bowl, but the woman did not take it. Instead, she looked up at him. "I didn't know," she whispered brokenly.
She held up something tiny and fragile within the folds of a soft piece of cloth.
In an instant, his world shattered to pieces.
Sango and Rin came to visit Kagome with tears trapped in their throats. Apologies and heartfelt words sprang forth, but Kagome had no strength in her weak, broken body to say anything, nor had she the will to simply feel. She stared into the ceiling, seeing nothing, yet knowing with every second that passed that she was no longer a mother. She had lost her husband and now she had lost her child. A darkness as heavy as last night's storm encompassed her. Had she the sacred jewel of years past, it would surely have been tainted by the shadow that now engulfed her.
Hours after their visit, she found that she was not alone in the room. Though she could not feel anything except the dreaded cold which now swam through her, she could tell that people were there. Maybe Kaede. Yes, it would make sense for the old woman to be there, as she would know how best to cater to Kagome's needs. But someone else was there.
She hadn't the will to turn her gaze away from the ceiling, its brown, meaningless lines reminding her of the senselessness of this tragedy. How she wished she could simply close her eyes to all the world. Why hadn't the baby thought to take himself with her? It would have kept her from drowning in this blackhole. Would she ever find a way out?
She caught sight of something pale. Someone touched her hand, held it in a soft but inexorable grip. If only that same kind of force held her baby inside of her womb. But nothing could bring it back.
An empty kind of quiet descended, except for the screams Kagome recalled when Kaede had informed her of her loss. They were in her mind, she knew that without fail. Still, she sought a reprieve from those sounds, finding it in the sudden numbness that blanketed over her.
The person's hair brushed against her flesh, causing the very skin to rise in gooseflesh. This would not work. She had to hold onto the blessed emptiness that kept her whole.
Still, her mind wandered. Was it Inuyasha? It couldn't be. He would never have held her in such a way. He wasn't her husband after all. He didn't even love her.
Somehow, she found the strength to finally move. Her body ached everywhere. She heard the person breathe sharply when she fidgeted, but she didn't care. She simply wanted to be free of their hold- to every hold, and lose herself in the darkness which took away all pain and sadness.
It was unbearable. It was all that she craved.
She pulled herself away from him, easing her wrist from his grip. Reluctantly, the half breed let her go.
Good.