Got inspired again! Enjoy :)
Kagome hadn't seen Inuyasha in days, but no matter how much time passed, she could not seem to feel any remorse in keeping him away. She finally learned to suppress all emotion, and lived comfortably within the icy walls she'd built up for herself. Walls erected for the sole purpose of self-preservation.
Inuyasha's presence would surely break it.
She could not allow it.
She lay still now on her bed, thinking of nothing except that the room was quite hot. From the smells that ran throughout the house, salt and spices floating into the air, she assumed that Kaede was cooking up a meal. It took some time, nearly three days after the...the debacle-
She trembled and turned the thought away. Didn't matter. She went three days without eating, and finally experienced hunger pangs instead of the ever-present pain which came from the-
Damn it. She had to stop thinking so much about these things.
"Switch the thought," she muttered.
She had a hunger which could not be quenched, and so, whenever Kaede thought to ask, she told the old woman what she wanted to eat. Kaede provided exceptional sustenance in a timely and economical fashion, while making sure that Kagome's insatiable appetite did not make her gain unnecessary weight. In fact, Kagome lost quite a bit off of her waist, and when she was able to stand, she was shocked by how much. Kaede commented that she looked emaciated, and grouched over the fact that even when she fed Kagome extra, the stuff simply went through her.
"If I were your age, it would have been a joy to lose as much as ye have. 'Tis not welcoming at this time, though. I will feed ye more!"
Kagome did not complain. And within a few more days, she was able to regain a more healthier shape, as well as her complexion. Along with ashen skin, dark shadows once formed under her eyes, making her look almost skeletal. But those circles were gone now. She slept well. It surprised her every morning when she woke, but she managed to sleep properly each night. Perhaps it was because she truly perfected this state she was in; a nothingness which could not be moved.
A quick ruffle from the doorway startled her. She turned to the frame sharply, and saw Kirara standing there, her red eyes wide with curiosity. She allowed a tiny amount of warmth to surface and greeted the demon with affection. The creature could not talk so she had no need to worry about it becoming intrusive.
"Hello, Kirara." Her voice sounded like a croak and she cleared it. Beside her sat a cup of tea, so she took a sip while the demon plopped itself onto her lap. It arched into her elbow and Kagome placed one hand on its back. Kirara immediately began to purr and let out sweet, mewling sounds. "Hi, girl. What are you doing here? Sango must be worried about you."
The demon made a sound which resembled a meow. Kagome smiled. Even though the creature could not speak, it understood whatever was said.
"Are you hungry? I'm starved." The cat shook its head and let loose a spray of water. Kagome sputtered and immediately sat up. "Kirara! That wasn't nice." She meowed again and gave Kagome what could only be described as a goo-goo eyed innocent look. The bounder! "You did that on purpose!"
Kirara said nothing. She jumped off of Kagome's lap and sauntered away. Merely a few seconds passed before Rin came rushing in, her hair gone astray, and her breath heavy.
"What happened? What's wrong?"
Kagome blinked at her, but her lips were sealed.
"I heard you scream."
When no reply was given, Rin rolled her eyes and stepped inside. This was not expected since Kagome's silence usually made all of her friends leave after they realized how absurd it was to try and converse with a wall.
She relaxed on the cot close to Kagome, one which Inuyasha used before she told him to leave. Or rather, when she told Kaede to keep him outside. The girl fiddled with her blue and white kimono, one purchased by Sesshomaru some time ago. It flattered her curves despite airing a conservative appearance that covered nearly all of her skin, neck down. She let it rise above her knees in attempt to find some comfort. It was a little inappropriate for the job she now worked with and it piqued Kagome's interest. What harm would come from asking the girl a question?
Just when she was about to speak, Rin cut in. "Let's go for a swim. It's nice outside and it doesn't seem fit to have you cooped up in this room when the weather is so fine. Let's go."
Kagome made no move to rise. She lay her head down, feigning sleep, and this annoyed Rin. She grabbed onto Kagome's arm and pulled. "Let's go!" she pressed.
Shocked by her action, Kagome could not help but stand. Rin had the strength of a brute and managed to lift Kagome to her feet. Finally, she spoke. "Was that necessary?"
"And so she speaks!" Rin declared.
Kagome clamped her mouth shut, vowing inwardly to never speak again.
"I haven't heard you speak in ages. Kaede told me you could, but I had my doubts." She glared at her and Kagome felt stricken. How could she expect anything from her after what she'd gone through? A crack formed at the center of her barrier. Determined to never let it slip, she hardened herself against the girl and sat back down. But Rin, once again, showed that she was a man in another life, and lifted Kagome from the waist.
"Stand up!" she snapped.
The chick was sixteen and yet she could lift Kagome, who was clearly more than at least fifty kilograms. Who knew she had the strength, and also, what the hell was Sesshomaru doing to her, whenever she went away with him on a short trip, to make her so fit? She would ask these questions some other time. They would plague her again one day. For now, she fought Rin, striving to free herself from her hold, making sure she did not hurt her in the process. She nearly snorted. The girl was a beast; who could hurt her?
"Leave me alone," Kagome grumbled.
"You've been alone long enough. It's time you go outside and get some fresh air. You can walk now. What happened has passed. Let it go."
Fury erupted inside of Kagome, bestowing upon her a deluge of power which allowed her to gain her freedom from Rin's grasp with an iron pull. Rin yelped and nearly fell to the ground face first before she caught herself, and managed to land on her knees. Her head snapped up and the look she shot would have scared her had she any feelings other than what she was forced to feel.
How dare she tell Kagome to let go? As if she could simply erase what happened to her. As if she could live like it never was. Never. Never.
"You're acting ridiculous," Rin opined. Then her eyes softened and Kagome could see the girl attempt to curb the moisture that threatened to fall from their precipice. Kagome turned away, terrified of the sight. "You helped me in my hour of need. I only want to reciprocate the favor."
"It isn't necassary," Kagome replied. To her horror, her voice was hoarse and cracked at the end. Feelings. The wall was cracking once more, proving that she had fallen into a position of hubris when she thought she could hide behind so precarious a barrier. "I need more time alone," she told Rin, nearly begged her.
"How long?" The tears were apparent in her voice; the pain like an arrow to the heart. God, if her friend could make her feel this way, how much worst could Inuyasha make her feel?
She had to get out of here. She had to leave. They were trying to make her break, and she was close, so close to collapsing. She couldn't let that happen; she couldn't mourn her baby. Not yet. Not ever, because the finality of that action would make him go away.
She tried to harden herself again, and an idea sprang up in her head. An idea that quickly turned to longing.
She wanted to go home. There, she would be safe. There, no one would know of her agony. But would it work? Last time it happened was because she yearned to return to Inuyasha. Would this happen again if she willed it ardently enough? She had only to try.
With an almost eerie sense of calm, she straightened her shirt and tidied her hair. Rin continued to watch her, this time with suspicion.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I've decided to take you up on that offer," Kagome replied. "Let's go for a walk. It's time to go home."
In to the well and back to her future.
He was going to kill Miroku. Inuyasha knew exactly where Kagome was heading and he wanted to murder each and every person who thought it was okay for her to take a walk.
God damn them!
He could even smell her scent along the road that lead to the Bone Eater's well, and he ran with a speed which rivaled falcons who soared high above clouds, and dove faster than the eye could see.
The sun was at its highest, centering down on his neck and back. Sweat gleamed from his forehead, but his fury, zeal, and worry steered him onward, until finally, he was near the well. He stopped behind a bush when he heard people walking. He peered through the green shrubbery and found Kagome standing merely ten feet away from it. Rin was close by, keeping watch. Mollified by the girl's presence, his heart nearly slowed. But it could not find its natural cadence, drumming harshly now for the woman who could take his breath away at every turn.
She looked good. Far better than he remembered. It had only been a few days since he last saw her, but she managed to gain some weight as well as color. In fact, if not for the dead and disheartening look to her gaze, he would have thought that she looked more beautiful than ever. She was wearing a white shirt that tightened at the waist, with pants the color of the sky. Heat swelled in his chest and groin, and he nearly groaned with yearning for her. His desire for the woman should have shocked him, but after all this time without her, seeing her, being close to her, was not a matter of feeling, but of belonging.
He wanted her so badly, yet he managed to hold himself from approaching, seeking instead to enjoy her and learn what would come from this visit at the well. He was here, so no matter what she thought to do, she would not go back to the future. He would stop it.
When she approached the black pit, she walked around it, as if taking note of every detail. Her brown eyes rolled over each bank of wood, surveying lines that stretched and fractured. Rin did not seem to think anything of this, yet Inuyasha was poised at the ready for any foolishness from his wife.
Suddenly, an odd gleam came to Kagome's eyes; one that stabbed his heart and made him want to rush toward her, and hold her close until she realized that there would be no place far enough that she could roam where he would not follow. He could have sworn that he saw water accumulate in her gaze, but just as it appeared, it vanished in the next, forming into a mien with a resoluteness that told him exactly what she intended to do.
He almost laughed. She thought she could leave him? He would have none of it. Despite the pain that came from knowing her intent, he pushed past the bushes, far more determined than she could ever think to be, and moved.
As Kagome walked close to the well, she could hardly contain the throbbing anxiety which swelled inside of her. This could work. This could really work. Why not when it had done so before? She prayed inwardly, seeking all the god's aide in letting her find a reprieve from this world.
Rin still had no idea of Kagome's intentions, but this was good. She could easily fool her into thinking that she only wished to look at the well. Despite her telling Rin that she wanted to take a walk home, she later told her that she wanted to go for a more taxing stroll around the village. Rin simply took this statement with gusto and walked beside her, while remaining quiet. At least in this she was able to understand Kagome's desire for silence.
When they made it to the well, Kagome walked around the blocks of wood. She tried to fight it, but memories bombarded her, all of them reminding her of Inuyasha and all that transpired between them. He would not like that she left him. When he found out she ran away, she did not doubt that he would be furious with her. He was already angry that she did not let him see her; could hear him snapping and bellowing from outside Kaede's door whenever he thought to visit. He would try to find her, she was sure of it. But what good would that do since his feelings for her were nothing compared to what they had been before she lost him? Before she lost everything.
She was tired. So tired. She just wanted to forget herself, even if it was only for a moment. Right now, despite everything, her heart was aching with an intensity which nearly shattered her resilience. She had to go. It was the only way she could continue without falling to pieces. She had to be strong and steadfast. Willing her desires into fruition was possible when she set her mind to it. She simply had to think of home. Of grandpa and Sota and mother. They would be happy to see her. They would be a welcoming distraction.
She peered into the blackness and thought of the future. She remembered the skyscrapers of Tokyo, the bustle and hustle of its metro system. She remembered her grandfather's shrine, its green and brown arches, reaching toward heaven. The clinging of the bells. The wind along the slopes, brushing through the shadowing trees. Her cat, Buyo. Her friends from high school. Her family.
Suddenly, an image appeared. Though dim, she could make out the rays of a light touching the ground. No, it was the roof and the suns light was breaking through the crack in the door, revealing long strands of yellow and gold. It was there; her home and future was there, reaching out to her, asking her to return.
A moment later, she climbed onto the ledge. Rin saw this and ran to her with a cry, but it was already too late.
She had already jumped inside.
The woman actually jumped. She jumped into the damned thing like a crazed lunatic.
For the first time in his life, Inuyasha thanked the gods for being a half demon, because he was able to zoom past Rin, and latch onto Kagome's frame before she fell into that well, and out of his life.
Something inside of him cracked, maybe his patience. He thought giving her space would do her some good, but it only led to this. Uh-uh. No way. He was not going to leave this woman alone, and if he had to stalk her every movement, then so be it! He didn't give a damn. How dare she think to betray him in such a way? Sure, he was as stubborn as an ass, but that didn't mean she could run from him. If she thought to move away, then he would meet each step with equal intent.
She remained suspended above the well, while her eyes were closed, but when she realized that she did not move, she opened them and turned to him. He hoped that he looked as furious as he felt, because he wanted to scare her into submission. She was his wife; what the hell was she thinking? When he took her home-and he would, of that he was sure-he would give her a chance to cool down. After that, they would talk, and neither heaven nor hell would be able to stop them from doing so.
She cried out and tried to pry her shirt from his hands. He laughed and said, "Try it and see what happens."
Outraged, she worked into his fingers until he pulled her away from the well and hefted her over his shoulder. Rin stood by, clasping her chest. She gave him a thankful look for Kagome had scared the life out of her. Without another word, he stomped away with an incensed wife in tow.
She wriggled around his shoulder, but his grip was unrelenting. "Keep trying, lady. It ain't gonna happen!"
"Let me go!" she cried. He loved hearing her voice even if it was filled with contempt. In fact, he welcomed it because passion was an emotion and she needed to open up quickly. He could feel how tight her muscles were beneath his hold, and she was near to bursting. When it happened, he intended to be there for every second.
"Not happening, wife."
"Where are you taking me?"
"Kaede's to pick up your things. Once that's done, we're going home."
"Funny you should say that, because I was heading there just now!"
"Haha. Very funny."
Air rushed through her nostrils. "You know I can say the magic words at any time and have you flat on your face, right?" she dared to threaten, referring to his beaded necklace.
She could not see but his entire countenance blackened. "Try and I'll take you with me."
She groused and finally stopped squirming when she realized the futility of her predicament. They made it to Kaede's house minutes later. The old woman saw them approach and her eyes widened with worry when she met Inuyasha at the door. "What is wrong with Kagome?"
"Many things," he retorted.
"She should not be outside! It is unwise of ye to hold her in such a way. She is still on the mend."
He snorted. "The woman was about to run away from us. Should've seen the way she climbed those planks. She's fine."
Kaede stopped short, stared at Kagome's back and paled. "She did what?"
"You heard," he uttered. He set Kagome on her feet and her face was a mask of stone. He didn't let it phase him and instead told her, making sure every bit of fury laced his tongue, "Get your things. I'm giving you five minutes. If you don't come out, I'm going to break down any door you close, any wall you build, and take you home."
She turned around without a word and walked into Kaede's room. He honed in on her actions, but couldn't hear her moving around. She was simply standing at the door, being as stubborn as he, he was sure. He growled, then combed his fingers through his hair when he saw Kaede watching him closely.
"What are you looking at?"
"Ye approach Kagome fairly harshly. Do ye not think ye can be a bit more accommodating?"
"Bah!" he barked. "I'm not the one who ran away."
"Ay, this time."
That stung so he shut his mouth and simply let himself simmer.
"Ye may fail to recall this, but Kagome does not take things well when she is being yelled at."
"I already know that," he muttered. He worked diligently now to place a leash on his ever biting tongue. "I don't know what else to do with her. She tried to leave me." He knew Kaede could see the bitter, soul crushing sadness in his eyes and she looked at him with no small amount of pity.
"Ay, Inuyasha. It pains me as well. But she is a woman hurting from an ordeal ye can never understand. She is down in spirits and her aura is tainted by this tragedy. She must work toward regaining her strength and will to move on. It does not come swiftly."
"Well, she ain't doing it by moping all the damned time."
"'Tis natural for her to do so."
"Shit doesn't work though. When I mope, it makes sure that nothing gets done. It's pointless." A well of sorrow sprang up, a fountain gushing from his gut, and his eyes reddened. "You forget that I lost this baby, too."
Kaede placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he did not move it, accepting the kind gesture for what it was. "'Tis true. But ye only knew of his existence recently. She harbored that knowledge for weeks and now he is gone. Imagine falling in love with someone only to lose them weeks later. Give her time to cope."
Kaede didn't have to tell him about that, because he was feeling it this second with Kagome. His vibrant, loud woman was cold and withdrawn as if she became another person. Didn't she understand? He was losing her.
"That child was my blood," he told her. "Even though I was unaware of his existence, I know it now. He was my family, flesh of my flesh, and I just-" He faltered before he lost control. A plethora of emotions churned its way to his chest, causing him to feel all too much at once. Frustration ate at him and he closed his eyes in an attempt to regain a minutia of his past equilibrium.
I just want Kagome, he thought, desperation for her torturing him now. She's all I want.
Swallowing hard, he spoke again, his voice low and tight. "I don't want Kagome to go through this alone. I need to be with her and I think she needs me, too. She's too hard, Kaede, but I think I can make her break. I want to be there when that happens. Please, don't try to stop me."
Kaede could find no fault in this. Silence reigned, letting in only the sweet songs of birds. It seemed that the world was able to clear out its elements since the baby's passing, because it hadn't rained since. The sun was shining ever so brightly, warming the village with fine weather. Trees flourished, animals grazed. Children laughed and played without worry. It was as if the heavens were saying: Life goes on.
Inuyasha could never tell such a thing to Kagome, but he could possibly show it to her, if only she let him.
With a quick nod, Kaede moved to the side of the hall. Her smile was bittersweet when she said, "Very well, Inuyasha. I believe her time is up."
Inuyasha drew a heavy breath, visibly steeling himself before he entered Kaede's room. Quiet met him there, allowing him to think clearly for the first time in days. He stared at the door, its white fabric revealing his shadow. It covered nearly the entire frame, and was an image he remembered all too well, since it greeted him whenever he sought to visit her. But this time, it was different; no longer a blockade which could not be moved, but a bridge he was meant to cross.
This was it. This was his moment to take back Kagome and prove to her that he was more than competent enough to be her anchor through the storm. He could do it. Everything inside, including the voice he heard on occasion, reinforced his desire to have her with him, while redefining his existence for one purpose alone: that she may be his, and he her's.
He didn't know when it happened, or how she slipped in, but she managed to find a place within the cold confines of his heart. Once, he thought none could surpass those barriers. In fact, he could not have dreamt such a person would ever try to. Yet now he remained, with his soul in her hands, immeasurably thankful she simply had the will to jump.
A moment later, he slid the door open and found Kagome curled up on the cot. It brought into remembrance that fateful day, and he had to stamp out the agony that erupted. He wanted to wait for her to let loose the torrent that threatened to explode so that he could mourn with her. If they could mourn their child, and all that was lost together, then maybe they had a chance to rebuild and make it in this life stronger, as one.
"Kagome?" he said, this time with his voice softened and husky. His anger quickly drained, melting into despondency and remorse.
She chose not to move so he knelt close to her. He took in her scent and it was the most comforting thing he could ever experience. She smelled like cherry blossoms and honey; all that was beautiful. It humored him to think that he had only met her weeks before. He hadn't cared for her, nor had he even liked her. Yet now, her scent, and all the colors it came with, was a medicine that could heal any wound.
He reached out to touch her back and left his arm aloft, afraid that she would recoil from him like the last time. But he pushed away his pride, and simply laid his hand there. She was so damned tight, like a wire just waiting to snap. He moved his fingers along the fabric of her shirt, surprised to find the warmth emitted from beneath.
"Stop," he heard her say suddenly. Her voice came out muffled beneath the pillow she lay on.
"I can't," he told her, hiding nothing of himself. "I want to take you home."
A tremor wracked through her. "I'm not ready."
"I can't leave you here, Kagome."
For a moment, there was a long and hollow silence, and with it came a rush of anxiety for he feared she would never speak again.
Thankfully, the quiet broke with a tentative whisper. "Why?"
The question was loaded and he knew she was asking for too much. He had no answers for her, but he was certain that here was not the appropriate place to seek their replies. They needed to be in a space that was comfortable and significant. He continued to move his hand along her back till he met the curve of her waist. There, he gently turned her into his arms. She didn't move away this time, and he stood up with her close to his heart, where she was always meant to be.
She hid herself in the comfort of his robe and he breathed raggedly, overwhelmed by emotion.
"I'm not ready," she repeated while her voice quavered. "I'm not ready."
"That's fine," he whispered into her thick, lustrous locks.
I could sleep in these strands for days, he thought. Revel in the sweetness of her love.
If she would have him, he intended to do just that.
Holding her for the first time was like every moment she applied her ointments when he was wounded. It provided a sense of peace and wonder only she could ever invoke. He could feel himself healing through her touch again, coming to the conclusion that the trauma and loneliness of his past transpired simply because life wanted him to know what it meant to cherish someone. And he cherished Kagome. God, how he cherished her.
Brushing away a few strands of hair with his lips, he placed a delicate kiss upon her forehead. Her breath hitched. "When you are ready," he told her; "I'll be there with you every step of the way."
Quiet descended while he moved her out of the house. He came to Kaede at the door, and she looked over Kagome, concern etching itself into every sinew of her brow. Her voice was shaky when she told him she would have Rin bring back their things. Inuyasha thanked her profusely, vowing that some day he would repay her for all she'd done.
He continued his gait, while Kagome remained surprisingly amenable, covered in the warmth of his embrace. The trip was short but he could sense what could only be described as happiness at the approach, a sentiment felt for the first time in weeks.
"Finally," he breathed, and it came from the very depths of his soul.
Yes, finally, they were home. Back where they both belonged.
Arthur's Note: (T_T) So happy to have them back together! On to the next chappy!