Dark bird flies above the land of dreams
Silent flight above the shadowed streams
Land of crystal waters pour
Flows unto the blackened shore
Orb of feathered onyx spiraled flight
Hovers laughing with a wizard's light
Calling others with him soar
Soar beyond the open door
Cloaked one sings
Dancing wings
- Flight of the Raven by Emerald Web
The rest of the day I felt happy and miserable at the same time. It was strange to feel such different feelings alternately. On the one hand, I was happy to have my Severus back, to have the man I loved so infinitely by my side again, to feel him, to experience his innermost thoughts. All this was indescribably euphoric. But on the other hand, after our night together, he had returned to his life as a double spy. At the side of Lord Voldemort, always in danger of crossing the border, of attracting distrust. And I was back in a state of secrecy. I had to hide the truth from my friends, from the whole world. I couldn't even confide my fear for Severus to my best friend Remus, who greeted me happily when we met at Grimauld Place. As always, we were the first members of the Order at the meeting point, because it allowed us an undisturbed exchange of news.
"Have you read the day's prophecy yet?" Remus asked, placing a very worn copy on the kitchen table, which he had undoubtedly picked up somewhere, as I shook my head briefly.
"Not yet, is there anything interesting in it?" I asked, scanning the front page without lifting the paper. Everything in me was trying to hide, to keep my true thoughts and feelings secret.
"Mundungus is in Azkaban because he pretended to be an Inferius during a robbery. A child has tried to kill his grandparents under the Imperius. And Octavius Pepper is gone," Remus said, looking at me briefly to see if the last name meant anything to me.
"Isn't that a high-ranking wizard in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures?" I asked thoughtfully.
"Yes, you know what that means?" Remus asked quietly, looking at the newspaper between us.
"He probably didn't cooperate and was taken out of the way, which means that Lord Voldemort is out to cooperate with the goblins, centaurs and other magical beings." I sighed at the thought of how far the Death Eaters had come in infiltrating the Ministry.
"And the werewolves, Catherine! The werewolves are getting worse," Remus said, staring in front of him as if it was all his fault. "Dumbledore suggested that I rejoin a pack, try to get them on our side." His voice sounded bitter.
"Do you think it's succeeding? Your last mission wasn't very promising," I said quietly and looked at him. He furrowed his brow in deep worry as he looked at me.
"At the time, I wasn't quite on the job. I have often withdrawn from the pack to support you, to be involved in your mission, to protect you. But I wasn't very successful in that either, was I?" His smile froze and his eyes looked away from me.
"It wasn't your fault, Remus! Greyback fuels them in their bloodlust. I've met him and I suspect he can be very persuasive. He lives without morals, ready to make any sacrifice." I swallowed as I thought back to my time at Malfoy Manor and wondered if the basement still housed prisoners. Dumbeldore made it clear that I was still supposed to be under the Imperius of Severus, so I didn't reveal anything about the location of my capture. I also pretended to Remus that I didn't know where I had been held captive. It would be essential for Severus´ camouflage. I knew this from the conversation at my sickbed at St. Mungo's, when the old wizard had come to see me as soon as I awoke, as my first visit. And I had agreed to remain silent in order to protect Severus' life. Nonetheless, Arthur would once again receive a clue to re-examine the property in the near future.
"The bad thing is, I can understand it. They don't trust the wizarding world. Why should they?" I saw his eyes moist, even though he averted my gaze. I took his hand that was still resting next to the Daily Prophet.
"We can do it, Remus," I whispered, smiling encouragingly. He looked at me for a moment before a wry smile crossed his face.
"Yes, we have Dumbledore after all," he said, which immediately sent a shiver down my spine. He didn't know, and neither did anyone else in the Order. The old wizard's days were numbered. "But do you think you can do it without me?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep the shock out of my voice.
"I'm going to stay with the werewolves, no contact with the outside world. This means that you won't hear from me for a long time. I'll give it a try until about June. Can you stand up to it?" Remus asked, grabbing my hand. His skin rested gently and warmly on mine. I didn't know what to make of this month-long mission. All I knew was that Remus wanted and had to go through with it in order not to lose himself. It was his way of repentance, and I knew it was impossible to deny guilt to a man like him. That's what Severus had taught me.
"My thoughts will be with you, Remus," I whispered, squeezing his hand tightly into mine.
"Just like mine will be with you," Remus replied and smiled crookedly at me.
"Did you tell her?" I asked, thinking of Tonks, who would surely be upset if Remus just disappeared from the scene. But Remus shook his head vigorously.
"I already told you she has to forget me. I can't give her what she deserves," he said in a broken voice and I watched his eyes get wet.
"But she-" I began, but he abruptly interrupted me, releasing his hand from mine.
"No, Catherine!" he cried, backing away from me. I read unspeakable pain in his eyes, so that my words of admonition fell silent in my mouth and never found their way past my lips.
"Then promise me you'll take good care of yourself, Remus. You know I couldn't stand it if you..." Even my last thought fell silent and now it was me who felt tears in her eyes.
"Never. You know weeds don't go away," Remus tried to joke with a crooked grin, but I just threw my arms around his neck, pressed his slender body against me, smelled the scent of moss and rain that clung to his clothes.
When the kitchen door opened, we pushed apart again, so as not to allow any false conclusions that had clung to us since the beginning of our friendship.
Tonks arrived accompanied by Mad Eye Moody. Kingsley Shaklebolt and Arthur Weasley through the door. The three men talked animatedly, while Tonks` sad eyes immediately wandered to Remus and me.
Remus shook his head almost imperceptibly as we sat down at the large kitchen table, which was still the main point of the order, accompanied by the stale aftertaste that the original owner of this house, our friend, had passed away last year. But instead of Remus finally consoling himself with the love in front of him about this strong loss, he simply pushes the woman of his heart away from him. But I knew I couldn't continue to intervene without incurring his wrath, which was out of the question for me before he left for the werewolves. So, I silently sat next to Remus. And I thought that in a few days I would take over my usual shifts at St. Mungo's, which would at least pass the time and pass my worry about him for at least a few hours of a long day and night.
There were already drinks on the dark wooden table in front of us and Molly Weasley entered the kitchen with a large pot floating in front of her, in which was a deliciously fragrant soup that plopped straight onto the heavy stove behind us. It was meant to follow up on our meeting and I was already wondering if I would rather spend the time with something other than soup - namely the body of the man who walked through the door next to Dumbledore with a sullen expression on his face. I was overjoyed to see him unharmed, but I tried not to let it show, only my hands clenched into fists under the table to suppress my true feelings.
Severus let his gaze wander in boredom before his gaze brightened slightly as he hung on me, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly and his body tensing up a little, which the headmaster of Hogwarts noticed with a frown before both men sat down at the table. To my surprise, Dumbledore seemed quite tense, if not stressed. A quality I had never seen in him before, so that my gaze was now glued in amazement to the old wizard who suddenly seemed so fragile. Dumbledore surveyed the crowd slightly, nodding imperceptibly to Remus to confirm his agreed assignment before clearing his throat and standing up.
"This meeting won't last long. I have received information that next week the followers of Lord Voldemort are planning to attack the Ministry of Defence in Whitehall. I guess they want to make a statement and make the Muggles panic," Dumbledore explained seriously, his eyes seemed tired from all the weight of his shoulders. A hand rested his body against the back of the chair, while he hid the charred hand in his purple cloak.
"We can't let that happen. Those bastards!" shouted Mad-Eye angrily, slamming a fist on the table so that the glasses clinked.
"For this reason, we need as many volunteers as possible," Dumbeldore replied, his gaze roving feverishly around the group as the first members determinedly raised their hands. I immediately felt Severus' sharp gaze on me as I bit my lower lip nervously. I wanted to attend, but I had promised him that I would hold back so that he wouldn't explode with worry while he was a spy at Voldemort's side. His mind had to remain free and yet I felt my hand twitch involuntarily. But Remus grabbed it tightly, so that I gasped in shock and looked into his eyes, which looked at me with fear. "Not while I can't be with you. "I wouldn't be able to bear it," he whispered, barely audible, but at the same time he shook his head. Now there were two men who wouldn't let me fight.
They were the most important people in my life, they meant the world to me. How could I have caused them so much concern? And yet I was about to fight when I remembered something that Asklepios Sharp had once told me when I asked him if he wanted to fight in the Order of the Phoenix.
"My place in this war will be here. Here is the real fight for life and death when the injured are brought in." At St. Mungo's. And at that moment, I knew that I would be useful in this war. I would actively fight in this war to keep the number of casualties as low as possible. And that I was already this in the first war. This moment of realization felt like a liberating blow as I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. It was as if I could finally feel my wings, it was the flight from my own gloomy thoughts, and I felt a heavy weight lift from me, for I knew I was never a coward. It was just my way of fighting, as a healer. This realization almost took my breath away as I looked up, first into the ash brown sad eyes of Tonks, who looked at me jealously at Remus' gesture, before I looked into black glittering eyes that had settled anxiously on my face. And I continued to watch as enough volunteers came forward without me who were capable enough to successfully complete this mission. Mad-Eye, Shaklebolt, Weasley Senior and Weasley Junior were just a few of them.
"Very good. That should be enough. I would like to thank you and assume that you will allocate your shifts together under the direction of Alastor," said Dumbledore, receiving a murmur of agreement.
"However, since some of you from your position have to leave Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade with it, I need a replacement here again. Can those of you who are currently without an ongoing mission get excited about this task?" the wizard with the long white beard asked, and now his gaze swept over those present again. Inside me, my heart began to race and the thoughts ran through my body like an ice-cold rain shower that came out of the blue.
I bit my lower lip again, but here I felt my hand go up, because the chance to be so close to Severus was just too tempting. Besides, no one would dare to go near the castle as long as Dumbledore was still headmaster. When Remus looked at me sideways, confused, and Dumbledore's eyebrows moved up significantly, and he barely caught a quick glance at Severus, who leaned back, not without twitching the corners of his mouth, I sensed that I had gone too far. This was the opposite of what Severus had asked me to do - not to draw attention to us.
"Do you really want to be near him when he hurt you so much?" Remus suddenly whispered against my ear.
"Then maybe I can calm her down, help her," I replied just as quietly and my gaze slid over Tonks, who also didn't seem to know whether she should be happy about my partnership or rather averse. I knew she was still jealous of me, just as Severus was still jealous of Remus.
"Sure? Even after your stay after the last mission?" asked Dumbledore and deliberately chose words that should not scare those present away from their own missions.
"Sure," I replied with a big smile. I didn't want to be denied my decision-making ability, because even if I didn't want to and couldn't take certain risks for Severus or Remus, I was willing to do my part. I wanted to see Voldemort finally fall.
Dumbledore's eyes flashed briefly before he ended the session. I knew I had better turn to Molly's drip, to use the little time I had left with Remus. And yet my heart wanted to follow the waving black cloak that sped away with Dumbledore without even looking at me. I knew it was necessary so that the principal would not suspect something about us, and yet I felt a twinge in my chest.
And when I left the bed in my apartment the next morning, tired and lonely, a dark owl was already knocking energetically at my window, which was silently and suspiciously watched by Tibi. After I took the letter from the impatient animal, it flew away complaining loudly.
"Yes, it got late yesterday and I slept in," I called after the fluttering animal before shaking my head and opening the blank envelope. The sweeping handwriting made my heart stop for a moment before a breath of heavy breath crept over my open lips.
Please apparate to my office at dusk tonight. I'm going to remove the wards for this moment and just for you. I urgently need to discuss an important matter with you.
Signed: Albus Dumbledore
How did he know about me? Did he know my task in his plans? Nervously, I paced up and down the small room, wondering if I should write Severus and reaching for the parchment before I calmed down and could think more clearly. It was better if I listened to what Dumbledore had to say first. Besides, I knew I would be able to handle him and his mind on my own.
And yet, with a certain nervousness, I appeared in his round office at Hogwarts. He seemed relaxed as he looked up at me from his newspaper 'Transformation Today' through his half-moon glasses. Next to him, magic measuring devices whirred and smoked on dainty little tables, from which only he himself could extract anything. Had these parts betrayed me?
"Sit down, please," he said kindly and his hand showed me the chair in front of his large desk so that I could sit across from him. But suddenly his good-natured gaze changed and became critical and penetrating, as if a shadow had flitted over his mind, which immediately changed the mood. I shivered in spite of the cozy fire in the fireplace.
"I know your situation. At first I thought it would motivate Severus in our plans. I was hoping that he was finally ready to overcome his anger against James Potter and that he could appear to the boy as the mentor I saw in him from the start. I even entrusted him with the task of teaching Harry Occlumency. But I had to be convinced otherwise. That's when I realized that your relationship was contributing to Severus's lack of focus." Dumbledore said with a serious face as I let anger grow inside me. On the one hand about the fact that he knew our secret from the beginning and on the other hand about what he had asked of Severus.
"How did you know that? "Did these devices betray us?" I asked, nodding my head at the small tables that stood around us.
"Well, I know everything that goes on at Hogwarts. Do you think I don't notice how two of my teachers meet secretly at night or how one of my teachers sneaks out of Hogwarts? Even though Severus is a gifted wizard and knows how to bypass wards. But I need his brains for our plans. He is too important to have his head and his heart only with you." Dumbledore slowly leaned back as if he expected his words to make me think. He didn't know that he was actually driving me mad. But I was now too practiced to easily put my true feelings and thoughts on the table. So, I just smiled a little and, despite his convinced wisdom, gathered the courage to oppose him, the great Albus Dumbledore.
"A necessity that he was obviously unable to implement," Dumbledore said with flashing eyes.
"And Severus is now allowed to put himself in danger for you? He's even supposed to kill them without knowing exactly what you're planning! Has it ever occurred to you that it could be what's slowing him down and not me?" I ask in a trembling voice.
"I'm impressed by how much Severus shares with you. You are now more important than atoning for his guilt, more meaningful than his old love for Lily. But-", he started to explain, but I interrupted him.
"We are not stones on your playing field. What you are asking of Severus is unforgivable. Have you thought about what will become of him?" I shouted louder than I was used to. Dumbledore leaned back completely and frowned.
A long silence ensues, interrupted only by a clacking sound. Fawkes nibbles on a piece of lime.
"I confess that I prefer to get a quick death when the time comes and we both know it won't be too long," Dumbledore said after a while, raising his black hand into my field of vision.
"Severus told me about it. But why? How could you not notice such a curse yourself?" I asked, shaking my head and my gaze lingering on his hand, in which death inexorably took possession of the once mighty body. It was almost like the fairy tale of Beedle the Bard, where death takes the brothers without them noticing.
"I was a bit blinded, I would say. But I won't be able to share this story with you," Dumbledore said quietly, looking caught, almost like a small child who had secretly stolen candy and was now being scolded by his mother.
"Then at least let me work on your plans! Give me information as I am currently trying to find ways to support you and Severus. I give so much so that Harry can complete his task and Severus stays safe. I give up everything I had. But Severus is my life. I can never give up on him."
Dumbledore sighed softly and another long silence ensued. His blue eyes bored into mine. I had the feeling that he was trying to look directly into my soul when a cold shiver took hold of my body.
"And Severus won't give up on you, he's proven that, right?" Dumbledore stated, not without a small smile. "What do you know, Catherine?"
I looked at him sharply, wondering if I should tell him the information Severus gave me that we figured out together? But I decided to tell him the truth, because I knew he was an extraordinarily master in Legilimency, who might have been in my mind long ago without me noticing. I also wanted to take advantage of this conversation.
"I know Harry has a connection to Lord Voldemort. This one seems unusual, because I know all the properties of curse scars, but there seems to have never been such a connection in the history of the wizarding world. It's unique. I've been trying to figure out why. But I couldn't find a satisfactory explanation for a long time," I said, thinking of the many books and hospital records I had read in the past.
"And have you figured out why that is?" Dumbledore asked curiously and leaned far forward to me as if he could pull the solution out of me with his piercing gaze.
"I have a hunch, but I haven't shared it with Severus yet. I wanted to use today's conversation to hear the truth," I replied quietly and moved a little in my chair.
"Please let me in on your thoughts." His voice was calm and gentle, just like the blue of his eyes.
"Like many others, I wondered why Voldemort was able to survive in the first place. It's a mystery related to Harry's survival, isn't it?" Now it was me who looked at Dumbledore as a grin spread across his lips.
"Continue, please. I'll interrupt you if you're wrong," he said cheerfully.
"It's a Horcrux. Harry carries a soul piece of Voldemort. It was created when he tried to kill the boy. That's why the strong connection is between the two," I said. A secret I hadn't dared to say or even want to think. But it had forced itself on me a few weeks ago when I had read a book to distract me from my broken heart about black magic and causes of death called Secrets of the Darkest Arts by Owle Bullock, which was deeply dusty in the archives of St. Mungo.
Dumbledore smiled contentedly at me now, so that I bit my lower lip painfully. So, I was right and at the same time I wished that I had never been so wrong.
"I see what Severus finds in you now. Well, of course, in addition to your extremely appealing appearance. Yes, Voldemort has divided his soul several times in order to survive. A part of Voldemort now lives in Harry himself." It pulled the rug out from under my feet, so I ignored the principal's compliment and gasped loudly instead.
"This is strong black magic, a Horcrux. I've read about it. You said... several times? But how is it possible?" I shuddered at the thought of how a man could do this. What must have driven Voldemort to do this?
"That's right, I said several."
We were silent and I looked out the window, past Fawkes, who was keeping an eye on me as much as his owner. My mind raced until I heard the blood rushing in my veins. After all, what was that supposed to mean for Harry? Did he have to die so that Voldemort could also be destroyed? I didn't want to admit it and closed my eyes, trying not to have to see everything that was in front of the boy, in front of all of us. Until a thought came to me like the lightning on Harry's forehead.
"But if Harry wears a part of Voldemort, then only that part has to disappear from him for him to survive. Isn't it?" I asked, my eyes widening at the possibility.
"This is my hope," said Dumbledore, his eyes still resting on me, his hands folded loosely in his lap.
"But I haven't read anything about what happens when a Horcrux is housed in a living being. If there are more than one." I wondered if it was even possible to kill just one part of one's soul and then the others were Horcruxes. "What are they?"
"I don't know all of them yet. That's the job I still have to do, together with Harry. But I suspect Nagini is also important." We were silent again as I tried to organize my racing thoughts. So that's it, it flashed through my mind as my lips uttered a single name.
"Regulus..."
"Excuse me?" Dumbledore asked, startled, he knew exactly which person I meant. And at that moment, an inner voice advised me to initiate the leader of the Order of the Phoenix. Maybe he could put together things for you that I didn't understand.
"Regulus Black had found out about Voldemort before he died. He had regretted his membership under Voldemort, wanted to get out and he wanted to confide in Fabian Prewett, but death preceded him. We suspected at the time that it had to be something that Voldemort cared about, which was perhaps a powerful weapon. But we didn't think about Horcruxes. What if Regulus knew this secret and died because of it?" I asked the man in front of me, his jaw dropping.
"You think the young Black knew where a Horcrux was hiding?" Dumbledore asked incredulously. "He wouldn't have such a thing from Lord Voldemort."
"No, but he said he had a hunch. Maybe he figured it out without knowing where to look," I thought out loud and shook my head suspiciously. "But maybe I'm wrong and he meant something else. But it is striking that he died only a few days later."
Dumbledore's eyes widened noticeably and he put his hands together in a triangle as he seemed to be staring right through me.
"And if I could find a way to prevent Harry's death then…"
"Then you were a great witch, Catherine." He shook his head sadly. "I trust you can put your mind above your heart. Harry must face death at the hands of Voldemort willingly. And Severus has to make it happen. If you now want to show him ways out that might fail, everything is at risk. Then Voldemort will triumph. "You have to understand that because it's the only option we have."
"So, what does that mean for Severus and me?" I looked sharply at the aging wizard in front of me.
"You have to swear to me that you won't tell Severus. I'll tell him the part he needs to know. For his own protection." Dumbledore said seriously and looked at me pleadingly. I sighed.
"You know, I am a person who approves of love. I'm always happy when there's a little more love in this world." He looked at me piercingly and I returned his gaze. "I guess I have to realize that I have to accept Severus' love and incorporate it into my plan. But I ask you to try to stay out of it and not distract him. For Lily. For Harry. For all of us."
I looked at him in disgust. He knew my strong friendship with Lily and the fact that he was now acting on it hurt me. Nothing was too bad for him to achieve his goals. He was lucky that this goal was just as important to me. A world under Voldemort was, after all, a lost one.
My gaze wandered absent-mindedly through the round office as my thoughts tried to sort themselves out. I looked at Fawkes and an idea, a possibility, came to me.
I stood up and Dumbledore rose slowly, resting his weight on the back of the chair again. He looked very exhausted and weak, his gaze was still serious.
"If that's what you're asking me to do, then I need something from you," I said coolly.
Again, there was a long silence. Our eyes met and I felt him trying to explore my thoughts. My gaze remained fixed on him.
"Good. If you swear to me that you won't let Severus in. He must not know, for his own protection."
"For his protection or yours?" I asked quietly, so that he smiled mildly.
"What do you want, Catherine?"
"A vial of your phoenix's tears," I reply dryly.
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow in disgust, he hesitated. His mind was visibly working, but he noticed my sheer determination. He gave me what I asked for, and I disappeared without saying goodbye, praying that his secrecy about Severus wouldn't last long. He knew now that I knew the secret and it was only a matter of time before I would let Severus in, no matter what I had promised the wizard. Because in such moments, it was actually my mind that stood above the vow of my heart, and I knew that Severus' gift would open up new possibilities for us to assist Harry in his death mission.
But before I even had a chance to see Severus again, I resumed my profession at St. Mungo's and faced the feelings of another man with acumen. I knew that Asklepios Sharp would not give up so easily, now that I knew the truth about why he sought my closeness during breaks, started conversations about healing methods, even though he was completely sure of his treatment methods.
I looked at myself in my lime green cape in the mirror of the locker room next to the staff room. My long hair fell slightly wavy over my shoulders, which had become thinner in recent months. I had actually been slim before, but now my cheekbones were clearly visible. The time without Severus hadn't done me any good, I hadn't paid much attention to myself, because everything had seemed so pointless. And yet I still seemed younger than I actually was. But all this seemed insignificant in the face of the threat that awaited me. There were clearly worry lines on my face, which did not want to leave me since the last conversation with Dumbledore.
I sighed loudly as I thought about how the boy would manage to find all the Horcruxes with Dumbledore in time. It seemed almost impossible. Lord Voldemort would eventually have hidden every part in such a way that they were absolutely untraceable. Or brought death like Regulus. I felt all this tension inside me, which made my face in the mirror noticeably harden, and I wondered if we would all ever have a life far away from all that this never-ending war entailed. But I finally knew my task. I knew what I was talented at and good at. Making quick decisions to save a person. I knew I'd be here when things got serious, because this was my place. And at that moment the door burst open and Asklepios entered. His shift was over and he looked tired from all the shifts he had done for me, but no sound of reproach or whining passed his lips when he saw me, but it was a smile that he offered me. And I knew I would stand by his side for the next few months and do everything I could to ensure that the innocent survived.
"Are you ready for the offensive? There have been a lot of poisonings lately. Lots of Muggles and Muggle-borns. You know what that means, don't you?" His voice was moved and he looked at me with sad eyes. I hadn't seen him like this before, he seemed kind of resigned, as if he was looking for a way out of all this. Just like me.
"It's starting," I whispered and nodded, so that the long hair, which I still hadn't pinned into an updo, fell into my face. His hand twitched as if he wanted to touch my strands, just as Severus loved, but Asklepios came to his senses in time.
"Yes. Do you want me to stay here and stand by you? I would understand if you don't feel fit enough yet...", he didn't say it and yet it stood between us in the room. I hadn't told him what had happened to me, because it might have cost me and Severus the cover of the Imperius even if I trusted Asklepios completely. You didn't know what would happen in the future, you had to expect everything.
"Rest, you deserve it after all the effort, the next few weeks are mine," I replied confidently with a laugh on my lips, which immediately made him grin.
"If you need anything, then-"
"I know and thank you, Asklepios," I said, nodding, glad that the mood between us remained unchanged before turning my attention to the patients, of whom there were too many, who mysteriously suffered damage from potions or plants. Colleagues on the other wards reported a similar increase in the number of cases among muggle-born witches and wizards. And a lot of muggles joined them, so that even the obliviators from the British Ministry of Magic had so much to do that they were completely overloaded. One of them was Samantha Radford, a Hufflepuff with whom I went to Flitwick's classes at Hogwarts. She could still remember that he had praised my oblivion spells and asked me if I could at least assist her with the cases in my ward. So it was that I took away the memories of some aggrieved confused Muggles of their stay with us and the bewitchment. I found this to be a good exercise to improve my skills, because especially when particularly intense memories have to be erased, the victims can be disoriented for a short period of time and I tried to prevent this completely. Therefore, I started to change my movements with the wand only a little, while I was able to use the occlumency lessons with Severus to completely empty my mind during the practice, so that my mental focus was solely on this spell and the execution, which gave me the greatest success.