-XXX-

SASUKE

Our house was quiet. Not the comfortable silence that I always welcomed, but a suffocating silence that made me wonder whether to break it with some words or to keep silent.

Sakura went back to bed after another day of complete silence. At dinner, she picked at her food and ate only a few bites. She barely sipped from her water and only answered my questions with vague sounds, one-word words or shakes of her head.

From the living room, I could hear her moving around upstairs, the sounds of drawers opening and closing, and I figured she was probably cleaning and rearranging things. She did it when she was upset and wanted to focus her thoughts somewhere else.

Worrying about her was getting on my nerves, I had never experienced anything like it before. I wasn't used to taking care of someone. I wondered how to help her feel better, or how to get her to start talking to me again.

The memorial service was small but impressive. Considering that Minato and Kushina had taken over most of the arrangements, it wasn't surprising. Yamanaka girl had also been Sakura's support and true friend during this difficult time. And not just her.

Yamanaka helped Sakura pick out photos of Tsunade, which they then placed around the mourning room. Naruto insisted on helping Sakura pick out the theme music and Hinata helped her pick out and buy her funeral dress. We were all just there for Sakura.

Sakura's favourite photo of Tsunade and her in the park was placed next to an urn decorated with daffodils. Many people sent wreaths and flowers to the ceremony, but the largest bouquets were from Sakura and me. Tsunade's favorite flowers, which were lilies, filled an entire vase next to her photo. Most of the floral gifts sent were either gerberas or carnations.

A large number of Namikaze Group members who met and befriended Sakura also came to express their respect and condolences. Sakura was a natural magnet for people, like the sun which everyone else circles around. Therefore, it wasn't surprising how easily and quickly Sakura made a lot of acquaintances and friends. The exact opposite of what I could do.

I stood next to Sakura, holding her around the waist and pressing her stiff and exhausted body against me in silent support. We both shook hands, accepting murmured words of sympathy, and all I could do was to keep noticing how Sakura was trembling.

Some of the nurses and some of the other staff from the Senju Facility attended the funeral and memorial service. Sakura accepted their hugs and whispered words of shared grief. But each time she returned to me afterwards, as if seeking protection in my embrace.

There were only a few of Tsunade's friends left who were still alive, so those who could attend the ceremony were given extra attention by Sakura. She bent down to speak in hushed tones to those on the cart, making sure those with her cane got to their seats as quickly and safely as possible. After the short ceremony was over, she gave them all her time and care.

I kept my eyes on her and stayed close to her. I was concerned that she hardly shed a tear and yet her hands were constantly shaking. Until today, I have not experienced any deep sorrow. When my father died, after all the bad things we had been through, I felt more anger than sadness. Anger at him, anger at myself, and anger at the world.

During the memorial service, however, I found myself thinking about our conversations with Tsunade, and the way her eyes lit up whenever I mentioned Sakura's name. Her funny stories about their life together. On my calendar, all the Tuesday nights were still booked and had Tsunade's name written across them with a dash of "game nights". Somehow I still couldn't bring myself to delete them.

But the worst of all the already strange feelings was my concern for my wife.

I thought Sakura was handling everything pretty well. I knew she was grieving the loss of the woman she loved like a mother, but she was remaining calm. Steady. She only cried once, but I haven't seen her cry since the day Tsunade died.

After today's memorial service, she's withdrawn into herself. She went out for a walk, and at my offer to go with her, she just shook her head in silence. When she returned, she went straight to her room. Not to our bedroom, but to her guest room. She stayed there sitting on the bed until I came for her to go eat her dinner.

With my lack of knowledge of how to help other people, I was now at a disadvantage. I couldn't call Kushina or Minato and ask them what I could do for my own wife. Absolutely everyone was convinced that we were close, and they assumed I knew exactly what to do.

As we left the funeral home today, Yamanaka nudged me and whispered, "Take care of her." I'd like to do that, but I didn't know how. I didn't have the experience of dealing with such intense emotions. And at that time, I couldn't even call that dobe. Naruto would probably give me an exasperating lecture, and I really didn't need his annoying, screaming mouth around here right now.

I walked between the living room and the kitchen, pacing restlessly back and forth, sipping whiskey on the rocks. I knew it would be better to get some work done to get over the tension, but somehow I didn't feel like it. The gym on the other side of the house didn't tempt me either. It seemed too far away, and I wanted to be as close to Sakura as possible in case she needed me.

Tired and clueless, I collapsed on the sofa. But I had to smile a little. Next to me was a plump cushion, another of Sakura's decorations. The soft blankets, the fluffy pillows, the ornaments, the warm colors on the walls, and the pictures she'd put up had completely transformed my cold house and made it feel like a real home.

I raised my glass and paused. Did I even tell her properly that I liked it? I grunted, finished my whiskey and set the glass on the table. I threw my head back with a deep sigh and ruffled my hair.

Over the last few weeks I have noticed that I have changed, I was sure of that, but have I changed enough? I knew my tongue wasn't so sharp anymore. I knew I was a better person. Still, I couldn't say for sure if that was enough. If Sakura is struggling alone, does that mean she still doesn't trust me enough to be open with me and tell me her feelings?

I was surprised at how much I wanted it. I wanted to be there for her. A person she could count on. I knew that I had become dependent on her for many aspects of my life. I wasn't drunk enough or sober enough for those thoughts, so I just let it go. I turned off the lights in the living room and kitchen and made my way to the bedroom.

Upstairs in the bathroom, I got ready, changed into my sleep pants and walked to the bed. I hesitated at the sight of the empty and neatly made bed. I turned towards the door and walked out of my bedroom into the hallway.

My feet led me forward down the hall until I stopped at the door to Sakura's room. I wasn't surprised to find it cracked open. I didn't understand why Sakura found my "snores," as she politely called them, comforting, but I'd never closed my bedroom door at night since she admitted she needed to hear them to sleep.

I stood outside her room for a while, feeling awkward. I didn't really understand why I was here until I heard it. The sound of muffled crying. Without thinking, I stepped inside her room. Her blinds were drawn and moonlight was streaming through the window.

She was curled up in her bed, crying. Her body was shaking from the sobs. I walked over to her and lifted the blanket she was hiding under. A sound of surprise escaped her lips when she saw me, but her breath hitched as I bent over her, my hands cupping her body up and silently taking her into my arms.

I pressed her against me and Sakura quickly wrapped her arms around my neck to prevent her from falling. "Sa-Sasuke-kun..." After an excruciatingly long time, she finally looked me straight in the eye, dropping her trail of thoughts to something other than her sadness. Sakura was all stiff with being taken by surprise, but I held her firmly.

I turned with her in my arms, walked out of her room and carried her back into the hallway, heading back to my bedroom. There, with her still in my arms, I climbed into bed and gently laid her next to me. She looked at me silently with confusion in her eyes, but I didn't react, instead I covered us both in the blanket. "You shouldn't be in there alone." I commented and she immediately snuggled closer, her body clinging to me.

Her hands squeezed my naked shoulders and I could feel her hot tears on my skin. She cried uncontrollably and my heart was aching for her. I gritted my teeth in frustration, angry with myself for not knowing how best to comfort her.

I stroked her back with one hand, the other one buried in her hair, hoping that I was doing something right. Whatever the reason, I was grateful to be able to hold her like this. I missed her closeness, her softness, I missed her tiny body pressing against my flesh. I missed her desperately.

At least the sobs began to subside and that terrible trembling, which was affecting her whole body, stopped. I reached behind me on the bedside table, grabbed a couple of tissues and shoved them into her hand.

"I... I... I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun..." she stammered out in a whisper as she wiped her eyes and nose with tissues. I shook my head at her apology. "You have nothing to apologize for." No one should have to apologize for the pain of losing their family. It's the universe and fate that should apologize to her.

"Did I… Did I wake you up?" Even in this state, she was worried about whether she had disturbed me with her crying and sobbing. Her selflessness surprised me again. "No." I hesitated for a moment on what to say. "You are my wife. It's all right." I hoped that statement would sum it all up.

"You're very kind and very nice, Sasuke-kun." From the astonished tone of her voice, I was slightly taken aback. Part of me wondered if I could be like that when I wanted to, but her praise pleased me more than I would have expected.

"Ah… I'm trying." I replied, slightly embarrassed.

Sakura wiggled a little in my arms, then she tilted her head and looked into my face. "I know… but why?" She asked me with genuine curiosity.

"Because you need it." I was a simple man. I was always looking for clear, simple ways to solve problems. However, despite the fact that nothing was ever very simple with this woman, there was one thing I wished was clear. She was in a lot of grief and I wanted to help her.

With my thumb, I gently wiped away the fresh tears that had escaped from the corners of her eyes. "She liked you, do you know that?" She asked me with a slight smile on her lips and my throat tightened oddly. In the pale light streaming in through the window, I stared intently into her eyes. "Hn… I hope so." I said softly, but sincerely.

"I can understand that you miss her a lot." I didn't feel like repeating all the shallow talk she'd had to listen to over and over for the past few days. "She just didn't want to be a burden to you." I repeated the words that had been on Tsunade's mind the most these past few days.

"She wasn't! Never, shannaro!" Sakura exclaimed back defiantly and I closed my eyes with a sigh. When I opened them again, her angry eyes never left mine. "She probably wouldn't agree with you on that. You worked hard to keep her safe. You've sacrificed a lot for her." I said out loud what Sakura needed to hear.

"She did the same for me... She always thought of me first." Sakura shuddered and lowered her gaze. "I have no idea what would have happened to me if she hadn't found me then and taken me in." More small tears began to fall from her eyes and down her cheek and chin again.

I didn't even want to think about that either. Tsunade's actions have affected both of their lives, especially for the better. "She wanted the best for you." Sakura nodded, obviously agreeing with her adoptive mother's reasoning. "I know... Me too. I wish I could do more for her..." She squeezed her eyelids together and I struggled to wipe the falling tears from her face.

I cupped her face in my hands and stared into her eyes filled with sadness. "You've done more than enough for her. So much so that you even married a total jerk." I couldn't help the ironic smirk. "And that was only to get her the care she needed."

"You stopped being a jerk a long time ago, Sasuke-kun..." This topic brought her briefly to another set of thoughts that even made her smile in amusement as she began to wipe her own damp eyes with her left arm. I shook my head and before I knew it, she reached her other hand around my neck and pulled me down onto the pillow so that my head was resting in the crook of her neck.

I don't remember the last time I cried, probably when I was a child, but now I felt the pain from the tears of the woman who held me in her arms. I was terribly sorry that the woman who had filled us both with knowledge, who had taught us so much, and who had brought Sakura and me together, had died.

I was sorry that we had lost a woman who, with her stories, stubborn nature, strong temper, hot-headedness, and unfortunately a shattered memory, had managed to raise the woman I married, all by herself. Together, they both helped me understand that it is perfectly okay to feel emotions, to trust other people, and to love.

Because it was at this moment that I realized that I truly loved my wife.

I scooped Sakura closer and pressed her tightly against me. When I stopped wandering in regretful thoughts, I lifted my head and met Sakura's knowing gaze. However, the atmosphere had changed.

Instead of kind tenderness and understanding, the air between us was charged with energy. A longing and passion I had long denied to myself ignited within me. My body burned for the woman I held in my embrace.

Sakura's beautiful emerald eyes, widened with longing as much as mine had, lighting up their vivid green color. I lowered my head and stopped just above her quivering lips, because I wanted to give her the chance to say no.

"Sasuke-kun..." Her gasp, soft as a feather, was all I needed, and I threw myself at her mouth with a hunger I'd never experienced before. It wasn't all just lust and desire. It was longing and passion. It was also forgiveness and redemption. All of it together in the form of a deep kiss.

In the hot flames that erupted and burned in my chest, I felt like a new person. Every nerve in my body was incredibly tense. I could feel every inch of her body clinging to mine. Every curve of her perfect figure was curled up against me as if she was made for me. Only for me.

When our tongues met, her's was like velvet. We couldn't kiss any more deeply. I didn't know if she'd prefer soft and light kisses, but from her heated cheeks and her heavy breathing, I figured Sakura was just as eager for our contact as I was.

I grabbed the hem of her ridiculously thin purple nightgown in my rather nervous hands. I waited a moment to see if she would motion for me to stop. However, with her nod of approval, I rolled the fabric from her thighs, up her torso to her shoulders, pulled it over her head, and her nightgown instantly disappeared into oblivion on the floor. I discovered that other than her nightgown, she was wearing no other article of clothing, and my need only increased.

I had to touch her skin. I wanted to feel all of her. After I had her in all her glory in front of me, I went back to kissing her again. I was kissing, caressing and stroking her everywhere my hands roamed over her skin. I had to smirk when Sakura gathered her courage and eagerly pressed her breasts against me, as if she didn't want to leave a single inch of space between us. Our naked skin touched and we both moaned in delight.

Her smooth, silky body against mine, rougher and harder body. Sakura was like cream, soft and sweet, and she was all over me. I explored every inch of her with my hands and tongue. All the curves and hollows, hidden from the world, were now mine to explore.

I was kissing her on her lips, on her neck, on her shoulders, on her palms, in short, everywhere I could. I tasted her and each new discovery was completely unique and erotic. Her breasts in my hands were lush and full, her nipples tempting and sensitive. I teased them with my tongue until they rose to stiff peaks and gently tugged on them with my teeth until she let out a low whimper.

I already knew this sound was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.

Sakura was struggling, panting and whispering my name. It was such an overwhelming feeling that in my mind I wished it would never end. When I let myself go lower and swirled my tongue over her belly, she clenched her muscles in nervousness and she held her breath. Her fingers entwined with mine were squeezing me so hard I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd broken them.

I devoted to her a few more kisses and nibbles to her skin, which I then directed around her belly button so that she would loosen up and get used to my lips. I couldn't resist and tried to go a little further, down over her hips and under her belly until I found her at her womanly privates, wet and ready just from the sight.

With my head between her legs, I picked up her leg to get better access to her and I placed a kiss on the inside of her inner thigh. "Sasuke-kun...!" She gasped out in surprise. "Sasuke-kun..." The word, just an ordinary name, suddenly rang out with desperate need and eagerness.

I had a lot of ideas in my head that I wanted to try with and on her. I didn't know if I was doing what I was doing well, but you can improve in everything with practice, right? It was time for my confident personality to compensate for the lack of experiences. I thought that once it came to this, the whole situation would be unbearably awkward and embarrassing. But in the end it wasn't. I was excited, anxious, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest, but it was just the two of us, in a moment of intimacy and mutual affection. I was looking forward to what more was in store for us.

I spread kisses along her inner thigh, closer and closer to her very core. Sakura arched her back, letting the obviously pleasurable sensations take over, so I kept going and pressed my mouth to her clit. As I caressed and teased her with my tongue, she stretched her full body in arousal pleasure. "Sa-Sas-..." She wasn't capable of saying anything. She buried her hands in my hair, pulling me closer and pushing me away with the rhythm I was moving to.

Her moans and her sighs sounded like music to my ears. I slipped a finger inside of her, then two, stroking her intensely. She gasped and let the warmth take over her. Suddenly her body calmed down and Sakura was lying still as if she was paralyzed. Restlessness took over my mind, so I stopped everything and I looked up to see her in her face. "Is something wrong?"

"Sasuke… I... I've never..." She started slowly and nervously. She tilted her head to the side to avoid my gaze. She seemed embarrassed to talk about what she actually needed to talk about.

I lifted my head and stiffened. She didn't even have to finish her sentence. I knew what she wanted to say. I recalled that this was a first for me as well as for her. I had to remember to be gentle with her and treat her with great caution and care.

The fact that she chose to be so intimate with me filled me with all sorts of feelings I couldn't define. It shouldn't have surprised me, yet she always managed to confuse me again. "Ah..." I replied with a little smirk hidden in the corners of my lips. "I didn't either…"

Her eyes widened in blank shock and I realized that she obviously had other thoughts about me. "But don't stop, please..." She pleaded, noticing my momentary hesitation. "Sakura..." I wanted to give her one last chance to think about it, so she wouldn't regret anything later. I wanted her to want it as much as I did.

"It's okay..." She responded with a nod and a sweet smile. I climbed up, took her beautiful face in my hands, and kissed her on the mouth with the sort of devout affection I've never felt for anyone. "Sakura… are you sure?"

She drew me back to her lips and breathed into me with a moist breath of her own: "Yes. I've never been more sure, shannaro..." The light laugh she added in made the atmosphere feel instantly brighter. I carefully laid on top of her, wanting to press my lips to hers again when suddenly she continued. "And you, Sasuke-kun? Are you sure?"

I was surprised by her question, but it was a pleasant surprise. I had to smirk and answered the same way she did. "Ah..." I was sure. I had never been so sure of something I wanted. I was glad that the woman in front of me felt exactly the same way. I wanted her first time to be memorable for her. I wanted to prove to her with my body the feelings I had for her. To show her the confidence she'd grown in me over the time she'd been there for me. I wanted her to become mine in every sense of the word.

I locked our lips together again. She was as soft as silk under my hands. I caressed her with my mouth, familiarizing myself with the most intimate places and every part of her, not just her tender lips. I was learning to recognize her taste, her expressions, her little sighs, and how she felt to the touch. I noticed that Sakura was getting bolder too. She was touching me and searching me out with her lips and delicate fingers. As she ran her fingertips from my face, over my shoulders, to the bottom of my back, her name escaped my lips with a bliss and urgency I never expected to be able to utter. "Sakura..."

I held her and kissed her until she was completely ready. And that's when the moment came to finally join our bodies together and give in to our desires. She gripped me tightly, pressing herself against me, mumbling my name over and over, her nails digging into my back. I groaned, pushing her legs higher and penetrating her with a little force.

She gave a painful shriek, her head fell back and her clenched body arched like a bow. I got scared, wondering if I was hurting her somehow. "Does it hurt?" I had to make sure before I made another move. Sakura opened her tightly clenched eyes and gave a little smile. "No, Sasuke-kun, it doesn't hurt..."

Despite her assurances, I was very cautious in making another thrust. Even then Sakura still looked like she was in pain, but it was different now. Her irregular breathing had become a mixture of regular gasps and moans. It seemed that with each additional thrust, she was getting used to the pressure, as well as the slow pace I was trying to maintain. Painful to maintain, because it wasn't easy at all. I wanted her unbelievably bad.

While our bodies were busy, I returned to her lips and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. We made love, changing tempos, caressing and kissing each other until we both reached our ultimate pleasure. She looked breathtaking at her climax. Her throat was tight and a light layer of sweat covered her skin. I too came to orgasm and the intensity of the pleasure left me speechless.

I buried my face in the crook of her neck, completely covered in sweat. Then I turned my head towards her, grabbed her chin with my hand, and pulled her mouth closer to mine. I was kissing her until her trembling and shuddering in my body gradually subsided. Once it was over and our bodies callmed down, I rolled onto my back, pulled her to my chest, and nuzzled into her hair.

Sakura just sighed softly and snuggled closer to me, wrapping her arms around me as if she didn't want to lose me from her grasp. "Sasuke? Thank you." She breathed into my skin. I leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the hot skin of her forehead. "I'm the one who's thankful." We both knew our mutual thanks wasn't about sex. It was thanks for everything and for each other's very existence.

"You must be tired, get some sleep." I nudged her to stop thinking about anything tonight and get a good night's sleep in my arms. "I should probably go my own room..." She stammered and I gripped her tighter, not letting her leave. Apparently I hadn't made that clear enough to her, so I added pointedly: "No. Stay here with me." I wanted her to understand that she could relax with me and that her presence was more than welcome.

She sighed and a long, slow shudder ran through her body. She mumbled another thank you and snuggled into my chest. I knew, though, that she liked to sleep with her back pressed against me. And I liked waking up with my face buried in her warm neck, smelling the scent from her hair, her body pressed against mine.

That's why I released her from my grip and Sakura automatically knew why. I had to smile as she did the same. She released me from her grip and rolled over to her other side, her back against me. Then I pulled her close to me again and kissed her gently behind her ear. "Sleep." I urged her on, because we had a lot of things to figure out in the morning. "Sasuke-kun, I..." Sakura probably wanted to talk about it now, but we were both very tired so I stopped her. "Tomorrow."

She nodded slightly and pulled the covers closer to her neck, preparing to go to sleep. "All right. Good night, Sasuke-kun." I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent. I'll tell her everything tomorrow. I'll ask her to tell me what's on her mind. I wanted to tell her how I felt and that I loved her. To clear the air between us. And then help her move her things into my room, our room. Sighing with the satisfaction of holding a woman I care deeply about, I immediately fell asleep after that, as did she.

I didn't want to be without her anymore.

-XXX-

End of Chapter 29