Chapter 27 – return of the bad boyfriends
With another frantic week at The Northern Lights restaurant coming to an end, Azula felt just a touch frustrated. Her plans to rent the forest cottage for herself and the girls had been foiled yet again. She had ended up yelling at the owner of the cottage because the website had shown the property as available and her online booking had gone through, only for the owner to later contact her to apologize and cancel her reservation.
This continued streak of bad luck was starting to piss Azula off, and she was having trouble focusing during Sunday's lunch service because she was desperately trying to come up with some sort of alternative plan for their day off on Monday. Fortunately, Toph was more than willing to step up and take over after Azula's timing appeared woefully out of sync with Suki. At least the Caldera City furry convention was finally about to end, so come next week, their giant parrot would be back in the trenches with the rest of them.
Having made sure that between the two of them, Suki and Toph had everything under control in the kitchen, Azula was about to head off and check out how the others were doing. Before she had managed to leave the kitchen, however, Katara entered, but she wasn't carrying any tickets to hand over to the cooks. Katara looked around, speaking up as soon as her eyes landed on Azula. "Azula, there's a guy outside in the dining room, asking for you," Katara said, looking rather tense.
"That's… weird," Azula remarked, feeling a little surprised. She didn't exactly know many guys in Caldera City, except for her coworkers and Zuko. "Guess I'll go take a look," she said, leaving the kitchen with Katara sticking to her like glue. Azula paused at the end of the hallway emptying into the dining room, instead choosing to subtly observe the dining room first. She didn't want to blindly charge into a surprise and find herself on the back foot in case this was some trick by Zuko or a test by her father. Scanning the dining room, Azula quickly spotted a familiar face, telling her that this was neither a trick by Zuko or a test by Ozai. "That's Chan," Azula groaned. "I have no idea what's he doing here."
"Your fake boyfriend?" Katara asked. "He was supposed to be back in Ba Sing Se, right?"
"Yes," Azula nodded. "I guess I better find out what he wants," Azula sighed, entering the dining room and heading straight for Chan, standing by the bar counter. Curiously enough, Katara was sticking with her, even though there really was no good reason for her to do so. Still, Azula found it very flattering whenever Katara was being nosy or maybe even a tiny bit obsessive about her, so she was happy to let Katara tag along.
"There you are, babe," Chan exclaimed, grinning obnoxiously and looking happy to see her. "Looking good," he added, pulling Azula in for a kiss and a hug, neither of which Azula could really refuse in front of a crowded dining room. Azula felt very excited about the violent murder clear in Katara's eyes as she stared Chan down.
"So, you're the illustrious Chan," Katara remarked coldly. "I'm Katara, by the way," she spoke stiffly, offering her hand to Chan.
"My pleasure," Chan grinned, taking Katara's hand. His eyes widened in surprise and he winced in slight pain. Azula guessed that Katara must have squeezed his hand something fierce and it was majorly turning Azula on. "Anyway, I'm sure I don't need to say more. Knowing Azula, she can't stop talking about me."
"Oh yes," Katara nodded, rolling her eyes and looking like she was struggling not to laugh. "That's all we're hearing from Azula, Chan this, and Chan that."
"I knew it," Chan grinned winningly before turning back to Azula. "Damn it, babe, I've missed you so much. Did I already mention that you look great?"
"You did, thanks," Azula replied numbly. "I would have appreciated an advanced warning, though. You know I hate surprises."
"It's a lovely surprise, though, I'm sure you'll agree," Chan said, undeterred. "Listen, is there a place where we could catch up in private? I've missed my gorgeous girlfriend so much, but also, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Azula frowned at Chan's words, annoyed at having to guess what he was up to. Coming from Chan, it was most likely something very stupid, but still, Azula hated not knowing what she was dealing with. "Let's go to the office," she said, leading Chan away and this time Katara didn't follow, staying where she was, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.
"Cozy little place," Chan remarked as she let him into the empty office. Sokka wasn't really using the space all that much. Considering that he lived above the restaurant, it wasn't as if he always needed to sit in the office during the work hours when he could simply work on his laptop upstairs. After Katara had moved out, Sokka was now the sole inhabitant of the upstairs living quarters. There was growing chatter about Ty Lee possibly moving in soon, but even with Ty Lee being unconcerned about the restaurant rivalry, the idea of a Blue Spirit employee living above The Northern Spirit felt just a touch awkward to Azula.
"Alright, we're no longer in danger of being overheard, so you can drop the act," Azula turned around to face her pretend boyfriend, giving Chan a stern stare. "What is this really about?"
"Can't a guy just miss his gorgeous girlfriend?" Chan tried one of his trademark winks that had never managed to leave an impression on Azula. He then sighed when Azula fixed a firm glare upon him. "Listen, it's been two months since you left Ba Sing Se, and I'm having second thoughts about our deal," Chan said. "I can't go on dates. I can't go clubbing or have any sort of fun at all for four more months! That sucks, babe. You need to sweeten the pot."
"You want more money?" Azula hissed. "We had an agreement, Chan."
"Sure, but… I didn't expect that this whole arrangement would be so frustrating. There are only so many evenings I want to spend alone at our place, playing online co-op shooters with my buddy Ruon," Chan sighed. "I thought that you would see my point and take pity on me."
"Well, you thought wrong," Azula shrugged. "It's a cushy arrangement and you can still hook up with other women on the down-low as much as you want. I'm not going to pay you more than I already do."
"Maybe you should reconsider that," Chan said, losing the pathetic expression of a lost puppy. "It recently occurred to me that I hold all the cards in this situation. If your father knew about the nature of our arrangement-"
"Blackmail, is it?" Azula snapped angrily, cutting Chan off. "Bad move, Chan. You clearly have no idea how far I'm willing to go in order to protect my secrets."
"Oh, I know how scary you can be," Chan smiled insincerely. "I just don't think you'll do anything crazy, because I'm not really asking for much. I know you have the money. You can easily pay me twice the amount you're paying, and you would still remain loaded."
Azula didn't reply immediately. Chan clearly overestimated just how wealthy she was, or he was operating under the false impression that Azula could get more money from Ozai whenever she needed extra funds. And while Azula certainly could pay Chan what he was asking, it would mean that she would have to seriously curtail her other expenses. She wasn't willing to do that, especially if that meant giving into blackmail. It would simply enable Chan's greed for more.
"I have to think about this," Azula eventually replied. She needed time to consider her next move. Simply dismissing Chan was too dangerous, but she also couldn't be seen as giving in too easily. If Azula was going to pay, then she had to make Chan work for it.
"I thought you might need time," Chan nodded knowingly. "I have an early flight back to Ba Sing Se tomorrow morning, so I'll pop back in later this afternoon. I hope you'll come to your senses, baby. I'm really not asking for much here," he said, winking again before leaving the office.
Having stewed in helpless anger for a while, Azula eventually returned to the dining room, busy thinking about a way out of her predicament, various plots of silencing Chan in very permanent fashion coming to her mind. Back in the dining room, Azula immediately forgot about her issues as she noticed Yue in a heated conversation with a young man of approximately the same age as her. They were standing near the exit, both of them gesticulating wildly, and Azula was about to walk over and help resolve the conflict by tossing out this loser who had dared to start shit with one of her girls.
As Azula began her stride towards Yue and the problematic customer, she was halted by someone grabbing her hand. Azula nearly started yelling before realizing that she had been stopped by Katara. Curious, Azula followed the other girl back behind the counter. "Let Yue deal with this one herself," Katara spoke when they were out of the earshot of the customers. "That's Hahn Adjuk, her… childhood friend, I guess?" Katara frowned, looking a little uncertain. "Also, a guy she was really pressured to hook up with and get married to. Arranged marriages may no longer be a thing legally, but with how much Yue's dad was pushing her, it would have definitely counted as an arranged marriage if Yue had gone along with it."
"Gross," Azula muttered, feeling a burst of both anger and jealousy as she stared down this Hahn Adjuk. He wasn't exactly bad looking for a male, but Azula was certain that he was a complete asshole and she wasn't willing to entertain any other possibilities. "What does he want from Yue?" Azula asked worriedly.
"Beats me," Katara replied. She also looked concerned. "I'm sure Yue will tell us everything once she's done talking to him."
"Have they been dating in the past?" Azula asked.
"Not seriously," Katara shrugged. "Yue went out with him a few times in high school, but it was mostly to placate her father. She made sure to tell Hahn that she wasn't ready for serious dating in high school because she wanted to focus on her grades. Which wasn't really true, because we were very serious during that time, but Arnook Taqqiq would have blown a gasket if he had known about us."
"Doesn't that sound familiar," Azula sighed bitterly.
"I can imagine," Katara gave her a sympathetic stare. "Anyway, Hahn was really hoping that they would start dating seriously in college, but Yue chose Sokka instead. Hahn just hasn't been in the picture at all for years, ever since Yue dropped out of college and Kya was born."
"I see," Azula remarked. "Let's hope we're about to find out why this slimeball has picked this exact time to crawl back," she said, watching Hahn finally leave and Yue making her way over to them, looking concerned and agitated.
"Is everything alright?" Katara was the first to ask as soon as Yue had rejoined them. "I gave Azula a quick primer on Hahn, by the way."
"Oh," Yue blinked. "Alright, that's fair," she smiled faintly. "Anyway, that was… strange."
"What about it was strange?" Azula asked quickly.
"Hahn actually had a message from my father," Yue replied, looking a little hopeful. "Apparently, he's seeking reconciliation."
"That's good, right?" Azula asked again. She was well aware that while Yue's financial struggles had lessened, she still wasn't doing great. Arnook Taqqiq pitching in financially would be a great boon, and would definitely open more doors for Kya in the future, which was probably the main reason why Yue was even entertaining this reconciliation.
"I guess it depends on the terms," Katara remarked, giving Yue a searching stare. "Also, it seems weird that he wouldn't reach out to you himself, but instead would send Hahn to speak on his behalf. That doesn't seem like a good sign to me."
"Well… with my father back in Agna Qel'a and Hahn here in Caldera, I suppose this felt like a more personal way than a phone call?" Yue guessed. "I wouldn't read too much into it. My father is a very proud man. I'm not too surprised that he would have a hard time handling this in person. As for the terms, Hahn wouldn't get into it now. He asked me out to a restaurant later in the evening to discuss the details."
"It all sounds just a little fishy to me," Katara frowned. Azula felt inclined to agree with Katara, but she decided not to say anything for now. It seemed like Yue really wanted to hold on to the hope that the offer from her father was genuine.
"Well, I figure there's no harm in hearing Hahn out, is there?" Yue shrugged, clearly not wanting to argue. "The only problem is that I now need to find a babysitter on a very short notice. And I can't ask Kiyi or any of my other regular girls to come over late on Sunday evening. They all have school on Monday morning."
"I would be happy to sit with Kya, but Ty Lee was super insistent that I join her and Sokka tonight," Katara said apologetically. "I was a bit concerned that I would just feel like the third wheel, but Ty Lee is really determined about us getting to know each other better. She seems very serious about Sokka, which is a good thing."
"It's also very unusual for Ty Lee, but I agree on it being a good thing," Azula nodded. "Anyway, Yue… I guess I'm free tonight? I can sit with Kya for you. She seems to like me for some weird reason."
"You would do that for me? Oh, that's wonderful… thank you so much," Yue gasped, pulling Azula into a tight hug. "Kya will be thrilled. She's a big fan of yours, and not just because of all the expensive gifts."
"I'm not surprised at all that Kya would like you," Katara smiled. She was about to say more, but at that moment, she was interrupted by some guy approaching them from behind.
"Katara? Katara Enuaraq?" the young man asked. "My goodness, it really is you. Whoa, just look at you, you're even more gorgeous than I remember."
Azula needed just one glance to instantly develop a burning dislike for the man. She was a strong believer in the theory that a guy sporting a moustache without a beard was a red flag for sexual predation, and this man's unfortunate choices regarding his facial hair definitely placed him in that category. Also, he had dared to hit on Katara, which made Azula feel like throwing hands.
"Haru?" Katara turned towards the young man, visibly recoiling when her eyes fell on the moustache. "Haru Tamang, of all people… what brings you here?" Katara recovered to reply politely, much too politely for Azula's liking.
"Well, it's a restaurant, right?" Haru chuckled in an obnoxious way that made Azula wistfully imagine smacking him on the head with a cast iron pan. "Although, I'll be honest… I probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't decided to check the social media profiles of old friends and acquaintances a few days ago."
"Let me guess," Yue said, scowling. "You noticed that Katara has changed her relationship status on Facebook."
"Well, let's just say that I figured there might be an opportunity to reconnect," Haru smiled, looking undeterred. "What do you say, Kat? What time do you get off? We could go for a walk in the park, have some ice cream and reminisce about the good old days?"
"What good old days?" Katara frowned.
"I mean… when we were dating," Haru stuttered slightly. "We had some fun times along the way, didn't we?"
"Actually, we didn't really have all that much fun, Haru. As I seem to remember, that was the exact reason why I broke up with you," Katara said icily. "Do you remember what I told you when we broke up?"
"Well, I don't recall your exact words… many things were said, some of them a little nasty," Haru said, looking very uncomfortable. "I seem to recall that you were a little upset, which was perfectly understandable."
"I believe I told you that I'm breaking up with you because you were incredibly boring and had as much charisma as a bowl of oatmeal. And not even a nice bowl of oatmeal with some butter, sugar or jam. Just very plain and boring oatmeal," Katara spoke sternly. "Haru, when a girl breaks up with you, it's not to be taken as an invitation to try again three years later. I thought I had made myself quite clear."
Haru just blinked at them owlishly, slowly going very red in the face as he began to back away. "I'm, uh… just going to leave now…" he managed, turning around and all but running out of the restaurant.
"First good decision he made today," Katara snorted.
"What a loser," Yue accompanied Haru's retreating form with a cold stare.
"I didn't know you could be such a savage," Azula looked at Katara, aware that her expression was of the kind that was commonly described as having heart-eyes. "That was absolutely brilliant."
"Thank you," Katara grinned, bowing gracefully. "Anyway, tell us what Chan wanted with you," she asked simply and unabashedly.
"So, that was Chan?" Yue asked, looking a little anxious. "I don't think I like him very much."
Azula chuckled at the reaction, shaking her head. She briefly contemplated spinning some fanciful story to make sure that the girls wouldn't worry about her, but Katara and Yue were both very perceptive and stood a good chance of detecting the lie, so Azula decided to go with the simple truth. "Chan just wanted some extra money from me," she shrugged. "You don't have to worry about him. He's never been the smartest bloke, and all those concussions he's suffered during his football career haven't improved things. I can easily handle him."
"Alright, we trust you, Azula," Yue smiled. "But if you need any help, then know that we stand ready to support you. And I'm sure Suki feels the same way." Azula returned a grateful smile to Yue.
"Well, this day is off to an interesting start," Katara remarked a while later. "We've all been visited by either our exes or fake boyfriends. I wonder what we should expect to happen next."
"Eh, I wouldn't worry about it," Azula rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it's going to be a perfectly normal and boring day."
At The Blue Spirit, Zuko felt rather distracted as he was doing some prep work ahead of Sunday's dinner service. The distraction was being caused by Zuko's normally reliable and dependable sous chef On Ji Takeda. For some reason, she was acting very strangely, constantly dropping things and just not behaving like her normal self. While Zuko was still pondering if or how to ask On Ji about what was bothering her, he was startled by On Ji crying out and dropping her knife, blood gushing from a nasty looking nick in her thumb.
"Damn it," Zuko muttered, quickly grabbing the first aid kit that was always at hand in the kitchen and rushed to help his distracted sous chef. At least the cut wasn't as deep that it would require stitches, and with a little bit of effort, the wound was quickly disinfected and bandaged, but it was clear that On Ji would be of limited use throughout the dinner service.
"What happened here?" Jet asked as he entered the kitchen, probably having overheard On Ji's cry from the pantry where he generally spent his time slacking off.
"On Ji cut herself, but it's nothing too serious," Zuko replied.
"Really? That's unusual," Jet remarked, looking at On Ji. "You're normally very careful."
Zuko thought for a while and decided to agree with Jet. "You know, I feel like Jet is right," Zuko nodded firmly. "I can tell that something is bothering you, On Ji. What's going on? Is someone at the restaurant pestering you? Is it Ruon Jian? Do you want me to kick his ass?"
"What?" On Ji blinked, looking shocked. "Agni, no! Ruon Jian is a totally nice and harmless guy who doesn't need his ass kicked. And no, nobody at the restaurant is pestering me. It's… it's alright, really, you needn't worry."
"Oh well, that's alright then," Zuko immediately relaxed, walking back to his station.
"Are you kidding me?" Jet gave him an incredulous stare. "Can't you see that she's clearly upset?" he pointed at On Ji.
"No, really, don't bother," On Ji protested. "It's a private thing and I'm dealing with it."
Zuko gave Jet another uncertain stare in search for a sorely needed social cue of whether to drop the matter or pursue it further. Jet gave him a stern shake of the head. "It doesn't seem like you're really dealing with it, though," Zuko decided to be firm and press ahead. "It's getting to you so badly that you cut yourself. I want to do what I can to make sure that my employees are working at their peak efficiency, so just tell me what's bothering you and then we can deal with it together."
On Ji looked very uncertain for a good while before speaking up again. "Well… I told you that I came to Caldera City because I was fleeing from my violent and abusive boyfriend," she said, clearly trying to hold back sobs. "But last night, I got a message from Hide… my ex-boyfriend. He's in Caldera, and he's found out where I'm working. He said that we're getting back together and that he's not taking no for an answer."
"What an asshole," Jet swore. "Makes the rest of us decent guys look like dicks, too."
"Agreed," Zuko nodded. "I would say go to the police, but I know that Caldera coppers don't take these cases seriously until it's much too late."
"I know, they're useless," On Ji nodded tearfully. "It was the same back in the Fire Fountain City."
"Well, if the cops aren't going to help, then clearly it's up to us to protect On Ji," Zuko said firmly. "Right, Jet?"
"What?" Jet blinked, looking a little taken aback. "I mean… yes, of course," he rallied quickly. "We can take this guy, absolutely."
"Oh, I don't know… Hide is a violent guy," On Ji looked very worried.
"Well, so are we," Jet spoke confidently. "I've been living on the streets for as long as I can remember, and I've been in hundreds and hundreds of scraps. I know how to fight dirty if necessary. And Zuko is a pretty vicious guy as well. He throws a mean punch, let me tell you. I'm never again bragging about getting Zuko killed in a videogame, because this guy came close to tearing my head off in a fit of anger."
"I don't remember that," Zuko frowned. "Anyway, I agree that we can take this asshole and make sure that he leaves On Ji alone."
"I guess there's no way I can talk you out of this?" On Ji sighed.
"Absolutely none," Jet shook his head. "Now, we need a plan to take care of this guy and I just happen to have one. On Ji, you'll send him a text, telling him to come meet you. Zuko and I will be hiding nearby, and when he shows up and starts acting like a prick, we're going to jump him."
"Ambushing someone isn't very honorable," Zuko frowned. Jet gave him a look suggesting that Zuko was out of his mind. "Although, I suppose it might be a safer way to take care of this guy. Also, if he beats up women, then maybe he doesn't deserve to be treated with honor." For some reason, Jet looked very relieved at hearing Zuko say that.
"Right, now we just need to pick a place for ambush," Jet mused. "How about the back alley behind the restaurant? It's the perfect spot for a fight. There won't be any witnesses that might interfere with us giving this guy an ass beating. Also, there are some good hiding places behind the trash containers."
"Sounds promising," Zuko admitted. "Let's go and scope out the place thoroughly before On Ji makes contact with her creepy ex."
The three of them walked out of the kitchen, Jet and On Ji ahead of Zuko as they proceeded towards the back exit. While walking, Zuko suddenly became aware of a conversation taking place nearby, with someone speaking in a voice that seemed vaguely familiar to him. "So, how is it, working for Zuko?" the familiar sounding guy asked.
"Go ahead, I'll join you in a bit," Zuko spoke in a low voice, ushering Jet and On Ji outside before sneaking back in to spy on the conversation that had captured his attention.
"Well, you know how it is with Zuko," Ruon Jian let out that annoying chuckle of his. "He's completely mental. Unpredictable and chaotic asshat."
"Yeah, that sounds like Zuko," the other guy laughed in a very familiar way, finally making everything click into place for Zuko. Chan? What is Chan doing here? And how does he know Ruon Jian? "Sorry that you're stuck working for that angry nerd," Chan added.
"Oh, it could be worse," Ruon Jian replied. "Zuko might be a pain in the ass, but the rest of the crew are good people. And then there's Mai." Zuko could practically hear Ruon Jian salivating at the mention of Mai. "Now that's one classy doll, am I right?"
"Zuko's Mai?" Chan asked, sounding a little incredulous. No longer my Mai, Zuko thought to himself. At least it seems like she doesn't want to be mine. Still, the way these two chuckleheads were discussing Mai behind her back was filling Zuko with murderous rage. "I guess she's hot, but to me she's always been more scary than hot," Chan said.
"She's both of those things to me," Ruon Jian replied. "Anyway, it seems like she and Zuko had a huge blowup recently. So, I think I'm about to score big time."
"Alright, good for you buddy!" Zuko could hear the two idiots high-fiving. "Just be careful, alright?" Chan added. "Whatever problems Zuko and Mai may seem to have, they always end up drifting back together." Maybe not this time, Zuko added mentally, feeling weighed down by rare feelings of regret.
"We'll see," Ruon Jian said. "Anyway, how did it go with Azula? Did you get everything sorted?" Zuko immediately perked up at the mention of his sister, hoping for some juicy rumor.
"Azula needed more time to decide what to do, but she will pay. She has no choice but to pay. I'm seeing her again after we're done here and I bet she'll have my money ready," Chan replied, sounding confident. Zuko was left guessing as to what Azula was paying Chan for, but he had his suspicions, and he'd harbored them for a while. Azula clearly had little genuine affection for Chan – or for anyone, she was surely too cold hearted to have feelings like normal people – but Ozai was always pushing very hard for both Zuko and Azula to be in a relationship, so Azula was probably with Chan just to appease their father. Maybe she was paying Chan to maintain their fake relationship.
"Hope it works out for you, bud," Ruon Jian said. "Every minute that she delays increases the risk of her discovering the truth, right?"
"Yeah, it's dicey," Chan replied, sounding a little worried. "The morning papers are already out in Ba Sing Se, so it's just a matter of time before someone shows them to Ozai. And then he's going to call Azula and that will probably be how she finds out."
"That's rough, buddy," Ruon Jian sighed. "At least the girl was hot, I hope."
"Oh, she was incredibly hot," Chan chuckled. "Once you see the pictures, you'll understand why I couldn't keep it in my pants. It's just so annoying that a pair of annoying paparazzi walked in on us. Now this sweet arrangement with Azula will be over, but I hope I can at least get one final payout before it all blows up."
"Well, I hope it works out for you, bud," Ruon Jian said. "Anyway, let's grab a pair of cold ones before you have to run again, huh?"
As the two idiots began to discuss banal things like beer and football, Zuko quickly snuck back into the kitchen, trying to process the information that had just fallen into his lap. So, Azula's relationship with Chan had indeed been a sham all this time, but now Chan had slept with some hot model and the photos of his indiscretion were about to leak. It was damn ballsy of him to try and get one last payout out of Azula before she found out and cut off his balls with a chef's knife.
Zuko got a hold of his phone and opened his contact list. His finger paused over the contact details for his father. Ozai would certainly find the news of being lied to all this time very interesting, and he would be absolutely livid with Azula for her trickery. This could very well be Zuko's best chance to reverse the course of history of having been the least favorite child for the past fifteen years or so.
Still, Zuko hesitated. Something about leaking these details about Azula's private life to Ozai felt gross. Azula would probably not hesitate before she destroyed him with something incriminating, but Zuko couldn't quite get himself to go through with this. At the end of the day, while Azula was a complete asshole, she was also his little sister, and she was being cheated on and scammed out of her money by this little punk ass bitch Chan, and Zuko could not stand for that.
"Zuko?" he heard his sister's voice on the phone after he had made the decision to call her. "This is unexpected. What's the occasion?"
"Azula," Zuko said simply. "Shut up and listen, because I have information for you, and I can assure you that you will find it very interesting."
Azula was sitting down in the office at The Northern Lights, browsing social media sites on her phone and cursing under her breath. At some point, she must have been swearing very loudly, because when the doors to the office opened, Katara and Suki entered with concerned looks on their faces.
"Is everything alright, Azula?" Katara asked worriedly.
"No, everything is most assuredly not alright, Katara," Azula hissed angrily. "I've been taken for a complete fool."
"What happened?" Suki asked.
"Come and take a look for yourselves," Azula said, beckoning the two girls closer and showing them her phone. She had just been reading a tabloid article about Chan's hookup with some dumb blonde, a no-name third grade wannabe actress who was probably looking for a scandal and the resulting publicity. The article was accompanied by several candid paparazzi shots of the couple passionately making out in Chan's car.
"Sounds like your fake boyfriend is not living up to his part of the deal," Suki remarked.
"And he had the cheek to show up here and demand more money?" Katara spoke angrily. "What a snake!"
"Yes, he was trying to use this limited window of time before the news broke to get more money from me," Azula nodded. "Needless to say, he's not going to see a single cent. As soon as he shows up, I'm going to give him a sound beating."
"I want to help," Suki announced.
"Me too," Katara said, looking very determined. "When is he coming back?"
"He's on his way," Azula replied. According to Zuko's text, Chan had left The Blue Spirit a few minutes earlier. It meant that Chan would arrive at The Northern Lights before the start of the service, and that certainly opened up some interesting possibilities. "I've got an idea, girls," Azula grinned wolfishly. "Instead of just beating him senseless, let's give him the fright of his life. This way I will make sure that he's too scared to ever tell the truth about our relationship, so… here's what we're going to do," Azula said, beckoning Suki and Katara closer.
Ten minutes later, when Chan entered the restaurant, Azula and her girls were ready to execute her plan of scaring Chan shitless. Katara directed Chan over to the office and he strode in confidently, flashing Azula one of his trademark grins that were supposed to impress her. "Have you had the time to think about my proposal, babe?" Chan got right down to business.
"I have," Azula nodded. "And I also have had the time to check up on the news from Ba Sing Se."
Chan's smile faded instantly. "So, you know," he sighed. "Still… considering everything that I could tell the papers about our relationship, I figured that you might want to be generous, anyway. After all, you can easily afford it."
"I will not be blackmailed, Chan, not by you, nor by anyone else," Azula spoke coldly.
"Blackmail? Who said anything about blackmail?" Chan laughed uneasily. "I was just suggesting a reasonable one-time donation before our paths part for good."
"There will be no blackmail and no donations, Chan," Azula said, rising from her seat and picking up a fierce looking meat tenderizer that she had borrowed from the kitchen. "And just to make sure that you don't get any ideas in the future, I will teach you a lesson not to mess with me. I think a broken elbow will do the trick. Get ready to sit out the next football season, bitch," Azula threatened, advancing on Chan with the meat tenderizer raised.
Chan let out a terrified scream and dashed out of the office, only to be confronted by Suki wielding her scary looking chef's knife. "Come here, little piggy, I'm going to bleed you dry," Suki grinned maniacally, making a swipe at Chan. Chan screamed again, scrambling away and dashing for the exit, but completely missing Katara as she broke her cover and emerged to smack Chan with a large rolling pin, sending him flying.
"My knee! My poor knee!" Chan wailed, rolling around on the floor. "My season has been ruined!"
"Well, that's what you get for messing with my girl Azula," Katara threatened, advancing on Chan and gripping the rolling pin. "You deserve to have your knees broken, you scheming bastard!"
Chan screamed in panic, scrambling up to his feet and hobbling towards the exit as fast as he could. "You lunatic lesbians are all completely insane!" he yelled as he made his way out on the street and retreating to the safety of his car.
"Agni, you crazy bitch! You agreed that we would just scare him!" Azula spoke incredulously, walking up to Katara.
"Well, I guess I lied about that," Katara scoffed, crossing arms on her chest and looking unimpressed. "Anyway, I think this will make for a more effective lesson."
"It's hard to disagree with that," Azula admitted. "Also, that was hot as fuck," she added, spontaneously pulling Katara in for a kiss.
"I thought I was pretty scary, too," Suki pouted.
"You definitely were," Azula agreed, only too happy to reward Suki with a kiss as well. These pleasant distractions were interrupted when Azula's phone suddenly rang, and she felt an instant spike of anxiety upon realizing that she was being called by her father. "Hello, father," Azula answered in a hurry. "It's good to hear from you," she added, watching Suki and Katara step aside, both of them looking conflicted, as always whenever Ozai was involved.
"Azula," Ozai spoke curtly. "I have been informed about the indiscretions of your boyfriend Chan."
"I know, father. In fact, I just spoke to Chan. He came all the way to Caldera City to… to apologize and beg forgiveness," Azula lied. "I threw him out. It's over between us."
"Good," Ozai said. "Do you need anything from me? I can ensure that Chan Takahashi's football career never takes off the ground."
"There's no need for that father," Azula said quickly. "I've already handled everything. Things are under control."
"Music to my ears," Ozai spoke, sounding pleased. "And Azula? Get over this quickly. My PA will email you with a list of eligible bachelors in Caldera City. I expect you to be dating one of them within a month."
"Y-yes, father," Azula cringed, fighting a sudden bout of nausea.
"Alright," Ozai said. He sounded slightly gentler now, but perhaps Azula was simply imagining something she wanted to hear. "Good job, Azula. You've handled this well. We'll talk later."
"Goodbye, father," Azula said as Ozai disconnected the call.
"What was that all about?" Katara asked, looking concerned. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes, everything is fine," Azula replied, trying to appear unaffected by the conversation with her father. "Anyway, let's get ready for the service. Hopefully everything will go smoothly, because I still have an evening of babysitting ahead of me…"
"Alright," Zuko said in a very business-like tone as he and Jet were crouching behind some foul-smelling garbage cans in the back alley. "I can hear someone stomping through the alley. It has to be this Hide guy."
"It better be him, there's only so much more of this smell that I can take," Jet groaned, pinching his nose. "Lately, I've spent way too much time around trash cans."
"One could even assume it's your natural habitat," Zuko chuckled, ignoring Jet's scowl. It was time to focus on the task at hand as their quarry entered the scene, heading straight for the nervously waiting On Ji.
"There you are, babe," Hide spoke in a monotone growl that suggested very limited intelligence. "You look so pretty. I'm so glad you realized there was no running away from me."
"I didn't invite you here because I planned for us to get back together," On Ji replied in a trembling voice. "I asked you to come here so that I could tell you face to face that it's all over. You're going to stop stalking me, is that clear?"
Hide let out a booming laughter. "And how do you intend to stop me?" he asked, sounding amused. "Your place is by my side, On Ji. I'm here to remind you of that. You will be coming with me now."
"I'm not going anywhere with you," On Ji snapped. She sounded scared, but still determined. "You won't find me as easy to intimidate as back in the Fire Fountain City. I have friends now, good friends willing to stand up for me."
"I don't see any of your friends around," Hide retorted.
"Well, you couldn't be more wrong!" On Ji threatened bravely. "Boys! Come out and give this asshole a sound trashing!"
Zuko and Jet jumped out of their hiding spot and prepared to charge Hide… until they actually laid eyes on their quarry and hesitated, Zuko suddenly experiencing second thoughts about this entire plan. "I feel like maybe some crucial details may have been omitted during the concoction of our plan," Jet remarked.
"What do you mean?" On Ji asked nervously.
"Details such as maybe mentioning that your ex-boyfriend is a seven-foot-tall brute with the physique of an orangutan?" Zuko said incredulously.
"That's right, boys," Hide grinned at them, rolling up his sleeves. "It's time for some ass kicking!" Zuko and Jet found themselves picked up with ease and thrown into a pile of trash cans.
"Alright, now I'm really pissed off," Jet growled, emerging from a pile of garbage with a banana peel stuck to his head. "Maybe it's a bad idea to fight this mountain of muscles, but maybe I just love acting on bad ideas. All I know is that I'm sick of being thrown into trash!" Jet yelled and ran at Hide. Hide threw a mighty punch, but Jet was alert to the danger and dodged the blow. It seemed that Hide had the strength and the size, but not necessarily the agility as Jet kept dancing around him, not really landing any punches, but also easily avoiding all of Hide's attacks.
Zuko had by now also crawled out of his trash can, standing by and waiting for his moment to join the fight. Hide was definitely becoming frustrated by Jet's evasive tactics. Instead of trying to hit Jet, Hide was now trying to grapple him. At one point, Jet barely managed to evade Hide's grasp by rolling through Hide's spread legs. Once behind his quarry, Jet did the ultimate dirty street fight maneuver by darting in and sinking his teeth into Hide's thigh.
Hide bellowed in pain and bent down, trying to reach in between his legs to grab Jet. This was Zuko's moment to strike. He picked up a pair of trashcan lids and rushed Hide. With Hide's head lowered, Zuko slammed the lids together almost like playing cymbals, smashing Hide's head between them and marveling at the oddly hollow sound it produced. Hide was way too tough to go down from one blow, but it was definitely enough to stun him. With Hide rendered helpless, Zuko just kept smashing the lids together. "I'm auditioning for a band, motherfucker!" Zuko yelled, and after a dozen or so blows, Hide finally slumped to the ground.
Both Jet and Zuko then fell upon their downed opponent and threw in a few more kicks and punches for good measure. When Hide was truly down and out, Jet pulled over one of the foul-smelling trash cans and emptied its contents on top of Hide. "There, perfect," he rubbed his hands, looking satisfied.
"It worked! I can't believe it worked!" On Ji exclaimed, looking thrilled and relieved. "You guys really pulled it off! You're my heroes!" She ran up to the boys, kissing both Zuko and Jet in turn. "I owe you both big time!"
"Don't worry about it, it was nothing," Zuko shrugged. He felt strangely elated after the fight, like he still had so much more of this excess energy that demanded release.
"Well, we don't want On Ji to feel indebted to us, do we?" Jet suggested with a playful wink. "It would be a real burden to carry, right?"
"Are you suggesting something?" On Ji asked, looking very curious.
"I was thinking that maybe we could all head over to my place and do a bit of celebrating," Jet said eagerly, for some reason looking at Zuko in particular.
"Hmm," On Ji mused thoughtfully. "Alright, I'm down for it. This guy," she pointed at the unconscious heap of trash. "Is not going to bother me anymore, so for the first time in years I actually feel truly free. That's worth celebrating, right?" she said, giving Zuko a particularly intense stare.
At that, everything finally clicked in place for Zuko and he realized just what was being suggested. "I suppose…" Zuko began, his thoughts suddenly pivoting to Mai and he experienced a moment of hesitation. But Mai had told him that they should hook up with other people, so it wasn't as if Mai was waiting for him back home. Earlier, Mai had left with Ty Lee and Ruon Jian, so she was probably hooking up with Ruon right now. There was really no reason why he couldn't hook up with On Ji.
Of course, there was also the matter of Jet being involved in this hookup, and that was something that made Zuko hesitate further. Still, as long as a girl was present, it couldn't be considered gay as far as Zuko was concerned. And he'd been curious about Jet for a while. Maybe this was a convenient way to explore that without it being gay. "Alright, I'm also in," Zuko eventually caved, much to the enthusiastic approval from both Jet and On Ji.
"Let's be on our way," On Ji said eagerly. "And let's make it clear… it's shower time before any celebrations can begin. If there's one thing that I find off-putting, it's my partners smelling like the insides of a trash can."
At the end of a rather unusual and entertaining day, Azula found herself in even more unusual circumstances, sitting in the small kitchen at Yue's apartment and sipping tea while leafing through a rather forgettable murder mystery book. In all honesty, it was probably not that the book was poorly written, but the unusual events of the day continued to distract Azula and push her towards reflecting upon everything that had happened.
Zuko having alerted her to Chan's trickery had been unexpected, because this certainly was information that he could have used against her. Then again, Azula had never felt motivated to use the rumors regarding her brother's sexuality against him. Azula simply didn't see the need to descend so low in order to maintain her status as the golden child, but she hadn't expected that Zuko would also choose the high road when an opportunity to snitch to their father presented itself. Azula definitely felt gratitude to her brother for telling her about Chan's clumsy little plot, but it wasn't a feeling that she earnestly enjoyed. It made Azula feel as if she owed Zuko a favor, and that did not sit well with her. The sooner she could rid herself of feeling indebted, the better.
Azula felt rather accomplished when thinking about her efforts as a babysitter. She had spent a good hour or so teaching Kya the basics of Pai Sho, refusing to grow frustrated when Kya struggled to remember everything she was being told. Azula had picked up the game very easily at the age of four, but she had enough self-awareness to realize that the same could not be expected of every child. The important thing was that Kya tried very hard because she obviously wanted to impress Azula, and so Azula made sure to lavish plenty of praise when Kya succeeded in remembering the basic moves.
Putting Kya to bed had also proved much easier than Azula had feared. Obviously, Kya had hoped to stay up longer and spend more time with her new favorite person in Azula, but she also didn't dare to protest when Azula announced that it was time for bed. In order to sweeten the deal, Azula had then read several chapters of her murder mystery book to help Kya fall asleep. Perhaps it was the greatest condemnation of the book that it had been very effective as a sleeping aid, and Kya was now sound asleep in her room.
It was a few minutes past eleven in the evening when Azula was alerted by scraping sounds as Yue unlocked the front door and entered the apartment. Azula was a little surprised because she hadn't expected Yue to return before midnight, but apparently the dinner date hadn't gone very well, because Yue entered the kitchen looking shaken and very upset.
"I don't think I need to ask if everything went well," Azula remarked.
"No kidding," Yue ground out. She seemed to be visibly shaking. "I am so mad I want to scream."
Azula briefly considered how to react to this unexpected situation. It seemed like Yue could do with a joint to calm her nerves, but unsurprisingly, marijuana wasn't something that Azula had thought to take with her for babysitting. Getting Yue to talk about what had happened was probably something that Katara would suggest, so Azula decided to go with that. Still, it seemed like Yue needed something to steady her nerves first. "Do you have something stronger to drink?" Azula asked. "Let's pour ourselves a glass and then you can tell me what exactly happened."
Yue nodded wordlessly, walking up to a kitchen cupboard and retrieved a bottle of brandy, pouring some for herself and Azula. They clinked their glasses together and emptied them in one go. Azula winced as the amber liquid slid down the back of her throat, leaving behind an unpleasant burning sensation. She was not at all a fan of brandy, but for Yue's sake she was willing to tolerate it.
"I should probably start by explaining that when my father first extended the olive branch to me, he had the following stipulations. I'd have to marry someone respectable from the Northern tribe, with heavy implications that it should be Hahn. And also, I would have to give up Kya because my father would not acknowledge a child born out of wedlock as a part of the family," Yue explained once they had sat down at the kitchen table. "Well, he has now softened his stance," she added, clenching her fists.
"Softened how?" Azula asked.
"He's now willing to accept Kya as a part of the family, as long as I agree to marry Hahn and unite our families. And Hahn has also graciously agreed to raise Kya as his own," Yue scowled. "This is just… incredibly gross to me. The idea of accepting my child is being tossed around like some great concession! They still clearly look down on Kya because her father is from the wrong branch of the tribe, or because we weren't married at the time. Tell me they're not the worst!"
Azula paused before answering. She thought briefly what Ozai's reaction would be if she was in Yue's situation, stuck with a child from a partner that her father disapproved of. Ozai would probably disown her on the spot, and perhaps he would even go as far as send men to take care of her partner. Yue clearly thought that her father was behaving like a monster, so what did this comparison say about Ozai Nakamura? It was a very uncomfortable thought that Azula didn't want to face, but the truth was that lately, Azula was starting to evaluate her relationship with her father more and more critically.
"I'll be honest… I'm not the best person to ask for an opinion on parental relationships," Azula replied quietly. "All I know is that I hate to see you upset, Yue. If there's anything I can do to make you feel better, please, tell me."
"Well… maybe there is something that you can do," Yue replied, rising and pushing her chair aside. There was a rare steely resolve in her baby blue eyes as she sat astride Azula's lap and leaned in to kiss Azula with unusually aggressive desperation. Pulling away after several intense kisses, Yue leaned closer to Azula's ear. "Stay with me tonight," she whispered.
Azula shuddered from the raw need in Yue's voice, and as they resumed their kisses, she knew that there was no way she could ever turn down Yue's request.