Seventh Year, Part 3

Skyrah wished she could skip this part and be in Ireland with her grandmother and mother, receiving roses, hugs, kisses, and, most of all, words of comfort. To break up with Severus was hard enough. To reject his proposal on the same day was cruel. She started with the latter: the engagement that wouldn't come true.

"I thought you wanted to spend forever together, with me. Our crows…" he said, his voice low and shaky, fragile, as his heart was at that moment. "You love me. I know you do. Help me understand, please. Have I done something wrong?"

She shook her head. "My father..."

Of course, he chastised himself. "We have a few years to work out a solution before he arranges a marriage for you. I only want a promise to hold on to that one day we'll be husband and wife if that is what you yearn for as well."

"It is, but that matters not. I can't marry you."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You got angry when I told you that you should have said yes to Mulciber. You asked me not to give up on you so easily and not to think of you with a guy that isn't me, and now you're telling me that your wanting to marry me 'matters not'?"

"I was still hopeful back when I asked you that, unlike now. We must accept the reality even if it's the hardest thing we've ever done."

He shook his head stubbornly. "There must be a way to stay together and safe. I'm willing to keep the engagement a secret for a while – heck, for years, if we must."

"Severus," she started in a pleading tone, but he continued speaking, and it was making her very anxious. His denial, his willingness to trick her father, had been phases she'd experienced herself. The final phase consisted in the conclusion that she'd never win. He hadn't reached that phase yet.

"We could flee to another country," he proposed. "I'd follow you anywhere, and so would your mother and grandmother."

"He'd find us, torture us all, and ask me to kill you like he asked me to kill Faith." She couldn't bring herself to regret the slip of the tongue. Perhaps he'd understand the gravity of the situation and make the upcoming breakup a tad easier to deal with. So she told herself.

"He asked his own child to kill her best friend before actually killing the girl himself?"

"Father didn't kill her."

"He poisoned her. You…" Told me, Severus wanted to say. But had she?

She was poisoned.

She ended up dead.

Never had Skyrah explicitly said her father had done it.

"Years ago, you deduced my boggart is myself. In truth, my boggart is myself with blood on my hands. I've got the potential to become him because I've already killed."

Severus wouldn't have believed her if it weren't for her state. He ought to have been afraid. He didn't show any fear. "What happened?"

"I poisoned Faith. What else do you need to know? The date and place? How I got away with murder at the age of twelve?"

"You're the kindest, most empathic person I know. If you killed someone you cared for, there must've been a reason. I'd like you to tell me."

"Why? To prove I'm a monster?"

"To prove the contrary."

She swallowed hard and looked away. His belief in her was touching, yet she didn't believe in herself.

"My heart, please tell me."

The memory of Skyrah being suffocated by anxiety whenever the topic of Faith came up was fresh in his mind. Her requiring occlumency to reveal the truth was equally unsurprising and unsettling. He'd almost forgotten how good at the art she was, how impassive her face, which was always full of emotions when she looked at him, could become. She explained the tale in a neutral tone despite the heaviness of the theme: her father had disapproved of Faith for her blood status. He'd threatened Skyrah with torturing Faith's parents before killing Faith if Skyrah didn't accept to murder her best friend. At twelve, Skyrah had already known that asking Faith to run away would result badly: the discovery of Skyrah's betrayal would be fatal to her friend and family. Thus Skyrah had brewed a potion, hard to track even for coroners, which caused a quick, painless death. Severus's face softened at the confession that she'd hidden the poison in a Tolipan Blemish Blitzer jar, suddenly understanding her aversion for the potion against acne.

"I poured it into her drink and made it look as if she'd choked on food, an accidental death. Nobody doubted a distressed girl, her best friend. I should be in Azkaban," she concluded, the occlumency walls slowly going down.

"Of course not!"

"I murdered a child."

"You were a child yourself, incapable of protecting yourself, let alone somebody else. She was dead the moment your father found out you'd befriended a muggle-born. The murderer is your father. Not you. You might as well have been imperioused. You were abused, my heart. Once you realize that, you'll beat your boggart."

She sought his arms, no trace of occlumency concealing her emotions anymore. The thought alone of what she had been put through at such a young age made him want to cry, yet he held back his tears. He wanted to be her rock now, and so he kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back soothingly just as she'd done to him many times in the past.

"I fail to understand why the aurors haven't caught your father yet," he said when he sensed she was calm enough. "He's only one wizard."

"But very powerful."

"So are you: a powerful, cunning witch who's already outsmarted him. If anybody can beat him, that is you."

That wasn't her opinion. Anyway, she stayed silent in his arms until her face dried. A deep inhale, and she said the words she'd rehearsed for many nights: "With you, I've been truly happy for the first time in my life, but I'm not meant to be happy. We can't continue seeing each other, not even as friends."

"Are you…" Merlin, just saying it made his heart ache, but he needed her confirmation. He pulled away enough to see her face. It was a sight he abhorred: her expression was that of pure pain. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Yes."

A fraught silence ensued. He understood why she'd said no to becoming his wife. Regardless, he'd assumed they'd still be together one way or another. His eyes watered.

"Skyrah, don't..."

"I'm sorry. It's over."

That, however, didn't mean she'd stopped caring for him. In fact, she was holding him as she did when he broke down after the mudblood fiasco.

Let me comfort you.

Comforting him. That was what she was doing. It wasn't only Severus, who was weeping. Her cries were slowly shattering his already frail heart. Even in her affliction, he was her priority.

"Why are you doing this to us?"

"Because I'm like Mulciber," she croaked, hugging him desperately. "I haven't got the power to choose with whom I want to spend the rest of my life."

He extracted himself from her embrace, making his hands into fists. "Don't let your father have that power over you."

"He hurts me and my loved ones if I don't obey his every whim! His cruelty knows no limits, and I'm becoming him, a slow but unstoppable process. It's in my blood."

The way she kept comparing herself to her father was even more disturbing than being reminded of the severe punishments she had faced, including the cruciatus curse. He took a moment to take a deep breath and unclench his fists. He needed to comfort her now, not show his anger.

"I see nothing of him in you. The last word I'd use to describe you is cruel."

"I kept from you that we wouldn't be together by the end of the school year. Even when you asked me what would become of us after graduation, I kept my mouth shut. I'm hurting you more than Potter and Tobias did. How can you think I'm not cruel?"

"Because you aren't."

"Aren't you listening to me?"

"Attentively. You haven't told me why you kept the truth from me."

Skyrah looked away. To her, the reason mattered little. The truth would help Severus cope with the breakup, though, or so her mother had said. In the end, she confessed, "I wished to spare you the pain of knowing our relationship would end up in heartbreak. I thought it was the kind thing to do. It wasn't, was it? It hurts more now. No matter what, I was destined to bring pain into your life. The Ice Serpent never died."

"Stop thinking you're a bad person. You aren't. All you wanted was to protect me." He paused to gather his thoughts. "If you've known we'd break up, what did you plan for your future? What will happen when your father introduces you to your fiancé?"

"I haven't planned that far ahead."

"You should."

"Should I?" she asked with a half-snort half-cry. "I don't know if Father will break through my occlumency, find out I don't believe in any of his bullshit, and kill me right after graduation. I don't know if I'll finally break and let him brainwash me this summer."

"That won't happen. You've got your mother and grandmother. You've got me. We'll help you, and we'll find a way to stop him together." He leaned in to rest his forehead against hers, his thumb caressing her chin. "I won't let you give up on us and your happiness. Not yet. Not when it hurts like this. If we can't hide from him nor run away, we must win him over. It's something I've mulled over."

"There's no way–" "Would he approve of me if I were a Death Eater?" they spoke at the same time.

Skyrah pulled away from his touch. "That isn't an option to consider."

"I've been seriously considering it for some time now." Even as he said it, his head was down, for he couldn't take the look of dismay on her face.

"Why would you? Don't you love Evans?"

I love you more, he almost voiced. "My decision would benefit us all."

"Decision? Have you…" She paled. "Tell me that you haven't done anything but consider it yet, Severus."

He couldn't.

"Why?" she asked, and the disappointment in her voice shattered him. "Why haven't you mentioned this to me before?"

"I wanted to."

"After I became Mrs Snape?" she asked in a mocking tone which cut right through him.

"When the timing was right. When you finally brought up our future. You never did."

"Because we don't have a future." She was breaking his heart bit by bit, and hers, too. He felt like she was being so cold to prove her point, to prove she was mean and cruel and just like her father, and so it'd be better for him to forget her. "Death Eaters hate people like Evans and Faith. You aren't like them. I'd never forgive myself if you became a Death Eater because of me."

He raised his head, though his voice was still low. "What if it wasn't only for the chance to stay together? If you don't pick a side, you're condemned to have two enemies. How's that wise?"

"That's the side you choose? The people who'd kill Evans and innocent muggles?"

"I'm trying to win your father's approval to keep you in my life and survive the war. I'd be able to keep Lily safe if I knew what the Death Eaters planned, maybe even ask for favors if I proved myself useful to them."

"You'd be anything but safe with them! They're criminals!"

"Who've never tried to kill me!" he cried, matching her volume.

"And Professor Dumbledore's side has?"

"YES!"

Their screaming gave place to silence which would've been pure hadn't it been for their harsh breathing.

"What happened? When?"

"I was sworn to secrecy."

At first, she furrowed her brow, deeply confused. Then she narrowed her eyes, pensive. "Black," she thought out loud. "He said you'd been sworn to secrecy when he found out I knew about Lupin's condition. That can only mean…" Her eyes widened. She'd put two plus two together, and the result was perturbing. "Listen to me: it must have been an accident. I can't stand Lupin, but I sincerely doubt he'd put himself in the position of harming a student."

"I agree on Lupin, but it was no accident."

This could only mean one thing: Lupin's friends had been involved in the attack, the orchestrators, without Lupin knowing. Their fifth year had been the worst in terms of bullying.

"They went as far as trying to kill you?" she asked, shocked.

"They call themselves heroes when they're a bunch of assassins. Tell me, what's the difference between both sides? The Malfoys, Mulciber, Avery, Rosier… They all have had my back despite my impure blood. They've shown more kindness to me than Professor Dumbledore. I'd rather fully support them and my kind, not muggles."

"Why are you talking like that? Do you hate muggles?"

"It's easy for you not to hate them. You don't know them. Your grandfather, whom you've never met, was the muggle in your family. What you know about him is that he abandoned your pregnant grandmother. What does that say about muggles?"

"One muggle doesn't represent them all, the same way one wizard doesn't represent us all."

"Your grandfather is one of many. Most boys and girls from my primary school were no better than Potter. They'd bully me for being different. Not all of them, of course, but never did I get a compassionate hand. Petunia, Lily's sister, made Lily feel like a freak. Their parents didn't help much. They'd tell Lily to be patient with Petunia and not talk much about magic around her. As if magic were wrong or unnatural. And don't get me started with my alcoholic father."

"Good and bad people exist. Whether they can or can't do magic has nothing to do with it. Professor Dumbledore made a ghastly mistake. Potter and his friends should pay for what they did to you, but you must remember the other side isn't just him and Potter. The other side believes human beings deserve respect."

"They should start practicing what they preach."

"So should You-Know-Who's!" Her nails dug into his suit jacket. "Do you think he'll give you glory and power? He'll use you, even more knowing your blood status. He loathes anything muggle-related."

"If the blood status is so important to him, why does he accept half-bloods and even muggle-borns into his circle? It's uncommon, but it has happened. Lucius told me."

"There are twenty-eight pure-blood families in this country. Considering not all of them are blood supremacists, You-Know-Who needs non-pure-blood witches and wizards to win the war and install a new regime. Don't think he'll treat half-bloods and muggle-borns nicely if he ever gets in power. If you become a Death Eater, You-Know-Who'll control your every move until you aren't of use anymore and so gets rid of you in the worst of ways. Is that what you want?"

"You're just repeating what Potter and the rest say, what Dumbledore wants you to believe."

"I've seen it, Severus. I've lived it."

"What do you mean? You aren't marked."

"I don't need a bloody mark to know what I'm talking about. If you don't want to ruin your life, you'll forget about this Death Eater nonsense."

"How else can I get your father's approval? I just want to be with the only person who loves me. Nothing else matters."

"As long as my father lives, we can't be together."

"As long as he lives…" he repeated, pensive. "Tell me about the poison you used on Faith. I'll brew it and kill him for everything he's done to you. I'll avenge Faith's death."

Her eyes dilated with shock."You aren't a murderer."

"I'd turn into one if it meant we could be together."

She became stern. "My father wouldn't easily fall for poison, and even if he did, I wouldn't let you. Don't you see the mess I became after Faith's death? Killing splits your soul. You won't sacrifice your soul for us."

"Which brings me back to becoming a Death Eater instead. Lucius has already talked to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named about me. I could be marked soon if I prove my worth."

Her world fell apart for now that Voldemort knew Severus's name, he wouldn't let a potioneer genius well-liked by the Malfoys out of his claws.

"So this is it: I won't only be your ex but your enemy." At his frown, she elaborated, "My mother, my grandmother, and I agreed that we'd become allies of the Order of Phoenix after my graduation. I'm on Professor Dumbledore's side, just like Potter and Evans."

There was a pregnant pause. The only reason it didn't feel like betrayal was that she hadn't known about the secrecy vow Dumbledore had compelled him to take when she and her family had made that decision.

"You forgot to mention your intentions to me too," he observed bitterly.

"I knew we wouldn't be together by the time that happens. I'm not planning on becoming a member, anyhow, merely an ally."

"Because that's much safer," he replied sarcastically. "You-Know-Who supporters, with or without the mark, outnumber the Order's members and allies. Dumbledore won't make it. Our real beliefs about blood and muggles come after survival. People are dying on both sides, yet only one can win. It is easy to guess which one if you read the Daily Prophet. Do you honestly want to be on the losing side after the war is over? Choose You-Know-Who if only to live."

"I can't." And you wouldn't ask that of me if you knew the whole truth. "Professor Dumbledore's my only hope."

"Your only hope deserted me."

"He's the only one You-Know-Who fears, the only one powerful and intelligent enough to defeat him. If I can help Professor Dumbledore in any way, I will."

"You'd rather choose that biased, old wizard than me?"

"You'd rather choose You-Know-Who than me."

A slap would have hurt less and been less surprising than her response. Their disagreements during their dating time had never been this serious. It was a new situation, one neither would have ever wanted to experience at all. To Severus, it felt worse than his past fights with Lily.

"Don't. Don't say that. It isn't true. The main reason I chose to get the mark was to persuade your father that we should be together. You, Skyrah, you're the only one who matters to me. Everything I do, I do it for you. Until today, I thought you did the same for me."

"I do. Choosing Dumbledore is my way to help you even if you don't see it. You-Know-Who will trap you in his web. I don't want you to experience the terror and pain, the punishments and helplessness."

"Lucius says only those who deserve it get punished. Just because a relative of yours, a Carrow, has gone through that–"

"We haven't got any kind of contact with the Carrows and know nothing about them other than they're loyal Death Eaters."

Severus frowned. "You told me your father isn't a Death Eater, and now you say you have no kind of relationship with the Carrows. How come you claim to know so much about the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who?" Her silence got to his nerves, yet he did his best to control them. "I know we're finding out scary truths about each other. I know your heart is shattering like mine. But you can trust me. Please tell me."

"I can't. I made an unbreakable vow."

And Severus wouldn't put her in the position of breaking such a vow.

"But maybe…" she whispered to herself, catching his attention.

Skyrah walked away from him so that they stood at a considerable distance. When he made to follow her, she raised her palm, and so he stayed where he was, confused and with a knot in his stomach.

"Father only accepted my change of school to have me closer to him, an easier target to control. My mother explained everything to Professor Dumbledore and begged for his protection. He's given it to me so far. Father knew Hagrid and Professor Slughorn would recognize me, too, and safely assumed they wouldn't dare speak a word. I can't tell you what the headmaster, Hagrid, and Professor Slughorn know. Not to tell anyone in Hogwarts about my father's identity. That's what I pledged. The vow said nothing about showing or others guessing."

"Skyrah, don't! If you don't remember the vow's exact words, you could–"

His warning was cut off when a two-headed snake, identical to the one from their duel back in their fourth year, was conjured. Severus remained alert, ready to cast the vanishment charm if needed, as the snake approached him with its fangs out.

A hiss.

It didn't come from the snake, which turned its heads towards Skyrah.

"The boy won't attack you. Please don't attack him either. He's got a golden heart and cares about me. I invoked you because I need to prove a point. Would it be okay if I petted you to reassure him he's safe with you?"

The two heads nodded.

"Thanks."

Skyrah, still not looking at Severus, sat down and began to pet the snake, her eyes on Severus. He was gaping. There was deep fear in his eyes, although not directed to her. He'd imagined her in a dress more elegant and prettier than that she'd worn for the Ball, with a smile brighter than that she'd given him when she'd played with his patronus for the first time.

The ugly truth struck hard.

Severus knew only of one wizard that spoke Parseltongue, an inherited ability. He cried more than when Tobias would beat Eileen. More than the day he lost Lily's friendship. More than at any time in his life, on his knees, with shaky shoulders and fat tears rolling down his face. She vanished the serpent and pulled him into her arms, rocking him. He croaked a chain of broken 'sorries'.

"I was willing to–" A sob cut him off. He wasn't unfamiliar with the sentiment of self-loathing and yet, he'd never felt this disgusted with himself. "I betrayed the person that matters the most to me."

"And I forgive you. You didn't know, Severus."

He shook his head. Being gifted her forgiveness was one thing. Forgiving himself was an entirely different one. The Irish lullaby echoed in the room, her voice as soothing as ever. They both needed the peace it brought.

"I'll make things right," he said once he got his sobs and tears under control. "I'll tell Lucius I'm not interested in getting the dark mark anymore. He'll help me. He's always helped me."

"It's too late now. Father wouldn't risk having a Potions prodigy possibly fighting against him. He'd rather find you and kill you, or kidnap you and imperious you so that you work for him. You must join him. There's no way out. He's an accomplished legilimens. If he learns that we've dated, he'll torture and kill you. I must obliviate you; maybe even ask my mother to obliviate me."

"Don't you dare!" he roared. "Don't you dare erase from my memory the only good thing in my life! Don't you dare erase your life, Skyrah! Existing isn't enough."

"What else can we do? Wait until one of us dies?"

"There has to be a way. We should make the most of the worst."

"There's nothing good about being marked. You'll be surrounded by Death Eaters, close to him."

She kept hugging Severus, guided by her need to appear strong, yet she'd never felt weaker, not even under the curciatus curse. The life of a Death Eater was the last she'd wished for Severus.

"Surrounded by Death Eaters and close to him…" he repeated, deep in thought. Suddenly, he laughed and kissed her cheek. "That's it! There's a way to make this right: I'll spy for the Order."

Her eyes rounded. "Absolutely not!"

"Hear me out. You've been deceiving your father since you were a child, telling him what you must to please him while maintaining your beliefs. I can do the same. You'd be my teacher, an excellent one."

"Severus, please."

"You say Dumbledore is your hope. If I have to swallow my pride and offer to spy for him, I will. I'd do anything to help bring down the one who's abused you all your life."

"Do you want to wind up dead?!"

"I don't want to live if it's without you!"

Skyrah resisted the urge to just forget about the nasty fight and kiss him and tell him that she'd never leave him. But she couldn't. They'd broken up, despite his insistence not to give up. It'd give him mixed signals, and she didn't wish to play with his heart.

"I exist without you, too. Let me do this. If I must become a Death Eater, it'll be under my own terms, as a spy. Maybe that's what the Order needs to win. I need to fight for the future I want, and that future has you in it."

"You're complicating everything."

"What's the alternative? Serving your father? Not proving myself useful to him and getting myself killed? You said it yourself: I must join him."

Skyrah shook her head. None of the future paths were bright. "Let somebody else spy. Just do whatever you have to do to survive. Keep your head low. Don't attract attention to yourself."

"If You-Know-Who wins, you'll suffer immensely. I can't allow that; I can't help him win. A spy in Dumbledore's circle could make the difference. Do you understand why I must do this even if the odds are against me?"

She gulped loudly, holding back tears. She wanted to deny it, to tell him she didn't understand it, but that'd be a lie. Her soul understood his desire to be with her. Her mind saw his proposal as a logical solution. It was her heart the one responsible for her revulsion towards the idea. She imagined it: Severus working for the wizard who'd failed him, treading a land of constant danger, surrounded by those who, were they to discover his true intentions, wouldn't hesitate to bring him to Voldemort…

"I don't want you to be a spy. Severus, please, don't do this," she begged. "Spies are heroes. Heroes die. I won't see you dead if I can help it."

"A detail is escaping your Horned Serpent mind," he said fondly. "The heroes that tend to die belong in Gryffindor. Slytherins always bear in mind self-preservation."

"Don't bring Hogwarts Houses into this. My father's sharp and malicious. If he sees right through you—"

"Right through a poor, half-blood boy with a desire to be respected once and for all? Lucius's protégé? The wizard Mulciber has accepted in his circle of friends and trusted ones? I can play my cards well."

A forehead kiss coupled with his soothing tone calmed her down enough for her to think a bit more clearly.

"The tiniest mistake could be your death sentence. He's a dangerous wizard, more so than Grindelwald ever was. Think about this carefully, please."

"I have. I know what he's capable of doing to his daughter. I don't expect him to treat his followers better. The danger is worth it if there's a chance to help bring him down."

"I despise the idea of you becoming a spy. I'll support you if you choose this, but I wish you weren't forced to do this at all. I'm terrified," she croaked. "When I told you I wanted to be your girlfriend, I didn't know that it'd lead to this. I only meant to make you happy, the happiest boy in Scotland," she added with a fond yet sad smile. "I meant to love you."

"You did it, my heart. You've loved me so beautifully."

He pulled her into his chest. At first, she made to put some distance between them, but the moment his hands rubbed her back, she was unable to resist him. His touch, she craved. She'd lived with it for a long time, and she wasn't ready to give up on it yet even if she must. His hand lifted her head by the chin so that they'd lock gazes. She didn't realize she'd been silently crying until he dried her tears, his touch gentle and loving. Slowly, he inclined his head. Their noses brushed. Their lips nearly met, and then she put her palms on his chest.

"We can't."

"Skyrah, please. I know you thought we had to break up, but—"

"I've got yet another reason to break up with you if you're to become a spy. Maybe it's for the best. We might not be right for each other in the end. There could be another person for you, someone who could give you what I can't and who wouldn't put you in danger. I'd be happy for you if you were happy."

His feelings of offense were clear in his voice as he spoke, "I don't want another woman. I want you. Only you, and I don't want to lose the woman I so desire to marry. Crows mate for life. I'll never be satisfied with anyone else. Nobody will love me like you do. I won't love anybody like I love you."

She'd already known his love for her was genuine and deep. It was impossible not to know by the way he looked at her, smiled at her bad jokes, and made love to her. Yet it was the first time he'd uttered the words, and so, she was stunned, and tears quickly gathered in her eyes.

"Did you hear me? I love you too! I love you! I love you!"

He kept raising his voice until he was shouting. And then she was kissing him with a hunger she'd seldom shown, with a passion she'd kept bottled throughout the entire conversation and that was now spilling uncontrollably. He broke the kiss to catch his breath and kept his arms around her, though the grip was loose. They stared at each other.

"Skyrah."

Just her name. His voice filled with so much desire. He could have told her that he needed to be one with her one last time. He could have taken his jacket off and started unbuttoning his shirt, maybe even lifted her ball gown up to her waist and kissed her neck. But he hadn't done that. He'd only said her name with the longing she realized she felt for him, too. She rested her forehead against his, breathing harshly. If she was going to break up with him, she needed to touch him one last time, taste him, be filled by him. She pronounced his name as well, pouring all her emotions into it, and he understood.

They both needed it.

A bittersweet farewell.

A moment in which only their bodies spoke.

Soon they were completely nude, pressing skin against skin, kissing every inch and scar, sucking and licking and nibbling and scratching, leaving marks on purpose to later feel like they still had a part of each other with them. Their primal emotions completely took over them. Sounds of groans, sighs, moans and I-love-yous filled the Room. Neither noticed the floor was uncomfortable without any cushioning charms nor did the Room reckon they needed a mattress.

She was the first to come. Severus followed a few thrusts later, and went limp on top of her, with his face buried in her chest. It was the same position they had ended in after losing their virginities. Only euphoria and relief had got them teary-eyed while the feeling in their chests was dreadful now. He began to shake, cries escaping his lips, tears falling on her breasts. She cried too (she hadn't stopped throughout the love-making) and caressed his hair.

"Do you think that, if I pretended not to love you and proved my worth to your father, he'd accept me as your partner?" asked Severus.

"He'll want his most faithful Death Eater for me."

"I can become his most faithful Death Eater."

"You'd have to prove his loyalty in an extreme way. It'd leave you scarred."

"If it led me to you—"

"You won't pay for me, do you hear me?" she asked strictly. "You won't. I need to protect this." Her hand slipped to the place in his chest where she could feel his heartbeat. "It's beautiful and don't want it to suffer more. You've suffered all your life. What will you do? Kidnap innocent people? Torture them to insanity? Kill them slowly? No, Severus. Spy, but don't you dare attempt to become his most loyal follower."

Severus shut his eyes and basked in the sensation of her warm palm on his skin.

"I accepted that you will become a spy. Now you must accept that, for that to happen, we can't see each other. I can't be your girlfriend, or I'd put you at even more risk. I lost my friend Faith. I can't lose you. Please say you understand."

"It hurts," he croaked.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry," she said, rubbing his back. "We wouldn't be in this situation if we'd been more honest with each other. I knew we'd make mistakes, being our first relationship. I just didn't know how serious they'd be. Both of us tried our best to make each other happy and stay together, and yet–"

"Sh. Hush, my heart. I regret nothing about my time with you other than it must come to an end."

"Me too. You've been the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me."

Severus kissed her shoulder. "Can we wait until graduation to make the breakup official? I don't want these last days we can have together to go to waste."

She agreed.

They spent another hour in the Room of Requirement before gathering the courage to go to the headmaster's office. That day Dumbledore gained a magnificent spy: one who'd die for the cause because he'd die for his love.

...

A/N: It's a very emotionally-draining chapter, but have faith in me, please.