Author's Note: Last year, I wrote Rosawatts family Christmas fluff. This year, I wrote Rosawatts family Christmas angst. Enjoy! ^_^

Winter Blues

Neil adored his little girl, he really did, but there were moments—such as the one going on right now—when the less rosy side of having a child decided to rear its ugly head. It was three days before Christmas, and he was in the middle of a toy store with Grace screaming at the top of her lungs because he didn't say yes to buying her a toy. And Eva wasn't around because she was busy squeezing in some last-minute Christmas shopping while they were in between clients.

Most people walking by gave Neil a dirty look, as if to say, Do something about your brat, and if he hadn't spent the last several years doing his best to not swear around Grace, he would've told them they didn't know shit about his daughter. It wasn't like she threw tantrums every day—in fact, up until very recently, Grace had been her normal, sweet, happy self. But now, for the last few weeks, she'd been back-talking him and Eva and pitching hissy fits whenever she didn't get her way, things she hadn't done since she was a toddler, and only God and the Devil knew why.

With his heart hammering in his chest, Neil picked his screaming, kicking daughter up and carried her out of the store. He made a beeline for the nearest bench, sat her down on it, and knelt before her.

"Grace," Neil said, forcing his voice to stay calm even as his fingers tingled and his stomach churned, "calm down."

"You promised!" Grace screamed, tears pouring down her face. "You promised, you promised!"

"I promised we could go to the toy store while Mama shopped. I didn't promise you a toy."

"Liar!" Grace shouted. She angrily scrubbed at her eyes as she glared at her father.

"What the cabbage is going on here?"

Neil turned to look up at Eva, as relieved to see her standing beside him as he once was to see her after fruitlessly trying to find her in the memory machine during the Colin Reeds case. Maybe even more so.

"Grace's throwing a tantrum over a toy," he told her.

"Grace Noelle Watts," Eva scolded, frowning sternly at their daughter, "you're not a two-year-old. Stop acting like it."

That only made Grace wail louder, and Neil felt a lump form in his throat as he stood and took the shopping bag from his wife while she grabbed Grace's hand. Eva marched their crying daughter through the mall, Neil holding on to her shoulder as much to keep some sanity as to show support. Unfortunately, they had to pass the toy store on their way out, which caused Grace to dig her heels in, trying to break free from Eva's grip.

"Lemme go!" Grace yelled, her free arm stretching towards the display of toys in the window. Wordlessly, Neil picked her up again, giving Eva back the shopping bag as she let go of their daughter.

Neil had been shoved off of memory-constructed objects, he'd half-dangled from the saddle of an out-of-control virtual horse, and he'd witnessed a nightmarish version of Faye, but having to lift a squirming, whining, and howling six-year-old girl was easily one of the scariest things that'd ever happened to him. With how much Grace was wiggling in his grasp, he could only think it was his Christmas miracle for this year when she didn't end up knocking off his glasses or kicking him in the groin.

By the time they made it to their car, Grace's struggling had stopped and her crying was more subdued. Eva buckled their daughter into her car seat and closed the door, staring at Neil wearily.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Neil asked.

"That we get home as soon as possible and you discipline Grace for misbehaving?"

Neil grimaced. "I was thinking we go into a forest and find a fancy mansion with a magical time-travelling bathroom so we can prevent Grace from misbehaving in the first place."

Eva shook her head. "I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."

"That's just a nice way of saying I'm doomed."

"Neil, come on." Eva wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. "One of these days, Grace'll thank you for putting your foot down."

Or she'll hate me forever, Neil thought gloomily as he pressed his hands into Eva's sides.

Traffic was hell, because of course it was. It took Eva almost thirty minutes just to drive out of the mall's parking lot. The sound of Grace's crying alone was enough for a ringing to fill Neil's ears. By the time they were halfway home, Grace had stopped crying, but she also started kicking the back of Neil's seat.

"Stop that, Grace," he said, his stomach roiling again. The continued thumps from behind him confirmed his daughter wasn't listening.

"Grace," Eva snapped.

"You're mean!" Grace shouted, kicking the seat as hard as she could.

Neil clenched his teeth—the nasty urge to throw up was getting worse. "Pull over."

If Eva had any questions, she didn't ask them as she pulled the car over and jerked to a stop. As soon as she shifted into park, Neil unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car and into the light rain that had just started falling. He made it several paces away before he doubled over, his hands on his knees. He took deep, shaky breaths of the cold winter air and waited for the nausea to subside.

At that moment, there were two things Neil wanted more than anything: one, for Grace to magically start behaving so he maybe wouldn't have to punish her when they got home, and two, to know why she was acting out so much in the first place. He and Eva had tried asking Grace if there was something wrong—was a bully bothering her? Was she bored in school?—but she always insisted she was fine. They talked to Ruth and Grace's teacher, and both said the same thing—that Grace was a delight and they didn't see any problems with her. So was she mad at Neil and Eva specifically? But if that was it, why wouldn't Grace just say that? She sure wasn't shy about voicing everything else that hacked her off lately.

After a moment or two, Neil walked back to the car. Eva rolled her window down, peering out at him in concern.

"Are you okay?" she wanted to know.

"I don't think I'm gonna hurl now," he answered. "Does that count?"

Eva didn't reply as Neil returned to the passenger's seat. Before she put the car into gear, she reached out to take his hand, which was fisting anxiously on his thigh, and give it a quick, reassuring squeeze.

Grace went on kicking Neil's seat soon after Eva resumed driving, and only a sharp scolding from her mother made her stop—and caused her to burst into tears again. Chills ran through Neil's body despite the heat blasting from the air conditioner, but at least no new wave of queasiness rose from his stomach. Soon enough, Grace wore herself out from crying and stayed quiet for the rest of the drive home. She didn't even protest when Neil unhooked her belt and lifted her from her car seat shortly after Eva pulled into the driveway.

They were barely through the front door when Grace tried to run off, but Eva caught her by the arm and held her in place.

"Into the living room, young lady," Eva said. "It's time for a talk."

She steered Grace out of the entryway and into the living room, and after a brief pause, Neil reluctantly followed. More like it's time to be the tough dad, he thought, whether I like it or not.

Grace took a seat on the couch, staring unhappily at her lap. Eva stood in front of her, her arms crossed and a frown on her face. Neil sat down next to Grace, turned towards her.

"Grace?" Eva asked after a moment of silence. "Is there anything you'd like to say to your father? An apology, maybe?"

Grace didn't reply, nor did she look up from her lap.

"C'mon, Grace, you know I don't bite," Neil said, bending his head to try to get a look at his daughter's face. "I'm not gonna yell at you, or put you in timeout, or send you to your room, or—"

"Neil," Eva interrupted, her voice reproachful.

"I'm getting there, Eva." Neil lifted his head, his eyes still on Grace as he placed a hand on her shoulder. She started a bit, but didn't pull away. "Hun, is there something going on? Is that why you've been so upset?"

"I'm fine," Grace said, a little too quickly.

"Are you sure, princess? Are you really, really sure there's nothing we need to know that you're not telling us?"

"Nothing's wrong, Daddy," she insisted, shrugging Neil's hand off her shoulder and finally looking up at him. Her mouth was trembling and her eyes were blinking rapidly. "Nothing's wrong—nothing!"

Then why do you look so sad? Neil didn't ask the question out loud, but he took Grace's hand in his and gently squeezed it, raising his eyebrows in worry.

That was enough for Grace's face to crumple. "You and Mama work all the time now!" she burst out. "It's almost Christmas and you're never home! Everybody else in my class does fun stuff with their daddies and mamas, but not me! I always halfta stay home and you're always gone and it's not fair!"

Grace ended on a wail. By that point, she was pressing herself into Neil's side, Eva was stepping over to rub her shoulder, and Neil's heart was plummeting as he wrapped her into a side hug. So it really was his and Eva's fault, wasn't it?

"I'm sorry, Gracie," he said. "You really haven't had much of a winter break, huh?"

Grace's only reply was to sniffle hard.

"I know Daddy and I have been very busy lately," Eva said gently, "but that's because winter's our busiest season. There's just a lot more wishes to grant right now. I'm sorry you've been feeling ignored."

"I'm sorry, too," Grace mumbled.

"But guess what?" Neil asked rhetorically, smiling down at his daughter. "Mama and I won't have any work to do on Christmas, so we'll have lots of time for you then. We can have pancakes for breakfast, watch Christmas movies, bake Christmas cookies—"

"However," Eva cut in, giving Neil a firmly expectant glance, "that's no excuse for your behavior today."

"But I said I was sorry!" Grace protested, moving away from Neil to stare at her mother in alarm.

"And your apology is very appreciated," Neil said at once. "It's good that you're sorry for what you did now. But, uh," he chanced another look at Eva, whose eyes were still telling him to do what had to be done, "throwing a tantrum is not the best way to tell people you're upset. If something's bothering you, you need to use your words without having a breakdown. In the meantime..."

Neil paused, considering what he'd say next. Well, since I already said I'm not putting her in timeout or sending her to her room... "No screentime for you until Christmas," he finished.

"What?!" Grace cried, looking at Neil like he just said he was going to tell Santa to put her on the naughty list. Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears, and all he wanted to do was pull her into his lap, give her a hug, and take back the punishment.

But with Eva standing there, silently urging him to stay strong, he knew he couldn't do it. He tried imagining he was talking to someone from the maintenance department instead of his little girl as he continued. "That means no TV, no videogames, and no cat videos."

Grace's mouth trembled at those last three words, the stricken expression on her face deepening. "Not even one cat video?"

"Not even one," Neil confirmed, having to now imagine he was talking to a really stupid someone from the maintenance department instead of his daughter. "From now until Christmas. Understand?"

Grace nodded as she sniffled again.

"And with that settled," Eva said, stroking Grace's hair, "I think it's time for you to brush your teeth and put your pajamas on. Daddy and I'll be there to tuck you in soon, okay?"

Grace wiped at her eyes before slipping off the couch and running out of the living room. Neil put his head in his hands, exhaling heavily.

"Do me a favour," he told Eva, "and never make me do that again."

He heard her sit down next to him and felt her place a hand on his shoulder. "Neil," she said softly, "you did the right thing."

He lifted his head to look miserably at her. "I made our daughter cry, Eva."

"I know." She leaned in to give him a chaste kiss. "But you did what you had to, even if it hurt. You're a good father."

"Then why do I feel like crap?"

Eva smiled a little. "I said you're a good father, not a tough one."

Shortly afterward, they headed to Grace's room, where their daughter was in her pajamas and lying in bed, her face still tearstained. Neil brought Grace one of her stuffed cats and kissed her on the forehead, and Eva gave her a hug and pulled the blankets over her.

"Goodnight, Gracie," Neil said. "We love you."

"Sorry I was mean, Daddy," Grace murmured, her eyes fluttering closed as she clutched the cat to her chest.

Neil's heart twisted. "I know you are, hun." I'm sorry I punished you, he mentally added.

"Sleep tight, Grace," Eva said. "We'll see you in the morning."

"G'night, Mama."

Before he and Eva left, Neil turned off Grace's pink butterfly lamp and gave her another forehead kiss. Later, as they got ready for a shower together, he made a mental note to find a cute kitten video on his phone to show Grace first thing on Christmas morning. After being the one to take cat videos away from her, it was the least he could do.