First off, apologies for the long gap between the last time I updated any of my stories and now. I really had a lot going on and a bit of a writer's block on top of that. So now I am trying to get back to writing with a Duly Noted multi-chapter project I've been wanting to do for ages.

I've always sort of hated that Kate couldn't go back to her family to say goodbye, so here we have that trip back that doesn't happen in the official Journal universe. I'm basically writing an AU of my own AU, if that makes sense.

Enjoy!

Chapter 13

Loophole

Loophole:

1. an ambiguity, omission, etc, as in a law, by which one can avoid a penalty or responsibility

2. a small gap or hole in a wall, esp one in a fortified wall

Dictionary . com

Erebor, summer 2949 TA

Thorin

It was widely known that dwarves lived by their contracts. Once a deal was struck and all the signatures were in their proper places, no one would be able to come back on it, because dwarves would stick with it until their dying breaths. This of course often led to great frustrations among men and elves alike, but as it was, there was little they could do about it. After all, they had signed of their own free will, which generally meant they agreed with the contents of the contract. According to dwarves, this was all plain and simple.

Or rather, it used to be. Knowing that dwarves stuck with their agreements had lately led to men and elves trying to find and create loopholes in the contracts, leaving them room to wriggle out of them if the arrangement no longer suited them. Dwarves in turn had taken to thoroughly checking and checking again before they signed anything. This, Thorin, son of Thráin found one of the most mind-numbing tasks ever invented, but as King under the Mountain, the final checks on contracts that concerned his kingdom inevitably fell to him. Granted, when he could, he always asked Kate to go over them when she had a moment to spare. After all, her mind was more suited to the kind of manipulation men and elves were prone to. Not that he often verbally asked, but he'd leave a contract lying about the room – safely out of reach of the eager hands of his sons – and he'd give it a few hours. Without fail Kate would come to him a few hours later, pointing out that if he didn't do so-and-so, he would give the elves leave to charge far more under circumstances that were surely going to happen a lot or something of the sort.

Still, much as he despised it, he had slowly begun to master the art and this was how he had discovered the loophole his wife had always missed. Had this been any other matter he would have gently teased her for it, but seeing as this matter was so delicate, it had seemed better to him to make sure it was a loophole he could exploit, before he would raise her hopes, only to have them crumbled again.

And that was how he had come to be here, in his study, looking at the grey wizard who had tried unsuccessfully to fold his large body into a dwarf-sized chair.

'It has come to my attention that you have been rather dishonest with my wife,' Thorin said when the pleasantries were out of the way.

Gandalf looked surprised to learn it. He was smoking his pipe, the smoke of which slightly obscured his face. 'How so?'

'If memory serves, you once told her that there was no possibility for her to return to the world that she came from and still come back here.' He knew this for certain; he had been there when the wizard made this announcement. And he had seen Kate's hopes crumble more and more with every word that was spoken. To this day, the memory never failed to rile him.

'That is true.' Gandalf still didn't seem to realise where Thorin was headed with this.

'A There and Back Again spell is what you called it, isn't that right?' Thorin waited until the wizard had given a nod in confirmation before he continued: 'Then you will cast such a spell on me.' If someone had told him a couple of years ago he would command a wizard to use his magic on him, he would have fixed them with as stern a glare as he could muster and sent them on their way.

Even now, it was not a decision he made lightly. But he felt as if he owed a debt, a feeling that rather than decreased, increased with every passing year. Because Kate was not as good a dissembler as she liked herself to think and there were always little moments when she recounted a memory from before the quest and she'd suddenly fall silent for a second and times when she looked at something or someone that reminded her of what she had left behind and there would be that rueful smile on her face. Of course, she seldom spoke of how much she missed home, but then, she didn't need to. She had gotten married to the one person who spent most of his life missing it. The fact alone that she had willingly and knowingly given up all hope to see her family and her home again put Thorin deep in her debt.

Gandalf for once seemed to be entirely lost for words; he had even forgotten he was smoking.

And so Thorin took this as his chance to elaborate. 'Kate told me that when you brought her here, everything she was holding onto at the time came with her,' he said. It had taken him a long time to coax this information out of her without her being any the wiser. Subtlety was hardly his forte, but he had managed. 'Were you to cast this spell on me and I were to hold onto Kate at that time, I would take me with her, is that correct?'

As Kate would have phrased it, on the opposite side of the desk Gandalf was doing an unflattering imitation of a fish on dry land. His mouth opened and then closed again as if he was looking for something to say but could not quite find the words to do so. Thorin found this not much of a problem; in truth, he had been longing to get one over Gandalf ever since he'd first been introduced to the wizard's scheming. Of course a king should be above such petty thoughts, but as long as he did not share them with the world, no one would feel the need to point this out to him.

'Theoretically speaking you would be right,' Gandalf spoke at long last. He had always been the kind to omit the truth or to just slightly bend it, but he had never been the kind to outright lie.

'Then I see no further need to discuss the matter,' Thorin answered. He would not admit to being pleased that his theory had been confirmed, but it was decidedly not a bad feeling either.

'I never thought you would wish to see this world for yourself, Thorin Oakenshield,' Gandalf observed. He'd taken up smoking again.

'I do not,' Thorin replied. And really, he did not. The more he heard about it, the stronger his desire to never set foot there. He did not fear her world, but neither did he think he could feel at ease there. But it was not for his sake that he was asking.

'Then why?'

'Because a debt is owed,' he replied promptly. 'By both you and me.'

Had Kate been here to witness this conversation, she would have told him in no uncertain terms that he owed her nothing, that it had been her own bloody choice for heaven's sake and could he please get his head out of his arse and start living in the present instead of the past? There was a good reason why she was currently not here after all. Of course, she would have been wholly justified in pointing out that Gandalf on the other hand owed her a fair few favours and maybe it was time she cashed them in.

Gandalf was intelligent enough that he understood this reasoning. But understanding did not seem to make him like it any better. Of course, that would make two of them. Thorin did not in any way look forward to visit a world not his own. But then, Kate had done it and she had done so without any preparation. No, it was not her world he dreaded the most. That place was reserved for her family. They would be entirely in the right to accuse him of taking a beloved daughter and sister from them. There was nothing he would be able to say in his defence.

In the short moment of silence, Gandalf had miraculously summoned up another excuse. 'Travel between worlds is not meant to happen.'

Thorin glared at him. The advantage of these chairs was that he could look the wizard in the eye rather than having to look up at him. 'If it is possible, then there is nothing you can say that will change my mind.'

The grey wizard muttered a great deal about the stubbornness of dwarves and their general bloody mindedness – which went a long way in showing that Thorin wasn't the only one who had picked up Kate's mannerisms and speech patterns by association – but eventually left Thorin's study under a cloud of smoke and chagrin and with a promise to do as he was asked. All things considered, the morning could be counted as a success.

He did not have long to reflect on his success – or to explore that sense of dread in the pit of his stomach – because Kate let herself in just a few minutes later.

'Was that Gandalf I saw just leaving?' she asked, brow furrowed in confusion. 'You two finally kiss and make up?'

Thorin merely arched an eyebrow at her.

'Obviously not,' Kate concluded. She sat herself down in the chair the wizard had just vacated. 'Well, at least you didn't come to blows over it.'

'I would not strike a wizard,' Thorin reminded her.

'Neither would I,' she said, giving him a very pointed look to go with it.

'His pipe would beg to differ.'

'Well, maybe,' Kate admitted. 'But then, the river is too far away. He'd catch me before I came even close. And I didn't exactly strike him. Not that I didn't want to, mind.' She gave him a searching look when he didn't reply. 'Okay, out with it. What did you two talk about and why haven't you told me yet?'

Honestly, he should probably have known better than to try and conceal anything from her. 'We spoke of a debt he owed you,' he replied.

Kate seemed mildly confused for just a moment before she regained her composure. 'I think we both agree he owes me several, including a bloody apology, but which one in particular are we talking about?'

'Your family,' Thorin replied.

'Yes?' By the looks of things this hadn't quite cleared matters up. 'Thorin, honestly, I'm in no mood to play the guessing game with you today.'

And so he explained that he had thought of a loophole and how he basically had the elves to thank for the idea occurring to him in the first place – 'Well, I guess Thranduil is good for something then,' Kate commented – and that he had just put the idea to the wizard.

At this point Kate was chuckling. 'He'd have loved that.'

'He did not.'

Kate rolled her eyes. 'Sarcasm is completely lost on you, isn't it? Never mind, I doubt it yielded much result.' She'd wrapped her arms around her torso like she always did when she was bracing herself, whether for a fight or for a disappointment. 'I'm sure that he would have mentioned something when I first asked him if there was such a possibility.'

'There is.' She could not honestly think he would share this with her if there wasn't, could she?

Although she didn't know it, her facial expression closely resembled the one Gandalf had put on display when Thorin made his demand. The unflattering disbelief looked quite out of place on her face, though. 'You… you mean…?' It wasn't often that she was lost for words, but this was indeed one such rare occasion. 'Do you really mean…?'

'He has consented to the idea,' he told her. He omitted any mention of the wizard doing so willingly; she'd know that was a lie anyway. In all the time that they had known him, he had never done them any favours that only benefitted them without at least grumbling about it in a remarkably Dori-like manner.

Her jaw dropped. 'You mean I can actually go and see them?' It was hard to describe the expression on her face, but it looked like joy. There were some tears in her eyes as well, but he was not exactly a stranger to shedding tears of happiness. Well, there was another thing he could not have possibly predicted a decade ago.

'You can.' It was easy to keep his composure; he did not want to venture there. He had long since abandoned the notion that she would stay there once she got back, rationally at least. Perhaps it was a more or less undefined fear of the unknown, although he could hardly even admit that to himself. And for Kate's sake, he would keep his mouth shut.

That, he reflected, had been one of his wiser ideas. Besides, Dori might have lectured him for hours on end if he had so much as considered ruining Kate's mood. He'd negotiated a week of preparation so that he at least would not feel completely out of place. And Kate had decreed that if they were going to blend in, something had to be done about clothes, because 'I'm very sorry, but there's no way we're going to blend in looking like we do.' But she was laughing and humming songs. It was not until he'd been married to Kate for a couple of months that he first discovered that habit. When she was really happy she'd start to sing a song and change it into another just a couple of lines in and on and on it went. Some songs he recognised, others he didn't, a strange mix of two worlds, seemingly effortlessly blended into one new tune. Really, Dori would have had his head for making her stop.

'But where are we going?' Thoren, who was now seven years old and fancied himself quite the expert on a lot of things all of a sudden, inquired on the day of their departure. He was giving his mother, now dressed in trousers rather than skirts a critical look, one that conveyed that something was not quite right about all of this.

'We're going to visit my family, sweetheart,' Kate replied mildly, making a last attempt to make his hair stay in one place. She should have known that was in vain; their eldest had inherited not many of her features, but he certainly had her curls. 'My mother and my brother. Your grandmother and your Uncle Jacko.'

Thráin perked up at the mention of uncle. 'Is he like Uncle Nori?' To Thorin's dismay, both his lads were quite taken with him. If he'd had a say in the matter, they would have taken to Ori more, but then, Nori had always been the most colourful of the bunch.

Kate pondered this for a while. 'Not quite,' she said. 'We used to get into trouble all the time when we were kids, but I don't think we ever did any law-breaking.'

Thráin looked almost disappointed to learn it.

Meanwhile, Thoren was still of the opinion that he hadn't been provided with a satisfactory answer. 'But where do they live?' he asked. 'We haven't saddled any ponies.'

'The wizard will take us to another world,' Thorin said. Not that he strictly knew how this was going to happen. He only knew he was to hold on tight to his family.

For Kate this was seemingly easy enough. A few months after Thoren's birth she had mastered the art of doing things one-handed almost overnight. She'd have the baby on one arm and use the other to write a letter, make tea or set a table. It was one thing Thorin had never got a mastery in. It had been hard enough when it was just Thoren, but now that he had more children than arms, he often found himself constantly feeling as though he could really do with another pair of hands. It seemed hardly fair that Kate could go out the door with all three without any of them getting lost in the market while he would only need to blink and find he was suddenly short a child.

'Oh,' Thoren said, considering this. 'With magic?'

'Indeed.'

And apparently that was answer enough for him. 'Couldn't Uncle Nori come?' he asked.

Kate laughed. 'Dear one, I would not set your uncle on anyone.'

There was a lot of sense in that to be sure. It would hardly endear Kate's kin to her new family if Nori were to relieve all of them of their valuables. To be honest, Thorin was not entirely convinced he would not do his brother-in-law some serious bodily harm if he were to find out such a thing had happened.

'Are you okay?' While he had pondered this, Kate had shifted her attention from Thoren to him.

'You have asked before,' he observed.

'And it's not as if you've given me a workable answer.' The look on her face told him she probably had made an accurate guess as to what was really on his mind. 'For heaven's sake, Thorin, they're my family, not a pack of wargs. And if they're going to be mad at anyone, that person will be me. My choice, remember?'

He was unconvinced. 'Not at first.'

'So they'll rant at Gandalf a bit. It's not as if you objected to that before. Unless, of course, he has become your best friend in this past week? But I rather think I would have noticed that.'

'He has not.' After everything, no, he could not consider the wizard a friend. An ally, yes, but that was all he would ever be.

'Then seriously, stop looking like a lamb that's going to be led to slaughter.' Annoyance made up the majority of her voice now. 'And if the worst happens, I'm sure you're better in a fight than Jacko anyway.'

Maybe he should stop doubting the family she so clearly longed to see, but there was still that guilt gnawing away within him, that certainty that if – no, when – they would blame him for Kate's disappearance, they would be wholly justified in doing so.

'For Durin's sake, Thorin, stop blaming yourself,' Kate growled, just soft enough that no one but him heard her words. 'It was an impossible situation and that is no one's fault but Gandalf's.' He would have disputed the wisdom of these words with the wizard himself so close had he had any less pressing concerns to distract him. 'And if you so much as think about blaming yourself for not finding this little loophole any sooner, then so help me God, I'll knock you into the middle of next week myself.'

It didn't set him to rights, not by a long way. But he had made this choice and he would see it through.

Thráin had managed to catch her final words and had jumped to the wrong conclusion. 'Are we going to time travel?' The excited gleaming in his eyes told his parents he was hoping the answer would be yes. Curse Ori and his stories.

Kate snorted. 'I should hope not.' She lifted Duria up and extended her hand to Thráin. 'Hold on tight now,' she told him. 'Thoren, you take your father's free hand and you do not let go until we tell you to. Do you understand?'

'Hold on and don't let go until you tell me to,' he parroted back dutifully.

'Exactly.'

Thorin had not felt this ill at ease since he had to tell the elves and men they could take a share of the wealth of Erebor to repay them for the services rendered. He'd experienced a similar feeling then; an urge to run, a repulsion so strong he just wanted it over with so that he could move on to just slightly less unpleasant matters.

'We are ready,' he told the wizard. He held Thoren's small hand secure in his left one and had his right on Kate's shoulder. It should be sufficient. 'Do it.'

He had hardly spoken the word when the wind began. It was just a breeze at first, but then it picked up. He could feel Thoren's hand clench his own. His son was a self-proclaimed explorer, wanting to investigate everything, but he was only a child still. And there was something distinctly wrong about this wind, something unnatural, something magical. It cost him all his self-control to remain where he was and let it happen. He had been the one to command the wizard to do this in the first place. And it was too late for second thoughts.

Next to him, Kate was murmuring soft reassurances to Thráin, whilst trying to soothe a crying Duria back to sleep, but she herself seemed calm. But then, she had lived through one such spell already and, admittedly, when he met her, she had looked perfectly well.

As soon as it had started, it was over again, but he was no longer in Erebor. Instead he was outside, blinking against the sudden bright sunlight.

Kate was doing the same. 'Well, there's no way we're in England; there's way too much sunshine for that,' she commented dryly.

Wherever they were, they were far from alone. The square they were standing in was filled with people, all going about their business without even sparing a glance for Thorin and his family. It was clearly a city of Men and he recalled again that there weren't any elves, dwarves or orcs to be found where she came from. A bewildering world indeed. But these people did not look like they could belong in a city like Dale. Their clothing was distinctly different. If anything, it was less modest, but no one so much as looked twice at garments that would have caused a scandal at home.

Thráin looked wide-eyed at the place they had landed. The fear over the strange wind had subsided the moment there was something more interesting going on. 'Where are we?' He made one hopeful look at his father, but Thorin's face must have conveyed the message that he didn't know, so he turned to his mother instead. 'Amad, where are we?'

The fact that Kate had started frowning did not bode well. Thorin followed her gaze to the building that seemed to loom over them. There were letters on the front, most of them forming words he didn't understand. Clearly Kate did, because the frown deepened into the well-known I-know-what's-going-on-here-and-I-do-not-like-it stare she usually reserved for the likes of Thranduil.

'That's the Millennium Centre,' she said. 'In bloody Cardiff. I am going to kill Gandalf.'

Kate had mentioned the name London, Thorin recalled, when he had asked her where they were most likely to arrive. Judging by Kate's furious expression, they were nowhere near it.

He frowned. 'Have you been here before?'

Kate shook her head. 'No, but I used to watch Doctor Who,' she replied as though that explained everything, which it didn't. She must have seen the uncomprehending look on his face, because she added: 'Never mind. I just know where we are, is all, and it's not where we were supposed to be.'

'We're not there yet?' Thoren asked, sounding disappointed.

'Well, there's a little bit of a problem,' Kate admitted. 'But nothing we can't solve.'

She looked like it too, like she knew what should be done. The moment they had arrived here, something about her had changed. Though hard to identify at first, her posture spoke of confidence, of fitting in. This was her land and she knew how it worked. Instinctively Thorin felt that she belonged here in a way she never did in Erebor. And he would be lying shamelessly if he said that very thought didn't set his teeth on edge.

'First things first, we find a place to sit for a minute,' she announced. 'You can watch people from a little distance too, Thráin, come on.'

It had been a long time that Thorin Oakenshield had felt so out of his depth. He had come to a world not his own, so different in so many aspects that he could not help but feel inadequate. It was not a feeling he enjoyed, even more so because Kate for once seemed to know exactly how to behave, what to do and where to go. Unlike in Erebor, she knew how to simply be. She knew where they were and her tone had suggested that somehow she would all figure it out from there. Whereas he, on the other hand, knew nothing. Not all of Kate's stories could have prepared him for the otherness of this place. Even the air tasted different, and not necessarily more pleasing.

Kate installed the lads on a nearby bench and told them to stay on it while the problem was sorted out.

'Well, that's a bit of a setback,' she observed once Thoren and Thráin were thoroughly distracted by all the strange sights around them. 'That wizard… I'm going to do him a harm for pulling that stunt on us. Dropping us off near my relatives? Bloody bullshit.'

'Revenge for forcing him to do his bidding?' Thorin offered. It didn't seem likely, but under the given circumstances, the notion had to be entertained.

Kate seemed doubtful. 'I don't like him, but this seems too petty for him. And if he hadn't been so precise with from where he snatched me and where he dumped me the first time, I might have thought his aim was a bit off. Although I've got to say, if he'd been any more off, he'd have dropped us in the sea.'

'What shall we do?' It took considerable effort to force these words past his lips. It wasn't like him to be helpless in the face of anything and he detested the fact that he was so now.

This was one of the times he regretted just how well Kate had gotten at reading him, because all of a sudden, she was looking at him through narrowed eyes. 'Are you okay?'

He deflected the question in the tried and tested way. 'I was unaware that you were a social worker.'

She grimaced. 'I could very probably find you one somewhere in the city.'

He repeated his initial question.

By way of an answer Kate dug up the device she had called a phone. 'Time to see if this thing is still working, I suppose. Gandalf may have done his little thing with the batteries, but that doesn't mean anything for actually using it. And I don't even know if all the numbers in here are still correct, so…'

He stopped her there, before she could truly start to ramble. While she was talking the thought had started to occur to him that she may not necessarily have the answer to their current predicament, despite being in a familiar place. 'Again, what will you do?'

He didn't think he had imagined the grateful smile she sent his way. 'Well, I'm going to try to call Jacko and see if he can come pick us up. Chances are, he's less likely to get a heart attack when he hears my voice than my mother, so there's that. And that is, if he's somehow still got the same number. He used to change his a lot back when I lived in this world, because he was forever losing his phones. I hope to God he's broken that nasty habit.'

If he was lucky, he may have understood half of that speech. She had explained telephones, but when she started about numbers, she might as well have started speaking in the same strange tongue as the one on the building.

She took note of his complete lack of response and interpreted his unease correctly. 'We're going to be fine, you know. I mean, it's different, but people are still people. Just… different. A bit. Ugh, that sounded weird even to my own ears.' At least she knew better than to pity him. He would tolerate much from her, but not her pity.

'Call your brother, Kate,' he reminded her. The sooner he got out of here, the better he would like it.

She looked as though she had identified the source of his trouble and was about to say something, but then thought better for it. Thorin thought her wiser because of it; after all, there was nothing she could say now that could in any way improve matters. And since there was a trouble that needed solving, that should be a first priority anyway.

She turned her attention towards her phone. 'Well, here goes nothing.'

Jacko

Jacko made a mental note to never ever buy coffee in that particular shop again; it tasted like it had come straight from a ditch. He looked in disgust at the liquid that was supposed to pass for his beverage of choice and then, without any regret, tossed it out onto the obliging grass next to him. It could do with some watering anyway. This summer had been decidedly dry this year so far.

Anyway, he had better go. Jane never liked it when he had to stay away overnight, but sometimes it just couldn't be helped. And it had been worth it to see the girl reunited with her parents after having been missing for almost a month. Here's one I could bring home, he'd thought, squashing the thought of the one he had not been able to do the same for. Of course, Kate wasn't strictly speaking missing. He knew where she was, but it was so far out of reach he could not even begin to think where to start.

He started back towards his car, sunny mood as good as gone. He'd have to go and find some decent coffee along the way, even if only to wash the taste of that garbage away.

It was probably a coincidence that his phone started blaring out whatever ringtone Jane had thought amusing – a cow, this week – just before he drove out of the car park. The display gave him the number of his caller, a number that looked vaguely familiar. He should know who it belonged to, Jacko felt, but if they had ever called him before, it must have been a very long time ago.

'Jacko Andrews,' he announced when he picked up.

There was a short silence on the other end of the line. 'Hey, Jacko. It's Kate.'

It was good that he didn't do phone calls whilst driving. If he did, he would have found himself wrapped around a tree or something of the sort. That voice made something clench in his guts and did something decidedly unpleasant to his heart. It was like being hit by a sledgehammer and for a moment there, he didn't think he could breathe.

'Ehm, hello, you still there? Jacko?' The voice that belonged to his long-lost sister sounded mildly concerned.

In his state of confusion he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. 'You can't be Kate. She's gone.' He'd thought so many times he'd seen her in the first months after her disappearance, but he'd always been wrong. He'd be wrong again.

'Oh, for heaven's sake!' she growled. 'You didn't get my letters a couple years ago, did you?' Then, softer, as if speaking to someone with her: 'I swear, when we get back, I'll be strangling the wizard with his own beard.'

'Can I watch?' a child's voice asked eagerly.

'What? No!' she exclaimed. 'Go on, sit back down. And don't go moving unless we tell you to. Finding you again in this crowd won't be an easy feat, I'll tell you.' She turned her attention back to him. 'Sorry about that. Are you still there?'

He repeated his earlier statement. 'You can't be Kate. We did get the letters, but she can't come back, so who the hell are you?' If this was a joke, he did not see the humour of it and quite frankly, he was starting to get pretty bloody mad about it.

'Really?' she asked. 'I'm Kate, Jacko. You know, the one and only?'

But he was not that easily fooled. 'Prove it.'

'Fine,' she snapped. 'When we were little, we figured out how to open the cupboard containing the sweets with a hairpin. I'd read about it somewhere and you wanted me to prove that I could do it and when I figured it out, you made me teach the trick to you. Mum never found out how we did it, although she did suspect we were the culprits. And then there was that thing with Audrey Harris, a bottle of wine and an almost arrest I wasn't to mention ever again…'

Jacko found he didn't need any more convincing. 'Kate? How?'

'Long story,' she replied. 'It involves a wizard and a bit of a loophole that should honestly have occurred to me years ago, but there we are. Listen, we've got a bit of a problem. Gandalf dropped us off just now. In fact, he promised he would make us land somewhere near my relatives, which has got to be some kind of a joke only he finds funny. Well, at least we're on the right island, so there is that.'

It took a moment or so for him to really understand what she was saying. 'You mean, you're back in England?' Surely he must be dreaming, but the only thing that happened when he pinched himself was a feeling of discomfort. He didn't miraculously wake up.

'Well, that's the thing,' Kate admitted. 'We're in Wales, actually. Cardiff to be precise. Which is probably nowhere near where you're living.'

Jane always said that when things sounded too good to be true, then they probably were. Jacko found that he had a hard time remembering that just now.

'I'm there,' he said. 'I'm in Cardiff, for work. I was just about to leave when you called. How…?' He liked to think of himself as level-headed, but his calm composure was being subjected to unprecedented pressure and it was hard to think straight.

'If there's one thing I've learned, it's that Gandalf moves in mysterious ways.' She did not necessarily sound pleased about it. 'I honestly don't know. Look, I know it's a lot to ask, but would you mind picking us up?'

Did she really think she could keep him away now that he knew she was that close? She'd have to beat him off with a stick. 'Where are you?' he asked.

'Just about in front of the Wales Millennium Centre,' Kate replied.

'Just give me a few minutes.' It was only when he had said that, that he realised she had been mentioning "we" instead of "I." 'Hang on, who's we?'

'Just me, my husband and my three kids,' she answered. 'Will that fit in your car?'

'It'll be a tight fit, but it will work.' The car had been designed for five people, but given that three of the six who would try to get inside were children below the age of ten, it should be just about doable. 'Three kids, Kate, really?' It was almost without thinking that he fell back on the bantering that once upon a time had been so natural.

'Hey, if you keep on having commentary, I'll just walk to London,' she threatened good-naturedly.

'Yes, sure,' he mocked.

'Oi, I did a whole lot of walking eight years ago, you know.'

And he did know; he'd read all about it. And the years had not made it sound any more plausible. He had chosen to believe it because there wasn't much choice and because the only alternative was to believe his sister dead. And if it came to a straight choice, he'd much rather believe Kate to be alive and happy than dead.

'I'll be there as soon as I can,' he promised. 'Don't move.'

'Yes, sir,' she agreed, before hanging up.

Jacko really stepped on it, well, as in so far possible in the late morning city traffic. Honestly, where did all these cars even come from and why were they all here, blocking his way? All the same, he still managed to break a few speed-limits and he may or may not have scared a couple of pedestrians into an almost heart-attack, but there was no police around to take any note of his transgressions, so just this once he got away with it. And it was not as if he made a habit out of this kind of behaviour anyway.

Parking, as usual, was a bloody nightmare and of course there were no parking spots anywhere near where he wanted to be. He briefly considered running the last part, but there were too many people about to gather much speed and he would have to admit that sprinting in his suit would draw attention he did not want. In the back of his head the notion that he should probably call his mother made itself known. And he had every intention of doing just that, as soon as he could think of a way to do it without sending her straight into cardiac arrest.

Kate had never been tall, but in crowds she was nonetheless hard to miss. Her hair always stood out. Jacko knew for a fact that their mother had always used it to locate her; it was easily her most recognisable feature. And time had not changed it. The mane of red curls caught his attention from quite a distance away.

Good grief, she was really here. Somehow she had managed it. He didn't know how, didn't really care either. All that mattered was that she was here and everything else would be sorted out later.

As soon as he was close enough to call her name without alerting everyone within a hundred metre radius, he did so. And she heard, turned around and came at him, running. The only sensible course of action was to hug her and hold her and convince himself that his sister had actually made it back. Even though he had driven like a devil trying to get here, it had still felt so surreal. Of course he had always entertained that small hope that she would find a way to get back in the end, but with his rational mind he had also known that it was a vain hope. She was gone and she would stay gone. He had resigned himself to that a long time ago. Well, sort of.

'Jacko, I can't breathe!' she protested at last. 'And I won't thank you for breaking my ribs either.'

He let go and held her at arm's length. 'Bloody hell, Kate.' Those were decidedly not the words he had in mind, but they slipped out when he looked at her face. She was mostly unchanged, still herself. But there was a scar running from her forehead all the way down to her chin that was almost impossible to miss. It drew the eye.

'Nice to see you, too,' she remarked wryly.

He made a noise that wasn't quite a chuckle and that wasn't quite a sob either. 'How?'

'Like I said, Gandalf.' She smiled at him. 'Don't ask me to explain it yet. I'm not sure I quite understand all of it myself.'

'Fair enough,' he agreed. It wasn't as if he was in any state to fully comprehend her explanation. His mind was still reeling and eloquent sentences seemed to be suspended until further notice.

'Ah, I've missed this,' she sighed, looking out over the square. 'It's weird, you know, being back.'

'It's weird having you back,' Jacko pointed out. He'd forgotten what it was like talking with his sister. It had always been in a slightly roundabout way. And what with the whole father-shaped disaster hanging over them like a thundercloud during much of their childhood, they'd gotten very skilled at avoiding elephants in the room. Of course, that strategy only worked for so long.

Kate nodded. 'I bet. Come on, meet the family.' She grinned mischievously up at him, but quickly became serious again. 'Just… just cut Thorin some slack, will you?'

She did not elaborate and she deliberately ignored the questioning look he directed at her. He had no choice but to follow after her, towards the small group of people just a little distance away. There were a guy and three kids. The youngest was held by the father, presumably Thorin, but dear God, if he had been that child, he'd start wailing from the stern look on his face. He gave the distinct impression of not wanting to be here. And Jacko couldn't help but wonder what Kate had ever seen in Mr Strict Schoolteacher over there.

Predictably she introduced him as Thorin. Jacko shook his hand – a firm, strong shake – and told him it was a pleasure to meet him at last. The dwarf told him likewise, although he didn't seem to mean it any more than Jacko did. They were trying to get the measure of one another, he thought, and he also felt as though neither of them quite passed the test.

'Amad, he's a giant!' The black-haired boy was pulling on his mother's coat to get her attention, all the while staring in awe at Jacko.

Kate laughed. 'So he is, sweetheart.'

His red-haired brother gave Jacko a calculating stare. 'As big as the trolls?' he asked.

'No, not quite as big as that,' Kate grinned. 'Not by a long way. Not as ugly either, I'd say.' She turned her attention back to Jacko. 'Sorry about that. Jacko, these are my boys, Thoren,' she indicated the poor kid that had been struck by the Andrews curse, 'and Thráin.' This time she pointed out the boy who had mistaken him for a giant, which he assumed was better than to be called a troll. 'And this shy little lady here is Duria.' She took her youngest child from Thorin's arms to show her to him, but the girl quickly hid her face in Kate's hair. As hiding places went, she couldn't have found a better one. 'As I said, she's a little shy.'

'She isn't any fun,' Thoren declared, clearly determined that his uncle was made aware of this fact. 'She can't walk properly and she's always crying and then she always gets what she wants. If I do that, I get sent to my room.'

'It's because you're a little older and should know better, dear.' Kate seemed wholly unimpressed with his complaint. 'Hey Jacko, does mum still live in London?'

'Still in the old house,' he confirmed. 'Ready to go and give her the surprise of a lifetime?'

'Absolutely,' she said. She held out her free hand. 'Car keys?'

'Beg pardon?'

'Car keys,' Kate repeated. 'It's been forever and a day since I got to drive.'

He frowned at her. 'Which is why you are getting nowhere near that the driver's seat. You haven't had anything stronger than one horse power on your hands since 2013. I'd like to see you've still got it before I unleash you on unsuspecting drivers.'

'This from the guy whose car has more dents than I could count in a month?' Kate was understandably sceptical. It was remarkable how many details just slipped away with the passage of time. He'd forgotten so much. But then, was it really forgetting when it all came back to him now? 'No way I'm letting you drive, not with my kids in the car.'

'Your licence hasn't been renewed in ages. If, no when, we get stopped, how would you like me to explain that to the cops? You know, this being my car and all?'

He had missed that cat got the cream grin she subjected him to. 'Gandalf has updated it for me. Magically.'

'That's hardly a substitute for the real deal. Doesn't tell me anything about your driving skills,' he pointed out.

'I passed the driving test,' Kate countered. Good grief, she had always been good at arguments like that. 'On my first try. How many did you need again? Three?'

'Four,' he corrected her sourly.

'Three gold pieces says amad wins.' The youngest boy, Thráin, was leaning towards his brother conspiratorially, trying and failing to give himself the air of an adult.

Thoren shook his head. 'Better hand them over already. He's a giant!'

Jacko could feel the corners of his mouth curl up almost of their own volition. Which was why it surprised him that Kate's forehead was all wrinkled up in a frown that could have summoned up a hurricane on the spot. A quick glance in Thorin's direction told him that her husband had the frown to match.

'Nori,' they said in unison. It didn't sound as though they were very happy about it.

'This time I am banishing him for the foreseeable future,' Thorin informed Kate. They were more words than Jacko had heard him say before, but they didn't exactly make him like Kate's guy any better. Bloody hell, he didn't sound – or look – like a good-natured fellow, did he? What on earth Kate was doing with him, was probably one of the universe's greatest unsolved mysteries.

Kate shook her head. 'I'll do you one better; I'm telling Dori,' she muttered darkly.

Thorin gave a satisfied nod. 'That will do.'

'I thought so. Jacko, car keys? We're wasting daylight. We both know you're a rubbish driver, especially in cities, and you'll need to phone mum to prepare her. I'd do it myself, but… well, you know. She might not respond well.' It was the first time he saw something resembling guilt in her face.

And she should feel guilty. He buried the memories most of the time, but they were never far away either. She had put them all through hell. And he was fair enough to admit that those first months were not her fault, but then she'd gone and left them and all they got was a box of letters and a memory card filled with photos. Yes, he had missed her, but he also very sincerely resented the choices she had made.

But it was hardly the time to pick a fight, not with her kids nearby and her husband scowling a hole into the nearest wall. Jacko may positively tower over him, but he knew better than to underestimate him. He radiated danger, something Kate either did not see or chose to ignore. He assumed the latter; she had always been perceptive.

'If you drive us off the road, you'll be paying for the damage,' he warned her. After all, she did have a point; someone needed to call their mother and it was maybe better that it wasn't Kate doing the calling. And he had always been opposed to the use of phones behind the wheel.

'See, you owe me!' Thráin said triumphantly.

Kate

It was weird to behind the wheel of an actual car again, Kate reflected, and at the same time it was just like riding a bike. She was just a little rusty, but the knowledge and the skills were still there in her head.

Of course, that was the easiest part of it all. Getting her two awestruck lads into the car had been easy enough; so far they were fascinated by everything they saw. They had inquisitive minds both and would spend most of their time investigating everything they came across. Being driven around in an otherworldly piece of machinery? Yes, please.

Thorin was less pleased, which brought her to her biggest current problem. She was well aware he did not like it here so far and cars were unlikely to improve his opinion. Neither was the fact that Jacko had laid claim to the passenger seat, leaving Thorin to take the spot between his sons – because no one in their senses would have let those two have free reign of the back seat if they wanted to arrive with their sanity intact – and with Duria in his arms. This was a recipe for legendary disaster squeezed expertly in Jacko's suddenly very cramped feeling car.

This is going to be the drive from hell, or to hell, she thought, silently cursing Gandalf's sense of humour once again. Honestly, she'd said London, hadn't she? How in the name of all that was holy had he managed to make Cardiff out of that? Never mind that her brother was there, she had requested to be dropped off near her mother's place.

Jacko was fiddling with the navigation system in his car. Kate had always despised those velvety voices informing her she had taken a wrong turn and to please turn back. She'd rather make do with old-fashioned maps than to be forced into a pointless argument about which route was better.

Predictably, the next second a woman's voice told her that she was supposed to turn around here. Given the fact that they hadn't even left the parking spot yet, that didn't bode well for the rest of the journey.

'Give me a break,' she muttered. 'Jacko, do we really need that wretched thing?'

He gave her a disbelieving look. 'You tell me you can drive to London from here without help?'

'I'm fairly sure that's why road signs were invented,' she pointed out. 'And folk have driven from Cardiff to London before those systems were developed, you know.' This statement of fact coincided with another reminder that she should turn around. 'So what, you want me to perform a U-turn in the middle of the road? Give it a rest, woman!' she snapped at the device.

When she turned back to her brother, he was looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes and a rueful smile. 'I'd forgotten you did that,' he said.

Kate quickly turned her attention back towards the car and the road. Hello guilt, my old friend. It was one thing knowing that she had hurt them immensely by disappearing the way she had, but it was quite another to see what it had done with her own eyes. Either way, someone would have had their hearts broken over the whole affair, she reminded herself. Whichever way I would have chosen. But this hardly made it easier.

'Just turn the volume down before I roll down a window and throw the thing out,' she said. Thorin may think that avoidance was a Kate speciality, but she knew better. It had been perfected into a form of art by the collective Andrews clan. It was wired into her very DNA to dance around the sensitive subjects. And it spoke of good sense not to get into the specifics with young children in the car.

Fortunately Thoren, bless him, provided her with distraction. 'Amad is good at throwing things,' he announced, leaning forward to make sure his newfound uncle properly heard him. 'She has thrown Gandalf's pipe into the river once. Uncle Ori told me,' he added as if that made it true.

Of course it was true and if Kate had her way, that was not the only thing of the wizard's to get flying lessons, not after this debacle. I'm not all that opposed to wizard-tossing either.

'I did,' she confessed with a sheepish smile when her twin looked at her for confirmation. 'In my defence, he was being particularly annoying that day. He was asking for it.'

Driving was indeed as easy as she remembered. City traffic was challenging after so long in a place with considerably slower-moving vehicles, but at least it required that she concentrated and it forced less pleasant matters from her mind for the time being. Behind her, her sons were just about bouncing with excitement, staring wide-eyed at their surroundings when they weren't shouting things like 'Adad, adad, did you see that?' and 'Amad, what is that?' she answered them as best she could, finding a whole new challenge in explaining this world in words that they could understand.

Once they had left Cardiff behind, she turned to Jacko. 'You should probably call mum, tell her we're coming.'

He nodded. 'Any clues how to announce you're back without sending her straight to hospital?'

'This one's all yours,' she said. And it wasn't as if she hadn't spent most of last week trying to think of a way. But most of her ideas had sounded absurd even in the privacy of her own mind. She'd never say any of it out loud. Quite frankly, it was a miracle Jacko had taken it so well.

Oh, who was she fooling, really? He was taking it one step at a time, but there would be a serious Talk in her near future, and she knew her brother well enough that, if properly riled, he could easily outdo Dori in a fit of temper. And worse, she knew she deserved everything he would accuse her of. Because, if push came to shove, Gandalf may have put her in an impossible situation, but the choice she had made in said impossible situation had been all her own.

He scowled at her. 'Well, thanks for that.'

Still, he did as she asked. Kate was used to a lot more resistance to her requests ever since their teenage years; a clear sign that he was still a little out of balance.

Kate looked in the mirror to see how Thorin was holding up. To the unsuspecting eye he was in a bad temper, but well in control of himself. Kate however was not an outsider and she liked to think she knew him better than that. She hadn't heard him speak more than ten words together since they'd met up with Jacko. He was never the truly talkative type, but this was taking the taciturn to the extreme. Of course he would never admit to being freaked out – certainly not in those exact words – but to Kate that was what he looked like. But then, she hadn't taken the transition between worlds much better. In fact, she distinctly remembered having a breakdown of some sort. Moreover, she at least had known a little about the place where she had ended up. Of course she had told stories, but it must have been hard for him to visualise any of it. And now he had been dumped in a strange world, with strange customs, bewildering technologies and far too many tall people for his taste. All things considered, he was holding up admirably.

While she had been pondering all of this, Jacko had managed to get a hold of their mother. 'Hey mum, it's Jacko… No, I'm fine and no, I'm not driving… Yes, I am in the car. Mum, would you mind letting me finish?'

Speaking of forgetting things, it had quite slipped her mind her mother had a bee in her bonnet about phones and cars and any combination thereof and of course she would have heard the noise of the engine in the background.

'I promise you I'm not driving right now.' Jacko clearly hadn't convinced her. 'I am not in the driver's seat, I swear.'

Oh, for heaven's sake… 'He's not!' she called, hopefully loud enough that her mother might hear. It was unlikely she recognised Kate's voice with all the other noise and over a phone anyway. And it was not as if Helen Wilson – once Andrews – would let Jacko say what he wanted to say if she did not intervene. Never mind that they were grown-ups who had always been responsible drivers – well, sort of responsible drivers in Jacko's case; there was a reason Kate didn't trust him behind the wheel – in their mother's eyes they would never really grow up.

'Kate?'

Maybe she had gotten that bit about not recognising just slightly wrong, if that shocked exclamation was anything to go by. Oops, so much for breaking the news to her gently. Well, she had never claimed to be any good at subtleties anyway. If she had, she might have appreciated the elves more than she did.

Cover well and truly blown, she decided to make the best of it. 'Hey, mum.'

The withering glare Jacko unleashed on her should by rights have made her drop on the spot, but he obligingly put the phone on loud and held it out in her direction.

'You can't be…' The voice on the other end made a sort of choking sound that strongly suggested crying. It made Kate's gut clench with guilt all over again. Good grief, what had she put them through? She had deliberately not spent all that much thought on it after she had given her letters to Gandalf to be sent. The choice was made and nothing could be done about it. Why waste time on endless what ifs?

'I am,' she said uncharacteristically softly. 'And yes, I am me, I'm really here and no, I'm not holding the phone right now.' Lord have mercy, she hadn't anticipated doing this reunion over the phone. Better cut it short. 'Gandalf dropped us off in bloody Cardiff, so it will be a while before we get to yours, but I thought it'd be better to give you a heads-up.' Her hands felt sweaty all of a sudden. How could she have forgotten how bad she had always been at anything approaching showing emotion? It wasn't just something that happened with Thorin, although she had been getting better at it with him. But this, this was something else entirely and the guilt did not make it easier. She was in the wrong and she knew it.

The choked sound of her name coming out of the phone's speaker didn't do her any favours either. Mum, I'm so very, very sorry.

'I'm here,' she repeated. She blinked quickly to keep her vision from going blurry. She was driving a car; crying was really not an option right now. 'And we're en route. We'll need a while. Listen, mum, I'm driving right now.' We can't have this conversation right now. Not that she imagined having this one face to face would be any more fun. But delaying was a good enough tactic for the moment. You big coward, Andrews.

Fortunately Jacko decided this was a good moment to take the phone back and continue the phone call on his own. The displeased look Kate caught from the corner of her eye told her he was deeply unhappy with her interference. He'd kept a tight hold of his temper so far, but now she caught a glimpse of the resentment underneath his control.

Oh damn.

All of a sudden it was both too hot and too cold in the car. She had been so distracted by the joy the prospect of seeing her relatives had caused in the days leading up to today that she had, well, not forgotten about what she had done to them and what they must think of her, but rather she had chosen to ignore it. There was no ignoring it now.

Her brother wrapped up his conversation and turned his attention back to her. And he was angry. 'What the hell, Kate?' he snapped at her. 'What happened to breaking it to her gently? You could have given her a fucking heart attack.'

Kate couldn't remember Jacko having such a taste for salty language. 'Mind your tongue,' she chided him. 'There's kids in the car.'

'Stop avoiding me,' he growled.

'Fine, I wasn't thinking,' she admitted. Hearing her mother's voice had been… Well, she couldn't say what it had been like. It was as if the years had just fallen away and it was just another day with Jacko and her in the car, arguing with a somewhat mollycoddling mother who didn't know when to stop. And she had reacted exactly as she would have done then. Old habits were hard to break after all. 'I messed up. You happy now?'

He snorted. 'Not by a long way.'

Thank goodness for rear-view mirrors. They allowed Kate to send a warning glance in Thorin's direction without having to turn her head around. It looked like he was hanging onto the last remnants of control by a threat and this was hardly the place to have a full-on confrontation.

'Air,' she announced when Jacko didn't so much as look at her again. 'We need air. And lunch,' she added as an afterthought. There was an exit not too far ahead. Kate had no idea where exactly she was or what exactly could be found there, but there would be a place to stop and a place to buy some food beyond the shadow of a doubt. And she needed a moment to herself to get herself back under control.

No one protested. Even the lads had fallen silent. A good thing too. She loved to answer their questions, but she didn't have the patience for it now, not anymore. That talk was bound to happen a lot sooner than she had anticipated and she dreaded it more than going for another round with a band of orcs. Orcs could only kill her.

What a mess. It only hurt to know that the mess was of her own making.

They stopped in a small village. Kate was in no mood to do the whole family meal yet – not under the given circumstances – so she directed the car to the supermarket. Buy some bread, something to drink, consume and go. And in that short time, she should be able to clear her head a little.

'I'll go,' she offered. 'Try to keep it civil,' she added to Thorin and sort of to Jacko.

The first thing she realised upon entering was that her idea of cost of things was hopelessly out-dated. She could only just muffle a choice swearword as to not offend the young man filling the shelves nearby. The other thing that sort of baffled her was the range of products on display. It wasn't that she had forgotten how her world operated, it was more that she had gotten used to another way of doing things. But at the very least she was thoroughly distracted from all the issues that had made staying in the car such a nightmare.

Of course that only worked until she emerged from the shop to find her husband and her brother had dismissed her command to remain civil and were caught up in a heated argument that, by the looks of it, hadn't come to blows just yet, but it was certainly headed in that direction. Meanwhile Thoren and Thráin amused themselves by trying to teach their sister to walk.

'Oh, for heaven's sake!' she exclaimed, loud enough to get the men's attention. She had been gone for ten minutes, tops. Was it that hard to not get in a fight? She had not expected Thorin and Jacko to become best friends, but honestly, couldn't they have made a bit more of an effort?

'He questioned your honour,' Thorin reported in Khuzdul, as if that explained everything. Truth was that he had probably waiting for a valid excuse to vent his frustration with this world to someone and Jacko had obligingly painted a target on his own forehead.

Ah yes, that would have done it. 'Which made you think you needed to channel Sir Lancelot?' she asked. Bloody hell, she loved that dwarf enough to forsake a whole world for him, but really? Hadn't he learned she knew how to stand up for herself by now? 'I'll deal with my brother. Privately.'

The choice of words brought the faintest hint of a smile to his face. Jacko of course could not see just how uncertain of himself this place made Thorin feel. How could he? It had taken Kate months to figure Thorin out. But she had asked Jacko to cut Thorin some slack and that request had been blatantly ignored. She could blame him for that, couldn't she?

'Jacko, a word,' she told her twin. 'Alone.'

She marched over to a couple of trees out of hearing distance of the car. They stayed within sight, though. It seemed better for everyone's nerves, both Thorin's and Kate's.

The knowledge that she might have an audience did not stop her from rounding on her twin as soon as she had the opportunity. 'What the bloody hell was that about, Jacko? I asked you to cut him some slack, not to provoke him to the point where he's about ready to knock you into the middle of next week!'

'Cut him some slack?' Jacko echoed, eyes wide in disbelief. 'He was about ready to tear me limb from limb!'

'Yes, because he is terrified!' Ugh, how the hell could she even begin to explain Thorin? She had seen him use that ready to commit murder look to cover up the fact that he felt unsure of himself so many times, she had learned how to see through it. But Jacko didn't know that. 'He's been thrown into another world that is so different from what he is used to, where dwarves don't even exist, where the technologies are so alien he doesn't even know where to start trying to understand them. And he's already on guard, because his past experiences with Men haven't left much of a good impression. If you were in his place, you'd freak out to. Hell, I know I did.'

The disbelief did not subside. If anything, it increased.

Kate snorted. 'What, you think I landed in the Shire, was told I was going to be an advisor and just said 'Oh, that's fine. Yeah, sure, let's do that'?'

Now it was his turn to snort. 'Well, what was I supposed to think, Kate? You didn't exactly tell me, did you? We got some lousy letters saying you couldn't come back because you got stuck in a bloody fictional world!' he was steadily building up to shouting level. It was probably a good thing there weren't that many people about. 'We didn't even know if they were from you!'

She rolled her eyes. 'Oh, don't give me that. You know my handwriting.'

'Could be fake. How were we supposed to know?'

'Now you're just talking shit, you know that?' Nope, this was not how she had expected the reunion to go. Maybe she should have, but if she had, it would be later, not hot on the heels of her arrival. It seemed she had severely underestimated how deep Jacko's resentment actually went. 'No one could fake that and they could certainly not fake those videos on the memory card.'

He ignored that. 'It never crossed your mind that your family might need something more than letters and a couple of photographs?'

It was a good thing her children were nearby; else she might have slapped him. 'Did you even read the bloody things properly? I wanted to come back, I did. But that's not the same as being able to.' She had thought she had explained the situation well enough in her letters, but being confronted with a very pissed off brother made her rethink that initial assumption.

'You could have come back.' This time it was Jacko who accused her of talking nonsense, even if he didn't say it in so many words. 'You chose not to. That was what you wrote. You had the opportunity, but you didn't.' He threw his hands up into the air in exasperation, or that was what Kate thought it was anyway. 'Were you that unhappy here that you felt you had to run away to another bloody world?'

'What? No!' How could he even think that? Maybe because you ran away and never came back, a small voice in the back of her head whispered. She pressed a mental mute button. She really didn't need this right now. 'I wasn't unhappy here. I honestly wasn't.'

'Why then, Kate? Why write us all off with a couple of letters and pretend your life in this world never happened?'

Now she was riled. 'Because there wasn't much choice!' she shouted. 'Try to imagine it, would you? The Battle of the Five Armies had just finished. Really just finished; no one had gotten round to naming it yet, and believe you me, elves are quick to name things. I had just found out I was pregnant, Thorin was injured, Kíli was dead, Ori had lost a hand. Not everyone was accounted for, but there were things that needed doing, because dwarves can be a bloody obnoxious bunch when they put their minds to it. We all knew it would not be long before Thranduil and Erland would start nagging again. There was so much to be done, I was knee-deep in all of the mess and that was when Gandalf decided to tell me I couldn't go back permanently. There wasn't any time, Jacko. There just wasn't time!' How could she possibly make him understand?

'You're missing the point, Kate!' he snapped at her. 'Believe me, I'm thrilled that you're here, I really am…'

'You sure sound like it!' she retorted.

He went on as if she hadn't spoken at all. 'But you should have returned eight years ago. You shouldn't have stayed at all! You don't belong there!'

The penny dropped. 'Oh, for heaven's sake, that's what you said to Thorin?' If she had been angry before, she was furious now. 'No, you're missing the point here. I was never going to come back, Jacko, I never was. It took me years to understand that, but…'

It had taken her sleepless nights beyond count to even start to grasp it. Her children had given her plenty of opportunity to sit in the rocking chair and hum them a tune while her thoughts took flight. And she had imagined. She had gone through so many what if scenarios they had made her head spin. And she had always ended up right where she was at that moment: in a rocking chair with a child in her arms. Realistically she knew Gandalf would never have sent her back. Nothing she or even Thorin could have done would have made him change his mind. And whichever way she would have turned, eventually she would have seen Thorin's merits, being forced to work so closely with him. Even if she went back now, knowing what she knew, she wouldn't make any other decisions. True, she might rethink the decision to set Mirkwood on fire, but other than that?

From the moment Gandalf took me, I was destined to live with regrets either way. She could hate the wizard for it, and she did, but the eventual choice where to live had been her own so yes, that was on her and Jacko was right to blame her. Of course, admitting to that in the privacy of her own mind was quite something different than admitting it out loud.

'But what, Kate?' Jacko demanded.

Years of practise and it still takes so much effort to say it. Speaking of messed up. 'I love Thorin,' she said, bracing herself for the protest she knew was coming. 'There, you have it. And it took me bloody long to figure it all out, but I think that was where we were always headed, long before we even realised. I mean, even the elves figured it out and that was when we were barely on speaking terms. And I couldn't leave him then, certainly can't leave him now.' She swallowed, but battled on. 'And no, I don't belong there, I never did, was never meant to. But tough luck, because that's where Thorin is meant to be.'

No protest followed her words. Maybe he was still trying to find a semblance of coherency in them. She couldn't blame him if that were the case; she wasn't even entirely sure what point she had tried to make. There had been a point in there somewhere, of that she was sure. Bloody hell, give her recalcitrant dwarves or scheming elves any day. Those she knew what to do with, those she knew how to fight. Those she wanted to fight. She did not want to fight with her own brother, not when she just wanted to hug him until her breath ran out. So of course she understood his anger. Had she been in his place, she would have been livid too.

'Jacko?'

All the anger seemed to have drained right out of him. 'Bloody hell.'

Kate sighed. 'Yeah, that just about sums it up, I suppose.' And just like that, the fight went out of her. 'I'm sorry, Jacko. I never meant for any of this to happen. It just did.'

'But you would do exactly the same things you did if you got the chance to do it all again.' He knew her well. In the past years, she had forgotten just how well.

And so there was no point in lying. 'Yes.'

'Bloody hell,' he said again.

She nodded. 'I know. Jacko, can we not fight? At least not yet?' It's all I am ever doing. I don't want to fight with my family on top of it. When she had once predicted to Thorin that they would be doomed to fight till the end of their days, she hadn't known she'd be so right about that. A regular Cassandra I am. And I don't even believe my own prophecies.

He gave that a few moments' thought. 'Fine.'

Kate strongly suspected that he didn't want to fight with her any more than she wanted to fight with him. But they were so alike; neither of them could give up or be seen to give up without putting up at least a little resistance. Funny how she had never realised that before.

'Good,' she said. 'Let's go. I want to go and see mum.'

'She might not necessarily take it better than I,' he warned her.

Kate only snorted. 'Don't I just know it? I spend my life rolling from one fight straight into the next, so nothing new there.' She was quite sure she hadn't meant for it to come out so bitterly, but she found she couldn't help it. She did hate how it was all turning out. 'Just let's get going,' she suggested. 'One problem at a time.'

The thing was that the whole one problem at a time had never really applied to her life. But she could pretend, couldn't she?

To Be Continued…

Thorin and Kate were never the inventors of smooth sailing, were they? Anyway, that's the first part. There's more to come, because really, this scenario is way too much fun to play around with. I've got a couple of ideas what might happen to the family, but if you've got suggestions, I'm all ears.

As always, reviews would be very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!