Water overflowed as her feet kept fiddling around, trying to find a comfortable position was challenging in the confined space.
"It's too narrow."
James let out a humoured laugh behind her.
"This idea was yours, Love"
"I can't move my knees" she complained, noticing that his own were at an even more ackward bent, trapped between her hips and the hard sides.
Still, when his hands grabbed onto the edges of the tub and she lost contact with his body, she pushed her back closer to his chest, preventing him from moving and keeping him in place.
Her head raised so she could look at him with a questioning eyebrow. "Where do you plan on going?"
As a hint of mischief glinted in his eyes, his grip loosened as he leaned further down into the rounded surface.
"I apologize. I somehow incorrectly assumed from your words that you were dissatisfied with our current situation"
The evident impertinence in his tone made her smirk, offering a languid shake of her head before resting it on his shoulder letting her eyes close and relaxing herself completely against him.
"No, you're quite comfortable"
"Glad I can be of service for the lady"
It had taken several hours for them to abandon the bed. As much as she delighted in them, her body eventually lost all will to persevere with their strenuous activities, and at the moment she could do no more than to stare at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes.
"Is it finished?" she mumbled distractedly, wanting to prevent herself from falling asleep.
The combination of water surrounding them and his body cushioning hers was intensifying the drowsiness she already felt.
Their intimate proximity allowed her to sense the miniscule twitches of his muscles out of their stupor, at which her eyes parted, in time to see James lift his head from the edge of the tub where it had been resting, looking at her with a perplexed, disoriented frown.
"I gather that your presence home signifies the reparations on that brig have been completed. Am I mistaken?"
Understanding crossed his expression after a long pause, making her feel a little regretful for disturbing what appeared to be the first moment of leisure he'd had in a significant while.
Seeing him finally return home had caused her such delight that Elizabeth had completely forgotten about the past couple of weeks, and about the reason why he had been absent in the first place. Although she was too curious to learn what he had been doing for the last couple weeks, and the motive why his new acquisition had been absent from the bay since the day before.
"You already know about it then." not a question but an affirmation, his tone casual and rather disinterested on the topic.
"Don't you think it would be fairly impossible to miss such interesting novelty in port?" she argued, unwilling to forget the subject. "Although, it was my father who informed me about your plans for it."
Unlike you, she thought pettishly.
His features flinched at the sharpness in her response, appearing more alert than before. "I'm sorry. I hadn't had the time" he offered.
When she failed to return any sort of response, he captured the side of her face and brought his lips to her scowling cheek, brushing them delicately against her skin "Are you displeased with me?"
Instead of acknowledging his question, she asked one of her own. "Why should I?" still, her attempt at indifference was poorly executed and so her lips pursed in an annoyed grimace, glancing away from him while still refusing to admit to such embarrassing behaviour.
Feeling the push of his thumb under her chin, she obeyed with some reluctance, eyes turning to him as he presented her with a doubtful expression and a single eyebrow arched at her.
"It feels like you might be."
Averting her eyes once again, Elizabeth released a defeated sigh, letting her hands wander to capture one of his, distracted playing with his fingers while making a conscious effort to supress her vexation at being kept ignorant about the ship.
"Have you taken it into open waters?"
"I have," he confirmed, easily heeding her wish "I just made port this morning"
"I'm sure it must have been quite a delightful pass" she praised, sounding more petulant than she had meant to, sinking her body deeper into the water and staring intently ahead while scolding herself for her blunder.
Lips pressing into a thin line when his chest shook with a relaxed laugh. However, before she could get truly irritated with him, he nudged her ear affectionately and pulled her tightly to him, taking advantage of her grip on him to interlace his fingers with hers.
"Don´t look so unhappy." he pleaded kindly, using his free hand to brush back the curtain of hair covering her face, bending his neck enough so he could look her in the eye directly "I truly had no intention of keeping it a secret from you." his low voice managing to sooth and entice her at once.
It took but a moment of staring at his splendid face for the crease in her nose to smoothen. The side of her temple bumping lightly against his jaw in mild protest at the obvious ploy.
She already knew that, of course she knew.
It wasn´t the ship itself she was discontent about, but the insistent whisper inside her brain telling her that he was not trusting her; that she was not worthy of his trust.
"Tell me how you came in possession of it then." she demanded, keeping her eyes fixated on the small hollow spot under his jaw.
"You know what my orders are. Every ship that has secured the proper seals must now be escorted safely to the main lanes."
Her worry softened as the uncomfortable doubt in her mind receded with James' swift acquiescence.
"It was a true fortuitus coincidence to have been able to secure their ship after apprehending a crew of smugglers on our return..." as he spoke his expression morphed into cautious confusion "I was quite certain we had captured the last notorious gang operating in nearby waters some years ago." he added distractedly, staring vacantly ahead for a few seconds, until she reclaimed his focus with gentle fingers that delicately stroked the defined curve connecting his shoulder to his neck.
James blinked at her, before resuming his explanation. "Regardless of its might, expecting a lone ship to manage numerous tasks simultaneously is becoming... impossible to sustain."
She heard the bitterness at the admission, but instead of attempting to offer any unnecessary words of consolation she simply stared at him attentively, encouraging him to continue.
"Besides, The Dauntless requires significant personnel to operate at full capacity. Taking so many men away from the city for prolonged periods of time is not conducive to safe guard the welfare of Por Royal."
She hummed in understanding, mildly distracted by the way the cadence of his deep voice resonated against her back, staring at their joined hands as he heedlessly caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.
"While inspecting the condition of the ship after capture, I.. decided it could be of use."
A small smirk drew on her lips when she heard the faint hint of abashment, finding it silly. Rather than disappointment, -which he so evidently seemed to fear- she discovered that James' unlikely solution to one of his most pressing concerns, made her feel rather proud of him, in an odd way.
Her mind was forced back to attention when, without her prompt, he added "I promise I was not hunting for it."
The words took her entirely by surprise, making her shoulders straightened so she could see his whole face more clearly, but feeling entirely unsure on how to respond without understanding what he exactly he meant to tell her with those words.
Elizabeth had no notion of what sort of expression was currently directing her features, but when James saw it he smiled at her reassuringly, stroking her nape with careful fingers.
"It cannot compare to The Interceptor," he continued, without ever giving her the opportunity to speak. "but it proved to have some merits of its own."
Such was the disarray of her thoughts that it took her some time to realize he was back to talking about the bring.
"Overall, it was a satisfactory expedition" he admitted, responding to her underhanded comment from before with a small smirk.
While his words retained the same guileless tone he had maintained through... she could distinguish the regret and sadness carefully buried in it.
The Interceptor had been an excellent ship, fastest one in the Caribbean after The Black Pearl, and also James' first command. She had watched him proudly captained it for years. Long before he was given The Dauntless, James had invested incessant efforts into chasing and capturing so many pirates with it... and that demon Barbossa had destroyed it with sickening pleasure in the most cowardly and infuriating manner.
"But you miss The Interceptor" she realized, suddenly feeling saddened on his behalf.
To her confusion, instead of his spirit decaying any further by the reminder, his smirk grew.
"You are such an attentive wife" he praised, giving her jaw a light kiss and holding her tighter as his finger dug into her curls, fiddling with a lock near her ear.
At the mild tone of tease in his voice she splashed a handful of water at him before turning away. "There is no need to sound so startled" she complained with a grumble.
Thoughts swiftly diverted when she felt him push her hair over one shoulder so his nose could brush a path down the back of her neck. A small shivers following its path as it traced lightly over her skin, face drawing even nearer, until she felt his lips make contact with the tip of her ear.
"I'm immensely pleased, not startled." he corrected, moving his lips down in a languid path to her cheek. "I am grateful for your sentiment, but its loss is not a matter you should give any mind to." he murmured gently against her skin.
Unconvinced about the veracity of his words, she frowned with suspicion.
James' next words were unexpected, more so due to the bordering indifference he spoke with. "I tried to sink it myself, before those wretched pirates managed to"
The bewilderment she felt must have been reflected on her expression, because he let out a short, pleased chuckle, like he relished in having managed to elicit such a reaction out of her.
Turning as best as she could in the narrow confine of his arms she blurted with disbelief "Why would you ever do that?"
His expression lost some of its humor at the question, morphing into an slightly aggravated scowl "Because it was preferable than to allow Sparrow to take it."
Such juvenile response made her giggle dumbly in surprise, unable to resist giving a short brush to his lips.
"That does sound precisely like you Commodore" she agreed, cheerfully staring at him and enthusiastically returning his affection when his lips leaned towards hers.
"Were you that jealous he got to take off my stays before you did?" she breathed playfully against his mouth.
His body went completely still, face putting enough distance between them that she could see the unamused glare of his piercing green eyes, his hands finding her hips and turning her until their fronts were pressed close, holding her securely to him.
"Don´t ever say such harrowing thing again. I will lose my meal." he demanded. The warning growl that followed made her laugh again. Instantly stopping when he kissed her once more, more deeply this time, leaving her pleasantly immersed in the taste of him. "My blood starts boiling at the mere memory, Elizabeth" he insisted, keeping the deep frown in place while reaching up to hold her face in his palm, fingers curling gently "Rocks be damned, I should have jumped after you."
Placing her hand over his, she squeezed tightly. "No, you should not have." she contradicted him with firm resolution, knowing he could have easily killed himself from such fall.
"Seeing you laying unconscious... and then having you defend him... I was willing to hang him long before I had ascertain he was a pirate"
That day was easy to remember.
The inability to draw in a proper breath all day; the rush of air followed by darkness; regaining consciousness to the sight of a strange looking man leaning over her; a blade emerging a second later.
The day had been plagued by too many misfortunes, but James' unwarranted hostility towards the stranger that saved her life had been incomprehensible to her.
Drawing closer her hold slipped to his wrist, bringing his palm to rest in the valley between her breasts, enjoying the sensation of it slowly travelling down her front before it finally found its place back on her hip.
Her mouth moving next to his ear. "Stop being upset." she pleaded with a soft tease "I´ve let you remove my garments plenty of times" she taunted, gingerly caressing a trail down his neck with delicate fingers, to where she could freely feel the beat of his heart "I am entirely willing to let you do it as many times as you want" she whispered promisingly, kissing the lobe of his ear before grazing it with her teeth.
Elizabeth was trying to distract him, he was certain; and so he allowed her to do so, acquiescing with her intentions when her lips moved to his.
It was rare for either of them to mention anything related to the attack of the year prior, as neither was keen to relieve the occurrences, but having already started the conversation, she was suddenly unable to resist the curiosity over a matter she had never inquired before.
"It never occurred to me to ask you before… How could they manage to take The Interceptor?"
It was a rather unbelievable event.
James' fingers dug a little hard on her back as his eyes filled with conflict. For a moment making her worried that she might have offended him; then his face dropped to her shoulder as a harsh, incensed exhale hit her skin.
"Sparrow played me for a fool" he mumbled, and his admittance was said with such reticence that it sounded like he was confessing to an unforgivable sin.
His words only serving to aggravate her confusion. "How so?" she asked more delicately, keeping her breaths low and even.
A softer sigh escaped again before he finally abandoned his hideout on her neck. When their eyes met she smiled, he gave her a mirroring pull of the lips before continuing. "They boarded The Dauntless. While we were occupied preparing The Interceptor they..." closing his eyes, he let his neck tensely tilt from side to side, somehow relaxing with a grateful look when she used her fingers to dig into the hardened muscle. "I can only remember how insane I thought they were, finding myself almost impressed by the level of idiocy required to believe it possible to steal a first of the line with a crew of two"
Elizabeth already had a reasonable suspicion of what had occurred, but her thumb moved calmly over the angle of his jaw as she waited for him.
"Bringing The Interceptor close, ordering all my men to board and search the ship…"
An entirely dim-witted decision, she agreed silently, but not something she would have expected from him. In reality, she considered James' judgment to be very sensible, prudent to the point of callousness sometimes. It frustrated her when he would use it to deny her, but his sharpness was respectable.
Knowing so, she was certain that he berated himself every time he recalled his mistake.
Her conjectures were quickly confirmed when his head shook faintly, a disgruntled frown accompanying his embarrassed lament "I did exactly as they wanted me to."
James' expression was so full of conflict mixed with disbelief that she thoughtlessly let a mirthful laugh erupt when she imagined what he described: Jack's satisfied grin while her poor husband's incredulous face stared helplessly at the inane pirate as he sailed away with his ship.
He huffed, giving her hips a reprimanding squeeze as his teeth gave her shoulder a retaliatory bite, raising his indignant gaze for her to appreciate.
"Forgive me" she begged nicely, offering the most charming repentant smile she could muster, which made him sigh in defeat and lean back against the head of the tub once more.
"I´m glad at least one of us can find some form of entertainment over that particular experience" he declared with unwilling amusement, exhaling contently when she moved her head to rest on his shoulder. His temple resting on the top of her head and giving it a kiss. "The bastard disabled the rudder chain of The Dauntless as a parting goodbye, Elizabeth... I was livid" he added, thinly veiled hostility darkening his features.
Knowing him, wrathful must have been much closer to what he actually felt on that day, and she found herself in awe at the fact that he had not tried to abandon Jack to rot on that deserted island after locating them.
"Groves even had the gall to praise Sparrow. 'Best pirate I've ever seen' I believe were his precise words"
Her hand flew to cover her mouth as to prevent the new bout of laughter bubbling in her belly. While Elizabeth found his story very entertaining, she did not want him to think she was finding any real pleasure in his distress, nor was she intending to mock him.
But James persisted with a tone devoid of bitterness "I almost threw him overboard, right then and there"
The little snort that escaped her was simply uncontainable, her lips pushed against his neck to hide her mirth but they still drew upwards, playfully adding "I´ve said it before, Jack Sparrow is not a complete simpleton"
"So you are also of the opinion that I behaved mindlessly"
Her head was shaking in contradiction before he had finished speaking. Grabbing his hand, she brought it up to her lips and deposited a kiss on the back of it. Wanting him to listen to her words carefully, she continued in a softer, more sober manner "I believe you should be the one most aware of pirates fraudulent tactics"
His hand tightened around hers, a short hum his only response.
Raising her eyes, she used a single knuckle to push on his chin and bring his eyes level with hers "Yet... you can be quite arrogant Dear, you enjoy being the smartest person in the room and you hate being questioned"
Her words were sure and critical but not meant to be unkind, she only wanted him to be more cautious.
A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. "Sounds strangely similar to someone I know" he replied, eyes opening to stare at her with challenge, not ever attempting to mask who he was referring to. "And how can you be so certain of it?"
There was a sly twinkle shining in her expression as she replied "Because I consider that quality of yours particularly enticing"
"My arrogance?" he scoffed softly, likely thinking that she was jesting.
"I prefer to consider it as well-earned surety."
"You do take a liking for the oddest things, Love" he complained jokingly, brushing the back of his hand along her cheek.
With her good mood undeterred she shifted her head, intercepting his lips when he looked down at the shift and placing a firm, lingering kiss on his wet mouth before biting down on his lower lip gently.
"Stop being difficult and accept it already. You were upset that a pair you thought of as your inferiors managed to outsmart you" she explained, a little taunt barely concealed, but then she frowned a little with concern "If you act thinking that your enemies are beneath you, you'll put yourself in unnecessary risk"
His expression softened as he maintained a relaxed disposition, "Your critique is rather harsh, Love." he protested lightly, before his gaze grew serious "But you're correct, my judgment was lacking."
"Your maid came running into the fort that night, frantically screaming that you had been taken. I... there were only corpses left inside when we arrived at the Mansion, the attack on the city continued with relentlessness... the port was destroyed, and you were nowhere to be found." James' voice became progressively grimmer as he spoke, "Those pirates took you without ever trying to negotiate, leaving me clueless as to where they had taken you. Nor did I know what they were planning on doing to you... I used every ounce of discipline I had in me not to imagine it. You're father was sick with worry.…" his words became a hostile growl as his expression morphed into something filled with resent "Then those two bastards stole my best chance of finding you; The Dauntless had been rendered useless when time was of utmost importance. And..." his voice faltered, an uncomfortable rasp of his throat before his voice regaining its steadiness. "you could have been gravely injured, Elizabeth. You could have been killed before we were able to find you, and I would have never been able to forgive myself for that"
The profound distraught reflected in front of her was upsetting, and her heart tightened with each word that left his mouth, feeling entirely foolish for being unable to understand before.
"Nothing happened to me" she interrupted, holding onto him tightly enough to be unpleasant.
But instead of retreating, his fingers gave hers a small nudge. She acquiescence without thought, opening her palm and quietly watching as a purposeful thumb moved along the faint scar that still lingered there, his gaze staring vacantly at the mark as well. He needn't say anything for her to understand.
It easily could have.
She knew just how right those words were. Many unwanted memories from that time returned uninvited; when Barbossa had given the order for The Pearl to leave the bay without putting her on a boat first, her heart had sunk to her feet; every hour spent crouched against one of the corner of that dark cabin had felt like waiting for the moment of her inevitable demise; every time one of those disgusting men approached her, her mind raced with alarm as her body readied in preparation to fight. She had been in danger, and there had been no one to help and nowhere to run.
"I was sick with worry, humiliated, furious... and powerless"
"You found me" she argued -a sad attempt to raise his spirit,- nevertheless it brought the smallest of smiles to his lips, even if it wasn't an entirely happy one.
"I can't express the amount of relief I felt when we finally did" he conceded "And although you became furious at being denied what you wanted," he remembered, smiling deviously and bringing his face close to hers so he could nuzzle her cheek with his nose "you were clever enough to get me to do your bidding in the end."
It was clear that his words were meant to be a jest instead of an accusation, but what her mind invoked were the images of his surprised but hopeful stare; the way in which he had challenged her father with a poor excuse so he could please her; his unsure smile when he thought she accepted his proposal sincerely.
Intense shame burned her cheeks and compressed her chest as she remembered what she'd done in order to ensure James would lead Will's rescue. Her palms moving up his shoulders, arms drifting behind his back, holding onto his neck tightly as her face sought refuge against his skin.
A soft mumble, almost timid in nature was all she could muster "I´m sorry"
"What would you possibly need to apologize for?" he breathed in her ear, returning the embrace while stroking her back with soothing motions.
For everything. All of it. It had been her fault. Everything happened because of her and her idiocy.
Even is she wasn't the one to do it, her mindless decision to take Will´s medallion as a child was what guided The Black Pearl directly to Port Royal, caused the attack on the city, even the destruction of The Interceptor.
Her only intention had been to protect Will by doing so, but... Had she truly?
If she had returned it to him sooner... maybe none of it would have happened. He would probably still be around, instead of having ended a wanted criminal.
The small object had been the only remembrance he'd had from his father, and she had taken even that from him...
She should have returned it to him the moment she became old enough to realize James was not going to send a guiltless young boy to the gallows over a single piece of gold with a stupid skeleton on it, he probably would not have ever even discovered Will had it.
But her selfishness had been strong enough to want to keep it. It had been her secret, a small act of defiance, one that made her feel closer to him.
And perhaps, there had been a part of her that had kept it as a small revenge against Will, for being a coward that let her efforts and affections remain ignored. She knew better now; he had merely been trying to protect her, in the only way he knew how. And she'd been much too stubborn to accept it.
Kind, noble and timid as he'd been, Will would never have dared cross the line separating them, nor risk her station and reputation.
In the end, she hadn't even understood him as well as she had presumed to. He had not been timid, and he most definitely had not been cowardly. Will was daring and brave; daring enough to ally himself with a pirate in order to save her life, brave enough to stand at the end of a blade to defend what he knew was just. Even when she failed to do the right thing, he had not, and for that, she had to admire him.
Facing the reality of her decision was not something she wished to dwell on, and the contrast against the warmth of the embrace of the arms surrounding her, made it all too easy to forget, leaving her unable to care much for what she'd done.
The dark eyes from her memory replaced by the light, mesmerizing ones in front of her
"I´m sorry for using you as I did" she amended carefully.
Yet his face showed nothing but tranquility and a light smile of understanding. "I told you before, I was vaguely aware you words were not quite sincere, and yet…" his eyes filled with guilt as he confessed "all I wanted was to believe you were, so I did"
"But I lied to you." she insisted, becoming irked that he was fighting her apology "You had no reason to doubt my words."
"We both know I did" he resolved, contradicting her again "I'm the one who chose to ignore my instincts and trust your lie instead."
"I…" her fingers clung to him even harder, wanting to feel the comfort he provided before confessing in a reticent mumble "I put everyone in danger …and I can't say I truly cared that I was, or about what would happen to you."
Knowing what she knew now, the certainty of what would have happened provoked immense guilt to flood her body with each word she said.
If not for Jack and Will lifting the curse, she would have gotten James, her own father, and everyone else aboard The Dauntless killed on that day.
His eyebrows pulled with concern, but his hand continued stroking her back in comforting circles. "Elizabeth, why are you so concerned about such thing? None of it matters anymore."
There was no hint of reproach in him, his voice was steady and honest. And yet, she remembered, his eyes had told her what his mouth would not. Those beautiful clear eyes that always looked at her with unwavering affection had filled with misery and betrayal.
"I wounded you" she acknowledged, feeling the words leave a pungent taste as they abandoned her mouth.
A question she had never dared ask him before grappled in her mind, too afraid of what his answer could be. Still, it was something she had wondered since the moment she first learned of his true feelings for her.
"And the thought that you might resent me for what I did, frightens me so" when he immediately opened his mouth to protest she hastily added "Not even the slightless? Not even for a moment?"
This time there were deep lines of honest contemplation drawn on his forehead, wordlessly bringing his other arm around her, he held her securely around the small of her back as his deep voice broke the silence "I'm a grown man, Elizabeth" he reminded her with a comforting smile, letting his body remained completely relaxed under her anxious touch, breath steady, fingers never once stopping the light strokes along her skin "My decisions and my actions are my own responsibility."
"But..."
A sigh left him "I may have been too overconfident." he admitted, looking to the side, out of the window "I suppose my 'surety' would not allow for such thought, because I truly never once fathomed the possibility that you interest may have leaned towards a blacksmith apprentice over me…"
The corner of his eye wrinkled as his eyes narrowed.
The shape of the port was barely visible from their room, but she knew that was not what he stared at.
"Even the simplest buffon could not have remained ignorant after seeing the way you looked at me that day on the battlement."
It was what she had expected. Except, she didn't want to hear the sadness in his voice anymore.
Her hand moved to brush his cheek, willing him to forget about her actions on that ledge. His gaze darting to her at the contact, expression sober and rigid .
"James.." she called sadly.
He continued before she could say more "Elizabeth, I would hope you don't regard me to be such a miserable man as to fault you over your feelings for him" his words were poignant and he was unmistakably uncomfortable about the subject, yet he persisted. "I have never resented you, and I'm not angry. It was never my intention to let you believe so."
There was something in the way he spoke that continued to trouble her, and she wanted it to stop "James… I don´t…"
Whatever he imagined she was going to say, he clearly didn't want to listen to it.
"I would do much worse than steal a ship, or accept a marriage proposal if it was to keep you safe." he insisted stubbornly "I will do worse if I ever need to" his tone calm and serious, his gaze made it clear he was sincere.
Above any other feeling, irrational jealousy filled her when a ridiculous notion entered her mind, distracting her from all other worries as her fingers closed around strands of his hair.
"You will be in a world of endless pain if you ever accept another woman's propositions, James Norrington." she threatened him seriously, holding his gaze with fierce determination. "Of any kind. Not. Ever."
Instead of achieving her desired effect, James' face lost some of its stoicism as traces of amusement took its place, the smallest of chuckles escaping at her threat. Unintentionally soothing the uneasy atmosphere that had befallen them.
"That would be a truly terrifying sight to behold."
She grabbed his jaw with a sure grip before warning him with an involuntary pout "It is not a jest. I will have you flogged" was her immature threat while carefully running her fingers down his unmarred back.
"I understand" he promised, only after he managed to recomposed himself completely, giving her frowning brow an apologetic kiss and brushing a thick lock away from her forehead. "...Have you been worrying yourself over something like that?"
A quick nod serving as her only answer.
The slight smile slowly disappeared from his face as he continued staring at her, his expression shifting into something odd and difficult to interpret.
"There is something that has been troubling me as well." he eventually admitted.
"Tell me" she ordered, wanting to help reassure him.
"...Do you still?"
The prolonged silence after she waited for him sparked her impatience, more so with his decision to be cryptic.
A curious eyebrow raised at him."I don't understand what you mean, James"
He hesitated for a vexing amount of time, finally sighing and reluctantly adding "Do you still resent me?"
The question left her so bewildered that she could so no more than blink at him for several seconds. "I have no reason to."
She tried to be firm, although the confusion was evident even to her own ears.
"Turner"
It was just the one word, but it proved enough to make her heart fall down precipitously to her stomach and her chest become tight with alarm as her shoulders went painfully rigid.
"I would have done it, Elizabeth" steady breaths accompanied by strong but tempered words conveyed his unwavering conviction and honesty "Taking them both to the gallows was my duty. I knew that was what I was obliged to do... And the only thing that prevented me from doing so, was the certainty that you would have hated me the rest of our lives for it"
Being unable to argue against him caused her great impotence. And the feeling of his eyes seeking her, while hers decidedly avoided him made her burn with shame, still her mouth wouldn't part.
She would have.
Had he chosen to kill Will that day... she would not have been able to forgive him.
But he hadn't done it. Their relationship was different from before, her feelings were different from before. James needn't live with such burdensome, useless thoughts.
"He does not matter" her tone was brusque and cutting, wanting it to stop.
Unfortunately, James wouldn't listen to her.
"My concerns revolve around the possible outcomes of what might occur if William Turner were to appear in front of you ever again" he confessed quietly, seemingly uncertain of his own words.
An ice cold streak moved down her neck, sending an unpleasant shiver through her body, her skin raising in spite of the high temperature of the water surrounding them. His expectant stare left her feeling hesitant on what was the correct way to react to such admission.
Above all, she did not want to acknowledge the meaning behind the words.
Once, when her father had tried to advice her about ever considering such abhorrent offense, she had only felt insulted. However, hearing the same hesitation from James only caused her distress.
So she stared at him, willing him to desist.
"Elizabeth..."
"Why would you ever entertain such egregious concern" she managed to croak, already certain of what he had truly meant to ask.
Thin lips pressed into an even thinner line, but he remained quiet as he stared at her with a gaze full of conflict.
Feeling her frustration start to dominate her, her treacherous mouth opened again without her consent "What could possibly change if he did?"
The almost accusatory growl in her words was almost too difficult to understand, until the reason of her deep unease finally dawned on her, making her temper rise to the point of dizziness.
He couldn't.
"You would allow it!?" she screeched. Incredulity, bafflement and betrayal fighting for attention inside her. At the same time, the notion offended her beyond what was reasonable "Would you truly allow it?" she demanded, voice rising "For me to simply... Ieave?"
To abandon you?
"If that's what you wished from me I..."
Unconteinable fury sized her chilled veins at his sincere resignation, cold receding to give its place to an unbearable heat that left her feeling breathless.
Was this man an idiot?
Not once since she'd known him had she thought of James in such manner, but at that precise moment it was a pressing worry at the back of her mind.
The man could be truly infuriating in some ways and she did not want to continue listening to him.
"It's not" she spat angrily.
Why would she want him to do something so ludicrous?
Ignoring her wish with blatant disregard, James persisted with his inane nonsense.
"I was ready to do so." he confessed, raising his hand and stroking her jaw. Not realizing just how tightly she had been clenching it until that moment. "The day you tried to protect Turner... I could have." he persisted "If you had gazed at me with those determined eyes of yours and told me you loved him... I would have let you go to him"
The look of complete sincerity and understanding he offered made her ill, draining the anger out of her.
"You love me" she blurted with frustration.
It wasn´t an attempt to confirm his feelings nor to reassure herself, she knew he did, she was certain he did.
"Wouldn't you rather have me?"
Even as she asked, insecurity budded in her heart, fingers digging into his skin possessively, as if that could prevent anything from taking him away from her.
"I love you." he agreed with earnest ease "I want you. The thought of you choosing him over me is simply unbearable now, Elizabeth"
A sad smiled appeared when she predicted the upcoming rebuttal to his own declaration.
"Even so, if you still feel affection for him... "
A heavy weight settled on her chest, leaving her numbed.
Always striving to do the honourable thing instead of the smart one.
Not capable of bearing to hear the end of that sentence, she exhaled tiredly using light fingers to halt his mouth "I don't want to listen anymore"
The tortured expression was completely transparent to her. The conflict in his eyes, the tension in his features, the resignation on his shoulders and the vulnerability in his voice... It all made her stomach turn with a strong wave of nausea.
The strength with which her hand fisted around nothing but air was painful.
"Nor can I decide whether I love or hate this part of you."
Weakened fingers fell down, landing on his chest and lingering over his heart.
"How would you have me respond to such unfair and cruel words James?"
It was him who escaped her gaze this time. "Forgive me"
So completely foolish.
The misery exuding from him wasn't what she wanted.
"Think about yourself for once, you enormous fool." she whispered, much more gently.
"What would you have me do then?"
"Berate me, threaten me, lock me in one of the rooms"
Ask me to stay.
Beg if you will, lie if you must... Fight if you need to.
It's what she would do if he tried to leave.
His laugh at her suggestions seemed to be almost honest. "You know I could never do that to you."
"I would."
"That won't happen. I would be nothing but miserable without you"
His pained grimace made her own features distort with regret of having ever opened her mouth.
Delicate fingers moved over every contour she found on his body, each line and raise was familiar, comforting.
A man willing to do everything for her, everything but ask for what she wanted most.
Maybe she was the one behaving foolishly, Elizabeth mused, finding her mind devoid of a proper response.
Rubbing her face in frustration she dug her fingers into her hair, offering a defeated apology "Forgive me. The conversation is going in an entirely unpleasant direction"
"Don't apologize," he pleaded, attempting to pry her hands away from her hair with the aid of his own "I'm the one who…"
"I love." she interrupted him abruptly, defensively, and completely exasperatedly.
She could not tolerate any more of it.
Dragging her hands away from her face so she could glare at him with equal parts concern and irritation. "You are the one that I love" she repeated.
He looked completely unprepared for her proclamation of love, but also immensely relieved. A miniscule shake of his head, as if he was trying to dissipate all thoughts.
"I do understand that. Still, you were…"
Hearing the end of that sentence was the last thing she ever wanted to hear from him.
"I'm in love with you" she insisted, voice firm and warning this time "I don't care about him anymore, not.. in such way."
Thinking about Will made her feel uncomfortable, guilty and sad, but she had long since stopped hoping he would return with the same tide that had taken him away from her.
What made James doubt her so? Why couldn't he trust her?
Seeing that his frown remained doubful her nails accidentally dug too harshly into his forearms, thumbs rubbing delicately over the reddened skin that he was paying no mind to.
"Do you believe me such a fool to not know my own mind? or... do you think I´ve been lying to you? Have you been expecting me to leave?"
The possibility that she might be correct was much too appalling.
Was her love not enough? Had she failed again?
But James was vehemently shaking his head in denial before she had finished. "You know that is not true."
"I would reckon your life would be less onerous without me in it" she continued bitterly.
"Elizabeth"
"William Turner… I don't need him, nor do I want to see him anymore. I promise."
He had already disappeared from their lives, and she did not want her husband thinking about that man any longer. She did not want to have to think about that man. All of it had already passed.
"...can you not trust me?"
"I do" he swore, using gentle knuckles to trace soft caresses down her cheek "I'm at fault. Forgive me. "
Her own head shook aggressively in response.
"I don´t wish for your apologies either!" she growled with frustration "just… believe me" she begged, barely controlling the upset waver in her voice, taking his hands and bringing them both to frame her face "I´m here with you... and I wish to stay with you"
Her voice was a soft whisper, a confession meant only for his ears.
"Elizabeth" his confident determination returning to him as he spoke "To me, you are the most important thing there is. I care about your happiness more than anything else"
The tension in her body finally began easing with his promise, allowing the tight grip that had settled on her body to relax slightly.
"You swore to stay by my side, you can't leave me" the warning wasn't meant to intimidate this time; she was entirely willing to beg if that would help persuade him of her own earnestness.
"You're mine, my family." she reminded him decisively, not permitting any subtlety or reservation to her desires.
The dangerously possessive hint laying under her determined expression excited him deeply.
"And you do make me happy... Happier than anyone else could" a last remainder, a promising whisper leving her lips before they became focused with brushing against him, feeling one of his hands bury inside her locks, massaging her scalp softly at the same time he used it to secure her still.
Her wet tongue languidly slid against his as she held him close; so close that their bodies could not be separated.
"There's no one else" she mumbled against his mouth once they were forced to part for a short respite, moving down his skin, maintaining her worry about the possibility of him not believing her. "You only need to remember that"
"I know" he rasped back.
Elizabeth seemed to be the one having difficulties believing his sincerity this time. Her movements were rough, hurried, desperate almost; she kissed him in a way that made him feel like she was trying to force the truth from her mouth into his without knowing how to do it...
Somehow it felt like, regardless of how she said it, he could never believe it.
A deep sound in his throat conveyed his pleasure, kiss deepening and matching her passion. It suited her perfectly.
While she laid on top of him as his soft lips moved against hers, the hand that had been holding her secure to his body started slowly dragging down her back.
Brushing her forehead against his, she whispered regretfully "You´re terrible" she panted, resting against his shoulder, breath ragged with the effort "I can not do it anymore."
"It's not my responsibility, you´re the one who attacked me first" he responding, but his strong arms loosened his grip.
"Attacked you?" she repeated incredulously, feeling the mirth from before gradually returning to her. "That's plain slander, Sir"
His expression was incredibly self-satisfied when he added "Do not tempt me then"
"Do not make me wait for you" she retorted softly, nose rubbing along his, while continuing to struggle for a proper breath.
His eyes closed, and when his head moved to rest down on her shoulder, her palm held onto the short strands at the base of his neck, gently patting the back of his head, feeling his smile draw against her skin.
"You are treating me like a child, Elizabeth." His complaint was disingenuous, his face hiding deeper into her chest as he released a content sigh "There is no need for you to cosset me"
Not caring about his words, she held him securely, burying her nose in his dark head. "I'm aware."
Note: sorry it took a while. My laptop was not working and I had no idea how to upload from a phone. Hope you enjoy!