Author's Notes: Oh man. So this is another quick update, and that's because I've had the idea for how I've wanted to do this episode for a looooooooong time. It was just a matter of getting the characters to the right place in their story arcs. I'm really looking forward to continuing this 'verse after this story.

As they came in for a crash landing, Kochanski reflected that this still wasn't the worst holiday she'd been on. That honor would always go to the time her parents took them to the zoo at Glasgow, and her brother had thrown her backpack into the snake pit.

She looked across to Rimmer, who was currently bracing himself in his crash position. She felt guilty. After all, she'd insisted on this three week fishing trip. A chance to get out and just relax, floating on an ocean moon and enjoying the scenery. She'd even suggested he bring his art supplies in case he felt like painting the scenery. Now he was probably going to die. But hey ho – they all were. That was hardly anything new.

What was really curious was that there had been another spacecraft out there. It had literally just appeared out of nowhere – through some sort of rip in reality, as Holly had described it – and had almost instantly collided with them. Something about Starbug – it attracted danger. They really needed to try flying Blue Midget again. Hardly anything bad happened in that one.

They bumped and crashed into the ocean moon, which seemed to be having a bit of a storm going on. Probably should've checked the weather before leaving, but hey – hindsight's twenty-twenty. The ship finally came in for a bumpy landing against a massive cliff-face, wobbling back and forth a bit before everything came to a stop.

Kochanski looked up. She had no mass, so the sudden impact hadn't really affected her. Her eyes scanned the mid-section. Power lines were dangling and everything was knocked over. She heard footsteps and saw Kryten waddling in, already fretting about the place.

"Is everyone okay?"

There was a thud behind them, and they saw Rimmer crawling his way out from under some packing crates. "Did anyone get the number of that lorry?" he slurred, stumbling into the open.

Kochanski hurried over to him. "Rimmer? You okay?"

"Never better. The half a dozen splinters adorning my trouser leg were just the fashion accessory I needed."

She turned back to Kryten. "He's quipping. He'll be okay."

"Which is more than can be said for the Cat!" Kryten said urgently, spotting their best-dressed crewmember lying flat on his back.

Kochanski was by his side in an instant. "Cat, are you okay?"

Cat moaned in pain. "It's bad, Officer BB! It's real bad! See what I mean?" he pointed at the blood stain on his trousers. "Red with apricot. I look like a jerk. I'm bleeding an unfashionable color. If I'd known I was going to get my leg crushed I'd have worn white. It goes with everything."

"Kryten, get this First Aid box! We need to get him cleaned up!"

While the others set about helping the Cat, Rimmer climbed over the wreckage and found Holly's monitor. The computer's face was tilted by about forty-five degrees. Whether it was a bad connection or she was taking the mickey, who knew, but for now, they were in trouble. "Holly, how bad is it?"

"It doesn't look good. We've lost the port engine, the starboard engines packed up, the fuel line's severed, we're taking in water through the hull, we've lost the landing jets, half the electric's out, and the elastic's snapped on the furry dice."

"What does that mean in real terms?"

"Well, it means you got a more tasteful cockpit but unless you fix that starboard engine in the next forty minutes we're going to start sinking."

"Anything we can do?"

"We could try to hire a dance band and get it to play 'Abide With Me'."

"Great. And there's no one onboard who can fix the engines."

"And even if there were, there's a forty knot gale going on out there," added Kryten. "Only a fool or a hero would go out there."

It was about ten minutes later when the fool / hero made himself known. The airlock door whizzed open, and after a brief splash and a gust of wind, it shut behind a tall man in a flight suit, a fierce mane of blonde hair, and a confident swagger that told everyone that he meant business.

Also, he had Rimmer's face. Very strange.

"Name's Commander Rimmer. Arnold Rimmer. Friends call me 'Ace.' I've come from another dimension. Explain later. But first of all, let's get you out of this pit." He pointed at the bewildered Kryten. "What do they call you, matey?"

Kryten stuttered briefly. "Er, Kryten, sir."

"Series 4000 mechanoid, am I right? Salt of the Space Corps." He turned and found Kochanski. "Kristine!"

Kochanski almost yelped when she saw those familiar flared nostrils. Had that face always been that attractive…? "You… know me?"

"Sorry, you look like someone I once knew." Then, his face fell. "Oh… sorry, I didn't realize you were…" He tapped his forehead, indicating her 'H'.

"Oh," she said, waving him off. "Not important right now. We have to worry about getting us back in the air and getting our feline friend here some medical attention."

"Excellent!" said Ace, impressed. "Right attitude. I take it you refer to the gentleman in the smashing suit?"

"He hasn't got a name. We just call him 'the Cat'."

"Looks like you bought yourself a broken leg there, Cat. I love the Cuban heels."

Cat managed a dazed smile in return.

Ace turned and spotted Holly on the monitor. "Who's the beautifully delicious, stunningly gorgeous computer?"

"… Holly…," she replied with a big dopey grin before swooning right off the screen.

Having heard the activity from the cockpit, Rimmer himself walked into the room and found himself looking at… himself. "What the hell…?"

Ace looked equally stunned by his doppelganger. "My god, it's me, only much more handsome! Well, looks like I'm superfluous. Old Arnie'll have you out of here in no time!"

"You're me?!"

"Don't quite understand the science, but it's got something to do with us living identical lives up until a certain point, where a decision was made, and you went one way, I went the other. Still, can't hang around chin-wagging all day. Let's get this box up into the air, shall we? What's your plan, Arn?"

Rimmer blinked, taken off-guard. "I haven't got one."

It was the first time since he'd walked in that Ace seemed to lose a little of the wind in his sails. He looked briefly flummoxed before he corrected course. "Okay, right, well, um… I suggest this: the starboard engine is repairable, but it's a two-man job. Any volunteers?"

There was a very long silence as they all looked at each other. Then, Rimmer began to do the math – Kochanski was intangible, Cat had a broken leg, and Kryten wasn't waterproof. So that meant…

He cleared his throat awkwardly, trying swallow down the utter terror in the back of his throat. "Well… looks like it's me, then…"

Ace beamed and clapped his other self on the shoulder. "Knew we could count on you, Arnie!" he said cheerfully. "Now then – let's get cracking! What's the starboard engine's thrust-to-input ratio, Arn?"

Rimmer suddenly felt like a little kid in class again. "I… don't know… Not really an expert on these things," he said awkwardly.

Ace blinked, looking even less impressed than before. "Well… we'll work that out when we get there. Come on, Arnie. Better grab a brolly. There's a bit of a drizzle outside."

Kryten spoke up. "Sir? Might I have a word in private?"

"Of course, old friend! Excuse us…," he said to the others before following the mech in to the cockpit.

Rimmer watched him leave, then slumped against the far wall, his heart pounding. "Oh god…," he moaned.

Kochanski had by now managed to get over her own shock and went over to him. "Rimmer, look at me," she said, wishing she could grab him by the shoulders reassuringly. "Look, I know you're scared, but you're our only hope right now."

Rimmer managed to scowl through his panic. "Right, because that's sure to calm my nerves!"

"Listen – this other you seems to know what he's doing. Just stick with him. Do as he says. And for god's sake, don't play the comparison game."

"The what?"

"I saw that look when he asked you about the engines. Don't let it get to you, okay? I promise you, it's okay that you didn't know the answer to that."

Rimmer rubbed his arm, embarrassed. "I just… It was like being drilled by my father again…"

"Well, he's not your father. He's you. He's been there. He had that same childhood. It's not something to hide from. If anything, he'll understand more than anyone."

"But what if he didn't? He said that we had the same life until some crucial decision was made! What if he had a completely different childhood?"

Kochanski looked him dead in the eye. "Rimmer, trust me. You could spend your whole life worrying about the 'what-ifs'. Focus on the here and now, okay? You can do this."

Rimmer swallowed again. "You're sure about that?"

Kochanski smiled. "You're the one who saved the ship when travelling at light speed almost blew up the Drive Room. You're the one who showed me what an arse Tim was. You sacrificed one of your toy soldiers to save my teddy bear. You went into a timeslide alone to save me from a messed up future. So, call me biased, but I think you can do it."

For the briefest of moments, the usual weaselly cowardice was gone and something a tad more human was in Rimmer's eyes – like he was genuinely moved – but then, they heard movement by the door, and the moment was broken by Ace coming back into the room.

"Sorry, chaps, but Kryten's taken a bit of a whack," he announced. "I need someone to rewire his circuits and bring him back online."

Kochanski rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'll see what can be done," she replied.

"Excellent! Come on, Arnie – time for a breath of fresh air! Smoke me a kipper! I'll be back for breakfast!"

Rimmer blinked in confusion at the odd line before following him to the airlock. He took one last uncertain glance at Kochanski, who flashed him a thumbs up. He gave a very shaky thumbs up in return before disappearing out the door.

Once inside the airlock, Rimmer looked across to his other self as he got ready to go outside. He buckled up his jacket and braced himself. "Look, before we go out there, there's something kind of important you need to know about me."

Ace looked up. "What would that be, Arnie?"

Rimmer took a deep breath. "I've never done anything even remotely like this," he said as steadily as he could. "I'm… sort of a coward. More yellow than a Day-Glo canary. The best I could manage in the Space Corps was Second Tech, and I spent most of my days repairing vending machines and drinks dispensers. So if at any point while I'm out there, I happen to not know how to do something or faint from sheer terror, sorry in advance."

There was a long silence between the two, but eventually, Ace managed a slight smile. "Nothing to be ashamed of, old chum," he said. "Just stick with me, and I'll show you the ropes. Engine repair is nothing – if I can do it, anyone can. And last time I checked – you're me."

Rimmer blinked in surprise. He'd half-expected some sort of derisive mockery, like he'd get from his brothers if he'd admitted something like that.

The airlock door slid open, and they found themselves being buffeted by the full force of the storm. Rimmer managed to force down a whimper and joined Ace in making their way across the ship's hull.

"What's your favorite music, Arn?"

"What?!"

"Keeps your spirits up!"

"… I'm really into James Last!"

"Oh, fantastic! Haven't enjoyed a song from good ol' James in months!"

Kochanski paced the inside of the ship for a long time. She'd gotten Kryten back online with some help from the Skutters, so now the mech was back to taking care of the Cat. The feline was in a daze, muttering about how lovely rubber trousers would look with bicycle clips. Needless to say, they were getting worried about him.

She kept glancing at the airlock door, waiting for the two Rimmers to come walking through, soaking wet and ready to take off, but it had been twenty minutes. She didn't know much about engines, but how much longer really could it take? What all did it entail? Hell, for all she knew, they hadn't even made it that far. They could've been swept away into the ocean within seconds of stepping outside.

She shook her head clear of those thoughts. Stop thinking like that. Focus on something else. Focus on how weird it is that there's a second Rimmer here. How odd that the same person could be so different because of one decision. How odd that it was actually possible to break the speed of reality and jump across dimensions. How odd… that if styled the right way, Rimmer was actually good-looking. Oh, she'd never thought of him as ugly per se, but she'd never in a million years…

She shook her head again. She wasn't good at thinking today. Too much weird.

Suddenly, the doors slid open, and in walked a pair of Rimmers. Both soaking wet, but one striding a little more confidently than the other.

"Oh, thank god!" cried Rimmer, absolutely relieved to still be alive.

Ace chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. "Not to worry, Arnie! You did great out there! Got the housing cleared! All those years working on vending machine circuits taught you how to work in cramped spaces!"

"This from the guy who somehow managed to repair a fuel line while hanging upside down!" replied Rimmer, still unable to believe it had happened. "How does someone even do that? In the pouring rain, no less!"

"Never could've done it without you hanging onto me!"

"Wasn't about to let you go! Our only hope of getting off this blasted rock! You know how hard it is to get a tow truck out here?"

Ace laughed heartily, and after a moment, Rimmer let out a shaky laugh as well. The relief of being inside out of the rain was overpowering his sarcasm.

"So… went well, did it?" Kochanski asked innocently.

"Kristine, you should've seen this man!" Ace said proudly. "Never gave up! Even when the waves were towering over us, he never lost sight of the target! Kept at it, even when it seemed all hope was lost! Could've used that kind of unwavering determination on the repair team back home!"

Rimmer shuffled awkwardly. "Well… you know…," he said bashfully. "Someone had to keep the chocolate dispenser working."

Kryten spoke up. "Sirs, I really think we should do something! The Cat may not last much longer!"

They all spotted the Cat, all four limbs sticking straight up in the air.

"Right then," said Ace, all business. "Let's get this old tea chest up in the air." He and Rimmer made their way up to the cockpit while Kryten and Kochanski prepared the Cat for transport.

Once they were back on Red Dwarf, Ace amazed them all once again by performing microsurgery on the Cat's leg. Within thirty minutes, the Cat's leg was saved, and he was looking for the most stylish dressings he could find for his wound. While Kryten was afterwards given an impromptu piano lesson, Rimmer retired to his quarters for a shower and change of clothes. He was just getting on his dressing gown and slippers when he heard a voice at the door.

"Nice place you got here, Arnie."

Rimmer looked up and saw Ace standing in the doorway. "Oh! Er… come in," he said awkwardly. "Taught Kryten any good songs?"

"He particularly enjoyed 'Chopsticks'."

Rimmer nodded, still not sure what to make of this. Looking at this other version of him – better-looking, heroic, selfless, successful – there was still a part of him that was envious. He could tell this was a man who had lived a good life and done good things. The kind of life he'd always wanted for himself, but never seemed to be able to achieve.

Ace, for his part, was looking around the room. In particular, he was looking at all the various paintings and drawings Rimmer had done over the past year and pinned to his walls. "Did you make all these?" he asked.

Rimmer suddenly felt even more self-conscious. "Oh, er… Yes, I did, actually."

Ace looked awestruck as he pored over them. "What's this one?" he asked, pointing at a watercolor Rimmer had done a few months ago.

"We were passing a supernova in the passing solar system. Knocked it out in the Observation Dome. I thought it swirled nicely."

"Absolutely amazing…"

"… Really?"

"Astounding, really! And there you were trying to convince me you had no talent! Arnie – these are sensational!"

Rimmer felt a little lightheaded now. Kochanski had always said they were good, but he'd really only seen his art as a hobby to distract himself from being the last man alive. Something to distract from the failure of his misplaced quest to become an officer. It was so odd to hear this guy – this man – speaking so glowingly of his work.

Ace was still gushing like a proud parent. "… And this one – the way you captured the rich textures of the planet's layers of atmosphere! The way they dance with the blue swirls of the star field… I've seen it in person many times, but I've never seen anyone capture it on canvas before…"

Rimmer shrugged, a little embarrassed by how proud he was feeling. It wasn't the sort of thing he'd been brought up to be proud of. "Well… I mean… yes, well, thank you…"

Ace shook his head as he came away from the wall. "You know, Arnie… I envy you."

Now Rimmer was really confused. "Envy me?"

"All that time in the Space Corps, working my way up the ranks, becoming a test pilot… Don't get me wrong. It's been a good life. But I rather regret I never followed some of my other passions. I've enjoyed working in tech and science, but… art. I wish I'd had more of a chance to try it."

Rimmer was in awe at his other self's words. "Amazing… I always wanted to be like you. An officer and a gentleman, admired by others, heroic, daring… and yet, here you are gushing over my pictures."

Ace smiled. "Well, if you ever want to swap lives, just give me a tinkle."

Rimmer held up his hands. "Nooooo, no, no, no," he said quickly. "Don't think I could do that every day… Still, you never know. Take up painting. See what happens."

"Maybe I will, Arn – after I leave…"

"Not staying, then?"

"Fraid not. This dimension doesn't need another Arnold Judas Rimmer. The one it has now is more than enough. I'll be off." He shook his other self's hand. "Smoke me a kipper. I'll be back for breakfast." He turned and walked out of the room.

Rimmer stared at the empty hatchway in amazement. Before he could check them, the words slid past his lips, "What a guy…"

How had all this transpired in less than twenty-four hours? He looked around the pictures on the walls with a growing sense of pride. Who would've thought – a Space Corps test pilot jealous of him? He sauntered off to get a glass of orange juice from the fridge. It had been a good day.

Kochanski stood out by the corridor to the landing gantry. She turned and smiled when Ace walked up, a knapsack slung over his shoulder.

"Your ship is all set," Kochanski reported.

"Thanks, Kris. It's definitely been a blast," he replied.

"How'd it go?"

Ace smiled warmly. "Seemed to be just the thing he needed to hear. Our old friend Arnie J is going to be just fine."

"Thank you. Didn't lay it on too thick, did you?"

"Didn't need to. The old boy's got some real talent. I might just take up the old canvas myself one day."

She shook her head. "It's amazing. One decision, and you're both such different people."

Ace was quiet for a moment – as if quietly debating whether he should say anything – before he finally spoke. "That decision? One of us was kept down in school a year, and one wasn't."

Kochanski was surprised. "That was it? He was kept down a year and you weren't?"

"No, I was the one who went down a year. But being kept down a year made me. The humiliation… Being the tallest boy in the class by a clear foot. It changed me, made me buckle down, made me fight back. And I've been fighting back ever since."

"And he spent the rest of his life making excuses…"

"Just goes to show that a leopard can change its spots. He's got you to thank for that, Kristine."

Kochanski blinked in confusion. "Me?"

"You've been what I think was missing from his life. A friend, a confidante, someone to be there for him. Almost like the younger sister we never had. Another thing I envy about him, actually."

Kochanski blushed. With the sister comparison, she was really regretting finding him attractive now. "How did you know?"

Ace smiled again. "The time you encouraged him to save the Drive Room. The time he showed you that you were with the wrong man. The time he sacrificed one of his soldiers for your teddy bear…"

Kochanski's eyes widened, and then she smirked knowingly. "Bloody eavesdropper, aren't you?"

"Apologies, but it was reassuring to know he was a good man deep down. I admit, I didn't know what to expect when I got here, and when he didn't leap into action, I was concerned… but I guess that goes to show while there's some of me inside of him, there's some of him inside of me," he said ruefully. "It was unreasonable of me to think he'd just be exactly like me, but you know… sometimes the differences can be just as good."

With that, he shifted his rucksack and made for the landing bay.

"Kristine – smoke me a kipper. I'll be back for breakfast."

She watched as he made his way down the corridor and around the corner.

What a guy.

Author's Notes: So I'll be honest - I'm not all that into Ace. Sure, he's a nice guy, and that's great, but let's be honest - if the show was about him, it'd be boring as hell. The concept he represents - about how one decision can change someone's life - is what makes him interesting.

But I actually enjoyed writing him in this. I wondered to myself, what would it have taken for Ace and Arnie to get along? Well, surviving the ocean moon together was a good bonding experience, but Rimmer had to be developed to the point that he'd be willing to do that in the first place. It really was with this story that I took note of how much he's changed since I started writing this story.

Next up: Meltdown

... still not sure how that one's gonna work...