Winter's Refuge
Chapter Fifty-One
JED 'KID' CURRY
I busied myself in the smithy until supper. There was so much to think about and I need the time alone to settle my emotions. Martha and Michael, my babies were named Martha and Michael! I couldn't wait to sweep them up in my arms and hug them tight. Chrissy was busy puttin' the curtains up in our room. Our room, that sounded so good.
"Jed go make horseshoes. Chrissy clean," she had ordered me.
And I needed to think about John McWinters. The quiet brother was a killer like the others. I would need to tell Frank what happened soon but not until I talked to Heyes. Don't think it will change his plan, but it might.
I had wanted time alone with Chrissy but realized that wouldn't happen until tonight. So, I made horseshoes and thought. If the boxes were already here, then Lom, his sister, and the twins must be followin' soon. I had met Miss Trevors only once in Lom's office. Me and Heyes had been on the road for two weeks doin' a job for a friend of Lom's. I'd lost the toss for the first bath, so I was the one to give Lom the envelope with his friend's answer.
Miss Trevors was there with Lom, but I didn't see her readin' in the corner when I looked in the front window and she jumped when she heard the back door open. I stood behind Lom, gun drawn, and seein' her said, "Sorry, Miss, I didn't see you there."
"That you, Kid?" asked Lom.
"Got somethin' for you. Didn't mean to scare the lady." I dropped the envelope on Lom's desk but kept the gun steady. You never know when a friend may decide ten thousand dollars is more valuable than your friendship.
"Sir, you stop aimin' that gun at Little Lom. Why are you sneakin' around like that?"
"Yes, ma'am." I holstered my gun. "Little Lom, we'd like our pay. The job is done." I smiled at the nickname I now had for him. The lady must be a relative. They didn't resemble each other much except for their eyes. She was significantly older than her brother.
Lom glared at me for usin' the nickname. "Lillian, this is Kid Curry. Kid, my sister, Lillian Trevors."
I remembered to take off my hat. "Pleased to meet you, ma'am. Sorry if I scared you."
Her smile was warm. "My brother has spoken of you and your partner as friends, Mr. Curry. I've never met an outlaw before; you don't look like what I thought."
I didn't know what to say.
She continued, not scared of me at all. "Well, you know Little Lom was an outlaw, too, before he reformed and became sheriff. He looks more like the outlaws in those dime novels than you do."
Lom had been gettin' our money out of his safe. I looked at him. "Little Lom?" I teased.
"Here's your money. I was named for my pa, Big Lom," he growled. "Now leave the way you came in and be out of town by noon tomorrow."
I moved toward the back door, puttin' the envelope in the inside pocket of my jacket. "Nice to meet you, ma'am," I said before slippin' out the door.
I wondered if she would remember me from that brief encounter. Did Lom tell her I was the twin's pa or just about her ma?
And I was anxious about tonight. Would Heyes get the message if me and Chrissy didn't sit up by the fire tonight? Dr. Arden had told Chrissy she could truly be my wife. He told me to take our lovemakin' slow and let Chrissy set the pace. Tonight I hoped for more, but would be happy to fall asleep holdin' her in my arms.
Leavin' the shop earlier than usual, I was surprised to see Heyes comin' down the road toward me. He was still singin' Simple Gifts in a whisper. He stopped when he saw me. Puttin' his arm over my shoulder, he made me change direction and head back to the shop.
"Partner, you ready for tonight?" He let his thoughts wander. "Thought about talkin' to you about the birds and the bees, but you already have kids so I think I can skip that."
Laughin', I said, "Heyes, what's goin' on?"
"After supper, I'm goin' to play poker with Juan and Ken in their room in the barn. Probably play all night and sleep in their room. You'll be alone, well, the two of you will be alone. Think that fits. It's your second wedding night. Did I leave you alone the first time you got married or did you leave for a honeymoon? Only right you have some privacy. Privacy's important for married couples. You be gentle with Chrissy. She's fragile. Do you…"
He saw my frown and clamped his hand over his mouth. "Sorry, not my business," he said in between lines of the song.
"Thanks for givin' us privacy. You know I'll never hurt her. A little nervous, partner. I ain't done this in over five years myself. Dreamed about it often enough."
He patted my back and stopped his singin'. "You're Kid Curry. Reputation with a gun and with women." He laughed and his dimples appeared. I realized he was gettin' better every day. Before I could answer, he said, "I got to make sure we're all locked up here. I'll be up for supper in a minute. Juan made fried chicken to celebrate your wedding."
ASJ*****ASJ
After a quick, awkward dinner on the new dishes Chrissy bought earlier that day, Heyes, Juan, and Ken cleaned their plates and loudly discussed their intention to play poker in the barn until dawn. I was embarrassed when Heyes winked at me as he left. I heard the door lock behind him.
Chrissy bustled about cleanin' the table and the kitchen. We didn't look at each other. I think we were both apprehensive, a word Heyes would be proud I can use, about tonight. I fight the urge to grab her in my arms and carry her upstairs. I don't want to scare or hurt her. I'm concerned about her seein' my back and the other burns and wounds on my body. I was recoverin' from two bullet wounds the last time we had laid together. She had been gentle with my injuries. Now my body is old, scared, ugly.
"I'm goin' upstairs, husband," Chrissy told me without lookin' at me.
My heart jumped. She said I, not Chrissy darlin', and called me husband. "Be up in a minute," I called after her as my nerves intensified. They remain strongly under control when I've faced the fastest of opponents, but goin' to join the love of my life on our weddin' night, I was intimidated. What if she froze at the sight of my convict's back or the touch of my blacksmith's hands. What if I hurt her? I looked up the stairs. Everythin' I desire is up there waitin' for me. I stood straight, put my shoulders back, and climbed the stairs.
I found Chrissy sittin' on the side of the bed in her long flannel nightgown, waitin' for me. I don't know what I expected, but I was disappointed. But then took some joy in the thought of Chrissy fallin' asleep in my arms. I again resolved to let her set the pace. This is just the first night of our whole lives together.
She looked at me and smiled. "Which side?" she asked, pointin' at the bed and I realized she was askin' which side of the bed I wanted.
"Doesn't matter, darlin'." I smiled and sat next to her. "As long as I'm sharin' the bed with you."
She stood. 'Want to be wife to you tonight…but in dark," she said shyly.
"Whatever you want. I know my back is…unpleasant to see…and probably to feel," I apologized. I wasn't hurt at all. I understood. At least she had found a way to deal with it.
Chrissy had walked to the lamp on the dresser but froze at my words. Slowly her face showed what…regret…shame? "It's okay, darlin', I understand," I told her.
She started to cry and turned away from me. She turned down the lamp to its lowest settin' before sayin' anythin'.
"Dark not for Chrissy to not see Jed's back. It's so Jed no see Chrissy's back." Even in the low light I saw her eyes well up and tears flow freely before she turned away and extinguished the light. And I remembered glimpses of her back when we rescued her. She' felt lashes in prison….and sexual abuse.
I found her in the dark and took her in my arms. "Oh darlin', I'm sorry. I was only thinkin' of me." She buried herself in my chest. "I love you so much, Chrissy, and have since the day we met."
I felt her hand caress my cheek. "I love you, too."
I picked her up, but put her down quickly. It was truly dark, and I wasn't sure where the bed was. "Ahh..."
Chrissy's giggle broke into my thoughts. I sensed she moved away from me, then the lamp came on, and she turned it down low. "Okay with lowest light?" she asked.
"Anythin' you say," I said, sweepin' her into my arms, kissin' her firmly, and depositin' her on the bed.
"Good!" she said. "No look."
I turned but saw her start to pull her nightgown over her head out of the corner of my eyes. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my boots and socks off. I felt her slip under the quilt and try to pull it up but I was sitting on it, holding it in place. I stood up to finish undressin' and could just make out the quilt goin' up to her chin.
"You hurry. Chrissy darlin' cold with no clothes."
I worried for a second that she used her name but decided the only thing important was waitin' for me under that quilt. Naked, heart beatin' fast with desire, I joined her under the quilt.
ASJ*****ASJ
I woke up huggin' Chrissy in my arms, smiled and kissed the top of her head. The sun was up higher than it should be. Chrissy stirred and reached her arms around my neck and returned the kiss passionately, then broke it off.
"Work to do. Turn around," she said, holdin' the quilt to her neck.
I sat up on my side of the bed knowin' she had full view of my back. She'd seen it many times, rubbed salve into it more nights than not. Still, I was ashamed of it now. It showed the wrong choices I'd made in life.
Feelin' her rub some salve into the scars now brought somethin' to mind. I turned around and hugged her. "Thank you," I whispered. "If you want, I'll rub some on your back, too."
"No! You no see." she said.
HEYES
This is one time I'm not going to wait for Chrissy to do her chores. I'm hoping the Kid and her sleep til noon. I milked her cow. Today I recited poetry to her, and she remained calm when my cold hands started to milk her. After I put the milk in the kitchen, I gathered the eggs. I concentrated on putting each egg carefully into the basket. I didn't let my thoughts wander. When I finished, I was relieved there was not a single broken egg on the floor.
Last night, the Kid spoke to me and Juan quickly. I gave him back the box for the ring, telling him I wasn't sure what to do with it.
"Anything you did with it would have been fine, partner."
I like when he calls me partner. He told me and Juan that Mark had let Paul go and he was back at Winter's Refuge. I saw some anxiety go out of Juan's body. He didn't tell me how he knew, and he gave me 'that' look so I didn't dare ask. He can keep his secrets, just tell me what I need to know.
I made breakfast and set some aside for the Kid and Chrissy when they got up. Joe was used to sleeping with Chrissy and he was upset when I fed him and kept him in the barn last night. He takes his job to protect Chrissy seriously. He was confused yesterday when the beds were moved. He kept going into Chrissy's room and crying for her. But last night he curled up with Not Joe in Summer Solstice's stall. I put an extra blanket in the corner.
This morning Joe is back in Chrissy's old room. It's empty, but he was sleeping in the center of the room looking forlorn when I checked.
LOM
Mrs. Clark had everything packed in the wagon early. I wasn't sure if the twins were excited or scared about moving in with their parents. I knew that they would be met with love. Lily seemed weaker than yesterday. Mrs. Clark gave me Lily's medicines and a letter from her doctor to Doctor Sexton in Three Birds. And she gave me the address of her son.
"Please let me know how she is doing," she said sadly. "She's the best friend I've ever had."
She handed Martha a worn rag doll with embroidered features and Mike an under stuffed dog made from the same fabric as the dress on the doll. I recognized that fabric as some I had brought Chrissy in prison to make baby clothes. Both the doll and the dog looked like they were well loved. The children took them eagerly and held them close.
"Couldn't let you forget Molly and Doggie," Mrs. Clark said, with tears in her voice. "Be oh so good for Aunt Lily and Uncle Lom, promise me."
They hugged her tight. "We promise," Mike told her.
Exhausted from the preparations, Lily asked to lay in the back of the wagon instead of sitting with me. Martha rode next to her, still clinging to Molly. Without asking permission, Michael climbed up and sat on the driver's seat with me, the stuffed dog between us. He was still hesitant around me. Mrs. Clark reminded me neither of them had been away from their home since before they could remember.
The gentle rocking of the wagon lulled my sister to sleep. Martha stayed on her knees looking over the side every time I looked back at her. Mrs. Clark had booked a sleeping compartment on the train. I admired her competence. She had broken into tears hugging 'her babies' as she said goodbye. She'd asked me last night if she could come visit. I assured her she'd be welcome anytime and told her to write to Lillian care of the Three Birds post office.
At the train depot, I wondered how parents traveled with kids. After the wagon ride, Michael and Martha tried to run in different directions while I helped Lily.
"Martha, Mike, stop running and stand right here until I tell you you can move!" I demanded in a loud voice. They looked at me in fear, eyes wide, but they stopped and stood next to Lily. She reached out and touched my arm.
"Lom, they are not used to men, much less a deep voice yelling at them. Have patience. This is all new and exciting for them." I felt chastened remembering how she had scolded my younger self.
Turning to them, she got a stern yet loving look on her face. "I know the train station is thrilling but I need you to stay close and help Uncle Lom take care of me."
They nodded in unison. I could see them both struggling not to cry at my demanding speech. Martha's eyes were the green of her mother's and Michael's blue like the Kid's must have been as a child.
"I'm sorry, I…" I apologized. I could never stand a woman crying. The tears of two innocent kids made me feel even worse.
"Looks like that's our train," Lily said as she reached out to me to help her stand from the bench where I had her wait. "Martha, take my pocketbook and touch Uncle Lom's leg as we walk. Where's Molly?"
Martha looked in her arms in horror. "Oh!"
I looked around quickly and saw the doll on the ground in back of a bench Martha had been climbing on. "Here she is," I said, picking the doll up and presenting her to Martha with a bow
She took it without looking at me. "Yes, Aunt Lily." She hugged the doll and picked up Lily's pocketbook.
"Michael, take the small bag from Uncle Lom and carry it for him. Hold onto my skirt so you don't get lost." Lily knew just what to say to them.
"Yes, ma'am. I can help you walk instead of him," Michael answered, and I realized maybe he thought I was taking his place with her.
Lily's voice became more stern. "Michael, do as I say."
"Yes, ma'am," Mike said contritely.
ASJ*****ASJ
The train ride to Bridgeport was difficult for Lily. As soon as she was settled in the lower bed in our compartment, she asked me to read the twins a story and handed me Cinderella. There were two chairs across from the bed. I sat in one and the kids in the other, even though I invited them to sit on my lap. The book was well worn, and both were asleep before I had read ten pages. I sighed and closed the book, marking my place with a small piece of paper.
"They'll warm up to you, Lom," Lily said in a weak voice. "This is all so new to them."
"Guess I didn't get off to a good start yelling like that," I said guilty. They looked like two angels, asleep, leaning against each other.
Lily knew what I was thinking. "The only time those two are angels is when they are asleep. They are growing up. They want to explore the world. They were getting too much for two old ladies to handle sometimes. But they are loving, always loving." Her voice grew fainter, and she was asleep again.
Martha was the first to wake and I asked her to come to the dining car so we could get some food and bring it back.
When her brother opened his eyes, she simply told him we were going to get food and he was to take care of Aunt Lily. I was surprised when we left our room, she slipped her hand in mine. "So you don't get lost," she told me.
JED 'KID' CURRY
When we walked downstairs, we found Joe standin' in the doorway of Chrissy's room, lookin' abandoned. He barked as if to say, 'where were you?'. Chrissy petted him and talked to him softly as he followed her into the kitchen.
"Huh, Heyes milk cow and gather eggs." Chrissy sounded indignant.
"Wasn't that nice of him to let us sleep late?" I reminded her.
She laughed. "Heyes knows we no sleeping."
I grinned at her joke and put my arms around her from behind. She froze. I let go.
"Jed no scare Chrissy darlin' like that, please."
"I'm sorry," I said, suddenly thinkin' about her time in prison.
"Not now. Maybe later hug me from behind and no be scared." She turned around and put her arms around my neck and we kissed.
I heard a cough from the doorway. "ABCDE…You have a bedroom for that," Heyes said, grinnin' widely. "Your breakfast is staying warm on the stove and there's a line at your shop…ZYXWVU."
I know I blushed. That drew a laugh from my cousin. "Dogs are fed. Joe didn't like the barn last night," he said quickly and left out the back kitchen door he had entered.
ASJ*****ASJ
Heyes was right. There was a long line at my blacksmith shop. I apologized for bein' late and started openin' the sides. I was surprised that Heyes was helpin' me. He just nodded and smiled when the sides were up and retreated to the back room. I stoked the forge while Chrissy went to the first man in line with a horse. I didn't recognize him, so I watched closely.
"Shoes?" Chrissy asked.
'Yes, ma'am. Think she needs the right front one replaced. What are you doin' there?" he asked, as Chrissy started liftin' the leg in question to look at the shoe.
"Yes, shoe," she said, and moved to the next leg.
"I said just the one." The man put his hand on her arm, and I walked over ready to take over.
But Chrissy just shook him off. "Don't touch me," she said very slowly but got the words right. "I check all."
I stood on the other side of the horse.
The man looked at me embarrassed. "Can't afford but one right now. That one looked the worst to me." His voice was quiet so those in line couldn't hear.
"You chop wood?" I asked.
"Got a strong back and willin' to do honest work for honest pay."
"There's a lot of wood needs choppin' in back of our house. You chop the wood and I'll…"
"Four shoes," Chrissy said.
"I'll give your mare four new shoes. Deal?"
'Thank you, sir. My name's Harold Collins." He held out his hand.
"Jed Curry," I said as I shook it. I waited for the spark of recognition. It came but I didn't see any ill will.
"Heyes, this man's goin' chop some wood for the house. Would you show him where it is and let Ken know it's alright for him to be there?"
Heyes looked out from the backroom and I saw a quick hint of fear then it disappeared. He held his bandana to his mouth. "Follow me."
Chrissy came over and rubbed my arm. "Jed Curry, good man,' she whispered.
LOM
Lily was stronger after restin' and the twins played in our compartment. Playin' was a kind word for it. They climbed everywhere and made a game out of jumpin' off the top bed into my arms, pretendin' they could fly. They had endless energy. Soon Lily rescued me.
"Get the black bag Mrs. Clark packed for you. It has some books and paper for you to draw, if you wish."
"We want to keep flyin'!" Martha yelled.
Quietly, Lily added, "What did I tell you?"
Both of them looked contrite. Michael found the bag and they sat on the floor at our feet playin' quietly. After a while Martha looked up at me. "Uncle Lom, are you our pa?"
"No, little one, I'm not, but he's goin' to meet us in Bridgeport. We'll spend the night in a hotel there so Aunt Lily can rest, and your pa will bring a wagon for us in the morning."
JED 'KID' CURRY
Lom said to get to Bridgeport about noon, but I'm so excited to meet my children and hold them in my arms that I left early. I'm excited but worried. I want them to have a beautiful, happy childhood. But I'm afraid they will start at a disadvantage. They're the children of Kid Curry, one of the leaders of the Devil's Hole gang and the fastest gun in the west…and an ex-convict. They start out as second-class citizens. That's the legacy I'm givin' them.
I got to the hotel two hours early and took the wagon and horses to the livery. I saw them in the diner as I walked back. I dropped back into the shadows and studied them unseen. They were beautiful. Martha and Michael, my children, my family.
They were beautiful, but I could see they were spirited like their mother. Michael was standin' on the chair instead of sittin', intent on catchin' sunbeams instead of eatin'. Lom was steadyin' him every minute or two while pointin' at the chair. The boy was so intent he ignored him. The girl sat quietly feedin' the doll on her lap, but not eatin' herself.
Lillian Trevors sat between them. She had aged since I'd seen her and looked fragile, her skin almost translucent. She ate little of her food. And Lom was tryin' to cope with them all. Smilin', I walked into the diner to help him.
"Kid!" Lom greeted me with relief in his voice. The twins turned to me and stared.
Takin' off my hat, I said, "Hello, Miss Trevors, I don't know if you remember me. I'm Jed Curry."
"Of course, I remember you. It's not everyday one meets an o…ahh." She looked at the twins and said, "A friend of my brother's."
"Ma'am."
She continued with a smile. "Martha, Michael, this is your pa, Jed Curry."
Michael got off the chair and stood behind Lily. Martha tried to make herself smaller in her chair. This is not the meetin' I'd envisioned with two kids runnin' into my arms. But it was the welcome I deserved.
"My name is Michael Curry," he said softly. "You're our pa? You're big!"
"Why don't we finish up here and go to our room," Lily said. I think she sensed my discomfort.
Miss Trevors' words broke into my thoughts. "Lom, I don't think I can manage the stairs, would you help me." Her voice was weak.
I smiled at her, "Ma'am, it would be my pleasure to carry you up the stairs."
Lily blushed. As I walked over to her, Michael blocked my path. "I help Aunt Lily," he informed me. He looked so serious that I tried to hide my smile.
"Michael, you are a big help to me but right now I'm going to let Mr. Curry carry me up the stairs."
"It's Jed, ma'am, or Kid like your brother calls me." I picked her up. She was light and her bones felt fragile in my arms.
"And it's Lily. I am after all coming to live in your house. Michael, can you show us the way?"
He stopped poutin' now that he had a job to do and headed up the stairs ahead of me.
Everyone was quiet until I set Miss Trevors into the chair in her room.
In the room, it was no better. While Lily and Lom packed up all their things, I tried to talk to the twins.
"What do you two like to play?" I asked.
All I got was a blank stare. "Do you like to play tag or go fishin'?"
Martha screwed up her nose. "No" she said firmly, but in a quiet voice.
"Martha," said Lily, givin' her a stern look. Martha hugged her doll tighter.
"Sorry, sir," she said. I felt sorry for her.
"That's alright, little darlin'." I smiled at her. She was as beautiful as her ma with eyes a lighter green that in their innocence seemed to reach inside me.
I could see that Martha had been thinkin' hard about somethin'. "Why does Uncle Lom call you Kid? You're a grownup." Martha seemed close to outrage.
I saw Lom studyin' me. You don't always see your friends as they are, but how you remember them. Now he probably really saw me. I lost my baby face in prison, hardly a kid. I probably look older than my years. He was waitin' to see how I answered. I promised myself I wouldn't lie about my life to my kids. This was an easy question.
"When I was your age, my brothers and my cousin were all older than me and started callin' me the Kid. Your Uncle Lom knows my cousin and picked up the nickname."
Martha was quiet for a moment and her expression looked so much like Chrissy's I wanted to hug her close to me. "Can we call you Kid?" she asked. The hint of a teasin' sparkle in her eye caught me off guard. She still stood away from me, and there was also a hint of fear in those eyes when she dared look at me.
I knelt on one knee in front of her. "No, I think you should call me pa or papa. You and Michael are the only two people in the whole world that can call me that, you know." I'd decided to wait to hold her until she wasn't afraid of me.
Lily changed that. "Martha, hug your pa and pack up the toys you got out last night. He's goin' to take us to our new home."
ASJ*****ASJ
When I left the wagon and Spring's Joy at the livery, I dropped some coins in the lad's hand that took my rig.
"Make sure all those blankets are still in the back of the wagon when I come back," I said, realizin' it came out as a growl.
"Yes, sir. No stealin' in this livery, sir. We run an honest place. You can be sure of that."
When I returned to the livery to get Spring's Joy and the wagon, it was waitin' for me. The blankets in the back were all folded neatly, and it looked like the bed had been swept out. On the seat was a fresh, new quilt.
Instead of the boy, a man approached me. "All ready for you, sir," he said, with a sly grin.
I knew he was someone I should know. Then, the pieces fell into place: his walk, his voice, his hair just startin' to grow after a prison haircut, and his kind manner with the horses. It was the trustee who took my horse every time I visited Heyes and helped me mount my horse with dignity when I was released after the whippin' I had received left me close to dyin'.
"Glad to see you. When did you get out, sir?" I smiled. I had always shown him the respect to call him sir. Convicts are considered the lowest form of life, but we're people. I held out my hand to him.
"Wasn't sure you'd remember me, sir."
"Jed, not sir. How could I forget your help when I needed it the most?"
He looked embarrassed so I kept talkin'. "Thanks for cleanin' my wagon. That's a beautiful quilt in the driver's seat." I commented. "Sorry I don't know your name."
"Tim Cullen. Those blankets you let the prisoners have made winter easier for a lot of us, probably still are being used. My wife sewed that quilt. Take it as my way of sayin' thanks…for the blankets and treatin' me as a human bein'."
"Feel I need to thank you," I told you. "But you're welcome.
We talked about how people look at us when we first get out and our heads are shaved. It yells ex-convict to everyone. My hair was still spiky and tryin' to curl. That was embarrassin' seein' my neighbors after that night in jail bein' bald. I tended to wear my hat or tie a bandana around my head all the time. He felt the same. His family owned the livery and I remembered how the boy who took my horse emphasized it was an honest place.
"Thanks for everythin', Tim." I shook his hand firmly. "Glad to know you."
He smiled broadly. "Proud to know you, Mr. Curry…er, Jed."
I admired the quilt. "I have a lovely lady to transport home, and this will make her ride more comfortable."