This show is owned by Ryan Murphy. Also to apologize for the delay I decided to add two episodes this week. And to the people who didn't like the lack of showing character development in Bree, I'll be honest I don't exactly have a good amount of time when it comes to her and I'll be honest I think I'll be doing some rewriting later on and taking a few more episodes. Also I really liked having her involved in Rhythm Nation so I just decided to make her feel guilty about what happened between Marley and Jake. I've never done this before, at least not with Glee. My last story was about legends and I'll be honest legends isn't exactly a story meant for Fan fiction sometimes. I've never seen anyone get past season 4. Also that story isn't cancelled. It's just on hiatus so I can focus on this for the remainder of the season. Trust me I can figure this all out. Please Enjoy. :)
To start the week, we find Artie rolling into the auditorium stage from the back with a boxed lunch, meeting up with Tina, who also brought a boxed lunch as she walks down the stairs.
Artie looks at her with a prideful smile. "I'm really proud of us."
Tina chuckles "Why's that?"
"'Cause even after you and I broke up, we were able to stay friends and continue our tradition of Tuesday lunch together."
"It's also a good way to avoid the cafeteria on Taco Tuesdays when they use Grade "D" prison meat that can legally contain up to 5% insect larvae."
Artie drops his boxed lunch at the box they use as a makeshift table. He also removes his gloves. "Still. I'm gonna miss this next year when you're at Brown and I'm at film school in Brooklyn."
Tina looks down as she sets her lunch down on the stage. "I got wait-listed at Brown."
Artie waves it off. "Oh, you'll get in."
"You know how many students make it off the wait list? Two percent. The only other schools I applied to were Ohio State and that dumb vet school." She can't help but be ashamed. "I really wanted to get out of this place, you know? Expand my horizons. I don't think that's in the cards for me now."
Artie decides to try to cheer her up. "Well, listen. We have, what, four more Tuesdays at McKinley? Let's make them count. From now until graduation, Tuesday lunch is about music that'll cheer you up because the only thing you'll be doing next year is knitting scarves for those chilly Ivy League winters."
Tina starts to smile. "That's a really flimsy segue, Artie." Artie smiles back and rolls back in the stage and starts singing.
Artie:
Whenever I call you "Friend"
I begin to think I understand
Anywhere we are
You and I have always been
Forever and ever
Artie and Tina:
I see myself within your eyes
And that's all I need to show me why
Everything I do
Always takes me home to you
{Tina grabs the back of his wheelchair and wheels him to the choir room. On the way the glee club offers them high-fives, which they accept with joy.}
New Directions:
Forever and ever
Artie:
Now I know my life has given me more than memories
Day by day, we can see
Tina:
In every moment there's a reason to carry on
{The Glee kids enter the room drop their bags and dance to the song.}
Artie and Tina:
Sweet love's showin' us a heavenly light
I've never seen such a beautiful sight
See love glowing on us every night
I know forever we'll be doing it
Sweet love's showin' us a heavenly light
(Artie: I've never seen such a beautiful sight)
See love glowing on us every night
I know forever we'll be doing it, doing it
Tina with New Directions:
Sweet love, (New Directions: Sweet love)
Sweet love, yeah (Artie: You're the glowin' light in my life)
Sweet love (Tina: Ooh! Everything I do brings me back to you)
Sweet love, yeah (Artie: Whenever I call you friend!)
Tina with New Directions:
Sweet love (Artie: Whenever I call)
Sweet love (Artie: You're my friend) (Tina: Yeah)
After the song is completed and the Tina-Artie duo embrace, they hear a voice of a hater. "Ugh! Close the door when you sing crap like that." The club turn to see Becky walking into the room.
Jake decides to start the conversation. "Hey, Becky, can we help you with something?" He asks in an attempt to be polite.
"Yeah, quit staring at my boobs." He is taken aback by that phrase. "Tina, Artie... Principal Sylvester wants to see you in her office." The two that were called looked to each other with worried eyes. What does Sue want from them?
Sue Sylvester sits down between the dynamic duo.
She turns to both of them to call them both by her favorite nicknames. "Stumbles. Tina Warrior Princess. Graduation is fast approaching and it is time to award the title of Senior class valedictorian. Now, as you are, respectively, a loner Asian who has trouble making friends and a nasal, Muppety disabled kid in a wheelchair, it should come as no surprise to you both that you're at the head of your class." They both smile at this with pride. "In fact... you're tied for number one."
Tina turns to Sue with furrowed eyebrows. "Tied?"
"How is that possible?" Artie asks.
"Identical GPAs, extracurriculars, and you both have perfect attendance this year. Now, unlike some members of the Glee Club who come and go for months at a time with no explanation, you two losers are always in that choir room. Excluding that one time in Spanish Week where Tina didn't show up. Even if, for an entire week, the only thing you have to do is say something inconsequential, like, "Kitty's right," or "Blaine, are you serious?""
"Wait, we can't both be valedictorian." Tina said.
Sue smirks at her. "Not in my world. And that is why we're going to settle this with a friendly little competition. As you know, the valedictorian gives the speech at graduation. At the end of this week, you will both deliver your speeches to a blue ribbon panel of idiots of my choosing. Whoever wins... will be crowned valedictorian. That sound fair?"
"No, actually, it doesn't." Artie answers.
"Life isn't fair, Abrams." Becky insults.
"Good, then it's settled. Oh, and, uh, let this stand as a warning to you both. If during one of your speeches, you decide to abandon your prepared text in favor of a musical number, because the emotions you're feeling are just so complex they can only be expressed in song, I promise you I will dedicate my life to making sure that every beverage you drink, until the day you die, will have a just a..." She does a hand gesture of a small amount of something. " tiny, little bit of my pee in it."
Our favorite Cheerios, Bree and Kitty were called to Coach Roz Washington's office for an important meeting. They didn't know what it was but the fact that the two of them in particular being called felt peculiar. While walking to the office Kitty catches up to Bree who was ahead of her. "Hey."
Bree turns to see her. "Oh, hey Kitty." She said.
"So, what do you think Coach Washington's calling us for?"
"No idea." They pause for a moment on the way to the office, before Bree stops in her tracks and turns to Kitty. "Hey, since I'm working on being less of a..."
"A Stone Cold Bitch.?" Kitty said without holding back at all.
Bree chuckles at what she said. "Yeah exactly. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry for putting all that pressure on you when you first started dating Joe. And for taking your position as captain of the Cheerios. I mean, I won't apologize for doing a bang-up job running it but, it wasn't really big of me to mess with your love life."
Kitty is taken aback from this."Hmm, surprise twist. Where is this coming from? A month ago you tried to break Marley and Jake up. Not that I haven't tried that myself, but..."
"After I basically poured my feelings out to Jake, it kinda made me feel bad. I honestly don't want to be like that anymore. I guess I was just trying to hold on to whatever I could get. So after Marley let me apologize, I've been trying to be a better person."
"Well, I'm totally open to helping you with that." Kitty said with a smile.
"Thanks." Bree said as they enter Roz Washington's office.
"Hello girls. Have a seat." Roz said and they both obeyed. She stands up to make a statement. "The day after prom, I found out that Bree was responsible for slushing Tina-Cohen-Chang. So I took her to Principle Sylvester's office to deliver punishment for the admittedly hilarious prank. But instead, Sue gave her the title as captain of the Cheerios so she could challenge the Glee club. Now that Ms. Westbrook has joined the Glee club, I don't think that reason stands anymore."
Kitty's eyes widen. "So you're giving me my job back?" She said hopefully.
"I would but it turns out that Bree has done an impressive job leading the cheerios this past month. She even came up with a whole routine that celebrates Lady freaking Gaga. Now I do admit that her admission as Head Cheerleader was unfair, but the results speak for themselves. So I decided that there are two ways to settle this. 1) You both agree on who leads the Cheerios, or... you each command your own group, and perform against each other. Winner gets to be the captain. What do you choose?"
Kitty and Bree chuckle for a moment. "Coach, I don't think going against each other is necessary. We both know who deserves this." Kitty says.
Roz raises her eyebrow. "And who is that?"
"Me." Both Cheerios say at the same time. They then stare at each other with surprise. "Excuse me?" They also say together.
"Why you?" Bree asked.
"Because I was captain first, and I was doing fine before you showed up, and when all Womanhunter on me."
"But like the Coach said, I had results. Clearly the Cheerios have been doing quite well without you otherwise this meeting wouldn't even happen in the first place."
"Oh you wish that you could run the Cheerios like I can. I can dance circles around you!"
Bree smirks at her. "I'd like to see you try."
"Is that a challenge?"
"Oh you know it is." Bree turns to the amused Coach Roz. "Coach, we'll take option two."
"Alright, you will be selecting teammates tomorrow, and working on your own routine. You have to have something ready Friday. Afterwards I will run a thorough examination on both routines, to decide on a winner. You are both dismissed." After that Bree and Kitty walked out the door with glares on their faces.
"You're going down Wilde."
"Bring it Westbrook."
As Artie rolls through the halls he sees Tina at the end of it holding a piece of paper in her right hand. "No need to write a speech. I wrote it for you." She said referring to his speech for the valedictorian role. He knows that she wants this just as much as he does, so if she's going to him to help out, knowing her, it's not gonna be good.
Artie takes the paper. "In the hallowed halls of McKinley High, one name rises to the top: Tina Cohen-Chang." He pauses to look at her with an eyebrow raised. "There is no other choice for valedictorian. I humbly drop out." He places the paper back into her crossed arms with a squinted stare. "No me gusta." He rolls away, but Tina follows him from behind. "Artie, I need valedictorian in order to guarantee my acceptance to Brown. If I don't get in, I'm screwed. Please take the fall for me."
"No. It's not my fault you didn't apply to enough schools."
This touches a nerve in Tina. "Maybe I was too busy making costumes and building sets and swaying in the background while everybody else was front and center! You always get everything you want, and I get nothing!"
"Woman, are you insane? You had a solo at Sectionals, and just won Prom Queen."
Tina rolls her eyes. "Which counts against me. My song at Sectionals was Gangnam style. They probably think I'm just another asian trying to be Psy! Plus, I read online that college admission directors think that high school Prom Queens are self-centered attention whores."
"Exactly." Artie said without heart.
"Excuse me?" She said offended, and Artie turns to face her.
"It's time you heard this. The whole school's been talking about it. Everyone's convinced that sometime between junior and senior year, an alien invaded your body and made you shallow and desperate." He said as he rolls backwards before turning around again.
"Says the nerd who dated Sugar Motta!" She said with a glare.
"Says the hag who vapo-raped Blaine."
"That was blown totally out of proportion, and, yeah, I had a little crush on a guy who could never love me, but is that any different than you having a crush on a girl who couldn't possibly have loved you?"
This strikes a nerve in Artie. He turns again to face her. "Sugar did love me."
"Please. She was just dating you because she saw you as a charity case. We all know about how she immediately left you for Rory. Twice! And you probably used her too because you probably saw that relationship as a chance for McKinley fame. That's what your speech can be about, how you're making a sad, last-ditch effort to be popular by dating one of McKinley's biggest bitches."
Artie rolls closer to her to intensify the glare he's giving. "First of all, just because she challenged you last week, doesn't mean you have the right to call her a bitch. Secondly, Tina, you're McKinley's biggest bitch. And I'm gonna win this." He rolls away from the unrepentant Tina.
Voice Over:
You know, despite what I've had to endure here in McKinley, I've actually had a pretty good year. I've got friends who see me more than just a popularity prize, unlike Vocal Adrenaline. Plus I even have a boyfriend in Ryder now. Not to mention now I have a guaranteed spot as a soloist at nationals, everything is coming up Unique. She stops her walk across the halls when she sees Marley and Jake talking at the lockers. She also sees them end their conversation with a hand to hand stroll to the choir room with Marley kissing Jake's cheek. Unique however feels skeptical. One problem this year is that man-whore getting his hands on Marley. Yes, I know that he stayed faithful in Katy and Gaga week, but like my aunt says 'a tiger never changes his stripes.' It's time I've taken a closer look at Mr. Puckerman. She intercepts the couple to talk to them. "Hey Jake, can I talk to you?" Not even waiting for a response she grabs his arm and drags him to the other side of the choir room, beyond Marley's ear shot. "So I was thinking, I know you've been working a lot on choreographing our numbers for Nationals, but I was hoping you could help me out with my dancing?"
Jake looks skeptical. "But aren't you one of the better dancers in Glee club?"
"Maybe so, but clearly not as talented as your ballet skills."
Jake smirks but tries to stay humble. "I'm not that great."
"Not that great? You my friend are amazing. I've seen Brittany and Mike Chang dancing, and you can keep up with them easy, maybe even overcome them. So.. what do you say?"
Jake thinks about it for a moment before deciding. "Yeah, sure. Maybe tomorrow after Glee club I could help you out."
"Enchanté. See you then!" She said as she walks to sit down just when the rest of the club gets to the choir room. Jake sprints to sit next to Marley, but is blocked when Unique takes the seat, so he takes the other.
Will gets the meeting started. "Okay, guys, it's coming down to the wire. We have a very important decision to make."
Unique agrees. "Yes, my wig is either gonna be Anna Wintour chic or Pam Grier fabulousness." She snaps her fingers with energy but mellows down in a second. "I'm not ready to make the decision." Ryder offers her a shoulder pat.
Will stares with confusion. "Okay. I know we just got our setlist ready, but I wanted to have a few in reserve for an emergency. So... who is gonna step up and take center stage?"
Tina smirks. "I'd like to nominate myself."
Artie rolls his eyes at her. "Shocker."
Tina smirks at him. "And you think you're gonna carry us to victory?"
"Actually, Mr. Shue, I think I'd like to compete with Tina for that second spot."
Will smiles at their determination. "Well, I think we should have a sing-off, right here, right now." He looks at the New Directions. "A little help, guys?
New Directions:
Ooh, bop!
{Tina and Artie glare at each other and stroll in circles to intimidate each other.}
Tina with New Directions (Artie):
No, you're never gonna get it (Ow!)
Never ever gonna get it (No, not this time)
No, you're never gonna get it (My lovin', mmm!)
Never ever gonna get it
New Directions:
Ooh, bop!
Artie (New Directions):
I remember how it used to be
You never was this nice, you can't fool me (Ooh, bop!)
Now you're talkin' like you made a change
The more you talk the more things sound the same (Aaah)
Tina (New Directions):
What makes you think you can just walk back into her life (Ooh woah)
Without a good fight, oh? (Aaah)
I just sit back and watch you make a fool of yourself (Ooh woah)
'Cause you're just wasting your time, oh!
Tina with New Directions (Artie):
No, you're never gonna get it (Not this time)
Never ever gonna get it (My lovin')
No, you're never gonna get it (Had your chance to make a change)
Never ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it (Not this time)
Never ever gonna get it (My lovin')
No, you're never gonna get it (Had your chance to make a change)
Never ever gonna get it
Tina (New Directions):
It doesn't matter what you do or what you say (Ooh woah)
She doesn't love you, no way (Aaah)
{Tina stops to sit next to Sugar and puts her arm around her shoulder before standing up.}
Maybe next time you'll give your woman a little respect (Ooh woah)
So you won't be hearing her say, "No way!"
Will:
And now it's time for a breakdown
{Everyone stands up and starts to dance while Tina and Artie square off.}
Artie and Tina with New Directions:
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it
Tina rolls Artie backwards, but goes to fast, causing him to slip and fall off his chair shocking everyone around them. Sam, Will and Ryder go to pick him up.
"Artie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." She apologizes to her friend who rolls away with an upset look on his face.
"It's fine. I'm fine." He rolls away leaving Tina to his shame. Sugar looks at her with disappointment, before walking outside to comfort him, with Rory following her.
In the Cheerios locker room, Kitty speaks with an intimidating face that all the Cheerios know and fear. "Alright girls, let's cut to the chase. There's a chance that I am getting my job back as head Cheerleader. And if I'm going to get it, I'm going to need you to work like you've never worked before!
Out in the field, Bree is sending the same message to her Cheerios. "Kitty cannot lead you, you hear me?! She has always been a terrible person and an even worse leader. She is short, she is a bitch, and think about all that I've done when I took charge! I'm more of a leader than she's ever been."
Back in the Locker room. "I'm a better leader than she ever will be! Who did Coach Washington so wisely give the job to in the first place? Oh yeah, ME! She got the job because Sue wanted to mess with the Glee club! Can she even dance like I can?"
Back in the field. "She may have been trying to be Quinn Fabray, but you can clearly see she's gone soft. She went from the top dog in the McKinley hierarchy, to a Glee girl, who spends more time making out with her christian boyfriend than she does learning a routine! Let's face it..."
The Screen cuts into two halves and you can see both Kitty and Bree when they say: "The reign of Kitty/Bree ends today!" They blow whistles and music starts playing and the cheerios begin their routines, but their outfits are replaced with black gym outfits. They start practicing harder than you've ever seen them practice before, with a whole workout set-up in two opposite sides of the gym.
Bree:
Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance
Now I'm back on my feet
Just a girl and her will to survive
Kitty:
So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
{All the Cheerios are back in the field jumping on jump-ropes in their normal uniforms with both groups facing each other with ferocity.}
Bree with Cheerios:
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
Kitty with Cheerios:
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
Bree and Kitty with Cheerios:
And he's watching us all with the
Eye of the tiger
{They're back in the gym doing backflips, and rope climbing, in the P.E. outfits.}
Kitty:
Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds
Still we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive
Bree:
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
Bree and Kitty:
And he's watching us all with the eye
{Both groups start to march in the field together with determined eyes.
Bree and Kitty with Cheerios:
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the
Eye of the tiger
Bree:
The eye of the tiger
Kitty:
The eye of the tiger
Kitty throws a basket ball she picked up backwards and it lands perfectly in the hoop behind her. The two Cheerios would-be captains turned to glare at each other.
Unique meets with Jake in the dance studio so Jake can help her with the choreo, when in fact, Unique hopes to get closer to Jake to uncover any secrets that could be against his relationship with Marley.
"Hey. You ready?"
Unique stares at him with determination in her eyes that he mistakened for determination for dance. "You bet your butt I'm ready Puckerman."
Jake smiles, thinking she was just being friendly. "Alright let's get started." He walks forward and starts dancing for Unique to follow. Unique stares at him with curiousity, paying close attention to him. They begin the dance routine with Jake doing it first then Unique copies him with excellency.
Unique:
Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
Oh can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
{They start to dance together and Unique stares at him with fire in her eyes.}
Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby, please
Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Unique and Jake:
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
I'll be watching
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
I'll be watching you
Jake looks at her with a skeptical look on his face. "You did that whole routine perfectly."
Unique puts on a fake smile. "I guess I'm a natural."
"Maybe, but you weren't even a step out of place. You clearly didn't need my help... What are you really doing here?"
Unique stands still for a moment before finally replying. "I wanted to know if you can be trusted."
Jake furrows his eyebrows. "Trusted with what?"
"Marley."
He groans. "Seriously? You're still on that? I thought I proved myself pretty well in Katy and Gaga Week."
"Which ended with her letting you touch her boobs! How do I know you didn't manipulate her into letting you do that? For all I know, if she said no, you would've walked right over to Bree to sleep with her all day every day."
"That can never happen. I love Marley." He said with anger of these baseless accusations.
"Maybe so, but people don't change. Maybe you didn't do it then, but I'm hella' sure you'll do it eventually! I said it before and I'll say it again... you're a womanizer." She turns with passion and storms out of the room leaving Jake to his anger.
"Welcome idiots to the McKinley High valedictorian speech-off." Sue said as she sits in the auditorium in the seat of power, with Will, Shannon, Roz, and Mr. Figgins sitting next to her as her panel of judges. "Your job today is to decide which of these speeches is slightly less awful." She said as Artie and Tina march onto the stage with determination in their eyes.
"That being said, allow me to present absolutely no one's favorite New Direction! Tina Cohen-Chang." The only person their to clap for her is Sam, which kinda looks sad, but Tina walks with the same determination in her eyes.
"My fellow graduates, I feel like I was a different person when I first arrived at McKinley High School four years ago. I was a goth chick who was so intent on pushing people away that I pretended to have a stutter, which I now understand wasn't even that convincing. I wasn't even good at stuttering. But then, something in my life changed. Someone, actually. In fact... that someone changed me. And that person's name is Artie Abrams."
Flashback
Artie travels through the halls being pushed by Rory with Sugar next to them. "I just wanna let you know Artie, we've got your back for the whole valedictorian thing. Tina does not deserve that after what she did to you." Sugar said.
Artie wasn't so sure. "I wouldn't say that. She didn't mean to." Artie said but before the couple could reply they see Tina by the lockers talking to them
"Artie, wait." They stop to hear what she has to say. "I'm really sorry. It was an accident. You're still one of my best friends, Artie. I know you know that."
Artie nods. "Ditto."
The couple look at him shocked. "What?!" Sugar and Rory A.K.A Flamotta said.
Flashback ends
"Artie has taught me how to not only be myself, but he's an inspiration to high school students everywhere."
We see Artie doing his speech. "Sure, I've experienced adversity. One Christmas, I was given a pair of mechanical legs that allowed me to walk for an hour before they promptly broke. But I've never been so humbled as I was the moment Tina Cohen-Chang wiped the slushie off of her gown and triumphantly returned to the stage to claim her rightful crown as prom queen. That is why I respectfully withdraw myself from consideration, and ask that Tina be named this year's valedictorian."
We return to Tina's speech. "I believe he should be given the title of class valedictorian. Is it a bridge too far to call Artie Abrams an American hero? I think not."
Back to Artie. "It's no exaggeration to say that Tina took my broken body in her arms and taught me how to love."
"And as he strains to push his wheelchair up that ramp, the ghosts of fallen heroes follow close behind. Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi. Artie Abrams holds high the torch of dignity."
"So please, respected judges, cast your lot for Tina."
"I beseech you, vote for Artie."
"Tina Cohen-Chang, teammate, sometime lover, patriot, friend. Thank you."
"Thank you. What a treacly, stomach-turning waste of everybody's time. I hate you both." Sue said annoyed. "The judges will now make their decision while I find a wastebasket to dry-heave mouthfuls of yellow bile into."
Finally, what we've been waiting for is upon us. Kitty and Bree marched to the field with Roz Washington being there to watch. "Get on with it! I've got a date planned and a 2 hour spa, and I will NOT miss either!" Roz said in a megaphone.
Kitty glares at Bree. "Ready to get your butt kicked?"
Bree rolls her eyes. "You wish. You're about to be schooled."
Roz holds a coin in her palm. "Sister calls it."
Bree calls it knowing it's her. "Tails." Roz flips the coin and it lands on tails.
"Bree decides."
"She can go first." Bree said causing confusion. "It will give my group time to warm up before bringing the smackdown on yours."
"Well then, enjoy those stretches, because my routine will be so much better." Kitty marches with her group and prepares, before Roz playes the boombox, playing 'La Roux's Bulletproof'. Kitty smirks at the song choice, thinking that she was unstoppable at this point.
Kitty:
Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun, don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet,
I won't let you in again
The messages I've tried to send,
My information's just not going in,
{We cut to Bree and her group's performance, just as good as Kitty is, but she wants to be better, she NEEDS to be better}
Bree:
Oh
Burnin' bridges shore to shore,
I'll break away from something more,
I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap,
Been there, done that, messed around,
I'm having fun don't put me down,
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet,
Kitty with Cheerios:
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
Bree with Cheerios:
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
Bree(and Kitty):
Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch
And life's too short for me to stop
(Oh baby, your time is running out)
I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
(All you do is fill me up with doubt)
Bree and Kitty:
This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof
This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof
This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof
This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be
Bulletproof
Bree's group, who went second held their final poses for a few seconds before collapsing, out of breath. Same with Kitty's group. They both put a lot of effort into those performances, now it's up to the Coach.
Marley and Ryder stand in front of their feuding partners with stern looks on their faces.
"So, I think you both know why we're here today." Marley said with a disappointed tone.
Jake has a scared look on his face. "Are we in trouble?"
Unique raises her eyebrow at him. "Why are you acting like a child, who got his mommy angry?"
"You've never seen Marley angry... you won't like her when she's angry."
Marley signs. "The reason we're here is because I noticed both of you glaring yesterday at Glee club. I told Ryder, and now, we're staging an intervention."
Ryder looks at Unique. "Unique, what's going on? What did Jake do?"
Jake looks shocked. "What did I do? Dude?!"
Ryder raises his arms defensively. "Do you want me to accuse my girlfriend."
Unique chuckles at what happened before getting serious and replying. "It's not what he did, it's what he's gonna do."
Marley groans. "Are you seriously still convinced he's going to cheat on me? I thought we were passed that."
"Sure he loves you, but back in Sadie Hawkins he had to go to his brother for advice on whether to go with you or to sleep with Kitty."
Jake shakes his head. "That was months ago! I've changed."
"I don't believe that. People don't just change."
Ryder sits next to her and looks into her eyes. "They can if they meet the right people. When we first met, I thought you were a dude. I called you Wade, we had a feud off, I can see why you had to cat-fish me just to get closer to me." They chuckle at that memory. "See? Sometimes people can change, if you just help them get through it. Tina's changed, Brittany's changed, Joe's changed, even Kitty changed... kinda... sometimes." They tilt their heads, knowing she's not always bad, but she's still kinda rude.
Unique sighs. "Maybe you're right." She turns to Jake. "Look, I'm not entirely sure you won't break Marley's heart but... I'm willing to trust you, as long as you promise to never do anything to hurt her."
Jake turns to Marley with a smile. "I think I can do that." Marley smiled at that, in pride of her boyfriend.
Ryder stands up. "Alright, now that that's out of the way let's get lunch. They're serving Pizza today."
"Ooh Pizza." Unique said as they all walk together to the cafeteria.
Kitty and Bree sit in two opposite ends of the waiting room glaring at each other. Trying to psyche each other out.
"Why are you even here Kitty-cat? You know who won that challenge." Bree said.
"Yeah, me." Kitty said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Pfft, you think that Coach Washington would go for vanilla when she knows chocolate is the obvious way to go?"
(I would like to point out that I'm black so don't go accusing me of racism.)
"We'll see."
Roz opens the door to her office and signals them to come in. They walk in and bump into each other at the door before going in and sitting down to hear Roz's decision. "Ladies, I saw both of your routines, and I was impressed. Let me say that you made it very difficult for me to make this decision when I decided there wa only one choice..." Both girls smirked thinking they had won. "I'm giving both of you the job." They widened their eyes in surprise of this news.
"I'm sorry what?" Bree questioned
"That's right, as of this day forward, I am assigning you both to the rank of Co-Captain."
"You can't do that!" Kitty argued.
Roz didn't give a damn however. "I'm sorry, are you the coach here? I just did! Look, you both have a lot of passion, and the best way to use it is to use it together. Now you two shake hands and get ready for the rest of the year, because you two have a lot of work to do... together."
Both Cheerios looked at each other in anger before sighing and standing up to shake each other's hand.
"Make no mistake, I still don't like you." Kitty said with a cold-stare.
"Feelings mutual.
We find Tina and Artie sitting next to each other in their principal's office, hand in hand. They will be happy whoever wins, but they hope to be valedictorians together.
"Well, the judges have spoken." Sue announced.
"And?" Tina asked.
"Congratulations, morons. You split the vote. It's a tie." She congratulates sarcastically.
"Are you serious?" Artie said.
"Yes, I am, Make-a-Wish. Now I have no choice but to make you co-salutatorians. And elevate the student ranked number three to the class valedictorian." What Sue said shocked both of them. They didn't think that by tying they would end up losing. They though they would be co-valedictorians, not co-salutatorians! The real question is... who's the new one.
"Who?" Tina asks said question.
"Blaine Anderson."
Tina stands up with a mortified look. "What?!" She and Artie said.
"I'm really sorry, guys." Blaine said as they go down the hallway to Glee club together. "I feel terrible."
"Don't be, if we can't be valedictorian, we're glad it's you." Tina said clearly upset.
Blaine however didn't pick that up. "No, but you two deserve it. I mean, come on, you guys have a higher grade point average. I know this sounds like a humble brag. But honestly, I feel like sometimes things just get handed to me." He said, just figuring that out. Tina and Artie turn around to face him with 'you're just now figuring that out idiot?' looks.
"Really? Hmm. I never noticed that." Artie said sarcastically.
Blaine still not picking it up, continues. "You know, like, how Mr. Shue gives me more solos than anyone, and..."
"Blaine gay Blaine!" He turns around when he sees Becky walking towards the seniors with a tablet in her hands. "When did you break-up with Pancake Face?"
"Uh, Becky, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't call my fiancé Pancake Face. And no, we're not broken up."
"Yeah, you are." She said holding the laptop to show him a photo. He walks causiously towards her and sees a facebook photo of Kurt with Elliot kissing him in the cheek. He starts to feel a little jealous, but tries to keep it down.
"Um, that's a... that's a great photo, Becky. But don't worry. Kurt and Elliot are just friends." He said trying to sound convincing.
"Just friends, my ass. Speaking of ass... Pancake Face is getting some. Oh, snap!" Becky snaps her fingers and walks away, leaving Blaine to his jealousy with Artie and Tina grabbing his shoulders.
"Tina and Artie have both demurred from having solos at Nationals, so we're still looking for someone to step up." Will said the next day in the choir room.
"Uh, Mr. Shue?" Blaine raises his hand.
"You already have a solo, Blaine." Tina said bitterly.
"Thank you, Tina. This is about something else." He sits down next to Kitty. "As you may have all heard, I have been asked, oddly, to be valedictorian this year. And so, I thought, instead of boring everybody with the traditional valedictorian speech where I tell people to follow their dreams and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I could actually affect people by singing. So I was hoping you guys could help me brainstorm some graduation songs."
"I cannot wait to watch Principal Sylvester assassinate you." Artie said upset as he high-fives Tina.
"Look, I know you guys both really wanted it. That's why I want both of you to sing with me. Whatever song we pick, we should pick together. And you should both definitely have solos." He turns to Tina. "And, Tina, we could film rehearsal and send it to Brown. And they're so artsy and progressive that I'm sure once they see it, they're just gonna open up those Van Winkle gates, looking for you."
"They better open them really wide." Kitty compliments.
"Oh, Blainy Days." Tina said forgivingly.
"Well, if we're gonna go down, I'm honored to go down together." Artie said as everyone claps and celebrates with the trio.
STARRING:
Matthew Morrison as Will Schuester
Darren Criss as Blaine Anderson
Chord Overstreet as Sam Evans
Jenna Ushkowitz as Tina Cohen-Chang
Kevin McHale as Artie Abrams
Vanessa Lengies as Sugar Motta
Damian McGinty as Rory Flanagan
Samuel Larsen as Joe Hart
Alex Newell as Unique Adams
Melissa Benoist as Marley Rose
Jacob Artist as Jake Puckerman
Blake Jenner as Ryder Lynn
Becca Tobin as Kitty Wilde
Erinn Westbrook as Bree Westbrook
GUEST STARRING:
Lindsay Pearce as Harmony Pearce