AVERY:

Soon after Jessica Burns woke up in the hospital, the news spread around South Brookdale like a rocket.

"Jess is awake."

"Thank God she pulled through."

"A sense of relief. I wonder how she's doing?"

"I heard her mother's homeschooling her in the meantime."

And, of course, when Jessica's name turned up, so did mine.

"Jesus. It's Avery Keller."

"Steer clear of her. Have you heard what happened to Jessica? She did it."

"Such a bitch. Who's going to forgive her? The girl almost died in the hospital."

For as much as I could, I tried to block it all out. But I couldn't. Everywhere I went, it was all the same thing - Jessica's awake, Avery's a bitch, steer clear of her, rinse and repeat.

I walked up to my girls who stood by their lockers, as they stood around talking about me and Jessica. They all looked at me with dirty expressions as I stood next to them.

Maddy was the first to speak. "Hey."

"Look, I…"

"Don't, Avery. We've heard all there is to know. We've seen all there is to see. You did the bullying, and you know it."

"But I…"

Then Tessa chimed in. "You what, Ave? Joked around with her? I mean, you even said in that movie that Amy made that you didn't admit that you sent those threatening e-mails and texts."

I froze. Even if I knew about Amy and the documentary team, and that them releasing the movie and the resulting footage that came from it was going to be an inevitability, it still came as a shock to me. I didn't know what else to ask other than, "What do you think?"

"You know what I think?" Kayla added. "When you viewed that footage of you bullying poor Jessie, and you cried and cried, I didn't want to believe it. I just felt like you put on those tears because you got caught. Because the cameras caught you."

"We've had enough of you, Avery. The only thing you should do right now is come clean," said Maddy.

"I did. I told everyone in that apology video that I posted that I was really, truly sorry," I shot back. "And what about you guys, huh? Just ratting me out like a scapegoat? You talking about being afraid of being caught, look at you," I spat out. All their jaws hanged slack now.

"This isn't about us," said Emily. "It's about you."

"You only goaded me on and helped further the bullying, so if you cared so much about Jessica, then why didn't you people try to put a stop to it?" I spoke loudly. At this point, almost everyone was looking at us. Most of them glanced at me.

"I never was a part of it," said Maddy.

"Yeah, me neither. It was all you," Kayla added.

Then they both turned to the whole crowd that was staring at us. "Yeah, don't believe what Avery's saying. She did it all by herself," Maddy protested.

"Yeah, we didn't have anything to do with it, we weren't there," Kayla replied. They both left, leaving me, Emily, and Tessa.

Tessa shook her head and whispered, "You're such a freak, Avery." Then she too left. It was me and Emily now.

"Em, please. You know everything I said was real and I meant it with all sincerity," I whispered.

She said nothing, only staring at me with an empty look. Then, the school bell rings, and Emily ran off, saying, "I got to get to class."

I was left alone. The rumors only escalated from here.

"Putz. She's seriously pinning the blame on other people and not herself."

"So much for her stupid clique."

"Funny how the leader can't even get control of her own clan. What a joke."

Hanging my head, I ran like a rocket straight to the bathroom. The bathroom that I bullied Jessica Burns in, when I said that this bathroom belong to me and my girls only. From there, I just kind of lost it. I started hyperventilating badly and the tears were coming out right away. It was my one chance to start patching things up between the people I've hurt, and already it was off to a bad start.

It took about a couple of minutes, but when I finally did calm down, I headed to Mr. Porter's robotics class, one that I took up recently at the discretion of my older brother, Josh, and my parents.

Mr. Porter was the first to notice me as I walked in. "Oh, Miss Keller. Come in, I was just about to take roll." He had a nice voice, one that sounds more akin to Bob Ross.

A few whispers fluttered around the classroom. "It's the girl from the movie."

"Could it be?"

"Jesus, if we ever do team projects, I don't want her to be on my team."

"If it isn't Ms. Oh-So-Perfect."

Mr. Porter snaps his fingers, trying to get the attention of the class. "Now, now. No one talk, please," he said, gently. Then he turned to me. "Avery, you will sit here with Mr. Slater here."

Brian? Man, I couldn't imagine sitting next to Jess - I haven't crossed that bridge yet of apologizing to her, but Brian? Why did I have to sit next to Brian? This is terrible, I thought. But I didn't want to argue - enough people were calling me a bitch anyways, so I obeyed, and took my seat next to Brian. He didn't look at me, and I didn't look at him. I just stared at the floor as Mr. Porter finished his roll call.

"I welcome you all to my side of the world - robotics class. Call me what you want, but my name is Mr. Porter," he said, and wrote his name on the whiteboard. I immediately zoned out and turned to Brian. He gave me a look, then looked away and looked back. Is he going to say something? Whisper something? Out with it, Brian!

Before long, I heard, "Now, I'm giving you a chance to share with the class what prompted you to take up robotics. Your name. Who you are. All of that." One by one, the students spoke, from table to table. Then it came to our table. Mr. Porter pointed to me, and told me to stand up. I braced myself as I heard multiple students murmuring.

"Uh, hi… I'm Avery. Avery Keller."

"Murderer," I heard someone whisper. Whether or not that remark was extreme didn't matter to me. I kind of deserved it.

"My brother told me robotics could be a good fit for me… so… yeah…"

And I sat back down.

"Slut," whispered another. And another muttered, "Bitch."

"Guys, settle down," ordered Mr. Porter. Honestly, I'm amazed he could hear them whispering. "Well, Avery, welcome in," he said. Then he pointed to Brian. "Let's hear from you, Brian. Reintroduce us to the class."

"Hi, I'm Brian. This is now my second year in robotics class, and I aim to be an engineer one day."

Even more whispers were heard.

"Is that Jessica's boyfriend?"

"It's the guy from the movie."

"Jesus, I pity him if he's paired with Avery."

"Well, hello again, Brian," Mr. Porter said. "I think that's everyone. Now, as you can see here, the materials in front of you… today you will be starting to plan and build your own robots for the annual BotBattle competition here in South Brookdale. The person sitting next you will be your partner."

I was seated next to a wall on my right, so I looked to my left. Shit. Brian's my partner. As if things can't get any more awkward. Brian looked at me, then stared at the countertop. The last thing he wanted was to be paired with me for one of those group projects.

"Right here you will see… arms, here." He holds up a pair of robotic arms. "Screws, bolts, metal plates, metal bars. The rest I have here in tubs scattered across the classroom, so feel free to ask for them whenever it's needed."

The students clamored and eyed the supplies with wonder, like kids opening gifts on Christmas. Except for me and Brian. Every time we tried to look at each other for more than a second, we just quickly averted our gazes. There was tension between us. I was too afraid to speak up to ask if I could change partners… although, if I did ask, so many things would happen. The teacher might say no, people would think I'm crazy, and almost everyone here was against being my partner anyways.

But as soon as Mr. Porter had us get to work on our robotics projects, Brian wanted to let bygones be bygones just for the sake of getting things done and having a good grade in class. He didn't waste any time being silent - even though he was hurting and he didn't want to be partners with me, he didn't argue. He just immediately turned to me and took out a piece of paper. "Um… so what we're going to do… well, do you have any ideas?"

I just went along with it. "Well, why don't we figure out how to make it move first? Say… maybe a big wheel in front and two wheels behind, like a trike?"

And in no time, we quickly got to work. Brian was surprised that I was cooperating with him, but I didn't have much of a choice. I found it was better just to drown myself in work rather than engaging with friends. Brian really wasn't my friend. We were just like co-workers in a busy office, wanting to get things done rather than gossiping.

We drew up multiple sketches of robots - one with a big claw, another with a big hammer, and a third with a big wrecking ball. Brian asked, "Of these, what would you like to build?"

I froze for a minute. I did like the wrecking ball, but I'm not sure if Mr. Porter would approve of such an idea and it looked kind of clunky. The hammer one was my second favorite, so I chose the hammer robot.

"Great. What do you want to call it?" asked Brian.

I wasn't really good with names, so I threw a quick one. "Smashy?"

"Eh. What about Beelzebot?"

"What's that?"

"…you know, Beelzebub? Big fly? Satan in the Bible?"

I looked at him as if he was crazy. Beelzebot, I thought. What a stupid name.

"Eh. I think we could do something better."

Then I just spat out, "Actually, I think Beelzebot is good! It's a great name, really!"

Brian froze. He took about two seconds before nodding. "Okay, Beelzebot it is." He turned to the paper and wrote the name "BEELZEBOT" in capital letters.

"That's that." He eyes the clock on the wall. "It's almost time for us to go."

I wanted to ask about Jessica. I started with, "Brian?"

Brian looked at me as I began to speak. "Listen, I…"

"We're not friends, just so you know. And I don't think we're going to be friends after this is all over. The only reason I'm being kind to you right now is because I'm not letting someone like you get in the way of me getting a good grade here. I'm not going to complain or cry about us being paired for this, nor am I expecting an olive branch from you," Brian said.

It was enough to shut me up. Maybe he wasn't ready to forgive. At least not right now. And I'm not sure Jessica is ready to forgive right now as well. Maybe they'll never forgive me. I honestly can't blame them. I did such a damaging thing, and no excuse or explanation can get me out of this.

Soon afterwards, the bell rang, and we all went home for the day. It was going to take more than just a simple robotics project to try and patch things up between not only me and Jessica, but also me and Brian, and everyone else.

JESSICA:

It was time for me to come home. I missed seeing my favorite teachers in South Brookdale, but more importantly, I missed seeing Brian. The good thing is, he would often come over to my house to discuss about school and other things.

Today was one of those days. In fact, as soon as he was done with classes in South Brookdale for the day, he was the one, along with my mom, that took me home from the hospital.

"All right, honey. In you go," Mom said as we entered the car. I sat in the back with Brian.

As we cruised down our block, the only sound out of our car right now was the stereo punching out the dulcet tones of Paul Simon, serenading us: "I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free, there must be fifty ways to leave your lover…"

Of course, it being an oldies hit, Mom was singing along to it. I zoned out as we continued down Delaney Lane. Then I looked at Brian. I could sense he was hiding something. I wanted to ask him, but my mind thought otherwise. I didn't want him to worry.

Before long, I was back home. The two-story white house that I lived in all these years looked different as it was when I first lived in it. We walked inside, and went up the stairs. I had some nerve damage in my left arm because of the overdose, which was why I felt some sharp pain there as I held on to the railings.

I retreated to my room, and Brian followed me there. Before leaving the room, Mom said, "You need anything, call me. I'll be in the living room."

After that, we were left alone. There was an awkward silence at first between us. Brian took out a textbook he had for English class. Suddenly, it just came out. "So what's been going on at school?" I asked.

Brian looked up. He had a nervous look on his face… I could definitely tell he's hiding something. "Nothing much," he said.

You know, Brian wanted me to be open to him about things more. What's stopping him from practicing what he's preaching by opening up to me? I started to pry for more information. "Brian, you can tell me anything," I persuaded.

He hesitated for a moment, then spoke. "Well, uh… the school saw the film."

I froze. "What film?" I asked.

Brian then told me the rest of the story - after he told the documentary crew about the footage that was filmed, a movie was put together showing how I suffered under Avery's ire for six months, and how the events of my suicide attempt mentally and emotionally affected him and my family.

Then, the big twist came…

"Avery was the most affected," he said. "I saw the sadness in her eyes when she realized what she was doing to you."

Then he showed me four clips from this documentary movie on his laptop. I didn't feel like revisiting these events, but yet here I am, watching it for the first time. I just sat down and cried. I felt every bit of emotion when I saw the first two scenes, and I see my parents sitting near me, breaking down over my lifeless body as I laid in the hospital for that agonizing week. When the documentary team approached Brian for the first time to talk about me, he broke down in tears, which made me break down in tears as well. What also made me cry was when Gabby went to Dad and said to him, "I'm so scared." And the way she said it, you could tell she cared deeply about me. I only cried harder.

Then it got to the last two clips. Seeing Avery being guilty of what she did… at first, I really wanted to believe her. I really do. I am not one to be rude to someone and to push someone away, but knowing how manipulative she is… I'm not sure if I'm ready to believe that she's really a hundred percent sorry.

The scene where her friends present a written testimony to Principal Harris and her denying any responsibility for the harassment really got to me. In fact, it angered me so much, Brian could tell I felt very uncomfortable watching it as I placed my face in my palms. He asked if he could stop it, but I insisted on seeing it, so he continued playing it. At this point, not only was Avery the cause of this whole thing, but I also had to pin the blame on her mother as well. She staunchly defended her, asking, "Did the bullying put her in the coma or did she put herself in the coma by swallowing the pills?"

Are you serious? You're defending her in all of this after what has happened?

Then the final scene he showed me is of Avery watching the recorded footage that Brian and I had. When she cried and admitted to what she did, I felt a tear running down my cheek as well. It felt gauche at first, crying for someone who is deemed a bully, especially considering that for all I know, this could be a big ploy and she was only crying because she got caught. But then I heard this from her:

"…I mean, who would I talk to? I have nobody, my mom doesn't talk to me, my dad doesn't talk… my friends don't care about real life, they care about shopping, they don't… I don't have any real friends. I did have one real friend, and that was Jessica, the one person that cared about me, the one person that would never hurt me, and then I go and fuck it all up. I hurt her, and I can't even say I'm sorry."

Knowing this, I started to feel a little bit bad for her. I know the old saying that gets passed around - once a bully, always a bully, and she had no right to take it out on me, or anyone else. But at the same time, she's in a toxic relationship with her family, she had fake friends who ratted her out whenever things got too real, and she really didn't have a support system. Any other person could've seen through her crap and said, "Nah, I don't forgive you, get out of here." But I wouldn't. It's a complicated feeling - feeling sorry for the one that gave you grief and sorrow, yet knowing that their actions are unreasonably inexcusable.

As soon as he turned off the laptop, Brian faced me and said, "There's something else I got to tell you."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Well… it was the start of the second semester today, and I had my robotics class."

"Okay?"

"And… well… Avery was there."

This got me a bit curious. "Yeah? Well, what happened?" I continued questioning.

"I'm… well, her partner in the robotics assignment for the BotBattle competition." He looked away and hanged his head. But I wanted to know more, so I kept prying. "Did she say anything about what happened, or…?"

"Well… I could tell something was different about her. She wasn't being brash or loud. She wasn't being like a class clown. There was a different energy about her, but I couldn't tell if it was really her just wanting to be a different person and to show that she could make a change, or if it's all just a hoax. I mean… you saw how manipulative she was towards you. You saw how she and her mother were gaslighting the principal."

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't know… even then, she was different. She threw herself into this project and started working with me about the robot we were going to build."

"What else happened?"

"Well… I told her that after this project is completed, that I wasn't interested in being friends with her after what has happened between you two. The only reason why I was so willing to cooperate with her on this was because I just didn't want to fail this class," he said.

"Seems reasonable," I replied.

Brian looked at me with a pensive stare. "Is it a sign?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked back.

"That she's starting to change."

I paused for a moment. Then I said, "It's too early to tell." And I was right. From what Brian is telling me, I could sense that Avery's trying to shift her focus from being the popular girl to one who actually gave a damn about her studies. And it wasn't too out of the question for her to suddenly be cooperative in getting something like a robotics project done - after all, when some people are overcome with so much grief, they tend to throw themselves more into their work just to forget about them, so maybe Avery's just focusing on that just to take her mind off of what's been happening.

Maybe, for her sake, and for mine, this is the start of a new Avery Keller, but… I don't know. I really don't know.