Chapter 3: Pootis
*Audible Crash sfx* "Ouch." Quandale finds himself in red's base. He then suddenly finds himself in the blu base because he got auto balanced. "Oh, hi friend, have sandvich." The hoovy says while giving him the sandvich. "Uh, what am I supposed to do here?" *Alert, game begins im 30 seconds* From behind, an engineer spawned in rushes to the spawn gate to build a sentry, but there was a wm1 pyro spawn camping and killed the engineer. Quandale then steals the wrench and pdas. He then gets rushed by a scout but he retaliates with his gun melting the scout. *Let the games begin*
"Well, not our finest moment, shall we?" " Who are you?" "We'll answer that as we win this game." Quandale watches as the guy jumps above the pyro, who somehow made it into their spawn at the start. dodging all of his flames, then blasts his head off using his revolver. *Alert, the enemy has taken out intelligence* "I am the spy, we'll find who you are soon enough, but of course." The spy says as he trickstabs the demoknight taking the Intel. Quandale then remembers this person as the Pro action spy since he got dominated by him once. He takes the Tide Turner and the phlog and follows him. That is, after burning the pocket medic that was following him.
The duo climbs the roof of the bridge, catching a fish that was jumping out and Quandale gets a Mackerel kill on a tunnel vision sniper. "Maybe I should've trusted newbies more if you are who they are." "I'm no newbie, I have 100 hours in this game." Before he says anything else, he sees a photo tag which says "began from the very start and never stopped." Oh well. They climb into the long stairway, where a scout tries to flank him, but gets shot down by the sentry built by Quandale. The pro action spy, not wanting to be outdone, trickstabs a soldier, headshots a medic, then shoots his gun launching his knife into the back of a heavy. The spy made his remarks. "Thank you for being such a dear friend. You have made most of the enemy lobby quit, and I have never had such a competent team member ever be-"
Quandale got beheaded by the same demoknight that the spy killed. "There can be only one. I am going to put what's left of ya in a soup can." Quandale remembered something, in this game, he can respawn. As he waited, he saw that the enemy has gotten his team's intelligence again and now the spy was busy dueling the demoman and worst of all, he had 27 seconds left of respawn time. All he could do was switch between the useless team members but he then sees something. A pro soldier on their team along with both a scout and that same hoovy find the medic heavy combo trying to cap and destroy them. In all of this time Quandale respawns and he rushes to the spy, who won the fight. What did you expect? He also decided to take the eyelander the demo dropped. The last four members of the blu team were afk and the spy got his four heads. He got the intelligence, and all he had to do was walk back.
*OMEGATRONIC has joined the server* * MAXIMILIANMUS has joined the server* "Oh no," "What?" "This is it, the bots have come. NOOOOOOOO." Terrible music and random stuff filled the chat and the spy had to get the intel back to his base to win the game. As they ran, Quandale's sentry killed a few bots before it got destroyed. His team was falling apart. Everyone who hadn't escaped spawn yet was now getting spawncamped, and red had been completely replaced with bots. Anyone who got killed was ddosed and all that was left was Quandale, the spy, the soldier, and the hoovy. The run back was a nightmare as they had to dodge thousands of bullets, and they didn't seem to stop, no matter how many times they got sprayed or backstabbed. Quandale along with the soldier fired rockets and explosive bullets into the snipers, distracting them. Thanks to the distraction, the spy almost made it into the Intel room, just one more stairway.
*Critical headshot* The spy was left at one hitpoint and only survived from the eyelander. He unfortunately didn't anticipate the second sniper bullet. That was the hoovy's job, who saved the spy with his sandwich. The Intel was capped. With the game win, Quandale thought what to do next. He didn't mean Freeman no disrespect and he thought this match to be quite fun but what was the point. Was this going to be like Valhalla? Looking around he could feel the arid environment the desert entailed. The sand was course, rough, and got everywhere.
"Ah my dear friends. I must confess that, on this occasion, you have managed to foil one of my setups. But, as I always say, "The art of war is to deceive the enemy." And deceive them, I have." The world froze, all of the bot accounts rounding the remaining players. "My intention was not to win this game, rather, find my only threats and deal with them now. You must think that you have outmaneuvered me, foolish blu, but you have fallen into my hands. Who am I? You ignorant swine best show respect for I am Napoleon, the greatest military mind the world has ever known, and I will get my revenge on the dastardly force that is Twitch Chat for fouly fighting against me and assuming my failure. With the force of my army at Austerlitz I will defeat you, then I will use you to escape into the real world and exterminate all of those foolish slugs who think they have won. But first, let us have a game, and you might remember this as what you call, "Dustbowl." *Loading*