Ace and Abraham sat in silence.
The sun was centred in the sky now, beating down unapologetically on her head. Whenever she shifted, the concrete burnt her legs, but still, it was cooler than sitting in the fire engine that had spent the last hour or so converting into an oven. She placed the back of her hand to her face, feeling the heat radiating from her as she continued sitting in the sun.
She didn't mind Abraham or his company now, as they both stared off down the road that would eventually lead them back to the church. Her posture was the polar opposite of his, as she hunched over, leaning forward onto her good leg tucked against her chest. Even with the mistreatment they had in common, both of them had completely different reactions to the man behind them.
Eugene coughed behind her. She had no intention of looking back, no intention of seeing him alive.
"Do you regret it?"
The spluttering in her ear and Maggie's quiet aid grounded her to the meaning of his question—do you regret letting him live? She wondered if he'd even needed an answer, or whether she was the only one being choked by the stale air around them. Maybe he thought that she changed her mind as he did with his death, leaving her content with her decision not to stab the unconscious man who ruined her life.
Yeah, she regretted it, only because the feelings she got from her altruistic behaviour were already fading, and Eugene had just woken up.
Abraham would have been a lost cause, she reminded herself. If Eugene died at her hands, they never would have known if he'd come back from the injuries he received from the man sitting beside her. The unknown would send him spiralling into further self-destruction for an entirely justifiable action.
Still, he was waiting expectantly for an answer, for reasons she wasn't entirely sure of. Maybe he just needed verbal confirmation. Ace looked at him and stared for a while before she let out a long sigh and rubbed her hand over her face. "Yeah."
Abraham just nodded, either in agreement or understanding, she couldn't tell. His lack of communication and questions without follow-up was hard for her to decipher. Maybe he wanted her to say no, that she didn't regret keeping Eugene alive for him so he could feel less guilt (not that Ace was going to lie to him after already giving up her opportunity to kill Eugene).
There was a brief pause where she just listened to the breeze as it moved through the woods beside them, and she stared down at her now-wrapped sprained wrist, trying to squeeze her fingers into a fist.
"Would you do it again?" He asked. "If you had the chance."
Ace was quiet, and then she shrugged. "Depends."
"On?"
"How well you bounce back knowing you didn't kill him." It was a simple matter for her, knowing that if Abraham was going to remain on the same path of self-destruction and hotheaded behaviour, then the decision was not worth it. If that were the case, then she'd have to live with the knowledge that Eugene was alive for nothing.
Rustling from the tall grass brought their attention back; Ace and Abraham looked over their shoulders in synchronicity, as he reached for his knife, but he lowered his hand when he realised it was the other half of the group returning with fresh water and a fish.
Ace looked ahead once again, unwilling to see the looks she'd receive from the rest of the group when they saw her with Abraham. She admitted that it was probably weird for them to see, to be sitting with him after everything he said to her. She was just happy they were back, knowing it meant that with Eugene awake they could leave soon.
Abraham spared a few glances, but once he finished the water, his attention returned to his bleeding knuckles. He pulled the bloody bandage back over the wound, prepared to let the cloth soak over getting first aid from the fire engine. Ace would have offered to get it for him if she too wasn't avoiding that area.
Maggie and Isaac left Eugene where he was on the floor to talk to the rest of the group. Tara was the first one of them to ask the question they were all wondering. "How is he?"
"He's got a concussion, but he's getting better," Maggie said. "I think we should be safe to move him now." We should have moved him when we found out he was lying, Ace thought bitterly. It was probably the fact that the rest of the emotions were being crushed by the anger she felt, but she found it completely unfair that they had to cater to him. She understood the necessity to keep him still, she just didn't care.
"Good," Glenn gave a nod. "We should get him into the truck so we can head back, meet up with the others."
The best news Ace heard all day.
Abraham stood beside her and walked over to the fire engine where the rest of the group was standing, but he barely glanced at them as he leaned into the vehicle to grab the first aid kit. "I'm gonna wrap up my hand, then I'm driving."
Glenn seemed uncertain. "Are you sure that's—?"
"I'm driving," Abraham repeated, his voice low. He grabbed his bottle of water, before walking away from the group and taking a seat at the back of the fire engine to wrap his hand.
The group watched him for a second, probably shocked that he didn't blow up on anyone, but they eventually turned their attention back to Eugene. "Guess we should get him in the truck," Glenn said, before turning to Martinez. "Help me?"
"Sure," he agreed, following him to Eugene. "Let's get this over with."
Ace waited until they were done moving Eugene to try and stand up. With her one good arm and leg, she pushed herself upwards, wincing as she had to put the weight on both feet. She shifted her weight back to regain her balance just as Glenn and Martinez sat Eugene down in the back of the fire engine.
"I would have helped you if you said," Isaac said when he noticed her standing.
"It's fine," she mumbled, wiping her jeans. "Are we going now?"
"Yeah, we should be. As soon as Abraham is done, I guess," Isaac nodded and looked at the fire engine for a moment. "They're putting Eugene in the back, you might want to sit up front this time."
Ace clenched her teeth, able to see his body through the open door. She knew she would have to sit up front, so she didn't have to look at him. The issue was all of her things were in the back of the fire engine where she left them.
"What is it?"
Ace was quiet, contemplating, before she finally asked. "Can you grab my bag for me?"
"Yeah, of course," he nodded and smiled at her.
Isaac stepped up into the back of the fire engine and leaned forward to grab Ace's yellow bag. When he stepped back, he held out the bag by the shoulder strap for her to take. Ace slipped her good arm through the strap to lazily carry it to the front with her.
As she walked around to the other side of the fire engine, she pulled the door open and for a second, just looked at the climb she'd have to manage just to sit down. She placed her bad leg up on the step and threw the bag inside, before bracing. Sitting on the ground for as long as she had made her hip numb, and she knew that getting into the vehicle was going to hurt.
"Need help?" Isaac questioned.
Ace nodded wordlessly as she held onto the handle.
"Here." He placed one hand on her back, and the other on her waist to give her as much support as he could offer, and Ace felt the heat rush to her cheeks. Isaac took a step up and lifted her inside as she climbed the step. Ace hissed as her weight was fully on her bad hip for a second before she twisted herself to sit down in the seat. "Are you okay?"
She just shook her head in response, breathing deep breaths in and out as she waited for the pain to subside. Isaac stepped up, placing a hand on her shoulder to comfort her until she finally shifted over to the middle seat so he could sit down.
"It's alright," he said. "I'm sure everyone will be back by the time we get to the church. If they've started following us we'll meet up with them on the same road."
Once everyone else was in the back, ready, and Abraham had finished wrapping his knuckles in a clean bandage, he climbed into the seat beside her. He took the keys and switched on the ignition, and the fire engine rumbled to life, shockingly enough.
"Here we go," he said, before spinning around and driving off down the same road that they came on.
Ace leaned her head back on the seat and breathed out a deep sigh, unable to contain her anxiety. What if the path got blocked behind them and their people had taken a different road? What if Daryl and Carol weren't back from wherever they went the night Terminus attacked them? Her mind raced with all these possibilities and how they'd handle them, but she knew that if any of these scenarios were true, then she'd probably just break down again.
Isaac reached down beside her and pulled his bag onto his lap, before pulling out his notebook and a pencil. He dropped the bag on the ground and started doodling in the book to pass the time as they drove down the long straight road.
She could hear Maggie talking quietly behind her, asking Eugene questions to test his memory or offer him some water. Ace just tried to tune her out, not because of Maggie, but because it was just bringing up the thought of Eugene into her mind.
Abraham drummed his fingers as he drove, before turning to Ace. "When we stop, you wanna take the wheel? Get the chance to drive it before we find some vehicles that don't guzzle gas like a frat boy at a house party."
"I don't like driving," she mumbled. (That's why I wanted to fix it, she thought.)
She didn't bring up how big she desired to fix the vehicle, partly because she didn't want to upset him any further than he already had been that day. Abraham had no idea that she always wanted to fix a fire engine, and when he denied her the opportunity, he was under the assumption that she was the one to kill the bus.
Isaac glanced at her, puzzled, probably shocked that she didn't enjoy driving. It shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, since he'd met her Ace had never driven a car. In fact, the last time she drove was just to park one of the cars in the prison when they first found the place, and she only did that because she got to go slow.
Ace didn't like the idea of being in charge of heavy machinery that could move as fast as they did. Even a car moving as slow as 30 mph could do serious damage, and she'd seen first-hand what can happen to cars that had been in crashes. Someone totalled their car going 10 mph into the back of someone. That isn't to mention the time Martinez almost crashed because the bearing seized up or the actual crash of the bus—it was safe to say, she didn't like the idea of what a car could do to someone.
On their way back down the same road, Ace saw the town where they found the fire engine, passing the Goodwill where she and Isaac had messed around while they searched for clothes and a new backpack. The bookstore where he held her hand in the office. They passed the broken down bus where he helped her after she injured herself. The memories flooded back to her in images that she wanted to keep forever.
Isaac was probably the only good thing that happened to her on this trip, she realised, which was a stark contrast to how she felt about him before leaving the church. He was the only one who believed her about the bus, was the one to try and cheer her up when she discovered that Eugene had been lying this whole time.
And he was still there, sitting beside her as he drew in his book. She didn't try to see what he was drawing, giving him some privacy in their small space. But she took a second to admire the concentration on his face. When he looked back her way, Ace made it look as though she'd been staring out the window on his side of the fire engine, a pink tint forming on her cheeks.
"He's out," Maggie said quietly behind her, and Ace looked over her shoulder to see that Eugene had either passed out again or he'd fallen asleep. A mix of laying in the sun all day and being knocked unconscious was probably something that would make anyone tired.
Her eyes returned to the road in front of her, just happy to see that they had almost made it back to the church and their people. They hadn't passed any cars on the road leading to Washington, so they were probably still waiting there. If that were the case then Daryl and Carol hadn't returned, or maybe they had just returned and everyone was getting ready to leave.
As they approached the church, they sat Michonne, Gabriel and Carl outside with Judith on their back. The three of them were staring worriedly at the church before them, with Michonna and Carl holding their weapons as if they had to fight something off.
Isaac leaned across the seats, a frown written on his face. "They're outside, why?"
Walkers, Ace noticed, trying to pry the doors open to get out of the church. She pointed at the church, "Block the doors off, now!"
Abraham shook his head. "Can't do that, not with the stairs!"
"I said now!"
Despite his better judgement, Abraham rammed the fire engine through the spiked fortifications and stairs to block the doors, stopping ant walkers from being able to leave the church. Isaac cringed as he could see the walker's face in the door, trying to get its arm through to reach him, but there was nothing they could do with the truck in the way.
Still, Ace had her gun in her hand ready in case anything got through. Isaac did the same, putting his book away and grabbing the handgun from his holster. Ace and Isaac waited for Abraham to step out of the car, which he did after a glance back to Eugene. Ace was just behind him as he squeezed between the spikes to get out of the vehicle, and she slipped right through.
Maggie ran over and hugged Michonne. "You okay?"
"Yeah."
"Ace!" Carl ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "You're back."
"You and your sister okay?" She asked, looking at the baby over his shoulder, brushing her hair back with her hand.
"Yeah, we're good," Carl said with a nod. "What about you?"
Ace decided it best not to answer. She turned her attention back to Michonne, who, as she released Maggie from the hug, Michonne turned to Glenn as they reached out and held each other's wrists as a greeting. "You're back."
Glenn was quiet for a second, before explaining. "Eugene lied," he said solemnly. "He can't stop it. Washington isn't the end."
Michonne's face fell as she stared at Glenn before her eyes flickered to Eugene who was still sleeping in the back of the fire engine. Ace turned away, knowing how many times they'd have to give that news, and how many times she'd have to see the heartbreaking looks on everyone's face as they realised there was no end.
"Where is everybody?" She asked, partly interrupting the news about Abraham as she looked around for the rest of the group. There were walkers in the church and only four people were outside, which didn't bode well in her books.
Michonne glanced at Ace like she was going to answer the question, but she smiled as her eyes went to Maggie. She stepped over to her and she said, "Beth's alive. She's in a hospital in Atlanta. Some people have her, but the others went to get her back."
"Do we know which one?" Maggie asked in a choked tone.
"Grady Memorial."
Maggie raised her hands, unsure of what to do for a second before they rested in her hair. She ran her hands down her face before smiling and turning to Glenn who was ready to hug her. "Oh, my God."
"Let's blow this joint, go save your sister," Tara laughed.
"We need to look through the guns and ammo," Glenn said. "They might need our help there and we should be prepared before we get there."
"Better safe than sorry," Abraham agreed quietly.
Ace took this time to step away from the fire engine, getting some peace before she had to get back in the uncomfortably cramped vehicle. Normally she would have taken the time to browse through all the weapons and see what she could use, but she was already aware that her only option was the handgun and her melee weapons.
Footsteps in the gravel approached her, and she looked over her shoulder to see Eugene who was
"We'll go back and meet up with Rick, yeah?" Michonne offered. Ace gave so little of a reaction that she may have been not listening. She just waited for the others to make their way back to the fire engine so she could get in and they could find the rest of their people. "You know, he was really sorry with how things were before you left."
Again, there was no response. Ace didn't want to get upset again thinking of the day they left the church, because all it did was remind her of the things she had to do for the sake of protecting Eugene. She instead changed her tune, telling herself that she killed those people in the church to protect her family, and could have cared less whether Eugene made it or not.
At least that was how she felt on the matter now. (Really, she was thinking about the kills and being attacked by the people of Terminus because it took her mind off of being sent away by Rick, and how upset she was with him before she left).
Without another word, Ace headed back towards the vehicle to leave, but Michonne stopped her, determined to talk about what happened before they left to find the rest of their group. The others had a handle on getting Beth back safely, but there was another problem that had to be addressed. "Hey, what's up with your arm? And your limp is back."
Ace just hummed.
"How bad is it?" Michonne pushed again, knowing she had a little time while Glenn looked through the supplies they might need before they got back to the hospital, what guns and ammo they had in stock in case there was a fight when they arrived.
"I think I just re-hurt whatever was wrong with my hip from the war," Ace answered simply.
It made sense. Martinez thought she fractured it, and whatever brought the group back with more injuries probably had enough force to break the bone again if it wasn't fully healed yet, which it most certainly wasn't. Poor kid never got a break.
Michonne decided to address the other issue. "You don't seem very happy to be proved right."
A redundant statement, Ace thought bitterly, seeing as they'd already addressed the injuries that Ace was suffering from. Even if she was happy that she was right and the world would remain filled with corpses, any joy she could take from that fact was being beaten by the constant pain that never seemed to go away.
Ace clenched her teeth, avoiding the door to the back of the fire engine by keeping her eyes on the floor. When she looked back to Michonne she said, "Eugene sabotaged the bus and I got blamed for it. Abraham was pissed. I haven't been allowed to do anything because I'm just a stupid kid."
"Nobody thinks that," Michonne denied, but she now understood where the mood was coming from. Ace was happiest when she was working, or at least, she needed to keep herself busy whether it made her happy or not. Being dragged on a journey she didn't want to take and have all of the ways she knew to pass time ripped away must've been a bad experience.
"Maybe not now, but they did." She kicked the front of her shoe into the ground and scoffed. "Nobody trusts me enough to believe my word."
Again, Michonne shook her head. "Ace, you know that isn't true."
"If it wasn't true I wouldn't have been ridiculed," Ace said. "I can't do it anymore."
"Do what?" She raised a brow.
"I can't keep doing all the jobs I do, fix everything if no one believes that I'm doing it right," she explained. "Getting something wrong in a car could kill people, we all almost died. I can't keep getting blamed for something I didn't do," Ace said, her eyes falling on the fire engine again. "I can't—I can't be around him."
"I'm sorry he did that, Ace," Michonne finally said. "You just seem more upset than I would've thought over all this, is all."
"Yeah, because I wanted the world to burn," Ace mumbled to herself.
Michonne heard her but knew that Ace was not in the state to have her mind changed about the people who had wronged her up to this point. Even though she helped Abraham earlier, she still couldn't stop the glare that formed in his direction as she recalled how he spoke to her when the bus crashed. Getting over what happened would take some time, and in some cases, like Eugene, she didn't think it would ever happen.
Ace just shrugged, shaking her head. She could see Abraham waiting for her by the car, so she walked over and climbed in, sitting beside Isaac who was still freaking out over the walkers that were trying to grab at him.
"They can't get out?" He asked.
"No."
"I'd say that helps but even looking at them this close makes me uneasy," he mumbled.
"It's alright," Abraham offered as he climbed in beside them. "We're getting the hell out of here. Don't have to worry none 'bout those walkers. Glenn, are we ready to go?"
"Yeah," Glenn called back. "We're ready."
"Again, I'd like to say that helped," Isaac answered in a quiet voice that only Ace could hear, his eyes never leaving the window even as they pulled away from the church.
"What do we know about this place?" Martinez asked Michonne. "Like he said, it's best we show up prepared in case they need our help."
"Not much," she answered. "Daryl came back with a kid called Noah, apparently the people who've taken Beth ran over Carol. They find the injured and take them in, and make them work for their freedom, which they never seem to get."
"Jesus," he blew out a whistle. "Do we know how many of them there are?"
"No, he said a few names, but no numbers," Michonne answered. "The others should know more when we get there."
"So—so what are we going to do?" Carl asked.
"I'm not sure," she shook her head.
"Should try and radio the others when we get close, see if they're even at the hospital when we get there. They could be scoping the place out," Ace said in a bored tone, as though the idea was obvious. "If they don't answer then we're just going to have to assume they're there, go in and see what's happening. They might need rescuing."
Really, it was their only option, at that point, which became clear as she angrily got out the plan. Hopefully, they believed that it was their only option, she thought because she didn't have the patience to argue with anyone at that moment.
"It's good," Martinez offered.
"What would they be doing if this hospital had too many people?" Isaac asked.
Fight was her first thought, but Ace knew that if there were too many people for them to fight they would still stop for nothing to save Beth. So what else? Make a deal, if they were desperate enough. Ace decided to keep that one to herself, or she'd just be reminding Michonne of what they almost did to her. And she didn't want Isaac to know that she was once involved in a plan to hand over one of their own to the bad guys to save their group.
"I'm not sure," Michonne said.
"I'd like to stop talking about this now, if it means the same to you guys," Ace heard Maggie say quietly.
"Yeah, of course," Isaac said, looking over his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
For the rest of the ride to Atlanta, they drove in silence, nobody bringing up the topic of what they'd do if things went South again. It didn't matter, they already had a plan. All they had to do was get there and find the others, and hopefully, Beth.
There was no answer on the radio as they made their way into Atlanta, so they followed Michonne's instructions to the hospital as they were told to her. Atlanta was exactly the same as Ace remembered it from their night in the nursing home—completely empty. Occasionally they'd see the odd walker on the streets, but she expected as much, it was a city after all.
When pulled up to the hospital, Ace already had her gun in her hand. Ace slid across the seats to jump out the same side Abraham had taken, her handgun at the ready. She wanted something with more power, but with her wrist in a bandage, she knew there'd be no way for her to keep up a machine gun. Still, from what Michonne said, she knew there would be conflict and she was ready to fight.
"Stay in here," Michonne told Carl. "Watch your sister, and keep an eye on Eugene."
"Okay," Carl replied. "Be careful."
"We will."
Bodies filled the hospital car park, with some green QZ tents set up in front of the building. A walker stumbled out in front of them, which Glenn took care of, stabbing it with a knife as they walked towards the other end. Another walker came out from between the medical tents, and Michonne killed it with the sword. Ace stumbled ahead of Abraham, ready to get inside and find the rest of her people as quickly as possible.
As they made it through the next gate, she saw them. Rick was the first one to leave the building, which made Maggie and Glenn lower their guns beside her. Ace did the same, the handgun falling to her side as she walked faster.
But Rick shook his head, his eyes falling to the ground in front of him. Next was Sasha, her gun hanging in her arms as she was followed by Tyreese who was helping Carol walk. Everyone was sad, Ace noticed, watching their slow movements.
And then she saw it.
There was a metallic clunk as Maggie dropped her gun on the ground and cried out when she saw Daryl carrying Beth out of the building in his arms. His eyes welled up and his face contorted into grief as he walked the girl closer to them, so close that Ace could see the red of her blood coming down around her face.
She was dead.
A lump caught in her throat as Maggie screamed her sister's name, but there was nothing they could do. She looked back just for a second to see Glenn trying to comfort her, squeezing the top of her arms as Daryl brought Beth near. The others around just stared at them, the hopelessness settled around the group as they took in the scene.
Behind Daryl was a boy she guessed was Noah, whose shoulders sagged as he followed the group out of the building. Ace noticed he had a limp in his step. His hands were shaking, and he couldn't take his eyes away from the pair in front of them.
Isaac met her with glassy eyes, but only for a second before they returned to their friend. She couldn't help but remember the time they spent at the prison, or more so, the times she missed with them because of all the time she spent working on rebuilding what they used to call home.
Ace turned away from all of them. She couldn't stop the tears from filling her eyes as she looked away. Her arms fell limp at her sides as a new reason to hate Eugene consumed her. She could have been here for this, maybe she could have done something to help—but no. She was stuck protecting a liar.
"Ace . . ." Rick stepped in the way, blocking her view. "Come here."
Despite their last encounter, and the anger she held towards him, Ace stepped forward and slammed her body against him, burying her face in his chest as she broke down for the second time that day.
You know, I thought I would love writing season 5 until I remembered that it came to this episode and the next one. There is a huge gap between where nobody gets their feelings addressed on what happened, and then another gap after that before we actually get to the good episodes where the chapters are already written.
Needless to say, I am struggling with these next few chapters. Not only that but I have two exams next week for my final year of uni and the task of job hunting is one of the most stressful things I've done in my life.
I have really been trying to plan a good story arch for the next chapters though, and I'm hoping to be faster than I already have been. That's not to say there won't be a little wait between now and the next chapter because of the exams as I mentioned.
Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you all next time :)