Chapter 59: My Apprentice
The morning began like any other, until Bluestar made an appearance. Apparently, she or Whitestorm already told Brindleface about the apprentice ceremony because Ashkit, Fernkit, and Cloudkit were already out. Cloudkit's fur stuck out in messy tufts. He was clearly excited about what was to come. Meanwhile Fernkit was grooming down a loose tuft on Ashkit who looked somewhat indignant at the gesture. There was a look in his eyes that just told me everything. To him, this was his ceremony. It was his big day and no one else's.
I watched on as Cloudkit became Cloudpaw, apprenticed to Fireheart, and Fernkit became Fernpaw with the mentor Dustpelt. My eyes drifted to Ashkit knowing what would come next.
"Ashkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Ashpaw. Your mentor will be Smudgefoot. I hope Smudgefoot will pass down all they know on to you." She mewed toward my new apprentice before turning to me. "Smudgefoot, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You have received excellent training from Darkstripe and Tigerclaw, and you have shown yourself to be intelligent and cunning. You will be the mentor of Ashpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Ashpaw."
With that, we touched noses. While this little moment lasted, I decided to ensure Ashpaw got an understanding of our new relationship. "Ashpaw, I am your mentor. I'll teach what I can. I am not the best in certain skills, so expect for us to have collaborative training with other warriors." I mewed, putting extra emphasis on the word 'your.'
"What should we start with my mentor?" Ashpaw mewed. I distinctly noted the possession tense.
I understood Ashpaw was a possessive cat. I also knew he was the type to be fixated on decisions being his, according to the queens. Thus, I decided to give him options. "It is traditional for apprentices to first go on a tour of the territory, but I've also got a lesson on how to think like a warrior lined up. You can take either option. We'll do one after the other is done. Which would you like to do?"
Ashpaw seemed thrown for a loop. He hadn't expected me to give him options. It was almost like I could see the gears turning in his head as he weighed the options of doing the traditional first versus doing something else. Finally, he came to an answer. "I think it'd be best to go for the tour."
I nodded acceptingly. "A wise choice and one that is your own. Come along. It isn't much of a tour without your guide. I'm sure Ravenfeather will join us as well. He'll be your go to teacher for things I do not excel at."
Of course, Ravenfeather joined us for the tour. We briefly were with Dustpelt and Fireheart before splitting off. Of the apprentices, Ashpaw had the best behavior currently. I personally believed it was because Ashpaw had made a choice, thus making it his own. I had been right all along. Ashpaw was a sociopath of possession, very similar to me. Using possessive tenses and relating them back to him seemed to help him focus.
The tour was a simple affair. Ravenfeather and I pointed out notable landmarks and how to use them to navigate. It didn't take too long. When we got back, the sun was starting to drift into the afternoon.
"Your next lesson is a bit of an odd one." I mewed after pulling a crow from the freshkill pile. With measured efficiency, I pulled one of the long pinion feathers from its wing. I slightly wished it was more colorful, but it'd do for the lesson.
"I want you to have this feather. Do what you will with it. Shred it, play with it, etcetera. The only thing I ask is that you have it tomorrow." I mewed mysteriously.
I let him off the hook the rest of the day. He had to set up his nest in the apprentice den and do the basic apprentice thing of bragging to every cat willing to listen about their mentors. I briefly spied Ashpaw show off the feather I gave him. It wasn't long before the three were playing with it, tossing it, and catching it, ripping off the fine hair like barbs making up the feather. I was sure it'd be nothing but a ball of fluff by tomorrow, perfect for my lesson.
"So, why'd you give Ashpaw a feather?" Ravenfeather asked curiously.
"As you already know, Ashpaw is a possessive cat. Right now, he does not know how to use that to drive himself. He knows that feather is his, so he prides himself on it. What he currently doesn't understand is that I meant for the feather to be destroyed. He will lose something he owns due to the negligence he had towards keeping it. Thus, he will learn. It's all part one on how to make him a better cat. Someday, he'll see his own clanmates as something like possessions. I'd like for him to also care for their wellbeing. It won't fix what he is, but you can only work with that kind of problem. I honestly got lucky that a fever seemed to have boiled my brain hard enough to fix that in myself." I answered.
The next morning, I called for Ashpaw. "I'd like to see your feather I gave you yesterday." I ordered, for once not using possessive terms directly reflecting him.
Ashpaw dutifully produced the feather, or rather, the mangled remains of one.
"And what exactly is this?" I mewed with scripted annoyance.
"It's the feather, just like you asked." He answered, not understanding the problem.
I swatted away the ball of fluff. "I gave you a feather. This is what happens to something you own after just a day? Look at it. It is broken. You failed it and yourself. Are you proud to own that mangled ball of fluff?" I half growled.
Ashpaw looked at the mangled feather, now with clear distress. It hadn't occurred to him that he had lost the feather in all his play. I let my fur sink flat. I think he got the gist of the lesson, but I'd state it just to drive the point home.
"I'm not mad at you. In fact, this is what I expected to happen. Think of this as a test and a reflection of yourself. The feather stands for all your clanmates and family here. They are all yours, but at the same time, they are not yours to toy with. You are their guardian and confidant. They function best while they're pristine and working together. I'm not saying you need to shoulder every burden of the clan. I'm just wanting you to start to see the big picture. Even if you'll never see any cat as your equal, you must remember they are important to the continued function of the clan as a whole, your clan. I want you to talk with some cats around camp, learn their roles and how they better the clan. After Sunhigh, we'll go out and learn hunting techniques. Can you do that for me?" I instructed.
Ashpaw nodded slowly, clearly mulling over my lesson. I knew he wouldn't get it right away, but this is one lesson I'm sure will replay in his mind as he gets a firmer understanding of it.