I have Answers! I demand Questions!

by fvdv123

The granddaughter of Old Guy died and woke up in Hermione Granger. The poor lass has to prevent ending up in a Harem or worse, a reverse Harem! She is set to help Harry survive the Dursleys and Dumbledore. Cringe and Mary Sue are here as usual. Cliches, tropes, and avoiding old bastards are the main focus, mostly she is going to have fun answering all the Questions from Harry

5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Love the story, love the money you made out of it even when I don't have any… that is the closest I can get it to rhyme. Meh, this is for my fun only.

Previous:

When we crossed the lake, I heard Daphne comment, "You know, Hermione would be a natural Slytherin."

5 Sorted.

"Why, thank you for the compliment, Daphne," I said when I turned at her, "I still prefer Ravenclaw though, that way I will avoid the Weasel, no matter where he ends up. You would have thought Dumbledore hired someone smarter than him, perhaps there was not much to choose from to start with."

Tracey commented, "There are not many with money trouble in our year to choose from. Crabbe and Goyle don't count, they are in Malfoy's pocket for years. Judging on the Muggleborn's clothes, maybe one or two fit the bill, but judging by their faces they wouldn't accept that offer."

Daphne nodded, "That is right, but now that Weasley burned his cover, Dumbledore will need to find someone else. I'll bet he will wait to pick a new one from the House you are going to be sorted in."

Daphne grinned and teased, "Hey, Hermione, would you be willing to be Harry's minder for a Galleon a month? That is a lot of money isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes and answered, "Maybe if he offers me a book each month, but then again, I have plenty of those and I haven't read the Hogwarts Library yet."

Harry changed the subject, "It is quite the view, isn't it? That makes a big first impression if you have never seen it before, maybe that is why Sirius showed us the castle in his Pensieve."

Tracey nodded, "It is impressive, you are right about Sirius too, the Castle is radiating Power and Magic, this way we would be awed by the Professors, they will make use of that power to get dominance over us."

Tracey is the most tactical of our group, she has the talent to be coldly analyzing all the viewpoints and expose the bare facts. I can do that too, but only because I know the story. Anyway, we reached the other side.

Xxxxx

As the perfect Heir of a Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter, Harry helped us disembark the boats, he held my hand longer than appropriate, but I did not complain, as a matter of fact, it was quite enjoyable, and it got me plenty of jealous looks. Hah! I Rule! Bow to me, my Minions! Hmm, now I am channeling Grandpa, that is disturbing.

Hagrid pounded on the door and waited for McGonagall to open the door, with a straight face he told her, "The first-year students, Deputy Headmistress, all accounted for."

Hmm? Trouble in paradise? It was big news when Harry's home situation came out and Hagrid's part in it was exposed, I bet he is still mad at Minnie for supporting Dumbledore's decision to place him there.

Minnie nodded with a stiff face, "Thank you, Mr. Hagrid, students come inside."

We entered the castle, once inside, she made her speech, "Welcome to Hogwarts, in a few moments
you will be sorted into one of the four Houses, they are Griffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and… Slytherin. Once sorted, this will be your home for the next seven years, you will find that you make lifelong friendships while you study here. Wait here until I will come back to get you."

Before she could turn I asked, "Deputy Headmistress? Is it difficult to cast a drying Spell? Or does casting that spell take a long time?"

McGonagall looked at me, "No, Miss Granger, why do you ask?"

I pointed at the Weasel, "Because he could use one, or do you want him to be the joke of the evening?"

McGonagall looked at Weasley who was standing at the back, dripping wet, she waved her wand, and looked sternly at me, "I don't like the way you addressed me, Miss Granger, mind your manners."

I nodded sagely, "I'll try, Deputy Headmistress, My Magical Guardian Lord Black urged me to do that too. My excuse is that I spent last school year in a class with seventeen-year-old students, they spoiled me a bit."

Take that, Minnie! In one sentence I slapped the Guardian Dog and my higher education in her face. She knows now that I can handle pressure. With a stiff upper lip, Minnie turned and moved away.

Blaise came next to me and asked, "Marking the borders already, Hermione? Did you see McGonagall twitch her face when you mentioned Lord Black? They must have some history between them."

I answered loud enough for everyone to hear, "They were both in Dumbledore's Secret Order of The Phoenix fighting Voldemort, and they abandoned him without even asking him to explain himself. Then they hired a Death Eater here to teach potions while Lord Black was rotting in Azkaban. Lord Black was quite bitter about that."

It was amusing to see everyone flinch at the name Voldemort, even the new kids started to look worried when they saw the locals shiver and sometimes scream when they heard that name.

That moment the Ghosts did a fly-by, an annual tradition to spook the firsties, it is probably one of the few pleasures they have. The Friar was a friendly one who did the talking, "All those young faces, I hope to see a few in Hufflepuff. My House of choice."

McGonagall's voice came from behind me before I could open my mouth, "Move along, the sorting is about to begin. Students, follow me, straighten your clothes first."

Xxxxx

Harry held my hand when we entered the Great Hall, he told me, "The ceiling is charmed to resemble the outside sky, it said so in Hogwarts, a History."

I grumbled, "You are stealing my answers, Harry, I should never have loaned my book to you."

Harry bumped my shoulder with his', "I am glad you did though, oh, and those everlasting candles never drip! Ah, Hermione, watching your face twitch when I do that is fun. No way! You were right about a Sorting Hat?"

I grinned evilly, "I bet it will sing a song too. Prepare to show your boxers, Harry, I hope they are blue like my knickers."

Harry shrugged, "Nope, a black one, maybe I will cast blue sparks, or sing a smart song."

When Hatty ended with his Thinking Cap and the applause ended, Hannah was the first to wear the Hat. It took a while, I guess he got updated with the current events in the outside world, "Hufflepuff!" Was the first one, Susan followed Hannah to the Puffs, Tracey Davis was an important test to see if I changed Canon enough. Daphne would sort in the same house as Tracey, they are two peas in a pod, sworn sisters, and I guess lesbians or at least Bi-Sexual. The Hat took a long time to decide, finally, he shouted, "Ravenclaw!"

Harry looked at me and asked, "Our destination too, I suppose?"

I nodded, "Yep, the House of the smarty-pants. You know that the most cunning sort out of Slytherin to hide their cunning and mask their ambition. Ravenclaw is perfect for that."

Daphne got her resolve back with my words, "You are right, we will make it perfect for us."

My turn came up, Hatty got placed on my head and I felt it sift through my memories, I thought to Hatty; °Ravenclaw, please. If you saw everything, put Harry there too.°

°Hmm…° contemplated Hatty, ° I never thought I would be used in a children's story like that. The story took a nasty turn at the end.°

I sighed, °Tell me about it, I would end up with that Baboon, probably dosed to the gills with Amortentia thanks to Dumbledore and Molly bloody Weasley.°

Hatty commented, °Dumbledore has plans for the Potter boy, are you going to stop him?°

I thought about my answer, °The first steps are already taken, You have to decide where your loyalty is, at Hogwarts or Dumbledore. No, they are not the same and you know it. Daphne and Harry in Ravenclaw, Malfoy in Griffindor, the Weasel in Slytherin, and Goyle in Hufflepuff. That will disturb the plans of Dumbledore and Malfoy. Maybe that will change Slytherin for the better. Oh, let Blaise choose for himself, please.°

Hatty frowned his seam, °It will upset them alright. Will it solve the problems is another question.°

My answer was, °It will be a hundred times better than what was in the books, don't you think? Harry is at least happier to be away from the Dursleys. If you search his mind you will find that Harry is very intelligent, being in Ravenclaw is not a shame.°

Hatty made the decision, °We will try it your way, Heiress Dagworth-Granger. Yes, you are one, but I will keep it quiet.° "Better be RAVENCLAW!"

Tracey asked, "You had a long talk with that Hat, Hermione, did it tell you something interesting?"

I nodded, "He needed a good cleaning, after being on Crabbe's head, he was lucky that the Davis girl took the bugs with her… I am joking! Tracey!" I said while covering her mouth to stop her scream. "I am sure he washed his head this morning."

Crabbe did me no favor when he scratched his head that very moment, Tracey filled her lungs for another scream and rubbed her hands through her hair, "Get them off me! GET THEM OFF!"

The fifth-year prefect was following our conversation and spelled Tracey's hair back in order.

"Calm down, Miss Davis," she said, "My spell removed all the insects from your head, I will show the spell to you later. We had questions about the hygiene of the sorting before and learned that spell to ease your minds."

Tracey glared at me, "That was not funny, Granger, you put thoughts in my mind for several nightmares. Daphne! Hermione bullied me!"

Daphne sat next to Tracey, "What did she do, Trace? Do we have to punish her?"

Tracey grinned, "She does need a spanking, telling me I got Crabbe's bugs in my hair was mean, that needs punishment."

Daphne looked at me, "That was mean indeed, Tracey was right after Crabbe…" Daphne gasped and started to rub her hands through her hair, "I was behind Goyle! Get them of me! GET THEM OFF!"

The prefect rolled her eyes and cast her spell again, "If there were any, Miss Greengrass they are gone now."

I protested, "Hey! I was after Goyle!…" Son of a Bitch! "Get them off me! GET THEM OFF!"

Tracey giggled after the bugs got spelled away from me, "That was so satisfying, Hermione, I will waver your punishment this time. Ah, Neville is up next."

Another surprise was Neville, after a long talk with the Hat, he got sorted in Hufflepuff, with a smile he sat between Hannah and Susan.

Malfoy got the shock of his life, "GRIFFINDOR!" Malfoy didn't move, the colors of his robes turned red and gold, slowly he stood up while I started applauding for the boy, one by one others joined the applause, pale… More pale he moved to the Griffindor table and sat down next to Finnegan, still dazed with Hatty on his head.

McGonagall came to her senses and pulled Hatty from Draco's head, and called the Patil twins, Padma got in Ravenclaw, surprisingly so did Parvati. Her comment, "Seven years with Draco would make me insane, besides, Potter will sort in here."

The Prefect asked, "How do you know that if I may ask?"

Parvati pointed her finger at me, "Because the future Mrs. Potter is sitting there."

"RAVENCLAW!" shouted Hatty.

Parvati grinned, "See? Told you so! I saw enough at Harry's birthday party. Hey Harry, Hermione saved you a spot."

Hatty did some sorting of his own, to their horror, Morag McDougal and Lisa Turpin were sorted in Griffindor to ease the burden in the Ravenclaw dorm. They sat across Draco, who was still shaking his head in disbelief. He was so sure he would sort in Slytherin, what went wrong?

The Weasel shook the Great Hall up, when Hatty called, "SLYTHERIN!"

"I AM NOT A SLIMY SNAKE!" he shouted! "I HAVE TO BE IN RAVENCLAW!… BECAUSE POTTER IS THERE!"

That was Weasley kissing his good grades and his Galleon a month goodbye by the look on Dumbledore's face. Snape didn't look that happy either. Blaise took a risk and sorted in Slytherin, we will do our best to keep our friendship though, why on Earth he want to be next to Weasley I don't know. Ah! They have private rooms down there. That will save him from the Weasel's snoring.

Xxxxx

When the food appeared on the table, Penny Clearwater, our fifth-year prefect sighed, "This was one confusing Sorting. A Malfoy in Griffindor and a Weasley in Slytherin, that is like the end of the world, cats and dogs living together, total mayhem."

I shrugged, "I don't mind cats and dogs living together, as long they don't produce offspring. That would be nasty."

Harry chuckled, "What would they look like Hermione? Can you guess?"

I thought about it and answered, "Perhaps like Griffins, or Hippogrifs, maybe like Centaurs."

Harry groaned, "Hermione! Don't put something like that in my head! My appetite is almost over now."

One by one the others got the picture... The Nasty Picture in their head, all eyes focused on me, when I noticed it, I asked, "What? That is a logical assumption is it not? How else did they come into existence?"

Daphne shuddered, "To be honest, I don't Want to know."

I grinned at Daphne, "But Daphne, as a Ravenclaw I strife to seek out all the questions so I can answer them."

Daphne shook her head while she filled her plate, "Some questions are meant never to be answered, Hermione. Now be quiet while I still have some appetite left."

Xxxxx

Dumbledore's speech was a bit bland, no certain Death on the third floor, the Forbidden Forest is still Forbidden, and the list of Filch got longer. He even forgot the school song. You could tell his heart was not in it, I bet he fears Molly's Howler tomorrow.

Penny guided us upstairs, and explained the does and donts on the way, when we arrived at the door of the common room, she said, "To get in, you have to answer a riddle, if you are alone the riddle will be easy, a large group like this will get a difficult riddle, try to solve it if you can."

The doorknocker asked, "What is the answer to the Ultimate Question?"

Oh, I know this one, I answered, "The Answer is 42! Although some perverts claim it is 69."

The door opened and sighed, "If I knew the answer I would not opening doors here."

At the questioning looks I said, "Ask Miss Clearwater why 69 is the answer."

Blushing, Penelope Clearwater said, "That is handled in your fourth year, not a day sooner."

Parvati asked, "Why in our fourth year, Miss Clearwater?"

Penny answered, "Because I will be graduated by then, and don't have to explain it to you. Girls your dorms are this way."

Penny guided us to our rooms and told us, "The rooms are doubles, you choose with who you want to bunk up, there are seven of you, one has a room for herself or will share with two others."

I raised my hand, "I don't mind sleeping alone, I have to study my Normal education at night so I won't disturb anyone."

Mandy Brocklehurst asked, "What Muggle studies do you need if you have Magic?"

I answered, "I am studying two courses independently for Oxford and two for Cambridge, both Mathematics and Chemistry in preparation for my Astrophysics when I get my OWLS."

Penelope Clearwater asked, "Oxford and Cambridge Universities? You are following Courses at Oxford and Cambridge?"

I nodded, "I got scholarships offered from both, I would be there if not for the mandatory education at Hogwarts. They told me they would bind my Magic if I didn't study here."

Penny pointed to the single room, "Take that one, Miss Granger, I am homeschooling Secondary Grade, can I consult you if I have questions?"

"Sure, that is no problem at all," I answered, "I am studying in my room every night from eight to eleven."

Once in my room, I unpacked, I was prepared to get sorted in Slytherin, so I had a set of wardstones ready to be deployed, you know, the kind you find in Fan Fictions, against evil intent and stuff like that. I might as well install them here.

When everything was set, I lay down in my bed, it finally hit me, I was in bloody Hogwarts! The most unsafe place in the Harry Potter world! Damn! I forgot to check if Quirrell is still teaching here. I did not notice someone with a turban, I bet Dumbledore did not risk it to allow Voldemort to teach here now that his job is insecure. Not to mention that mysterious guy who messed his plans up. Meh, I'll worry about it tomorrow.

Xxxxx

At the breakfast table, Flitwick handed our schedules, when he handed them all out he said, "The first week Miss Clearwater and Mark Stafford, the fifth-year Prefects, will guide you to your classes, please be early so they can reach their class on time too."

I raised my hand, "Professor, is there a map of the school available? If the classrooms are marked we could find our way easier."

Flitwick nodded, "There must be one in the common room library, maybe you can ask a NEWT student to make some copies for you. Enjoy your classes."

We finished breakfast while observing the other tables, Blaise seemed to have a good time with Nott and Crabbe, Weasley sat a bit isolated but I blamed his table manners for that. Goyle looked a bit lost with the puffs, some of his classmates tried to include him in their conversations, but he will probably be OK. Malfoy… he kept his nose down, Harry told me that after Sirius got Lord Black and made Harry his Heir, Draco lost most of his bragging rights and got his feet back on the ground.

Neville was thriving in Hufflepuff, which is mostly Hannah's doing, that girl gave him loads of confidence and it showed. With Susan, they made a good team. That leaves me with Daphne, Tracey, Harry, and me, I use Daphne as my meat shield most of the time to prevent Harry from focusing completely on me, she is a pretty girl with a good sense of humor, how she got that Ice Princess persona from the Fan Fictions I don't want to know, Slytherin is not a female friendly environment.

That moment the owls flew in, some carried newspapers, some carried packages, ah! One scruffy owl carried a red letter. Molly Weasley nee Prewitt let her voice bellow through the Great Hall, "RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY! WAS IT THAT HARD TO SORT IN THE SAME HOUSE AS THE POTTER BOY? HOW DARE YOU TO SORT IN SLYTHERIN! YOU KNOW THEY ARE ALL EVIL! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! I WILL TAN YOUR HIDE! Fred, you forgot to pack your underwear, I will send them tomorrow after I have washed them."

I commented, "Now even I am feeling sorry for the Baboon. Well, we know who told him to be Harry's best mate."

Xxxxx

Our first class! History with the Puffs! Yeah, first thing in the morning we got Bins. When he floated in, he took his ghostly book and started reciting that damn book word for word, I already memorized it, so I spent my time looking around to the others, they all had trouble staying awake. Neville had a glazed look on his face, Susan was snoring, Daphne leaned against Harry and used him as a hugging pillow. That is not normal, not on the first period of the day.

I went in front of Bins to get his attention, he looked up and said, "Go back to your seat Miss… go back to your seat."

I said "Sir, do you realize that you are hypnotizing your students asleep? How do you expect them to learn from you when you put them in a trance? You are a teacher I hope. Look around you! They can hardly keep their eyes open! I want to learn about the History of our ancestors! Merlin, Paracelsus, the Druids, the war wizards of the Roman Empire, The Egyptian Pharaohs!"

Bins looked a bit dazed, I pushed further, "Sir if you care enough to keep teaching as a Ghost after you died, why are you preventing us from learning from you? Shouldn't you just stay dead and move On? What is the point of you being here if you don't even teach us a thing? Is it to punish us? What did we do to you to deserve this?"

Bins shook his head, "I've been teaching for years this way, young girl, go back to your seat."

I did not give up, "Then you have been sabotaging the Wizarding World, professor Bins. You are committing a crime against Magic itself, putting students in a trance is not teaching, be honest with yourself, would your parents be proud of the way you are teaching? Would they be looking at you from the beyond with love or be ashamed of your behavior?"

I think I got through Bins' thick Ghostly skull, "I bet they only let you keep teaching to collect your paycheck and prevent students from learning our true History. You, sir, are not a real teacher, you are only good at putting children to sleep. You prevent us from learning from the past, that is why there are so many Dark Lords this Century! Maybe it is time for you to move On, sir. There has been enough time for them to find a replacement, go, your Parents are waiting for you."

The class was dead silent when Bins faded away, after a few minutes, Antony Goldstein asked, "Miss Granger, did you just kill a Ghost?"

I shook my head, "Nope, he was already dead, I merely told him to go to the afterlife. He wasn't doing much here anyway. Even I had to fight to stay awake in class and it is morning."

Tracey joked, "Hermione, keep the next one alive please."

Harry sighed, "You won the bet, Hermione. You will be the first to visit the Headmaster. I'll contact Sirius with the mirror… what do I tell him? That you got rid of Bins?"

Daphne came to her senses, "Hermione! That was great! Can you do another one? We have a pesky Ghost at home that keeps on bothering me, maybe you can let her move On too."

Mandy Brocklehurst chuckled, "Hermione is a true Ghostbuster! Who do you gonna call? Hermione!"

Terry Booth commented, "Now we are without a teacher, that will hamper our education. Merlin knows how long it takes to find a new one."

I shrugged, "He was reciting the textbook word for word, how is he moving on hampering you? Read the book, that way you are still awake at the end of the class."

Padma asked, "How did you know he was reciting the textbook, Hermione?"

Harry answered that, "She probably memorized all her textbooks, ah, Sirius answered, Sirius!… Good morning Sirius, can you get ready to come here? No, not yet, but it won't be long, Hermione just convinced Bins that it was time to move On… She can be very persuasive you know that! Well, he was putting us asleep mostly, Hermione took offense to that. I know she won the bet, how would I know she could talk a Ghost into the afterlife? Hermione, Sirius wants to talk to you."

I sighed, took the mirror, and looked at a laughing Sirius, "Good morning, Lord Black,"

Sirius was hiccuping, "Your first day at school and you vanished a Professor? I am so proud of you! That is one for the record books!"

I nodded, "And it will give me a visit to the Headmaster no doubt. Can you come when we call you?"

Sirius smiled, "That is the job of a Magical Guardian, Hermione, that is what I signed up for. Don't worry, I will inform our allies. Besides, it was time that Ghost moved On. He was putting people asleep for almost a Century, we won't miss him."

Xxxxx

Mark Stafford was waiting at the door to guide us to the next class, when he looked at our faces he said, "Come on! He is not that bad, Ghosts are not all evil, you know, not the Hogwarts Ghosts anyway."

The Puff prefect added, "We know it is hard to stay awake, but you will find out how to cope with it."

Susan shrugged, "We don't have to, Bins moved On to the afterlife. He was useless anyway, he just recited the textbook."

Stafford said, "Come again? Bins moved on? How did that happen?"

A Puff, I guess he is Zachariah Smith, answered, "Granger happened, she talked to Bins until he escaped to the afterlife."

Hmm? Did that little shit give me a backhanded insult? I will kick his ass!

The puffs went to Herbology and us claws to Charms, I went to Flitwick to do some damage control, "Sir, what will happen if someone convinced a Ghost to move on to the afterlife? That is a blessing for the Ghost, isn't it? His Soul would find peace and happiness don't you think so?"

Flitwick nodded, "Most Ghosts are afraid to move on to the afterlife and stay on Earth, as a mere reflection of their previous self. Some said it is a cursed existence. Why do you ask that… ah, you had History today."

Harry added, "Professor, Hermione noticed that Professor Bins was hypnotizing us and putting us all in a trance, she called Professor Bins out on that and berated him for sabotaging our education, she convinced Professor Bins to move On to the afterlife… which he did."

Flitwick's head snapped to me, "Miss Granger, you talked to Professor Bins and made him move On to the Hereafter?"

I nodded, "He was not a professor, Professor Flitwick, you could call him at most a parrot, he was reciting the textbook word for word with a hypnotizing cadence, and putting us all in a trance. I called him out on that," I commented, "Besides, we do not pay good money for that kind of education. I was five years old the last time I needed someone to read my book out loud."

Flitwick said some words in Goblin talk, I bet it was a curse, and said, "I will report this to the faculty at Lunch. Excuse me, I have to go to the History class."

Tracey sing-songed, "~Hermione is in trouble~"