Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., It's all yours, I am just messing around with it. For free of course.

AN: I went too far in the last chapter, so I cut down a scene and let them stop a bit earlier. My excuse? I read too many smutty stories that week. I know, it is a lame excuse, but that is all I got.

Previous:

Neville sighed, "Thanks for the demonstration, Hermione, that was so hot to see, I learned a lot, but I think I'll keep it at kissing if you don't mind."

That night, Daphne and Tracey visited me in my room, Daphne asked, "Hermione? Can you teach us to kiss before we kiss Harry for the first time?"

9 Hormones.

I sighed, what do those girls expect from me? I totally forgot myself with Tonks, it was as if I was back in my eighteen-year-old body snogging Tonks's tonsils out, I completely lost control but damn it felt good.

"I can teach you how to kiss," I answered, "but be honest Daphne and Tracey, I bet you already practiced it on each other, isn't it? What do you want to learn from me? What Tonks and I have done? Let me tell you a story, Daphne, I am in the body of a twelve-year-old girl, but I have the mentality of an adult. Last school year I spent with seventeen-year-old students and that mindset is still lingering inside of me. Tonks and I went too far with that demonstration."

I looked at them, "Believe me, you better go slow on Harry. Be his friend first, the last thing he needs is two girls acting as if they are married and going all possessive on him. So if you want to practice kissing, do it with Harry as friends, not as girlfriends or wives."

I raised my hand to stop their protests, "Let me tell you something about human nature, we developed from hunters and gatherers to the people we are today, a process that lasted a few hundred thousand years, only in the last twenty thousand years we started to herd animals and later on started farming. Which means our primal instincts are still in the Hunter mentality."

Puzzled, Tracey asked, "What does that have to do with us?"

I smiled, "I am getting there, don't worry. You see, we developed from small family groups that followed the wildlife, which means that girls looked for partners outside the family group to prevent inbreeding. That is the cliche of falling in love with the tall handsome stranger from a lot of romantic stories. What I am trying to tell you, is you will very likely fall in love with a boy outside your group."

Daphne shook her head, "We are far enough apart, Hermione, at least six generations, so there is no inbreeding between us, neither is it with Tracey. To us, Harry is that handsome Stranger. Dad said he will grow taller when his potions cure is done," she sighed, "We practiced kissing a few times, but how do we know we did it right? Besides, you are Harry's girl too, chances are that we are going to be sister wives in the future."

I sighed, "Boys of our age are not looking for wives, Daphne, they want to have friends and have fun, they want to learn about girls, they are curious, but if you go all possessive on them they get scared off and drop you like a brick, keep in mind that Harry is almost a year younger then us."

I grinned, "Imagine, what would you do if Harry demanded to have a baby with you? After all, you are going to marry him, that is what married couples do, isn't it? You will have to stay at home to raise the babies, of course, he has to repopulate House Potter, so a dozen babies to start with, six each."

I laughed, "At your horrified faces I deduct you are not ready yet to have babies. Well, Harry is not ready to have fiancees or girlfriends. He needs friends though, if those friends want to know what kissing feels like they may try it out on him."

I faced Daphne, took her in my arms, and gave her a peck on her lips, "Take it slow, Daphne, we have seven years ahead of us, there is no need to shag Harry the first week of school. So the first year small kisses like this and the hands on safe places, next year the same, don't pressure him, and in our third year, you can start dating him and start snogging. Tonks only has one year left and will give a crash course to Harry."

I took a handful of hair and pulled her closer, "But, if you want to practice kissing on me, you are always welcome for a session."

An hour later, they left my room a bit more educated, will they practice on Harry? Meh, he can use some positive attention, even when he is not ready for the works.

Xxxxx

Sirius found a Potion Master from the other side of the pond, a Canadian… not a true one, he escaped Britain when he was hunted by the Death Eaters in the first war, and took this opportunity to come back. He starts on Monday. That news was met with a lot of cheering from three Houses and silent cheers from the fourth House.

Minnie sobered up and revoked her resignation, she will stay a bit longer. We will give her a chance to redeem herself, a second chance, forgiveness, do a Dumbledore as we call it.

Things I have to avoid: Walking the hallways alone. I am NR1 Target to get abused, a smart Normal that is best friends with the Boy Who Lived, I would be the chew-toy for the Senior Slytherins, I bet Snape would go after me if he had the chance.

Harry knew I was targeted and stayed close by my side with Daphne and Tracey, our group expanded with the Patils, and in our free periods with the Puffs, Neville, Susan, and Hannah. By the look on Neville's face, they practiced kissing already, Puffs are scary.

The first weekend, Tonks acted as our tour guide, she showed us all the landmarks and secret spots and what or who to watch out for, she pointed the Weasel Twins out, "Those are the current jokers, they think they are funny when they prank other Houses, they cross the lines a lot."

Hmm, I have to nip that in the bud, I went to them and made them an offer, "Twins, let's make a deal, see that group with Tonks? Well, they are off-limits for your jokes. In return, I will sponsor your Joke shop when you graduate, I am talking four figures, guys."

One of them asked, "Why do you think we want to have a joke shop, little firstie?"

I shrugged, "That was the Marauders' dream when they were at Hogwarts, they too were up to no good and caused a lot of mischief before they were done. Just like you, Padfoot crossed the lines and caused hurt and sorrow."

The other one gasped, "You know Padfoot? Do you know who the other three are? They are our heroes!"

I nodded, "I know them all, I can tell you that the son of Prongs is a firstie. Guys, if you want to have customers other than Griffindors, you better make your jokes funny, and not humiliating or need a visit to the Hospital Wing. If you must know, Slytherins have the most money, why would you make potential customers an enemy? Think about it."

I went back to Harry, "Mischief managed, Harry, they won't bother us."

Harry got curious, and softly asked, "You think they have the map, Hermione?"

I nodded, "They do, I set them on the right track. We have to keep them curious about the Marauders though, keep their identities a secret, it will drive them nuts not knowing."

I put my arm on Neville's shoulder and asked, "Longbottom, did those two Puffs practice their kissing skills on you already? Ah! You are blushing! They did?"

Hannah protested, "Hey! Go and harass Harry or snog Tonks!"

Parvati was puzzled, "Snog Tonks? Why would she do that?"

That triggered a whispering, giggling pile of girls, I softly said to Neville, "Neville, do you feel the need to run away too? Especially now that Tonks is in that group spilling details?"

Neville patted my back, "Relax, Hermione, it is just about some harmless kissing."

Since when did he get balls of brass? He used to be a timid bloke! I blame those two Puffs!

Xxxxx

Well, life goes on, our Potion Professor Adam Savage became popular overnight, a few days of teaching was enough to convince everyone to attend his class, he spent two hours explaining the theory behind brewing and ingredient preparation, the proper way to set up a brewing session, and how and why to stir the potion.

A fifth-year summed it up, "I learned more about Potions in a single class with Professor Savage than whatever Snape was doing in his classroom in four years. Thank you, Miss Granger, we are in your debt."

Yeah, great, now I have a mortal enemy, if looks could kill, I would be dead right now. Snape was not happy, he lost half of his Slytherins to Savage and it was all my fault! The only ones loyal to Snape were his Slytherin NEWT students, all five of them.

Meh, he can go and fuck himself.

Another who is becoming my next Mortal Enemy is Quirrell, that man keeps on harping about the dangers of Muggles and we should get rid of them, I got tired of his rants and replied, "Yes, sir, Normals are dangerous, keep treating them like fools and you will notice that they are smarter than you. It is time the Magic world stops pretending to see them like smart monkeys. The Wizarding world went into hiding because they were kicking our ass back then, and they are a hundred times more dangerous now. Fighting them is suicide."

Quirrell glared at me, "There is nothing that can compare to a Wizard's Magic, Miss Granger, if we want we could eradicate the Muggle World with a few spells"

I shrugged, "Normals have developed a bomb that can flatten a city the size of London with ease, Professor. What have the Wizards done? Using Imperio to let normals kill themselves is not a skill, is it? Fight the Normals and we will be eradicated within the year. The Statute of Secrecy is not to protect the normals from us but to protect us from the normals. The Magic World could do with a bit of humility."

Yep, Mortal Enemy. One thing is clear, he doesn't have Tom in his head and somehow it makes him more dangerous to me. It makes me wonder where he is hiding and makes me wonder when we can go safely after the Horcruxes.

Xxxxx

Othello has more to do lately, Mum and Dad are Owling me a lot, they are still baffled by sending letters to me by Owl, it shows they miss me though, their little girl spread her wings and left the nest. You don't buy it? Nah, neither am I. Dad needs my Stock market info so he is sending me the financial papers to analyze, Mum is fishing for some skin care potions and Magical beautification tricks.

I replied to Dad and sometimes used him to publish a paper with my theories and calculations, you know, just to stay in touch with the real World. I still feel I am wasting my time here, I can homeschool all of this in my spare time.

Another headache is Sinistra, our Astronomy Professor, I keep on clashing with her teachings, my view on the Galaxy is the opposite of hers; as the Centaurs say, Mars is Red today, something I could predict without looking at it. Harry and Daphne were the ones that stopped my discussions with Sinistra, both of us refused to back down and kept the other students awake, still, I think she likes me.

McGonagall you ask? After she got sober she apparently did some soul searching, and quit her Deputy Headmistress gig, a smart move, that way she could stop doing Dumbledore's job, something she was at for twenty or more years. She doesn't like me though, I have yet to receive a single point from the bitch.

The Headmaster is on probation, his stunt of using House Elves to spy on Heirs of important Houses is biting him in the ass. He had to use his last favors to stay on his throne. He doesn't like me though. Somehow he blames me for his streak of bad luck, he keeps on giving me his Grandfatherly disappointed head shakes, I respond by scratching my nose and forehead with my middle finger.

Flitwick likes me, I am the first to cast every spell, although I suspect Harry waits for me to cast it first to stay out of the spotlights, with me tutoring the rest of my classmates it made me his favorite person… until he heard I tutored them about the Lion and the Eagle to make a Griffon, he is holding his judgment for now.

Sprout does not know what to think of me, I know all the answers, but it seems I hate to dig in the dirt or care for plant life, on top of that I am leading her Puffs astray! I turned Tonks to the Dark Side! Her loyal Puff started to corrupt the firsties! Just yesterday she saw Hannah holding hands with Neville! Agreed, she was pulling him up when he slipped and fell on his butt, where there is smoke there is fire, and smoke was coming out of Neville's ears… Sprout doesn't like me.

Hagrid? He blames me that Harry hates him, as if it was my fault he took Harry away from Sirius and delivered him to the Dursleys. He did get a wake-up call when we explained why he is a mindless puppet for Dumbledore, we shattered his worldview when we explained that Dumbledore could get him exonerated the moment he was Headmaster, Chief Warlock, and the Supreme Mugwump. Meh, he can fuck Madame Maxime for all I care.

Xxxxx

Now I have a couple of Puffs educated on some of the facts of life. On Saturday after dinner, we gathered in the ROR, our group, and the new additions, the Patils. I took control of the ROR and started my lecture.

"You are all skilled in kissing, no doubt," I started, according to the blushes they do, "today's lecture is about what will happen if you move too fast, I am talking about making babies. Yes, once you start having your monthlies you can get pregnant. To say it crudely, if you bleed you are ready to breed."

I grinned, "No, you can't escape, I vanished the door. Why this lecture you ask? Well, you are moving too fast! I admit Tonks and my demonstration did not help much to prevent that, also Neville and Harry are desirable hunks, that will encourage you to move faster before a skank steals them away. We are here to discuss the risks, there are plenty of those, first, what is the optimal age to get pregnant? Anyone?"

Padme answered, "My parents expect us to have our first child a year after our marriage, we are bound to marry after we graduate. If we can not find a husband before that, they will find one for us whether we like them or not."

Daphne nodded, "That is what will happen to all of us, if you are not married before twenty they will think something is wrong with you. Not a lot of women can stand the pressure. Aunty Amelia was newly married when her husband got killed by Death Eaters, she never remarried and raised Susan. They expect our first child as soon as possible."

I shook my head, "That was not my question, what is the optimal age to get pregnant?"

Harry raised his hand, when I raised an eyebrow, he said, "Between twenty and thirty, we are fully grown when we reach our twenties."

I smiled, "Close enough, every girl can get pregnant after her first monthly at ten, eleven, twelve, or thirteen, but it is not safe for them to do so. When your body is not fully grown, the child will take nutrients from you that you need to grow, if you can not provide those nutrients, the baby will suffer defects, born prematurely is one of them. It can ruin your body too, a difficult delivery can damage your uterus and make you infertile."

In Britain the Normals court in steps, only kisses before fourteen, some fondling and exploring until sixteen, and practice shagging until you are ready for that baby in your twenties. If you cut some corners, you can safely get a baby at eighteen, before that, there are risks for complications for you and your baby."

I turned to Harry and Neville, "No matter how eager the girls are to claim you, keep your hands above the clothes and your pecker in the pants until you are fourteen."

Then I grinned, "I had the pleasure to sit through Mum's Talk, last year and I brought some of her books along and I am happy to share them with you, especially the one with pictures of premature babies. As a medical student, she got access to the good stuff. No! The door stays hidden!"

Tonks shuddered when the ROR projected the pictures on a wall, "Hermione, that is mean of you, they will be scarred for life!"

I shrugged, "Susan and Hannah were moving too fast, Tonks. Neville is craving attention and they delivered, if I don't stop that, they will be shagging at thirteen and have kids at fourteen. Even Daphne and Tracey were heading that way. Harry doesn't have experience dealing with friends or girls either, I was his only friend until Amelia Bones got him away from the Dursleys."

Tonks commented, "You know there are spells to prevent pregnancies, do you?"

I looked at her and asked, "What else do those spells do, Tonks? How many families with one or two children are there? What if those spells stop the egg production? Or make almost all of the eggs infertile? Did your Mum want to stop after one kid?"

At Tonks' horrified face, I added, "I read children conceived under the influence of love potions have emotional issues going from rage to being devoid of emotions, what about children from damaged eggs? The cause of squibs maybe? The farmers in the fifties used to cover their fields with strong insecticides, all the bugs were dead, but it affected humans too. The poison came into our body and one of the first victims was the babies growing in that body. A faulty spell could do the same."

Tonks shook her head, "Our healers would have found out about it ages ago. Isn't it time to stop those pictures? Everyone lost their dinner, it was thoughtful of you to provide buckets though."

I concentrated and stopped the show, a bit later the puke vanished, Tonks filled a pitcher with augiamenti and gave glasses of water to everyone.

The girls glared at me, Daphne said, "Was that necessary, Hermione? We believed you without those pictures you know."

I nodded sagely, "I got to see them all last year, it is only fair you get to see them too. Snogging a girl is a safer option, don't you think? If you lose control there will be no babies as a consequence."

Tracey sighed, "That is true, but snogging a boy is different, it made me all tingly inside."

Tonks grinned, "Those are your hormones telling you to make a baby, Tracey! That is nature's call to populate the earth with a load of toddlers!"

I commented, "Those are the instincts from our hunting/gathering days, women rarely lived through forty and males seldom lived that long, so they started young, at thirteen or fourteen."

Harry shuddered, "I can tell you right now that I am not ready to be a Dad. It will take years to forget those pictures."

Neville sighed, "You made your point, Hermione. We will take it slow from now on, we will not go further than we are at now."

Parvati tried to lighten the mood, "Let's play a game! I always wanted to do Spin the Bottle once, or Truth or Dare! I heard a few of my parent's employees talk about it in our store, they are Muggleborn and were bragging about it."

Daphne asked, "Explain the rules first, Parvati, what is in that bottle?"

Parvati smiled, "Nothing, Daphne, we sit in a circle and one spins a bottle, when that bottle stops spinning, he or she has to kiss the one that the bottle is pointing at."

I asked, "What if Harry's bottle points to Neville? I doubt they are kissing buddies."

Parvati shrugged, "They may ask for a volunteer to take Neville's place."

I pointed the next problem out, "What if your bottle points at me?"

Parvati grinned, "Then I will have a great snog according to the others. The kiss must last for at least ten seconds and with a full embrace."

Hmm, that little slut wants to kiss, in a way I am glad she is not in Griffindor, Lav-Lav would be here too. I doubt they are going to have fun kissing, I bet the taste of their vomit is still in their mouths.

Tonks, the spoilsport demonstrated a mouth-cleaning spell, she said, "I will not snog lips that taste like puke."

There goes my fun. Well, the next couple of hours were a bonding experience, I must have snogged everyone a couple of times, Harry and Neville were in seventh heaven, literally, there were seven girls, and they all got a turn or two. Neville, after spending years with his Gran and Grand Uncle got a taste of a new way of life and he loves it.

Harry too, has been friendless for years, he is enjoying every second of this, I noticed he shot his first load when he snogged me. I helped him out with a silent scourgify before I released him, the boy still got the hots for me.

To get him over his embarrassment, I gave him another snog, I softly said, "I'll take that as a compliment, Harry. I like you too."

Is that a confession? Maybe, but a boy shooting a load when he got a kiss will embarrass him, letting him know you like him anyway will help him to get over it. I remember my first-hand job with a boy, I took it in my hand and the boy lost it in a second, he avoided me after that.

Parvati got her share too, she clearly wanted more than a snog from me, she was rubbing my tits with both hands and pressed her lower body against mine, to cool her off, I undressed her until she was in her undies and turned her to the boys.

Standing behind her I cupped her boobs, "What do you think, Harry, do you want to see Parvati's tits? Neville? What do you think, this girl is craving to be admired, she is pretty isn't she?"

I whispered in Parvati's ear, "It is too soon for those kind of games, Parvati. Give it a few years and I will play with you. Come, let me help you put your clothes back on."

Padma was a gentle girl and a sweet kisser, Susan was a hungry one, eager to have a snog from me, so was Hannah, I think Daphne and Tracey tattled on me and what we practiced in my room.

Neville is a good snogger I must say, Susan and Hannah trained him well.

Xxxxx

We made it a Saturday after dinner tradition, until curfew we spent our time in the ROR, sometimes playing games, sometimes just relaxing or reading the books the ROR provided. We helped Tonks practice for her NEWTS too, slowly it turned from The Talk from Tonks into a group of friends that occasionally played a naughty game.

Our spells improved a lot, in that room, training dummies are a good tool to cast our more dangerous spells on, it saves us visits to the hospital wing. It was an eye-opener to see Tonks let loose on the dummies and totally trash them, making my win over her fluke. Meh, it was a win, fair and square.

The weeks passed by quickly, I held my temper in class and moved in groups through the halls. I am still answering all the questions the others can't answer, I can tell it is pissing the purebloods off, especially Quirrell, I always manage to ridicule the pureblood cause with it.

Xxxxx

Halloween! I was curious if Quirrell would bring his Trolls into the castle. Classes were attended as normal… Why the fuck am I in Myrtles Toilet? How the hell did I get here? I groaned, something big and smelly smashed the door.