Sakura

by lilac haze

AU. Non-Canon. Time Travel. Please see inside for full warnings. Cross posted on Ao3. On his deathbed he was granted eternal peace and place to rest for all of time. Of course that was not appealing to him. Ever unpredictable to the end he had a counter offer. One that the Sage had to consider. In which Sakura's going to have a rough time. A really rough time.

10. Part Ten: Trials

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

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Warnings: Language, Violence, thoughts/references of/to self-harm/suicide, and more of Danzo being a piece of shit.

A/N:

Hello Reader!

Thank you for joining the next chapter of this story! Excited that you're here. Thank you for all your comments and your shows of support. I genuinely enjoy reading each and every one. Trust me, I wish there was a Minato POV. It would add more depth. But I don't want to write it. I'm barely making it through this story in all honesty just given how dark and heavy it is. I feel ike a Minato POV would be a special kind of torture. But hey must mean I'm doing something right if y'all aren't sick of all this.

I hope you let me know what you think of this chapter. Enjoy!

Until next time,

~L.H.

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Part 10: Trials

"I don't understand," she stared blankly into the green eyes of the tower before her. Her neck complained from the strain of maintaining the angle required to look up at him.

Masato grinned. It was all teeth. She surmised it was meant to be charming but missed its mark. It was much closer to what most would find intimidating.

"Dinner," he repeated, not to her benefit. "We can use that time to talk more about medicine, plants, greenhouses, poisons, antidotes, and the latest discoveries we've come across." His voice carried the innuendo his lips did not have the authority to speak. Because even he was not that bold.

"I'm behind on my reading, I'm afraid," her clone tried to push past the mountain wrapped in a shift of white, held together by a terracotta color belt around the middle. His hitai-ate was coiled around his left bicep in what could not be good for his circulation. He moved along with her, like the wall of a maze that just kept coming and coming and coming. She was no closer to escape. So she opened her mouth to force a way through. "Just like I'm behind on my rounds. Now if you'd excuse me, Naka-"

"Masato," he insisted firmly, peering down at her with his grin affixed to his face.

The clone bit back a sigh. She shoved a hand into the pocket of her white coat, all to hide the way her fist clenched. It begged her to create separation because being nice did her no favors.

"Masato-san." She turned her body to try to move past him but again, he was right there. It did not work. The clone did not need to breathe but she pushed air out of her nostrils forcibly. It was neither calming nor satisfying.

"So dinner? See you at seven?" He blinked shamelessly, completely indifferent to her churlishness. But she supposed that if it were not the case, he would not be in her way. Maybe she should have tried harder to be nice, like actually.

"I don't have the authority to speak on anything pertaining to the subject matter that has brought you to Konoha, Masato-san. I cannot meet with you in an official capacity-"

"Even better, let's meet in an unofficial capacity then," he flattened his palm on the wall behind her head. The appendage was nearly as big as it. She felt the vibration of his movement.

If he grabbed her, that would be the end of her. And that would be a massive, horrible, no-good scandal - one she was not even sure where Sakura, the original, would begin to explain.

"Fine," she snapped, at her wit's end. Decorum and appearances of etiquette were the furthest things from her mind. This was not how shadow clones were meant to be used. This was not the ideal use case for her kind. It was beyond her capabilities what Sakura asked of her, of them. "At seven. Meet me outside the hospital doors. Don't be late."

"I'll be there at seven." He pushed off the wall. He was beyond pleased with himself. If only punching him in the face would not come with repercussions. Repercussions that would surely undo months of hard work. "See you then, Sakura-san."

The clone glared at his retreating back. The humming tune got quieter and quieter until it was only playing in her head.

"Just great. What am I going to tell Sakura?" The clone asked the empty walls of her office right before groaning. She nearly ended her existence then and there by slapping her hand to her large forehead.

---

"This is creepy," Anko stared at her from her window, elbows pressing against the sill. She was in what had to be her pajamas but she was missing the sleep in her eyes and mussed hair. The table light was on, which pointed to the fact that Anko was studying which was incredibly concerning. It justified her unannounced check-in.

"Go to sleep," the clone said, wearing the visage of Loris. Sakura was pissed at her. So much so, that if it was not for the whole her-being-a-shadow-clone-thing, the clone was certain Sakura would have made it go in her stead to the evening that she was pressured into. But of course, she could not risk sending an elemental clone in case a Sharingan ratted her out or the other more likely scenario in which he noticed. Long story short. She drew the short straw: making sure Anko rested the night before the exam.

"I can't," Anko groaned, pulling at her hair that went past her shoulders. "Too much going on up here," she tapped her temple. "It's never happened before."

You don't say.

"Do you think warm milk will help?" The clone asked with a sigh. She did not eat or drink. This topic was quite beyond her scope of expertise. Which seemed to be the overarching theme of the day. A very long day.

Anko shook her head, slowly. "No. That will just make me have to pee. Not right away. But I'll spend the whole time wondering when I will have to pee. And that will stress me out. And then by the time I finally have to get up to pee-"

"Sorry, I asked." The clone brought a palm to her masked forehead. "Really, really sorry."

"Can't you just drug me?" Anko asked hopefully. She wiggled her fingers like spider legs. "With your chakra magic?" Her tone was layered in color. Some of it contained excitement at the prospect. "Or actual drugs? I'm sure you have the best kinds!"

"Remind me to talk to you about your willingness to subject yourself to things after this is all over. You don't have to try everything once, Anko-chan," the clone said with concern, cutting off each word with a pause.

"How else will I know if I like it or not?" Anko tilted her head to the side.

"Go to bed," the clone was two seconds away from growling. She pushed up from the windowsill just as Anko stepped back into her room, creating space. The Loris clone crossed her legs after she settled into the makeshift seat.

The Genin pulled her covers to her chin. "Can you read to me, Loris-sensei? That always has me fighting sleep." She rubbed her feet together under her covers just as a cricket did when it sang.

"We also need to work on your soft skills," the clone sighed for the umpteenth time, not bothering to take offense at the girl's harmless statement. Anko and Kakashi could partner up on this particular initiative. "Your brain needs rest from all of this. No reading."

"Well," Anko blew a raspberry. She stared at her ceiling blankly. Her finger tapped against the hand it rested on, antsy. "Can you tell me a story at least?"

"A story?" The clone blinked. "I can do that." She racked her brain debating if a memory of future Sakura or past Sakura was a good idea.

"I'm waiting," Anko reminded her with a sigh.

"Have you heard the Hime and the Pea?" The clone asked into the dark void.

"No," Anko answered.

"Settle in, it's a story," she heard the rustling of the sheets as Anko did just that. She waited for silence before she opened her mouth. "Once upon a time, there was a hime. Her name was Akira…."

---

She watched him chew. With his mouth open. Loudly. Making mouth sounds. As he chewed. With his mouth open. Loudly. Sakura stabbed her fork - because he was a dignitary on foreign soil so it had to be fancy - into the leafy greens of her salad. She was fixated on the spot between his brows, visualizing all the ways she could get him to stop making wet food sounds from his big, open mouth - she felt a gale of wind every time he breathed. Her personal favorite was shoving his partially eaten pork chop down his throat and watching him slowly suffocate.

Why was she here again? Oh, yeah. Peace. Prosperity. Growth. The warm and fuzzy things. Sakura shoved the piece of lettuce into her mouth. She chewed. She gnashed her teeth together. And even then she managed to keep her painted lips together.

"I like your moxie, Sakura-san," he smacked his lips. It did not sound too different from an exaggerated kiss.

It took everything to keep her eye from twitching. She had begged Inner to take her place but Inner had gone silent. It was the proverbial "Nobody home". Inner had abandoned her. Such were the beginnings of the end times.

"It's not just anyone who would do what you did back in the hospital the other day," he laughed - the sound was rough almost like rocks clattering from a cliff to their demise - at the memory as if it was something pleasant and jovial. Maybe it was for him. It was all one big joke and Konoha was the butt of it.

"I was merely following the precedent set by Suna, Masato-san," she finished chewing completely before speaking. Almost as if trying to teach him something, gently and through example. "Publicly accusing a whole division of a major shinobi village of being incompetent is not for those with queasy stomachs."

"It certainly is not," he smashed his lips. Pink gums and large white teeth filled her purview. "You're the only one who's been honest this whole trip, speaking your mind. Candid."

You don't know the half of it.

"While we're on the topic of candor," her emerald eyes narrowed in question. "Why did you do it?"

"It wasn't planned if that's what you mean," he wiped his greasy lip with the cloth napkin. The oil stain was facing up on the bunched-up ivory satin. She could not stop staring at it. "But then Glasses kept going on and on about Konoha-this, Konoha-that-"

"Sada-san," she cut him off matter-of-factly at his disrespect for everyone and everything that pledged allegiance to the village whose soil he was on. "Sada-san was just doing his job." He was trying to instill confidence in Suna that their medical division was advanced and actually needed advice on how to grow the plants the medics in Suna did. So Suna would realize this was not a pity treaty. Both villages could really help each other. That was the goal.

"He didn't have to be so thorough," Masato swallowed his cut of meat. He scowled. He pointed at her with lamb on his fork, elbows on the table. Some of the sauce dripped off the end, landing on the white cloth; staining it with a drop of red. It could be mistaken for blood. The waiter had to duck to avoid the man's elbow. Sakura could not fault him for that. They had trouble finding a booth big enough to accommodate Masato's very tall and wide frame. The world was not designed for people over seven feet tall. Certainly not Konoha's most upscale restaurant. They were doing the best they could to make it through this. Both the restaurant and her. She had given the waiter a look of pity when he dashed away with a lowered head, trying to hide his fluster. The poor guy was barely keeping it together.

"So you did all that on the fly because your pride was hurt?" She asked incredulously, lips parted on the line between contained shock and outrage. She was just on the precipice, ready to cross over as she fully committed.

"Suna is very capable, we do not need handouts." He slammed his fist on the table. Everything rattled. The red wine - the very expensive wine - sloshed.

"Easy!" Sakura glared at him, holding down the cutlery and plates from completely falling off the tabletop. The restaurant has gone quiet. The flames at the ends of the two long white candles flickered as she exhaled through her nose. Fast and hot. Like a bull about to charge in head first. Because that was exactly what she was going to do.

"We are on the same page! Officially and unofficially. Do you really think Konoha would invite Suna - host Suna - just to embarrass you all? What could we hope to gain from such a thing?" Her eyes were livid but her voice was low, making it clear she would not handle any more tantrums or outbursts. Or accusations.

Masato blinked at her slowly. Barely moving beyond that. She could tell he was stopping himself from being overly candid which seemed like a milestone of sorts.

"If you do, with all due respect, I am beginning to have serious reservations about the true motivations behind Suna's acceptance of the invitation to the Chunin Exams and the Kazekage sitting in on meetings with the Hokage," she crossed her arms and leaned back against the covered chair. Her emerald eyes, hardened by her wariness, searched his visage. "Should I be concerned, Masato-san?" She asked him pointedly. It seemed to be the only pitch and frequency his brain could comprehend.

He clicked his tongue and turned his head away. She tried not to jump to conclusions. But her stiletto-clad foot - despite the added six inches in height, still had her over a foot and a half shorter than him - bobbed up and down under the white tablecloth in irritation. This whole thing was a massive waste of time. And she did not take kindly to having such a valuable, precious thing wasted in this manner. She had warned him. She had warned them all so she did not feel guilt for the consequences that were to come.

"Suna needs help," Masato admitted in a manner that made it clear it pained him to do so. "My home needs help," he glared at the furthest corner his downward gaze could reach. "But we are not a charity case," his green eyes bore into hers, with heat forged from the fires of indignation. His pride in his home for his people was not in question.

"I agree. And once you speak to your Kage with an open mind free of any prejudice or bitterness of the past, I'm sure that you'll realize that my Kage agrees too," Sakura said, much calmer, momentarily foregoing her anger out of understanding his perspective.

"I have some questions about the greenhouses. I'll pass them over to Uyeda-sama so please be on the lookout for them as this is a meeting outside an official capacity. I also think another tour of the greenhouses would do both sides a lot of good. I can arrange that as well, but again all communication should be through Uyeda-sama. It might seem tedious and pedantic at times but please follow the procedure that was agreed upon by both parties prior to your arrival. If you see room for improvement, Masato-san, please either make the suggestions through Kazekage-sama or Hokage-sama directly when you are in a meeting with him. I'm sure through repetition and trial and error we can make the process more intuitive and efficient. Please bear with our growing pains for now."

Sakura finished with a soft sigh. She lowered her eyes to her plate, having said what she wanted to. She picked up her fork and resumed eating her salad. The one that despite its price tag had no taste. The shaved micro-greens and vegetables had been so carefully set on her plate. It was all appearances and no substance, something this trade could not be. At least the bread, garnished with a spice that was not native to Konoha, held less disappointment. If she was not so grumpy from being coerced here, poured into her dress, and having her tired from-standing-all-day-on-them feet be restrained in her pointy, pointy shoes that went against the natural shape of human feet, she might have even found the bread to be delicious. The wine certainly was.

Masato stared at her for a number of minutes before he too followed her example. He picked up his fork and knife and cut into his meat. The table did not rock quite as much due largely in part to the fact his grip was no longer so firm, nor was his jaw so tight.

Progress.

"Are you finding the weather agreeable?" She asked without looking up at him.

"Too humid," he grumbled.

Sakura's lips pulled into a smirk. "You must not be a fan of Kiri or Ame then."

"You wouldn't catch me dead there," he grinned. "You've been?"

"No," she said reproachfully, remembering the last time she was in Ame. "But I would like to. Maybe someday soon."

"You have horrible taste," he said with a frown and furrowed brow. "You should come to Suna next. I'll show you around. Show you how it's done. I'll treat you to some real Suna delicacies. You'll never look at cacti the same way again."

"Do I even want to know?" She propped her elbow on the table to rest her chin on the back of her hand with zero concern for table manners.

"Come to Suna and find out," he winked at her.

Sakura scoffed without real emotion as bits and ends of conversation interrupted their chewing.

Things were just starting to meander to the realm of comfort when a chakra signature had her coiling. Sakura was on her aching, throbbing feet without warning. Masato furrowed his brow, his mouth hung open in surprise. But she paid him no mind. The ANBU with black markings - Badger, part of the night guard - was at the side of the table a second later.

"Sakura-san, I'm sorry to interrupt your evening but Uyeda-san is indisposed of."

Drunk, that meant he was drunk. Her clone had overheard him saying he planned on getting wasted and based on the last couple of days the poor man had, Sakura could not blame him. He was under a lot of added stress. So protocol dictated they find her. The unofficial, top medic they had. But she knew it was all smoke and mirrors, the Hokage could demand any medic he so damned pleased.

Sakura, you need to calm down.

She ignored Inner and started to pump her stomach. She only had a glass and a half of wine but even a drop of alcohol in her body was unacceptable when Minato's wellbeing was on the line. There was no question about it. Quick and dirty. She did not care how her body was purged of the effects of alcohol as long as it got done. Even if that meant she would be waking up with what felt like a massive hangover as a consequence.

"It's Hokage-sama."

No shit.

"Take me to him," she grabbed her clutch and her shawl without a thought. She pulled it over her shoulders, securing it in place with a loose knot to try to make herself appear more professional. It hid the thin straps and about half of her exposed back. The top half but it was what she had to work with. She pulled her hair out of its bun, picking at the pins to gather in her hands. Leaving only the long ponytail that brushed the bare skin of her lower back. It provided some coverage for the creamy skin there. She could not afford to cast a quick genjutsu. Every pulse of chakra could be valuable. The one in her seal was off-limits. It was always off-limits unless it was unavoidable. And it yet remained to be seen if this was an unavoidable case.

"Enjoy your meal, Masato-san, everything is already taken care of," she pushed out without pausing between words. She did not spare him a single glance before shushining after Badger, mind racing through all the possibilities.

xXx

"What's wrong?" She asked immediately the second the exam room stabilized around her. Pencil-thin heels were clicking against the porcelain floor, rapidly. It was the personal exam room of the Hokage. It was warded against prying eyes and ears. Only a select few chakra signatures were even allowed past the seals. She could feel the ANBU guard standing outside. Badger had given her nothing but she supposed it was just as well. He was not a medic. Any words he spoke would just be wasted air.

"What hurts?" Sakura demanded in a follow-up. Minato caught her wrist before she could pump her chakra into him for an exam because he was simply taking too long to answer her simple questions, leading her to think that maybe he was concussed.

"I'm fine, Sakura."

"What do you mean you're fine?" Her eyes flashed. She pulled her wrist from his hand with a harsh tug. "Explain," her voice caused the baby hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. Her eyes never stopped moving in a visual triage. He did look fine. A little disheveled but that was par for the course of being pulled abruptly from his evening. More than a little tired but fine. There was nothing visibly wrong with him. And there was a clear lack of fluids on the exam table.

"Did you hit your head?" She frowned, softening a margin as concern for him won out yet again. "Did you eat something? Did you come into contact with something usual?" She needed to know what he was experiencing. "Are you seeing things?"

Did you eat a fucking cactus from Suna?

Minato shook the head in question. She watched his eyes closely checking for dilated pupils or a slow reaction to any stimulus. That was the intent anyway.

"No," he was not looking at her. No, he was fixated on the ground. "I heard."

"You heard what?" She asked him irately at his lack of making sense. He should not be here.

He clenched his jaw, an involuntary response almost to her question and the all too familiar way it was delivered. It was a bad kind of familiar. A familiar he would like to forget.

"I didn't want you to be in that situation. I didn't want to be the one that put you in that-"

"Are you kidding me?" She stared at him slack-jawed, dulled-eyed, and completely flabbergasted. "Namikaze," he flinched at the way she said his name - his last name. "You're telling me, you bailed on your dinner with the Kazekage - who need I remind you is instrumental to what you're trying to pull off here - uprooted me from mine all because some mouth breather told you what their pea-sized brain thought was happening?"

Minato narrowed his eyes, the extent to which he let his mask show any insight into his state of mind. She was not too far off on how he came to know about the situation but he did not care for what she was implying; for what she was implicating him in. He was not in the wrong here. And he would not let her twist it to make that the case.

"I saw the way he was looking at you - your clone - back at the hospital," his nostrils flared, anger rising at the memory. The ice was starting to pull the color from his eyes, turning them frigid. "He doesn't expect just dinner."

She laughed, harsh, cold, demeaning. Ridicule, her laughter was in the form of ridicule. "I can't believe this," she pressed her fingers to her forehead. "Just when I think…," she muttered to herself, dumbfounded. She closed her eyes and willed herself to not lose her whole damn mind because she was so close. So, so, so close.

"I'm a big girl, Namikaze," because calling him by his title did not seem right. He was not behaving like a man of his rank right now. His behavior was not worthy of his rank. His behavior was an embarrassment. It was unacceptable.

"You don't - and not a single person on this damn earth - need to protect me from my own actions and choices. You can't protect me!" She practically screamed at him. She was free to do so. The room was sealed and her body had still not come down from a heightened state of adrenaline. Not since the moment Badger crashed her dinner. Her stress did not need to look twice for an outlet. "I don't need your protection. I don't want it!"

"I need it!" Minato sat up from the table so abruptly - yet making it look smooth, intentional somehow - that she nearly took a step back. Nearly. "I will not have my post, my rank, my office be the reason you are in that situation. The reason why you feel the need to be in that situation; the reason you are coerced into that situation. You or anyone else. I couldn't protect you in that past, but I will be damned if I can't from here on out."

Her anger was so great, that it eclipsed everything else. She could not feel anything else. She was not allowed to feel anything else. Sakura did not back down. She stood toe to toe with him, nearly eye to eye. She just needed just two inches more. Maybe if she had those two measly inches they could finally see the same thing because they would have the same vantage and that probably went a long way to having the same perspective right? If nothing else, he would not be able to literally look down his nose at her, like the self-righteous bastard he could sometimes be. If nothing else.

"It is none of your damn business who looks at me and with what intentions!" She snarled, partially feral in her anger. "Just like it's none of your damn business how I choose to spend my time when I'm off the clock. It's none of your damn business who I choose or choose not to fu-"

"Sakura!" He called out her name, clipping, reprimanding. Angry. Accidentally. It surprised even him because just as quickly as it had spiked, it tapered back down. His composure locked back into place - secured. His stoic visage was recognizable once more as was his stance. He demanded to be respected; his point of view was to be something other than dismissed. He spoke to her as her Hokage. "It is my business when it's a foreign dignitary. It is my business when-"

"I have no power!" She jabbed him in the chest with an index finger, pushing him against the edge of the exam table, so damn tired of him and his interruptions. His title meant nothing to her. Not in this building. Not in this room. Not in this situation.

"I am nobody! I am nothing! I have nothing!" Her voice echoed, speaking for her even after her lips stopped moving. Lips that she tormented between her teeth, smearing the stain all over them.

Surprise cut through the ice of his exterior. Revealing a scenario he did not think of. But that did not slow her down. "I am so done with you-"

"I don't want to fight, Sakura," he interrupted just as she geared up for the back and forth. Minato sank back onto the table, defeated. "I'm tired of fighting you." He covered his face with his hands. "I'm not good at it." His voice came out muffled. His eyes were downcast and his hair mussed when he lowered his barrier. If the word "crestfallen" had a picture next to its definition, Minato captured it. Maybe he encapsulated the word "downtrodden" just as accurately.

Sakura, close your mouth.

Sakura complied. Because just like that, he completely took the fight out of her and her wits too. Completely and utterly dosing the flames so thoroughly that all heat left her body. The air which had been cackling with animosity sank heavily to the floor. She blinked at him: at his defeat, at his posture, at his state of doneness. A break that had not healed. A wound that was opened anew.

"I have no power," she repeated hoarsely, but with more gentleness than before. It was not a battle cry but an attempt to soothe - to placate. "I have no authority. I have no title," she reminded him. "What benefit could Konoha possibly hope to gain from me sleeping with him? What stately benefit could be gained by two nobodies sleeping together?" She asked not to cut but to enlighten, to pull back the curtain that obscured his ability to see things clearly.

Like staring out at the ocean from a high cliff, she could see each wave from where she stood in his eyes. Every single one that developed and broke the surface in a swell. She dared not to place a name or label. She would get caught up in it all. She would drown. But she would break before the lack of air killed her.

"I overreacted," he murmured to himself, making the realization out loud. Masato was a medic. He was merely here to offer advice, a consult. But the decision ultimately rested with the Kazekage. Sakura was not tied to the trade in any way officially. And Danzo, if Danzo saw an angle to exploit he would have had her sleep with the Kazekage's advisor. A crusty old man whose eyes barely opened. He was a relic. Every time he moved, Minato was reminded that he was alive and a part of him was surprised. He connected the dots incorrectly from any vantage. He was wrong. So wrong.

"You overreacted," she said with steady agreement, offering him some grace because she did not have to be the one to say it first.

"Did I just interrupt your…date?" He asked, looking a little green.

"Kami, no," she nearly laughed out loud at the ridiculousness in a knee-jerk reaction that was too quick for her to filter. Her emotions were still not within her control. They were speaking for her, through her. "I mean," she sighed. "It depends on who you ask. If you asked him, probably. But if you ask me, the answer is no."

"I'm sorry," he tilted his head back to look her in the eye with vulnerability in his. "I just didn't want you to…," he did not finish his sentiment. He did not need to. Instead, he covered his face with his hands once more. Maybe it was done so he would not have to look at her or maybe the other way around. His embarrassment was palpable. It was set in the redness of his face and ears. It was not something he was used to. "I should have listened. I should have used my head."

You should have acted like yourself. You should have just let it go.

"Hm," she clicked her tongue in a sympathetic sound, not seeing the need to kick him while he was down beyond that.

"Everything you do, everything you do-"

"Drives you crazy?" She offered with a humorless smile, index finger finding a hang-nail on her thumb to play with. To toy with because it felt like the universe was doing the same thing to her. "Is wrong?"

"Is for the village," Minato lowered his hands and held her in his gaze, correcting not the first misunderstanding of the evening. "I don't know how but I do know that. And you're good at it. Much better than I am. You're able to put aside your feelings and do what you believe needs to be done. With a single-minded focus. And that…that terrifies me."

"Because you don't trust me," she said without anger. She registered the pain from her nail pulling too much skin off absentmindedly at her side. She had recovered enough of her wits from the floor to not tap her foot to appease the growing need to fidget.

"No," he said firmly, jaw clenching. He drew in a breath and loosened it enough to speak. "Because you lost complete regard for yourself."

He thinks I'm reckless.

He's not wrong.

But still, she was not the one who was supposed to be worried about her. It was supposed to be the other way around. Always the other way around.

She did not look him in the eye but the same could not be said for him. She felt the shortness of her dress at that moment. She did not want to draw attention to that fact so she did not tug the hem in an attempt to lower it. She was wearing her seduction outfit within Konoha's borders. How could she fault him for thinking what he did?

"I know what I'm doing," she said softly, wanting to wrap her arms around herself but denying herself of even that small comfort in his presence.

"But I don't," Minato's throat twisted the words with anguish. "I don't, Sakura." Once still cobalt waves had turned turbulent, choppy once more. Gone was the steely layer that betrayed nothing.

"You said you wouldn't ask," she reminded him perhaps unfairly. "You said you would wait until I was ready." Her voice held steady despite her doubts. She was supposed to be strong. She was supposed to be together and collected. She could at the very least project that if it was not quite the truth.

"I know," he pulled at his hair. Lost in his own disappointment, feeling the tears from being pulled in different directions. "I will," he promised. "I just need something." If it was not the truth, he needed assurances. "Anything," he breathed with a desperation that had her head spinning faster and in the opposite direction. He could not go on like this.

Neither of them could.

"I meant what I said, Sakura. I can't live with the fact that you're doing this to yourself for me-"

"Minato," she sighed as she said his name, masking the unease at how close he was to the truth. Uncomfortably close. Unacceptably close. The thing about opening up - she did not read the fine print - was that it made it so hard to go back to keeping everything bottled up. The cork did not fit as smoothly or as seamlessly. She wanted to alleviate some of the pressure, for him and herself before they both went crazy. Him from his guilt and her from everything else.

She smacked the outside of his knee with the back of her hand in a gesture that was beyond even her capacity. They were friends, right…at one point if not now? Did friends not comfort one another? It was part of the job description, right?

"Scoot over, my feet are killing me," she explained, not believing it herself but she had already committed. There was no turning back. For once, she wanted to be the reason behind raising his hopes and spirits instead of crushing them. She was tired of crushing them.

The Hokage recovered from his surprise and made room on the table by sliding to his left. Sakura sat back, careful not to let her hem ride up too much. She crossed her ankles. She did not press her back against the wall like Minato was doing.

"You didn't make me do anything," she stared at the door in front of them and to the right. "You didn't ask me to do anything. You've never asked me to do anything. I need you to hear me," she looked over her shoulder at him with traces of the warmth she used to hold.

I need you to listen.

"As I alluded to earlier, that was an unofficial dinner, in a completely unofficial capacity. I needed to get him off my clone's back before he tried to grab her and she went poof," Sakura moved her fingers away from her thumb, expanding the reach of her palm just to drive the point home with a visual. "That was nothing." It was neither personal nor professional. "It would have led to nothing other than him walking away with a sense that maybe something could come out of nothing."

Pining. She would have left him pining. She would have strung him along until it was time for him to go home just as he came, alone and frustrated. That was why she wore the dress that led to the demise of so many. And she would have taken satisfaction in it. Maybe she would have walked away with a sense of accomplishment from it all.

"My mouth gets me out of a lot of trouble," she smirked without pride or humor. It was just a fact.

"I wouldn't know," he sighed but there was relief settling into his frame. It was gradual and subtle but she knew all the places to look. "It's only gotten me into trouble." Or given him trouble, perhaps that was the more accurate statement.

"You've done that all on your own," she tutted. She leaned forward to undo the strap of her left sandal, twisting the silver buckle. It fell to the floor with two loud distinguishable clatters. The first when it hit the ground and again when it landed on its side. "You owe me for the meals by the way. Think of it as restitution."

"The word you're looking for is compensation."

"Yeah, that," she nearly chuckled. Nearly. "Compensation for having to put up with you outside of work hours," she joked humorlessly.

Minato's lip curled not too different from his face when he smelled something unpleasant. "If I pay for your dinner, it makes it official. It ties it to The Tower," he said with an air of distastefulness.

"Use your own money then," she rolled her eyes at his transparent attempt to not come across as cheap. "The wine was so good," she said with a longing sigh. The wine she only had enough to wet her mouth with.

I should have swiped it when I had the chance.

Because there's so much room between your pocketless dress and your clutch.

"Sakura, just how much do you think I get paid?" He blanched. The restaurant they were dining at was expensive. More than he could ever justify for one meal. Way too much for Kushina to not notice with the hawk-eyes focus she kept on their finances. Finances that all ran through her.

"You should have thought of that before you tried to play the hero," she studied her nails in a bored manner not moved by his circumstance. "It's really not my problem." She wanted to thoroughly discourage this type of behavior from occurring in the future. So it had to hurt. But not too much. She knew he could afford it because she knew exactly how much he made.

What? Was she not supposed to snoop? She was a ninja for crying out loud. And besides, was it not normal for friends to know how much friends made? It was only fair. Minato signed her boss's boss's paychecks. He had jurisdiction over everyone's paychecks.

"Fine," he relented with a sigh. He would figure a way out of this. They did not call him a prodigy for naught.

"Just curious," she began slowly picking at the end of her nail. She bit her lip to keep a sly smile from becoming categorizable. "How did you think it was going to work? Logistically?" She squinted at him, taking great satisfaction in watching him squirm, in the way his face turned pink. Even his ears. "I mean…they say looks can be deceiving but even if they were, just the size difference between the two of us alone would more than make up for a below-average-"

"We're done talking about this," he said with a huff, lips tugged into a frown and eyes looking anywhere but at her. "We're never speaking of this again," he murmured to his own benefit.

"So you can think these things, act on them, and generally do whatever you want but I can't ask you a few questions in return?" She blinked slowly at him with too much innocence.

"I don't make the rules," he nodded his head gravely.

"You're literally the Hokage," Sakura literally pointed out, index finger, toward his nose in accusation.

"Believe me, it's not all that it's cracked up to be," he leaned back with a sigh. "Can't make anyone happy."

"If I knew you would whine this much, I would have tried harder to make my own case," she pressed her fingers to the back of her heel. She tutted, tiredly. "Everyone would have lost their minds." She would have had the shortest stint as Hokage. Even shorter than future Danzo's. They would not have even bothered putting her name on the rock because that meant they would have to look at it every day as a reminder of a horrible fate.

"It would have been fine," Minato said without hints of doubt, pulling her from her musings. "I would have been there with you. Every step of the way. As your advisor. You would have won them all over, eventually." It was hard to argue with results and Sakura delivered. Each and every time.

"Presumptuous much?" She scoffed and finished with an eye roll. "I wouldn't let you anywhere near The Tower."

Minato's lips curled in mild offense. "If I were a man with less self-confidence I might have resented the implication."

She hummed softly. It was true. He did not lack in that department, not in the slightest.

"We make a good team. We work too well together not too." He believed they could not afford not to work together.

I hope we can work together to keep the village safe and do great things.

She recalled his words to Loris in a roomful of ANBU who were gathered with just one purpose: to protect him. She hoped so too. More than anything.

"How did you get out of your dinner?" She looked at him, hand absentmindedly rubbing over the back of her heel, neither agreeing or disagreeing with his statement in favor of changing the topic all together.

"I convinced the Kazekage to spar me." He smiled shamelessly at her, careful not to let his eyes wander from her face. Her shapely rear sat quite nicely on the sterile table, drawing the eye to the curviest part of her. The stark contrast of her milky skin against the night and dark forest of her dress and shawl did not help.

"I let him hit me so that I could claim it aggravated an old shoulder injury from the war," he explained.

"You…," her stomach turned, making her regret ever opening her mouth to ask. "How am I the only adult in the room?"

"Being an adult is overrated." He frowned at the welts and angry red marks on her feet. "Why do that to yourself?" A genuine lack of understanding colored his words; it did not happen often. Or maybe it did not happen often in other sectors. Sakura was beginning to think that maybe Jiraiya and Kakashi were right. Minato was clueless.

What will your response be when he asks why your cheeks are pink or your eyelids sparkly?

He knows about makeup…probably.

Sakura let out a small gasp of relief as she freed her other foot. She wiggled her toes. They relished their freedom from the strap that kept them pressed against each other. The color was starting to come back as her circulation returned, leaving her to wonder if her feet had swelled up when she was not paying attention.

"You've seen him," She said with a haughty brow thrown over her shawl-clad shoulder. "I barely came up to his belly button without them."

Minato chuckled. "I bet if I sat on your shoulders, while you wore them, I still wouldn't be able to look him dead in the eye."

"You'd probably come up to his chin if we're being honest," she sat back with a sigh, not pointing out that he was taller than her so if anything she should have been the one on his shoulders in his hypothetical. But she was much too sober for that. The air was not as light as their tones implied.

Sakura. Inner's voice was testy. Impatient. Reminding her of reality.

I know.

She truly did, even if her actions did not speak to it.

"Maybe for the exam finale, we can have you arm wrestle against him," he suggested as if he had not been thinking about it, visualizing it in his mind.

"No contest," she said with a snort. "I would crush him," she said without a doubt in her mind. Absolutely zero hesitation. Minato chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. "But the treaty might be dealt with similar devastation."

"It would be worth it just to see the expression on his face and everyone's in the stands alone," his eyes sparkled. He was picturing it now. A silence filled the room between each and every one of their breaths. "That would have endeared you to them. The petite, pink-haired preserver of Konoha's honor takes on the Mountain carved from Suna's pride." He moved his hand in the air with each word as if pasting them for all to see. "Think of all the money that we could raise for a good cause."

"Your headline needs more work before you go put up flyers everywhere," she noted dryly, warning no business in encouraging this particular idea. A part of her could see him actually following through. "I'm not worried about other people." Her eyes moved from side to side as she set them on anything other than the blond next to her. "Did you make it at least believable? Your injury?" She questioned with more seriousness.

"Of course," he scoffed in offense. "I am a professional."

"Right," she said sarcastically. "Whatever that means." Sakura played with the tie of her low ponytail, reaching behind her head. It bothered her that she did not know what it meant. "Try to act your age, okay?" She asked without confidence, eyeing him with suspicious scrutiny. "Your age and not the one you feel most like," she clarified not trusting the way his face was conducting itself.

"I wouldn't mind us being kids again." Grit and gravel. His voice rubbed up against her, making its impact known to the point she almost stroked her skin.

"Our childhood experiences were very different," she did not completely straighten the curve of her spine as she kicked her feet softly back and forth. "I have no desire to go back."

To relive all of this again. Losing everything was bad enough once.

"Sakura, I didn't mean-"

"Minato," she tucked her top lip under her teeth, playing with a strand of hair near her neck, curling it around her pointer finger. There was a heaviness to the action. "What you did was disrespectful," her tone was solemn.

"I know," he dipped his head. From his verbal blunder or her assessment, it was not entirely clear. It did not matter all that much. The lightness was gone, taking the open flow of conversation with it. It was disrespectful. To the Kazekage. To his wife. To Sakura. To Masato - even if he did not care all that much, he had to begrudgingly add his name to the list. Even to his ANBU. "It won't happen again." Now that he knew that she knew where he stood. His throat itched.

Sakura's voice filled the air. Innately familiar sounding to his ears even if Loris was the one who spoke to him more often. "If the Yondaime and Loris are to be successful…."

"Sakura and Minato need to figure out how to coexist," he finished the thought for her, filling the silence.

Sakura hummed in agreement. "Minato and Sakura need to," her green eyes flickered up to his. "Not interact unless there is a legitimate reason and other people are there." A witness. They needed witnesses so that even the hint of indecency could not be implied. It protected them both.

"Sakura," he frowned at her.

"Your wife hates me," she said impassively, ignoring the knot in her stomach.

"She doesn't know you," Minato countered. "If you would just let her-"

"Minato," her soft voice had him closing his mouth and straining his ears to listen, to not miss a sound she made. "No," she said with firmness. "Just no. I wasn't finished." She shook her head for a moment to clear her mind of thoughts. She was focused on her message, everything was aligned. "For good reason, your wife hates me for good reason. She knows me enough," her emerald eyes were steadfast in their conviction. Kushina knew her more than enough. The woman saw her as a bad friend, a really bad friend. She was right. Kushina saw her as someone who hurt the people she cared about in Tsume and Minato. Sakura had and did. That was the long and short of it. That was the only thing Kushina needed to know about her.

She exhaled slowly, shoulders falling as she did. Her feet stopped moving. Her heels rested against the back of the base of the exam table. She looked him in the eyes. Her face was the mask of neutrality. It was only her eyes that held her honesty. Her lips parted and started to move.

"I don't want to be good at arguing with you. I don't want to get good at arguing with you, Minato."

The words of dissent died in his throat, becoming like sand. He swallowed audibly. It was nearly painful. "Sakura and Minato need to limit their interactions," he agreed with a sigh. She was right. Their faces together posed a lot of questions. Questions he would rather not think about much less have to address. "I understand," he said more to himself than her. But her sharp ears did not miss the utterance.

"Good," she stated simply. They were in agreement, in understanding. A step in the right direction of reaching harmony. "You could have saved me before the food got there," she scrunched her nose, sniffing the air. Her attempt to ease away the pressure was far from smooth or effective but he latched on. "You drunk?"

"Slightly buzzed," Minato did not look proud to admit it. "And that, Sakura, is mixed messaging."

"You're right," she resigned. "Did you mean it?"

"What?" He turned his body so he was facing her. His knee rubbed against her leg.

"That you think I'm worthy of love?"

Worthy of being loved. Worthy of having someone have in their heart something close to what she held in hers. She wanted to know if he believed that. She wanted to know if she was not too far gone. She wanted to know if that little girl, the little boy once had loved, was still in there…somewhere. She wanted to know if he could still see parts of her battered soul. She looked down at her hands, feeling so exposed and vulnerable in the face of his silence.

"Forget I said-"

He swallowed thickly, cutting her off. "Yes. Of course. I meant it. I meant every word, Sakura." Every. Single. Word.

"Even the ones that hoped I would be able to be someone else's?"

Because if that was true then he was a better person than she could ever hope to be. Because it meant putting her happiness over his own if that were true. It meant watching her be happy with someone else. It meant having his heart broken a little more each and every day - dying a little more on the inside each and every day - to know that he was not her happiness. She knew exactly what the price of those words was. Intimately.

"Yes."

Her eyes fluttered closed as her heart pulsed in her chest, finding a new way to bring her pain.

He did not speak for several moments. But neither did she. Even if a part of her - Inner - was reminding her that he needed to go home. To his wife. To his world. He needed to go back to the arms of his home.

"Anyone but Nakamura-san," Minato said without color, as flat as his expression. Trying too hard to be nonchalant.

She scoffed, in her own attempt at the same. She failed in a different way. "Of course. I almost stabbed his hand to the table," she did not like the dark look in his eye. The one that said he would help stab the other one or anything else she deemed appropriate. "Not because he tried anything but because of the way he was chewing."

He tried his best not to react visibly such as by donning a smug look on his face or outright laughing. "I see," he cleared the tickle in his throat. Everything about him became serious in the span of a few blinks of his long lashes. The flutter of yellow butterfly wings. "Tezuka-san is a good man. This is the second time you've met him, right?"

"Not that it's any of your business," Sakura rolled her eyes at his subtle attempt to pry, flicking an invisible piece of lint from her shawl; playing with the fringe ends of it. "He is and it is," her lips twitched slightly. "We danced," she said in low volume, barely above a whisper. Any louder and she might just bring herself to her senses and clamp up.

"You like to dance?" Minato asked before he could stop himself. His blond brows greeted his hairline, cobalt eyes slightly wider than their usual mold in surprise.

"Hm," she tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear. "There's a lot you don't know about me," she reminded him in a smile without mirth. She fluttered her eyes away from his face before they could register the emotion that took up residency there. "We danced. We talked. We drank." She braved a glance, just a glance to check if it was safe. He was fixated on her. His mask was stoic and calm. "But you already know that."

He did not deny it. He could not deny it.

"You read the mission report," she declared without surprise or disappointment. It just was. It was a fact and not one worth getting worked up over. He probably read all of her mission reports she wrote with her hand and probably even notes and comments the Yondaime or her teammates wrote about her over the years. All the way up to her time in Root anyway.

"Was…was there anything else?" Minato asked her in a tone and volume that was not much different than hers. If either of them noticed that he leaned forward a centimeter closer to her, they did not draw attention to that fact. "That wasn't in your report?" He added when faced with her continued withholding.

"Are you implying that I left something off on an official mission statement? Are you implying that I omitted information from a sitting Hokage?" Her eyes held conflict. Mirth cut with annoyance. Challenge laced with acceptance. Hope held back by disappointment. They were alive. Her eyes were alive.

"Remember what you said about me and trouble earlier?" He asked all the while his own pulled into an uneven-half smile. The one that got him out of trouble with her ever since the beginning. At the roll of her eyes and slight turn of her head to hide the upward twitch of her lips - that she did not move away in time - he committed to the smile.

"He," she looked down at her hands, thinking. He watched her raise her left hand. She tapped her cheek twice with a glazed over sheen to her eyes. Her smile was soft. Real. Its presence was corroborated in her emerald irises. "Kissed me goodnight."

He blinked. Then again. Then once more. That was the extent of his surprise. The only thing he allowed to squeeze through the gasps of his facade.

"He asked for permission first," she carried on, perhaps forgetting he was even still there. "He was a gentleman." She chuckled. "He is a gentleman." A good man. Junji was a really good man. "And he's completely devoted to his wife. His late wife."

He cleared his throat a little too roughly. "You're right." He pulled her attention back with his words but he did not provide clarification as to which part he referred to: it not being his business or Junji being devoted.

"Is that why?" She gathered her resolve. "Is the Tsuchi mission and the escort mission why you didn't accept Sandaime-sama's offer?"

Minato sighed. His stomach churned unpleasantly in response to the way the nerves in his gut clenched nearly making his jaw compelled to do the same.

"That amongst other things," he answered cryptically. It was a large part of it but not everything. There had to be other reasons to justify it because it was far too personal - nearly unethical - for denying the village the benefit of the former's Hokage's perspective over one person. That is what he told himself anyway.

"I thought you would say yes," she admitted. "I thought him asking was merely a formality." She thought it was purely optics. It was very differently perceived by the clans and the Elders if Minato actively sought the Sandaime for help versus the Sandaime graciously offering it. The latter option was better for both the Kage.

"You didn't ask." He would have told her.

"I asked Shikaku-san," she closed her eyes. The upward curve of her dark lashes distracted him. They captured his focus. "Loris asked Shikaku-san," she corrected.

"He didn't tell me," Minato punctuated his statement with a frown. Her lashes fluttered heavily a few times before she settled on opening her eyes for more than a second.

"I wonder why," she mused.

He probably didn't want to get caught in between the two of you and your cross fire. He can be just as lazy as Shika.

And just as smart.

"Tezuka-san is too old for you anyway," Minato pumped lightness into his voice.

"I could do much worse than Junji-san," she smiled fondly, pretending to be ignorant to the scrutiny in his dark, dark eyes. "But I have a whole five nations and countless small countries to explore; to find my forever dance partner." Not Camel. Not Kai. Not even Junji. She got lost in the fantasy for a moment. Because she did not want to drown the one sitting next to her in the guilt he carried around his neck. He moved on. She could give the illusion of the same. For him. For the Yondaime.

For Minato-kun.

"I would like to modify my earlier statement. Just limit your search to someone in Konoha. The Yondaime needs Loris," his tone was earnest. It warmed her but it did not take long for the pleasant feeling to burn her.

The Yondaime has everything he needs. Or will have it soon enough, I promise you.

"You need to stop digging yourself a deeper hole before you lose sight of what's going on on the surface," she pinned him in place with a look that did not suffer fools - the last thing she would have described Minato as before this evening, before right now. "Stop digging, Minato," she warned without any change to the casual nature of her voice.

Do not test Danzo.

Don't be an idiot, Blondie.

"You worry too much," he said easily but there was something held in his eyes that had her inwardly relaxing.

Her lips quirked up. She turned to face him, curling a knee toward her thigh. "Let me see your shoulder."

"Why do you need to see my…fu-" Minato bit his knuckles to keep in the curse he was not expecting. He grabbed onto his shoulder in agony. Gritting his teeth. "What the hell, Sakura?" Blue eyes darkening to somewhere between cobalt and sapphire to glare at her.

"You hurt your shoulder," she shrugged without remorse at roughly dislocating the joint with her bare hand. "Have to make your lie believable. I'll heal most of it so that you're still tender for the next couple of days." And as an added bonus, the pain sobered him up. It might also keep his wife from killing him. She knew technically it would be on the Night Guard's head if Minato was killed by his wife while at home, but she would still feel conflicted about it.

"No more sparing," her tone was not to be tested. She would not heal him until he agreed.

Minato hissed in pain, nodding in surrender. "I don't remember you being so sadistic," he grumbled, sighing in relief as her chakra entered his body under where her small hand hovered.

"Time has a way of color everything in hues of rose," Sakura hummed sagely, smiling sadly as she reversed most of the damage she had done to him.

---

Chopsticks clicked and clinked against ceramic bowls and plates but the symphony of sounds from the utensils was drowned out by the loud voices. Specifically, two voices that were a cut louder than the rest.

"I won't tell!" Anko answered with an air of smug testiness. "I'm not a rat!"

"I bet you Morino's otosan hears that one a lot," Kakashi said dryly with his right elbow on the table, holding a piece of beef between his chopsticks. His head was being supported with his other curled fist that rested right about where his silver hairline started.

"Come on!" Obito whined in an octave that could encourage migraines to develop, especially if he kept it up. "Did you write down the answers and keep them in your hair?" He pointed to the back of his own head. "That's why you keep it up right? To hold stuff? Stuff other than your senbon?"

He looked so beyond pleased with himself for having figured it out that Loris could only bite the inside of her cheek and maintain her silence. She wanted nothing to do with bursting Obito's very bubbly bubble. She chewed on her rice while her green eyes surveyed the faces of the table with interest.

Kakashi-sensei.

No way, it will be Anko.

They were both wrong, for it was Rin who opened her mouth and tapped Obito's goggles with a curled knuckle.

"Obito," she frowned at him. "What answers would Anko-chan even sneak in her hair?"

They all looked at the Uchiha whose forehead crinkled, arms crossed and lips pursed together in concentration.

"Don't strain yourself," Kakashi could not resist kicking the fruit that was on the ground. The bar was that low.

"Good point, Rin-chan," he said without embarrassment - ignoring Kakashi completely - as he picked up his chopsticks from the chopstick holder that looked like a Labrador retriever. They were a birthday gift that Loris got for Kakashi. He never said anything but they all knew that the one that looked like a pug was off-limits. It was his to use and only his.

That was a very diplomatic way to handle that. Rin-chan would make an excellent advisor to Obito-kun.

Why subject such a fate to the poor girl?

Loris coughed pointedly into her elbow to cover a snicker.

Obito would be the Godaime. Naruto would be the Rokudaime. That was how it would be. The Yondaime and Kushina would be in attendance along with everyone else when their son was given the red hat. She refused to entertain notions of anything else.

"Let me guess," Anko deadpanned as she chewed her meat, making aggressive eye contact with Obito. Purple eyes brows moving lazily on her forehead. "You cheated off of Rin-san. Didn't you, Uchiha?"

Before the reddening Obito could recover enough to say a complete word without sputtering, Kakashi spoke up. "Yes, but that wasn't why he passed," his bored tone called out. "He got by on a technicality."

"I knew it!" Anko said triumphantly. "You can't even cheat right! Even with your fancy eyes."

"For the last time! I don't have the Byakugan!" Obito pointed right back in Anko's face.

"Sit down," Loris called out softly. They - Anko and Obito - did not hesitate to comply. The chill that had filled the room was not missed. It promised they would not like it if she had to repeat herself.

Rin's giggles broke the uncomfortable silence. They had nervous undertones. "Nothing wrong with relying on a teammate, Obito," she patted the back of his hand. "Or luck every now and then," she smiled softly at the fond memory. Obito's anger dissolved completely. He looked at the back of his hand starstruck.

He's probably not going to wash it tonight.

You should make him do the dishes.

"I bet I know how you did it," the Hataka drawled for effect.

"I bet you don't," Anko stabbed the end of a dumpling with her chopstick, growing impatient with it.

"Mirror tied with wire," Kakashi ignored her entirely as he shared his theory. "You probably sat behind a Nara kid."

"Give me some credit!" Anko rolled her eyes. "I'm way more original than that."

Loris's lip curled upward at Anko's excessive confidence. It was nice to see a kunoichi so unapologetically accepting of her skill.

Girls have to be tough.

She remembered the words a version of herself said a lifetime ago. Her eyes softened as she regarded first Anko - who was shouting something at both Kakashi and Obito as they ganged up on her in the argument - then at Rin. The medic was primarily focused on eating the food while it was still warm - chewing thoroughly - but she interjected every now and then to keep the peace. A role she thrived at.

They really are.

"Sensei?"

Loris blinked jade-colored eyes, looking at Anko. All their faces were trained to her mask, expectantly.

"No sparring tonight," she reached for her water. She drank down the tickle in her throat. "You need your sleep, Anko-chan," she said over the collective groans. Disappointment - like venom - was more potent and effective when contained in smaller vessels. But she held firm. Anko's and Obito's pouts almost had her caving. Almost.

"That's what I tried to tell them," Rin said with a sigh, playing with her side braid. Her hair almost went down all the way to the middle of her ribs now. "But do they listen?" She rolled her brown eyes, giving Loris an exasperated look.

"Give it time, Rin-chan," she smiled, dutifully encouraging Rin's behavior. "Be consistent. It just takes a while to get through their thick skulls."

The brunette giggled at the scowl Kakashi donned.

"You better not lose, Heathen," Kakashi leaned back in his chair and pointed at Anko with his chopstick. He made lazy shapes in the air with carless wrist flicks. "Not after all that training you've done with us."

"Yeah!" Obito's dark eyes shone with determination. He leaned forward in his chair, barely still seated in it. "It will look bad on my portfolio for Hokage if someone I personally trained does not pass the exams on the first try."

"Don't listen to them, Anko-chan," Rin said sweetly to the girl while glaring daggers at her teammates.

"Well, duh," Anko answered, unfazed by the words. She plopped another dumpling in her mouth and chewed loudly.

"Loris, this place is great!" Obito stuffed his face with gusto. "We should get it more often," he said with his mouth full.

Loris hummed, tuning out Rin's and Kakashi's voices telling the pair to chew with their mouths closed. The tightening of her stomach and the wave of nausea that rose in her had nothing to do with that and everything to do with the foreboding sense of unease that filled her.

---

"What am I looking at?" He demanded to know, lowering the scroll in his hands.

"A map," Loris offered words to the obvious.

"Tsk," Danzo displaced air with a single huff. The act allowed him to retain the scroll in his hands despite wanting to throw it at her. Just to start off. "Of what Loris?" He pushed out through clenched teeth.

"I don't know," she admitted with her shoulders slumped forward and head downcast. "I am still in the process of working through Jiraiya-sama's shorthand wrapped in his encryption. He changes his cipher every couple of weeks."

"You come to me with a map to nothing and words without meaning?" His voice was low, somehow highlighting the level of his rage at the less-than-satisfactory results.

Loris bit the inside of her cheek. The sensation of the controlled pressure grounded her. "The map is the reason why Jiraiya-sama is out of the village. It means something to him and the Yondaime. The markings mean something."

Danzo's eye flitted over the map of Hi. The black 'X' markings she had referred to there were nearly a dozen of them stretching out as far as the border Hi shared with Hot Springs.

"I will figure out what they mean, Shimura-sama," Loris vowed in the practiced blend of obedience and tenacity. "Please allow me some more time."

Danzo turned to place the furled map into the inner pocket of his dark coat. "He doesn't trust you."

"Not completely," she admitted. "But I am working on it," she assured him with a bland voice.

"Time," his jaw set in a sharp line of displeasure. "You ask me for time." He looked past her, above her head at the dark wooden wall that was without a clock. Mulling her request over as he did the math in his head. Was she worth the trouble? Did she bring in more than she cost? "Do not take advantage of my generosity."

"Of course, Shimura-sama," she bowed at the hip, in a show of gratitude for his generosity.

"Is that all?" His fingers found the buckle of his belt, tightening. She could hear the leather groan as he applied more pressure. She unclenched her jaw she did not recall locking.

"Hokage-sama-"

The man dropped his hand to his side. It twitched in the anger he did not allow to show on his face.

"Is expecting me," she finished in a quiet voice. It was not a secret with the exams underway and the trade details in negotiation stages, the Hokage was pulling longer hours in the office. Which meant they all were. She had snuck out during the evening break - her dinner block. She stood waiting for dismissal.

The man's wrist flicked. Loris bowed before shushining away.

---

She watched her sleep. Counting each breath as the sheets rose and fell. It was the only way to still her mind. It was as close to a state of mindfulness as she would reach in this life. She believed that. The small digital clock was white and the block letters were in red. It was 2 AM. The first round of the Chunin Exams was over.

Anko - the girl she watched over as she slept - and her team had managed to make it out of the Forest of Death not dead but decidedly closer to it than they entered. Anko had beamed and smiled as she retold the story of the first-round matchup and how she beat her opponent but there was something different in her eyes. Something that was not there before. Her squad had learned what it meant to be a shinobi, what was being asked of them.

Her injuries, while great in number, were not debilitating. A sprained wrist was the worst of it that she had crudely tried to heal. She burned her skin with uneven chakra distribution. Anko had opted to let her cuts and bruises heal on their own - or until she reached either Loris or Rin. The girl was grimy and exhausted - having slept for a solid fifteen hours after a shower and stuffing her face - but alive.

And for that, Loris was beyond thankful. The last seventy-two hours had been a special kind of torture. Not knowing what was happening to the girl - to her student - while she was in the middle of the test of her life was awful. Loris had not felt that helpless in just about a decade.

He didn't make contact.

That had been the first thing she checked when Anko slung her arms around her middle and leaned into her in pure exhaustion. There was no curse mark. There was no broken skin. The chakra that Loris sent through her person came back empty-handed for any seals or foreign elements. Anko was physically the same as she went into the exams. Of course, a large part of her knew that Orochimaru would not risk appearing in the exams - he still had a face to maintain in the eyes of the village and her attempt to rile was a longshot at best - but that did not stop her from keeping an eye on him. She was just being vigilant. It was the responsible thing to do. She fully acknowledged it was the least she could do given the circumstances.

He didn't bite.

The war was over. People - villages - were paying attention to missing children again. They had to replenish their depleted ranks and what better way than tender age children? Better be made a soldier and be taught how to protect themselves than end up in the hands of flesh traders or in one of Orochimaru's cells. At least with the first option, they had a chance. The influx of retired shinobi traveling also made traders nervous. And then there were the Watomi's who were fearless in their pursuit to have no child unaccounted for. Their network expanded. They received monthly donations to the organization they created that allowed them to retain muscle part-time. It was useful to keep the children they did save out of harm's way until they were reunited with their families. Orochimaru's pool had shrunk to a small puddle.

And that was only one factor, one pressure point that was feeling the strain. And hopefully not the only one. The distorted map that was with Danzo - the one written by her hand not Jiraiya's despite her weaving remnants of the Sannin's chakra into it from the legitimate letters he wrote her - had markings close enough to the known bases associated with Danzo. That was the other. Her theory had been that if Danzo and Orochimaru were working closely, the man would have shown it to Orochimaru who would have recognized it anyway. She had wanted to inflate the sense of urgency. She wanted him to know the time when everything was out in the open was close, very close.

But Orochimaru did not bite or Shimura did not show him the map.

There are still the next rounds. He still might.

It was horrible what she was hoping for, what it meant. It made her feel every bit of the monster that Orochimaru and Danzo were. She had been in their world too long. She could not look herself in the eye. She had fallen so far from who she used to be, who she could have been. Who she wanted to be. But all that was not her focus. It was not on her list.

The list that said the exams going off without anyone dying or being permanently scarred - anyone whom she deemed good - was of the utmost priority. Everything else - Danzo and Orochimaru - could wait. For how much longer, she was not sure. It was up to them, she supposed.

Tomorrow is the big day.

Loris sighed as she leaned back against the trunk of the tree. Her legs were stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles. She tilted her head back to look at the moon through her mask. Its tranquility could not break through the unease she wore around her like a shell.

Tell me what we know, Sakura. Tell it to me again.

Loris sighed in acceptance.

We know that he, like Jiraiya-sama, had a Genin team around the same time Minato was being taught by the Sannin.

And?

We know all three of them are alive. They made it to adulthood. One of them is no longer a shinobi. Retired after the Third War. The other two are still on active duty. One is a Chunin, the other is a Jonin. Like Jiraiya-sama's other students, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing special. Nothing notable. From their official shinobi medical files, there is nothing that speaks to them having the seal. We know from future Sakura's time that Anko-sensei was the first to survive. We know that unofficially Sandaime-sama banned Orochimaru from taking on another team. So any contact that Orochimaru makes with Genin would raise some attention. He would have to be subtle about it.

Why would he do that? Why would he ban him from teaching?

My guess is that he knows. To some extent. His conscience is probably eating away at him constantly, in the back of his mind. He doesn't trust Orochimaru as much as he projects it to the rest of the village. He endorsed Minato after all.

So he knows but he pretends not to?

Because if he knew, if he truly knew he would have to do something right? He's maintaining plausible deniability.

Why not dig deeper? Why not know definitively?

I can't do everything.

You mean the inner archives and politics. And the grandstanding.

Hm. We don't have time for that. Minato is better suited for it anyway. If there is proof to find in Konoha, he'll find it.

She closed her eyes to let the wind dance across her eyelids in almost a soothing caress. She wished she could feel more of the wind.

It's going to be okay, Sakura. And we'll be prepared if things do not go according to plan.

She nodded her head. Her eyes flickered to the window where there was no movement from.

Everything is going to be okay.

---

The voices of the crowd were so loud. Too many of them for her to responsibly enhance her hearing. She would only serve to give herself a migraine in record time and that was the last thing she needed. Loris stood behind the Hokage's chair. The Kazekage's ANBU was to her right. She looked over the seated blond head with hair as yellow as the sun. On his left was a waterfall of vibrant red hair in a slightly lower chair because decorum and rules were written by those with fragile egos. Kushina was talking excitedly as were everyone else in the stadium except a handful. She was interested in a couple of those fingers. Namely: Danzo and Orochimaru.

Her clone, easy to spot given her distinctive head of hair, was sitting right in the middle. Orochimaru was three rows ahead of her. She had an excellent view of Danzo's viewing box. They were in her sights. Everything was going smoothly so far. Anko had fought an Inuzuka - a favorable matchup for her, Loris could not have scripted it better herself - to get into the third round. Her match was next. The first of the second day.

She did not know who was more nervous. Her or Anko. Neither of them had slept so Loris caved and they talked strategies until Anko's eyes grew heavy and her body gave into what her brain was not ready to admit.

She turned her head in the direction she felt eyes. A face with pale skin and dark accents and sharp features was waiting for her, staring openly in the manner only a child could get away with. Her brow furrowed behind her mask. The tiny stress marks already near his eyes and the similarity in features left her feeling like she had been kicked in the chest. He nodded his head ever-so-slightly. She questioned if she imagined it all. But it was when she returned the gesture, causing him to turn around to face the same direction that his mother was orientated, that she knew she did not. She registered his short ponytail and dark clothes as he sat next to the Uchiha Clan Matriarch; her husband to her other side. Loris's throat went dry thinking how those tiny hands were responsible for the deaths of nearly all of his clan. She snapped out of it when a body came to sit next to him, falling heavily on to the wooden bleachers. He was older. Curls of raven sat upon his head. Free and unbothered with the expectations of conformity to match the rest of his clansmen. He held out something predominantly white.

Onigiri.

She realized. Itachi smiled as he took it with both hands. Shishui bit into his with gusto. Itachi watched him for a beat before he mimicked his older cousin's example.

Loris momentarily forgot to count down the minutes for the clock to tick the seconds away until the paper bombs went off in the air to denote the start of the matches as she watched the two boys.

xXx

"I'm so glad I spotted you. There's no reason for you to sit all alone with no one to keep you company when I'm here," he laid on - what he clearly thought was - charm thickly.

"Lucky me," she said dryly, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Masato shuffled over to make room for her clone. A clone that he had insisted sat next to him because he could not take a hint even if it slapped him across the face which she could never do. Not with the Kazekage right there like a silent statue that judged everything and everyone. He looked so much like Gaara that if she caught him from the corner of her eye she completely forgot that it was in fact Rasa and not his son.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Not only have you lost eyes and ears on Orochi but also sightlines on Danzo.

I'll just make another clone.

It would cost chakra but it was necessary.

"Why did she have to be here?" Kushina grumbled not nearly quietly enough. Her ire was thick enough to bite right out of the air.

"Kushina," Minato reprimanded her softly, patiently. "You saw Nakamura-san call her over," he angled his head toward his wife so that no one else would hear. Unfortunately, Loris was not included in "no one else" because she could very much hear. Every single one of Kushina's angry breaths. An impish glint settled in her eyes, not too differently than her future son's when a prank came to mind. Inspiration struck just like that, without warning.

"My, my, my, Sakura-san," Kushina leaned forward toward the slightly lower row in front of them, arms crossed over her chest.

What now?

Loris tried not to react. The ANBU next to her might notice. The Yondaime definitely would notice just as she saw the way his palm on his bent knee tightened a modicum. It was fitting that in what had been countless hours planning and accounting for everything both of them failed to account for this.

Her clone looked over her shoulder, head angled slightly up, expression bored. Even going as far as unfazed. Masato blinked in slow interest. The face Kushina wore promised trouble but then again, her opening her mouth to engage eliminated all doubt of the alternative.

"You certainly are a popular one, aren't you?" The Uzumaki smiled. It was far from kind or gentle. It was something she did not even know Kushina was capable of. Not that she knew her all too well.

Be good.

Loris held her breath, stomach in her throat.

Her clone kissed her teeth. "I hadn't noticed, Uzumaki-sama," she said airily before she turned back to look at the stadium without concern for decorum. Or rudeness for that matter. "Too busy saving lives," she mused as she folded her hands over her knee. Smiling prettily to herself, back straight, fortified with conviction that her words burned.

Kushina's expression darkened instantly, her cheeks puffed with the air of her disgruntlement. She turned her head away and clicked her tongue in what was to be interpreted as annoyance. Arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed as she glared at the gray concrete wall near the exit as if it had been the one to just insult her.

Serves her right. The woman can't just keep running her mouth with abandon.

The clone should have just left it alone. What good did embarrassing her do us?

Wake up, Sakura. Ino's not here. Someone's got to stand up for you. If you won't do it for yourself. Why not your clone? Huh? Why not your clone?

Loris pointedly avoided anyone's eyes as her teeth pinched together. It helped that they were all facing away from her.

"Speaking of which," Masato turned his body and tilted his head back to regard the stoic Yondaime as if nothing had happened. Or maybe he found something else to instigate. She waited for him to put his foot in his mouth. "How are you feeling, Hokage-sama? The injury must have been complicated if Sakura-san was unable to rejoin me for dinner."

And so he did. He put his big foot right in his big, fat mouth.

Kushina's head snapped in the direction of her husband, hair moving. Her violet eyes were particularly firing off bolts of electricity.

"She healed you?" Kushina's nostrils flared, completely indifferent to time and place as she spat out her question - her accusation. The volume of her voice rose, building with each syllable. "What happened to the head medic?" She demanded to know immediately. Her fist was clenched around the fabric over her thigh. Ready to strike without pause.

I would pay good money to see you put her in her place. Maybe we can change the schedule. The two of you can open for the day.

Inner!

Level heads need to prevail and Sakura for the life of her was torn between two options: acting and not acting.

Her clone cleared her throat, speaking before Minato could. His mouth had parted to do just that. "Uyeda-sama was unreachable," the clone explained calmly, addressing not the blond or the redhead but Masato, giving what was transpiring behind her no respect whatsoever. She tugged at the sleeve of her turtleneck. "And the injury wasn't complicated. I just had to purge the alcohol from my system," she smiled apologetically at the medic knowing he would understand. "That always leaves me not feeling great after the fact, that's why I didn't come back," she lied smoothly, convincingly. "It was simple. Hokage-sama was in and out in under ten minutes after that."

"Couldn't have been that simple," Kushina countered with directed heat, glaring at the clone's side profile. "His shoulder is still bothering him!" She accused loudly implying that maybe Sakura was not as good at her job as she thought. It was not subtle from the tone of her voice.

"My apologies, Uzumaki-sama, Hokage-sama," the clone bowed shallowly, lips quirked in the beginnings of a grimace. "Perhaps Uyeda-sama should take a look?" She washed her hands of it, presenting her back once more to the leader of the village and his wife.

"We will!" Kushina promised with a huff. Just as her expression promised that this was not over and she and Minato had some things to discuss when they got home.

"Apologies again, Hokage-sama for the trouble I caused," Rasa spoke deeming it the right time to do so, which happened to be for the first time in a number of minutes.

"I should be the one apologizing, Kazekage-sama," Minato chuckled sheepishly. "It appears my curiosity will cost me dearly."

"It seldom pays off," Rasa's lips barely moved. He did not look in the direction of the brooding redhead. "In my opinion, especially in matters such as this."

Is he seriously giving marriage advice right now?

I don't even know, Inner.

Masato leaned to the side, his breath was hot in her clone's ear. "So you're a lightweight huh?" He asked with a grin, green eyes glittering with nothing good. She could not keep up with the level of dysfunction all around her.

"Yep," the clone emphasized the sound of the "p" with a pop knowing full well that Masato's gaze was watching that part of her face closely with heightened interest. All that was missing was her clone pulling chapstick - or Kami forbid lipgloss - and casually putting it on, followed by a couple more pops. Just for the sake of it. Because what the hell? Why not be thorough when bringing about chaos?

A cloud of awkwardness descended down on them, unyielding. Loris wondered if it was possible to crawl into her skin and never crawl back out. Surely, the Sage would take pity on her. She tried her best. She really did.

You should have put the clone in disguise.

I needed him to see me. I needed him to know that I was watching him.

She explained to the one entity that knew everything. And now that was all backfiring and she was scrambling. She found herself wishing that the comms would screech in her ear with an update or something. Just for a second in her growing desperation to get out of this situation.

"Sensei! Loris!" Voices called out over the murmurs. Excitement rose in her along with hope. Three faces came racing up at them. They bowed to the Kazekage first before their own Kage, showing more knowledge for decorum than she had given them credit for.

"You're here too?" Obito asked her with sparkling eyes after he finally made his way to her.

"She's in the Hokage Guard and she trains Anko-chan. Why wouldn't she be here, Obito?" Rin asked him exasperated. They were out of the direct sightline of the Kazekage but not quite out of earshot, up by the wall. Loris did not miss the way the Kazekage or Masato flinched so subtly it was hardly there. That was definitely not in their scouting report. Masato turned around, his eyes were on her.

Her clone stood up abruptly. "Junji-san!" She waved her hand over her head frantically, pulling everyone's attention to her yet again. "Over here!" Sakura's clone said through cupped hands, completely out of touch that her voice was more than loud enough to carry without the help.

The man looked around from the stairs. Recognition lit up his face. He waved back nearly matching her clone's exuberance, continuing the trek up the steps, carefully.

Thank Kami.

She did not have it in her to witness what other can of worms Masato opened with his lack of tact and nose for sniffing out scandal. It was not her fault but she could not help feeling a little bad for what awaited Minato.

He should have let the Kazekage break his arm or visibly scar him.

Do you think that would have saved him? You're more of an optimist if you believe that. Maybe even to the point of delusion.

"Please make room, Masato-san," her clone looked at Masato expectantly. The man was too caught off guard to pose any resistance. He shuffled over with a grunt. The bleacher seating was not the easiest to fold his long limbs into.

Loris used that time to make the seals under her cloak, ignoring Kushina's sigh, eye roll, and not-so-quite passive-aggressive comment that was less passive and decided more aggressive - thankfully her clone did not engage which only made things worse somehow. Kushina was stewing in her anger. It was a marvel that her clone did not pop out of existence given the heat being targeted at her head. Loris tapped the shoulders of Team Seven.

"Go find your seats," she whispered to them, eyes on the merchant who had just home to settle next to her clone with a warm smile. Her sound seal burned into their skin. "Sit in the middle. Best seats in the house." She turned them around by the shoulders and gave Rin's one last pat.

She watched the bound off. Rin was talking excitedly about doing just as Loris suggested with Obito and Kakashi in each hand.

You're okay. Everything is okay.

She reclaimed her spot behind the Hokage's head. He looked at her over his shoulder with a curious expression. She nodded her head once, barely any movement. The stadium shook from the aftershocks of the paper bombs.

You got this, Anko-chan.

Loris turned most of her focus on the center of the stadium. The rest was split between the Kage, the sound seals, and the comms.

xXx

"Morino is the worst match-up for Heathen," Kakashi stated flatly. His dark eyes were focused on the match taking place. "Most of his attacks are long-range or mid-range. Heathen already used up her poisons that cover the most ground but he was able to skirt out of range of those. She can't evade forever. She's run out of chakra before she shows the judges anything. And she can't get close enough for her taijutsu. She wasted a lot of chakra on the Fire Dragon Technique that missed, all while losing the element of surprise."

"Kakashi-kun," Rin admonished him, eyes focused straight ahead. "Don't give up just yet. She still has her senbon. Her aim is as good as yours."

"Be realistic, Rin-chan," Obito's Sharingan spun lazily before deactivating. He reached for his eye drops from his pouch. Lubricating them. He blinked his eyes a couple of times, pulling the orange tinted goggles back over his eyes, the frown never left his face. "What can senbon do against everything Morino can?"

Rin shook her head in a clear unacceptance of reality. "Go, Anko-chan!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "You can do it!" She shouted through her cupped hands, oblivious of the eyes and looks she received.

Anko lifted her arm over her head. Rin held her breath.

"Is she giving up?" Kakashi leaned forward in his seat, gripping it to keep balance, as he asked.

"No way," Obito breathed in disbelief, eyes wide.

The girl with purple hair curled her fist, thumb pointed in the air.

Rin smiled large and bright as she sat back in her seat. "She's going to do it. She's gonna win!"

xXx

Loris stood still as she watched Anko dodge Ibiki's jutsu. Kakashi's assessment was spot on. Anko could not sustain this forever. Ibiki was methodical. He had backed Anko into a corner all without her realizing. Anko had fallen for every trap he set as she bull-rushed her way through.

Come on, kid. Figure out a way out of this mess.

Use your head, Anko-chan.

Loris narrowed her eyes. Orochimaru had moved to lean against the wall under the awning.

"I need to use the bathroom." Her clone shot up. She barely gave poor Junji time to stand before she walked past him. She did not apologize as she was practically climbing over people in her impatience.

Minato's gaze burned the clone's back.

xXx

"Did she…," the rest of Kakashi's question was eaten up by his hung open mouth. "Did she just miss?" He asked incredulously in a voice an octave higher than his usual pitch in disbelief at what he just witnessed.

"How?" Obito was out of his seat, just catching himself from face planting - he was leaning so far forward. "How?" He croaked again. "She finally got close enough to him to end this and threw over thirty senbon and all of them missed?!"

"No," Kakashi shook his head, recovering. "She knew if she incapacitated him now she didn't show the judges enough to pass."

"She didn't miss," Rin pointed, ignoring their eyes. They followed the path highlighted by her finger. "Look!" She exclaimed.

They did. Then sunshine down at the perfect angle revealing the dark wire strings interlaced, enough of them to form a net.

"She's making the field smaller!" Kakashi breathed the realization out loud just as Rin and Obito arrived to the same one.

The Uchiha grinned, cradling the back of his head in his hands. "Poison too!" He whistled low in his impression. "One nick and Morino is done for."

"Amazing, Anko-chan!" Rin cheered loudly, rising to her feet, cheering openly in her support. "Keep it up!"

"Oi!" A loud voice called out irately causing all three members of Team Minato to turn around to look at the man with a blue t-shirt stretched over his beer-belly. It was hanging on for dear life.. "Down in front!" He shouted at Rin.

Rin's face went red. "Sorry," she squeaked out before falling into her seat, hands moving to cover her face burning with embarrassment with her hair.

Obito and Kakashi exchanged a look. The Uchiha nodded in understanding. He pushed up his sleeves. "Oi!" Obito stepped onto the bleacher. "Say that again, Porky!"

"Obito," Rin reached for his wrist but Kakashi's voice had her stopping before she could get midway.

"Let it be, Rin. That man needs a lesson in manners," Kakashi's eyes crinkled in what was too innocent of a smile. "Heathen is on the move again. Pay attention before you miss something."

"R-Right," Rin turned back around pretending not to hear Obito stomp over any obstructions on his way to his path. His loud voice reprimanding the man - asking what was wrong with him and if he knew how to talk to a lady - brought a small smile to her face. Her cheeks heated for a completely different reason.

xXx

The clone wearing Sakura's face found him in the shadows, his yellow eyes sparkled just as the right side of his lips curled up in a smirk. A flash of white against the dark. She came to stand next to him. Her fingers wrapped around the cold metal bar that separated one level from the next.

"Enjoying yourself, Orochimaru-sama?" She asked pleasantly. Anko was on the move again, dodging and weaving her way away from Ibiki's intricate trap.

"Quite," he rasped as he leaned forward, his dark hair spilling over his shoulders. "I have to say I am disappointed."

"In the matchups?" Her green eyes flickered to his face. He was watching the match. His dark pupils were dilated. "I'm surprised. The matchup has resulted in very creative problem-solving so far. Entertaining."

"In the fact that you did not save me a seat," Orochimaru's words were broken up with breaths that she interpreted as chuckles. "I would not have minded picking your brain for your unique perspective."

"My apologies," she winced as Anko got hit by one of Ibiki's attacks, covering for her need to fidget. He did not let her put up another barrier, not completely. "The thought did not cross my mind. I should have been more considerate," she said with a level of feigned solemnness that surprised even her in how genuine it came across.

"Hm," he clicked his tongue in displeasure. "It is not often that you leave the walls of the hospital - your solitude - to be amongst the masses."

"I suppose we both are being a little out of character," she crossed her arms over the railing, leaning forward. Bare neck presented to him in a fearless taunt that was more than a little reckless. "Challenging ourselves, pushing past our comfort zones?" She offered with a turn of her head, gathering her hair to the otherside so his view of her smooth skin would not be impacted.

His tongue licked his bottom lip, tasting the air. Detecting notes of apprehension and excitement that were coming off the rambunctious crowd. He seemed to be savoring it.

"It appears so." His low voice almost sent a chill down her spine. "I am glad I ventured out of my cave, like you. There is much promise here."

"The future as you said, Orochimaru-sama, is bright," her clone smiled despite being almost dead behind the eyes. "Waiting to be nurtured and molded. Wouldn't you agree?"

He made a sound in his throat that she interpreted as agreement. He laughed, causing her to face him. She blinked in confusion.

"Never a dull moment around you, Sakura-chan. You always manage to amuse me." His yellow eyes held her in place. Temporary paralysis.

xXx

The announcer's voice boomed. Loris looked at the panting Anko on the large television screen. She had just about reached the limit, seconds away from hitting the wall.

"That poor girl," Junji pulled his glasses from his face. He started to clean them with his handkerchief to give himself an excuse to look away.

"You're a civilian?" Masato asked with discernible disgust, pausing from stuffing his face with popcorn.

"Lumber merchant," Junji smiled easily. He held out his hand. "Tezuka Junji, Nakamura-san. Nice to officially meet you."

Masato's eyebrows touched his hairline. "How do you know who I am?" He asked, perturbed.

Junji's smile warmed. "I know everyone," he chuckled at the expression the medic wore. "It's my job to know. I look forward to seeing more of you and your village."

"Why would you be doing that?" Masato's lips settled into a frown just as his brows folded into lines.

"You'll see," Junji turned back to the match. He sighed heavily. "Poor, poor girl." His mind could not help but think that she was not that much older than his precious Lilly.

"Weirdo," Masato scoffed loudly.

Loris's eyes narrowed. Anko was on the move, running as fast as she could, reaching for her hip pouch to close the distance in an all-out blitz.

What are you going to do now, Anko-chan?

The answer came not even a minute later. Anko, in a truly boneheaded move, strapped the rest of her poisons on her person and blew herself up. With a paper bomb. She used the force of the explosion to extend the blast radius of her poison. Rendering both her and Ibiki unable to proceed.

A streak of pink raced to the center of the training ground, pulling nearly everyone's eyes. Her clone had jumped over the railing, leaving Orochimaru on his own and down onto the field without any hesitation or regard for anything other than Anko's wellbeing. Consequences be damned. There was not a better medic in the stadium - hell, in the world. If Anko was still alive, her clone would keep her that way. If she was still alive. Loris's heart was stammering in her chest. If she was still alive.

Please. Please. Please. Please.

It was pin-drop silence. Everyone was holding their breath. No one had died in the exams. Her stomach twisted painfully to the point she felt moisture in the back of her eyes.

Please. Please. Please. Please.

Loris pleaded. She watched her clone start to pump her chakra into the limp, boneless girl.

Everyone exhaled at the same time.

Loris nearly collapsed then and there in relief, not even registering the medics in the all-white uniforms that ran onto the field with two stretchers and glowing hands to begin healing Ibiki. Her clone barked out orders.

How did Kakashi-sensei do this? For all those years?!

Loris shook her head. Willing herself to just stop sweating.

Don't lock your knees. She reminded herself.

---

The machine beeped in a predictable cadence. There was a beep. Then there was the sound of a plastic bag inflating. Followed by the sound of deflating. A small chest rose and fell in accordance.

Beep. Inhale. Exhale.

Beep. Expand. Contract.

Beep. In. Out.

Loris sat at the window, leg dangling from the perch, back pressed against the glass. She watched her sleep. She was always sleeping. She was much too quiet. The room was too quiet. The colors were so muted. The contrast was stark. The lilies, sunflowers, and wildflowers that sporadically broke up the monotony of the room were not enough to breathe life into it. How could they? The flowers themselves had been facing the direction of death. So that was why she suggested a plant, one that was green, growing, and alive. Rin had jumped at the idea.

Loris surveyed the room. Her chakra moved in and out like lazy waves. No one was coming. The nurse would not be back for another hour to check Anko's vitals. Vitals that she, herself, was monitoring every minute. Every second. Every glance.

He won't get you, Anko-chan. I won't let him touch you.

It was a hollow sentiment but it was all she had. It was all she had to combat the guilt - the culpability she felt for orchestrating this massive failure of a plot that ended with Anko in a coma - she held. Orochimaru did not fall for her snake trap that she laid out for him. She failed to make him feel cornered enough to strike while he still could. He was very much still in control of it all.

I've got you. You're safe.

For now. What would happen if her mission got in the way? What would happen if she had to choose? What happened to her to think that this was okay? In what world could what she did possibly be okay?

Beep. Expand. Contract.

Loris closed her eyes and listened to the machine breathe for her student, clutching at what remained of her sanity. Wondering. Questioning. Sinking.

---

He stopped writing his closing address for the exams the second her feet touched down on the green carpet. Minato sat back in his chair, blue eyes sharp and focused on her mask.

"How is she?" He asked the same question for the past few days.

"The same," Sakura provided the same answer. "Alive."

"Good," he nodded his head, lowering his eyes to the paperwork for much too short of time to have it meant anything. "You got to her in time," he repeated. But like all those times before, it did nothing to assuage the guilt lodged inside of her. The guilt she may never be able to shed in this form, in this life.

"I'm going to go check on her again in a little bit," she stated what they both already knew. It had become her routine of sorts. She was actually taking her lunch break to sit with the comatose twelve-year-old.

"Let me know if she needs anything," his eyes found hers through the mask. "If you need anything." If the hospital needed anything to help Anko and the handful of other Genin who were staying there, including a third of the Suna kids, is what he meant. Kids that both the Kage received daily updates on from the Head Medic.

"Thank you," she licked her lips. Chapped and dry. Left raw from her teeth working them without break.

"I saw you talking to Orochimaru-sama during Anko-chan's matchup."

Of course, you did.

"Is there something I should know?" Minato asked her levelly, eyes studying her closely. Mouth set in the line of concentration. All the while she did not react visibly.

"Not at this time." She shook her head once signaling the end. He was not dumb. He was not oblivious. He knew something was off with Jiraiya going to the capital for when the next Hokage was named. He did not buy the same tagline of Jiraiya - a respectable Hokage candidate himself - showing support for his former Sensei and former pupil. He had his suspicions. Suspicions that he had never really openly voiced. His question was the closest he had come to date.

"How are things at home?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," he closed the door on the topic not unkindly but firmly. "I put myself in that situation." He did. He should have been honest with his wife about who healed him. He should never have pulled Sakura from her dinner. He should not have sparred with the Kazekage. He should have done things differently. Much differently.

"Okay," she stared at her boots, knowing every second she stayed in this room was one less second she could be in the other. The one where a machine breathed for the small frame wrapped in white hooked up to machines and IVs. The only splash of color was the purple of her hair, nearly the same shade as the bruising on her face.

"She's going to be fine," he said gently, full of assurance.

Sakura hummed in agreement. Neither commented on how it sounded closer to a whimper.

---

Eyes the color of jade made slate by the monochromatic light, were revealed as silver lashes parted frantically. She stirred awake, fighting the way her body seemed to lock in on itself. Her limbs were heavy. The air was ice. The cold stabbed her insides with every breath she took. She could see it in front of her, the efforts of her labor.

Move!

The voice - her voice - in her head screamed.

Something's wrong!

Her heart slammed against her ribcage, heard in her ear drum so loudly she was sure it would rupture. She blinked focus into her eyes. Her pink hair was like a curtain all around her. Suffocating her. She could not see properly - her peripherals were covered by it. Why did she keep her hair long?

Sasuke-kun likes girls with long hair!

He liked my kaachan's hair, Sakura-chan! He loved the part she hated most about herself!

Focus!

She breathed through her mouth. A cloud of white air grew more translucent the further it moved from her. She reached her hand for her kunai holster. She pulled it to her, to her chest.

Beep. In. Out.

She scanned the room, moving in a slow circle. Her back was to the bed.

Beep. Inhale. Exhale.

Her bare feet could feel every speck of dirt, hair, and texture underfoot. The tiles were so cold. Her legs were covered in goosebumps everywhere her shorts did not warm.

Beep. In. Out.

She turned around. Everything froze. Even her blood. For only a moment.

"Get away from her!" She snarled, feral in her need to protect the unresponsive girl.

His eyes were somehow still yellow despite the silver tint to everything else. His skin popped against his dark clothing and hair. He pulled from the shadows like a wraith, stark against the light gray wall. He brushed the swollen skin of Anko's cheek with the back of his knuckle, tenderly. Licking his lips with his thick, purple tongue.

"Don't you fucking touch her!" She threw the kunai with a shaky hand. It landed haplessly, thudding off the wall and clattering to his feet.

He did not look impressed. He smiled at her. Her knees nearly went out on her. Sakura grabbed the edge of the bed to keep upright.

"Sakura-chan," he said her name breathily. His eyes darkened with something she did not expect. "You have me all wrong."

"I'm going to kill you," she promised. Or she would die trying. It did not matter. All that mattered was that he died. Tonight. Right here.

Beep. Expand. Contract.

"Get. Away. From. Her," she growled, not recognizing her own voice.

"Only because you asked so nicely," he smirked.

She blinked. He was gone. She ran to Anko, nearly doubling over. A gasp left her throat. Before a whimper. An arm snaked around her front, pinning her against a cold chest.

Beep. In. Out.

She could not struggle. She could not move. She was frozen. Only to blink and breathe.

"Sakura-chan," Orochimaru tutted in disappointment. "You teased me with your neck," the tip of his tongue pressed against the side right at the base.

"N-No," she breathed in terror.

"Where's the teasing now?" He asked with a pout.

"Fuck off," she spat, her eyes contained all the venom in her person.

He chuckled. She felt the vibrations against her back.

"You can't have her," she vowed in juxtaposition to her state of helplessness. She could not defend herself from a fly landing on her.

"That's fine," Orochimaru's hand came to palm her forehead. The arm around her stomach tightened. "You're the one I wanted."

"W-wha-"

He sank his teeth into her neck.

Pink lashes popped open. Loris blinked, not moving.

Beep. Inhale. Exhale.

I dozed off? Inner…how did you let me doze off?

You need sleep, Sakura. You'll die without it.

How could you let me sleep?!

She did not wait for an answer that would not come. She crossed the room. Anko's chest rose and fell. Her own heartbeat was sporadic. She watched Anko's predictable one to try to encourage hers to fall in line. A strangled silent cry left her throat.

A pinky twitched on the blue sheets.

Loris pumped her chakra, waiting for her clone to arrive.

Beep. In. Out.

---

"Of all the reckless, stupid, boneheaded things I've seen as a medic, yours takes the cake!" Sakura glowered at the girl. "Tell me, was it worth it? Blowing yourself up to get a draw?!"

"Yep," Anko beamed through the layers and layers of bandages. Only her right eye was visible. "My nose itches," Anko wrinkled it to demonstrate.

"Itch it yourself! Oh, wait. You can't. Both your arms are broken!" The Sakura-clone's hands found her hips.

"So heal them. Aren't you supposed to be a good healer or something?" Anko challenged.

"It doesn't work that way. Your whole system is shot. If you ever want to mold chakra again, you need to let your body heal back up naturally until you have at least fifty percent of your chakra network back. At this rate, if I heal you, you will have more of my chakra in your body and your reserves will never fill up again. Are you even listening to me?" Sakura huffed in anger.

"I trust you," Anko blinked slowly, bored. "You seem to know what you're doing." She looked around with a frown - as much as she could. "Can I have more pudding?"

"No!" Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. She stared at the windowsill and it was no longer empty. She glared at the ANBU. "You try talking some sense into her."

Loris looked at the mummy in the bed. Her stomach dropped to her toes and her heart lurched with guilt. Always without delay or failure, it always happened when she looked at Anko.

"How are you feeling, Anko-chan?" She asked gently, much to her clone's dismay.

"Never better," Anko grinned as much as she could with nearly all of her in a bandage. "Angry lady says I got messed up bad."

"I can see that," Loris exchanged a look with her clone who looked close to ripping Anko apart so thoroughly that even she would not be able to put her back together.

"Did you hear anything?" Anko asked her hopefully. Her question had even the clone stilling and momentarily stopping her angry picking up and slamming of things around the room. It had been a long couple of weeks.

"These things take time, Anko-chan," Loris sighed, unhappy that she was disappointing the girl yet again even if it was on a much smaller scale. "Even longer with the added complication of a visiting Kage."

"He hasn't left yet?" Anko frowned at the thought. Her coma lasted three days. "Is he planning on moving here?"

"They left five days ago. We got word that they arrived back in Suna via the official Suna bird." They had one now given the trade treaty was finalized. Representatives from Suna would be coming over in the coming months to train the botanists and medics here how to take care of the plants that were agreed upon.

"How do you think I did? Did I do enough?" Anko wrinkled her nose. "It itches!" She whined, voice breaking into exaggerated, fake crying.

Loris sighed. She reached over and began to scratch Anko's nose. The girl let out a sound of relief. Smiling lopsidedly.

"Beyond blowing yourself up?" Loris asked rhetorically, not pausing long enough for the girl to retort. Her clone might just take herself out if she did. "Which was very reckless by the way. That will hurt your chances, not help. No one wants that big of a wildcard out there."

Anko deflated. "I'm good. Thanks, Loris-sensei. You're so nice. Some people could learn a thing or two from you," she glared at the clone in clear annoyance and displeasure at the quality of her care.

"Does that include you?" The clone asked flippantly.

Anko stuck her tongue out at her probably because she could not default to showing her the finger, before addressing her sensei. "It was a risk but I thought it would be outweighed by creativity and bravery. I was resourceful," Anko pointed out, reminding Loris that was a quality that was coveted.

"In blowing yourself up," Sakura shook her head and tutted. "That might just have failed you on the spot. It was egregious enough. I would have done that if I were a judge."

"You don't mean it," Anko said dismissively. "She doesn't mean it right?" Purple eyes stared at the red and white mask with all the precursors of panic.

"We won't know until we know. No use worrying about it now," Loris patted her leg. Also wrapped in bandages. "Ibiki-kun is up and about on crutches," she paused. "I expect you to apologize to him."

"If he were an enemy-"

"He is not," Loris cut off Anko's self-righteous speech with three short words. "What you did was reckless not only for you, but you put his career in danger too. He deserves an apology from you. And I expect you to give him one. Be accountable for your actions, Anko-chan."

The girl sighed. "Fine." She pouted only to grimace. "I'm tired now. Can I go back to sleep?"

"Yes," Sakura and Loris said together. "Can I talk to you outside, ANBU-san?" Her clone gestured to the door with her head.

Loris nodded her head. She smoothed the covers around Anko after pulling them up the girl's chin. She ran her hand over Anko's bandage-flattened hair. The back of her gloved fingers grazed over Anko's cheek in a feather-light touch so different from the snake-man in her dreams - her nightmares - had done. The girl's soft snores filled the room.

Loris was careful to not make any noise as she exited, not before leaving a box with three sticks of hanami dango where Anko could find them. Someone could come around to help her eat them - holding a stick was still not on Anko's list of abilities at the moment. Something she too felt guilty about. The clone was waiting for her in an empty room across the hall. The silence seal hummed into place the second the door closed behind Loris.

"Anything?" She asked her clone.

The clone shook her head. "The only visitors she had were Team Seven. He hasn't shown his face. But, Sakura the way he was looking at her when I locked eyes with him as they were carrying her off in the stretcher…it was the same way he looked at you after your Jonin Examination. He is definitely interested."

You were right. The Chunin Exam was where she caught his eye.

Because where else would their paths have met?

"But using her as bait," the clone was genuinely concerned. "We can only watch her for so many hours, for so many days." Unlike them, Sakura - the real one - needed sleep. Even if she pretended not to.

"She's only bait if we let him touch her," Loris said sharply, refusing to see reason or her nightmare become her reality. "He won't get close enough to breathe on her. We won't let it happen."

I won't let that happen.

"Right," the clone pulled her hair out of the loose ponytail. Her fingers began to work at the dent left behind. "The seal you put on her will react instantly if his chakra is within a yard of her. She'll be safe. The kids visit her every day; they don't have missions."

And she watched her at night. Anko had around-the-clock coverage.

"Good," Loris nodded her head, pleased. "She needs people. She needs a support system. She needs friends around, people."

The clone frowned but did not say anything else.

"She'll pass," Loris sighed deeply. "She just has to." She did not know what would happen if she did not. The girl had been desperate enough to go to such lengths to pass that whatever fallout that would come if she did not would not be pretty. Not one bit.

It would be a week later when Anko's chakra coils were still at thirty-six percent and all her limbs were still broken that the official result came in. Mitarashi Anko was officially a Chunin. And Morino Ibiki - the Genin who had control of the matchup all the way until the end - was not.

---

She brought the small white ceramic saucer to her lips, holding it there as she grimaced. It took no less than several seconds for her to gather the resolve to open the barrier of pink flesh and tilt her head back. The bitter, vile, thick clear liquid burned all the way down. She could feel it doing a number on her stomach. Sakura pressed her index finger against her mouth, willing it to stay down.

Sakura?

I'm here. She sighed softly as she returned the saucer to the edge of the tub. The scroll in her hands had become nothing more than a prop. She had stopped reading the words minutes ago.

I'm listening. She assured Inoichi that he was not wasting his time.

Like I was saying, chakra can be used to wipe out the memory cells, clearing them. It has to be done cleanly otherwise you run the risk of bleeding and that can damage memories in other cells. Or lead to incomplete wipes where there are traces of the memories still left over. If it's done crudely enough those cells can be damaged beyond repair, meaning….

Permanent loss of that memory cell. Sakura finished off in her head. I'm not worried about the wiping process. Her chakra control made it essentially trivial.

So what are you worried about?

Finding the memories. Sakura pulled a knee towards her. She did not notice the sound of the water or the way it rippled. How can I be sure I find all the right cells? And only the right cells?

There was a long pause before Inoichi's voice filled her head once again.

Intent is everything. Confidence is everything. I have to have a clear intention when I enter someone's mind forcefully. If I do not, I can quickly find myself at the mercy of someone else's mind.

She hummed. She knew that well. She had turned Ino's jutsu against her. It had been such an unpleasant experience that Ino never tried to pay her brain a visit ever again without permission.

But you are a holistic entity, separate and capable of cognitive thought when you take over someone's mind. Chakra is not. Even with the purposeful intention of what I want when I cast the jutsu…I have my doubts.

I'm not explaining this well. Inoichi sounded annoyed with himself.

You're doing a better job than I ever could. She tried to alleviate some of the self-blame. For one of them anyway. It's just different.

Now you know how I felt when you went on your long spiel about medical ninjutsu. Trust me, Sakura. A clear head and purposeful intent. That's all there is to you. You already have a steady hand and good control.

Hm. Thanks, Inoichi.

Look, Sakura. I'm not going to ask because I don't want to know. But do let me know if there's anything else I can do.

She smiled as she dug the heel of her palm into her sternum. She moved it closer to where her heart was. Everything felt like it was on fire.

I will. Thank you.

She closed the connection momentarily, just enough to break it. She sighed. Her chest rose and fell. She brought the scroll back to the center of her attention. The bathwater had grown tepid but her thoughts were generating enough interest for her to not notice.

---

The checkpoints marked with her chakra were the furthest thing from her mind as she felt the pressure continuously closing the distance. Her face started to sting with the sensation of phantom cuts; cuts that had yet to be carved into her. She shifted her weight to the balls of her foot. The added agility made her feel marginally better but like the cuts, it was all perceived.

The funnel of air hissed and groaned as it whirled toward her with every intention of sucking her in. She could see the rocks, twigs, leaves, and other small debris caught in its vortex.

Focus!

She reminded herself harshly in her head, trying to get something going in terms of strategy.

"Don't panic." Somehow his calm, quiet voice cut through the howl of the wind and the muddling of her thoughts. "Don't give into your instincts."

She nearly snorted. And there lay the problem. She was going against her instincts. Because everything was screaming at her to get away by any means necessary from the imminent pain that she was staring down. There was no winning against nature. Especially not with wind; not with her natural affinities. And then was there the tiny detail of her being marked. The funnel was designed to follow her, her chakra signature. So the only way she could outrun it was to Hiraishin. The only way. Because Shushin, as fast as it was, still left traces of her chakra. She was not in two places at once but rather in one place very quickly. There was nothing to throw the jutsu off. A jutsu that was only gaining speed. Because with the Hiraishin she was in neither place at once. She was on a completely different plane. And that separation, the split second, was enough to make her disappear. It made her untraceable. All the way until she needed to reappear.

"Think," he stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Be intentional with your thoughts. Align them with your actions. Clear your head of everything but your intent and your target."

Sakura exhaled slowly. She brought her hands into a Ram Seal. She focused on the checkpoint. It was about seven yards away in the middle of the clearing. She could see the dark ink-like stain made permanent with her chakra. The seal that would outlast her. She was unaware that she was clenching her teeth together. Slowly, she was being pulled away. The familiar sensation of her stomach dropping and dropping and dropping with no clear estimate of when it would hit the bottom overcame her.

The cyclone swallowed more air.

xXx

She leaned into the tree with her palms. She inhaled air greedily as she stared down at her feet. Her whole world was still very much disoriented. She was caught somewhere between tangible and intangible. Her legs shook but she remained on her feet.

"Good," his voice came from behind her. Over her shoulder. "You were able to chain four Hiraishin right after the other. You're even more efficient than me. You'll find your legs faster with more reps." He looked off into the distance as she continued to recalibrate herself. The time required for that would go down with practice. The burnt orange hues of the sky darkened everything. The early minutes of twilight would be on them soon. "We'll pick this up tomorrow."

Sakura straightened before she turned around. Her stance was closed off now that she had regained every bit of control of her body. "We won't need to do this tomorrow."

"Oh?" He raised a brow. "You're close but often the last five to ten percent takes the longest."

"I'll figure it out," she looked down at her hands. "I will figure it out." She would spend all night if she had to. "I've taken up enough of your time, Hokage-sama." The other guards were still behind her in terms of development. They had yet to figure out their own signatures. None of them had the same background in sealing. The learning curve was steeper for them. They needed his attention more.

He closed the distance so fast that if she did not know any better she would have thought he used the Hiraishin. All she could do was press her back against the rough bark of the tree to try to maintain some gap. Her eyes widened as he pressed his thumb to her mask, right where her Byakugo was hidden away by a thin layer of genjutsu.

"Go home," he said in a low voice that had little room for argument. "You're being reckless. Between your training and the double shifts you and your clone are pulling at the hospital, you're constantly pulling away at your chakra." The disapproval was palpable. "Learn to take it easy on occasion before you kill yourself."

The shock from it all was starting to recede just enough for her to formulate coherent sentences. "I'm fine." She pooled chakra to her forehead. So much so that he felt the jolt through her mask, he lowered his hand in quiet acceptance of her not-quite-hospitable request.

"I don't believe you." He crossed his arms and frowned.

"Your trust issues aren't my problem," she shot back. Okay so maybe she was not fully coherent yet. Something about this dynamic brought out the worst in her.

"I believe they are, Loris." He countered her agitation with a collective calm. "I can revoke your privileges in the hospital at any time."

Sakura pressed the tip of her tongue to the bottom of her cheek. Her fingers moved to the left shoulder clasp of her armor. Once it was hanging she moved to the right. She tossed her chest plate to the side. It landed haplessly on the patchy grass.

"Beat me fairly," she hissed the last word, "and I'll consider listening." She did not take to idle threats well.

"No," Minato shook his head. "If I beat you, you take the rest of today and all of tomorrow off. Completely."

Sakura sighed. She did not see the harm as she had no intention of losing. "A max of three Hiraishin each. No chakra scalpel. No Sage Mode," she laid out the terms calmly.

"No Byakugo. No summons. And four Hiraishin each," he counter-offer. His eyes reflected the waning sun like sapphires.

"Fine," she shrugged. "But when I win, you will not interfere with my training or my work. Again," she finished with a clipping tone.

"Deal." He flashed.

Sakura rolled her shoulders and set her face in a grim line. Lip twitching in anticipation of a strike she would have to counter before she could see.

---

Anko bounced on her knees, bobbing up and down, feet always moving, constantly. She pushed forward leading a strike with her left fist one that Loris countered. The girl panted. Sweat dripped off of her brow and onto the grass. Glistening. Her next attack was slower and easier to dodge than the one before.

"That's enough for now," Loris straightened out of her defensive stance. "You're still in the early stages of your recovery. We don't want to push too hard," she dusted her hands free of the thin layer of dirt that lined the black gloves.

Hypocrite.

"For the hundredth time," Anko pushed her bangs away from her eyes with a groan. They clumped up together, darkened with her sweat. "I'm fine! I want to keep going. Don't underestimate me!"

Loris dodged a clumsy attack. Anko recovered and set her stance. There were no plans to quit anywhere on her person.

Sakura, you need to have your words line up with your actions. The girl is observant. You think she doesn't notice how you work all morning and day, and barely sleep at night? The nights you train her? Work with her? Watch over her?

Imagines of Anko's body falling backward - hurled at speed - filled her mind. She had been so still. So red. So bloody. So corpse-like. Her clone's memories saw all the angles that she did not. It saw all the details that the TV resolution failed to capture. The gore and the gruesomeness of it all. Anko had blown herself up. It had been even worse than what future Sakura did against Sasori. She wondered how Chiyo managed to keep her wits about her after witnessing that.

She looks up to you. She wants to emulate you. Right or wrong. Words are not going to discourage her. Words mean nothing to her.

Actions did. Actions were what resonated with Anko more than anything. Because words were cheap and hollow. Anyone could make promises. But actions, actions spoke to intent. Actions spoke to thought. Actions spoke to commitment.

Don't teach her all your bad habits along with everything else.

Loris sighed, pushing the conflict down and away for now. Sealed. She grunted when Anko's fist collided with her ribs.

"It landed?" Anko blinked in surprise, pulling her fist closer to her face. She stared at it bewildered. "Sensei," her mouth hung open. "I hit you! I actually hit you!"

"You did," Loris ran her finger down her side. The brat had hit her where the chest plate did not cover. "And as you reward you get to pick what we do for the rest of the session." She held up her index finger denoting the girl should wait. Anko closed her mouth animatedly. "Provided that it doesn't involve anything strenuous or forbidden. I reserve the right to veto," she added the caveats to the deal.

"That's dumb," Anko huffed, crossing her arms. "You just gave me more work. Now I have to think of something on the spot with you just staring at me."

"I could turn around," Loris shifted her weight on her feet, bringing a hand to her hip. "Do you think that will help?"

"No," Anko rolled her eyes.

"There's nothing you ever wanted to do or try that fits the limitations?" Her green eyes looked around the clearing. "Nothing at all?"

Anko's cheeks turned pink. She suddenly looked very unsure of herself as she traced a circle in the grass with her sandal-clad foot, hand clasped behind her back.

"Out with it," she pressed knowing full well that was the only way to prevent Anko from clamping up.

"Can we get tea?" Anko asked in a small voice.

"Tea?" She blinked behind her mask. "Like a proper one?"

Anko nodded, embarrassed.

"Go find Rin-chan. Her shift at the hospital is ending soon. The three of us will go. We'll even rent kimonos for the two of you if you want?"

Anko nodded her head but with enthusiasm this time. "I want! I want!" Her eyes glimmered with excitement.

Loris laughed. "Go."

"You're the best, Loris-sensei!" Anko said over her shoulder. She had taken off running not wanting to waste a second.

Her jade-colored eyes softened.

---

The water rocked by her ears in soft movements but caused loud distortions. She stared up at the dark sky. There was not a single star. Even the moon was in its last phases before the cycle began all over again.

How would you do it, Sakura?

She blinked her eyes closed, heavily.

I wouldn't want them to find my body.

She could not do that to anyone. But her motives were far from completely altruistic. She did not want anyone else making the connection. It would make everything all the more complicated. Messy.

Maybe just this? I tie a weight - a boulder to my chest - and just let myself sink.

It certainly would be symbolic. And of all the ways going, drowning is not the worst.

I'd be scared the whole time. Too scared to think of anything.

The time in Orochimaru's hideout came to her mind. The tears. The hysteria. It would take minutes for her to die this way.

You'd have to leave Konoha. This lake is too shallow. They'd find your body eventually and maybe within days if not hours.

It was true. The lake had fish no bigger than her index finger. That was it. It would take them much too long to pick her skin off her bones. And then there was her hair. It was distinctive.

I like the water. It lends me its tranquility.

So drowning is out.

We have time.

She sighed, expelling all air from her lungs as she sank into the water. Falling deeper and deeper in. Sakura crossed her legs at the bottom. Jade-colored eyes were open as she counted exactly how long it would have taken her to die if this method was still on the table.

Just for her curiosity's sake.

---

S,

I managed to eliminate a few of the candidates from the list. I am actively still investigating the others when I can. 'When I can' is the operative phrase. It's bad here. Really bad. The people are starving. This inflation is the worst in their history.

There is something else you should know, I have heard murmurs of rogue shinobi who are dissatisfied with the ceasefires and peace treaties that were forged between the various lands. It seems that only one truly came out stronger after the war. Everyone else is still bleeding. These rogues might be working together. None of this is corroborated. But you know how I feel about coincidences. My current situation prevents me from dictating time to this. It would be a great help if you could take this up.

T.G.J.

Sakura scanned the encoded scroll for the third time. She could read the ciphertext as quickly as if it were plaintext. Jiraiya was paranoid. Even with their communication method, he added another layer with his encryption, a layer of security. And he even went as far as being vague in his messages. Frustratingly vague.

"That's it?" She asked Toshi with tinges of it bleeding into her voice.

"That's all person," Toshi bobbed his head once. "He didn't say anything this time."

"Nothing?" She pressed. "Nothing about this gang of ragtags?"

"Potentially, allegedly," the toad corrected her. "You lose all the some you do not win."

Sakura raised a brow. She shook the scroll in her hand. "This is practically nothing."

"Don't skewer the messenger toad!" He huffed, crossing his arms and blinking slowly.

She was so aggravated that she did not even correct him. He had come so close to the right phrase this time. She ran a hand through her hair as she resumed pacing.

Toshi looked at the sack of coins on her desk. "Ryo marked with the crest of Hi? How will that help in Ame?"

"Hi's currency is the strongest in all the lands," Sakura explained without looking at him or breaking her stride. The constant motion helped her feel like she was making progress even if she was going nowhere. "Any smuggler, trader, shopkeeper, sleazy two-bit businessman will happily take it at a heavily reduced conversion rate. But it's better than nothing. Be sure that Jiraiya gets it and understands it for the orphans." She gestured to the smaller pouch. "That's his fun money." Because she knew that he could only go so long without and she would much rather fund his extracurriculars herself in a controlled way than have him take from the orphans' pool.

"You got it, ma'am." He gave her a mock salute and had she been in a slightly better mood she would have found it kind of adorable. "Anything else that I should tell him?"

"Help is coming."

---

"This blows!" Anko fell onto her back in a way that made Loris more than a little envious. The ANBU was much too old to be pulling moves like that. Anko pulled her knees up as she flattened her palms on the grass.

"You like missions," Loris reminded her impassively.

"Not missions that last for four months! With my team! And my idiot of a sensei! And in freaking Suna! I'm going to get sand in places where there never should be sand!" She complained loudly and with anguish. "With the possibility of it becoming indefinite!" Anko groaned, covering her eyes with her curled fists. "Why does Hokage-sama hate me?" There was a pause. Anko sat up, holding her ankles and glaring at Loris. "You!" She pointed with narrowed eyes. "You did this."

"Are you," Loris spoke slowly and clearly, "suggesting that I approached Hokage-sama with the request of putting you and your team in charge of a flagship, historical project - the first of its kind - where a merchant from Hi helps rebuild Suna? A project that is instrumental in forming ties between two formally warring states. A project whose failure will no doubt mean war. That one?"

"Yeah," Anko scratched the side of her neck. The gears in her mind turned; the way her eyes sharpened reflected that.

"And you think that I thought you are the best person to send off in such circumstances? That you are the most obvious choice? Because you're so emotionally stable and diplomatic and make good decisions that are rarely brash and half-cocked? And that the Hokage listened to me and ultimately agreed?" Loris asked her pointedly in a manner that communicated just how far fetched it was, despite it being one hundred percent the truth.

Her plan did not work. Orochimaru did not bite - figuratively and literally. So she needed Anko away and safe from the snake man. She needed Anko to be as far from the bases and Hi as possible. She needed someone else to be accountable for her well-being for a little while. She needed Anko in Suna. And thankfully Minato did not fight her.

"Uh," Anko cleared her throat. "Forget I said anything."

"Are you all packed?" Loris asked pleasantly. Her cloak rippled in the slight breeze. "Don't harass the scorpions or the rattlers. Suna has a limited amount of anti-venom. Don't make them use it on you."

"I'm more of a 'pack an hour before' kind of girl," Anko yawned loudly. Her jaw clicked. "And you worry too much. It's just a land surveying mission. The worst thing that can happen to me is dying of boredom or a beam falling on my head if the universe takes mercy first." Her face settled into a scowl. "I'm going to have to see all those Sand-babies again."

Kami. I owe Minato for this.

In what world do you owe him anything? This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. Suna sent over their own loose cannon first. We're just returning the favor.

"Promise me you'll try your best - not just a little - to stay out of trouble, to not make anyone cry even if you think they deserve it, Anko-chan," Loris could not quite filter out all the worry from her tone. "Remember you're going to be the face of Konoha when you're out there. Your actions reflect not just on yourself but your home as well."

"I know, I know," Anko pulled at the grass underfoot, avoiding all kinds of eye contact with the ANBU. "No pressure or anything," she grumbled with bitterness from the weight of the responsibility. She cocked her head up, eyes blinking in surprise.

"You're going to do great," Loris smiled at her behind her mask, voice carrying the lightness. "Don't be afraid to make friends. Don't be afraid to show people who you are. Don't forget to have fun. This is an amazing opportunity to learn so much about different methods, ingredients for poison bases, philosophies, and backgrounds." She ruffled the girl's hair with fondness. "Just don't go finding a new teacher for yourself." She lowered her hand from Anko's head to her shoulder, squeezing twice.

The girl placed her hand over Loris's. "No way, Sensei." Her eyes contained only solemn promise. "You're stuck with me."

Loris chuckled. "I can live with that." She clapped her hands just to give herself something to do. Her brain was still spinning, out of concern, guilt, trepidation, anxiousness, and everything else. The cyclone was pushing more words out of her faster than her head could keep up. "Drink a lot of water. Dehydration sneaks up with you especially when you're going to be outside a lot. Take a hat. The biggest one you have. Be sure to keep up with your readings, there is bound to be a lot of downtime. Make the most of it. You can continue your training there. Safely," she stressed the word. "Go home and pack properly. Don't make your lack of preparation someone else's problem. Now."

"No fun." And with that, Anko rose to her feet and begrudgingly listened to her sensei.

Be safe, Anko-chan.

She watched her leave with a knot in her stomach.

---

"I don't see the correlation." He leaned back onto his purple chair. His elbow was propped on his desk. His hand was curled into a loose fist as he regarded her with calm, emotionless eyes. He perfected the Hokage face.

"People, women, children, the elderly, civilians," Sakura listed, "are hurting. They are suffering. This could be seen as extending the olive branch. Ame has resources that can be very valuable for trade for Konoha, for Hi. If we help them, they will most likely be more receptive to future trade talks. If their economy stabilizes that is one less nation that is willing to risk that to go to war. Having allies is a good thing. A really good thing. And the more, the better." She appealed to his humanity.

She took his silence as a cue to keep going. "And if this goes well, I can go to Kiri and do the same. The new Mizukage is more receptive than the ones in the past. I can help train their medics and set up mobile clinics. A channel of communication can be opened. I need you to make it official." She paused and seemingly thought it would help her case to add an utterance of, "Hokage-sama," to punctuate her request.

"You are a part of the Hokage's guard," he reminded her. "You go where the Hokage is. And that's neither Kiri or Ame."

"This is why you chose five instead of four for your guard. So that your guard could withstand absences, was it not?" She asked him rhetorically, ignoring Inner's loud snort. "Four-man squads are by far the most efficient. What holds true for Genin, Chunin, and Jonin squads holds true for ANBU. The Guard can handle me being gone for a bit. It will be a good test." Sakura paused to gauge his receptiveness. He was not happy but he did not argue. That was something so she kept pushing. "I am also a medic. I can help." She breathed in deeply. "Let me help."

I owe Kiri a debt. One I need to repay while I still can.

"It can be seen as an act of collusion, sending you to Kiri. The village was responsible for atrocities against Iwa. Kumo and Iwa are the reason there is a new Mizukage. I am not naive enough to overlook the fact that the new Mizukage is sympathetic to both those lands." A prop was more accurate. There was no doubt that Iwa and Kumo would get word of this and that had the potential to put Konoha in a very precarious position. Maybe even Suna but she did not know if that was just caution, paranoia, or both.

"That's why you're going to send me to Ame first," Sakura forced herself to remain patient. She caught the way his brow lifted at her unabashed display of confidence that she would get her way. "Kiri planned to kidnap your student, remember?"

He flinched at the rather unnecessary reminder. A reminder of what could have happened. "All the more reason for you to not go," he said. "It could be a trap."

"In what way?" She asked him all the while knowing the truth. She was the reason Kiri was looted and pillaged not just by Iwa but by Kumo too. "They need us more than we need them. We are extending a helping hand," she did not dwell on the past. Not when there was so much still to be done. "We're not on good terms with either of them. Send me and I'll fix it." She leaned forward and placed a palm on his desk. "We need the allies. Be the bigger person."

I need information. I need to find him.

You need plausible deniability. We have to be as far away as possible in case he decides to activate your seal.

It was true. She did not know what role distance played in it all but she knew that it could only help. She had to be out of the village for more than one reason. What harm could come from trying to gain some goodwill out of it?

"I need it, Minato," she played her last card.

I need you to let me go.

This time the sentiment in her head would not cost him tears. She knew that much. But maybe it would still bring him pain in a different way.

"You'll behave?" Minato asked her levelly but his eyes were narrowed and the corners of his mouth were pressed together.

"Always," she crossed an 'X' over her heart, smiling cheekily. Not that he could see. But he could hear it and use his imagination.

He sighed. "Why do I set myself up?" He murmured to himself before reaching into the top right drawer of his desk and pulling out two scrolls. Her smile behind her mask did not falter as he began to write.

---

"What is this?" He snarled, throwing the scroll in her face with a snap of his wrist. "I told you to keep me posted! I told you weekly updates! I told you-"

"Hokage-sama," she interrupted his tirade, not giving his tantrum the respect it demanded, commanded from her. The scroll settled onto the floor as she did not bother to correct its path. Danzo glared at her. "Hokage-sama wanting to capitalize on the momentum gained by the resounding success of the Chunin Exams-"

"Spit it out!" Danzo's breath entered the breathing holes through her mask. She waited out the urge to gag. "I am in no mood to be hearing glowing reviews from the mouth of the spokesperson!"

"It all came together very quickly. I just found out about it myself an hour ago. He received correspondence from Jiraiya-sama about the state of the various nations. He decided that it was best to offer help. Form alliances, or at the very least gather some goodwill. He requested I go fill the need," she explained calmly, blinking slowly. Everything was measured and rehearsed. "He trusts me, Shimura-sama. He trusts that I can spread Konoha's image and influence."

She paused to catch her breath, she had hardly breathed between her sentiments for the very real concern he would cut her off, perhaps for longer than she was anticipating. "I figured out what the markings mean."

Danzo's anger pulled back enough for him to focus on what she was saying. He was so close she could smell him.

"They're bases." Weaving, weaving, weaving her intricate web; another round, another layer was added making it bigger. And his silence trapped him inside. "Jiraiya-sama is tasked with finding and identifying rogues - nin - who have defected from their villages. Those who were dissatisfied with the peace. Those who seek to ignite, insight, and influence chaos."

Threads of truth were folded in to give the trap more substance - fortifying it to withstand the twists and tugs of his scrutiny. Just enough information for him to send someone out to verify, to corroborate her claims. It bought her time.

"Rogues?" The man scoffed. Yet the longer the silence surrounded them, the less severe his expression became. His lone eye glittered in recognition of the opportunity. A larger pool of applicants, of resources, of tragic upbringing and circumstance to exploit. After all, a terrorist to one was known by a different name to another: a hero. She supposed the reverse could also be true.

"Ame first then Kiri?" He asked in a scratchy voice that spoke to his loss of control.

Got 'em.

"Yes," she nodded her head ever so slightly, already knowing what was to be revealed. He was invested.

"You remember the protocol?"

"Of course, Shimura-sama." She bowed again, speaking to instill confidence. "I will await your orders."

"My orders," he watched her warily as she lowered to pick up the scroll. She began to curl it slowly. The parchment crinkled.

"Hm," she hummed, tucking the scroll back into her pouch.

His eye narrowed. "Are you in a hurry?" He asked despite her actions speaking to the contrary.

Loris halted all her movements. She did not rise. She did not lift her head. She had gone still in the presence of the man.

Kakashi.

She needed to tell him she was leaving. Minato had just given her an hour to prepare before she was to set off. It was so that Danzo could not have time to react to the news. She just needed twenty minutes at most to pack. She had accounted for sparing ten with Danzo - she added a five-minute buffer in case she needed to breadcrumb him to the conclusion more gradually. The trick with Danzo was he had to think it was his idea for any of this to work. Which left her twenty-five to thirty minutes with Kakashi. The letter in her hip pouch that asked his elderly neighbor to keep an eye on him would be slipped under her door. Sakura could not risk losing precious time to one of Oda-san's stories.

"I am to leave at the top of the-" her words were cut off by a gasp. His hand twisted into the fabric of her hood.

"You will not be giving me excuses today," he shook her, almost violently. "No more excuses." He rasped in her ear. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," she croaked out. Her cloak was choking her. The grip tightened exacerbating her condition. She could feel his nails through the hood and her coiled-up hair. The metal circular clasp of her cloak dug into her trachea, bruising it.

"Yes, what?" He hissed.

"Yes, S-shimura-sama," she breathed, hoarsely barely anything intelligible. Tears stung at the backs of her eyes.

"I own you," he reminded her harshly. "You are my tool."

"Of course, Shimura-sama," she placated him. He released her. Loris did not hesitate to lower her mask from her face and put it on her hip belt. She stared at the ground, hiding her reddening eyes. Her hands moved to part his dark trench coat. She blinked back the moisture, fighting to catch her breath. She ignored the way her hands shook. Inner worked to get her heartbeat under control.

Danzo closed his eyes and let out a low groan. It almost sounded relieved.

xXx

She watched the parchment in her hand - the one held between her index and middle fingers like a playing card - start to burn. The small plume of smoke nearly touched the dark heavens above. There were so many more stars out and about in the countryside, the side least affected by modernization and the need for close-together homes. The words she had put to ink ultimately for no one other than herself.

She did not have time to say goodbye to him to give him the heads up. In her heart of hearts she knew she could slip him a note under his door but the concern for how it came across and what it would do to him - he would spend nights wondering why she did not just tell him face to mask - ultimately made the decision for her. It was better for her not to reach out at all.

It would keep him safe. It would keep him from getting pulled into all this. In case Danzo had her followed. Not seeing Kakashi was the responsible and logical thing to do. So why did it weigh heavily on her?

Sakura sighed, throwing the burning sentiment to the gravel. It twisted and blacked before getting smaller and smaller. All that there was was ash. She breathed it in. She gazed up at the stars knowing sleep would not come to her but traveling in the lack of light would be a mistake. She avoided one as she continued to make so many.

---

The map in her mind's eye marked all the possible paths along her route. She sighed heavily as she thought about the three options - all had been more promising than the rest - had been nothing more than dead ends. She did not have unlimited time. That was never the case. Her arrival was fixed. It was bound. They were expecting her. They needed her.

But so did they - the "they" that were not born yet. Not to mention those that were lost before their time. She did not care about people - it was a lie. She cared about them enough to want to save them; to feel obligated to save them. And that opened her up just enough for them to hurt her. Such was the nature of her burden. The burden that sustained her. Her purpose.

She pushed herself faster and harder down this path. Her green eyes covered in a brown shapeless cloak took in the mountain with trepidation. The underground caverns would make a great place to have a base. Not the kind that did experiments on people - no the ground was much too rough - but the kind that was used to plot, to recover, to hide out. The kind that was perfect for a man with pale skin, raven hair, and red eyes to hide away from the world.

We might just find more on those rogues the mega perv was talking about.

Careful what you wish for Inner. We might just end up getting it.

She kept her hand on the side of the rock as she moved closer to the entrance. Excited and a little cautious at what awaited her. Hopefully, it was not nothing. She had grown tired of nothing.

xXx

She fell into a wooden seat in the middle of the crowded bar, careful not to let the liquid she held in her hand be impacted too much by her actions. Her frame was wider than she was used to her, her hips more narrow, and her rear non-existent. The brown hair on her head was cut short. Her green eyes were the only thing she recognized in the mirror of her alcohol glass. She sat without direction. Sakura - wearing the face of a burly farmer - sipped on her drink, slowly. It was the only way to not be bothered or approached in this world.

Maybe we'll be born with a penis in our next life.

One can hope.

She ignored the eyes of the prostitutes from across the way. Her stomach tightening at a face that could not be older than fifteen painted with layers and layers of makeup to appear older, spoke to the fact she failed. Miserably.

She chewed on her tongue to give her teeth something to do other than grind up against each other to the point she felt the repercussions every time she opened her mouth, no matter how slight. The face that matched the description she was looking for still eluded her. The cavern was empty. It had been used at one time. Maybe even by Madara himself but there were no fragments of chakra, no tiny spider webs for her to examine. If he had been there, it was a long time ago.

She rubbed her rough, large tan hand along her brows. Madara was not here. This was another dead end. And each one she ran into left her more anxious and uneasy. All she had was her questions.

So she sat in the middle of the room, drinking and listening. For anything. For something that could be anything. For anything that could turn into everything. For no more than a couple of hours to keep with her schedule.

No amount of liquid she pushed down her throat could remedy the fact she had not used her voice in more than a couple of days. She had to get used to the solitude all over again. Used to being on her own and just responsible for herself. The worn pair of shoes did not fit quite right anymore after she had experienced the alternative. A world - a life - in which she was surrounded by faces and voices and life. On all four sides. She did not expect the adjustment period to be so long or cumbersome.

At least there's you, Inner.

Don't mind me while I jump for joy. Take it easy. You're on a mission.

I know.

She narrowed her eyes. There was nothing she could do about the underage prostitute beyond the ryo she would slip her without her noticing. That should be enough to buy her a couple of days off work if her pimp was reasonable. Maybe as much as a week. She did not know the going nightly rate for them being that young all the way out of the borders of Hi.

---

The first of the missions was simple enough. She had to kill someone. A name. A description. A time. A location. ANBU handled hits. But Root rarely did unless it was warranted, unless there was an ulterior motive. She had no context for the face with spikey blue hair and orange eyes. He was nothing. He was someone. Likely someone important.

Sakura sighed. She cleaned off her instruments. She was needed here. To murder this man she had no idea what it would do to the images in her head and how it would affect those faces. She reached forward and snagged the earring that dangled from his left ear lobe.

She put it into the scroll that was already lying open, ready for her to feed it her offering. It swallowed the earring. A bird watched her. The dark of his eye reminded her of a motion-capturing camera. The scroll became smaller when she added her chakra. The bird presented its back. She slipped the scroll into the small canister on its back. It fluttered away just as the ground rose to take the body of the man with blue hair and orange eyes.

She found herself wishing she was as talented as Sai at least that way she could transfer the man's face from her mind - where it would plague her - onto a sheet of paper. Maybe Minato would have known who he was or even Jiraiya. Someone. Anyone who could free her of the ambiguity.

Just who did I just kill?

---

We could blow ourselves up, after purging all of our chakra of course.

Too messy. And it would be bad form to pull an Anko who was pulling a Sakura.

She moved over the water, a blur of white and black.

It would be fast.

It would be loud. Next.

Loris sighed.

Poison?

How original.

---

She had been thinking about the past few days that she nearly lost all the days to come. It was out of pure instinct that Tsunade drilled into her, Hizashi refined, Anko kept from atrophying, and her muscle memory retained that she was able to duck down in the nick of time to avoid a projectile that was shooting her way.

She regarded the thin weapon. It glistened and gleamed in the sunlight to the point that she could almost see all the colors contained in the raven silk.

A senbon?

It was much thinner than any senbon she had come across.

No.

It was not a senbon. She resisted the urge to reach out and touch it. It did not appear to be coated in poison but she did not want to take the unnecessary risk.

The sound of his feet landing on the branch with a hollow thunk reached her ears. She tore her eyes from the weapon yet to be identified to greet her welcoming committee. Her white mask stared at him blankly.

He was tall. Athletic build. Symmetrical features. Black hair. His skin was pale and his eyes were dark.

So close.

She knew instantly he was not a Uchiha despite his similarities to the clan. His chakra nature did not have the feel of fire. There was no warmth or heat. Cold or hot. And then there was Danzo's database that he kept on the Uchiha locked away in a place he believed only he knew about. The face in front of her was not one she had come across in his extensive archives. The nose was a little too wide and the chin a bit too square to be associated with the dominant genes of the clan.

He's not the one.

Loris made a sympathetic sound with her mouth.

If only.

It was his hair that she noticed first. It was pulled into a high ponytail almost akin to a topknot. But the black waves swept along his mid-calves. It was so shiny it was reflective. She could see the reds, yellows, blues, purples, and even the greens in the mirror of dark obsidian. The kind of hair people would just about kill for.

"Who sent you?" She did not mince her words. She was direct and blunt in her question. The list in her head was long. It could be anyone from a bounty hunter trying to cash in on a reward in the Bing Book, to Orochimaru for what she did to his bases - the humanity she showed his suffering experiments that could not have been saved - to Danzo becoming suspicious of her, and of course, Uchiha Madara or his stooge.

To no real surprise, the man said nothing. There were markings across his forehead - just under his hairline - that she assumed were seals of some kind. A horizontal line, broken up with an 'X' every centimeter or so. He was strong. It was enforced even in the way he carried himself. She reached behind her back. She touched between her shoulder blades. There were two soft pops right before something heavy and solid filled her hands. She swung her ax-wielding arms until the weapons were crossed in front of her.

"Well," she sighed, rotating her wrists, "let's get on with it."

xXx

She had become rusty. But even that was not true. Her constant spars with Minato - nearly daily - had lulled her into a sense of inflated ego. She knew all his moves just before he was about to make them. That was the only explanation that made sense. Or that spars could never replicate the real thing. She narrowed her eyes at the two blades that were sticking out of the ground. Much too far away to be of any use to her. That was assuming she still had the use of her hands.

The black coils of hair tightened around her, squeezing her frame until her ribs started to really feel the pressure. Had she not been padding her body with chakra they would have snapped minutes ago.

Baka! You let him get too close to you.

I am aware, Inner.

She did not need Inner's play-by-play color commentary. She had a theory she wanted to test and yes, the test was a little reckless but it did yield some results. She let out a hiss as his hair cut into her.

Must be a bloodline.

She had never heard of chakra working this way. And it was chakra because her axes had been unable to cut through it and her fire jutsu did not burn it. It was his hair that he had thrown in her direction to incapacitate her. Because while it was not poison, his chakra-infused hair had a numbing property that was activated when he made her bleed. Every time he cut her, her body slowed down and became unresponsive.

You know, you confirmed that it's chakra. So now do something about it.

Working on it.

She could feel the numbness start to ease away. She wasted no time. Sakura pulled chakra from her coils. She let it coat every pore. She breathed through her mouth as her skin glowed with bright green undertones, nearly becoming translucent.

Now!

All the chakra expended itself all at once. She watched as the hair started to dissolve. He let out a surprised sound. There was enough separation for her to shushin away. She narrowed her eyes. The hair repaired itself.

Interesting.

She smirked as she leisurely picked up one of her axes from the ground.

As long as he has chakra and the strands are not completely severed from the root - the follicle - he can heal his hair. Which means, he has the ability to attack and defend.

"Well, that means," Sakura brought an ax to rest over her shoulder casually. The other hung by her side in her loose grip. "You need a haircut." She drew chakra into her blades, coating them in blue. "I have just the thing." She charged him, running with her chakra-infused blades right in front of her.

She jumped up to avoid the first tendril of hair - as thick as her thigh. She landed on top of it with chakra running through the bottom of her boots, creating a barrier that prevented her from falling victim to its effects. She ran towards him, dodging and weaving as he built out labyrinths from his hair. She chopped down indiscriminately, relishing in the pain and torment in his eyes as whole sections fell to the floor.

She spun to avoid a collection that moved almost like a drill head, right for her temples. She slammed one of the heels of her blade into the ground, causing it to break. The tremor had him unsteady on his feet. He hesitated to reposition himself. She pressed her advantage swinging for his top knot.

xXx

"Well this has gotten hairy," Sakura grumbled as she wiped the sweat from the side of her neck with the inside of her gloved wrist.

You truly are your father's daughter.

Sakura tilted her head up at the scaffolding made up of hair. At the very top of what had to be a fifteen-story building, the man stood. Panting. The seals from his forehead released unleashing amounts of hair that should have been impossible. But here they were.

"Who would have thought the hair could just attach itself back?" Or the fact that every time she cut, it multiplied. Making him stronger.

Quit messing around and finish him already. He hasn't said two words!

It was true. Not even to launch a jutsu at her. In fact, he did not use a single jutsu as far as she could tell.

We need him alive.

All that means shit if you're not. Or you draw attention to yourself. You're not in Hi anymore, Sakura. Be smart.

She looked down at her uniform at all the nicks and cuts left behind by his bloodline. Inner was right. Sakura sighed. She dropped her axes to the ground.

It's time to get serious.

It was time to actually try.

xXx

She walked over slowly to the body. She pressed her lips together. She had wanted to avoid it. But he had been too strong for her to take him in alive. Especially when she had a mission - a diplomatic - mission that she needed to complete. Ame was expecting her and she was cutting it very close. The blood from her ax dripped onto the ground. Turns out his head did not regenerate. She had been focusing on the wrong feature.

She turned her head to the body that was twenty yards behind her. She had made a mess. She reached into her pouch and pulled out a scroll.

"Oh well," she shrugged as the scroll expanded.

---

Sakura collected her hair together at the middle of the back of her head. "Anything?" Her question came out muffled due to the hair tie she had between her teeth.

Toshi sat at the edge of the cot in the room she had been given. "No." Lavender eyes watched her as she tied her hair into a bun with curiosity or fascination. He was much too timid to ask for a feel of the pink curtain. "I will say that he was not happy to receive your gift."

"And here I thought he would appreciate the effort I went through to seal the blood separately," Sakura uttered with a sigh. "It wasn't easy to do, you know. Especially not in the field." She would not apologize. Bodies were the next best thing to live prisoners. It had just been bad luck that Jiraiya was not able to glean much from the corpse she had sealed in the scroll. She could not send it back to Konoha on the chance it was Orochimaru or Danzo who ordered her execution. They had to try something even if it ultimately led to nothing.

"You know who else is unhappy with you?" The toad croaked on, unphased by her abysmal level of engagement.

"I reckon it's a pretty long list," she pulled on her black hood only after she was satisfied that no pink strand was out of place. Nothing that would speak to her identity.

"The Yondaime," her summon, studied her closely. "He was downright in a tizzy when he found out that you did not come straight back to Konoha after being attacked." He paused for dramatic effect. "I thought he would label you as rogue-nin right then and there. He was so angry. The room got so cold." He shivered at the memory.

"You need more sun," Sakura turned around and frowned at him. "And I'm just as safe here as I am in Konoha."

"You don't know that," Toshi blinked slowly at her as if she was more than a little challenged intellectually. "Are you feeling okay? Not dizzy or anything?"

"I'm fine," she answered distractedly. "Why would Ame try to kill the only help they have coming their way?" Sakura pulled on her mask. "They are the definition of a charity case right now. They can't afford to try anything. The same goes for Kiri."

"We still don't know who tried to have you killed." He need not remind her. It was a point of frustration for her. Life would be so much simpler if she were a Yamanaka. "What if they had help? What if someone comes back for you?"

"I don't bother to hide my chakra when I'm out on recon," she told him flatly, reminding him her patience was not a renewable resource. "If they want me, they have no shortage of opportunities. The camp is safe. Ame is safe." She was making sure of that. The traps she set along the perimeter were what allowed her to sleep at night, for thirty minutes at a given time. No one would be collateral in a grudge someone had against her.

His eyes darted to the redness at the crook of her elbow. There was slight bruising there from a needle that was thicker than those used to inject liquids into veins. A bruise she did not bother to heal.

His eyes moved to the scroll next to him. The scroll no doubt that he would have to transport. It was different. Bulker and red. More important in many ways.

"Are you sure about this, Sakura?" His voice came out more whine than vibration.

She tried not to react negatively. She could hear his concern. It was touching even though it was more than a little annoying. "Yes," she secured her chest plate. She raised her head to the toad. The pieces were just about all in place.

"And you ate?" He could not help but ask.

"Yes. I had some sugar so I'm fine," she nodded her head. "And I had water. There are no dark spots or floaters in my vision. I'm fine," she put his protests to rest. Her claims would not be questioned. "Soon."

Forty-two days. It will be viable for forty-two days.

The toad sighed in resignation. "Soon."

"Make sure he uses what I left for him. And don't open the red scroll unless you plan on using it right away - within thirty minutes. That is a hard thirty-minute limit. Tell me you understand, Toshi-kun."

"I understand," he repeated back to her.

"Good. Explain it all. Only answer what you must."

Toshi croaked in confirmation that he understood.

"You'll tell me-"

"The moment I know something, you will know," Toshi was quick with his reassurances. "Your tadpoles are asking about you. Why can't he tell them anything?"

"They need to stay out of this," Sakura said after some time to think it through even if the words she allowed herself to say never changed. "They know more than enough already with me being out on a mission. How are things with the remote pool?"

"Your clone is there," Toshi supplied. "She said she has enough chakra. She's being efficient but just existing uses up a chunk even if she is doing her best."

"Let me know if you need more," she gestured to the empty scrolls on her desk. "I can fill one up for you. Or a couple."

"She said she's good. Even has enough for a rainy day." Toshi's red mouth pulled into a frown. He touched the outside of one of the red scrolls tentatively. It was cold. Very cold. He pulled his hand back quickly, not caring for the stark drop in temperature. "She said you'd say that and to tell you to stop worrying, for once."

She probably said a lot more than that. She appreciated Toshi trying to filter and put together sentiments after sanitizing them of profanity.

"You're okay?" He asked with a soft exhale of air. "With all this?"

She nodded her head because at that moment she did not trust herself, her voice, her actions, or her shaky convictions. She had gone back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. And she was still not convinced this was the right call. But she has to make it. Or at the very least, facilitate it being made. The decision rested in his hands. Now was not the time to second guess but to trust. She had to trust him.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat. She knew that he was not one that needed to be reminded of such things and if he were she would have been much more worried about him than she was - if that was even possible - but she found the words on the tip of her tongue anxious to be uttered. She did not hold them back for any longer.

"Tell him to be careful."

"I will." There was zero judgment in his statement and she was thankful for that.

"Thank you, Toshi-kun." She dipped her head ever-so-slightly in a gesture of thanks. He nodded his head before he vanished into a puff of smoke. Leaving nothing but a crease in the top sheet of where he had sat.

All that's left is hoping he's not as weak as Hiruzen.

He's not. Sakura answered back firmly.

He's not the Sandaime. She did not expect him to hesitate. That was not the Minato she knew.

---

"ANBU-san!" The course of high-pitched voices greeted her with large smiles under the metal awning broken up by glass panels that the rain clinked off of.

She looked at the children. Their faces were dirty, they were more than a little skinny, they were swimming in their clothes but the radiance and joy they emitted was undeniable. It lifted her spirits even if their state crushed her heart in her chest.

"Are you going to go see the dancho?" The little girl no more than six with her brown hair in pigtails asked her with a gapped smile.

"I am Kimi-chan," she ruffled the girl's hair causing giggles to erupt out of her.

"Cool!" She gushed, cheeks pink from the attention and her excitement. "What do you talk about?"

"Important stuff, duh. What kind of question is that, Kimi?" A boy with brown hair cut close to his head sneered at the younger girl.

"Oniichan!" Kimi complained loudly. "Why do you have to be so mean all the time?"

"I dunno," Hiro shrugged. "Have you tried not being a dummy?"

"Kids," Loris sighed as she held them apart by their shoulders. "Hiro-kun, be nicer to your sister. She's just trying to learn. And there's nothing wrong with asking a lot of questions." The boy deflated at her clipping, reprimanding tone. Kimi puffed up at the validation. "And Kimi-chan," Loris addressed her in a gentler but still firm tone. "When your brother asks for space, please give it to him."

The little girl pouted. "Okay," she kicked up dirt with her worn flip-flop.

Loris reached into her pouch. She pulled out candy wrapped in colorful paper. "Here," she smiled behind her mask. "Take your pick."

The girl's face lit up instantly. "Pink!" Kimi exclaimed, reaching for the very same. "It's my favorite flavor."

"Pink is a color, not a flavor!" Hiro smacked his forehead. Kimi turned bright red as the rest of the kids began to snicker at her verbal blunder. She pulled the candy to her chest as she drew her shoulders in.

Loris closed her hands over the candy just as Hiro was reaching in. He huffed at the blank expression of her mask that somehow got her message of disappointment across.

"It's okay, Kimi," Hiro rubbed the back of his head. "It can be confusing because sometimes pink is strawberry and sometimes it's cotton candy or something."

"Oh," Kimi looked down at the candy. She had a thoughtful look on her face. "I like both!" She declared.

Loris chuckled. "I do too," she held open her hand. "Hiro-kun?"

The boy reached for green. "Green's my favorite flavor. Sometimes it's grape other times it's green apples."

Sakura smiled under her mask. She turned her palms towards the other kids. "Come get them quickly. I'm running late."

"Aww," Kimi's pout was back on her face. The candy was pressed against the inside of her cheek, the skin was stretched out much like a chipmunk with a nut. Before the disappointment could completely overtake her mood Loris was tapping her under her chin, encouraging the girl to look up at her mask.

"Come find me after my shift at the clinic. I may even have some snacks for you all."

"Really?" They all brightened as Kimi asked the question.

Loris nodded her head. "Promise." She made an 'X' on the left side of her chest not wasting any time wondering how she got here in the first place.

xXx

"Come in," the tired voice of the middle-aged leader of the small village slipped under the crack in the door. Hanzo died during the war. She did not know the details - and frankly, she did not want to because of one Shimura Danzo and his ability to sniff out connections - but even she knew that the white-haired Sannin had something to do with it.

Loris bowed as she entered. The door closed behind her softly. Even from across the room, she could see the bags under his eyes and the tiredness he carried in his person. But it was magnitudes better than when she first arrived. She had been worried about the mask and its reception. It dehumanized her. It made her an entity to be distrusted in addition to the natural distrust that came with being an outsider. But he had been so desperate, the people of Ame had been so desperate that they welcomed her with nearly open arms when she healed the first of their sick. The worst offenders were the children. They were incapable of leaving her alone following her like a flock of ducklings and she was their unwitting mother duck as more than a couple were orphans. She did not have the energy to fight them on top of everything else and it just seemed like delaying the inevitable anyway. They filled a need for her every bit as she did for them. They kept the darkness from completely overtaking every corner of her mind and soul. A bond made through tragedy tended to be reinforced quickly. Heartbreaking but also very convenient.

The condition of Ame has been dire. Children barely the age of twelve who could mold chakra were being asked to heal. It did not come as a surprise that chakra burns, burnout, and mental breakdowns were more common than any Genin actually managing to close a wound. Sepsis, infection from mishandled treatment ran rampant killing more than any kunai did. The one-hour lecture from an overworked medical nurse was far from the foundation building. Even their Chunin and Jonin medical-nin left much to be desired. So that had been her first order of business after triaging the patients. She showed them how to properly clean a wound before they crudely sealed it closed. She supposed her demonstration helped in more ways than one. She had gained their respect and trust. So they listened and followed. She was not challenged as she demanded a standard that was deemed acceptable. A standard that would actually allow for them to save lives. She now had at least five very competent medics to help her and she was hopeful that they could train even more to be like them.

She clicked her heels together. The room was so different from the Hokage's office back home. There were fewer windows here but she supposed that had to do with Ame's weather. Overcast and heavy clouds were commonplace and they brought with them depression. Heat lamps or sun lights as the locals called them, were in every home just to remind everyone about the big ball of fire in the sky that they saw maybe ten days out of the year. So windows were less of a desired feature here. The bright yellow walls of the office were also a stark contrast to the beige of the Tower.

"You wanted to see me, Dancho-sama?" She bowed her head not as deeply as she would for the Hokage but enough to convey respect to his rank, to his accomplishments.

"At ease," he waved his palm toward the ground. "We do not have much time for formalities. I just got word from your Kage that you are expected to leave in two day's time?"

"Yes." She opted to keep it simple. The less she gave, the less he would have for any narrative he was trying to manipulate. And while she did not believe him to be like his predecessor in colluding with Danzo she could not rule that out. She did not know him well enough.

"That's not acceptable," he pressed his lips together. His long black mustache swayed as he leaned forward.

"Two weeks was what we agreed upon, Dancho-sama," she reminded him of the terms without emotion.

"You will stay until the shipment comes from Suna and the villages from the Land of Grass."

She did not care for the tone he took up with her. She may be helping him but she was not his shinobi to command. Sakura rolled back her shoulders.

"Dancho-sama," she began, "if it would put you at ease for my continued presence for the aid that Hokage-sama himself has orchestrated to arrive in Ame without problems," she paused for him to interject at this time.

"It would. It very much would." He spoke quickly. He was an antsy man, she surmised. "I will write to your Hokage. I will request your stay be extended for an additional two weeks."

"Two?" She asked with a frown forming on her lips. "The aid will come within one."

"Forgive me for being greedy, ANBU-san," he took in her blank mask, one that contained no markings. "But I am low on options and hands willing to help. So I must take advantage of any generosity that is shown upon my village."

His earnestness killed all opposition in her throat. The very raw desperation on his face pulled at what was left of her compassion. Ame was hurting. Their leader made a deal with the devil himself and while they thought they could come out of the war stronger - they were industrialized, they had technology that posed them to be at the top of the shinobi world - but in reality, they were beggars in their own home.

Konoha is fine. She reminded herself as the battle was already lost. Naruto's parents are fine.

You have such a bleeding heart.

Sakura did not have it in her to be offended. "I'll wait for my Hokage's orders. I will be at the clinic if you need to find me."

He let out a relieved sigh that she could almost see.

---

"At this rate, I'll know Ame and the surrounding area better than I know Hi," she mused as she read the map.

Imagine that. You have more freedom here than back home.

Less eyes.

She neither agreed nor disagreed. Sakura tucked her map into her pouch. The signs were pointing to the writing on the wall. The Uchiha was not in Ame or anywhere near the destabilized land.

Don't get caught sightseeing. Danzo is expecting his parcel.

Sakura sighed. She had a rendezvous with another Root operative, Ox. He was supposed to collect what she had stolen from the estate of a very rich man. That had been fun. To slip in and out without the latest security both of the human and technical variety.

She had no shortage of heart-racing moments out of this mission.

He'll get it in time…do you think we will have time to go to the beach?

You need to conserve your chakra, Sakura. I know you've been distracting yourself because you're worried-

I'm not. He's fine. He will be fine. This is well within his means.

Inner did not speak for a long time. Sakura had almost reached the bordering town where she was to meet Ox when Inner's voice rang out loudly like a bell.

Let's go to the beach. Let's watch the sunset.

Sakura smiled under her mask. She could Hiraishin and be back in Ame before anyone was none the wiser.

---

"I like it here," Toshi declared to no one's surprise. Loris watched him lounging. He was rolling the skewer that contained his snack in his mouth slowly. "The weather doesn't dry out my skin. They certainly know their way around a snack."

She hummed. He was referring to the bug sticks that he loved so much. She did not have the heart to tell him that the 'delicacy' he praised Ame for was born out of desperation. People were starving for a long while so they restored to eating all kinds of things just to get by. Sugar was expensive but it was cheaper than meat. Sugar was needed to make the bugs palatable, especially for children who were old enough to remember what food they used to eat before the war.

He followed behind her with lazy hops. No one paid them any mind. Her genjutsu kept him hidden away from eyes and ears. No one batted an eye if she talked to herself. It added to the mystic she assumed. She did not know. She did not ask and they did not tell her. The children had long gone to their respective homes after they had gotten their snacks from a local vendor in the heart of the village. Sakura had promised the grumbling Toshi that she would treat him too. He was being less than subtle about his messenger boy role. From what she gathered, the other toad summons were giving him a hard time for how she chose to use him exclusively. Her heart went out to the little guy. He did not seem to have a mean bone in his body. Not that she would ever tell him that. He aspired to be like his heroes: Gamaken, Gamabunta, and Gamahiro. It was not her job to crush his dreams so she kept her opinion to herself. She held open the door and he bounced inside. She closed it with her hip. The seals sprung into place with a hum of chakra as the lock engaged. No one would be able to hear or see into the room.

"He's still with the orphans?"

"He is. He doesn't feel comfortable leaving them for more than several hours at a time. Not with the anti-peace corps running around," he supplied with a throaty chirp. Sakura smiled at the nickname Toshi gave the missing-nin - the rouges. The Ame Orphans were quite famous. Or was infamous the right word?

"They are about a day's trip away from Ame. In the Land of Grass from their last location. They wanted to meet you."

"With someone after me, and a whole lot of people still after them, it's best we err on the side of caution," Sakura declined the possibility, preventing it from being anything more than that.

"No complaints from me or them it sounds like. Your work has reached their ears. They watched the shipments leave Grass. They are thankful. The old man was saying how less antsy they were to get back home. He's thankful to you for that even if he'd never admit it." Toshi puffed air into his cheeks in what she learned was a toad's way of blowing a raspberry.

"Thank you for your indignation on my behalf but I don't need thanks," she sighed, pulling off her mask and putting it on the table. "If anything, it's all the Yondaime. He's the one who got them food and medical supplies." Medical supplies that Konoha could grow more of thanks to Suna's green thumbs. It was coming together. Slowly. She rubbed her elbow.

"I suppose," he did not look convinced but then again he only had a handful of facial features at his disposal. "Things with Suna are running smoothly. They seem to be past the hiccups of the protests that prevent them from starting to dig. The Dango-girl is fine. The tadpoles have been receiving letters from her. She says Suna is hot and dry." He brought his webbed hand and rubbed his head, slowly. "Sounds horrid."

"I'm glad Anko-chan is doing well," she sat at the edge of the bed, pulling off her boots. "As are the others."

"How did you think Golden Boy managed that trade with Suna and Grass?"

Minato was extending Suna's access to resources; pulling Grass into the picture made sense for all three villages. Grass was willing to trade sake, in exchange for silk because the rich class still needed their luxury goods no matter how bad the economy was for the masses. Food for medical supplies from Konoha. Lumber from Hi for bamboo from Grass. Mushrooms from Grass for Glass from Suna. All good things for all three villages all the while Konoha built itself a cushion from Iwa. Padding against an onslaught of soldiers.

She shrugged as she picked at her nails, cleaning them of nothing as she mulled whether or not it was time to cut them. "Above my pay grade," she answered distractedly. The less she knew the better. There was less chance of Danzo trying to use her as leverage to exploit what she believed would be a fair trade, in Konoha's favor. The less she knew, the less chance of her influence - her name, her face, her presence - ruining it.

"He's a smart one. Smarter than that old Jiraiya that is for sure."

Sakura snorted. "That's not something that is hard to do."

"The Nara is helping around a lot more, filling in your shoes while you're away. I think it might stick." Toshi operated as if she never spoke. "There's a lot of brain power in that room now."

"That's good." And it was news to her. Shikaku transitioning to becoming an official advisor was a good thing. A very, very good thing.

"You look good, Sakura," he blinked slowly.

She froze.

"This air suits you too," Toshi noted with a loud burp. "When do you head out for Kiri?"

"Tomorrow," she tried not to think of the farewells she received earlier. She had no intention of telling the kids but they heard the other medics talking about it. There were so many tears.

"Hm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Must you go back to Konoha?"

Faces filled her mind's eye to the point her heart clenched. She missed the youngest members of Team Seven. She missed Anko. She missed their dinners.

"Yes."

"Tragic," the toad sighed. "Be sure to let me know when you get to Kiri."

"I will," she nodded her head distractedly.

"Be careful." He popped out of existence before she could ask if that sentiment was from him or the Hokage. Or maybe even both if she allowed herself to be greedy.

"I always am."

She looked at her mostly packed backpack and sighed. She wondered what awaited her in Kiri.

---

She waded through, bobbing up and down lazily. Legs moving, arms circling as she tread water. Her pink hair was flat against her back, clinging to her. Her chakra masked her seamlessly. Only those with an eye that reached the pinnacle of its prowess could see her. She was certain of that. The sun's burnt hues turned the water orange. She was swimming in a bright, shimming, orange inferno. It was breathtaking. The golden glow clung to her skin. Moments of calm that she needed to keep from snapping.

Kiri was not better than Ame. Kiri was in worse states than Ame. She knew the moment she stepped into the Mizukage's makeshift quarters which were fashioned out of a reinforced tent warded up to the topmost flap that this two-week mission would be extended again. And in the spirit of equality and optics, Minato would grant the request. A whole month. A whole month that she would be away from Konoha.

"The ocean is big!" Toshi croaked from somewhere behind her. Perched on a rock. Lavender eyes appeared green in the orange light. "So big!"

She smiled before taking a breath. She dove into the water, head first. Toshi's disgruntled exclaims became unintelligible to the heaviness that impacted her ears. The ocean water did not sting at her eyes as she dove deeper and deeper. Further and further from her problems. Maybe she wanted to not even be human in her next life. Maybe she could be perfectly content being a fish, a dolphin, or something.

Inner…you've been quiet. Maybe I can send a jolt of chakra to my heart. It will be quick. Or you could do it. So that I won't see it coming.

Silence akin to what surrounded her on the outside spoke on the inside.

Inner?

I don't like this game, Sakura.

Since when?

The sudden and prolonged silence did not provide an answer that was satisfactory.

---

Her breathing was shattered. Ragged as she writhed. Desperate for all that work to mean something. The days exhausted her physically and mentally but that did not help not with her current predicament. No amount of lighting up receptors in her brain with surgical precision could hold a candle to the real thing. The withdrawal from alcohol. She did not allow herself to drink, to lean on the crutch her body had grown accustomed to. She could trick her brain. But her blood missed the taste. Her liver complained about its neglect. Her stomach churned empty.

No jutsu could fill her the way alcohol did. It was all-encompassing. She did not have to think when she drank. She turned her brain off. She might get the buzzed feeling but her brain was actively working toward it, thus defeating the whole purpose in the first place. Her jutsu was just not cutting it.

Just as her workload was not doing anything to reduce the all-too-familiar pressure build-up between her legs. One that has grown impossible to ignore. Sleeping with a stranger here on a mission would be a mistake, one that could cost her. One that could risk throwing everything away. Someone had tried to kill her and despite her not knowing much, she knew she would be beyond foolish if he ventured out even if she wore the face of another.

So she adapted. In the cramped brick walls of her temporary residence. Where only the walls could see, hear, and smell her shame. Her need that she could not rise beyond. The walls might protect her from ears and eyes - shielding her from them - but they could not contain her weakness or her shame. She let out a soft groan as she took care of herself. Forehead sweaty and body completely spent from releasing around nothing.

She blinked at the ceiling coming down quickly. The good never lasted long. The bad was just more eager, persistent, and driven to get at hef. She was left feeling more empty than when she began.

Alone.

---

Her eyes popped open. Her body was covered in a film of sweat preemptively before she even received confirmation. Sakura sat up on the futon mattress. She peeled the covers from her legs and crossed them under her. Her hands moved into the Tiger Seal. She focused as she found the remaining chakra required to summon Katsuyu. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

He's okay. He's okay. He's okay.

The words played in her head like a mantra. She did not even realize that she was swaying back and forth, rocking with each syllable.

He's okay. He's okay. He's okay.

---

A/N: Please review! Thank you.