Chapter 9 Concern and Worry

The stillness of the air was liberating. There was a peace to it, a kind of tranquility that could only be experienced when one was alone. Raven took in a deep breath as she meditated on the floor. She allowed the peace to enter her body and mind, tranquilizing and pacifying both. She could already sense her inner demon withdrawing back into the crystalline prison on her forehead. She smiled.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she exhaled. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

This was fine. This was all going to be fine. Sure, giving up her powers hadn't been easy so far, as the temptation to levitate or use telekinesis to pick something up was still present. And yes, Raven had to admit that she had given into that temptation more than once. This, of course, had created more stress for the cambion. Her fear and heart rate spiked every time she caught herself in the act of using her powers. Sweat formed all across her body, and she would hastily fall back into the pattern of reciting her mantra.

Despite that, her demon was nowhere closer to overtaking her mind, body, and soul as it had been originally. Thank you meditation! Thank you isolation!

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos." While saying her mantra for at least the four thousandth time that day, Raven had to admit that she missed hanging out with her friends. Sure, they were known for being rude and obnoxious (especially Robin), and under normal circumstances, she would greatly prefer being alone. But these were not normal circumstances. She wanted to hang out with them, socialize with them. She wanted an excuse to not focus on the demonic whispers, to run away from the thoughts in her head for even just a second. Over the last few days, there had been times where she almost left the room. Her hand would curl around the doorknob as she imagined the fun times she could have with the other Titans if she could just….

But she couldn't. She didn't want to put them in danger. They were everything to her. She would never admit that out loud, but she knew in her heart that she could never live with herself if anyone got hurt thanks to her and her inability to control her inner demon.

So, she had stayed here. Where it was peaceful. Where it was quiet. Where it was lonely.

"Azarath Metrion…."

Knock knock knock.

Raven's heart skipped a beat. Oh no! Someone was here! Someone wanted gto speak with her.

"Go away!" she exclaimed. She stood up and put her hood up, biting her lip as she did.

"Ah, but Mama!" came Beast Boy's voice. "I is wanting to see you."

Raven hesitated. The temptation to talk with her friends returned. In fact, considering that it was Beast Boy on the other side of the door, it doubled. Regardless, she did not open the door. She rubbed her temples instead, compulsively battling her thoughts.

"You…can't!"

"Why not?" His voice…it sounded so dejected. Raven's heart broke right down the middle.

That was, until she pulled herself back with a double take. Why should I care about him? We're not dating anymore. He's just another teammate. There's nothing special about him; no way am I going to let him in!

"I'm busy!" she shouted.

"You're distancing yourself from us!" Beast Boy replied, his voice containing a little more oomph. "Please Rae rae, just open the door!"

Raven leaned against the door. Not because she had any particular attachment to Beast Boy, but more so that she could be closer to feeling the warmth of human contact, ANY human contact. Yeah, that was it.

"Why do you even care?" she asked. "Maybe I like being away from you hooligans."

Beast Boy sharply exhaled. "After how scared you were with your demon defeating Gentleman Ghost? Yeahs, I ain't buying that load of horse dookie. You be scared, Mama."

Raven shook her head, trying to deny the truth of that statement as well as justify to herself why she needed to stay in the room. "Beast Boy…"

"Raven," the green skinned superhero said. "If you don't opens yo' door, I'm gonna turn into a bear and knock it down."

Raven smirked. "You're bluffing."

There was a minute of silence before Beast Boy spoke. "Wanna bet?" Another moment of silence occurred before an earth rattling roar shook Raven to her core. She backed away just in the nick of time; her door came flying off its hinges while Beast Boy bear stared her down with sharp teeth and brandished claws.

"I ain't backing down, Raven." He said her name with such seriousness; it was so unlike him.

Raven shook her head. "Just…go away…"

"Please."

The eyes of the sorceress filled with tears. He sounded so concerned for her. It was almost like his well being was directly tied to hers. She had never felt this…attached to someone before. The way that her ex-boyfriend was going out of his way to ensure that she was okay….

She sighed in defeat. "Alright."

Beast Boy smiled and turned back into a human. With an extra careful series of steps, he came over to her and wrapped his arms around her. This sent Raven's heart right over the moon. She blushed harder than ever before, her face feeling like the surface of the sun. She heard her inner demon growl, causing her to draw back.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she uttered. She kept her hand on her forehead. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos…"

Beast Boy blinked. "What's going on, Rae?"

Raven bit her lip. This was her problem. She had been taught, both by her caretakers in Azarath as well as some grueling personal experiences, that she wasn't one who would rely on others to fix her messes. She was the one who had the curse of the inner demon. SHE was the one who needed to deal with it. Getting Beast Boy involved, or really getting any of the other Titans involved, would only create more problems. Or worse, put them in danger.

"I…"

"Raven," Beast Boy said, his voice as soothing as an autumn breeze. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Raven directed her attention back to her gem. The guttural growls and dark whispers coming from it made her hairs stand on end. She wanted to have this burden relieved from her, even somewhat.

"My…my powers…" She swallowed a lump and cleared her throat before speaking up again. "My powers are creating an energy source that my inner demon can feed off of."

"Your inner demon?" Beast Boy asked with a blink.

"Yes." She pointed toward the gem on her forehead. "When we were in that fight with Gentleman Ghost, he damaged my gem. I had put a spell on it years ago so that it could act as a cage for my demon half." She shuddered. "As you can probably guess, it being cracked creates a big problem."

Beast Boy was silent for a little bit, the gears turning in his head. "You mean…your demon can escape now?"

Raven nodded. "Yes. It did before; that's what happened that allowed me to defeat Gentleman Ghost." Her face fell. "If I let it out anymore, then it could take over entirely."

Beast Boy's eyes grew wide. "Oh nos. It's just like…"

"My dream." Raven sighed, her shoulders slumped. "Yeah."

Beast Boy grabbed Raven's hands. There was a desperation in his eyes, one that Raven couldn't admit to seeing before.

"How can I help?" he asked.

Raven's heart ached. "You can't."

"But I want to!" He actually looked afraid. "There has to be something I can do!" He gasped. "What if…what if you give your inner demon to me?"

Raven shook her head. "I can't do that, BB." She furrowed her brow. "I won't do that."

"But Raven…" He held on tighter. "This be your worst nightmare, coming true right in front of our eyes! There…there has to be something I can do!" A tear fell out of his eye. "I don't want you to fall into danger."

The cambion's heart fluttered and broke simultaneously. She gently placed her hand on her ex boyfriend's cheek, giving him a rare, warm smile. "You really care about me."

"Of course I do's!" He lowered his voice. "Of course I do."

Raven chuckled a little bit. "You really have matured." She snorted. "It's a miracle."

Beast Boy grinned. "Thanks." His eyebrows scrunched up. "And hey's!"

Raven shook her head, all while the smile refused to fall from her face. "I really appreciate you worrying about me Beast Boy, but it isn't necessary." She closed her eyes and uttered her mantra once more to quell her growling demon. "I can take care of myself. I can overcome this thing." She faced him seriously. "After all, I battle my demon side every day already. Even if it is a little more…aggressive, doesn't mean that I won't beat it in the end."

Beast Boy's brow was still furrowed. "Are you sure?" When Raven nodded, he sighed. "Well, as long as you be absolutely sure."

"I am." She hesitated for a second before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for caring."

Beast Boy smiled. He held his hand to the part of the cheek that had been kissed. So many emotions were visible in his eyes, causing them to sparkle. He opened his mouth to say something, possibly as a prelude to kissing Raven back. Before he could, however, Robin came into the doorway.

"Did you guys see it?" he asked.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "See what?"

Robin gestured for them to follow him. "Come on! You've gotta see what's outside!"

Beast Boy and Raven exchanged a reluctant look before following.