AN: Hey everyone! I just want to thank you all once again for the support this fanfic has received. Not only has this become my most viewed story, but this is also the story that has the most favorites! I seriously can't thank you guys enough; you all are awesome! Thank you for supporting me, especially through the infrequent updates.
Anyways, onto this story's FORTIETH chapter!
Chapter 40 North Pole Ahoy
When Robin initially heard the plan that the others came up with, he was extremely skeptical, so much so that he actually laughed and told the others to let him continue thinking. However, everyone else had insisted that this was a good plan, which… honestly confused him more than anything else. Like, seriously, going to Santa Claus' workshop in order to get a warlogog? On paper, it sounded insane. It shouldn't work on any level. But… well, the Goofy Titans insisted. They told him this was the best thing to do right now, as well as the answer to their prayers.
So, he relented.
His team followed the Goofy Titans to the North Pole, a sentence that Robin never in a million years would've thought he'd act out. Like, how were they supposed to get to the North Pole? Cross through the seven layers of the Candy Cane Forest and go through the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gumdrops? He didn't know on any level. Heck, about halfway through their journey, he had questioned his team whether or not he was the only one who thought that the Goofy Titans had completely lost their marbles. Cyborg had insisted that they keep following the Goofy Titans though, if only because this plan, if it actually worked, was exactly what the group needed. Even with that sentiment, Robin was still skeptical.
But then, he noticed some things about the landscape. For one thing, it started to snow, despite the fact that the Goofy Titans' home looked like it was right in the middle of summer. He also saw one or two sights that made him do a double-take. Were… were those candy canes growing in the ground? Were those reindeer carrying… holy crap, were those reindeer carrying elves? Not some people dressed up as elves, but real, actual elves? How was that even possible? Santa didn't exist in Robin's home dimension, despite all of the fantastical elements that Robin had encountered in his travels. So, how was it that Santa existed in this universe? Sure, it was goofy, but not that goofy. Right?
Well, Robin soon would find out just how goofy this place was. He kept seeing other things, like walking gingerbread men and living snowmen. Robin noticed Starfire and Beast Boy looked absolutely delighted to see these, even going so far as to scream and laugh uncontrollably. Cyborg stared at these sights in wide-eyed amazement, looking at Robin like he had any explanation for why this was possible (he didn't. Most definitely didn't). Robin, while racking his own brain, looked over at the Goofy Titans. He didn't quite know what to expect when it came to their body language and reactions, but he was surprised to see Robin giggling maniacally.
"That jolly old elf won't know what hit him." He cackled. "He's caused us so much trouble in the past; I think it's about time we returned the favor!"
Robin blinked. Wait, that met Santa before? Huh. Somehow, he wasn't nearly as surprised as he supposed he should be.
Before long, the Titans walked up a hill. When they got to the top, and when they saw what was below them, Robin's jaw dropped. Santa's workshop sat in the snow, glowing with Christmas lights and painted with the most appealing red paint job in the world. A neon sign had been put on top of it, and it said "Santa's Workshop" in bright flashing lights. Robin had to slap himself across the cheek, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"I don't believe it." He shook his head. "I don't believe this!"
"Oh, Santa's workshop looks the most whimsical!" said Starfire. She giggled. "The twinkling lights adorning the walls are the most delightful."
Beast Boy's eyes glimmered. "Dude, if Santa is real in this universe, do you think I can ask him for that new Mega Monkeys game? I've been dying to play that for months. Ooh, or maybe I can finally get a new moped! Oh man, that would be sweet!"
Robin laughed and turned around. "Oh trust me, Serious Titans. There is no sweetness or happiness to be found in this place!" He looked back down at the workshop. "Santa is one of the most annoying baddies we have ever faced."
Robin snickered. "Wait, wait. Santa Claus… freaking SANTA CLAUS is a villain in this universe?"
"Better believe it!" said Beast Boy. He looked down at the workshop. "We need to be sneaky, yo. If Old Santy finds out we be snooping around in his workshop looking for his warlogog, he's gonna have a hissy fit."
"Oh yes," said Starfire. "It will be most unpleasant."
Robin's jaw dropped. He looked over at Cyborg. "Okay, are we sure that everything that's happened since we met the Master of Games isn't some sort of elaborate fever dream?"
Cyborg shrugged. "Wouldn't be surprised if it was at this point."
"Okay, guys!" Robin looked back at all the Titans. "I will say this in the most respectable and nice way possible!" He winked at Starfire, who giggled and gave him a thumbs-up. "We need to do this quickly and quietly. Stick close to the walls, hide in the shadows, and most importantly, don't let anyone in there see you. This has to go well; we go in, we go out. Understand everyone?"
"Yeah dude," said Beast Boy. He gave Robin a grin. "Also, nice way of being respectable for once."
Robin chuckled. "It felt a little weird doing it, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it."
With that, all eight of the present Titans crept to the workshop. They pressed their bodies against the red wall, and Robin pointed up toward one of the many tall windows. With a quietness that some might consider impossible, Starfire used her eye beams to burn a hole through the window, allowing the guys to sneak in. Robin used his grappling hook, touching down extra softly while everyone else snuck in along with him. Once they were all in, Robin shushed them and started leading the way. Robin tried to keep his eyes entirely on his counterpart, but it was a little difficult because…
Well, it was Santa's Workshop! They were in the workshop of the real, actual Santa Claus! Even with the lights turned off, the sights to see in here were certainly colorful and inviting. Conveyor belts stretched all around the room, with cogs and strings hanging from the ceiling. Presents galore were everywhere, stacked high and glittering even in the lack of light. The whole place also smelled distinctly of melted chocolate, which was enough to make Robin's mouth water.
Of course, the sights weren't enough to quell his confusion. He tapped on Beast Boy, who just so happened to have taken on the form of a reindeer. "So…" he whispered. "What were the circumstances under which you guys met Santa."
Beast Boy chuckled. "Well, one time, we were on his naughty list, so we came here to get off of it. We reminded him that Christmas is all about the presents, which allowed him to make the right choice when it came to giving us gifts."
Robin made a face. "Um, I'm sorry? Since when is Christmas all about gifts? In my dimension, we remember Christmas as a time of giving, a time of peace on Earth and goodwill to men!"
Beast Boy chuckled again, this sound a little bit louder than the previous one. "Your dimension sounds weird, bro!" Robin looked over at his team when this was said. All they had in response to this statement was one collective shrug.
"Keep it the down," Starfire whispered. "I believe we are approaching the part of the workshop where Santa does the hanging out."
Robin looked up ahead, noticing the change in the room. Instead of a full, decked-out warehouse, they now appeared to be entering a simple hallway. Nodding, he stuck closer to the walls, creeping along them like some sort of flea-ridden mouse (both Beast Boys even turned into mice at this section, as if to prove Robin's point). They stayed so quiet that Robin couldn't even hear himself breathing. He kept looking over his shoulder, both to keep his eyes on his teammates as well as to make sure no one was in the workshop who would see them and set off any alarms.
"Guys!" Cyborg whispered fiercely. "Elves!"
Robin looked up ahead to see two elves, standing in front of a door they appeared to be guarding. Robin decided that he should probably be the one to deal with them, as he knew how to do that discreetly. However, before he even took a step, his double chuckled.
"Don't worry guys, I got this." Using the natural blackness of his cape to blend in with the shadows, he snuck toward the elves. Swiftly and silently, he pulled something out (Robin guessed it was a chloroform cloth) and held it in front of one of the elves' mouths. They didn't even scream as they got knocked out. Their fellow elf buddy raised an eyebrow when they saw them collapse, not even aware of the fact that Robin was behind them. Robin covered their mouth too. They passed into sleep with ease.
"Okay!" Robin gave the Titans the thumbs-up, a sight that actually made Robin smile. It appeared his double could be competent when he wanted to be.
On that note, Robin picked the lock on the door and opened it. He gestured for the others to sneak in, which they did quickly. Robin saw they were in a room with an enormous fireplace, and a red armchair rested in front of said fireplace. Robin could just barely hear someone breathing in the chair across the room. His eyes grew wide; was that Santa?
Robin didn't waste any time. He gestured for the Titans to stay still, and he tiptoed toward the chair. Robin held his breath, unsure what would happen. Oh, please let this go well. PLEASE let this go…
Before he knew it, a whole assortment of missiles and bombs dropped down from the ceiling (Robin must've accidentally walked over some kind of laser). The Titans let out one big, collective shriek and jumped back. The person who was in the chair turned toward him. Robin's breath caught in his breath when he saw it was Santa himself, holding both a warlogog and some kind of pistol.
"Ho ho ho." He grinned wickedly. "What took you so long?"