Chapter 41 Ho Ho Ho

Robin's eyes grew wide. His heart pounded as he stared at this… really really really weird sight. Santa was holding a gun! A flipping GUN! Why in the world… universe… why in the vast multiverse would he ever hold a gun? That was just messed up! There was no real way for him to wrap his mind around this, around the fact that SANTA CLAUS was ready to pump them full of lead.

"Oh my gosh," Beast Boy said. He stared at Santa, his eyes shining in the oddest way. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It's Santa Claus! He's right there!"

"I know!" Cyborg grinned, grinning at Santa while the jolly old elf gave every one of them a raised eyebrow. "Oh man, every single dream I've had as a child is about to come true!"

Robin snorted. "And every nightmare too, considering he's holding a GUN!"

Santa laughed out loud when that was said. "Ho ho ho! My my, it is such an interesting thing to know that there are more Teen Titans." He sharpened his expression into a glare. "Or at least, it would be if I didn't hate the Titans with every fiber of my being!"

Robin sniffed. "Yeah yeah yeah, it's nice to see you too, Santa." He took a step forward, wearing a brave face. "Listen, we have come…"

"To get my warlogog?" Santa chortled, his belly shaking. "I figured as much. I knew you would want to get your naughty mitts on it one day." He looked down at the warlogog, his eyes shining in a way very similar to the artifact's surface. "I'll just make this easier for you, Titans. I'm not going to give it to you! Not over my dead body!"

Starfire raised an eyebrow. "How does that make things the easier for us? I think it would make things harder!"

Santa smirked. "You know, you're absolutely right." He laughed again. "Ho ho ho! Oh, I can already tell that this is going to be fun!"

Robin's blood boiled over. Forgetting who he was talking to for a brief instant, he stepped forward with gritted teeth. "Listen, we need that warlogog. And we aren't leaving this workshop until you hand it over!"

"Well then," Santa said, grinning a wicked grin so unbefitting of him. "It looks like you aren't leaving at all!" He cackled, a sound that actually made chills run up and down Robin's spine. He backed up with wide eyes, almost running into Cyborg. "You know, I don't think just a simple beat down will be fitting enough for a showdown with eight Teen Titans. It's time for me to unleash… my secret weapon!"

Beast Boy blinked, shaking like a Mexican jumping bean as his double tried to console him. "Uh…" he swallowed a lump, all previous excitement from before having vanished right into the ether. "What exactly would your secret weapon be?"

"Oh, you'll see." Santa pulled out a remote from his pocket, pressing down on the big red button it had in the center. When he did, a creaking sound came from the other side of the room. Robin turned, his heart pounding in his head. All the Titans' eyes were wide as the door opened, allowing a plump, silver-haired, red-dressed woman to enter the room. She giggled as she looked at the Titans, sounding like she was going to kill them and mount their heads on the wall as trophies.

"Titans," Santa said, his voice extra slimy. "Allow me to introduce… my wife!"

The Titans let out a collective gasp. "You… you're Mrs. Claus?" Robin asked, his disbelief reaching catastrophic levels.

The woman chuckled. "Oh, Mrs. Claus makes me sound so old. I would prefer if we refer to each other on a first-name basis." She sneered. "Call me… Megan!"

Goosebumps formed over Robin's arms. He swallowed a lump, exchanging looks with his teammates and the goofy Titans alike. Almost all of them looked as upset and frightened as he was, and they only got more scared as "Megan" slowly approached. It was like she was the lion, and they were a bunch of gazelles.

"Wait." Starfire rose into the air, looking from Megan to Santa. "Please, dear mythical holiday figures. Do you really believe this to be necessary?" Her brow furrowed. "Look past the grudges you may hold and listen to your hearts. Would it really be the worth it for you to kill us in this manner?" She looked at Santa, her eyes glimmering. "Please Mr. Santa Claus, it doesn't have to be this way. We don't have to fight; this issue can be solved peacefully if we allow it to be. In fact…"

"Ughhh… are you finished yet?" Santa turned the safety off on his pistol. "I've been looking forward to defeating the Titans for years now; I'm not going to wait any longer!"

Starfire did a double-take. She closed her eyes, an angered expression appearing on her face. "Well then…" she opened her eyes, which now glowed green. "So be it."

With that, she shot eye beams in Santa's direction. Santa shrieked and jumped out of the chair, just barely avoiding getting hit. From behind the chair, he readied his pistol and aimed it at Starfire. It hit her in the chest, sending her flying into the wall near Megan.

"Starfire!" Robin yelled. He rushed over to her, but to his shock, Megan made a giant silver fist materialize out of what looked to be thin air. Robin just barely stopped himself from rushing toward Starfire, but it was unfortunately too late. The fist shot forward, hitting Robin and sending him flying backward. His back made contact with the wall, an event that caused him more pain than he had felt in a long time. He groaned, trying to push the fist off of him. As he did, he heard shouts from the others, as well as the typical sounds one usually associated with a Teen Titans battle.

"Robin!" As Robin groaned, he heard Cyborg rushing forward. Based on the way the air moved, Robin had a feeling that Starfire was accompanying him. His theory was proven right when the fist got lifted off of him by the goofy alien princess. He had to admit, he was impressed by this, as her little bobblehead self seemed to do it without breaking a sweat.

"Th…" he winced, sucking air through his teeth as he pulled himself out of the crater that had formed in the wall. "Thanks, Star."

"No problem." Starfire looked at him, giggling as she did. "I couldn't just sit back and let such a handsome hero like you get hurt."

Robin seized up. "Uh…" his eyes traveled around the workshop, trying to look anywhere other than the lovestruck heroine. Just as he was starting to sweat, Cyborg stepped.

"Look, can we save the flirting for later?" He turned back to the battle, raging in the closed corridors of this tiny little room. "We've got to get that warlogog!"

"Right," Robin said with a nod. Despite his injuries, he raised himself up to his full height. "Cyborg, try to get Megan. Starfire, you blast Santa behind with a starbolt."

"Sure thing!" Both heroes said in unison. Cyborg charged, aiming his sonic cannon at the psychotic witch who claimed to be Santa's wife. Starfire shot forward, a starbolt charging in her hand. Since Santa was locked in a battle with Robin, he seemed to be distracted enough for this plan to work. She aimed her starbolt…

Only for Santa to turn around and shoot her. She fell to the ground, wincing as she tried to lift herself up. Santa cackled, putting the barrel of the gun directly on top of Starfire's temple.

"NO!" Robin shouted. He thwacked Santa in the back of the head with his bo staff. "NOBODY HURTS MY STARFIRE!" He thwacked Santa a second time, yelling at the top of his voice as he did. Growling, Santa shot him in the face. Robin ran at him too, but Santa shot him as well, making him tumble to the floor.

"Santa, darling!" Megan called out as the two Beast Boys and two Cyborgs surrounded her. "I'm afraid I'm being overpowered!"

Santa grinned. "Then let's move this to the workroom!" He cringed. "I don't want to get my private corridors dirty anyway."

With that, he and Megan rushed out, with Santa still keeping a firm hand on his warlogog. Robin pulled himself to his feet, noticing a smoky smell emanating from his costume. That didn't matter though. Not when the battle wasn't even close to over.

"Guys, go after them!" He shouted. The Cyborgs and Beast Boys nodded and bolted out of the room (with the latter two turning into cheetahs in order to do so). This just left the two Robins and the hurt Starfires. Robin ran over to his Starfire, while Robin did the same for his.

"Star, you alright?" Robin asked as he lifted her head up.

Starfire coughed. "I… I will be." She winced as Robin helped her rise to her feet. "This isn't the worst I've endured."

Robin sighed in relief. He looked over at Robin, who was following his example and was raising his Starfire to her feet. Once all four of them were all set, he looked toward the door. "Come on, guys. We've still got a warlogog to get."

"Right!" The other three said in unison. The Starfires rose into the air and flew out of the room, with the two Robins running alongside them. When they got to to large, open workroom portion of the workshop, Robin noticed Cyborg aiming his sonic cannon at the ceiling. This confused him until he saw some gears fall from the ceiling, crushing the conveyor belts they landed on and utterly destroying the presents they rolled over.

Santa growled as he got out of the way of one of the gears. "YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY WORKSHOP!" He pulled what looked like a walkie-talkie out of his pocket. "Attention all Santa's elves!" Robin's heart rate spiked when he heard Santa's voice being projected through some sort of intercom system. "All are required to help old Santa out in the workshop! We've got some naughty superheroes on our hands!"

The second… the very second he finished saying that, the doors in various parts of the workshop opened. Robin shrieked when he saw throngs of elves, stampeding their way into the workshop. Sweat poured down Robin's back, and he watched in terror as the Cyborgs and Beast Boys got run over by these creatures.

"Yes! Yes!" Santa laughed. "Ho ho ho, you really are Santa's little helpers!" He cleared his throat. "All those who are trained, grab your candy guns and start shooting!" He turned toward his wife. "Megan, my dearest love, activate your ultra mega sonic blast!"

"With pleasure." Megan ran across the workshop, opening up a present wrapped up in red and silver wrapping paper. Out of it, she pulled out what looked like a giant ray gun. Giggling, she pressed a button, starting the warming-up process. "Oh, it looks like Christmas is coming early for me today!'

That was enough for Robin to know that he needed to act now. He charged at Megan, reaching into his pockets and pulling out his birdrangs. He was just about to throw one of them when something hit him in the shoulder. "AAH!" He fell to the ground. Putting his hand to the wound, he saw that he had been splattered by a shot of melted chocolate. He gritted his teeth, looking up at the elf who had shot him.

"Say goodnight, birdie boy!" He aimed the gun, ready to shoot more chocolate. Robin braced himself to get shot, but before that happened, Robin got in the way. Using his bo staff, he deflected all of the shots. He wore a serious face when he did this, and he stepped closer and closer to the shooter the more chocolate shocks he managed to deflect. Fear appeared in the elf's eyes just before Robin pounced on him, landing on his head and pounding him onto the ground.

Robin smiled as he lifted himself up. "Thanks, Robin." His double smiled when he said that, an expression Robin mirrored as he came over. "You know, you aren't so bad at this crime-fighting thing."

Robin smirked. "Thanks. I spent a lot of time…"

Before he could finish, a group of elves pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. Robin gasped. He jumped towards them, determined to help his double, but ended up getting pounced on and pinned down himself while he was still in the air.

Robin struggled against the elves' hold. "Let me go!"

"Yeah, let us go!" Robin yelled.

"Ho ho ho." Santa came up to the two of them. By lifting his head slightly, Robin saw that the Cyborgs, Beast Boys, and Starfires were also pinned down. Each one of them struggled, but the elves were surprisingly strong. Robin's heart sank at this sight, and he only grew more despondent when Santa and Megan walked up to him and his double.

"Well well well," Santa said. "Looks like I finally get the chance to destroy the Titans!" He giggled. "I always wished for this day to come. I even added it to my Christmas wishlist."

Robin grunted, still struggling against the elves. They didn't budge; in fact, some of them even stuck their nails into his arm. Fighting the pain, Robin could only watch helplessly as Santa and Megan walked over to Robin, with the giant ray gun still charging up in Megan's hand.

"And you know, I think it's only fitting that we destroy the most annoying member of the most annoying superhero team first." He grinned at Megan. "Okay sweetie, do your worst!"

Megan chuckled. Robin's fear reached never-before-seen levels as he watched the ray gun building up over his double's form. Oh, what could they do?