Uncontrolled

"Haymitch!" The loud call woke Haymitch from his restless sleep. His survival instinct, which he had brought out of the arena with him, contributed to him being awakened by even the slightest noise.

Haymitch's body flinched, his eyes widened and a split second later he jumped up, his knife in his right hand. He had to push a strand of hair out of his face to realize he was in his room at the Training Center. So no danger. At least not an acute one.

He looked around confused, wondering what had woken him. Another shout from the door, followed by a knock, answered his question. He sighed to himself. This woman was going to drive him crazy. His grey eyes wandered to the alarm clock on the nightstand, which he never really looked at. It was early morning, she was most likely calling him for breakfast. As if it made any difference whether he was sitting there or not.

Slowly, Haymitch trotted toward the door. His hand rested on the doorknob, he sighed again, and then opened the door in a lightning-fast movement to scare Effie as much as possible. He had to take a step back when the young woman, who had just been about to knock again, almost fell into him.

"Good morning. You could have said something," she remarked pointedly, eyeing him from head to toe. "You are not even dressed yet." Effie was already dressed up, wrapped from head to toe in a colorful costume, just as the Capitol expected of her. Haymitch had to smile.

"What is so funny?" she asked, her crystal-clear eyes fixing on him restlessly. For a moment, Haymitch met her gaze, wondering if her eyes were actually that blue, or if they were actually just contact lenses.

Haymitch could see that his behavior was making her nervous. He hadn't spoken a word yet – she surely wasn't used to such uncouth behavior as an arrogant Capitol girl. Obviously unsettled, Effie took a step back and broke eye contact with him. Her cheeks turned red, and his grin widened smugly.

"You woke me up," he remarked as grumpily as possible, continuing to stare at her with an intentionally grouchy expression.

"I beg your pardon," Effie began, her voice quieter than before, raising her head again. She gave him a small smile and tilted her head to the side. "I just wanted to make sure we all had breakfast together. I believe it is extremely important for the tributes to be prepared in a pleasant atmosphere from the very beginning."

Haymitch sighed. "It's all right, sweetheart. I'm just messing with you. I don't care why you woke me up, I didn't want to know all that," Haymitch grumbled and looked down at himself for the first time. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a loose white shirt, hardly up to her standards. Haymitch wondered if she even knew what sweatpants were.

"I would appreciate it if you cared," Effie said, shrugging her shoulders – hardly a ladylike gesture. "We have breakfast at nine, so please be on time." She was about to leave when Haymitch reached for her arm. Somewhat surprised, she turned back to him and stared at his hand, which effortlessly clasped her forearm. Something in her eyes told him that people in the Capitol rarely allowed such physical contact.

"You seem to be misunderstanding a few things," he tried to explain to Effie and let her go. "I'm not the brilliant mentor you want me to be. I already tried to explain this to you in Twelve. I don't do things like winning sponsors or coaching the tributes." He demonstratively crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame. Haymitch waited for her reaction, which certainly wouldn't be good. Her beautifully dreamed house of cards was about to collapse.

But to his surprise, Effie just shook her head in confusion. Her eyes widened as she started to speak. "I do not understand. You are the mentor, why would you not do these things? It is your job, your duty. Just as it is my duty to take care of my tasks."

Haymitch wanted to groan and give Effie a good shake. She was the Capitol's perfect puppet, he realized, and chastised himself for having tried to ignore this fact for so long. She wasn't a bad person, she helped Elowen and could empathize with the girl – at least to a certain extent. But she couldn't see outside the box. After all, she was subjected to the brainwashing of the Capitol on a daily basis, how could she be otherwise?

"You don't understand any of this," Haymitch finally said after a long silence. At the same time, he felt the urge for a drink. He suddenly felt sorry for Effie, sorry for her unawareness. A fact he immediately banished from his mind. "You might be here voluntarily because you really wanted this coveted job. Good for you." His voice had taken on an unfriendly tone and this time he meant it. He could see Effie's posture tense up at his words. "I'm not here by choice, I'm only here because you force me to be here every year. So I'm not going to help you prepare children to die in the arena. I'm just playing along, drinking my drinks, and making sure I miss out on as much of it as possible." Haymitch almost spat the words at her and was about to slam the door in her face when he saw the stunned look in her eyes.

"But ..." Effie stammered, overwhelmed. She tried to absorb Haymitch's words. Was she really trying to understand them? Was she trying to make sense of them? Ultimately, the gears in her head seemed to come to a halt, and all that remained was confusion. "But you won the Hunger Games, you should be overjoyed and grateful."

This made Haymitch laugh. "Grateful? Sweetheart, don't start sounding like Petunia, or the good mood between us will be over in an instant. I survived because I was lucky. Gratitude surely doesn't play a role in that."

"I did not mean to upset you, Haymitch," Effie blurted out, her hand moving to her forehead. "Where did this conversation lead? I did not mean to stir up bad blood between us, I truly did not."

Haymitch inwardly cursed her for this. Why was she so understanding? How was it even possible when all Capitols he had encountered so far had the empathy of a mayfly? He couldn't be mad at her, no matter how much of a Capitol she seemed to be. Effie wasn't Snow, she didn't hold a grudge against him. She was just a young woman raised by the Capitol. Who knew what would have become of him if he had grown up here.

"Never mind," Haymitch said without looking at her. Even as he said the words, he already knew it wasn't true. An Effie who didn't recognize the truth as such was much worse than an Effie who wasn't interested in the truth. It made the whole situation much more complicated and unpleasant. "I have a different perspective on the Games, even if you can't understand it."

"I would like to understand," Effie said after a long pause. Suddenly Haymitch felt a spark of hope in his chest. Could it really be that she could grasp the truth? "I have the image of your Games in my mind all the time, and yet I don't see how you so not feel an ounce of gratitude for your victory."

The spark died out as quickly as had come. Her words felt like a hard punch to the stomach. "You've seen my games?" What a stupid question, of course she had seen them. She had probably watched them on TV as a little girl back then and had now been watching them again for a refreshment.

"Yes, I did," Effie replied, confused again. "From the start, you did not look like a happy victor. And yet you barely survived, and that was with twice the number of tributes."

"You have no idea," Haymitch hissed at her. "For you, it's just a stupid show that airs on television once a year. For the rest of the country, it's hell on earth. You take our children away from us, put them in arenas and force them to slaughter each other, even though they don't know each other or have ever done anything to each other. You're all monsters!" With these words, Haymitch slammed the door in Effie's face.

He hastily crossed the room and grabbed a bottle of liquor that he had stolen from the bar. Carelessly, he threw the bottle cap on the floor. He knew he wouldn't need it anymore.

oOo

Effie was still standing in front of the door to Haymitch's room. Her lips pressed together, she considered his words. For the rest of the country, it's hell on earth. The Capitol was superior to the Districts, Effie had always been aware of that. But she didn't know what this hierarchy meant for the Districts. She had been in 12 once and had never left the Capitol before that. District 12 was very different from the Capitol, but Effie had thought nothing of it. Different cultures meant different customs and that was not a bad thing.

For Effie, the Hunger Games were nothing bad. It was an opportunity that had been given to her. A chance that she had to use to bring glory to her family and make her mother proud. Children died every year, Haymitch was right about that. In her head, Effie tried to find some justification for it, something that would justify these deaths. But to her own surprise, she couldn't. It was the first time Effie had ever really thought about the deaths of the children. They were children who died, yet it didn't really feel real. Death in general didn't feel … real to her. Just like every movie was scripted and acted out, the Hunger Games felt like they just put actors in front of the camera. The showmanship surrounding the Games made the event feel less real.

The pang in Effie's chest came suddenly and without warning, stealing her breath and sending a tingling sensation through her fingers. Slowly, she lowered her head and thought about Elowen and Ramon. It was only now that it truly dawned on her that the two might not be alive in two weeks. Yet, the whole matter still didn't feel entirely real to Effie. The mere thought that they could be irreversibly dead seemed to make no sense to her brain, as if it didn't grasp the concept of death. Effie couldn't explain this fact to herself, leaving an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. Like a sinister premonition of something she feared.

"Stop this nonsense," she heard herself whisper, and a part of her wondered about it. Yet, the rational part of Effie had already shaken off her jumbled thoughts. She straightened her back, lifted her head, and turned her back on Haymitch's door. "Let Haymitch wallow, you have a schedule to keep."

oOo

To Effie's dismay, Haymitch didn't show up for breakfast, and neither did Ramon. "Have you seen Ramon since we arrived at the Training Center?" she asked Elowen, who was sitting across the table from her and was cutting a dark bread into slices.

The young girl raised her head and her emerald green eyes sparkled at her. She has such pretty eyes, Effie thought, suppressing a sigh. She hoped fervently that her stylist would make a dress that would really do her justice.

Elowen shook her head and narrowed her eyes in a thoughtful gesture. "Now that you mention it," she said quietly. "I haven't seen him in a while."

Effie knew that this was not a good sign. Today was the tributes' first day of training and she had to drop them off in the Entrance Hall after breakfast. And that meant that Effie would soon be forced to look for Ramon. He had most likely not left his room since they had last met. But Effie would still have to pay him a visit. Just the thought of it made the young woman's throat tighten. Her appetite disappeared immediately.

Despite her bad feeling, she nodded at Elowen's statement and gave her a smile. "Then I think I should better go and see if he is alright," Effie answered. "I apologize for leaving you here alone, love. Unfortunately, our schedule is very tight today."

Elowen just shrugged and smiled softly. By now she had cut the bread into several slices and topped them with cheese. "I'm just eating anyway."

Effie nodded and stood up. She looked at the bread in Elowen's hands and wondered for a moment if it came from District 12. It wasn't Capitol bread, she realized. "Remember to change into the workout clothes that were brought to your room right away," she reminded Elowen and then quickly left the living area.

With every step her legs took, the uneasy feeling in Effie's chest grew. Every cell in her body resisted going to Ramon's room. The closer she got to his room, the harder it became to push the image of his distorted eyes out of her mind.

A minute later, she found herself in front of Haymitch's door, her heart pounding. She pounded her fist against the heavy wood more forcefully than before. As she waited for an answer, she felt the blood pounding in her ears. She continued to wait, but he didn't open the door. Effie sighed to herself and couldn't ignore the dejected feeling that seemed to grow. Why did everything that concerned him always have to be so difficult?

"Haymitch, please, I need your help," Effie asked loudly and lowered her head. With her right hand, she leaned on the doorframe. Exhaustion overcame her suddenly. Begging here was definitely beneath her dignity, no matter how uncomfortable Ramon made her feel.

But then she heard heavy footsteps from the other side of the door and a moment later Haymitch had thrown the door open in a jerky gesture. "What do you want?" It sounded more like a growl than a question.

"I have to accompany the children to training soon," Effie began carefully, looking into Haymitch's face. A glassy veil lay over his eyes and his cheeks were slightly flushed. He was still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing an hour ago, but now he had a bottle in his hand. Effie didn't even have to look closely to know that it was something alcoholic. "None of us have seen Ramon since yesterday. Could you please come to his room with me and persuade him to attend training? I do not think he will do it unless someone forces him to. It is mandatory, after all."

Haymitch studied Effie for a moment and then leaned back. "Sorry, sweetheart, but that's hardly my job. If you're not able to handle your tributes, then you're not the right person for the job," he clarified in a neutral voice and took a sip from the dark bottle.

Panic threatened to overwhelm Effie. When she had applied for the position of an escort, no one had told her that there would be tributes who would hold personal grudges against her. "But ... you know what he did. He will try again. I am just asking you to help me. It is no big deal, really."

She wanted to be annoyed at the pleading tone in her voice. Effie Trinket didn't beg, ever. But the thought of going to Ramon alone gave her such goosebumps that she lowered herself to this level. Effie had never felt a sense of threat like this before. Feelings like fear or panic were completely alien to her. And the fact that she even begged Haymitch for it only made it even more incomprehensible to her.

"But I couldn't care less about what he might do. After all, he has a good reason for it. In fact, it's nothing compared to what you've been doing to us all these years," Haymitch replied, rejection flickering in his eyes. Despite the alcohol, he still seemed to be more or less in his right mind, which only shocked Effie more. He threw her to the sharks and even enjoyed it. What you've been doing to us for all these years. She couldn't follow him. She didn't understand what he was accusing her of.

"I cannot believe you are that kind of person," Effie said through clenched teeth, turning around and leaving him there. She felt Haymitch's gaze on her back as she rounded the next corner of the hallway and disappeared from his sight.

With shaking legs, Effie made her way to Ramon's quarters. She consciously focused on inhaling and exhaling to maintain controlled breathing. She couldn't believe how easily Haymitch had let her down. Of course, he hardly knew her and didn't owe her anything, but out of politeness alone he could have granted her request. After all, she hadn't asked anything impossible of him. Were the people in the Districts all like him?

Sweat formed on the insides of her palms as she came to a stop in front of Ramon's door. "You are Effie Trinket. You are a strong woman, and you will not let a boy like him intimidate you," she murmured quietly to herself. It actually helped a little. Effie raised her head and stared at the door. Then she took a step towards it and without thinking about it again, she knocked. You have dealt with far more obnoxious men than him before. And he is just a boy.

Just like with Haymitch, there was no response to her knock. She knew Ramon was in his room. She could practically feel the presence of his body. "Ramon," Effie called, her voice as nonjudgmental as possible. But she wasn't going to beat around the bush. She had quickly learned that her manners wouldn't get her anywhere with him. "I will ask you only once to open your door. If you do not obey, I will call a Peacekeeper to do it for you."

Effie wasn't a big fan of threats, but in his case, she saw a threat as the only way to get him to take action. Ramon had already made it clear to her that he didn't recognize her authority, so he would have to submit to a higher power. Effie was right, because it didn't take him long to open the door. She held her breath as he flung the door open. His dark eyes pierced her and the sharpness in his expression was unmistakable. Ramon had risen to his full height in front of her, looking down at her with a mixture of anger and arrogance.

"I didn't think you'd have the nerve to show up here after our last encounter," he said in a calm, almost gentle tone. His brown hair was combed, and he was wearing the training clothes that were intended for today. "And yet here you are."

Effie knew the calm was just a show. And yet she was surprised that Ramon was wearing the clothes. He was complying with Capitol regulations. Or was this just a staged act? Or did he simply harbor resentment against her? Maybe because she had drawn his name? She didn't know. "I wonder how you could entertain such an absurd notion that I would not come look after you," Effie replied as indifferently but politely as possible. "I see you have already changed. I am here to pick you up for training."

Instead of answering, Ramon just pierced her with another look. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. His expression was frozen into an opaque mask. Effie had straightened up just as he had, her back stiff and straight. She wouldn't show any weakness in front of him, after all, she was Effie Trinket.

After half a minute of silence, Ramon suddenly started to laugh. It was a mocking laugh. He leaned his elbow against the door frame and now took up Effie's entire view. She was standing barely a meter away from him. She suddenly realized that he could just grab her and drag her into his room if he wanted to. Every fiber of her body wanted to take a step back, but Effie didn't want to concede that victory to him, no matter how strongly the panic ate through her veins. Instead, she questioningly raised an eyebrow.

"You're really sweet, you know that?" Ramon's facade fell and he evilly smiled down at her. Then he reached out and grabbed one of the blonde strands of her wig. Seemingly interested, he wrapped it around his finger. The smile on his face only grew. Effie's heart gave an unpleasant lurch.

"You do not understand what game you are playing here," she quietly whispered to him and leaned towards him. "I am untouchable to you, and if you so much as harm a hair on my head, these will be the worst final days any tribute could imagine." Effie wanted to sound threatening. But that was difficult as a woman who was firstly more than a head shorter and only ten years older than her counterpart.

"You're pathetic and you know it. You hide behind the Capitol like they care if I hurt you. All they care about is putting on a good show. A dead escort sounds like an excellent show to me." Ramon smiled again, but there was an expression in his eyes that Effie couldn't interpret. An expression that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. A moment later, his other hand shot to her throat and then her feet lost their grip.

Ramon had lifted her up. His hands were around Effie's throat, and she felt his thumbs pressing against her larynx. For a moment he just held her in the air, and she feared that he would just let her suffocate here and now. A gasp escaped her as Ramon crossed the corridor in a few steps and then pushed her against the opposite wall.

Effie tried to scream, she tried to breathe. But nothing more than a hoarse gasp could emerge from her throat. Her mouth gaped open, gasping for air, but the grip around her throat was getting tighter. Almost automatically, her hands shot up to Ramon's fingers. She pressed her long nails into his skin, hoping it would hurt enough for him to let go of her. He didn't seem to care at all.

She hung in the air, likely just a few inches above the ground. Her legs flailed about, searching for purchase. She couldn't find it. Her heart was racing in her chest. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Effie felt the lack of oxygen starting to make itself felt. The edges of her vision grew darker, her movements slower and less controlled. She kicked him between the legs as hard as she could.

Ramon groaned and let go of her. Effie landed roughly on the hard ground and it took her a second to gasp for air. Then she turned her head to Ramon, who was standing just a few steps away from her, glaring down at her. He looked like a monster who had lost control of his actions. And yet, he was just a boy.

Effie didn't hesitate. She quickly turned around and crawled a few meters along the ground, trying to get up. She staggered to her feet and ran. Her high heels weren't much help in escaping her attacker. She heard Ramon snort angrily behind her. He stamped loudly on the ground as he gave chase. The boy was a lot faster than her.

Ramon grabbed her by the hair of her wig and violently pulled her back towards him. Effie screamed, at least that's what she wanted to do. Only a loud scratchy sound emerged from her throat, which was the only sound that echoed through the hallway. Effie wanted to shout and order him to let her go. But there was no time for that. She pushed herself against his grip with all her strength. She felt the pins on her wig come loose and then she managed to pull away from him. He was left with nothing but the wig in his hand.

"You bitch," came out of his mouth. He hadn't slowed down a bit. Effie turned to him and saw him throwing the wig to the floor in an aggressive gesture.

Ramon had almost caught up with her again when she turned the corner of the hallway and collided with Haymitch, who had tried to turn the corner just as carelessly as she had. Effie felt his hands grasp her forearms and pull her toward him. She blindly stumbled after him, not really knowing what his intentions were. Haymitch released her as quickly as he had touched her. Effie heard a thud, then silence.

Out of breath, she turned around and stared in disbelief at the scene before her. Ramon lay unconscious on the floor. His eye was swollen and blood was flowing from his nose down his neck. Haymitch stood over him, his fist outstretched.

Well ... this isn't going according to plan. At least on Effie's part. Let me know what you think! :)