This author's note includes some insight into the twisted mind of the writer you are handing your time over to: *ahem* This fic has become a slow burn that I originally did not expect. I know that some of you love the scenes and relationship building with the other characters but I also know all of you just want Bella and Carlisle to freaking get together and be in love, okay?! I know because I also want that. But as I started writing this it became very clear to me that I wanted to make sure that this wasn't just a story about Bella and Carlisle falling in love. That is the main premise and is obviously very important but I have realized that it is important for the whole family to fall in love with Bella. As the partner of their parent figure, I feel that her connection with each of the children is just as (or maybe slightly as) important as her connection with him. I PROMISE THEY WILL MAKE PROGRESS COUPLE WISE SOON! I just need that authenticity to her friendships with the Cullen kids. Also the very first Bellisle fic that I read was over 100 chapters and there was a lot of time spent building her relationships with Edward and the people around them. That is what converted me to this ship and I read that fic at least once a year because it was perfectly crafted and executed. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

ALSO THIS CHAPTER IS ALMOST 5K WORDS. Someone tell Edward to reign it in.

The song for this chapter is Found Tonight by Ben Platt and Lin-Manuel Miranda. (Cue Broadway fangirling)

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Disclaimer: I'm only doing this for a friend. I don't get anything from it but her undying appreciation. I certainly don't get to have fun with Emmett and the boys in my head.

Chapter Fifteen: Found Tonight

BPOV

I felt like crap the next morning. I'd spent all night crying, quieting down enough when Charlie got home so that he wouldn't suspect anything. I'd told him that I had a migraine and was just going to go to bed. He hadn't bothered me but when I left my room after I heard him go to bed, I noticed that he'd left a can of Coke and some crackers by my door with a bottle of Tylenol. My heart cracked a bit at the thoughtful gesture. I'd taken them into my room before getting into the shower and crying quietly as the hot water ran over my face and body. I tried to imagine that the water was washing away my grief and struggles. Maybe it had or maybe I had just cried enough of it out of me but after getting out, I felt a little better. I still missed my mom but the pain was a dull ache instead of the sharp sting of loss that I'd been feeling.

I was hopeful that Charlie and I could make this work. It was awkward because I felt like he'd missed out on most of my life and in some ways, I didn't really know him. But he'd always made an effort to make me feel like he was supporting me and loved me. I supposed that we were both the casualties of a messy custody agreement.

I still didn't really know what Edward's problem was but I figured the only way to try and move past all the negativity was to move forward and get to know him. He was right: I loved his family and it was impossible for me to have a relationship with them but not with him.

As for Carlisle…

Logically, I knew that I needed to get past whatever insane crush I'd developed for the attractive, selfless doctor. It wasn't ever going to be accepted by either of our loved ones let alone society. That wasn't even mentioning the tiny issue of it being illegal for us to engage in a relationship while I was still underage. We had a whole maze of obstacles in the way of our having a happy ending.

I didn't even know if he'd ever feel the same way either. This whole thing could -and probably was -completely one sided. Aside from the flirty banter and tender connection we had shared, there wasn't really anything to lead me to believe that he felt anything more for me than that of a father for his children's friend. He'd certainly never tried to kiss me or propositioned me. I'd told myself that he was a gentleman but I had to wonder if maybe I was reading more into his actions and words than was really there because I was already half in love with him.

The thought of giving up these feelings, even as young and tender as they were, made me physically ill. It felt like chopping off a limb or denying myself something as necessary and integral to survival as oxygen. I had no idea why I felt so strongly. Grief, maybe? Whatever it was, I needed to make my best effort to set it aside and view Carlisle as nothing more than my friend's father and the town doctor.

The thought left a sour taste in my mouth.

I made it to school early and sat in my truck, avoiding any negative gossip or drama. I lost myself in a book and jumped when there was a knock on my passenger window. I looked up to see Edward standing in the rain and smirking at me as I fought to calm my racing heart. I leaned over to unlock the door and he climbed in, shutting the door behind him.

"Good morning, sunshine," he said cheerfully and I scowled. I felt like my puffy, bloodshot eyes and beleaguered countenance advertised what kind of night I'd had and he was trying to be annoyingly chipper on purpose.

"It is entirely too early for you to be smiling like that," I monotoned. His smile widened.

"Smiles are contagious."

"Don't worry. I'm vaccinated," I promised with a scowl.

"Somebody's cranky," he observed.

"Somebody needs to shut up," I snapped. His face fell and he studied me while I tried to hide my face in my book.

"Look, Bella, I know that we don't know each other that well but I'm still worried about you. Are you okay?" I heaved out a huge sigh.

"Sorry," I muttered. "It's just… there's just a lot going on with me and it's easy to lash out at you."

"Because I'm so awesome," he asked knowingly and my mouth twitched.

"I think you meant annoying."

"Trust me, you aren't the only one that thinks so," he said airily and I raised an eyebrow at him "Let's just say that you and Carlisle could start a club." My heart sped up at the mention of his name I mentally scolded myself.

"Are you about to tell me that you're a terrible child?"

"I am an extremely irritating child. Or at least, I am now."

"So Alice convinced you to side with her, huh?" He looked at me thoughtfully.

"Did Alice tell you what we're fighting about," he asked.

"No," I said with an eye roll. "Just that it was something good for Carlisle but he was resisting." His gaze sharpened and his look turned calculating.

"Maybe we should tell you," he murmured and I frowned.

"I'm not getting caught up in your family drama, Edward. Carlisle is a grown man; he can make his own decisions." Like choosing to sweep me off my feet and ride off into the sunset with me. I internally cursed my mind for immediately abandoning the quest to see Carlisle in a completely platonic fashion.

"Except this decision affects more than just him."

"It's none of my business. Besides, I highly doubt that Carlisle would be persuaded by my involvement. My opinion doesn't carry any weight with him."

"Maybe it carries more than you think," he pointed out and I mentally cursed my traitorous heart again for taking off like a herd of elephants at the thought. Before I could ask him just what he meant, someone was knocking on my driver side window and my heart took off again as I jumped. Emmett was standing there but instead of his normally unflappable and cheery demeanor he was glaring at Edward. I opened the door.

"Bells about to ring," he said and I grabbed my things and hopped out, slowing to wait for them. As soon as Edward was out of the truck, Emmett was leaning across the bed, speaking too low for me to make out most of it and pointing angrily at Edward, who was smirking and looked completely unbothered by his brother's berating. I caught some of Emmett's words when I stopped walking and strained to hear over the noise of the parking lot and student's preparing to get to class.

"... going to push him too far. You can't go spilling secrets, especially the ones that aren't yours to spill," Emmett admonished.

"His entire argument… moot if she… wanted this life. Her… important as his," Edward argued back lowly, his words fading in the rise of noise around us. He was no longer casual, instead he was leaning against my truck, his finger moving emphatically as he spoke. The bell echoed over the schoolyard and I expected their argument to end as they hurried to class but they continued their exchange as though school was the last thought on their minds. I heard my name being called from the sidewalk and turned to find Rosalie and Jasper. They gestured to me and I gave one last look at Edward and Emmett before joining them.

"Is everything okay," I asked them concernedly. Rosalie shrugged.

"Alice and Edward are just being persistent. It's upsetting the equilibrium our house usually has," Rosalie said boredly as we walked towards our classes.

"Is the fighting that bad," I asked worriedly, immediately feeling concerned for Carlisle being teamed up against two people as annoying as Edward and pushy as Alice.

"It's not really fighting," Jasper explained and I felt my concern ease as he smiled at me. "They sometimes argue and mostly Carlisle avoids talking about it at all."

"Why is Emmett so upset with Edward?"

"Emmett is worried that Edward is going to take it too far. He struggles with boundaries, especially where Carlisle is concerned." I frowned. "Honestly, Bella, don't even worry about it. And if Edward makes you feel uncomfortable or tries to drag you into it, just let us know and we'll get him to back off." I warmed a bit with the knowledge that I had friends in my corner instead of having to deal with their brother alone. "Have fun in class," they said to me before we parted ways and I went to class, replaying my conversation with Edward in my head and trying to decipher what their argument with Carlisle might be about.

I didn't even realize the bell for second period had rung until I noticed that everyone was leaving. I quickly followed them out the door and made my way to my government class. I sat heavily and reached into my bag for my book and notes. When I sat back up, I jumped as I noticed Edward sitting next to me with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Are you stalking me now," I demanded and he rolled his eyes.

"Stalkers tend to be a little stealthier. You know, hiding in trees and bushes?"

"So you're an incompitent stalker," I said understandingly and he laughed.

"This is my second period too."

"Then why don't I remember seeing you before you left. Or after you came back?"

"I was working on a project in the library on your first day. And when I came back, I missed the first part of school on account of getting home so late. I showed up for my last two periods only. Why are you scowling at me," he asked finally.

"I'm hoping you'll spontaneously combust." He barked out a laugh and I noticed a few heads turn to look at him in surprise. "Seriously, Edward. I don't want to be dragged into family drama. I don't want to deal with your insane mood swings. So if that's all you want from me, just leave me alone." His face changed, immediately sincere and earnest.

"I'm doing my very best not to make you the victim of my mood swings. And I'm not trying to drag you into the drama." I quirked an eyebrow at him and he held up his hands. "Honestly. I don't want you to be at odds with Carlisle, too. Maybe… maybe we should just start fresh. Hi. I'm Edward Cullen. Sometimes I am annoying and I have an attitude." He held out a hand and I looked at it before slipping my hand into it.

"Bella Swan. I have a dead mom, a lot of sass and it's hard for me to open myself up to people." He smiled -genuinely -and shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Bella Swan," he whispered as the teacher called the class to order. I smiled back.

"You too. You're sister is insane," I teased and he chuckled.

"You have no idea."

The class passed slowly but I noticed that Edward made an effort to smile at me whenever my eyes wandered over to him. The two periods after that were full of some stares and whispers, though Jessica remained silent and didn't look at me much. When lunch came around, I grabbed a tray of food and headed toward the Cullen's table. I dropped into the seat by Jasper who gave me a smile as Alice gave me an effusive greeting before jumping back into whatever she had been talking to Jasper about. Rose and Emmett joined us, Emmett and I exchanging joking insults. I heard the chair next to me move and Edward dropped into the seat with a tentative smile. I smiled back and turned back to argue with Emmett about game play on the newest video game in the series we both enjoyed. Jasper joined in and started bickering with him and I laughed as it escalated to exchanging insults. Rosalie leaned across the table.

"Are you sure your truck is reliable," she asked. I shrugged, chagrined.

"No. It's so old and I don't doubt that the guy my dad bought it from got it running but honestly, I wouldn't know how to recognize an issue aside from smoke and fire rising from the engine." She laughed and began to walk me through different ways to check my truck's health. I pulled out a notebook and wrote down her instructions before thanking her profusely. I loved my truck but I knew that the older a vehicle was, the more work it took to keep them running smoothly. She renewed her offer to look at it and I promised to check the things she'd told me about and bring it to her if anything was off.
"Hey, Bella, what about a murder mystery for dinner with us," Alice asked me as she flipped through a binder.

"Um, I guess. Is a theme really necessary? Isn't it just dinner?" The look of horror she gave me answered that question.

"But why just have a boring dinner when it could be fun," she asked, mortified. I laughed.

"You do whatever you want, Alice. I trust that you will make dinner perfect." She beamed and began to run mock menus by me. I approved and vetoed suggestions as she offered them, offering more realistic suggestions when she started to get carried away. Jasper gave me a grateful look whenever I redirected her from something extravagant or complicated.

"She's an unstoppable force," he said lowly, voice full of admiration and exasperation. I grinned.

"Always watch out for the short ones," I teased and he chuckled. The bell rang for fifth period and as I reached for my backpack, I noticed Edward watching me speculatively, eyes bright with… something. Approval, maybe? He made a face and stood up, waiting for me to hike my bag over my shoulder.

"Want to skip next period with me," he asked. I frowned at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Haven't you and I both missed more than enough school in the past couple weeks?"

"Yes but in this case, skipping is healthy." I gazed at him skeptically.

"Actually, Bella, you really should skip," Alice said, coming up beside me. "It's blood typing today," she whispered and my stomach flipped. "So maybe take Edward up on his offer and miss this one."

"Thanks, Alice," I said weakly and she winked at me. I turned back to Edward who was watching me with an expectant smirk. "Fine. I will attempt to tolerate your presence somewhere other than our classroom." He smiled and gestured for me to follow him.

"I can see why my family likes you," he said as we walked out of the cafeteria.

"Yeah, why is that?"

"You're pretty generous. You obviously couldn't care less about a themed dinner versus a normal one but you still listened to Alice's suggestions. I know you didn't understand half of what Rosalie said but you took notes anyway."

"Less than half, actually," I corrected and he smiled.

"It reminds me of Carlisle. He's the most generous man I know. It's how we are able to maintain the peaceful family dynamic we have. He willingly engages with us over our interests and he never makes us feel like they're silly or not worth his time or attention." I warmed at the comparison.

"He seems like a really great dad," I said as he led me outside towards where his silver Volvo was parked.

"He's the best."

"Can I ask you a question?" He waved for me to continue, opening the passenger side door for me and waiting for me to get in. "Why do you guys call him Carlisle? Is it because you're adopted or something else?" He smiled wryly at me and closed the door, hurrying around the car and getting in.

"Why do you call your dad, Charlie," he asked cheekily as he started the car to get the heat going.

"I didn't really see him much growing up. My mom left him not long after I was born. She… well, she didn't really like it here. I don't really know all the details. She left and took me with her. She got custody of me and he got visitation during summers and some holidays. But it was hard. I knew he was my dad but he felt kind of like a stranger. We're both kind of awkward and talking doesn't come easy for us. I knew that I was supposed to love him and I did. But I also didn't really know him and he didn't really know me. He wasn't a deadbeat or anything but… my mom never really talked about him and I've spent most of my life not really knowing who he is. As a teenager, I think I'm feeling that more than I did when I was a kid. I'm used to thinking of him as Charlie because that's how my mom always referred to him and I know he's my dad but… we didn't get to really build that relationship, you know? Even when I stayed with him, it's like neither of us knew how to be that to each other." He watched me as I spoke, his eyes softening.

"I can't imagine what that must be like," he finally said.

"Do you know your birth parents," I asked him. His face twisted in sadness.

"I did, a long time ago. They became ill and passed away. My mom was… great. Honestly, she was such a wonderful person. She taught me a lot about how to be a good man. My father… he wasn't like her. He had very clear ideas about what I should be and what makes a man and most of it was wrong."

"Oh, so a chauvinistic ass," I said sagely and he laughed tightly.

"Very much so. When Carlisle found me… he was everything that I believed a father should be. I remember the second Christmas after I joined him, I was missing my mom and it was still a little awkward between us. The first year was a lot of adjustment and learning to communicate and getting to know each other. We didn't even really celebrate that year. So the next year, Carlisle sent me out for some nonsensical reason. I thought maybe he was just sick of me. But when I came back, he'd bought a huge Christmas tree. It took up most of the apartment and was completely ridiculous. He'd put lights on but he waited for me to come home so we could decorate it together. And it really struck me how different he was from my biological father. He'd always made my mom do that stuff alone because it wasn't 'manly' to decorate, even for Christmas. And there Carlisle was, creating this opportunity to bond and creating this memory for me, to try and cheer me up." My heart was nearly bursting as he told his story. I could picture them, a younger Carlisle and Edward, muddling along as a newly formed family. Carlisle surprising his new son, making every effort to make this boy feel loved and wanted. The longing and affection I held secreted away deep in my heart for the man increased tenfold.

"Where was Esme," I asked him. His eyes tightened.

"She was still with her ex-husband," he said and I could hear the disdain in his voice. So, Esme, like Rosalie, had a crappy ex.

"You didn't answer my question," I pointed out, hoping to distract him from whatever made his face darken. He looked at me and seemed to sense exactly what I was trying to do. He gave me a small, grateful smile.

"Part of it is because we're adopted. To be clear, Carlisle is truly a father to us and none of us consider him anything less than that. But part of it is also that he's one of my best friends. We share everything, even when we don't really want to. He's always supported me and he's sacrificed so much for my happiness. He really is my father but it goes so much further than that."

"That's great that you have that kind of relationship," I murmured. He smiled slightly and then sighed.

"How about some music," he offered and pressed a button near the radio. Classical music drifted through the speakers and I smiled softly.

"Clair de lune," I asked quietly. His eyebrows rose.

"You know Debussy?"

"Some. My mom really liked the pianists. She used to play it during her chemo sessions. She said it calmed her down and helped her sleep." I looked down sadly, remembering sitting by her chair in the hospital, IVs and vitals machines hooked up to her as we listened to music and spoke quietly until she succumbed to the toll the illness was taking on her.

"I'm sorry she didn't make it," Edward offered and I felt traitorous tears welling in my eyes. Hadn't I cried out everything I had in me last night?

"Thanks. It's better for her. She's not in pain anymore," I said automatically.

"That's true. But you're still hurting, aren't you," he said gently. The tears began to flow down my cheeks as his words resonated around my mind, settling into my wounded heart.

"I feel so lost without her," I admitted. "There are so many things that I just want to ask her or talk to her about and I can't," I admitted. "We used to tell each other everything and now I don't have anyone who can help me sort through these problems. I would kill to be able to hug her again and have her tell me that everything is going to be okay."

"After my mom died, I remember just wanting to smell her perfume," Edward admitted quietly and I looked over at him. "Just something familiar, like having her ruffle my hair." We stared at each other, united in our camaraderie of grief.

"I guess I can not only join Carlisle's club but you and I get to be in the same club too," I joked brokenly.

"Suckiest club ever," he complained and I laughed sadly.

"Agreed." We sat in silence for several minutes, feeling our feelings privately but not alone. I finally calmed enough that the tears stopped.

"Can I ask you a question," he asked suddenly.

"I guess."

"What do you think of my dad," he asked and I froze. Several answers screamed from inside me, begging for freedom. But I remembered that this was Carlisle's son and that his siblings were my best friends and I didn't want to lose them.

"He's really nice. He did a great job fixing my foot and he's always been very kind and polite to me." He stared at me.

"That's it? He's nice?" My cheeks began to warm and I noticed that he leaned away from me. Did he suspect my secret and was waiting for me to say something so he could tell his family about it?

"He's your dad, Edward," I said, avoiding his eyes and playing with the zipper on my backpack.

"Yeah but most women comment on his looks or his bachelor status."

"Well, yeah, he's a handsome guy. You guys are all stupid beautiful," I muttered.

"Awh, Bella, you think I'm handsome?" I rolled my eyes at him and he smirked. "Seriously, though, that's it?" I started to feel panic creeping up from the knot in my stomach.

"What do you want me to say, Edward? Your dad is a nice guy."

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation about this, Bella," he said in frustration.

"And I'm trying to subtly avoid it," I shot back.

"Emmett says you guys flirt. He said it would be nauseating if it wasn't so perfect." Oh god, Emmett had said something. Had he commented on how much disliked it? Had they discussed and had a good laugh at my expense? Or worse, were they disgusted by it and looking to get rid of me?

"Emmett's obviously reading more into the situation than is there," I deflected.

"Seriously, Bella. No judgments, no teasing. I just want to know what you think of him."

"He's amazing, okay? He is gorgeous and is just this wonderfully selfless person who is so obviously scarred by the things that happened to him when he was younger and if anything, that has just made him a better human being. He's intelligent and witty and understands the love for a good book. There. Is that what you wanted me to say?" I breathed heavily from my word vomit and he sat, grinning at me. "What the hell are you grinning at," I asked irritably.

"You like my dad," he said gleefully.

"No," I argued, "I don't. I just think he's a really good guy, okay?"

"Please, Bella. You very clearly have the hots for him. Why aren't you dating him?"

"Because I'd destroy him," I said incredulously, immediately thinking about what my father and Edward's siblings would say.

"He'd be into that," he said thoughtfully.

"Dude, it's illegal. Besides, he's a genuinely good guy. I'm sure he sees me as nothing more than his kids' friend and the daughter of his friend."

"I don't want to shatter the denial you're in but I can guarantee you that you're wrong." I scoffed at him and held up a hand when he started to argue.

"It's still legally impossible not to mention socially reprehensible."

"Maybe. Just don't assume you know what you're talking about," he said, voice light but his eyes were serious.

"Okay, well now that you've made this awkward, I'm going to go," I said, pulling my backpack into my lap.

"Awh come on, Bella. We were just opening up to each other." I paused, turning back to face him. "Bella and Carlisle, sitting in a tree," he began to sing and I scowled at him.

"I am now convinced that you never graduated kindergarten," I deadpanned before opening the car door and climbing out while he rolled in his seat with laughter. I looked at my phone and saw that we had stayed in the car well into sixth period and decided to just head to my truck. I climbed in and started it but before I could pull out, I noticed Edward at my window. I rolled it down halfway.

"What," I asked flatly.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you. Look, I promise to keep this to myself. No more teasing. Just please don't shut me out and refuse to talk to me except to insult me. I mean, definitely keep insulting me because I think you are very clever. But please don't stop talking to me," he pleaded and I sighed.

"Why do you care so much," I asked.

"I don't really have any friends, outside of my family. People don't really… well, they don't really warm to us. You're the first person who actually wanted to be our friend and not just try and hook up or fish for gossip. I like you, Bella Swan, and I would be heartbroken if we couldn't be friends." I listened to his confession silently before rolling my eyes.

"Fine," I said, feigning apathy. He grinned before kissing me on the cheek.

"Does this mean I can come over after school and we can hang out?"

"Only if you bring Alice with you. Or a burger. Actually, burger then Alice. All this emotional stuff has me famished."

"Deal," he said through a laugh and started walking back to his car, waving briefly as I pulled out.

My mind whirled on the drive home as the realization of what had just happened hit me.

I'd told Edward Cullen that I liked his father.

And instead of being disgusted or disapproving, it seemed an awful lot like he was trying to encourage me into pursuing him.

And even crazier, I felt like I might have found a friend in Edward that rivaled Alice.