Okay so honestly, I have been struggling with my energy levels. I'm trying to just keep plugging along because I love writing this. But my hell, winter is the WOOOOORST. I feel like I'm ready for nap every time I wake up. But I have my new computer and it's amazing (even if it is naked and needs some stickers.) so hopefully that helps because I cannot for the life of me type on the phone.

The song for this chapter is The Sound of Silence by Disturbed.

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Disclaimer: I'm only doing this for a friend. I don't get anything from it but her undying appreciation. I certainly don't get to have fun with Emmett and the boys in my head.

Chapter Twenty: The Sound of Silence

BPOV

I flexed my hand experimentally for the hundredth time in the last twelve hours.

Eight weeks with the cast had been literal hell. My arm felt so light it was like it might float away.

"Finally got rid of the wrist prison," a voice asked cheerfully from above me before Edward dropped into the seat next to mine as I waited for Government to start. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Eight weeks was more than enough, thank you." He chuckled.

"It could have been worse. What would you have done if you'd been in a full body cast?"

"Plotted all the ways to hurt you once I was free of it," I said blandly and he laughed. "How'd you do it, by the way," I asked quietly.

"Do what," he asked, still smiling.

"Save my life." His smile dimmed.

"Adrenaline," he said.

The same one word answer that he'd been giving me for the last eight weeks.

"I'm guessing you're not an average human being."

"What gives you that idea," he asked, voice edged with defensiveness.

"Normal humans don't stop speeding vans with their bare hands," I whispered into his ear.

"Well, you're not wrong. I am much more attractive than the average human." I rolled my eyes at him and leaned back in my seat. "Seriously, Bella, you're reading too much into this. When was the last time you Googled the miraculous feats that adrenaline is responsible for?"

"When was the last time you did," I pushed. He grinned.

"Not too long ago." I huffed and turned back to my desk as our substitute explained our assignment.

I'd been pestering him about it since I got out of the hospital. Charlie had me stay home the rest of the week at Carlisle's suggestion that I might still have migraines and nausea. I felt like I'd missed more school in the few months I'd been in Forks than I had in my entire life. Carlisle stopped by to check on me at the end of the week. Before leaving, he'd left me his card with his cell phone number written on the back and a wink. He texted me a few hours later and that had been the beginning of getting to know each other better. He asked me questions about everything and when I asked him the same questions, his answers were almost poetic. He had a way with words and unlike my peers, he wrote in complete sentences with proper punctuation.

It shouldn't have made him more attractive to me but it did.

It really did.

We hadn't been able to spend more than one night or afternoon a week together, when I could go over to his house while Charlie was working. The first time I'd been nearly shaking with nerves.

Were we supposed to kiss in front of everyone? Hug? Handshake?

Would we just talk or would we make out again? More?

Were we going to be around his family or on our own?

Despite the fact that we had talked and that he had assured me that we could move at whatever pace I was comfortable with, I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to rush anything. But in my spare time, I always managed to find myself thinking of him, the unyielding pressure of his lips against mine, his hands tangled in my hair.

We'd sat on the couch next to each other after Alice suggested we watch a movie together. Close enough that our thighs touched and our arms brushed the other's. I'd sat with my hands in my lap, fidgeting, hyper-aware of how close we were, every movement he made. He'd fidgeted as well, rubbing his hands over his thighs repeatedly. His hands finally rested on the side of his thigh, not touching my leg but so, so close.

It had taken me an embarrassingly long period of the movie to realize that he was trying to work up the courage to take my hand in his without making me feel like he was pushing me. Once I'd realized, prickles erupted over my body and I felt hot, the all too familiar rushing of blood flooding over me. I'd slipped my hand into his, the cool feeling of his skin against mine soothing some of the heat. Our eyes had met, his filled with a need for reassurance, before he'd adjusted my hand more firmly in his and settled in against me.

We'd only shared small things like that since then. We'd hold hands, snuggle on the couch while hanging out with the others or sometimes the couch in his beautiful library. Once, I fell asleep against his chest while he held me and read aloud. We never lost ourselves in the passion that had consumed us the first night we'd kissed but I felt it simmering under the surface whenever he touched me.

"Hello? Earth to Bella." I snapped myself from the thoughts I'd lost myself in. Edward was standing over me while the class was moving past me or packing backpacks up. "Are you with me?"

"Physically, yes. Mentally is debatable." I gathered my things and packed them up while Edward watched.

"You seemed pretty zoned out there," he teased.

"Well, when you've seen the amazing things I have, school feels a little less exciting," I deadpanned.

"Awh, Bella, you flatter me so."

"I wasn't. I hate you."

"Why? I'm lovely." We walked out of the classroom only to find students rushing for the doors with more excitement than they usually exhibited. We followed them curiously and stopped when we noticed everyone was crowding in the parking lot, looking up at the roofs of the school buildings. I turned around to see what they were looking at.

My jaw dropped.

"How in the hell…" I turned to Edward who was shaking his head, a small smile on his face. "Did you do this," I demanded. He scoffed.

"Please, Bella. As if I would do this." I turned back and tried to rationalize what I was seeing.

My truck in all its red and rusty glory was sitting soundly on the roof of the main office building. Edward's car and four other cars that I didn't recognize sat on the other school buildings. I looked around wildly for a crane or other piece of heavy machinery that would possibly explain how this had happened.

"Oh no, Bella, what happened," an overly concerned voice said behind me and I closed my eyes and began to nod. I turned around. Emmett was standing with his hands in his pockets, staring at me earnestly while Edward began to laugh beside me.

"How'd you do it," I asked plainly.

"Do what," he asked, the picture of confusion. But I couldn't miss the sparkle in his eyes.

"I want to know how you got those cars on the roof."

"I can't reveal my secrets," he whispered and I shook my head, eyes narrowed.

"Did you do it the same way Edward stopped the van?" Instead of getting defensive like Edward normally did when I brought up my near accident, Emmett guffawed.

"Edward is a scrawny scrap of nothing. You don't need adrenaline when you have guns like these." He flexed his massive biceps with a smolder. "Also, consider us even for that whole arrest thing."

"It took you eight weeks to come up with this? Next time I'll go easier on you so you don't hurt yourself trying to think up a comeback." He grinned at me.

"You're one insult away from a war," he warned playfully.

"Then I will see you in Hell, Emmett Cullen," I taunted.

"Give the devil my regards," he said as he moved into my space menacingly.

"Oh, I will."

"And remind him that he still owes me fifty bucks for helping him out that one time."

"Well, this just confirms that you have to have supernatural help to do anything." Edward began to laugh louder as Principal Greene came out and started ushering kids toward their next classes. I made my way toward Trig still smiling to myself.

~~~~STY~~~~

"They better not find out that Emmett is responsible for that little stunt with the cars," I mentioned casually to Edward as we made our way from the lunch room to Biology. He shook his head.

"Knowing him, we'll be lucky he doesn't take out an ad in the paper claiming responsibility."

"For reals though: did he do it using whatever super powers you all must have?" His eyes tightened slightly.

"Really, Bella? Back on the superpowers thing? I've already told you that I didn't fall into a vat of nuclear waste and come out with superstrength."

"Are you sure you weren't bitten by a radioactive roll of toilet paper because you're a super-asswipe," I asked sweetly. He laughed and grabbed my shoulders pulling me into him for a hug. He was cold, even through the sweater he was wearing and I filed that away in the list of things that didn't add up with him.

And Carlisle.

I didn't like to think about the fact that Carlisle was obviously lying to me. He clearly knew whatever the secret was that had allowed Edward to save my life that day.

And I wasn't stupid.

I'd Googled Hirudo Anemia when my mind had been spiraling with endless questions and had no hints or answers from Edward or any of his family.

Nothing came back.

The disease didn't exist.

The only results that come back was that anemia was contraindicated in the use of hirudotherapy. After I'd searched for that, I was left feeling confused. Hirudotherapy literally meant using leeches, which was still apparently done in the medical community. I searched for different kinds of anemia thinking that maybe I had misheard or misremembered what he told me. But nothing came up. Nothing came up when I searched for their physical characteristics and blood disease.

All I had was what Carlisle had told me which was apparently leeches and blood deficiency.

I didn't know what to think.

I couldn't bring it up with Carlisle. I was barely handling the fact that Edward -and the rest of them -were keeping me in the dark intentionally. There was no way that I would be able to handle forcing Carlisle to either lie to my face or to push him away. I knew it was irrational but if Edward was willing to lie for two months straight about it, it was clearly important enough that Carlisle would too. Otherwise, why wouldn't he have told me?

But I couldn't just let it go. What I had seen… what Edward had done… it was all too fantastical to forget about and it consumed my thoughts almost as much as Carlisle did.

"You know, when you get all silent and broody like that, it worries me," he complained, breaking me from my thoughts. "I have no idea what you're thinking." He said it quietly, dark frustration tinging his words. I found myself reasserting that on my mental list. He always seemed frustrated when he talked about not knowing what I was thinking.

"Well, I can see how superior intellect and thought would worry you: it's such a foreign concept for you to grasp," I assured him halfheartedly. He stuck his tongue out at me as we took our seats.

"Really, what were you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking about your family."

"What about them?"

"Look, Edward, I'm tired of asking about how you did what you did," I said quietly. "I've tried to let it go, to not wonder about it. But I can't stop."

"Bella, if I could tell you some super secret reason for what happened, don't think I would? It was adrenaline. I saw the van coming for you and just moved. It was crazy."

"I think you think that you can't tell me. I don't know if that's just because you think that you can't trust me or you're so used to keeping it. But I wish you would. I feel like your family is just sitting on these big secrets and despite how attached I am to you and your fath-family, I have no idea what it is." He was silent, staring at the textbook he opened in front of him. I watched him, desperate for him to open up to me, to trust me. When he remained silent, I turned to my own book and tried to pay attention to Mr Banner's lecture. I could feel Edward's eyes on me and my own felt hot.

The Cullens were more than just friends.

They were family.

I was in love with the head of the family.

I was best friends with his children.

And yet, it was glaringly obvious that there were things I didn't know about them.

Big things.

Game changers.

Deal breakers.

When Mr Banner turned us loose to do our assignment, I busied myself with the worksheet he'd passed out and my book, ignoring Edward so he wouldn't see how upset I was, how close I was to just breaking.

"I can't tell you this secret," he said quietly. I paused, clenching my jaw to stop the storm swirling inside of me from spilling out in a torrent of words. "But I want to tell you a secret. My secret." I waited, still not daring to look at him. "Have you ever wondered why I haven't dated any of the girls here?"

"Honestly, I assumed it was because you'd spoken to the girls here," I countered. He smirked.

"Yes. But it's really because I already have… someone. Someone special to me."

"Why don't you just tell people that?" He grimaced.

"She's… older than I am." My eyes widened. "It wouldn't be considered kosher. It's easier to just seem standoffish than to try and explain something that would only make people rude and judgmental."

"So… how does it work, you and her? Do you guys ever see each other? Is it long distance? Is it the girl you told me about when we first met?"

"We see each other regularly but it does suck that we can't really be public about it."

I felt that one in the depths of my soul.

"It's not the same girl. To be honest, there was no girl. It would have been impossible to explain in a way that wouldn't have just led to endless questions." I frowned at him.

"So, all that stuff that you were going through when we met, the way you hated me," I asked and he flinched, "wasn't because of an ex-girlfriend who broke your heart?"

"No, and I am incredibly sorry for lying to you. It was mostly because it is exhausting to have to keep up the pretense and deal with the girls here. But I was also dealing with the fact that there are things I would love to be able to do with her. Public things. But we're forced to just keep it under wraps and lie." I felt queasy.

"Is that what's going to happen with Carlisle and I? We'll get so fed up with lying that it will start to affect our behavior?" He frowned.

"No, it's not-"

"Is that why you pushed so hard," I asked brokenly, barely holding in the tears that wanted to flow down my cheeks. "Because you wanted someone else to have to suffer through the same things you do?" He looked horrified.

"Never. Bella, I would never have pushed him towards you just because I wanted to share the misery. I knew how good you two would be for each other, for this family. I want him to be happy." He was earnest but now I wasn't sure about anything. I didn't think this had been his intention when he told me his secret but all I could focus on was the grim picture he was painting.

A relationship with an age gap that people disapproved of that demanded secrecy and lies.

All of that wearing on you until you just took it out on the next person to wrong you, even by accident.

Having to lie about your life, to the people you cared about most.

"Bella, I can see what you're thinking and I swear, it isn't like that!" I focused on breathing deeply to try and calm myself down.

"Miss Swan, is everything okay," I heard Mr Banner ask me distantly.

"She was complaining about her stomach at lunch," Edward lied smoothly. "I think she might have eaten something that didn't agree with her."

"You'd best take her to the nurse then, Mr Cullen." Edward stood and gathered our things before helping me out of my seat and supporting me with an arm around my waist out of the classroom and then the building. We emerged into the all too familiar rain but instead of the nurse's office, he led me to Emmett's Jeep, lifting me into the passenger seat before moving around the car to the driver's side.

"Okay, Bella, look at me," he demanded furiously. He grabbed my chin and forced my gaze to his. "I wouldn't trade anything in the world for this woman. I would suffer a thousand fates worse than this one just to be with her. Most days, I don't even think about any of the negatives because I know that she's my soulmate and I love her so fiercely that even if I had the choice to go back, I would still choose her. Always, in a thousand lifetimes, even if I could be with anyone in the history of existence, I would choose her. Every. Single. Time."

"But what if… what if it's not like that with Carlisle and me," I breathed out as a tear slipped down my cheek unbidden. His face softened.

"It is, Bella." I shook my head.

"You don't know that. We've only known each other for a few months. And he…" I stopped, afraid to voice the deep fears I kept locked away, deep inside of me.

"He what?"

"He could do so much better than me," I whispered before my breath caught in a sob.

"Oh, Bella," Edward said as I shook my head at him. He pulled me into his chest and held me as I cried, his hand stroking my hair while I let go of the fragile dam I had built over the last couple of months. I imagined that I was purging everything as tears flooded from my eyes.

All the secrets.

All the lies.

The knowledge that without Edward's inexplicable assistance, I would be in the ground.

This town.

These people.

Everything came out and I cried until my throat felt raw and achy. My face felt tacky and itchy and my eyes were undoubtedly swollen. Edward held me, not saying anything until I finally stopped, holding still against him.

"I know that it feels new; it feels hard. It seems so tenuous right now, like it could just crumble and fall apart and you'll be left heartbroken. It seems impossible when all you want is to be with him every day, sharing your experiences, soaking in life and the joy and happiness together, but you can't. But I promise, it stops feeling impossible. It stops feeling unfair. You worry that he'll leave or that it won't work. You and Carlisle are end game. You are meant to be with each other forever. It won't end. It will just keep going. It will keep getting easier. It will get even better. And one day, you'll look back at everything and you will realize that it was worth it. That you couldn't imagine doing it any other way; that you wouldn't change anything because your experiences are what made it so good." I sniffed, wiping an errant tear from my eyes.

"She must be special, this mystery woman of yours," I said lightly. He chuckled.

"She's the most amazing woman in the world."

"Thank you," I said after a moment.

"You're welcome."

"Can I ask you just one more thing?"

"Sure."

"This big secret you guys are keeping? Is it because you don't trust me?" He pulled away from me, staring at me with an almost frenzied madness in his eyes.

"Bella, I would tell you in a heartbeat. But I can't be the one to tell you. Carlisle should be the one to tell you. But he's afraid."

"Because it will change things?"

"Yes. And… knowing comes with risks: consequences. He doesn't want to put that on you. Not yet. He thinks that it can be avoided. But Alice and I know better and eventually, it will be a conversation he will have to have. And I'm just asking that when that time comes, take your time to really process it. Don't rush to conclusions."

"Is it… bad?"

"Bad is a matter of perspective."

"Is it keeping-a-psychotic-wife-locked-up-in-the-attic bad?" He laughed.

"No. But it might change how you look at him?"

"That's comforting," I said sarcastically. I sat up and rubbed my hands over my face with a sigh. "When this is all over, I want my sanity back."

"What sanity? You've been crazy since the day I met you." I laughed softly, stretching my back from the stiffness that had begun to set in. My door opened and I spun around.

"Do you two ever go to class? I swear, you skip- who did this," Emmett started, his face darkening as he took in my disheveled appearance and red, swollen eyes.

"Whoever it is, they're going to wish they were dead," Rosalie threatened and I heaved out a chuckle, jumping from the Jeep gracelessly before throwing my arms around Emmett and squeezing.

"Thank you for being you," I muttered to him before letting go and hugging Rosalie. "I'm so happy I have both of you in my corner." Rosalie hugged me back.

"Of course we are. Now point us to the punk who made you cry." I chuckled, pulling back and holding her arms.

"No one made me cry. I mean, Edward started it." They both turned on Edward who had exited the Jeep and come around the other side. "Oh my gosh, guys, he didn't hurt me or anything. I've just… I've been stressed but Edward and I talked and I feel a lot better now." They glared at Edward and I laughed, pushing past them. "Now, how are we all getting home since Edward and I are carless thanks to some jerk who put our wheels on the roof of the school?"

~~~~STY~~~~

"Hey, Bella, have you given any thought to who you're going to ask to the dance," Alice asked me. I looked up from the book I was reading as I rested against Carlisle's chest. His left arm was curled against my waist and stomach, the other holding a medical journal against the top of the couch. It took me a minute to process what she had asked.

"Um, no, I haven't," I said, my cheeks starting to warm.

"Why not? You only have a week left!"

"I'm not planning on going," I muttered. Carlisle's hand began to draw lazy circles against my stomach.

"Because you can't take Carlisle," she asked shrewdly and I rolled my eyes.

"And because I have the coordination of a drunk baby giraffe," I reminded her.

"That's just cruel. Who would get a baby giraffe drunk," Jasper asked from his chair. I made a face at him and he grinned.

"Oh come on, Bella, it's not that bad."

"Um, yes, it very much is. Honestly, unless the goal is to land me a hot date with Carlisle in the emergency room, you should just drop the whole dance thing."

"I, for one, am against dates in the emergency room," Carlisle said from behind me, the rumble of voice vibrating in my chest and making my heart quicken.

"I was thinking that maybe you could ask Edward," Jasper suggested nonchalantly as he perused a worn book. I felt Carlisle go oddly still behind me.

"Yeah, how about we don't and don't even say we did," I said with forced cheerfulness.

"Please, Bella," Edward said, moving away from the piano he'd been fiddling at to come sit on the arm of the couch by my feet. He was looking behind me with -what I could only describe as -a shit eating grin on his face. I frowned at him.

"You're not exactly single, buddy. You told me so today." His smile grew wider as his eyes remained fixed behind me.

"Yeah but she won't mind."

"That's awfully presumptuous of you. I certainly wouldn't want my boyfriend going to a dance with someone else."

"Please, Bella," Alice pleaded. "Edward never gets to come to any of the school things with us."

"Hey, guys. What are we talking about," Esme asked, coming from upstairs, a basket of laundry perched on her hip.

"Bella won't go to the dance with Edward because he's already in a relationship and apparently she can't dance," Jasper explained.

"Oh, I don't think that should be a problem," she answered brightly. "I'm sure that Edward's girlfriend wouldn't mind at all if he went with you." I stared at her, unable to stop my face from conveying that I was sure everyone in the room had lost their minds.

"Esme," Carlisle breathed out behind me in what sounded like resignation.

"Really, Esme? You don't think that she would be bugged by it?"

"Not at all. In fact, it would be nice if Edward got to participate in school functions. Not to mention, this way he doesn't have to hurt anyone's feelings by rejecting their offer." I looked from her to Alice, who was staring at me with puppy dog eyes. I looked over to Edward to find him shaking with silent laughter.

"I'm going to get hurt," I warned him. Alice squealed and jumped up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.

"I won't let you get hurt," Edward promised.

"If you do, you'll find yourself in need of the emergency room," Carlisle muttered darkly.

Oh.

Was he not okay that I was doing this?

I turned around to look at him.

"Is this okay," I asked him anxiously. He smiled, brushing my hair off of my neck.

"You are more than welcome to accompany Edward to the dance. Although, I must say that I feel like the company will be lacking." Edward scoffed behind me and I giggled. "While I wish I could take you myself, I certainly don't want to stand in the way of you experiencing all of the opportunities and offerings of your youth."

"I wish you could take me too," I mumbled, hooking his fingers with mine. He smiled, lifting my fingers to press to his lips softly.

"You'll have a great time. Even if your choice is in dates is hugely lacking." I laughed.

"I resent that remark," Edward complained.

"I think you mean represent," I countered. "Does anyone know where I can get a bulletproof dress? Should I Google it? Maybe search on Etsy?" Edward rolled his eyes.

"It's not going to be that bad. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's cute that you think you can cancel out the, quite frankly, handicap level of clumsiness I possess."

"I've got mad skills, Bella. If you're not careful, you might even enjoy yourself."

"I find that highly unlikely. You aren't Carlisle."

"That might be the most offensive insult you've ever paid me," Edward said, hand to his chest in mock pain.

"And yet, I don't care," I said happily. His eyes narrowed.

"I'm just happy you both are coming," Alice cheered. "And don't worry about a dress, Bella. If you don't want to go pick one out with me, I can just pick something for you." I sighed.

"No, I should go with you. We can make it a whole thing," I said with a shudder. She threw her arms around me with a squeal.

"We are going to have so much fun! I'll invite Rose and Esme can drive! We'll have the best girls' trip ever!"

"Can we just, you know, not take forever to do it? Shopping trips aren't really my scene."

"I promise that it will be efficient and fun," Alice assured me before grabbing Jasper's hand and dashing up the stairs, listing off all the things we needed to get.

"I've made a terrible mistake, haven't I," I asked the room in general and Esme laughed, walking away to the laundry room.

"Probably but at least you'll be dressed to kill," Edward pointed out blithely.