17
It's morning, I don't remember anything...
I'm lying on the sofa, admiring the sunlight streaming through the window. I couldn't sleep the entire night. Aontakarn got up to go shower since early morning as I pretended to be sleeping. I pretended that I was drunk and didn't remember anything.
Last night, I did something I'd never imagined I'd do. It may be due to the beer I drank.
We touched... yet we didn't cross the line.
I try to convince myself that it was all a dream and that everything happened because I was drunk. But, damned. I can still recall how I felt when the petite one rested on my arm. I remember the numbness that runs to my back, yet I didn't dare move an inch because I didn't want to wake Aontakam up. Let's just say that I couldn't sleep all night because I was too excited.
Argh... It was really excitement that I felt.
The vintage clock on the wall says that it's almost 8 a.m. I should pretend to wake up because if I continue to sleep, it would look fake as I don't normally get up that late. And as soon as I move, Aontakarn, who happens to walk down from upstairs, greets me, sounding normal.
"You wake up at exactly 8 a.m... Do you have a headache? I'll warm up some milk for you."
"Ah-huh..."
Everything seems normal. It's only me who's not normal and is blushing as my heart pounds like a teenager coming of age. I've been a teenager before, and I had crushes on senior male students at my school, so I'm familiar with that feeling. The strange part is that I'm feeling that way about a woman.
I'm feeling that way with Aontakarn.
The warm milk Aontakarn prepared for me was served not long after that. I cradle it in my hands as I take a sip and smile at the sweet-faced woman.
"You're up so early."
"Kam is an early riser."
"Ah-huh..."
"What do you remember about last night?"
Thump Thump...
When I'm asked that, I try very hard not to look too nervous. I need a few seconds to decide what I should say.
I remember...
I don't remember...
Which is the best answer?
"I went blank."
And me, without alcohol in my body, is back to being my full self, who doesn't like to face uncomfortable situations head-on. Aontakarn nods a bit and laughs.
"Yeah. You can't handle alcohol... How much do you remember?"
"I remember..." I try to come up with the perfect scenario, which is not so obvious that I'm lying. "I was trying to have a heart-to-heart talk with you. You stood up, and I grabbed your wrist... That's it."
"Ah... right. It's probably about that time because you seemed like a totally different person."
"I want to see myself when I'm drunk."
"I prefer the drunk version of you."
Thump Thump...
So Aontakam remembers what happened last night. But why does she seem so normal? I don't know how to act, but the sweet-faced woman is acting so normal, it's like there's nothing for us to be uncomfortable about last night.
Or is it not something we should be uncomfortable about?
lot."
"I was very drunk last night as well. I drank a
"But you can handle alcohol really well."
"Yes, I'm a tough nut when it comes to alcohol. But I'm so soft when it comes to matters of the heart."
"So we've reconciled?" I try not to smile and nudge my shoulder into hers. "We're not fighting anymore, right?"
"Right."
"I love beers."
"Yes... Beers are good."
So Aontakarn and I have resolved our issues. We don't talk about what happened. Last night was like a dream. But for me... it's so real. It's so real that I can't get it out of my head.
Our touch last night was new for me. Though I'm in my twenties, I've never really kissed anyone. Aontakarn was my first.
She smelled of baby talcum.
Her breath had a light alcohol scent emanating from it.
Those light brown eyes were staring at me.
She moaned softly every time I moved.
It was so good... It was such a good feeling.
"Chris, the elevator is here."
Aontakarn pokes me as I let my mind wander. I startle a bit and smile at the petite woman.
"I'm sorry."
"What were you thinking?"
We get in the elevator, and as I'm about to press the button to close the door, people rush into the elevator as if they're afraid that they will miss this one. In the end, we're packed like saldines. And the perfumes from everyone are all mixed.
Yet those perfumes couldn't compete with Aontakam's sexy breath last night.
"It's so crowded."
"It's morning rush hour. Everyone wants to get into the elevator to go up." The petite one explains it to me. Right now, we're standing so close that our shoulders touch. I feel like I'm shocked by electricity.
"Ops."
"What's the matter? Your mind seems to be all over the place this morning. I noticed it since you were at my place."
"I'm like that?"
"Ah-huh."
"I'm trying to recall what happened last night."
Though the elevator is packed, I'm still talking to Aontakarn in whispers.
"Why ?"
"I feel like I did something... with Karn." I talk vaguely to keep Aontakarn hanging because I want to see the female announcer's reaction. Yet, there's nothing. "But I can't remember anything."
"Why do you want to remember?"
"I don't know. You're right; why should I try to remember? I can just ask Kam. Karn remembers after all."
Ding!
And the elevator reaches AppTalk's floor. We squeeze ourselves through the crowd to get out and walk side by side. I glance at the person next to me, who has gone quiet, expectantly.
Will she say something...
If Aontakarn says that she remembers what we did, what am I to do?
"I won't tell you." I stop walking. The female announcer, who's two steps ahead of me, turns back to look at me. "I can't remember as well."
"No way..." I drag my voice and shrink my neck. "You don't get drunk easily. Also, if you don't remember anything, why are you no longer angry with me?"
"I don't know. When I wake up, I just no longer feel angry with you."
"It can go away that easily? You don't remember anything?"
"Did you think something happened last night?"
Aontakarn asking back like that makes me laugh to try to blow it off. Damned. What can I say when she asks that? How can Aontakarn, who can drink beer as if it were plain water, get so drunk that she can't remember anything?
"I'm just curious and want to know."
"Yeah. Karn wants to know what happened to. What can we do to get those memories back?"
Silence falls between us. We can hear the ticking of the watches on our wrists. Each second comes slowly. I can't believe that... I'm the one who cannot stand it and badly wants to remember what happened last night.
"Let's jog our memories by drinking again tonight?"
A sweet smile slowly spreads across Aontakarn's face. She then nods.
"Let's. Let's drink more beer at my place tonight."
Time flies. When it's time to meet up, Aontakarn and I drink beer as if it were plain water. And what happened last night happens again. I will not go into the details. I continue to pretend to be drunk. And the petite one lets me have my way again. I push her down on the sofa and get on top of her.
Why do I like this so much...
Aontakarn is more beautiful than I can imagine.
Aontakarn, who's under me, reaches out her hand to stroke my cheek. She then wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down toward her. I don't want to be hasty, so I start at her neck before I shift to her ear. I get a whiff of the soft scent from the petite one's body. It puts me in a dreamy state. I'm dazed. I breathe heavily—as heavily as the beating of my heart.
"Chris..."
"Karn."
We call each other's names. There is tension that can't be described between us. I grab the hair of the person beneath me with cute aggression, but it's not so aggressive that it can hurt her. I've learned that the sweet-faced woman is sensitive in the neck and ear areas. I can tell from the high pitch of her voice and the twisting of her body when I touch those areas.
I nibble her neck with my teeth and sweep them until I can clearly feel her pulse. The beating of Aontakarn's heart is so strong that I wonder if I can see it clearly if there are no clothes to block my view. So I do as I wish and unbutton her white shirt, starting from the top button.
The second button...
The third button...
I can see Aontakarn's plain-design white bra right in front of me. I stare at it, stunned. When I reach my hand out to touch it, the sweet-faced woman grabs my wrist and smiles slightly.
"Let's stop here."
"Huh?"
"I'm sleepy."
"Huh! ..."
"Please hug me. I'm cold."
The petite one flips me over to lie by her side. She hugs my arm and cuddles up to me in order to share the heat of my body. I'm still in a confused state of mind. I do as she asks easily because I still don't know what's going on.
"You're sleeping?"
"Ah-huh."
"Okay." I pull the petite on in and snuggle my face into her neck. Though I'm a bit frustrated, I also don't know what to do if we go further than this anyway. I followed my instincts, despite the fact that I have no idea what any of this is.
"Will Chris remember this tomorrow?"
"I don't know. What about Karn..."
"I probably won't. Chris shouldn't remember anything as well."
"Why?"
"So we can try to jog our memories again."
I smile slightly and hug the petite woman understandingly.
"Ah. Chris won't remember anything because Chris is drunk."
"Karn is also drunk."
And we end up in the same loop. We get up in the morning and go to work...
And we don't remember what happened at all.