20
If you say it... you will get it
We have landed in Japan. We get to stay in a large, sweet suite. A large room in Japan is like a normal-sized room in Thailand. But it's enough to give us ample space to walk around. It's just not spacious enough for us to roll around or play yoga and badminton in the room.
Who would do that in a hotel room?
But... didn't Puth say that they prepared two rooms for us? Why is it a sweet suite with twin beds? What if it wasn't me who came, but Tho, Jeth, or Puth? That would be damaging for Aontakam.
It's good that I came...
Since we got off the plane, Aontakam hasn't talked about how far she and Toy had gone or if it's as far as Toy had claimed. I'm frustrated by that, but I don't dare show it. My curiosity makes me go quiet. Of course... I don't dare ask because the mood between us is still bleak.
After we've made up, we talk, but we don't chitchat like we used to, as I had expected.
"It's cold here."
Aontakam looks out the window, as if she's in a music video. I, who am sitting on my bed, look at the sweet-faced woman in a dreamy state. We are staying in the Akihabara area because the meeting will take place around here. It's late October, entering November. It's not too cold for the locals, but for us who live in a tropical climate, it's goosebumps cold.
"Yeah."
That's all I say because I don't know what else to say. The petite one puts her hands in her jeans's pockets, turns to look at me, and asks me frankly.
"You're so quiet. What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"You say that I keep saying, "Nothing." But you do the same."
"Ah... it's really nothing."
Aontakam smiles from the corner of her mouth and lets it go. She grabs her wallet, as if she's heading out. I can't help but ask her when I see that.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to take a walk and look for something to eat."
"She's not inviting me?" I mutter. The sweet-faced woman glances at me and reaches her hand out to pinch my nose. "Ouch... what's this?"
"You're more sulky than Karn. If you can be more direct, you will be much cuter."
"I'm indirect?"
"Wow... You don't realize that? So, are you joining me or not?"
"…"
"If you say directly that you want to go with me, I will invite you."
"…"
"Up to you then."
"I'm going with you." I tighten my lips after I say that. The sweet-faced woman smiles at me and pulls me by the arm.
"That's all there is to it. Just say what you want. Don't overthink, especially when you're with Karn. If you want something, just say it. Okay?"
"You mean that?"
"Try being sincere. We're close, remember?"
And we smile at each other before we head out shopping. We totally forgot that we had been annoyingly sulking for a week.
It's 9 p.m. Puth video calls to ask whether our trip is going well. He also shows us very spicy tom yam with shrimp, as if he wants to tease me, who doesn't eat raw meat.
"Why do you make that face?" Aontakarn, who went to grab some creams that are on her shopping list (on her mobile phone), looks at me in adoration. I point to the tom yam and get the feedback I expected.
"Puth is very mean. It's your first day in Japan, and you already miss Thai food?"
"Yeah... And you just got here, and your shopping basket is already full?"
"I'm enjoying it so much that I didn't notice that. Has Chris gotten anything yet?"
"I don't know what to buy yet. There are so many interesting things."
Aontakarn and I stroll the place until we get to a certain section. We read the sign, Adult Only, and pretend we didn't see it."
"As Karn says, if Chris wants something, just say it"
"What do I want?"
The sweet-faced woman points her head to the 'Adult Only' section and glances at me.
"There."
"No. Chris doesn't want to go check out dildos or pussycats in a can..."
"You don't want to check those out at all."
I laugh to lower the tension when I see her mocking smile. Damned. I'm curious, but not THAT curious.
"Karn is the one who wants to check those out."
"Yes. I want to do that."
"…"
"Karn is a lot more direct than Chris. You're such a loser." Aontakarn puts me down. It makes me so frustrated that I march to that section.
"Fine. Let's have a look. How hard could that be?"
The laugh with a nasal tone from the sweet-faced woman makes me walk to the dildo shelf frustratingly. There are smooth ones and ones with spikes or bumps. They come in different lengths and colors. They make it look so real. It's so real that it's disrespectful to those who're virgins browsing the shelf.
"Which one does Chris like?"
"What?"
"You're staring at them with intent."
"I don't like them. I'm just looking at them for educational purposes... Are there those who dare pick it up and walk to the cashier?"
"It's normal here, like when you go to an onsen. To be all shy when you walk in naked is rude. So you have to look at these dildos as if they are furniture."
"Where should I display these pieces of furniture?"
"If it were Kam, I would put it in the bathroom or near my bed. It's more convenient that way."
I glance at the person who's going on and on, feeling a bit embarrassed. Sometimes this woman is so direct that it's scary.
"Which do you think resembles Toy's the most?"
That question makes me straighten myself up. I swallow hard and shake my head.
"How would I know? Toy and I never went that far."
"Why did you break up?" Aontakarn squints at me and asks as if it's a general topic. "I heard that you were together for a very short period of time."
"I'm old-fashioned."
"How so?"
"After only two weeks together, Toy wants to have sex." I slip my hands in my pockets as I think back to that event. "When I rejected him, he said he would allow me to use my mouth instead."
"Wow. Did you?"
"Are you crazy! I'm not easy, you know? Even if we were together for more than two weeks, I would not do it. No way. That's crazy. I will not do anything with or for him."
"So that's why you broke up with him... You're very reserved." Aontakam nods. "Let's go see the other sections."
The sweet-faced woman cuts the conversation short and walks out of this section. I can only drop my jaw because I was going to ask what I have been wondering as we were on that topic. I have to put that thought away because the sweet-faced woman didn't give me any chance to do that. It's as if she's avoiding it.
Damned... The more she says nothing, the more she confirms that they did it. Gosh. I have to stop being so narrow-minded. It's her mouth. It's her body.
Whether they did it or not is none of my business. We're all adults.
Okay... I will have to end this lingering doubt. Aontakam made me want to know and changed the topic as if she wanted me to ask her directly. If she says that whatever I want, I just need to say it, I will say it now.
So as soon as we walk out of the shop, I, who am walking behind the sweet-faced woman, speed up to walk by her side and ask.
"Have you and Toy done it?"
"Huh?"
"Karn said that if Chris wants something, Chris just needs to say it. And right now, I want an answer to that question." I grab Aontakarn's arm to stop her from walking and look into her beautiful eyes. "Chris wants to know. It's okay if you did. Just, please, tell me."
"Is it that important to you?"
"No..."
"Then you don't need to know."
"But I have to know."
My serious and determined voice makes the sweet-faced woman, who was about to continue walking, pause and look at me as she raises her eyebrow.
"This is a very personal matter, Chris. Kant will only tell someone Kant deems very important."
"Am I not important?" I bite my lip tightly, feeling discouraged and invaluable. I've always thought that I was somewhat important. Even Aontakam herself told me that I'm important.
"You're important, but not that important."
"And... never mind." I walk ahead of Aontakarn with my hands in my jacket. Yet...
"Do you want to be more important?"
My feet come to a complete halt when I hear that. The person behind me speaks flatly as she walks towards me.
"More important?"
"Be with me."
"Be with you?"
"Be my lover, and I will tell you." Aontakam says that as if it's a general topic. It's like she's asking... "Have you had your dinner?" or "What time will you go to bed?" "But, yeah... I forgot. Chris likes men."
This time, the sweet-faced woman walks ahead of me. I look at her petite frame as I hesitate. My heart is not pounding as hard as I thought it would. Ifs calm, like a calm sea.
"If it's Karn, Chris is okay."
"…"
When the petite one hears that, she stops walking and slowly turns back to look at me.
"Chris?"
"Let's be lovers."
Thump Thump...
I didn't think I was that excited at first. But once I say that, it's as if my consciousness returns to me. When I make that direct request, the sweet-faced woman is stunned. She looks down on the ground and puts her hands in her coat.
"Like Karn told you at the hotel... if Christ wants something and says it directly, Chris will get it."
"If Chris wants to be my lover, Chris will get to be my lover."