"Hey!" He shouted, squeezing her arms again.
Terror shot through him like a shard of glass. Why was something going wrong now? After all this time. He had so many thoughts going through his head.
Everything had been fine.
Suddenly Tonks opened her eyes, groaning and shifting on the floor.
She looked very confused. Her eyes met with his briefly. At first they were slightly out of focus, she looked so confused.
"W-what happened?" She asked.
"I don't know, you called me, and I found you falling down on the floor." Remus said, clearly petrified.
"Come here, let me help you up." Remus helped her into a chair she had in the bathroom.
She just nodded. Looking out of it.
"Dora? Did you fall?" She heard him ask as she started to come back to reality. He sounded terrified.
"Nnn. I just felt sick." She mumbled.
"I sat down." She explained, holding onto his shoulder.
He was crouched next to her. he put his hand out and for a second she thought he was going to touch her stomach, but he touched her side, gently touching her.
"Stay here, I'm going to send a message to Ashlee."
He came back in about ten seconds.
"Here, let me help you into our room." He said, helping her to stand up from the low chair.
He helped her over to the bed.
She sat down, resting her back against the headboard.
She felt groggy but alright.
"Y-you said it was safe?" He questioned her, looking pale and terribly frightened, feeling terror rising in his throat.
"This isn't because we had sex?" She questioned back.
"I just got dizzy, Remus. Don't make this out to be more than it is. We don't know anything yet." She tried to calm him down.
"I just don't know what to think now." He gasped, covering his mouth, he felt his eyes burn in pain suddenly.
Remus gripped his hair in a crazy manner, like he was going to rip it out, turning around like he was going mad.
"Remus. R-Remus." she said in a small gently whisper.
Her voice brought him back to the present.
Her face scrunched up like she was going to cry.
"Y-you're crying?" She asked him.
Remus gapped at her slightly, reaching up to wipe his face. There were tear drops there.
"I've never seen you cry." She gasped, she went to go comfort him.
But he put his hand up.
"I don't want you to fall. I'm okay, I'm just-." Remus tried to wipe the tears off his face, holding back sobs, while he tried to tuck her back in.
"Please sit with me?" She begged him.
He nodded, coming to sit with her.
He sniffed, wiping his face again before hugging her. Not knowing where this wild emotion came from.
She held him back, not letting go.
He shook as he held her.
"Shh. It's okay." Tonks tried to calm him.
Remus turned quickly as his owl returned flying through an open window, dropping a letter on the floor.
It was from Ashley. It only said three words "I'm coming over."
"She's coming, but I have to leave." Remus said, sitting back down next to Tonks.
"Here. Lay back." Remus fussed over Tonks trying to get her to lay back onto the cushy headboard and pillows.
"Okay, okay." She appeased him, sitting back.
"I feel okay. I don't have pain." Tonks tried to calm him.
His lips were set in a hard line, and his eyes looked red from crying.
Remus sat on the edge of the bed and tucked her in.
Suddenly, the floo ignited in the other room. Ashlee burst into the bedroom a second later.
Remus stood up quickly, but had to steady himself on the bed frame at the last second.
"It's okay, I'll check her out." Ashlee promised.
"I-I have to go." Remus stuttered.
Tonks squeezed his hand quickly, and It was still shaking when she let it go.
"It'll be okay, I'll send you a message." Tonks promised and Remus nodded at this before leaving.
Ashlee watched him go, before returning her attention to Tonks.
"Let me check you out. What happened exactly?" Ashlee questioned.
"I got dizzy after my shower and passed out." She admitted.
"Did you fall?" Ashlee quickly asked.
Tonks shook her head.
"I felt sick and sat down." Tonks explained.
"Okay, here let me listen to the baby." She took her little muggle doppler out and almost instantly should could hear the babies quick heartbeat.
"There he is. He sounds fine to me. How are you feeling now?"
Tonks sighed in relief.
"I'm feeling much better" Tonks admitted. "I should send word to Remus.
"Okay that's good." Ashlee nodded.,
Tonks waved her wand and a silvery orb flew out of it.
"I have a cool surprise by the way." Ashlee mused.
Meanwhile, Remus was in the basement of Mad Eye Moodys
He paced and panicked while he waited for news.
He tortured himself with visions of his son.
Horrible scenes infiltrated into his mind.
His son had a properly formed little body now, perhaps he'd have to see his son's dead body.
Remus gasped, kneeling down.
He knew at that moment if anything happened to that boy, it would destroy him.
He wasn't just afraid to get attached or to lose his wife. He was truly and equally afraid to losie his son.
The revelation hit him hard, and the emotions from that and the impending transformation, were too much to cope with. He cried, hard. Harder than he had earlier. Harder than he had in years.
He put his head in his hands and sobbed loudly and audibly. Grateful no one was there to hear him. It was cathartic in some ways. He screamed in pain and cursed the universe.
He feared he had run out of time to be a good father, he'd spent so much of the last four months taking what he had for granted. He didn't appreciate it enough and now it was all going to be taken away.
In that moment he made a deal with the universe. If he was given another chance he'd never take his son for granted again. He just wanted one real shot at loving him.
He looked at his watch. He'd turn into a werewolf in less than a minute.
He tried to steady himself. Waiting to see if he'd get a message from his wife.
He disrobed, and put his clothes and watch high up on a ledge, away from the wolf.
He checked his watch one more time before stowing it with his other items.
He had 12 seconds. He could feel the change coming.
He blanched. "Fuck." He said loudly.
He'd forgotten his potion on the counter.
He'd not have control. He tried to regain composure, knowing the tansformation would be worse if he didn't focus on calming down.
5 seconds left.
His body started to tremble and he knelt down.
One of the last things he saw was a sliver orb shooting down the stairs.
"Remus-" he heard it began but then familiar pain shot through him, he tried so hard to focus on his wife's message but couldn't.
His body began immediately conforming to fit the wolfs.
"Potion." He heard her say as his vision started to change, and he knew that would be the last thing he heard.
The next thing Remus knew. he could feeling cold air hitting his nostrils.
Another thing in the air, set Remus on edge immediately. There was blood in the air, he could still smell it, as his senses returned to normal.
Before he even opened his eyes, he knew something was terribly wrong.
Remus gasped and opened his eyes.
He was stuck. He was wedged in between the cement cellar wall and the old worn down wooden stairs. Somehow he had separated the stairs from the wall.
He gasped, looking around in terror.
He tried to move but couldn't, a piece of wood was sticking out of the stairs into his thigh.
He was lucky the ledge with his things was above the stairs.
He was just able to grab his sweater and pulled it on, it was freezing cold in the basement, and being naked didn't help.
He grabbed for his wand, but it clattered to the floor, just out of reach when it rolled off the ledge
He tried to reach his wand but couldn't. He thought with all his might but the wand only twitched slightly.
He tried for at least five minutes to get the wand to go into his hand but he was making little progress.
The tip of his middle finger could just graze the wand, he could get it he knew he could.
He closed his eyes and tried to refocus, the pain was incredible.
Slowly, the wand moved to fit into his hand.
He gasped loudly and tears leaked out of his eyes.
He tried to steady himself but his emotions were still raw and were winning.
He knew he have to use a severing or banishing charm to detach himself from the stairs.
He tried in vain to ground himself.
"Diffindo." He croaked.
He cried out as the wood in the stairs split, causing the wood in his leg to move further into his leg. He heard a snap and knew he'd broken his leg.
But he was still stuck. He knew he'd have to completely move the staircase to get free.
He gasped and screamed loudly knowing no one could hear him.
"Get your shit together, Moony." Said a mocking, yet familiar voice in the corner of the room.
Remus turned quickly, terrified. Further hurting his leg.
It was James Potter.
"Oh, don't be so harsh. He's an ass. But, an injured one at that" Sirius chuckled from the other corner of the room.
James rolled his eyes.
"No no. This isn't happening. No, no, no." Remus screamed, like it was a mantra.
"Calm, down. You're not going crazy." James told him.
"Well, we are figments of his imagination, maybe he is?" Sirius posed.
James waved him off.
"We're here because clearly we were the people you needed to see this morning. You've gotten yourself into quite a bind, Moony. In more ways than one." James told him in an admonishing tone.
"Help me, then you shits!" Remus yelled into the void of the empty basement.
"Ha, damn you are in some serious pain? Aren't you?" Sirius asked, his mouth settling into a Grim line.
"Yeah." Remus grunted and gasped through gritted teeth.
"Well, you know what you need to do." James told him sympathetically.
Remus closed his eyes, and when he opened them again he was alone in the basement again.
"Fuck." He said. He was going to die if he didn't get help.
He gripped the ledge above him to steady himself, and wrapped his belt around his leg tight and hard, he groaned and sputtered in agony, salivating everywhere.
He felt like a rabid dog who was about to be put down.
He gripped the ledge hard.
"Get on with it." Growled Sirius.
'Fuck.' They were back.
"Shut up!" Remus screamed before bellowing the spell he knew would work.
"Depulso." He cried.
When he did this the stairs flew three feet across the basement, with a huge crack the stairs separated from him and the wall.
He must have blacked out from the pain. The wood staunching his blood had been ripped from his leg and it was agony beyond comprehension. Just as bad as turning into a werewolf.
Remus woke up on the cold hard floor covered in his own blood.
His pants were nearby and he grabbed them, ripping the right leg off them at the upper thigh.
He wrapped the portion of pants around his wound, below the belt saving his life.
He screamed as he tied it tightly.
He grabbed his wand before a familiar voice stopped
Him in his tracks.
"You think you're going to be able to disapperate out of here? Ha?" James said.
" idiot, do you know who's house this used to be?" Sirius mocked him.
Remus felt the remaining blood drain from his face.
"Give it a try if you don't believe us." Sirius goaded him.
Remus threw his head back knowing they were right.
He knew he'd have to try to climb up what was left of the stairs.
he pulled himself up the side of the stairs, unable to use his right leg well at all.
He dragged himself through the doorway to the cellar.
Sirius and James were waiting in the big room upstairs.
"Oh look, he made it. Didn't think he had it in him." James said sharply.
Remus groaned.
"I really hate the two of you." Remus groaned.
"Ha, you certainly cried a lot after I died for someone who hates me." James said in an evil way.
"And drank a lot for me." Sirius added.
Remus glared up at them.
These were not his friends. These were two evil monstrosities that his subconscious had created to torment him in his final moments. He was certain of that.
"So, Whatcha gonna do? Gonna lay here and die, spineless and miserable. Or, are you going home to your wife and son?" James taunted him.
"I want to go home." Remus cried.
"Oh, now he's going to boohoo like a baby." Sirius goaded him.
Remus gritted his teeth.
James shook his head.
"My son." He said. Feeling emotion well up inside him.
He sobbed loudly, knowing no one could hear him.
"If something happens to him, and you're not there. That's on you." James told him, bending down.
"Prongs?" He asked, hoping for his real friend to say something.
"Yeah?" James asked.
"Is-is this real?" He asked him.
James shrugged. "How the hell should I know? This is your subconscious is it not?" James replied in a snarky manner.
"Go home, Moony." Sirius said, sadly.
Remus pulled himself over to the fireplace pulling himself in.
Tonks was standing in the kitchen, waiting for Remus to get home.
It was 6:20. Typically, Remus already would have been back home. Usually, he was back home by 545 at the latest.
She kept opening the door, looking out to see if she could see him.
She wondered if perhaps she should go to Mad Eyes house to check on him. especially after what had happened
. But, she had promised months ago that she'd never do that.
She checked her watch again. If he wasn't back in 2 minutes, she was going to go check on him.
She decided to call Lyall. Luckily, he had a muggle house phone too.
He answered almost immediately.
"Hello?" He questioned.
"Lyall, hey. Remus isn't there with you right?" She asked.
"What? No, he's not. Wasn't he transforming at Alastor's house?" He asked.
"Yeah, he was. He's just not home yet. I'm kinda worried."
"Oh. It's almost 6:30." Lyall lamented.
"I know."
"Tonks, I'm going to come over." Lyall said.
"Okay. See you soon."
In a minute. Lyall was on her doorstep.
"Hey, come in." She let him in.
"I'm really worried. I think maybe we should go check on him. He just doesn't like it when I do it. He worries." She explained.
Lyall nodded, following her into the hall further.
"I can go." Lyall said gravely.
Tonks was feeling so guilty. Perhaps she should tell him about what happened yesterday.
Suddenly, she heard the floo roar to life in the fireplace. Turning, she saw Remus fall out of the fireplace, landing on the hearth.
"Remus!" She yelled running over to him.
Lyall ran after her.
She threw herself onto the floor in front of the fireplace and together they helped move him to the sofa.
Remus gasped, trying to sit up.
"Remus? What happened to you?" His father asked him, terrified.
"The stairs." He tried to say through gritted teeth.
"Are you okay?" Remus mumbled, almost inaudibly.
"It's okay. It's okay, I'm fine." Tonks cried. Trying to stop his bleeding.
"Hold on, I-I have something." She ran into the kitchen to get the ditany as well as the other healing potions , she had.
Remus passed out again as she ran to the kitchen.
"I thought he was taking wolfsbane potion? Lyall asked quickly.
"He was, he was" she explained, crying.
" but he forgot last night and by the time I remembered it was too late. " she admitted.
"H-he forgot?" He questioned. Tying bandages to his son's leg. He shook his head. That wasn't like his son.
"H-he's had a lot on his mind." Tonks voice broke and she started to sob as she tried to help Lyall.
Lyall looked concerned, but kept working.
For the next hour, Tonks and Lyall worked to help save Remus.
Tonks tried not to cry but didn't really have much success.
An occasional sob would escape her even as they finished patching up his leg.
"I think his leg might be broken." Lyall told her, concerned.
He worried that there were things he wasn't being told.
She nodded.
"I'm gonna go get cleaned up a little, I'll give you some time with him.
Tonks gazed at Remus, and she brushed his hair off his deathly pale face.
She put her head into the crook of his neck and sobbed. He was so cold to the touch. She'd never seen him like this.
She held his hand, kissing it.
"We're both okay, we just need you to be okay now too." She whispered quietly.
She was terrified he wouldn't wake up.
Remus was freezing and could feel Tonks cuddling up close to him. He could smell her shampoo and feel her warmth.
But he could still smell his blood, there was an iron tinge in the air.
He tried to move but his body felt so heavy, and his leg burned in pain where he'd broken it.
He desperately wanted to make sure Tonks and the baby were okay.
He needed the baby to be okay too. Not just Tonks. He recognized that now.
He couldn't take it if something happened now. his baby had fingers and toes, and a whole little body now. He was his son. He needed him now.
Remus open his eyes. Emotion welled deep inside him.
"Remus?" She whispered.
He locked eyes with her tear stained ones.
She seemed okay.
She sat back a little to look at him better, and he looked down at her tiny belly, covered by an oversized sweatshirt.
Remus suddenly felt a huge wave of love and devotion for the growing baby boy in his wife's belly.
Remus put his hand out, and touched her belly delicately.
He caressed her belly softly, stroking his fingers across her.
Tonks put her hand on top of his, squeezing his hand.
Lyall saw him do this and froze silently in the doorway.
He watched the interaction silently.
Tonks brushed his hair with her hands.
He hadn't really touched her belly at all before that moment. She wished it had happened during a nicer moment. But she enjoyed the few seconds it happened regardless.
She put her hand on his face.
He kept his hand on her womb. She felt so warm.
"We're both okay, remember. I told you that." She whispered to him. Remus fell back to sleep in a few seconds after hearing this.
He looked relieved after that.
She shifted so she was sitting on the coffee table across from the couch. When she did this, she realized that Lyall was behind her.
Tonks knew he'd heard her.
"That's what he's so worried about?" Lyall asked, utterly shocked, leaning against the door frame.
Tonks looked at him and then to Remus.
" we were going to tell you soon." She said.
Lyall just kept staring at her.
"Remus wanted to be able to tell you with me. he's been nervous about mine and the baby's safety, for a lot of reasons, and yesterday I had a dizzy spell and fell and he worried I would lose the baby, that's why he forgot the potion."
Lyall face suddenly contorted, and he cried.
"You and the baby, your okay though?" Lyall asked.,
"Yes. We are." She explained. "As far as anyone can tell, the baby is perfectly healthy."
Lyall walked across the room and hugged her.
"This is wonderful. How long have you known?" Lyall asked.
"I'm just about 17 weeks now. So we've known for a little while."
"I-I you could have told me whenever. This is amazing." he said. Sitting in his chair shocked.
"We wanted to tell you. But, we wanted to get some questions answered about the baby first. Remus was worried the baby would have lycanthropy."
His father looked worried when she said this.
"But. It would appear that's not the case. We are meeting with a lycanthropy expert soon."
"That's certainly daunting. I'm sorry the two of you have had to shoulder that on your own. But, it sounds like the outcome will be good?" Lyall questioned, tearfully. Hopeful to hear good news.
"Yes, it would seem that way. He's perfectly healthy as far as anyone can tell." Tonks said
"It's-iys a boy?" Lyall asked, wiping tears away from his face.
Tonks nodded smiling.
Lyall wiped more tears from his face before getting up to embrace Tonks again.
We have some orb photographs, would you like to see? Tonks asked.
Lyall nodded tearfully.
"Hold on" Tonks said, walking into the bedroom
She emerged holding the latest picture of the baby from the night before.
"Here he is." She showed it to him, letting him take it from her.
"Oh, his little hands you can see them." Lyall smiled happily, in complete wonderment.
" I know. He's a cutie, and I'm pretty sure he already knows it too." Tonks gushed.
She couldn't help herself. She'd gotten to see him the night before when Ashlee had come over to check on her. She had finally gotten one of the fancy magical machines they had at the healer clinics.
He'd looked perfect. She couldn't wait to see him again the following week again.
Later that afternoon, after Lyall had gone back home, Remus fully woke up.
"Hey." She said, hurrying over to sit near him.
"How are you feeling?" She asked him.
He smacked his lips together a little. His mouth was so dry.
"Here, drink something." She handed him a cup, helping him drink it.
"Thank you." He said. "You're okay right? A-and the baby too?" He questioned.
Perhaps he was afraid her earlier assurances had simply been her attempt to placate him while he was sick.
"Yes we are both fine. I promise. I got to see him yesterday and everything. I thought I'd have to wait till next week."
"Do you have a photo? A-Ah, C-can I see?" He asked, his voice extremely horse.
Tonks heart swelled at this request.
"Of course. I'll go get it." She said, standing up to get the photo.
"It's not as cool as seeing him live, moving around, but look at him." Tonks said happily handing him the photo.
His son had his small little hands pressed up near the sides of his head and you could see his tiny little features pretty well. He looked perfect.
Remus looked at the photo for a long time.
At one point Tonks thought she saw tears in his eyes, but he blinked quickly a few times and any sign had gone.
Prior to the day prior Tonks had never seen Remus cry. He was often very stoic.
"Can I keep this? He asked, eventually.
"James used to carry these around with him in his pocket, said they brought him good luck."
Tonks heart was swelling to capacity, now.
Superstitious and sentimental Remus, this wasn't something she was sure she'd ever seen before.
"He looks a lot like you live on the scanner."she told him, hopefully, tearing up.
He looked a little uncertain at this. "Oh, can you even tell that, yet? He's kinda blurry still.?" He asked.
"Kinda. I think so at least, he looks a little clearer in person." She explained.
He put his hand out, touching her belly.
"Your dad knows, by the way." She told him.
"You told him?" He croaked, slightly.
"He figured it out on his own." She explained, putting her hand on his.
Remus leaned over and kissed her on the head, wincing as he did.
"Hey, be careful!" She scolded him.
He caressed her belly again.
"I'm glad he's okay." He admitted.
This time she leaned over to kiss him.
Tonks sat right by him for a while, letting him softly touch her belly.
Perhaps this had been the straw that broke the werewolf's back, or in this case, his leg.