Diagon Alley was as dark and dismal as ever. Remus had ventured away from the flat this morning to find some needed supplies for Kingsley and Ashley.
The full moon had been just a few days before, but with the Wolfsbane potion now at his disposal Remus was feeling quite good even two days after the full moon he already had his full strength back. He would be eternally grateful to Ashlee for helping him, the potion wasn't cheap and she was giving to him for free.
Nearly all of the shops in Dagon Alley were either boarded up or looked closed. Only a few small shops remained now.
Remus eventually stumbled across a small medical apothecary and horticultural shop. It was a new shop he had never seen it before. It was partially boarded up, but there was a little sigh the read "open."
He went to push open the door and it opened easily. He walked inside, and there was a small jingle from above. The owner had put bells on the door as a type of security system to alert them of patrons coming or going from the shop.
As Remus looked around, he realized that the tiny shop looked a little like Ashley's basement. It had potions galore on every shelf, and where there wasn't potions, there were plants that hung wildly from the ceilings, the shop also had huge wooden crates in the corners, filled to the brim with unidentifiable herbs and flowers.
There was a tiny little sign that had been handwritten on the counter that read "Help Wanted."
A small old little woman hobbled out of a back room suddenly.
She greeted him with a raspy voice.
"Hello, I see you have a list there." The old woman pointed to his hand.
This woman was clearly very sharp.
"Let's see, I might be able to help." She reached for the list and Remus kindly handed it to her.
"Hhhhmmm." She murmured.
"Ah yes. I believe I have all of these things. I'll be right back." She explained, before hobbling off into the many shelves of potions and plants.
Shortly after she came back to the front counter, carrying all of the things that have been on the list.
"Alright, here we go." And she listed off everything.
It was all accurate.
Well, she was adding up the total cost. We missed notice that it appeared that she was alone at the store. It seemed unsafe. It wasn't like she could easily defend herself if death eaters were to come knocking.
" Are you always alone here? You know it's not safe out there right now." Remus asked, hoping he wasn't invading her privacy.
"Well, my son used to work here with me, but he died recently and I've been trying to manage the shop on my own since then.
We used to have a location over near St Mungos, but we had to move here recently, there's less foot traffic here. Much safer here." The old woman suggested.
Remus wasn't sure why perhaps it was that he was about to have a son of his own, but his heart broke for the old woman.
"Oh, I'm so sorry that's terrible." Remus told her, as he handed her a money bag filled with the gallons the supplies required.
he looked back once again to the help wanted sign and now it made more sense. She had always been alone. He knew how she felt.
She handed him his things in a nice canvas bag. "Here you go lad"
"What was your name again?" She asked.
"Remus." He replied kindly.
"Nice to meet you Remus, I'm Marjorie."
Remus nodded.
"You know if you needed help around the store I could probably help with that? How much help are you looking for?" He asked, noting the help wanted sign.
The old woman's face lit up at these words.
"Oh, Not much. I just need someone to help run the store Saturday through Mondays. I cannot do seven days a week anymore at my age." She explained somberly.
"I could do that." Remus found himself saying.
"We mostly just sell things here, but on occasion people do come in and ask for medical advice or tonics, and those sorts of thing." Marjorie explained, hopefully.
Remus nodded.
"I could do that." He agreed.
He couldn't help feel like it was a good idea. It would allow him to make a little bit more money to help support his family, and it would also allow him to see what went on in the Alley, which could be beneficial to The Order.
Theresa little old witch agreed, and arranged to meet him that Saturday to give him the key to the shop.
He was glad he took the job for many reasons, but Marjorie seemed far too, trusting them, and he was glad he had found the help wanted sign instead of someone else.
That night Remus dreamt of his son for the first time.
He was sitting in his flat in the kitchen, he watched as Tonks walked in the front door holding a tiny little turquoise haired boy.
He was a wide blue eyed and curious child, he couldn't have been more than 3 or maybe four.
The little sandy haired boy ran over to where Remus sat in the kitchen.
"Daddy!" The little boy smiled happily as he brought over a little glass box to show him.
Remus gasped a little surprised when the boy ran to him.
This was his son. It must have been.
"Look. Ants." The boy showed him.
In the glass container he had some large ants and some rocks and grass.
"The grass is for them." He explained to Remus.
Remus nodded, in awe he was with his son.
"You're taking very good care of them." He told his son.
His son crawled up on his lap, "thank you, daddy." He said, cuddling up to him.
Remus was even more surprised at this, but embraced his son immediately, holding him close.
After a few minutes the little boy had fallen asleep on Remus' lap.
Remus brushed his hair out of his little face. Remus couldn't help but notice how perfect he was. The weight of him on his lap felt unfamiliar in some ways, but just perfect at the same time.
Everything from his little eyelashes to his adorable little nose. Remus could have looked at him forever.
"How are my two favorite people?" Tonks asked, coming over to sit with them.
Tonks kissed the sleeping boy on his head.
"He's exhausted." Remus told her, smirking a little. Beguiled by his son's presence.
"He played very hard today, haha. He's a little dare devil. Nothings too hard for him." Tonks explained.
"Oh, I know. Haha." Remus chuckled. kissing the boys head. He was sure it was true, seemed fitting for a child of a marauder.
He even smelt lovely too. His hair smelled of a mixture of baby soap and playground rubber. It suited him well for some reason.
The smell was almost addictive.
He pressed his cheek to his so son's head. Soaking up every second he had.
"You want some honey with a biscuit?" Tonks asked.
Remus nodded, not wanting to wake his son.
"I'm going to put him in his bed." Remus whispered.
Remus slowly brought the sleeping boy to the small room that was now his.
He gently deposited him in his bed, before the boys fluttered open just slightly.
"I love you, Daddy." The little boy whispered sleepily.
Remus' lip trembled just a little.
"I love you too, son."
Remus woke up startled. It had been a dream. A sweet dream. He could still smell the sweet gentle sent of delicate baby soap mixing with playground rubber.
He looked over to his sleeping wife.
He reached his hand out and touched her belly. It felt different than it used to, it was more firm now, and slightly more rounded.
He closed his eyes envisioning his son, happy and healthy years down the line.
If the baby in her tummy became anything like he'd been in the dream that would truly be a dream come true. In the dream his son looked whole and happy and healthy and so curious about the world around him.
It hurt to imagine. He hoped it could be possible and that his son would want him there to experience it all together. But, he was terrified.
He held his hand over his wife's belly a little longer. he wasn't ready to do it in front of her but wanted to bond with his son too.
"I'm sorry, I'm so scared." he whispered to his unborn son.
"I promise I'm going to try to be a better father to you." He said, slipping his hand off his wife.
He eventually laid back down, but kept tossing and turning.
Each time he closed his eyes he'd see the little sandy haired boy with his eyes looking right back at him.
Remus struggled to sleep after the dream and found himself daydreaming about his son. In between all the restlessness, Remus for the first time ever, allowed himself to imagine what could be if everything worked out.
A few weeks later, Molly patted Tonks belly endearingly after an Order meeting.
"What a sweet little baby boy you will have soon, time must just feel like it's flying by,." Molly beamed, looking at the photo that she had been promised at the last Order meeting.
Tonks smiled. "Thank you, Molly."
Remus sat across the room with Arthur who was eating his way through a platter of cookies Ashlee had made.
"Well, almost halfway there. Just a few more weeks. You excited to be a dad.?" Arthur asked.
Ashlee was sitting across the room but had clearly heard as she gave Remus a sideways glare.
Remus swallowed hard. Almost choking on his cookie. He hadn't considered that. Tonks was about 14 weeks pregnant now, in just over a month she'd be halfway done with her pregnancy.
"The last part goes much faster." Arthur warned him, waving his half eaten cookie around as he did.
"Oh." Remus said. Not knowing what to say.
"Yeah, I'm very excited." He lied, eating a bite of the cookie Ashlee had made. Perhaps deep down that was the truth. He hoped it was.
He figured that was what people expected him to say. It wasn't exactly like he could say he was terrified.
"Oh, you're better off than I was. I was a nervous wreck when Molly was pregnant with Bill. Absolutely terrified most of the time."
Remus gasped a little, nodding.
He considered, that Perhaps saying he was terrified would have been acceptable after all.
"Oh, you were?" Remus asked, trying to sound casual.
"Oh, absolutely." Arthur said coming to sit down..
"I was petrified, I was worried about everything from clothing him, to feeding him, to dropping him, to changing him. To sending him off to Hogwarts, to talking to him about girls and sex and his career.
You name it, I worried about it, ask Molly if you don't believe me." Arthur chuckled jovially, shoving the remains of his cookie into his mouth.
Remus nodded. He could now add those fears to the long list of fears he already had.
'Great, More to worry about.' He thought.
"It got better though?" Remus asked
"Oh sure it did. Everything always worked out in the end."
Remus nodded. He hoped that would be true in his case.
"And you know if you ever have any questions, I'm always around, and happy to help. Molly and I are pros." Arthur explained, almost too kindly.
Perhaps he could sense his nerves.
"Thank you Arthur, truth be told I am a little nervous." Remus said, just so he'd hear.
Across the room, Ashlee wasn't looking at them but he knew she was listening to them.
Arthur nodded. "You'll do great. I can tell." He said, reassuring him.
He patted him on the shoulder.
"Thank you, i appreciate that Arthur."
"You guys think of any names yet?" Arthur asked a few minutes later.
Remus' mouth wet totally dry. He tried to take a swig of his tea but it burnt his mouth and throat as it went down. Doing nothing to quell his parched mouth.
He bit his top lip a little. Wishing he could've not answered.
"Oh Ah, mhmmm. Not really." Remus mumbled. Fearing he seemed a bit taciturn.
Arthur nodded. "Just as well. That's a whole other can of warms." He chuckled.
Remus feigned amusement, chuckling along with Arthur.
But, his insides twisted, and felt as though they were eating themselves from the inside out.
As the night progressed, one thing became very and apparently obvious to Remus.
Everyone they knew, was more excited about his own son, than he was. He couldn't help but start to really dislike that. It left a bad taste in his mouth.
He loathed himself. He knew he needed to love his son and to bond with him but he was terrified.
He felt upset for days after the meeting. Remembering Molly and Arthur's excitement.
He needed to try harder, that was the only conclusion he kept coming to.