The news spread throughout the third year about what the notices were, as each house had their own. After Arithmancy the next morning, Aegis brought the subject up as he and Remus were walking to Muggle Studies.

"Do you know about what is happening Wednesday night?"

"The… lessons the Heads are giving us?" Remus asked and Aegis nodded. "Um. Yeah."

Aegis bowed his head. "It is unfathomable to me. How am I going to bear having to listen to Slughorn discuss…" He trailed off, cheeks going pink. "Relations?" he finally settled on.

"I—I would be nice if we could all p-pick who we want to go to," Remus muttered, wanting to disappear, wishing Aegis never said anything; especially since he hadn't even thought of the Slytherins having to listen to Slughorn say those things! "I'd prefer Flitwick. N-not that… I mean, McGonagall—she—she isn't—she is—" He stopped, taking in a deep breath to calm down. "She's a g-girl."

Aegis nodded. "Yes, though Madame Pomfrey would be all right, in my opinion. Since she is a medical witch."

Muggle Studies went by rather fast. Lewis was teaching them about various Muggle disasters of the 20th century, and the unintentional impact magic might have that aided the natural ones. She used Vesuvius as an example, as that was a disaster that had been hotly ("No pun intended," she added, which got a slight giggle from the students who knew what Vesuvius was) debated for centuries. Forty minutes before the lesson was supposed to end, Lewis assigned them an essay on the disaster of their choice, and dismissed them.

"Modern disasters," Sirius said as they left, "will now include Wednesday night."

"Modern disasters are you four," said Bottlebrush as he went by.

Sirius made a rude gesture at his back which the Ravenclaw didn't see, while James cheerfully shouted out a 'thanks!'. Then they both turned to Remus, wanting to know what Vesuvius was and why he had laughed. Remus blinked a few times.

"Mount Vesuvius?" he asked. "Pompeii?"

"Oh," they both said, while Peter still looked a little mystified.

"Volcanic eruption that destroyed the city in the first century," Remus explained further.

Peter's cheeks went a little pink. "I knew that!" His brow furrowed a little. "Well, some of it."

The four of them went up a flight of stairs and went to the same empty classroom they had used for Pete's birthday the day before. James, Peter, and Remus all sat on the floor, while Sirius lounged on the dusty teacher's desk looking right out of a fashion catalog.

"Right, lads, what are we going to do?" James asked after they all got settled.

"About what?" Pete asked back.

"Tomorrow night!" James folded his arms tightly. "We have to do something, we can't just let it happen."

"Let off loads of dungbombs in the room," Sirius suggested with a yawn. "Make it stinky."

"Professor McGonagall will only postpone the lesson," Remus pointed out. "I highly doubt there's anything we can do about it, so we simply should just… get through it."

James made a face. "I'll die hearing things like that from McGonsie."

"Here lies James Potter, he died from hearing his teacher say 'uterus'," Remus grumbled. He wasn't keen on the lesson either but James was beginning to get too dramatic about it. "What?" he asked, realizing they were all staring.

"You said 'uterus'," Sirius remarked.

"It's… the correct term…?"

"Yeah but it's weird enough hearing you say it!" He shook his head. "Wasn't expecting that."

Pete slowly raised his hand, looking even more embarrassed than he had earlier with the Vesuvius thing. "What's a 'uterus'?"

Now Remus felt embarrassed too, by Sirius's comment, and couldn't respond. James inspected his fingernails, pressing his lips tightly together. Finally Sirius said, "The womb. You know, where babies go?"

Peter blushed a little. "Oh! The womb, yeah, okay, that's all I've heard it called."

"Exactly," James said.

Sirius smirked. "You didn't know what it was either, until I said."

"Did so."

"Did not."

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Sirius tackled him and the two began rolling around on the ground, hitting and choking one another until they somehow decided the matter was settled and returned to their seats. Sirius still looked smug. James began talking again of disrupting the lesson, but Sirius and Peter both agreed with Remus; that it wouldn't really do any good. Then Sirius changed the conversation to what he and James were going to do after Transfiguration, because up until then they had managed to avoid McGonagall and the whole Charms class thing. James suggested they sit and listen to her, and feign innocence.

"If we run, she'll be suspect about it," he said. "So if she asks us to stay we do and… pretend we have no idea what she's talking about."

"Sprout told us, so we can't pretend completely," Sirius said.

"Right, well, that's all we know. Is what Sprout told us."

"I feel bad about it," Remus said. "That some kids ended up injured."

James waved his hand. "They're fine. You heard Sprouty. Nothing Pomfrey couldn't fix up nice and quick. We had worse in our first year. Remember you got smashed in the head with the beater's bat?" Suddenly his eyes got big. "Oh, right, that—you—you would have… healed up from what?"

"Erm, yeah, I was mostly fine by the time I got to Pomfrey," Remus admitted.

"And my leg got broken, and Sirius your arm got bro—" James stopped quickly. "Er."

Remus held his breath, waiting. "Yes," Sirius finally said in a strange tone, "I fell at the end of the holidays."

James coughed. "Right. We've all had awful stuff happen to us. They're fine. If they don't end up in the hospital wing overnight then don't fuss about it."

"That is your criteria?" Remus asked. "Overnight?"

"Yes?" He adjusted his glasses. "If Pommy can't fix'em right away then I'd probably feel at least a little guilty."

Remus didn't respond to that, giving up. It was the same conundrum he had a couple of weeks ago, after the Polyjuice thing: the guilt over being hypocritical. Except he never did get to talk to Fawley about it, because… that's when his father showed up… perhaps he would talk to her, finally, about it.

X

Fawley thought the upcoming lesson was wonderful. Of course she would, Remus thought a bit bitterly as she talked about how education regarding that sort of thing was important, and how they never had it when she was in Hogwarts. He finally cut her off, asking if they could please start their lesson? Fawley chuckled, knowing his impatience was more about changing the conversation than wanting to work on Occlumency. She obeyed, though, and soon he was trying to kick her out of his memories. One of the memories was Sprout lecturing them about the prank, and after Remus asked her what she thought.

"I think you are looking more for someone to give you permission than advice," she said and Remus bit his lip. "I can't tell you what to do or what not to do, dear. That is your decision. Some of your pranks are funny. Some go a bit far, though I know that is more of their ideas and not yours. Do you feel guilty about making the furniture dance and hurting the first years?"

"Yes."

Fawley nodded. "And would you do the prank again, knowing the risk?"

He hesitated, wanting to say no but… "Not to first years," he finally said. "Though when we put—when I put the timer spell on everything, none of us had any idea what class Flitwick would be teaching when it went off."

"What about to second years?" she asked, and he didn't reply because he didn't know.

"James says Hogwarts life is dangerous anyway," he finally said.

"It is. In my first year, one of my roommates was trying to practice making a potion, since it was her weakest subject, and she blew up our entire dorm. She was in the hospital wing for nearly a week. I was there overnight. We all were except for her. Accidents do happen. However, pranks are not accidents, though sometimes they have accidental side effects."

Remus rubbed the side of his nose. "Isn't it a moral failing if I continue to help with these pranks knowing it might hurt someone? I just don't know what to do."

"Do you enjoy playing pranks?"

He shrugged, then nodded. "Mostly, yes."

"In your first year, didn't you spongify the entire entrance hall?" she asked and this time he blushed, mumbling a yes. "You had fun doing that?" Another mumbled yes. "Remus, dearest, I am not going to tell you what to do or what not to do. I want you to have fun. You deserve to have fun. You have so much taken away from you, and being with your three friends is good. All I can say is follow your heart. If you love pranks, continue pulling them. Maybe just think a little beforehand whether they might hurt someone or not, and how it would make you feel if it did. Think about ways to make it less risky."

"I honestly never thought making the furniture in Flitwick's classroom dance would be risky," he said.

Fawley nodded. "I know, and that's okay. You cannot predict how something will turn out. That is part of life."

"Thank you, Miss Fawley."

She stroked his hair. "For what it's worth, I think making all of the furniture in the classroom dance would be very funny, and I wish you could show me that part of it."

"I also… wanted to talk about what happened last month. When James and Sirius… pretended to be Mulciber and Avery." He glanced at her, not sure how much she knew about the incident.

"The Polyjuice potion?"

He nodded. "Yes, that. Just before it happened, a Gryffindor attacked a Slytherin and got the Slytherin in trouble, do you remember? And I told McGonagall. But then I went and did the same thing. Doesn't that make me a hypocrite?"

Fawley didn't reply right away. Her face was set into a 'thinking' sort of expression and finally she took his hands. "You're a teenager. You're going to do things you'll look back on and regret. You're going to do stupid things. Especially with the fact James Potter and Sirius Black are your friends. Yes, it is hypocritical, but nobody is perfect all of the time. That's what makes us human, Remus. We make mistakes."

He wriggled a little, just as confused as ever. "I shouldn't have done it."

"I'm not going to give you morality lectures," she said, letting go of him now. "You can't have someone tell you what is right or wrong, you need to figure that out yourself and what you feel is right or wrong. You did something that you feel was wrong, and that is a lesson for your future. You can't change the past, even with a time-turner. You can only learn and grow." She stroked his hair, giving him a gentle smile. "Which is okay to do."

Remus smiled at that, and felt better. But he also knew if they were planning a potentially dangerous prank, refused to listen to him, and then pushed him hard enough to help… he would help out. He wanted to ask Fawley if it was wrong to put his friendship above everything else, however that was another conversation entirely and one he definitely didn't want to have. Not at this point in time, when he knew he'd do anything to keep James, Sirius, and Peter in his pathetic life for as long as possible.

X

There was one thing he was pushing against, though, and that was doing something to the Lesson on Wednesday night. James kept trying to figure out ways to prevent it, and Remus kept pointing out it would only delay the inevitable.

"It's like a plaster," Peter said. "You rip it off as quick as you can."

"What's that?" James asked. "Plaster, I mean. Isn't that what some cheap statues get made out of?"

"It's a Muggle way of healing," Remus said. "Though I'm not entirely sure what they look like."

Peter blinked at Remus. "You… don't know?"

He shrugged. "I've never needed anything to help heal me," he pointed out. "And Dad is decent at those sorts of potions, so Mum always used potions and not anything Muggle. But I've read about them in books. They go over small cuts, right?"

"Yes," Peter said, looking pleased about explaining something Remus didn't know much about; he was still a little stung from before. "They're like… a little pad of cloth with sticky tape over, sort've, to keep them in place. They stick good to your skin and it can hurt pulling them off. You gotta yank'em off quickly. It really hurts, but then the hurt doesn't last super long like pulling it slowly off would."

"I want plasters," James said, turning to Peter. "Bring some back after the holidays, would you?"

Peter looked suspicious. "Why do you want them?"

"I just want to see what they're like," James replied innocently, fooling nobody.

The rest of the day went by far too quickly for them, and before long it was six pm and the Gryffindor third years were gathered in the Transfiguration classroom. They weren't sitting in their usual formation. Instead all the girls sat on one side and all the boys were on the other. Or rather, Dave and Spinnet were near the front while the four Marauders huddled in the back until McGonagall told them to take seats closer. They miserably slunk forward, sitting behind the other two boys.

She also had to take the earmuffs off of James, who did his best to look innocent.

The lesson didn't turn out quite as awful as Remus expected, although it was absolutely horrifying to hear McGonagall say some of the words. Worst of all, she had diagrams up on the chalkboard (which started James on wanting to know why girls had a cow's head inside of them, and if that's why they were called cows sometimes, and then Gryffindor lost ten points for that).

The girls began giggling wildly whenever McGonagall spoke about boy things, and then again when she talked about pregnancy. McGonagall made it clear they were too young for 'that sort of thing' but when they were adults and 'ready', to make sure they were safe whenever they did anything. She talked a little about certain potions to prevent pregnancy and also ones to help prevent diseases, which startled Remus a little and made him suddenly afraid that lycanthropy could be given that way, even though deep down he knew that made no sense. If his human saliva didn't turn anyone then surely his human… other stuff… wouldn't either. Not that it would ever in a zillion years matter.

It took an hour and a half, and when McGonagall finally asked if there were any questions the only one she got was if they were allowed to leave. She made them stay a few minutes longer, repeating the bit about questions to the group of red-faced teenagers. Finally, she gave up and said if they ever had any questions to ask her, one of the other Heads, or Madame Pomfrey. She also suggested they read Your Body At Hogwarts, then told them they could go; there was a stampede to leave the room.

"Hey Red!" James called.

"Oh, no," Remus moaned, knowing nothing good could come of this.

James ran over to Lily who glowered at him. "McGonsie said girls usually start getting their tits by your age, so what's wrong with y—"

She slapped him so hard the entire corridor heard it, and James returned to the other Marauders, rubbing the reddening handprint on his cheek. "It was only a question," he grumbled.

At least it was over, and as Remus lay in bed that night he kept thinking about how it could have been worse. There was quite a bit she didn't talk about, to his relief. She didn't talk about how boys sometimes had… problems during the middle of the night, and also didn't talk about how they often got stiffies for no apparent reason (which was awful in class; and had been awful for him the previous year when he had thought there had been reasons behind them, not knowing they were entirely random until a bit later). She seemed more focused on girl things, which made him wonder if Flitwick and Slughorn talked more about boy things.

When he drifted into sleep, he had nightmares about someone talking about sex and how it affected werewolves. The disembodied voice kept saying it could be transmitted that way, and someone shook Remus telling him he could never have relations with anyone. Soon, he realized it was his mother and she told him he had to be alone his entire life. He tried explaining that he knew that, and he'd never be with a girl anyway. His mother grew very big and shrieked about degeneracy and how David Bowie turned him into one of those.

Then, suddenly, as if by Apparition, he was alone in the Transfiguration classroom again. Someone said it was time to learn about how two boys did things together, and then Remus was in a spiky cage that kept shrinking as he tried to plead that he wasn't one of those. The voice started whispering 'diseased' over and over again, and Remus began screaming as the silver spikes grew closer and closer and his mother was shaking him again, gently this time as she said his name, but the spikes were closer and closer and—

"Remus!"

He woke up with a yelp, nearly banging his face into Sirius's. "Wh—what? Sorry, I—I—" He stopped, realizing the lights were on and everyone was staring at him; he was tangled up in his blanket on the floor. He had fallen out of bed again. "Sorry…"

Spinnet snorted, shaking his head. "He needs a toddler's cot."

"Shut up, Spinnet," James growled.

Sirius was still kneeling in front of Remus who began trying to sit up. "I'm sorry, I'm all right. I—" The memory of the nightmare flooded back into him, and he remembered trying to say he wasn't the G word. He felt all the blood draining out of his face. "Was—was I saying anything?" he asked, his throat constricting.

"Not really, you were only making this panicked sort of wailing sound," Sirius reassured him. Well, Sirius didn't sound reassuring, more worried than anything else, but it reassured Remus nonetheless that that's all that came out of his mouth.

"Only?" Spinnet demanded. "He sounded like a dying banshee!"

"You know, being a total wanker doesn't help the situation at all," James told him. "He's calmed down now. How about you go to bed and we don't have a fight because you're being a twat?"

Spinnet glared at Remus before climbing back into bed. David didn't say anything but he did shake his head as he went back to bed too, and Remus felt awful. He kept trying to apologize as Sirius helped him up, but his friends wouldn't hear of it. They promised him it was fine. But it wasn't fine. Maybe he did need railings or something to stop him from falling out of bed. While it wasn't often, it still happened.

When Remus put his blanket back on his bed, he made sure the sheets were tucked in tightly. His friends watched with concern, voicing their quiet opinions that he didn't need to do that. He shrugged them off and slithered into bed, feeling constricted; which was better than at risk for causing another scene.

"You don't need to do that," Sirius said again, hovering at the side of his bed and looking at the tight sheets as if he might try to yank them loose.

"I'm fine. You should go to bed, I've kept you awake long enough."

He looked like he wanted to ask something else, but then he gave a little sigh and said goodnight, returning to his own bed. Remus shut his curtains with his wand and then rolled onto his side, trying to get back to sleep.

X

Lily's slap to James must have been inspiring, because on Thursday between Defense Against the Dark Arts and lunch, Cassie walked up to Sirius and slapped him. James, Peter, and Remus stared open-mouthed while Sirius reeled back, his hand flying to the spot.

"Kioko Tanaka?!" Cassie screeched, hands curled into tight fists held against her thighs. Despite the anger in her voice, her face looked sadder than anything else, and there were tears in her eyes.

Sirius rubbed his cheek, frowning. "What?"

"You—you know what!" She shoved him before stumbling back and wiping her cheeks off onto her sleeves. "How could you?! I thought—oh! I hate you, Sirius Black, I hope you die!" She whirled around and ran off.

Lily and Alice both looked as though they were smelling something unpleasant.

"That was a rather low thing to do," Alice said before going after Cassie.

"It's disgusting," added Lily before she took off too.

Sirius stared after them then shouted, "SHE'S THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH ME!" though neither girl reacted and soon disappeared around a corner. "She broke up with me," he said again to the Marauders.

"What's going on about Tanaka?" James asked.

Sirius rubbed the red spot again. "I asked her out to tea this Saturday, since… you know… Cassandra ended things with me. I don't understand why it's a problem." Despite trying to sound determined, he sounded guilty instead.

Tanaka. It didn't surprise Remus, not really; she was, according to all the boys, the prettiest girl in their year. She and Sirius had occasionally flirted. It made sense.

James smacked Sirius's shoulder. "Girls don't make any sense, mate; they're drama, said it before and I stand by it."

"She probably thought you'd go back to her," Peter stated the obvious.

Sirius kicked at the floor. "She broke up with me," he repeated. "Said I was gross and immature. If she wanted me so much, she shouldn't have done that." He glanced up towards the corner the girls had gone around. "It's her own doing."

The four of them started walking again towards the Great Hall, while Remus worried what this might mean. If Sirius and Cassie had a messy breakup… what would that mean for him and Lily? She'd take Cassie's side, and Remus would take Sirius's side; would she be mad at him for doing so? He wouldn't mind not spending so much time around Cassie and Alice, since he still felt… rather awkward around them. But he certainly didn't want things between him and Lily to get bad. Surely she wouldn't care, would she? He didn't. But James was right about girls not making much sense. He kept thinking back to when Lily blamed him for the whole Magpie thing. That didn't make sense.

He sighed, figuring he'd have to talk to her later about things.

X

As Thursday progressed, the third years seemed to grow gigglier and gigglier. Remus noticed a lot of students whispering with those in different houses, which wasn't too strange but also not as common as it was today. He didn't figure out what was going on until he was on his way to Divination; ahead of him Aubrey and Bottlebrush of Ravenclaw were talking to Wicket and Fox of Slytherin of all people. Snatches of their hushed conversation drifted back to Remus, and he pieced the bits and pieces together to realize they were exchanging information that they learned the previous night. Comparing what Flitwick and Slughorn had said.

Then Fox stopped and looked at Remus. "Hey, Loopy." Remus froze, staring up in fear, wondering if he was going to be attacked. "Hey, c'mere. What did McGonagall say?"

He knew perfectly well what Fox was meaning but acted like he didn't since he did not want to have this conversation. "About wh—what?"

There were snickers. "You know." Fox put an arm around Remus's shoulder and he felt afraid. Fox usually cursed him or beat him up, not… this. This was uncomfortable. "About putting the wand in the holster."

"The—what?" He blinked, the phrase confusing him for a second until he connected it to what was said before. "Ah—w-well—I—th-that—" He felt himself burning up. "I d-d-don't—that—I—ahhh—"

"Pointless to ask Loopy," laughed Wicket, pulling Fox away. "He probably still doesn't know what anything is. Couldn't find his own broomstick even with a map. Hey! Struthers!" They ambushed David who looked ready to run. "What did McGonagall tell you lot last night? About… you know." He winked.

David scowled. "You called me the M-word not long ago, why should I say anything to you besides bugger off?" With that he stormed off, head held high. Remus scurried after him, not wanting to be left behind with the Slytherins. Or even the Ravenclaws. He didn't want this conversation with anyone.

In fact when he went down for supper and found the Marauders missing, he started to head towards the girls; he wasn't sure if he'd be allowed to sit with them or if they'd be mad at him too… but as he grew close he could hear them whispering and the little snatches that floated to his ears informed him they were talking about that. Ugh

Quickly he turned and, after surveying the table, decided he might as well just leave since he wasn't really hungry. He headed to the library and, because he wasn't meeting Jean-Marie for another fifty minutes, spread out his own homework to begin working on his assignments. He was part way through doing research for his History essay when he heard a shout of annoyance. It sounded like Farrow, which didn't make sense since he certainly wouldn't be making noise like that in his own libr—

More shouts, and someone yelled 'stop it!'. Was there a fight going on? He looked towards the sounds then got up. Just as he turned an aisle, he yelped and fell back as an enormous snow-dragon danced past him. It left a slushy, watery trail behind it as bits of it dropped off with each jiggly dance move. A second later Farrow came running over, only to slip in some of the slush and go down.

"Stop it!" he shouted when he saw Remus.

Remus ran after the snow-dragon, not sure what to do. Melting it would make a huge puddle which wasn't exactly the best thing to do in the library. Finally he put the general counter-spell on it and the hindquarters stopped dancing, the snow falling into a mound. The front part of the dragon kept dancing though. Farrow was after it again by this point, and took the spell off the front part.

"Where are they?" he demanded, whirling on Remus.

"I—what?" he squeaked, knowing damn well who did this. "I don't know, I haven't seen them in a while."

Farrow gave him a look. "Did you help them?"

"No! I'd never!"

"Sir, there's water spreading everywhere," a sixth year girl said, poking her head around the corner. "Some of the snow fell on some books, too."

Farrow sighed.

"C-can I help?" Remus asked.

"Yes. Go inform Professor McGonagall what happened, since I assume this is the work of Potter and Black!" He turned around and began using drying spells, being very careful not to point his wand at any of the books.

Remus gathered his things up and headed to the Great Hall where there were the remains of another snow-dragon, fallen apart by the Ravenclaw table. He glanced first at the Gryffindor table, noticing none of them were there. Then he looked at McGonagall who was headed straight for him.

"I don't know where they are," he said immediately before she could say anything. "Mr. Farrow's asked me to inform you that… there was a dancing snow-dragon in the library as well."

"When was the last time you saw them?" she asked.

"Before Divination, and none of them mentioned having anything planned. Perhaps it wasn't them?"

McGonagall snorted and he had to agree with that snort; who else would it have been? And sure enough as he headed back to the library, he was ambushed by the other Marauders who pulled him into a side corridor, all three of them laughing at their prank.

"We could have had a third one if you didn't take Divination," James accused.

"I tried, and did it slowly like you taught me the other day… but it fell over and rolled down the hill," Peter lamented. "So we could only have two."

"What did McGonsie do when she saw it?" Sirius asked, grinning.

"I don't know, I was in the library. Which, by the way, has an enormous mess in it now, thank you. Why did you send one into the library? With books?"

James pat Remus's back. "The books have spells on them to prevent them from getting all soggy, right? No harm. But if you were in the library, why were you coming from the direction of the Great Hall towards the library?"

"Farrow asked me to tell McGonagall," he explained, folding his arms. "Both know it was you. Farrow practically accused me as well."

"We were going to go hide out behind the mirror on the fifth floor for a while," Sirius said, nudging him. "Come with us."

"I have to meet with Jean-Marie in half an hour, sorry."

Sirius made a growling sound. "His English seems fine, why d'you need to help him anyway? He doesn't really need a tutor anymore."

Remus shrugged, not saying anything since he sort've agreed with Sirius; Jean-Marie's English was good enough to get by in all his classes. However there was always the chance something might come up that he might need translated. Professors McGonagall and Charlemagne asked him to help so, until he was told otherwise, he would help.

"Good luck not getting caught," he said before returning to the library where he helped clean up the water. By the time they were done mopping everything up, Jean-Marie was there and the two of them spent the next hour talking about various things and not working on homework at all.