Author's note: Here we are again in front of this story and a new chapter! We'll continue where we left off in the previous chapter, on a rather sad note if I'm allowed to say so myself — luckily today we'll finally get to resolve the disagreements looming between our favourite couple. Still, of course, knowing me, it is not without tears. I seriously had a lot of fun writing this chapter and hope you enjoy reading it even half as much! But I shan't go on and on about it and let you get to reading now. As always I would appreciate it if you let me know what you think with a little review if you've only just the time! Stay safe and we'll hopefully see again soon :)

"Mrs Patmore said you've told her everything. I'm glad."

Elsie nodded slowly before answering, "I thought she deserved to know. After all, she's once more playing her part in what should be a marriage between the two of us."

"Quite right," Charles said.,

"And I'm very grateful to her. If it wasn't for her and the conversation she forced me to have with her, I wouldn't have agreed to talk with you tonight, Charlie. You've not been fair to me and I won't lie to you that you've hurt me."

He stared at her, unable to find the right words. He wanted to say something, of course, — to tell her, to explain — but his voice seemed to have caught in his throat and refused to come out.

"And I don't think I've been entirely fair towards you either. And I'm sorry," she continued in earnest.

Charles gulped down the lump in his throat as he took in her words.

"She's right in another way, too. We do need to talk, you and me."

Elsie, too, fell silent then — she hoped that, now that she had said something on the matter, he would say something in return. A minute or two passed and neither had spoken.

"Do you-" they both spoke abruptly, their voices mingling together in the otherwise quiet room.

Both looked away, getting cold feet from the sudden interruption after finally gathering enough courage to speak again. Another silence prevailed for a while until Charles spoke.

"We're being terribly awkward, aren't we?" he raised his eyebrows, noticing the silliness of the situation they had gotten themselves into.

"Quite," she sighed, yet with a weak smile gracing her lips.

"Why don't I speak first and then you can say what you think, alright? Or we can do it the other way if you'd prefer that, of course."

Elsie seemed to think for a moment.

"Alright," she said and looked back up at him, "You'll go first."

Charles nodded his agreement gratefully, "Thank you."

He stood up from where he was seated and made his way to join his wife on the couch. She scooted over to give him space, folding her hands on her lap to keep herself from fidgeting.

"Let me finish before saying anything, please. Else I'll forget something important."

"I'll try my best," she nodded slowly.

He looked at her for a moment and then took her hands in his, needing her touch to steady himself as he began to speak, concentrating on every word that left his mouth, "Ever since, well, I'm not even sure if I'm honest — but it has been a long time — almost all I can think about is you. What you might be thinking or doing, what lovely things I'd tell you the next time I get to see you again."

She was taken aback by the honesty and clarity in his voice and had to forcibly bite her lip to keep herself from crying — from telling him he sounds silly and asking him to stop, for how could any of that be further from the truth? He seemed to notice this and pushed on.

"Elsie, you are what matters to me more than breathing. And knowing you are hurting, that I have hurt you, is worse than anything else I know. When I told his lordship and her ladyship, I did not for once think of anything else but you, you must know that. I did not think straight because it was about you. I have been trying my hardest to help you and make you realize that you cannot go on as before — even if I know you're stubborn enough when you put your mind to it — because things just aren't as they were before. As much as it breaks my heart to admit it, and for a while I would refuse to believe it, you are not fine. You are sick and all I've seemed to be doing is add to your load. What I did was very wrong, I know it now. And I am so sorry. I am sorry for making you believe you or your opinions did not matter to me. Because I can reassure you, that could not be any further from the truth," he took a deep breath and watched the tears forming in her eyes, "Never think I do not care for you, Elsie Carson. I love you, for better and for worse. Every minute of every single day. I was stupid and…what I did was unforgivable, but should there be anything that I can do to try and fix my mistakes, I will be at your beck and call to do so. Just, please, try not to be hurt because of what I have done any more."

He brought her hands to his lips and breathed in her sweet scent, feeling his tears pouring over. Elsie sniffed, batting her eyes as her own tears fell.

"And I'm so sorry that I cannot do anything to make things right again."

Elsie shook her head, unable to form any words, and scurried to get closer to him. She pulled at her hands and placed them at both sides of his face, cupping his cheeks and touching the tears that now fell freely.

"Don't cry, I beg of you, Charlie," she cried, "not for me."

His other hand found its way to the back of her head, his fingers spread in her hair, and the other came to rest against her cheek.

"All this time I've thought of how much you must be hurting because of me. And that is not fair. Why should you be hurting when you're healthy, when it is me who's going to die? Please, don't cry," she swallowed another set of tears before continuing, "We were supposed to be happy for the next thirty years and I've gone and ruined everything."

"Oh, my darling, you've not ruined anything. Don't you ever dare blame yourself."

His words had little to no effect as her tears only seemed to intensify, "I do not want to leave you, Charlie. It was always supposed to be the other way: you were supposed to go first. Now I am going to die and it's just not fair-"

Her teary rant was stopped when Charles pulled her almost forcefully against him and blanketed her smaller and now shaking frame with his arms. She held onto his shirt labels, burying her face against his chest as she sobbed. His tears mingled with her curls as he held onto her for dear life. He did not want her to leave him either.

—

Cora sat in bed in the dark, listening to the crickets outside the window, unable to fall asleep despite the late hour. Robert seemed to be fast asleep next to her with his back turned towards her and his steady breathing calming her. She sometimes wondered how he could sleep so easily when her thoughts kept her awake even if she was desperate for sleep.

Since the scene in her bedroom last night, the housekeeper had seemingly occupied most of the Countess' thoughts. Cora was well and truly worried for the other woman and for a good reason, she added in her mind. Moreover, she and Robert had been the cause for the butler and housekeeper to seemingly fall out and now the housekeeper had not even shown up at work — which Cora knew to be very unlikely. It didn't sit right with her at all. It was not that she minded the housekeeper was missing work, but that she was sitting alone and scared. But Cora could hardly meddle with another couple's marriage…So, what was she to do? What could she do, anyway?

"I can almost hear your thoughts, darling," a tired voice sounded from next to her and Cora turned her head to look at him.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep," Cora said gently, taking hold of the hand her husband was holding out for her to grab, having turned to rest on his other side so he was facing her," I was thinking about Mrs Hughes."

Robert hummed and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "I supposed you would be."

"Do you think they might have made up yet?"

"I doubt that. But who knows," Robert said and propped himself on his elbow, grunting slightly as he did so.

Cora frowned disappointedly and Robert continued, "But I'm sure they will, in their own good time. You mustn't worry about it when there's nothing you can do about it, Cora."

"Oh, I know…If only you just hadn't said anything-"

"Think sensibly, Cora, I beg you. Were we really supposed to keep such a secret from the person who knows everything about everyone?"

Cora had to smile at that momentarily — he did have a point. "I only worry about her. Mrs Hughes doesn't deserve any of this."

Robert offered a supporting smile, "And I agree, but I'm sure Carson and Mrs Hughes will sort themselves out rather sooner than later. Then we'll see what happens next."

"Do you suppose they'll tell everyone else?"

"They would have to, wouldn't they? It's not something you can hide forever."

"I suppose so…"

Robert shifted so that he was lying on his back and nudged his wife with his elbow, "Come to sleep and we'll worry about all this again tomorrow."

"I'm not sure I can," Cora argued.

"Well, why not try? You won't be able to be of help to anyone if you haven't slept."

Robert expectantly lifted the sheets for his wife so she could properly slip under their comforting warmth — eventually, she adjusted her pillow and nestled against his side as he pulled the soft cotton sheets over both of their bodies and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"You're being very silly, you do know that don't you?" Robert mumbled, having closed his eyes again as sleep was about to take over.

Cora let out a sigh and felt her husband hold onto her a bit tighter. Sleep was finally catching up to her and she let out a yawn. "Perhaps I am, Robert, but can you blame me?"

Her question was never answered as her husband had fallen back asleep, now holding her steady in his arms. Soon, the wife fell into a restful slumber too.

—

Charles delved into his breast pocket and took out his handkerchief, holding it out to his wife. Elsie took it from his extended palm gratefully and wiped at her eyes and nose. Charles then leaned back on the couch, his left hand resting against her back and drawing soothing circles around it.

"Now I've ruined this too," she mumbled, sniffing, and looked at the piece of cloth in her hands. The pattern was familiar and, upon closer inspection, she noticed it was the one she had given him shortly after their engagement — she had told him it was something that would always remind him of her love, half joking. He had never told her that it was something that he always carried with him wherever he went.

"It's alright. We'll wash it and it'll be right as new," Charles reassured, taking the said cloth from her hands and folding it aside.

"I never knew you had it still."

"I've had it since you gave it to me and never parted with it. Whenever I miss you, I can do this-" as he spoke, he placed his free hand against where his heart lay beneath his pocket, "-and always be reminded of your love. Just as you said I would."

Elsie tilted her head as she gazed at him sadly, biting her lip, "If you continue like that you'll make me cry again, Charlie. I think I've already done enough of that lately."

"Quite right, forgive me, Mrs Carson."

She offered him a smile and leaned back against him. She was shivering a bit as she had a habit of doing after crying, and so, he was happy to warm her up in his embrace.

"Thank you for agreeing to talk with me," Charles said gently.

"Thank you for not thinking me selfish, Charlie," Elsie whispered back.

"Never. Do me a favour and hit me in the head if I even dare think of such a far-fetched idea."

He managed to make her laugh ever so slightly and it made his heart sing with joy.

"And thank you for being so good to me," she continued, twisting her head to the side to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth, "I couldn't have done all this without you."

Charles smiled, "Oh, I'm sure you could conquer the entire world on your own if you only just put your mind to it, my love. However, I am very glad you haven't gone to take over anything quite yet and allow me to do all this with you."

"I do mean it, Charlie," she said in a more serious tone despite his teasing.

Charles squeezed her shoulder and she snuggled her head in the crook of his neck, "I know, love. And I meant what I said too, each and every word."

They remained quiet for a moment, both thinking and relishing the comfort of having the other in their embrace. Now that they had made up after their fight, a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Both knew it wouldn't last for very long and the weight they were to carry would get much worse in the coming days, weeks, months perhaps. When Charles eventually spoke, Elsie was surprised to hear his voice again after the long silence.

"Come with me to see Dr Clarkson, please. If he believes there might be a chance that he'll be able to remove the cancer altogether-"

"Charlie," she said, making him stop talking. She moved away from his embrace, turning to face him on the couch, but never quite met his eye, "-false hope never did anyone any good."

"There might still be a way. You cannot think there isn't."

She frowned, "I have cancer, Charlie. It's the reality, face it."

"I will not until we've tried everything we can to heal you!" he insisted, his voice louder than he had intended and she was taken aback. He did not want to sound angry, for he wasn't, and continued more calmly, now forcing her to look him in the eyes by holding up her chin with his fingers, "I haven't given up on you, Elsie. And neither has Dr Clarkson. Please, agree to do the surgery. If you won't do it for your own sake then do it for me. Because I do not want to live without you. I do not want to have to say goodbye yet."

She was crying again and Charles felt terrible because there were few things worse than seeing her cry. Through her tears, much to his surprise, she nodded nevertheless — rapid eager nods. He breathed a shaky breath as he pulled her face towards him and captured her lips between his. He didn't know when he had felt such relief before. She tasted of her, of what it felt to be home, with just a pinch of salt from her tears. Thank God, he repeated in his mind, thank God.

She kissed him back longingly, her hands coming up so she could run her fingers through his hair.

"Oh, how I love you, Els," he breathed between kisses and catching air.

She nodded again and rested her forehead against his, "I know. I love you too."

He let his hands slide down and pull her tightly against him but was careful not to hurt her, "Do you-"

"Yes," Elsie knew he would ask even before he did. She let him take her hand and guide her up to her feet alongside him. She felt wobbly and unsteady, and she held onto him to stay upright as he kissed her again, "Please…"

They parted their lips and for a moment they breathed each other, their faces barely apart.

"Make me feel alive. Show me what to live for, Charlie," she stared into his eyes and he swore all rational thought left his body just by looking at those beautiful blue eyes. Never would he understand what he had done to deserve to have her in his arms. When he had her here with him, he was happier than anywhere else and knew he would continue to be so for as long as there remained any air in his lungs. She was his and he was hers. Nothing else mattered as she pulled him with her towards the stairs and their bedroom. For as long as it was needed, he would keep showing her just how much there was still to keep living for.