AN:
Thank you for the reviews and thank you for the support regarding Colonel Fitzwilliam.
This has been the most frustrating chapter, not in terms of writing, but so many computer issues, losing work or working in the wrong version, ug.
With updates coming so far apart, I know it's probably hard to remember some of the details, so I hope you'll indulge me in reminding you that in chapter 3, it was established that Darcy grew up knowing his parents wanted (almost expected) him to marry his cousin and he basically made a conditional agreement to marry her if bonding improves her health. He's not giving in to his Aunt's fantasy.
And if you'll indulge me a little further, some things to consider regarding chapter 13:
-It's Lizzy who would be hurt if the story got out so there's no real reason for Darcy to try to pay her to be quiet.
-It wasn't Darcy's best moment, he has some things to learn to be sure, but if Caroline Bingley had shown up and behaved exactly as Lizzy did would anyone blame Darcy for thinking she was trying to trap him?
-While it was insulting that Darcy assumed the worst, Lizzy was also confused by her own actions and sudden attraction, and then Georgiana knocked Darcy over and it made her laugh. It's hard to stay angry when you're laughing that hard.
OK thanks for listening and here at last is chapter 15:
Despite Jane's agreeing to wear a new shawl Mr. Bingley did not propose to her when he joined the Bennet's for a family dinner a few days after his return, nor did he do so in the weeks that followed. When he accepted an invitation to spend Christmas with them Mrs. Bennet was sure he would choose that day to answer her wishes but when he left them in the evening nothing had changed. If anything he seemed determined to make the acquaintance of the Gardiners and to be as attentive to the rest of the family as he was to Jane.
"What can he mean," lamented Mrs. Bennet, "to be coming here and leaving again without making an offer to dear Jane? And when I was particularly careful to leave them alone, I do not understand him."
Elizabeth exchanged a conspiratorial glance with her aunt Gardiner for the two of them had returned to Jane and Mr. Bingley a few moments after her mother had called them away. Jane had particularly entreated them not to leave her alone with him.
Elizabeth watched Mr. Bingley closely and was by no means discouraged. She noticed how often, when he was in conversation with others, his eyes drifted toward Jane and she was convinced his attentions to others were costing him some effort to maintain. Her suspicions were confirmed almost a week later when the four of them were out walking. Mrs. Gardiner took Elizabeth's arm, and after putting a finger to her lips in warning, drew her away from the other two. When they were out of earshot she said quietly "I am afraid we must break our promise to Jane, Lizzy. Mr. Bingley has requested my help in arranging for a private conversation with her and I confess I felt no scruple in agreeing to it, despite my earlier promise."
Elizabeth expressed her delight and the two of them walked on in another direction. After talking of their mutual happiness Mrs. Gardiner took the opportunity to speak to her niece on another topic which could not be so agreeable; the imprudence of a match with Mr. Wickham. After speaking of the lack of fortune on both sides and Elizabeth's good sense she continued, "I know you are not the sort of girl to wish to impose on Mr. Bingley. You would not expect him to advance your husband's career."
"Certainly not."
"But without assistance Mr. Wickham could not support a wife and family and Mr. Bingley seems the sort of man who would feel obliged to help him, in addition to whatever he may do for the rest of you, after your father is gone. I would have you be on your guard. Do not involve yourself, or endeavor to involve him, in an affection which the want of fortune would make so very imprudent."
"My dear aunt, this is being serious indeed."
"Yes, and I hope to engage you to be serious likewise."
"Well then, you need not be under any alarm. I see the danger to Mr. Bingley, I would not by any means prevail upon his good nature. For his sake, as well as for Jane's I will take care of myself and Mr. Wickham too. He will not be in love with me if I can help it."
"Elizabeth, you are not serious now. I have nothing to say against Mr. Wickham; he is a most interesting young man; and if he had the fortune he ought to have, I should think you could not do better. But as it is, you must not let your fancy run away with you."
It could not be possible, in such a case, to expect Elizabeth to refrain from exclaiming against the "abominable Mr. Darcy" who had withheld Mr. Wikham's living, or to consider that if he'd had it they might never have met, but she was reasonable enough to see the wisdom of he aunt's advice without resentment and soon promised her to do her best not to become attached. Her aunt was satisfied and they returned to the house to be greeted by Jane, hear her happy news, and offer their congratulations.
"I understand," said Jane later that evening when they were alone in their room, "that I have you to thank, Lizzy, for my current happiness."
"Me! What could I have to do with it?"
"Would you believe when Bingley left for town he really loved me, but was convinced of my indifference? If not for your conversation with Eleos he would have had no reason to hurry back and would have been likely to stay away until his own feelings were better under control. You did not mention that you spoke with Eleos."
"I did not expect it to make a difference and thought it would only bring you further pain. I hope I did not say anything out of turn. To be honest I did not think Eleos would understand me so well as to repeat it, but I believe I spoke only of my own disappointment."
"You cannot suppose me to be angry considering the result."
Elizabeth answered with a fond smile, "I can hardly suppose you to be angry under any circumstances. But how did Mr. Bingley account for his believing you indifferent?"
"He did not elaborate, he only said Mr. Darcy had his best interest at heart, and would soon be satisfied by seeing him happy."
"Mr. Darcy! What could he know of a woman's feelings, or anyone's feelings he loves no one but Georgiana. He thought only of our not being grand enough for his friend."
"But think Lizzy, if Bingley does not mind my connections what could it be to Mr. Darcy? He had no reason to claim he thought me indifferent if he were not sincere. He was wrong to be sure, but he acted out of concern for his friend."
"Oh, Jane you are too good. If you cannot be persuaded to think badly of the man who would have ruined your happiness there is no hope of your ever thinking badly of anyone, and I began to think Mr. Bingley must be your equal to have so much faith in Mr. Darcy's judgment, it is a credit to his modesty, but can he really place so much faith in his friend? His sisters must have helped convince him."
"If they did he said nothing of it. I do not believe he meant to tell me about Mr. Darcy. He had spoken before he realized it. Now that I have told you we must both endeavor to forget it, ourselves."
Elizabeth laughed, "Jane, how could you possibly forgive Mr. Darcy let alone forget what he has done."
"Oh, Lizzy, I am so happy, I believe I am equal to anything. If I could but see you as happy! If there were but such another man for you!"
"Until I have your goodness I can not have your happiness. There is not a man in the world who would make me so happy that I would wish to forgive Mr. Darcy for anything let alone allow me to succeed at it. You must not expect of others that of which only your generous heart is capable."
Miss Bennet eagerly disclaimed all extraordinary merit and threw back the praise on her sister's warm affection. Not wishing to argue, Elizabeth spoke instead to Mr. Bingley's fine qualities and found her sister much more agreeable to hearing praise for him than for herself.
(0)
Charlotte Lucas was married to Mr. Collins in early January and left for Kent the same day. Jane was married to Mr. Bingley later the same month. Both the Bingleys expressed the wish that Elizabeth would give at least half her time to them at Netherfield when they returned from Bath where they were to spend the rest of the winter.
With Jane and Charlotte gone February was very dull with not even the frequent company of Mr. Wickham to enliven it. Mrs. Gardiner's concern had been unnecessary. Mr. Wickam's apparent partiality had subsided, his attentions were over, he was the admirer of someone else. Elizabeth was watchful enough to see it all, but she could see it and write of it without material pain. Her heart had been but slightly touched, and her vanity was satisfied with believing that she would have been his only choice, had fortune permitted it. The sudden acquisition of ten thousand pounds was the most remarkable charm of the young lady to whom he was now rendering himself agreeable; but Elizabeth, less clear-sighted perhaps in his case than in Charlotte's, did not quarrel with him for his wish of independence. Nothing, on the contrary, could be more natural; and while able to suppose that it cost him a few struggles to relinquish her, she was ready to allow it a wise and desirable measure for both, and could very sincerely wish him happy.
Her father must have noticed the change and said to her one morning, "You have been very dull of late Elizabeth, have you been crossed in love? We do not see so much of Mr. Wickham, since Miss King inherited 10,000 pounds. But take heart, my dear. Next to being married, a woman likes to be crossed in love now then and Mr. Wickham has a fair countenance, if you were to be jilted you could not have chosen a better man for the job."
"I have not had that good fortune," she answered in the same tone, "though I should certainly be a more interesting object to all my acquaintance were I distractedly in love with him, it is not so. I am convinced that I have never been much in love; for had I really experienced that pure and elevating passion, I should at present detest his very name, and wish him all manner of evil. But my feelings are not only cordial towards him; they are even impartial towards Miss King.
"You may not regret your comparative insignificance but think of your poor mother who will miss the opportunity to make the most of it."
"Importance may sometimes be purchased too dearly. My mother must be satisfied to lament over Kitty and Lydia, they take his defection much more to heart than I do. They are young in the ways of the world, and not yet open to the mortifying conviction that handsome young men must have something to live on as well as the plain."
Mr. Bennet smiled, "Ah, yes but we cannot expect the wisdom from them of your advanced years." Then indicating a letter she had been reading asked, "Is that from Jane?"
"It is from Charlotte Lucas."
"And how does she fair?"
"According to her accounting, she finds everything from the roads to her poultry to her satisfaction. It is Mr. Collins's opinion of the neighborhood softened."
"I suppose you will have to wait until you see it for yourself to form a proper judgment she invited you to come in March did she not?"
"Yes, Sir William and Maria are going then. I had not thought seriously of joining them but Charlotte seems to be depending on it."
"You ought to go. A change of scene will do you good. I know you are missing Jane and you must wish to meet Lady Catherine deBourgh and view her chimney-piece. I will depend on you for a comprehensive description of that."
"In that, you have a better correspondent in Mr. Collins. I could hardly hope to equal his attention to detail. But a change might be welcome for its own sake."
"There is no telling what adventures might befall a young lady when she travels beyond her own neighborhood."
With that Mr. Bennet returned to his library, not daring to chuckle until he was alone.
(0)
Due to Anne DeBourgh's ill health, Darcy and Georgiana had agreed to come to Rosings Park for the birth of her fledgling. It was only a short flight from London, Georgiana had been given hunting rights and a place was prepared for her to build her nest.[i] Darcy had flown there with her the first couple of times but, given her condition, he did not like to burden her with the additional weight[ii] and since Georgiana always returned to London in the evening there was no reason for him to join her at Rosing until she was ready to confine herself in her nest. In anticipation of the event Darcy had already brought Samuel Moore to London and Colonel Fitzwilliam had been given permission to take leave at a moment's notice. Therefore as soon as Darcy sensed that Georgiana was ready to take to her nest the three of them followed her to Rosings within the hour.
Never had the short distance between London and Rosings felt so long, nor had Darcy ever felt so incredibly tired. He kept nodding off only to be jostled awake by every bump in the road or creak of the chaise.
When they finally came toward the conclusion of their journey Mr. Collins was walking near the cottages and bowed as they rode past.
"Idiotic man," grumbled Darcy once they had gone by. "He has probably been walking there all morning for the honor of bowing to us. "
Fitzwilliam raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to be like this until the baby comes or am I the only one to have the privilege of seeing you so cheerful?"
"When you meet him you will understand."
"You have been in a foul temper for the entire journey."
"I had not realized I was being so disagreeable."
"Are you worried about Georgiana?"
"No. I mean yes, of course, I worry for her, but it is not just that. Georgiana is exhausted and I am tired as a result. You cannot comprehend how tired. Whether it will last until the birth I do not know. I never know from day to day, or indeed moment to moment what humor I will be in. Last week I nearly shouted at Wilkes simply for asking me which style I wanted my cravat and then the next day I was upset that he did not ask. I cannot trust myself to attend the theater lest anything in the play might move me to tears, and heaven forbid I read a touching piece of poetry."
"I did not know it was so difficult."
"Of course you wouldn't. Your father and brother are bonded to males. Their part in producing an offspring is over in less than twenty minutes, nothing more than bread-and-butter-off-you-flutter[iii]. For the female…" Darcy stopped talking, realizing his cousin was laughing too hard to hear what else he might say and glowered at the Colonel instead.
Fitzwilliam struggled to get himself under control, "I am sorry Darcy but if you could hear yourself… do keep all this in mind when you marry. Your wife may feel much as you do now, except for the off-you-flutter."
"If you bond with a female Griffin yourself you will not be so amused."
At this, Fitzwilliam sobered and said with an earnest expression, "Do you think I have a chance?"
"As much a chance as the other two who will be present."
"My father paid you so little for the privilege. I thought perhaps you did not feel it fair to charge him."
"I would not have allowed you to come for any price if I did not feel you had a chance."
"And if I do bond, you will not be disappointed?"
"Why would I be?"
"Pemberley and Rosings united would be a great estate indeed. It is a lot to give up."
"I cannot give up what I never had."
"And you are determined not to marry Anne if she does not bond?"
"I am determined not to marry her if her health does not improve."
"Is it possible that she could bond and remain ill?"
"I do not know."
"If she does. What then?"
"Then things will remain as they are except she will be bonded. Ideally, Georgiana and I would stay until the fledgling is weaned at least, preferably much longer, but of course, her Ladyship would be quite put out. I might need an alternate plan.
"She will be angrier still if I bond, and if it should be Samuael, he may feel you used him ill to put him in the path of her wrath."
"If necessary I will protect him."
The Colonel made no reply and Darcy sat contemplating what had been said. Given his cousin's poor health, it would be reprehensible not to hope she would be the one to bond. Darcy would certainly not wish for her to stay ill. He understood his obligation to his family; his responsibility to future generations. He knew, he had always known, what was expected of him.
And yet, despite all this, he had spoken truly when he said he would not be disappointed if one of the others bonded.
As the carriage pulled up in front of the house Fitzwilliam muttered, "Bread and butter off you flutter" and chucked quietly to himself.
(o)
Darcy barely took the time to greet his aunt before going to tend to Georgiana. Once she had eaten Georgina extended a wing, Darcy snuggled beneath it and fell into a deep sleep. He woke late the next morning in a less irritable mood but still feeling groggy enough that it was hard to keep his eyes open while Mr. Collins, who had come to Rosings to pay his respects, droned on. He forced his mind back to the conversation as Mr. Collins continued with whatever he had been saying about his congratulations "…In which I am joined by my dear, Mrs. Collins, her sister Miss Lucas, and my own cousin Miss Bennet, both of whom honor us with their visit to our humble abode."
Miss Bennet was here? He had sometimes thought, it would be inevitable, with Bingley married to her older sister, that he would see her again, she did come to his mind from time to time, though it must be out of habit, but here? And, why should he mind if she was? She would no longer affect him as she had when Georgiana was in heat. She was staying at the Parsonage. He would probably not even see her except in church unless his aunt were to invite them all to tea. Perhaps he should suggest that visitors at this time would be a bad idea. What was he thinking, he had no need to avoid Miss Bennet now that her power over him was done with, and even if she did come he was likely to be busy with Georgiana, not because he wished to avoid Miss Bennet simply…
His train of thought was interrupted by Colonel Fitzwilliam saying, "No time like the present. Aye, Darcy?"
"Excuse me, I was momentarily distracted, no time like the present for what?"
"To pay our visit to the bride, and meet the other ladies, or rather I can meet them and you can renew your acquaintance."
This was why it was dangerous to be inattentive around Fitzwilliam, he was worse than Bingley for wanting to socialize. But, Darcy would have to pay the visit sooner or later, he might as well get it over with. Maybe the walk to the parsonage would do him good.
(o)
Despite the dubious honor of dining twice a week with Lady Catherine, Elizabeth's first two weeks in Kent were spent more or less agreeably. Mr. Collins spent much of the first week driving his father-in-law out in his gig, and even after Sir William left the country Mr. Collins was often in his garden, his book room, or walking to Rosings to pay his respects, though Charlotte usually joined him for the last. There were half hours of pleasant conversations with Charlotte and, the weather was so fine for the time of year, that Elizabeth often had great enjoyment out of doors.
Lady Catherine had informed them on their first Evening at Rosings, that Georgiana came almost every day to hunt and work on her nest and that her nephew would be joining his bonded when she went into her confinement. Elizabeth had hoped to visit with Georgiana before Mr. Darcy arrived but, to her disappointment, while she sometimes saw the griffin flying in the distance, she was never close enough to hail[iv]. Now Georgiana was in her nest and Mr. Darcy had arrived at Rosings along with his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, the younger son of the Earl of -. Mr. Collins had gone to Rosings the morning after their arrival and when he returned the gentlemen were with him. The Colonel, who led the way, entered quickly into agreeable conversation but Mr. Darcy merely paid his compliments to Mrs. Collins with his usual reserve, met Elizabeth with the appearance of perfect composure, and sat for some time yawning and looking like he was about to nod off, until Elizabeth could not resist saying with an impish smile, "I hope, Mr. Darcy, that we are not keeping you awake."
"Please forgive me. Since Georgiana has entered her confinement I have been quite tired."
"How is Georgiana?"
"Aside from being tired, she is well. I will tell her you were asking after her. If you are still in the area after the birth I am sure she would be glad of a visit."
Of course, he would not take the chance of allowing her to visit before the birth. It was nothing other than what Elizabeth expected but she felt a stab of disappointment all the same.
"Perhaps we ought to have delayed our visit," said Colonel Fitzwilliam, "Until Darcy had a nap, but then there would be the risk of his being even more tired when he wakes up and at least just now he is in a pleasant mood. Compared to yesterday he is absolutely jovial."
Charlotte assured the gentleman how glad they all were of the visit and that, considering the circumstances, there could be no offense from Mr. Darcy's yawns. Mr. Collins echoed his wife's sentiments with a great deal more verbiage until even Colonel Fitzwilliam looked as if he might nod off. In order to turn the conversation and to see if Mr. Darcy would betray anything of his attempted interference in her sister's happiness Elizabeth addressed Mr. Darcy again saying, "Have you heard anything from your friend, Mr. Bingley since he has been in Bath?"
"Not a line, but that is to be expected, even a more diligent correspondent than Bingley is likely to neglect his friends when he is on his wedding trip."
"True, and it is all the more likely in such a case as this where there is a strong affection on both sides."
"I understand Miss Bingley has heard from your sister."[v]
"Mr. Bingley may forget his friends but he does not forget his bonded. There are times when he is busy with Eleos, giving my sister plenty of time to write."
Turning her attention to Colonel Fitzwilliam, she said, "My sister Jane is lately married to Mr. Darcy's friend."
"Mr. Bingley is a lucky man to marry as he wishes so early in life. How is your sister enjoying Bath?"
"Very much indeed the place and the people they have met are all agreeable to her. But that is always the way with her and I therefore have no more idea of Bath than if she did not write to me at all."
"She and Bingley are well matched then. Do they plan to settle at Netherfield? I think he mentioned having a short lease."
"I do not know that they have decided anything long-term. Perhaps Mr. Bingley is waiting for your cousin to give him his opinion."
Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed. "Do not let your new brother fool you, Miss Bennet. He does not defer to Darcy half so often as he allows Darcy to believe he does."
Having drawn a laugh from Elizabeth the Colonel had the good breading to remember Maria Lucas was in the room and directed his next comment toward her. Not long after this, the gentlemen took their leave.
(o)
"You are not wrong," said Colonel Fitzwilliam as he and Darcy returned to Rosings, "about Mr. Collins, but we must consider ourselves in his dept for bringing the Ladies."
"I will agree to no such thing."
"Mrs. Collins's pretty friend will certainly make the time pass more agreeably while we are here."
"Do you find Miss Bennet pretty?"
"Do you not? Good God man, you are not going to tell me that bonding with a female griffin keeps you from knowing a pretty woman when you see one!"
"Of course not."
"If her sister is half so handsome, Bingley is fortunate indeed."
"Many find her more beautiful, that is always said of the eldest and in this case, there is some justification. By conventional definitions, Mrs. Bingley is very pretty, but her eyes are not so dark nor so expressive as Miss Bennet's. Her figure is more symmetrical but not so light and pleasing and she does not have the easy playfulness of her sister's manners. She is not her equal in liveness of mind or sharpness of wit."
"Well, do let me know your opinion once you have made a thorough study of her."
Darcy made no reply.
"I was surprised to learn," his cousin continued, "that she is Mrs. Bingley's sister. Did you not say there were objections to her family?"
"The mother and younger sisters do not have the decorum of the two eldest. Bingley himself agreed it was not a desirable connection but he was too in love to let this dissuade him."
"Well, he can always move further away."
"If you are thinking of Miss Bennet for yourself you should know she has no dowry to speak of. You may wish to be careful not to raise her expectations."
"I only said she was pretty, Darcy, there is no reason to be warning me away from her."
But from the annoyance in his cousin's voice, Darcy rather thought there was. So his cousin found her attractive. Interesting. He had been so sure it was only Georgiana being in heat that had made her attractive to him. He had looked at her without admiration when they first met, surely there was some basis for his opinion. It was unaccountable that he could not assure himself of his indifference to her. If anything she should be less attractive to him than ever, or at least less engaging, every little thing seemed to annoy him but when she spoke he found it as bewitching as he had at Netherfield. It was unaccountable.
Colonel Fitzwilliam continued, "I could just as easily warn you to be on your guard. You never speak of Anne's eyes."
"I am well aware of my duty to my parent's wishes as well as to future generations."
"And what of your duty to yourself?"
"It is the same thing."
"Is it?"
"Of course."
"Well then. There is nothing to worry about. You have your duty and I am well aware I can not marry without some attention to money. We are both of us safe from Miss Bennet's fine eyes."
"Yes."
"Of course, if I were to bond it would change everything."
"Not as much as all that."
"No, I suppose not, but it need not keep us from enjoying her company for a few weeks."
"I am sure I will be too busy, with Georgiana. Now that the required visit is paid, I expect to see Miss Bennet only in church."
"Whereas I will have nothing much to occupy me. I will visit the parsonage alone if you do not wish to come."
"As you please."
"So you have no objection?"
"Why would I?"
"Why indeed?"
Darcy did not deign to reply. Let his cousin amuse himself as he would. It could hardly matter to him. Miss Bennet might be attractive but the liveliness of her mind could not hold the power over him she had before. He would simply get on with things and soon her attraction would fade.
i While Griffins normally like to stay in high places, they build a nest in a well-protected place to give birth. A human bonded with a Griffin will often make a barn available for the Griffin's use. While they might also provide the Griffin with materials, the Griffin would build her own nest.
ii Darcy is being overly cautious here. A pregnant Griffin would be able to do everything she always did until the weeks directly preceding the birth when she retreats into her nest. At this point, her bonded would need to feed her. It is likely that before Griffins started bonding with humans another Griffin would provide food. Whether this would have been done by the mate or another female Griffin is unknown.
iii "Bread and butter" was Regency slang for sexual intercourse but there is no record of "Bread and butter off you flutter being a common expression. It seems likely Darcy made this up.
iv At this time Georgiana was keeping her distance from people in general and did not know Elizabeth was in the area. When she learned of it later she was sorry to have missed the opportunity of renewing the acquaintance.
v This would imply Darcy has spoken to Miss Bingley in Mr. Bingley's absence, this is likely because they have both been in London where they have other acquaintances in common. It should not be taken to mean Darcy doesn't have any other friends.
A/N:
Thank you again for reading and for the reviews, and thank you again, and again to those of you who have been so patient and are still with me.