Chapter 10
Uijeongbu Korea; November 18th, 1951
"Alright everybody settle down! I'm officially calling our monthly senior staff meeting to order!" said Colonel Potter. "Now to start us off, does any member of staff have an issue they wish to bring to the floor?"
"Yeah I do! It's too cold, I think we should all be allowed to go home." Hawkeye said.
"You're from Maine genius, it's just as cold there if not colder." B.J. pointed out.
"Yeah but there I can curl up by the fireplace with my favorite book, my favorite blanket, and a cup of hot cocoa while I watch the Brewster kids playing in the last of the fallen leaves, or the first snow of the season. Depends on the year."
"You live in an actual Norman Rockwell painting don't you?" Ellie Marie said.
"Please…." Hawkeye responded, "Norman Rockwell wishes he had our quaintness."
"Colonel, can we please get back to the matter at hand?" Margaret said impatiently.
"Absolutely." The colonel agreed, nodding in her direction and ceding the floor to her.
"Now as Captain Pierce has just pointed out in his own roundabout way. We're headed into our coldest months of the year. We learned a lot in our first winter here in Korea and we need to make sure we implement what we learned this year. Firstly, blankets will need to be guarded like gold, they're our first line of defense when it comes to protecting the patients from the elements. Secondly, make sure to wear proper attire for the weather at all times . Pierce almost lost a toe last year due to a defective pair of boots with a hole in the bottom."
"You say that like I was intentionally neglecting my well being by not caring about the state of my shoes. I moved heaven and earth to try to get those boots replaced!" Hawkeye said.
"Be that as it may, we all need to make sure we're better prepared this year." Margaret finished.
"Fine idea Margaret." The colonel agreed, "Alright with you if we put Captain Lennox on the job of making sure that all our winter supplies are properly cataloged?"
"Excellent idea Colonel." Margaret agreed.
"See what happens when you're second in command, they stick you with all the grunt work. I tried to warn you." Hawkeye muttered to her.
"When has Potter ever stuck you with any grunt work?" Ellie Marie retorted.
"He hasn't. But I'm terrible at my job."
"So does that sound fine to you Ellie Marie ?" The Colonel said, addressing her.
"Absolutely sir." She agreed.
"Good, on to our next order of business. Colonel Wheatley over at the 8063rd would still very much like to get his doctors trained in our new arterial transplant technique. He's called me twice asking when we might be able to take another stab at getting one of you doctors up to their camp to demonstrate. It's looking like they're going to get a mess of wounded coming in from hill 43 in the next few days and he was hoping we could send someone there way tomorrow morning. It seems by my estimation, our head nurse and chief surgeon have rather fulfilled their quota for harrowing missions so we're going to need a few volunteers."
"I'll go." Ellie Marie said immediately, "I'm second in command to Margaret so it really should be me anyway. Besides, I'm the only nurse who's assisted in that surgery almost as much as she has."
"I'm perfectly capable of going myself." Margaret grumbled.
"No one's saying you aren't." said Ellie Marie, "but that's part of the reason why the army put me here right? So it doesn't always have to be you."
"Well I'd be happy to accompany her Colonel," said B.J. "but when it comes to demonstrating arterial transplants I'm not too proud to say if it's not gonna be Hawkeye…."
"It should be me…." Charles finished with a sigh, "Yes Hunicutt, thank you for acknowledging that as far as surgery instruction is concerned I am by far the most qualified candidate. I'm not entirely sure why it wasn't me in the first place."
"It's amazing how he can make volunteering for a potentially dangerous mission into an opportunity for pompous grandstanding." Hawkeye said.
"It's a unique talent." Ellie Marie agreed.
"Alright, so it's settled. Tomorrow at 0800 hours Major Winchester and Captain Lennox will be departing for the 8063rd and with any luck, this time we will have no disappearances or unexpected detours."
Hawkeye and Margaret exchanged a quick look but said nothing.
"Oh come on now Colonel you can't say stuff like that. You'll jinx them!" B.J. teased.
"Now if there's no more business that needs to be discussed?" The Colonel said, ignoring B.J. and looking around at the group. "Alright then. Meeting dismissed."
"You can probably get most of the inventory done today if you get started immediately." Margaret said to Ellie Marie as they walked out. She nodded.
"I'll head into the supply room now." She said.
"Oh and Major." She put a hand on her arm, "I hope you weren't angry about what I said in there, I wasn't trying to go over your head.."
"You didn't." Margaret cut across to her gently, "You were completely right. You were assigned here to help more evenly distribute the leadership responsibilities and you've done a wonderful job. I just need to do a better job of yielding control every once in a while." She gave Ellie Marie an encouraging smile.
"Thanks Major." Ellie Marie said, and she headed for the supply room at the back of the office.
————-
"You bum….." Klinger said, about ten minutes later when he wandered into the supply room.
"Good afternoon to you too." She replied, not looking away from the stacks of wool blankets she was counting.
He walked over to the desk that was pushed against the back wall of the room and hopped up to sit on it. It had been two weeks since she'd made her confession to Hawkeye and so far her plan to ignore her newly developing feelings for Klinger had actually been working better than she'd expected it to. While her original theory that ignoring her feelings might make them simply fade away hadn't panned out the way she'd hoped, she'd found if she treated them like an unfortunate inconvenience that needed to be managed, they were something she could deal with. As long as she kept her thoughts in check, she could spend her time with him the way they always had and it almost felt like it was back to normal. That is until he would randomly hit her with a grin that made her heart stop, or the brush of his hand sent her heart skittering. She shook her head, and looked back at the blankets. Focus. That was the key.
"As long as you're gonna sit there griping at me could you at least be helpful and count the matchbooks in that box?" She said to him.
He picked up the small box next to him and began sorting them.
"So why am I a bum?" She asked him.
"Cuz I just heard you're going on that mission to the 8063rd that Major Houlihan and Captain Pierce never made it to." He said.
"Oh, yeah….well somebody's got to. And after what happened to Margaret last time I wasn't gonna make her go out again. I am Assistant Head Nurse you know. They didn't give me the title so I could spend all my time goofing off with you and Radar."
"Yeah I know…." He said glumly, "it's just the movie tomorrow night is The Wizard of Oz again, and who's gonna be Dorothy to my Scarecrow if you're not here? It's no fun to sing it alone."
"Radar will still be here." She pointed out.
"Yeah but he only does the Cowardly Lion part."
"I think you'll survive one showing without me…." She said.
"Yeah…I guess. I was just really looking forward to getting my mind off stuff for a while….."
"What kinda stuff?" She asked. He looked up at her, and she could see the worry and uncertainty on his face.
"Laverne hasn't written me in over a month." He admitted, "I'm kinda going crazy."
"Awww….Max." She said, moving to sit next to him, "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. You know the mail gets held up all the time. Heck we haven't had a mail truck from Seoul in over two weeks now and you know there's about thirty other spots a letter could get hung up between Toledo and here, and that's not even taking into account that maybe things just got busy at home and she missed writing a letter or two."
"Yeah I know all of that. It doesn't help when my brain starts running circles in the middle of the night."
"Well you called for your anniversary a little while ago didn't you? Did things seem off between you then?
"No." He said, "We talked for almost two hours, it was great. Almost felt like I was home again."
"Well there you go…..try not to let yourself get worried. I'm sure when the mail gets here there'll be at least three letters waiting for you.
"Yeah you're probably right.' He said, "There's 400 matchbooks in the box by the way." She looked down at the box in surprise.
"You counted them all that fast?"
"No, I just counted the top layer, then took out the ones in the corner to see how many layers there were. 40 to a layer, 10 layers, that's 400."
"Wow." She said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"What? You think just because everybody thinks I'm an idiot that I can't do simple math?"
"Of course I don't think that. You know I don't." She replied.
"So I heard tell that it's Major Winchester that got roped into going on the 8063rd tour with you." He said, hopping off the desk and grabbing another box marked, 'hats and gloves'.
"Yeah ...lucky me right?" She chuckled.
"I mean, probably better you than anyone else."
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked.
"Oh come on G…..it's obvious. He likes you." Klinger said, shooting her a look.
"He doesn't like me!" She said, feeling both mortified and confused. She couldn't recall a time when Charles had shown anything other than a passing interest in her.
"I don't mean like that…." Klinger amended, "it's just, he's nicer to you than he is to most people. I mean I've seen him have at least a half dozen pleasant interactions with you and that's more than he's had with the rest of the camp combined." She laughed at that.
"It's just because I speak his language."
"Hoity toity blue blood snobbery?"
"Essentially."
They both chuckled.
"No it's just….going to Brown and then preparing to go to Harvard, I've spent a lot of years around his type. I know he doesn't do himself any favors, and he'd never say it outloud, probably kill me if he knew I was saying it to you actually, but it's hard for him here. He doesn't really have anything in common with anyone and I know it can get really lonely for him.
"You amaze me sometimes, you know that?" Klinger said, "no matter how rotten a person acts, you always give them the benefit of the doubt, and try to see the good."
"Well….I'd hope someone would do the same for me, if I ever had the occasion to act rotten."
"You couldn't be rotten if you tried." He said, giving her a playful nudge with his shoulder, and her heart gave an entirely involuntary squeeze in response.
————
"I had a bad thought." She said a little while later as she plopped herself down across from Hawkeye in the mess tent.
"Now we're talking." He said with an impish grin, "how dirty was it, and more importantly was it about me?"
"Alright alright…." He said, when he saw her unamused glare, "obviously not about me, but I'm guessing this has to do with…." He trailed off looking around the crowded mess tent, "shall we take a walk?"
They stood and he emptied the contents of his tray into a garbage bin and placed it on the stack near the end of the chow line. They walked through the doors, and Ellie Marie pulled her coat tighter around her as the crisp breeze caught them. They headed towards the Southern edge of camp and walked down behind the laundry tent towards the dry creek bed.
"So what's this terrible thought you had?" He asked.
"I was talking with Max earlier, and he confided in me that he's worried because he hasn't heard from his wife in a month…" She said, "and of course I told him it's probably just the mail delivery and I'm sure everything's fine."
"But you allowed yourself to imagine how things might be different if a "Dear Maxie" letter found its way to the camp." Hawkeye surmised.
"Ugh! I'm absolute crud!" Ellie Marie groaned, kicking at a rock.
"You absolutely are not." Hawkeye said, shaking his head with slight amusement, "that's the most human thing in the world to think in that moment."
"But it's not what I want! Not really." She said, "As soon as the thought came into my head I was disgusted with myself. How could I even for a millisecond be hopeful about the idea of my best friend getting his heart broken.
"You weren't hoping for him to get his heart broken. You just saw a glimmer of hope that maybe you'd get your chance, and your heart took over. Don't beat yourself up about it."
"Yeah I guess…." She said.
"Seriously Ellie, being the only person who actually knows what's been going on behind the scenes with you, I have to say. You've been nothing but supportive and respectful of Max's relationship and I know what it's cost you over the past few weeks. Give yourself a break every once in a while, believe me you've earned it."
"A break…." She said, "Honestly a break sounds nice. As much as I still love having Max as a part of my life, constantly trying to keep my mind and heart in check twenty four seven is exhausting."
"So maybe going to the 8063rd is a perfect way to decompress." Hawkeye pointed out, "Go! Go be around some different people, and talk about some different things! Get Charles unreasonably drunk and then make sure you take pictures."
She laughed.
"Alright Captain I think I will. And hey, thanks for listening."
"Anytime. And by the way, take it from me…..if you find yourself stranded somehow, don't panic, things get way more complicated when you do."
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce!" She teased, "was that a confession?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about Captain…" He said with a mischievous smirk, before turning and walking quickly back up the hill.
———
"Now as you can see here, it is important to make sure that when you select an artery for the graft you choose a section that is larger than the one you intend to replace." Charles explained as he carefully positioned the new section of artery into the chest cavity, "this leaves room for you to suture around any damaged edges that have been left behind and graft directly onto the intact arterial wall. Once that is done the damage section will, if all goes to plan, fuse itself naturally into the grafted tissue during the healing process. There, now that I have completed the graft, Nurse Lennox will remove the clamp, and if everything is in order the sutures will hold. It is important to note that while I am fully confident in the stability of my work, as a precautionary measure, it is always wise to have the clamp and your suction at the ready just in case there is a weak point that need's reinforced."
Ellie Marie gently removed the clamp from the artery, and they all watched as it quickly refilled with dark red blood, flowing perfectly.
"Excellent work Dr. Winchester, truly excellent." Colonel Wheatley said from his place observing at the end of the table.
"Thank you sir." Charles said, "Always a pleasure to be able to impart our life saving knowledge to others. And I would like to also acknowledge Captain Lennox of course. She is as skilled an assistant as any surgeon could ask for."
"Oh to be sure." The Colonel agreed, "your work is exemplary as well, Captain. The 4077th is fortunate to have you both as part of their team."
—--
"Man that was something to watch wasn't it?" said a tall blond nurse that Ellie hadn't been introduced to, while they were all getting changed in the scrub room.
"Sure was," A second nurse with dark curly hair said, "I've never seen a doctor with that level of precision."
"Did you see the look on Hansons face?" The blond said with a giggle, "he's not used to anyone showing him up. I'm Sherrie by the way" She said leaning around the second girl and holding out her hand to Ellie Marie who shook it, "and this is Beth. You were great in there!"
"I'm Ellie Marie ," She said, "and thanks! I don't really deserve that much credit though. He does all the hard work."
"Are you kidding me? I have no clue how you keep your calm working with someone like that. I'd be a nervous wreck that I'd mess something up. Hand him the wrong instrument or something." said Beth.
"I mean it happens. We all make mistakes, even him. It's not like he's perfect."
"He seems pretty damn perfect." Sherrie said, pulling a sweater over her t shirt, "So tall….and commanding, and that accent. What is that?"
"Boston." Ellie Marie said.
"Ooo a Harvard man I'm guessing?" Beth asked, and they both started laughing again when Ellie Marie nodded.
"Dr. Hanson? The doctor we mentioned earlier? He went to Yale." Sherrie explained.
"And he never lets us hear the end of it." Beth added, "this should be an entertaining evening."
"So tell me Ellie Marie …." said Sherrie as they all walked out of the scrub room and down towards the little bar that was located near the edge of the camp, "are all the doctors at the 4077th as handsome as him? Because if they are, I think I'm putting in for a transfer."
"I don't know….I've never really thought about it…." Ellie Marie said with a laugh, "they are very tall for the most part though……he's the tallest but only by an inch or two. The only man of shorter stature in our Colonel and he makes up for it with his commanding presence."
"The only commanding presence our Colonel has is when he calls home to argue with his wife about the credit card bills." Beth said, "but we love him all the same."
"Now keep an eye out." Sherrie said as they entered the bar, "You got a quick look at our surgeons in O.R., but down here is where their true colors come out. We already told you about Willie Hanson, our resident Ivy Leaguer. He's the short one with the beard that looks like he should be wearing a tweed overcoat at all times."
"But don't call him Willie to his face!" Beth warned, "that's our little joke. It's William." She emphasized the name with a snotty accent, and Ellie Marie laughed.
"Then there's Dr. Martin, Teddy. He's kinda quiet but he's brilliant. You ever wanna feel bad about how much you know, get in a debate with him." Sherrie said.
"The Colonel you already met when you got here, and that brings us to the man of the hour. Roy Dupree." Beth said, "if you couldn't tell by the tenor of his lovely voice in the O.R. Roy is our resident cowboy."
"And if he doesn't make a pass at you before the first round of drinks hits the table it will be a camp record." Sherrie added.
They walked into the bar which was slightly larger than Rosie's and Beth and Sherrie headed directly for a table in the back right corner where several people were already seated. There was a taller thinner man with sandy blond hair and wire rimmed glasses in the back corner. Across from him sat a nurse with ample curves and vivid red curly hair. Next to her was a stocky man with a bushy brown beard and a taller, wider man in a ten gallon hat.
"There you little fillies are! I was startin' to think you came to your senses and were gonna keep this pretty young thing away from me." The man in the cowboy hat said. He stood up, took Ellie Marie 's hand in both of his and kissed it.
"Name's Roy Dupree, and it sure is nice to make your acquaintance darlin'" He said, tipping his hat and winking.
"How long was that?" Sherrie murmured.
"About ten seconds."Beth replied.
"Wow….he's really streamlining his approach." Sherrie replied, and Ellie Marie fought the urge to smile as they sat down.
"So Ellie Marie, this is Captain Teddy Martin, Major William Hanson, you met Roy already and this is Major Judy Parker, our head nurse. Everyone, this is Captain Ellie Marie Lennox from the 4077th."
"Nice to meet you." Ellie Marie said politely.
"I'm going to go get drinks." Beth proclaimed, "Ellie Marie what can we get you. They have pretty much everything here."
"Gin and tonic?" Ellie Marie answered.
"Coming right up." Beth said with a smile as she headed for the bar.
"So forgive my impertinence Miss Lennox but last I'd heard the senior nurse at the 4077th was Major Houlihan." said William Hanson.
"Oh she still is." Ellie Marie said, "I was brought in four months ago to be a sort of second in command to her, a new initiative the Army is trying out."
"I heard they were doing something like that in a few units." Judy Parker said, "How is it working out for you all?"
"There were some growing pains at first, but I think on the whole it's worked out quite well. Major Houlihan is an outstanding nurse and leader, and it's been an honor to work alongside and learn from her."
"How long have you yourself been in the nursing profession?" Teddy Martin asked.
"I'm technically not a nurse professionally." Ellie explained, "I was pre med at Brown University and set to attend medical school, well…..now actually, to become a surgeon. But I deferred to join the war effort."
"Pre med at Brown university, quite impressive." William commented.
"Quite," Teddy agreed, "Especially considering the yearly acceptance of women into the Ivy League is less than 4% and the acceptance into the pre med program less than 1%."
"Yes, I'm very grateful for the education I've received." Ellie Marie said.
"You said you deffered from medical school." Judy commented, "where were you accepted."
"Several places actually." Ellie Marie began, but she was cut off when William, who was facing the door, smiled and motioned to someone who had just walked in.
"Ah it seems your fellow medical compatriot has finally seen fit to join us." He said.
Ellie Marie turned in her seat to see that Charles had just entered. He looked around the room and when he spotted her and the others at the table he came to join them, taking up the seat to her right.
"Charles, very glad to see you made it down to our humble little water hole." William said jovially.
"Yes, I apologize for my late arrival, I've just come from dinner with your Colonel. He certainly does have a plethora of stories about his misadventures in Australia doesn't he?" Judy began to laugh.
"You let Wallie talk your ear off about his time in Sydney? I'm surprised you got out at all! Most people would have been there until Christmas at least."
"Well fortunately I possessed the superior conversation skills needed to extract myself from tales of killer kangaroos." Charles replied with a smile.
"Major! We were hoping to see you!" Beth said brightly as she came back to the table with the drinks, handing Ellie Marie hers.
"Well hope no more my dear lady. Here I sit." Charles replied.
"That really was amazing work you did today." Sherrie said to him, leaning in closer as she spoke, "I suppose that's the kind of work you do all the time in your regular life."
"Well I must say, my regular surgical schedule doesn't usually include arterial grafts, but as a thoracic surgeon, the intricacies of the heart and the complications that can accompany them are, one might say, a specialty of mine."
"Where did you practice medicine before this fun show began Charles?" Judy asked.
"Boston General." He replied.
"Oh Lord….." William said with a sigh, "Please don't tell me I'm drinking with a Harvard man….."
"If you want to be technical about it. He doesn't have a drink yet so you're not." Judy pointed out, "can I get you something Major? I'm headed up for a refill."
"Brandy if they have it, but if not Scotch will suffice, thank you." Charles replied before turning back to Williams.
"Can I take it from your less than enthusiastic reaction that you are also an Ivy League alumnae?" He asked.
"Yale, class of 42" William said.
"Havard, class of 44." Charles replied.
"Well… I suppose I'll try not to hold it against you." William said, and they both chuckled.
"It may surprise you to know that you are outnumbered here Dr. Hanson." Charles continued, "Captain Lennox here is Harvard bound as well, as soon as we are released from this nightmare."
"Oh…..and I was just beginning to like you." William said with a sigh.
Two hours later Ellie Marie and Charles bid the others goodnight and were making their way back up the hill towards the camp. Ellie Marie was feeling lighter than she had in weeks, partially because of the five gin and tonics she'd consumed and partially because of the company. Hawkeye had been right. It was refreshing to spend some time with new faces, and simply push her issues to the background for a little while.
"That turned out to be an unexpectedly pleasant evening." Charles commented as they walked.
"I agree." She said.
" The people here really aren't so bad, even that William. He was surprisingly good company even if he was a Yale man."
"You know I never understood those silly rivalries." She said, "it was one part of the college experience I never really wanted to partake in. Well….except for one time."
"Oh?" Charles said, looking down at her.
"Yes. Ok now you have to understand this wasn't my idea. But I had this friend, his name was Timothy and he was a year ahead of me. He got into Harvard med, and then the next year when we found out I did, he insisted that we needed to do something extra special to celebrate…..so he invited me to go to the Havard Yale game and we……we stole Handsome Dan." She said, referring to the Yale bulldog mascot who always made an appearance at the games.
"You did not!" said Charles, grinning at her slightly sloppily, he'd also had several drinks.
"We did!" She confirmed, "his handler had gotten a bit drunk, so we convinced him we'd been asked to take Dan out to do his business. We only had him for about ten minutes but we put a Harvard sweater on him and took pictures with him and everything."
Charles burst out laughing and had to put a hand on her shoulder for support as he doubled over. She started laughing too and they walked the last few feet to the V.I.P. tent in hysterical giggles. When they reached the door he straightened, taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes.
"I haven't laughed like that in longer than I can remember." He said, still chuckling.
"Well I'm happy I could oblige." Ellie Marie said with a smile.
"Captain……"Charles said, "at the risk of sounding impertinent. A very fine bottle of Chateau Dumont was left for me in the tent. I'd be happy to share it with you, if you're interested."
"Why not." Ellie Marie said with a shrug, "it's still early, and it's been quite awhile since I've had good wine."
They walked into the tent and Charles crossed the room to take two glasses and the bottle of wine from a shelf next to the bed. Ellie Marie sat in one of the two chairs on either side of the small table.
"You know…." Charles said, filling both glasses and handing her one, "I couldn't help thinking tonight that if fate had landed me in this cesspool of a camp, instead of the one we currently occupy, I might have found my banishment almost tolerable."
"Of course you would." Ellie Marie teased, "everyone here worships the ground you walk on. The doctors think you're a medical marvel and the nurses think you're Cary Grant in a lab coat."
"Oh you noticed that too did you?" He said, taking a sip of his wine and closing his eyes with a self satisfied smirk.
"You're incorrigible, you know that?" She said.
"Oh believe me I do." He said, giving her a teasing grin that she returned.
"You're also drunk." She added.
"How dare you!" He quipped back.
They sat there drinking their wine in silence for a few minutes, but it was comfortable, almost peaceful.
"Charles….." she asked eventually, "Why do you never show this side of yourself? When we're back home I mean."
"That place, is not home." He said dryly.
"Ok fair enough." She agreed, "but I see you here and you are charming, gracious, funny, even self deprecating but back at camp, they don't ever get to see this side of you, it feels like a waste."
"The people in that camp do not care to see me this way. They don't care to see me at all. They find my humor condescending, they find my interests dry and tiresome. In short, why would I open myself up to a group of people from which I know I will only receive ridicule?"
"You know you give as good as you get as far as that's concerned." She pointed out. He sat up and sighed, leaning his elbows on the table.
"While I can't pretend that isn't somewhat true, do you know what truly boggles and infuriates me? Pierce is every bit as condescending, as arrogant and as egotistical as I am on any given day, but his systematic disrespect and disregard for me and others is not only permitted, but often lauded because his delivery is one that appeals to the masses."
"Huh….." Ellie Marie said, letting his words sink in, "you're right."
"I know I am." He grumbled, "fat lot of good it does me. The fact of the matter is that in the 4077th Hawkeye Pierce is the hero, and I am the villain. And I have no interest in expending my energy in an attempt to change something that will never be changed."
"I've never thought of you as a villain." Ellie Marie pointed out. He smiled.
"And that is precisely why I do my best not to spew any vitriol in your direction."
"I understand you know." Ellie Marie said, "how it feels to have to wake up everyday knowing that you hate the way things are, but also knowing there's nothing you can do to change them."
"I wasn't aware that your position in our little corner of purgatory was in any way unsuitable to you. You seem quite happy with your merry band of misfits."
"I am, for the most part." She agreed, "But that doesn't mean I don't have problems. You say you wish you could change how others see you? Well, I wish more than anything I could change the way I see one person."
"By the way you see them…I take it you mean…" Charles questioned.
"Romantically." Ellie Marie clarified with a sigh.
"Oh…." Charles said, "I see…..we'll I can imagine how that would be…..challenging."
She gave a small sort of laughter.
"You do have a way with words Charles."
"May I ask who…"
"No you may not." She replied immediately.
"Fair enough." He said, "but I will say….whoever he is. He's an absolute imbecile."
"No…." She said with another sigh, "he's not. That's what makes it all the harder."
"It's just so exhausting you know?" She continued, "just trying to get through it all."
"Believe me I do." He agreed, "I feel like, if I could just have one day. Just a few hours even, to be somewhere other than here, to be myself and forget this hell, that maybe I could be alright."
"Yes." Ellie Marie said, "I know exactly what you mean."
"Well…." He said refilling his wine glass and then hers, "if nothing else, I am happy to know that I will return to the 4077th with the knowledge there is at least one person with whom I can commiserate."
"To comrades is misery." Ellie Marie said, tipping her glass towards his.
"May we live to fight another day." He agreed clinking his glass to hers as they both took a sip.
They went back to their comfortable quiet drinking when suddenly a thought occurred to Ellie Marie. She stifled a laugh but the more she imagined it the funnier it got and after a moment she was shaking with silent laughter.
"What on earth?" Charles asked, beginning to laugh along with her but obviously confused.
"I was just thinking…." She giggled. "About how much they would hate Hawkeye here. He would have no idea what to do with himself in a place where no one found him funny."
Charles gave a snort of amusement that grew into a full on laugh as he, like her, pictured the scenario.
"Ah…..Ellie Marie …." He said leaning his head back and closing his eyes as if savoring the vision, "thank you for that mental image. I am going to file it away for the next time he is being particularly insufferable."
"Happy to help." She said, and he opened his eyes to give her an affectionate smile.
Ellie Marie held his gaze as she slowly put her glass on the table. She shifted her weight onto her arms and leaned across the small table towards him. His expression was questioning but he didn't pull away as she pressed her lips to his. The kiss was soft and brief, he pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Forgetting this hell for a little bit." She answered.
He searched her face for a moment, looking for any sign of hesitancy or doubt. Then he placed a hand on the side of her neck and pulled her back in kissing her harder. They stood in unison and she stepped towards him allowing him to wrap her in his arms as he kissed her.
"Are you absolutely sure?" He whispered against her neck as he trailed kisses down to her collarbone.
"Charles…" She said, pulling his mouth back to hers, "shut up and kiss me."
The next morning Ellie Marie lay in her cot in the nurses tent staring at the ceiling, trying to convince herself that the previous night's events had actually taken place. It all felt like some sort of wild fever dream. She'd found her way back to her own bed around 1 o'clock in the morning. At the time she could admit she'd been feeling nothing but peaceful and satisfied. All the tension and worries that had been plaguing her for weeks had been systematically melted away and she'd gotten the best sleep she'd had since coming to Korea. Yet now, in the cold light of day with her very sober mind, her problems were back and she was afraid she may have compounded them even further. It wasn't that she regretted what she and Charles had done, they were both consenting adults and it had been a truly enjoyable evening, but she couldn't help but wonder what it could mean going forward. Would Charles expect something more from her? He couldn't. She'd been pretty clear that her feelings lay elsewhere just minutes before things had started. But what if he did? How could she tell him that she had…..what? Used him for comfort? It sounded absolutely deplorable, but she knew it was the truth. What if he told someone, or it got out somehow? The idea of Max finding out about it made her want to curl up in a ball and die on the spot.
After another minute or two of lying there in her own misery, she finally got up. She got dressed and packed the rest of her things, seeing as they were planning on leaving after breakfast. She made her way over to their mess tent and found Charles sitting with Sherrie and Beth. Her stomach gave an uncomfortable jolt, and she didn't trust its capacity to hold down food at the moment so she simply grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to the table.
"There she is!" Beth said brightly, "we thought we might not get a chance to see you before we had to head up to our shift in Post Op."
"Well, here I am." Ellie Marie said in what she hoped was a normal and cheerful tone.
"We were just telling the Major here, that you two are welcome back anytime you'd like." Sherrie said with a grin, "we'd be happy to trade a couple of ours for a couple of yours. Maybe Roy for you Charles, if you're interested." She gave him a wink.
"Oh I think the 4077th has quite enough yolkals to contend with, without adding Good Old Roy, into the mix." He said with a smile.
"Well…..if either of you ever change your mind. You know where to find us." Beth said, "have a safe trip back!"
"Thanks," said Ellie Marie , "and thanks again for everything."
"Anytime." She said, and the two nurses waved their goodbyes and headed for Post Op, leaving Ellie Marie alone with Charles.
"Good morning Charles." She said formally.
"Morning…" He said, shooting her an amused glance.
She took a sip of her coffee, unsure of how to even begin the conversation. They kept shooting each other furtive glances until finally Charles gave a small burst of laughter and shook his head.
"I'm sorry." He said, still chuckling slightly, "you just look so damn guilty. Like a cat that swallowed the canary. It's really not as serious as all that is it?"
Relief washed through her instantly and she allowed herself to exhale, not having even realized she was holding her breath. She smiled at him.
"No." She agreed, "it definitely isn't."
"Look." He said, reaching across the table and taking her hand, "we were sad, we were lonely, and we were….more than a little drunk." She giggled and nodded. "Last night we needed to feel a little less alone, and we gave that to each other. It needn't be more than that, and as far as I'm concerned, what happened last evening never has to leave this camp."
"Thank you Charles." Ellie Marie said, giving his hand a squeeze.
"Besides." He said, sitting back and sipping his coffee, "if we go back to camp acting suspicious people are going to start to think every nurse doctor team who gets sent to the 8063rd ends up sleeping together." Ellie Marie shot him a surprised look, and then grinned.
"Right??" She agreed excitedly, "I've been saying it since the other two got back! They totally did."
"Oh it was painfully obvious." He said with a smirk.
"Well….thankfully we are much more mature and evolved adults, who do not feel the need to parade our business around the camp."
"Indeed." He said, tipping his coffee mug to her.
They arrived back at the 4077th around mid afternoon and were greeted by the majority of the senior staff along with a few others.
"Good to see you made it back safe." Colonel Potter said, walking up to the jeep.
"Colonel, I can honestly say, I am happy to be back." Charles responded, "and that's as depressing a thought as I've had in awhile."
Ellie Marie hopped out of the jeep and immediately into Klinger's waiting arms. She hugged him tightly, and for the first time in a while she felt like she didn't want to let go. She'd missed him more than she'd let herself acknowledge.
"Good to have you back in one piece G." He said.
"Good to be back." She said, "how was the Wizard of Oz?"
"We didn't watch it. HQ got the reels mixed up and sent us Abbott and Costello meet Dracula instead."
"Oh damn….I love that one." She said.
"You're in luck, Colonel Potter said we could do a second screening tonight."
"Yes!" She exclaimed happily, "say I'm starving. Walk a girl over to the mess tent for some solidly mediocre lunch?"
"You got it!" He replied, throwing an arm around her shoulders.
"Hey Captain!" Hawkeye called from the other side of the jeep, "how'd your little break from reality work out?"
Ellie Marie caught Charles' eye briefly from where he stood just behind Hawkeye and he gave her the hint of a smile.
"It was actually pretty perfect." She said.