🌸Cherry Blossom Palette🎨
🌸Chapter 32: Raw, Unfiltered Gyaru Power, or "Anything Goes in the Locker Room!"🎨
Written by EmtenDew
Edited by P. serrulata
Author's note:
PS: It's usually me giving EDew ideas and knowledge about the inner-workings of a young man, but this chapter was pretty much all her as far as "inner-workings" go. Today, we get to venture into the wacky and whimsical world of what young women now and then endeavor in the throes of combatting their own bodies and minds.
Too often do anime and manga creators rely on overtly risqué material and tedious fanservice to reach the audience. It's lowest common denominator drivel!
Sometimes the best ways to illustrate amativeness utilize more creative routes.
What I mean is that the funniest and most unpolished things in teenage life happen in the locker-room. You're in for some "locker-room talk" from the female perspective. The best kind of raunchy humor is the kind you don't have to go out of the way to show.
Consider it a learning experience if you're unversed. I have three younger sisters, and I kinda took care of them all (and my younger brother, ahead of them in age), my dad managing the farm and my mom teaching during the week in another city, so I've heard, seen, and have done some shit I don't exactly enjoy recollecting. I didn't have the best time when they became teenagers, lemme tell ya! Thankfully, they could mostly take care of themselves and each other at that point.
ED: In solidarity with my editor, yes, we girls sometimes talk like what you're about to read. Maybe it'll teach Naoto to mind his own business~. When girls don't have guys around to impress (or when we think we're safe or don't care about offending other girls), we'll say anything and can behave like complete slobs.
I ran and played volleyball and tennis in high school, and things got pretty gross behind closed doors. Things could get pretty bad in more public places too.
There's also some "feels".
The dub stinks.
Ask us anything, and we'll add a Q&A section in the next chapter. I would be happy if you ask questions.
Please enjoy what I wrote.
Thursday, July 11, 2018
Naoto Hachioji was in a productive mood that morning. A good night's sleep following a pleasant evening had lit a fire under him, and he'd be making it to school before 7:00 a.m., hoping to get an hour of studying in, tucked away in the art room.
The previous night's homemade pan of paella had been a treat for his parents as well as himself, making for a fine dinner. Yes, it had taken a good hour for Naoto to make—even with the ingredients set up—but it had been worth it. He'd somewhat reluctantly taken a day off from studying with Sakura Inori and Hana Sunomiya for the occasion, but a change of pace didn't hurt, and he was loath to miss a chance to sit and eat with both of his parents.
A calming shower was followed by running through some English notes, and his lights were out by 9:30 p.m.
Man, had he slept well!
Flexing his shoulder and rotating his arm, he was rewarded by a few pleasant cracks as he continued to work the stiffness out of his body. That's how hard he slept.
After dawn, much of the city was still under shadow, though that wouldn't last long, the Sun rising higher and higher in the east.
But the air smelled clean, the birds chirped happily, and a gentle breeze waywardly tousled his mess of hair, which didn't cause him much bother, rarely passing a comb through it anyhow.
Things weren't perfect, and a few things gave him pause, but he'd made a decision those few things wouldn't rule him.
He intended to keep his eye on the prize!
Despite that, these things weighed on him, though not all of them were so negative.
Aside from his looming final exams, obtaining his driver's license, entrance exams, getting into his college of choice (when he made one), and the other things most 18-year-olds worried about, there were a few, more personal apprehensions riding his mental coattails.
The day before, Maki Gamou and Yoshi Yamazaki had caught up with him on his way home, and after giving him some initial shit, they had a mostly nice chat until Yoshi cut out to visit the grocery store. That had left him alone with the formidable Gamo-chan.
Their time together had been revealing of the other to each of them, to say the least.
Naoto could reexamine the details, but that would take up time and space. In abbreviation, Gamo-chan had once again disproven the false concept that she was just an unsophisticated brute, and he'd shown a couple "weaknesses" of his own.
Yeah…
And his Nagatorial plight was still there! He'd tried so hard to push Nagatoro and his uncertainties surrounding her from his active mind that these only came up when provoked, but they were never gone. He still had to "reach her" and make himself clear about her riding him so hard; he wanted her to ease up a little and respect him. Anything beyond that thinking, he dared not to dive into that bottomless hole just yet.
But…
What weighed the heaviest was the fact that Sunday—maybe Saturday, if they held fast to their schedule—would be the last day he'd get to play cram school with Sakura and Hana. With the supplementary materials he'd supplied finished and their time during finals week better spent resting or on concentrated study in the subjects of the next day's exams, there was no reason for their sessions together to go any further.
Really, they could go no further. They'd be done. They'd have accomplished what they'd all set out to do together.
Naoto knew it was never a permanent arrangement—that it would only last a week-and-a-half—but it positively crushed him to know that it would soon be over. There were no regrets over taking an afternoon off to be with his parents, but it still wasn't easy to have lost a day with the girls. He knew it was selfish, but part of him wanted it to go on and on. He craved more!
In the last few weeks, much had happened:
He'd come to know Sakura in ways he'd never fathomed knowing a girl. And he'd learned much more about Hana, his kohai of four years.
And—
Sakura and Hana had become close friends.
If someone had told him a month earlier that the two girls would come together, showing one another sides them themselves he didn't even know existed, he would've been more than hesitant to just accept that.
Sakura was hurting; she was still hurting, and she'd needed a friend, truly.
Hana… It pained Naoto to say that she'd never had much in the way of friends. He'd never known or seen any. He'd never viewed himself as her friend, much to his regret; he'd only seen her as a kohai, one he respected and had confidence in. He'd also thought she merely viewed him as her senpai. Had he ever been wrong!
The three of them, Naoto, Sakura, and Hana, were friends.
He loved Hana—he did. Whether she was a very part-time sister to him or just a girl he'd without thinking chosen to watch over, he cared about her. He cared about her, and he wanted nothing but the very best for her. Even the shadow of an inkling that someone had it out for her…
There was no way around it:
The inkling came, and it had set him on the warpath. He'd crumbled after the "danger" had subsided, but he'd been too driven, focused, and stupid to care about any consequences up to that point.
And in his foolhardiness, he'd envisioned the other girl, Sakura, to be the one mocking Hana to the eccentric girl's own face. He was looking at it as absolute worst-case scenario, but he'd been thinking it!
Geez, had he been a dumb asshole about that!
Onto the gal, Naoto loved having Sakura around. Getting to know her, it was now difficult to imagine not knowing her.
It occurred to him that he'd been far more intimate with Sakura than Nagatoro in some ways. In many ways, Nagatoro seemed inapproachable to him. He knew a lot of "isolated facts" about her, but in a number of facets, he'd become closer to Sakura in less than a month than he had in a year with Nagatoro.
He felt the same about Gamo-chan. What a couple of enlightening instances he'd had with her!
At this rate, maybe he'd solve the "Yoshi enigma" before completing the border of the "Nagatoro puzzle".
…
It's been a pretty nutzo semester… Naoto mused.
And the semester was about to end. Seven more school days, and summer break would officially start.
…
Damn it, cut it out, Naoto! He cussed himself, that obnoxious tightness in his throat and tear-inducing balminess in his eye-sockets threatening to set him down a path he did not want to be strolling along.
You know how sometimes you just need to cry? It's just gonna happen, and there's nothing you can do to stop it? It's coming out at some point, no matter what you do?
Gamo-chan's words had been playing on repeat in his head for a few days.
Naoto knew it was coming. It was going to happen, and there would be no stopping it. And no matter what he did, there was no escape.
If the Higher Powers showed him mercy, he'd come apart at the seams at a time most convenient for him.
The consolation was that he typically only felt this way when he was alone and unoccupied or when he closed off his perception of the outside, allowing these thoughts to take over.
When he was with Sakura and Hana, he only knew a profound, almost magical… something, and he had—
Yes, he had one, two, three, and maybe four more gatherings with the two. That didn't include Thursday or Friday lunch, so he could call it six, given they did anything besides eat.
Naoto felt certain.
They were going to get through all their materials, they were going to help each other understand all they could, and they were going to go into their final tests confident and well-prepared!
And, certainly, they'd have a few more treats with something nice to wash down all those sweets!
This was no time to shillyshally!
He could do it! His girls could do it! They could do it!
Eyes on the prize!
…
…
…
It wasn't normal for Naoto to wear headphones while he was eating—it didn't feel great on the ears and was counterproductive to consumption—but he'd found an amusing bunch of videos on YouTube, and he wanted to watch them on his phone.
In actuality, he didn't have to watch them; they were recorded snippets with a background image. But the comedian was funny, and he'd been finding the segments to be a hoot, so he listened as he took his sweet, leisurely time with his bento.
He'd made so much paella the night before that his box was overflowing with the Spanish awesomeness!
When the girls had seen his meal, Sakura practically begged to have a bite, ready to exchange her pickled plum and a piece of smoked fish for it, and Hana wasn't indifferent either. He was happy to give them a sample, no tradesies and no strings attached, and he was even more thrilled that they'd enjoyed it. Both asked for the recipe, and considering he found it online, he had no qualms in telling them.
He was presently having a pleasant time, and while he could've talked with the girls, he contented himself with letting them engage in their normal banter.
If he was in an anime or manga, he'd say something stupid like, "This is enough for me, just being with them," and he felt that way, but he was a little more self-aware than some delusional prick pining his life away over the girl he may or may not have the chance of getting.
Naoto just liked it when the girls were having fun with one another, and he wasn't going to intrude.
Anyway, he knew they were joined in girl-talk. He couldn't hear them, but he knew they were at it.
In his more naïve days—not but a couple weeks before—he'd never pictured Hana being a part of such a thing, but she was a girl. And she was a wonderful girl!
Plus, Sakura was beside herself with delight, and he had no desire to potentially change that expression on her pretty face.
…
While the comedian was funny, none of the lines were gut-busting, so Naoto never made it past smiles and silent laughter. That was fine though!
It was only when he heard nothing but the low hum of Sakura and Hana talking that he realized he'd reached the end of the playlist. He knew he could hop over to another list, but he noticed his battery was low. Having forgotten to plug in his phone before bed, it was running on empty.
Shrugging, he figured he'd listen to a little more, at least until he was done eating, and then recharge. There was still quite a lot of time left for lunch-hour, so he could study a little while or join the girls if they weren't still engrossed in whatever it was that they were on about.
Naoto was about to move onto the next playlist when a thought struck him:
He wasn't sure what the two girls talked about when he was metaphorically out of the picture.
He was curious.
The girls were all but whispering, but they were loud enough that he'd be able to make out their words. They were finished eating, and they were positively absorbed in their conversation.
He knew it was wrong—and a little messed up and perverted, especially considering they were his friends—but his curiosity choked out his decency, which didn't happen all that often, and he resolved to listen to them for a few minutes.
Maybe he'd hear something interesting.
And it couldn't be anything too crazy. He was sitting right there!
It was probably better to not know exactly what he was "missing out on", but—
Nah, he'd listen a bit… and then he'd get back to his comedy clips.
It'll be fine! Naoto assured himself; he was still wearing his headphones, and the fetching mademoiselles would be none the wiser.
…
"Were you able to participate in swim class this morning, Sakura-senpai?" Hana asked.
"No." Sakura examined herself in a hand mirror, checking her teeth for unwelcome lunch detritus.
"It's still not over, is it?" Hana figured.
The older girl hummed, "Mm, nope, it finished all up on Tuesday, so I should've been able."
Hana wondered, "Why then? Do you still feel sick?"
Sakura shook her head. "No, I was still feeling kinda crappy yesterday, but to be honest, I was just too lazy to touch up around my bikini line last night. I always get lax about it during 'mensies'. I took one look down there this morning, and I said, 'NOPE! Not putting on the swimsuit today!' I wasn't sporting a 'billiards rack' bush or anything, but it was pretty bad… It was all, like, 'honey badger city' with all the 'chestnutters' coming in… Totally two-tone."
"I don't know why you dye your body hair."
"I dye my eyebrows…" Sakura pipped. "It just kinda bothers me when things don't match."
"…That makes sense," Hana permitted.
"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
"Both, actually."
"Point is, the way our stupid school suits fit, putting it on today wasn't an option."
"That can be a problem." Hana observed. "I've never worn a school swimsuit cut as high as they are here. The ones they made us wear in middle school were very comfortable, and they were cut low too, even covering the hips. There's nothing comfortable about the ones here."
"They do cut in, don't they?" Sakura cringed.
Hana mumbled, "And I've never had to shave so much down there."
…
Oh, shit! Naoto was fumbling with his phone. What was I thinking?!
This had been a mistake, eavesdropping on the girls. He hated himself for his gross, totally fucked up decision, and he'd never do it again!
All he had to do was—
His phone was dead.
Oh, no… He stared at his lifeless gadget. What do I do now?!
…
"I guarantee you, a man (or an evil bitch) selected that as the girls' school swimsuit." Sakura was sure of this. "No decent woman would knowingly subject a bunch of girls to that crap. My itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, tiger-stripey string-bikini covers more skin down there!"
"I'll still take swimming class over anything else." Hana was quite athletic, but she had her share of problems. "I really don't like exercising sometimes. I've never been able to find a sports-bra that really worked for me."
"I know what you mean." Sakura stuck out her chest, critiquing her ample assets. "My biggest problem was my nipples would get all chafed. It wasn't until recently I learned the 'life-hack' of putting Band-Aids over them. It really worked~."
"I do that too, but I have trouble with support mostly…" Hana regarded her own ampler assets. "But Sana-neechan… she sometimes wouldn't even wear a bra. I don't know how she did it."
"I know about that; it wasn't hard to see that she often didn't wear anything." Sakura cringed. "I don't know how she does it either! It sounds like murder on your girls…"
"I've never asked her," Hana admitted. "I'm nervous about doing so."
"You? Nervous about that?"
"Sana-neechan is a 'whole lotta woman', Sakura-senpai."
"That she is… that she is…" Sakura nodded thoughtfully.
"That she is," Hana echoed.
"I tell ya…" the gal recalled. "I was so excited a few years ago when I started jumping up bra sizes, but then I was all, like, 'stop, stop, stop growing!' I thought women with huge honkers were just being ungrateful about it when they complained, but it really does suck sometimes!"
"I do specific exercises to keep my back pain-free," Hana revealed. "I could show you sometime. Sana-neechan showed me."
"I'll bet she needs a whole workout regimen for her back~!" Sakura riffed.
"She showed me that too, Sakura-senpai."
…
Naoto turned this situation over and over in his mind.
What the Hell could he do?!
He had no way to reach an electrical outlet to plug in his phone, and he didn't dare give off the impression that he was doing anything but dicking around on his phone and eating his lunch, the contents of which had been untouched since about the time Sakura referred to her mons Venus as a locality of ratels.
He weighed his options:
He could just stand up and leave "casually"—they'd surely flag him down, asking him where he was going, and he could say he was heading to the library. And he would.
Maybe he could just sit up and "casually" address the girls… come up with some excuse to pipe up. He knew Sakura had the same kind of phone charger as he did, so he could ask for it, despite having his own in his bag. He'd say that he needed to plug in his phone—because it was merely low, not dead—and that would end this.
Additionally, he could…
Hell, he could just panic and do nothing, which is exactly what he did!
In spite of this, he was still morbidly curious, unable to just completely tune it out, and the girls moved on to something else.
…
"I don't like 'pons, but I couldn't deal with the pads," Sakura groused. "Unless I wore them just right, I leaked everywhere."
"I had the same problem," Hana coincided. "I'm okay with tampons, but my biggest thing is that I just can't get them to stay put sometimes."
"That happened to me last month," Sakura disclosed. "In my lit class, the teacher still makes us stand up to read, and it was my row's turn to read out loud. Mine came loose earlier, and it was so uncomfortable. I wasn't sure I'd be able to stand without squirming around like some little kid doing the 'potty dance'."
"What did you do?"
"I used my pencil to poke it back up in there," she said nonchalantly. "I made it with 10 seconds to spare before I had to stand up. Nobody saw."
"I had that happen during a midterm exam this semester. I did the same thing. I wanted to be excused, but we couldn't leave while the test was in progress."
"I had another problem the other day…" Sakura held her chin pensively.
"What was it?"
Sakura almost hesitated. "On Sunday, remember how I was having lunch with Senpai-kun?"
"Yes?"
"When we were sitting around, I noticed that there was this awful pressure up there. It was fun, hanging out, but I was dying for him to leave so I could go and see what was going on."
"Why didn't you just excuse yourself for a few minutes?" Hana couldn't imagine why she wouldn't.
"And risk 'powdering my nose' for a half-hour?!" The gal was horror-struck at the idea of it. "You never just give yourself 'a few minutes' in this kinda situation. To most men, it's bad enough that women even have buttholes to begin with, and I didn't want Senpai-kun thinking I was off taking a 30-minute, IBS lady-crap! I knew I'd be in there for a while, and I was right."
"What happened?" Hana didn't sound terribly fired up, but she really wanted to know!
"After he finally went off to meet his dad to go driving or whatever, I duck-walked into the ladies' room, and I was all, like, freaking out 'cause it really started to feel just plain weird."
"…" Hana listened.
"I didn't wanna tug, but I had to get it started." Sakura's face contorted at the memory, and she had trouble not laughing in discomfort. "The thing was jammed, but I got it to pop out, and there was a huge period clot stuck to it. It looked like a pickled plum."
"That's gross…" Hana stated with the slightest inflection.
"I almost dropped it; I was so shocked~!" the gal squealed in a mixture of glee and revulsion. "I almost screamed! Imagine having to chase that cotton-mouse across the floor~! 'Eek! A mousey~!' Just picture all the girls jumping up off the floor~~! 'Eek! A mousey~!'"
…
Oh, my Gawd! Naoto wanted to die, and he still didn't know how he could possibly get out of this situation.
Upon hearing the "pickled plum" line, he'd pushed away his bento, unable to stand the very sight of food, well remembering his vision of the gal holding out the little stone-fruit in exchange for a bit of his paella.
…
Even after Sakura's obscene tirade, Hana merely alleged, "You're silly, Sakura-senpai."
Sakura had another. "It still wasn't as bad as the time that I pulled one out, and everything just… poured out like a drain unblocking…"
"Did you at least feel better after?" Hana wondered with some concern.
"After which one?" Sakura gave a quizzical look. "The one, like, with the drain coming loose…? Didn't even feel it~."
She'd said it with the coolness of the B-side of the pillow.
"The other one," Hana clarified.
"It was such a relief~," Sakura prattled. "It was like letting loose the most massive queef."
"…?"
"What's up?"
"What's a queef?"
"Are you serious?" Sakura was astonished.
"I usually am." Hana usually was.
"It's a pussy-fart," Sakura elucidated. "Y'know, when you get air up there and push it back out."
"Oh, I see." Hana nodded. "The girl who sits behind me in homeroom calls them 'twat-trumpets'."
Sakura giggled, "That's kinda funny~."
"That reminds me of something else," Hana recalled.
"What?"
"I was at the waterpark last summer, and when I went down the waterslide, it got filled up with water."
Sakura reflected, "I've had that exact same thing happen… and with just normal swimming or being in the tub too. It was never that big a deal. It always came right out as I got out of the water."
"It didn't come out," Hana made known.
"Oh?" Sakura sat up straight. "What did you do?"
"I got back into the pool and pushed it out."
Sakura roared, "No way! That's rotten!"
"I wasn't going to just stand there and drop all of that water onto the cement…" Hana frowned.
The gal laughed even harder.
…
Sakura laughed really loudly! Naoto was saved. Now's my chance!
…
Knowing he was already blushing, he did something he obtusely just realized he could've done immediately.
He coughed. Hard.
Koff! Koff! Koff!
Sakura responded at once. "Senpai-kun?! Are you okay?!"
He convincingly coughed a couple more times and took a drink off the cup of water he had nearby.
"Breathing easier", he knew he'd successfully pulled his nuts out of the fire. "I'm okay, Sakura-san… I just swallowed funny. Sorry about that."
"Do you need something to drink, Hachioji-senpai?" Hana peered around Sakura.
Naoto waggled his water cup. "I've got something, but thanks, Sunomiya. I'll be okay."
"Steadying his breath", he took another sip of water.
Sakura tilted her head. "Well, as long as you're fine."
He waved it off. "Ah, I'm good."
And he was good.
The girls dialogue changed from The Misadventures in Female Anatomy to quizzing one another in science.
Naoto was quick to recover, even finishing his paella. He'd also plugged in his phone, so the illusion was complete, and he'd made it out okay… sort of.
Not long after, the three of them went about their individual days, heading to afternoon classes, to meet up again after school.
Naoto left the clubroom, having learned a valuable lesson that day, swearing he'd never listen in on a session of "girl-talk" again!
Please look forward to the next chapter! Thanks for reading!