🌸Cherry Blossom Palette🎨
🌸Chapter 39: The Pathos of a Gal, Part Three🎨
Written by EmtenDew
Edited by P. serrulata
Author's note:
ED: Again, I'm sorry for having to take a break, but we pretty much got back to where we want to be. I really appreciate the understanding.
Having realized there is indeed something Sakura is holding close to her chest, Naoto sticks with her.
Just keep reading. This all goes somewhere.
A reader commented the story was slogging along too slowly, and I don't completely disagree, but building something takes time, and I'm excited about the first part of the story coming to a close. Things will pick up (and speed up) once summer break for the characters starts.
The same reader also wants the story to become a harem. Not going to happen, pal! More than one girl may or may not decide that Naoto is worthy of her love, but a harem isn't happening.
Also, if I'd known that so many people would be so interested in Sakura guessing the swimsuit by girl ranking, I would've spent half of a chapter on their discussion. I had some ideas I thought would work. But I was afraid it would become tedious and just add another week's worth of wordy chapters to an already long stretch of chapters, and Naoto and Sakura have already been hanging out in the park for two months in our time. I only meant for it to be a transitional segment. I can think of an opportunity down the road in the story where I can recycle it though.
In canon, Nagatoro has no right to mope or be upset over Naoto not "getting it". You can't treat a guy like you want him to kill himself and expect for him to pick up on your other mixed signals or do exactly what you want him to do. She's the one holding the relationship back, and she hates herself a lot more than Naoto hates himself.
For the women out there: be honest with men; they hate games and mixed signals, and I don't blame them. Flirty banter is one thing, but when there's a lack of mutual respect and give-and-take, it's toxic. I'm a 181 cm tall girl otaku, and even I know that. I look like Saori "Bajina" Makishima from Oreimo, if you've seen that series, except I'm a blonde… and American. I've had offers and think making extra money modeling would be nice, but some of my church leaders view modeling akin to prostitution or pornography, so I'm stuck crunching numbers for building projects I never get to actually see in person.
It also helps to know when you're one of only two girls out of nine kids. The sixth oldest. Nine kids. Yikes. I know plenty about what makes young men tick.
And I stand by the idea that if the girls didn't care about art and wanted to visit tourist traps, they could've joined another group instead of trying to ruin the art tour, causing all that trouble in the first place.
In other news, my editor turned me on to South Park about two months ago after suggesting the "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society" line that was added in the most recent chapter. I can't believe I've been missing this for so many years! It's hilarious! I'm already up to Season 8. The "All About Mormons" episode hit a little close to home, but I can see where the creators were coming from, and I LOLed a few times. But it was awful how the boys threw a ninja star into Butters' eye, dressed him up like a dog, and almost got him euthanized at the animal shelter. I still LOLed.
Ask us anything, and we'll add a Q&A section in the next chapter. I would be happy if you ask questions.
Please enjoy what I wrote.
Thursday, July 11, 2018
If you're really not in a hurry… I'd like to hang out a little longer.
Sakura Inori had said this to Naoto Hachioji upon leaving the swing set, where the gal had fabricated her own little slough of sand to dunk her feet into.
I just wanted to bum around for fifteen or twenty minutes while I dry off…
She'd in the past few minutes washed off her legs at the park's water-spigot. What was she going to do, walk home wet?
I'd rather not just sit here by myself.
There was nothing weird about a teenaged girl saying that. Who wanted to be alone in the otherwise and outwardly vacant park with night approaching? It was already well after 7:00 p.m.
Yes, she still had to walk home by herself when she and her senpai parted ways for the day, but the familiar walk home was a little less daunting than waiting until a quarter-to-eight—alone—in the potentially unsavory park. A place for familial, innocent fun, bad shit wasn't unknown to lurk in the dark corners, and it only got worse at night.
There was nothing weird about it at all, asking him to stay with her.
What Sakura had said wasn't odd in the least, but even Naoto could every so often read between the lines.
The gal's manner raised red flags all over his cognizance, and he'd asked reflexively, "Do you not wanna go home for some reason?"
He'd trusted her when she denied that. But her guileless cheer didn't fully cover up the notion that she may as well have been walking up 13 steps to drop through a hole in the floor, a rope snug around her neck.
Yes, this was hyperbole, the ghastly stuff about falling through a trapdoor to her death in a noose, but she was dreading something.
Naoto had faith that his friend—for any and all logical reasons—wanted his company until she was well on her way home, but there was something else.
He knew she had something she wanted to say to him.
And he'd listen, he was sure.
But he hoped she'd say it in time to avoid either of them getting drenched on their respective ways home.
Shoot, depending on what it was, he might not want to hear it in the first place. He unquestionably wouldn't force the issue.
Maybe he should've just gone home.
…
…
…
"Do you always carry a bedsheet with you, Sakura-san?" Naoto found it hard to accept as true.
Sakura joked, "It takes up less space than a beach towel~."
"But you do?" He stayed focused.
"Hey, I don't like grass stains or lying right on the ground."
"So… you do this often?" He found this less difficult to believe than the fact she habitually kept a twin-size bedsheet tucked in her bag.
"Not often enough~," she purred. "Thanks for joining me, Senpai-kun~."
He allowed himself a little smile and said, "Sure… This is kinda nice…"
"Definitely~." She scooched around, making herself more comfortable.
(For anyone that might think senpai and kohai are up to no good, get your mind out of the gutter. 😉)
The two of them lay side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder on the thin cotton sheet—fully clothed, mind you—staring up at the sky. They were close, but they weren't that close.
"It's a shame there aren't any neat clouds to look at right now," Sakura lamented. "You should do that sometime. It's really relaxing. And it's lots of fun~."
"I guess the sheet doesn't take up too much space." He twisted slightly her way. "Good to be prepared, I guess. This is what you and Sunomiya did last week?"
"Yup, when we were drying off," she said. "You shoulda seen how blue the sky was~. There were so many fun shapes up in the clouds to name. Now the sky's just… bleh…"
Naoto turned his gaze back upward. "Yeah."
The sky was still blue, but it was making way for the approaching wall of gray unpleasantness, that would bring with it rain, not to mention that dusk was upon them.
Notwithstanding, it wasn't that bad at all, a young man and a young woman, enjoying an early summer evening in the park!
Not bad at all!
But, in spite of all this, Naoto was on edge. Quite aware that Sakura most very likely had some kind of bombshell to drop on him, one might say he was on high alert. He did his best to not show it, but he doubted he'd be able to hide from the rather perceptive gal.
The two had been alone together several times, but Naoto still hadn't nailed down Sakura's rhythms. She could "change direction" in a conversation abruptly enough to give a chatting companion whiplash, and she'd go from talking about how unexpectedly good the school's curry at lunch was to things he didn't want to know about.
Again, she'd wanted him to stick around for some reason.
Perhaps it was selfish, but Naoto thought he'd had enough real-life drama on his plate in the last couple/three weeks, and he wasn't sure he was up for whatever gut-buster the blonde had cooking.
If he could, he'd try to "hold her off" until they both had to leave. Making an excuse and splitting occurred to him more than once, but he simply didn't want his friend to be alone. Sakura's impending closet-skeletons aside, he felt better knowing she was safe.
He'd have to keep his guard up.
…
"Senpai-kun, Senpai-kun!" Sakura chirruped. "Look!"
Naoto looked up and followed her pointing finger.
It was a funny, medium-sized cloud. Blocked by trees only a moment before, it had drifted into their line-of-sight.
"How about that~?" The gal was delighted. "That's a good one too!"
Naoto wasn't sure if it was a "good one", but it was an interesting formation.
It looked like…
"It looks like the continent of Europe…" He thought it did.
"Hmm…" Sakura mulled. "I see what you mean~… There's even a little 'Sicily' off the boot of 'Italy'! Cool~!"
"The 'Scandinavian' part is a little misshapen though…" Naoto decided. "It's all… going to the northwest of where it should be…"
"It does look like Europe though," Sakura definitely agreed. "But before you said that, I thought it looked kinda like a dinosaur… a Triceratops~!"
Her senpai could make it out. "Yeah… The west makes the face, and the east makes the body."
Sakura described, "It's not doing it now, but a minute ago, 'England' and 'Ireland' were stuck to northern 'Spain'; it looked like the little horn on its nose~."
"But its forehead-horns are all wacky." Naoto refocused. "'Norway' and stuff are all droopy."
"…" His kohai was gazing intently at the puff of white. "I got it! It looks like a dog climbing a hill!"
Naoto couldn't make that out!
"Really?" he asked.
"Tilt your head just a little bit this way…" she urged, motioning.
He put his ear to his right shoulder. "Huh! It does! That's… Yeah, that's a dog."
"I wonder what it looks like upside-down…" Sakura thought aloud.
"Should we~?" Naoto questioned, unexpectedly peppy.
"Yeah~!" She clapped her hands.
They spun around and put their heads where their feet had been.
"…" Naoto cocked his head.
"…" Sakura did the same.
Naoto frowned. "Now it doesn't look like much of anything…"
Sakura had something. "Whoa! I know what it looks like…"
"Yeah?"
"It looks like the skull of a bighorn sheep…" she proposed. "Like the logo for that American car company… uh… Dodge."
Naoto smiled this time. "Hey, yeah! It really does. I guess it also looks like… uh…"
He wouldn't say.
"It looks like…?" Sakura prompted.
"It's… dumb…" He shook his head. "I don't wanna say."
"You don't wanna say?" She was scandalized. "We're cloud-gazing, Senpai-kun! There's no right answer! And there's certainly no wrong answer!"
"I… guess," he permitted. "But I don't think you'd like it."
"Try me~."
"…"
"…~?"
He did. "It… looks like one of those diagrams… of women's reproductive organs…"
Instead of reacting… however Naoto thought she might, she just nodded. "Yeah… Good eye~."
Naoto blew out a sigh of relief, "Oh, I thought for sure you'd get mad."
She ho-hummed, "Nah… It really does look like that."
"…" He felt pretty satisfied with himself. "Perspective's quite a thing, Sakura-san."
"Mmhmm!" she harmonized. "Europe one way… Baby-maker the other~…"
Naoto nearly choked, and he gave a wheezy laugh, "You're crazy, Sakura-san~."
"Makes things more interesting~…!" she proclaimed.
"…~" Naoto coughed, still trying to calm down his hoarse chuckle.
"…~" she simpered.
"…" He was grinning, having gotten a grip.
"…"
"…"
"That reminds me…" Sakura suddenly laughed immoderately. "Funny thing is… Hana-chan and I were looking up at totally different angles from each other… and everything looked different too because of it."
"…Okay…" her senpai facilitated. "Why's that so funny?"
I have a feeling I'm about to find out! He wasn't sure if it would be good or bad or somewhere in between.
"Well, there was this one massive, big, old, puffy cloud up there," she began. "To me, it looked like some guy standing at a stove with a frying pan."
"Yes?" Naoto prepared himself. What did Sunomiya see?
"Can you guess what Hana-chan saw~?"
"I can't imagine…" he felt the corners of his mouth turning up.
"She thought it looked like two elephants humping~!" she shrieked, kicking her legs in high glee.
Oh, man! Naoto should've known that sort of thing was coming.
The gal let out a guffaw, "What do you think of that~?"
The beginnings of Naoto's smile had become one. "Like I said earlier, I think I'm not all that surprised anymore…"
Sakura tried to stop crowing long enough to get a word in. "Then… Then we switched places, and she was RIGHT! So was I! She saw the dude cooking too!"
Her attempt at self-possession lasted only long enough for that, and her composure fell apart, but she gradually reduced her outpouring to little hoots.
Something about all this struck a serious chord with Naoto. He got his elbows up underneath him, allowing him to partially sit up and get a good look at the entirety of the Sakura.
…Whoa… He absorbed the vision. "…!"
There was something… wonderful about it. Seeing her, sprawled out, free, and her bosom rising and falling, breathless from laughing her ass off.
It was mesmerizing.
It just seemed… right.
"Oh, this has been quite a week, Senpai-kun~!" Sakura suddenly warbled.
Her birdsong broke Naoto from his stupor.
Damn it! He blinked. There I go again…
She hadn't noticed. "What's the first thing you're gonna do once finals are done?"
"Huh…" Naoto hadn't thought about it much; he went prone again, lacing his fingers over his belly. "Well, besides getting some more sleep and playing a videogame or something, I think I'll go find something fun to sketch. The social studies exam will only take up Wednesday morning, and the rest of the week will just be the teachers keeping us occupied. But they might even let us move between classes or hang out in the courtyards. I might just take a sketchpad and… sketch something."
"That sounds relaxing~…" Sakura burbled. "I know something I'm looking forward to."
"What's that?"
"I really wanna just chat with some of my classmates," she revealed. "I've just been spending so much time with you and Hana-chan, I haven't had a chance to sit and talk with anyone in over a week."
Naoto knew that she meant nothing negative as far as how she'd been spending her time. "That sounds nice… though it's pretty much the opposite of what I plan on."
"Hey, you've got some pretty good friends, Senpai-kun~." She shut her eyes and adjusted her shoulders, getting a nice pop out of one. "Maybe you could get your pals Shuu and Tohru to go to the arcade or something. And I'm sure us girls will be able to spare you a little time~."
"Oh, we're not going to the arcade, but we're probably going to go to one of our houses for some snacks and soda and a nice fighting-game tourney," he yawned. "But yeah, I wouldn't mind if you all stopped by for lunch a day or two next week. I'm looking forward to a little solitude to work on my art, but I do want to see everyone."
"Even if it gets a little loud~?" she giggled.
He chuckled and said, "Yes, Sakura-san… Even if it gets a little loud. I can't imagine it won't."
"Hmm~…" she mumbled. "I guarantee you, one of the first things that'll come outta Gamo-chan will be that she wants to do karaoke again."
"She definitely loves it." He knew she really loved it. "She told me something along the lines of dragging me there, next time, by the scruff of my neck."
The gal smirked, "Did she now~?"
He responded, "If she has to…"
She giggled at the idea.
"You think she would?" Naoto attempted to keep a straight face.
"Kicking and screaming, Senpai-kun~." Sakura's attempt was a dismal failure.
"…"
"…~"
Naoto, he found, had something to get off his chest; his bounce took a nosedive. "Until just the last few weeks… I didn't know that Gamo-chan felt that way… that she liked being friends with me that much."
He wasn't always sure that she'd even wanted him around…
That sobered up Sakura in a hurry.
Having no problem picking up on his sudden wistfulness, she wasn't about to purposefully misinterpret his phrasing. "…I guess it surprised me a little bit too."
He had to ask, "Why? Was it sudden… or…?"
Fading out wasn't what he wanted, but he had nothing… at least nothing he was ready or willing to say in front of Sakura.
The couple of major encounters he'd had with the de facto ringleader of Nagatoro's group of friends weighed heavily on his mind. He was satisfied with no one else besides Hana knowing about one of them, and he was grateful that he didn't need to elaborate to the girl next to him; he knew he wouldn't have to.
She comforted him, "You've become friends… It's not something to work yourself into a headache over, Senpai-kun… What did you just tell me about Hana-chan?"
He could tell she was holding out on him and persisted, "Why though?"
Accurately deducing that he wasn't buying it, she disclosed, "When I say to not read into it too much, I mean it… There's no big reveal or some hidden whatever… I think part of it is she's just happy to have a guy for a friend… and one that views her as a girl at that…"
Yowch! Naoto flinched.
Lying right next to him, Sakura couldn't have missed his reaction if she'd tried. "Something tells me you already figured that out, didn't you?"
There was no denying it; he said, "You could say that."
"It's probably not any more complicated than that…" she assured.
…
… …
… … …
Rumble… Rumble… RumBLE…
… … …
… …
…
"Ya hear that?" Sakura lifted her head a fraction.
"Yes." Naoto could hear the thunder, far away but on the way.
"Sounds like the distant beating of the drums, doesn't it~?" she mused. "Guess we can't dawdle too much. Would've been smart to take off already."
He questioned, "If you wanted to dry off and get home, why not just use the bedsheet for that? It'd dry you off."
"I thought about it, but missing out on this~?" she chortled. "I'm enjoying this, Senpai-kun~."
"…Me too."
Letting loose a yawn of her own, Sakura shuffled. "Mmm~…"
Naoto sensed things shifting down at the end of the blanket; he took a look.
Sakura was running a heel along the top of her other foot, either working on an itch or just fidgeting.
He wasn't staring, but he again noticed her pedicure. His vision was at least 20/20 with his contacts in, and he could see she'd already flaked off a considerable amount of her polish. The job had seemed immaculate before the stint of weirdness she'd shown him.
He asked, curious, "Do you normally just paint your nails, or do you have a whole procedure?"
She must've noticed where his eyes were, because she scrunched her toes and turned slightly to the side, obscuring his vision.
She'd already warned him at least twice that day about too intensely studying the lower half of her body, and the leg-embargo seemingly was still in effect.
Oh, crap! Naoto fussed. Guess she was serious…
However, if she was irked at all, she came back evenly, "I do a full manicure and pedicure on myself once a week, normally. Takes a little over an hour…"
"Why'd you play so rough in the sand like that then?" It didn't make sense to him. "You did your toes, what, just two days ago, and you've already chipped them."
"Oh…" Sakura was nonplussed. "I didn't notice."
Looking past her ample assets, she realigned her legs with the rest of her and considered her pigs.
"Yup, you're right…" She splayed them, checking from a couple angles. "How 'bout that…?"
Naoto reasoned, "Seems like a lot of work to just ruin it all."
"I only painted my toes because I wanted them to match my fingers," she told him. "I didn't try to do a good job, really. But I was looking down at the blue, and ugh. It just bothers me when things don't match."
Oof! He remembered well her line to Hana about wanting all the hair on her body to "synchronize".
It would take some serious brain-bleach for Naoto to rid himself of the knowledge that Sakura dyed her bush the same color as her locks and eyebrows.
He pushed on, "I see…"
"I gotta just admit it, Senpai-kun," she exhaled. "I do not like this pink on me. Don't like it a bit…"
"…"
"…"
"Then why'd you work with Sunomiya using the stuff?"
Sakura shrugged and explained, "Hana-chan liked the color, and I knew she'd wear it well. I just don't like it on me."
"I guess you did just paint each other's fingers…" He knew they hadn't had much time. "You only had a little while."
"Yeah, I did a few things to get us ready, but we certainly didn't do full manicures. I was just showing her how to paint. I explained to her that it wouldn't last long. We'd need to do a lot more for a good job of it. Prep… cleaning… buffing… protective coat… It just confronts me when my toes don't match my fingers, is all, so I slapped a quick coat on 'em, and I called it good. If I'd done a good job down there, you'd be surprised at how durable it can be. I forgot how fragile a slap-dash job like this can be."
"Got it." He was plenty satisfied with her explanation; she'd said plenty.
Sakura glared at the offending pigment. "I so wanna just strip this stuff off and put on something I like, but I'll leave them until tomorrow or Saturday… Hana-chan's never done makeup or nail-polish before the last couple of weeks, so it's something different for her. I think she'd like to see it on me a while. Y'know… solidarity."
Naoto considered, nearly grinning, "I'll bet she just likes the fact you two are coordinated."
She jerked at that.
He shied away, "Sakura-san?"
She frowned. "…"
What's this…?! Naoto didn't know why that would bother her.
It wasn't a big, nasty frown, but her brow furrowed.
Naoto risked, "You okay, there?"
Sakura blew out a heavy sigh, "Sorry…"
"It's… alright…?" He didn't know. "What's going on?"
She chewed her words, "I… It… kinda bothers me that Hana-chan wants to be like me…"
"…?" This didn't compute with Naoto.
"…" Sakura rankled.
"What's that got to do with the two of you having matching nails?" He didn't mean to put her down, but she'd said something kind of odd.
"Well, not much, I guess," she conceded. "I think I'm just afraid she might start feeling that way."
"…" Naoto decided to just listen.
"Why would Hana-chan wanna be like me?" Sakura didn't see it. "Why?"
Her senpai was instantly ready to answer with a few potential things:
Because you're a really cool girl!
She admires you!
Because you've become friends!
She looks up to you!
'Cause you've got it going on!
He could've given any of these reasons (and none of them were untrue), but he knew Sakura wouldn't appreciate such naïve deduction.
The gal was troubled.
And she voiced it. "I can see… maybe in some ways… But she must know about me… the kinda girl I am…"
Oh, fuck! Naoto should've figured. That's what she's on about…
Unfortunately, this wasn't a thing easily explained away!
He again noticed a lot of activity at the other end of the sheet.
He peeked. Oh… damn it…
Sakura was pressing her feet together, unable to keep still. Really, the whole of her was squirming with a purposeless, restless energy.
Naoto turned it over in his head, and he found his "solutions" would be fairly worthless to his friend:
I don't think that bothers Sunomiya.
She wanted to be your friend, right? She gets it.
Maybe it all went over her head in the first place… Don't worry!
These really were barely worth the breath it would take to say them.
"Sakura-san?" Naoto found he needed to say something.
He seemed to disrupt the trance she'd been in.
And she moved in a rather unexpected direction. "The game we played… I need to uphold my end of it."
Naoto balked.
"…What…?" There was no stopping that coming out of him.
The gal had derailed! There wasn't a more appropriate term for her transference.
"The game we played…" Sakura was honed in. "It's your turn to ask me a question. You can ask now or take a raincheck."
The gears in Naoto's head enmeshed. That can't be the reason you wanted me to stay around!
She'd offered his turn to be taken at his leisure, but it seemed she was more interested in the immediate.
"What do you wanna ask?" She certainly wasn't aware of his frame of mind. "It's not fair to put you through that with no 'consequences' for me."
Sakura-san… Naoto was slightly horrified at her determination.
"It can be a two-parter if it needs to be… like mine." She wrung her hands, her voice faltering. "You were a really good sport to go along with it."
She really wants me to ask something! His imagination took off.
He'd had nothing earlier. He knew he'd have a chance to ask something, but he'd been coming up blank.
It was no better now.
He knew that calming down Sakura—getting her off this cerebration and finding out what was wrong—was what he needed to do, but he couldn't help but come up with questions.
…
Naoto could ask how to capture Nagatoro's heart.
Maybe it's finally time to finally tell one of the girls about my feelings for Nagatoro…
But he wasn't ready to tell Sakura, even with recent their progress as friends.
Anyway, it was supposed to be a question for her… about her…
…
Naoto could ask her "otaku level".
She's a geek of SOME kind! I could ask her, and maybe we could have a laugh! We might even have some stuff in common!
However, this rang hollow. It was certainly something to ask of her in happier circumstances, but it just felt off.
…
Naoto could ask about ways to better interact with Gamo-chan.
Sakura-san knows as well as I do… I could probably be doing better in that!
It wasn't an inane question, but as with asking about the solution to his Nagatoro troubles, this wasn't the time.
…
As was normal in this sort of setting, Naoto arrived at what was one of the worst things he could think up to ask her.
He was learning more and more that this line of thought just happened.
For better or worse, he could! In this case…
Who am I kidding?! There's no "better" to be had! It's only worse!
And it was pretty bad.
He could ask her if she was really a virgin.
She'd told him—and Takata—that she was a virgin, and he trusted her, but he hadn't heard it straight.
He was sure that all the girls in his close circle were cherry. Nagatoro was… Gamo-chan was… Yoshi was… Sakura was…
Further out, Nekoba almost indubitably was, perhaps as clumsy with boys as Yoshi was…
The only one he wasn't sure of was Rabi-chan.
And Hana? She had no place in his thought-processes on the matter. It never even occurred to him to include her in such an assessment.
The awareness that Nagatoro, Gamo-chan, and Yoshi were as such was every so often in the back of his head whenever they decided to virgin-shame him, of which they'd done plenty in their earlier days together. Sakura had never really done it, unless one counted the time he straddled her on that predominantly unpleasant Friday night, and he didn't.
He'd even known a very strong impulse—on several occasions—to snap back at the girls, asking them about how many dicks they'd each taken… how many boys they'd each kissed…
He knew—he'd stake a lot on it too—that with the exception of Sakura smooching up a riot, any answers but "none" and "none" would be a big, fat lie.
Nagatoro, Gamo-chan, and Yoshi were all no more experienced than he was, even less so, and he'd relished the idea of turning it back on each and every one of them!
He wasn't sure if it was fear, restraint, or compassion that that stopped him.
Still, even thinking about it had been infrequent.
It had been infrequent, "had" being the keyword.
But now, it was sometimes all he could think about. As much as he tried to keep the thoughts from his head, he'd look at each of the girls, and… VIRGIN!
It popped into his cranium at moments any of them seemed particularly vulnerable and innocent.
It was happening right now, watching Sakura struggling next to him.
And he felt dirty about it. Absolutely filthy. Like, "I need a shower" dirty.
…
In the waking world, Naoto had contemplated all of the above, and none of it worked.
About all he could say for sure was that the gal was full of surprises and all manner of fun, and he was sure anything appropriate he asked would open up something interesting and probably enchanting.
Though, it wouldn't be fair for him to ask anything shattering.
Really, he'd given her very little, admitting that she was in the finals bracket—unwittingly alongside Gamo-chan—for best in swimsuit.
It was all quite harmless.
Whatever way, Sakura was willing to make the decision for him.
She extended, "If you don't have anything, there's something I've… been wanting to share."
Fuck! It was then that Naoto realized he'd had his guard dropped just about the entire time they'd been together on the bedsheet. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
There was something strange… something wrong in her voice, and he wasn't having it.
Nope, nope, nope, nope. His entire being was waterlogged with "nope". A thousand times, NOPE!
He could still salvage this! He could raise his guard and get through this!
He quickly said, "You don't have to! I'll take the 'raincheck'."
His attempt to stay level had failed, and he knew he'd sounded desperate, but what could he do?
The dejection emitting from her could be felt.
She whispered, disappointed, "Okay…"
Naoto was floundering. Why didn't I just go home?! This isn't good…!
But to his great respite, Sakura improved.
Pulling herself out of it, she said, "I'm… sorry, Senpai-kun… I got carried away there…"
He perked up. "…?"
"Seriously, I'm alright," she told him. "I'm good."
"You sure?"
"Yeah…" she said. "You know how sometimes… you just focus on something. It doesn't always make sense, but it's all you can see… You get me?"
Naoto nodded understandingly. "I gotcha… I know exactly what you mean."
On the inside, he was jumping for joy. Crisis averted!
"…"
"…"
"It's just, I don't remember ever having a best friend," Sakura conveyed. "I know it sounds weird, but I've never had one, at least since I was really little."
"Hmm…" Naoto acknowledged. At least she's only feeling bothered over that… Could be worse!
She shone, "I love that Hana-chan sees me like that."
Her senpai sensed an upswing in her spirit, and it gave him one of his own. "…~"
"But… I'm messed up." She folded her hands, snug to her chest. "It takes a messed-up person to do what I did."
Shit… Naoto again knew her negativity.
"Hana-chan does know what I've done, right?" Sakura supposed. "That I hurt all those boys… that I hurt Nobu-kun…"
"…" He cared about the gal, but a part of his brain kept loudly reminding him that he didn't want to be there; it was constant.
Sakura continued, "I don't know how much she knows, but I'm scared she'll learn about certain stuff… and I dunno what'll happen then. What if she asks?"
Naoto hadn't been ready to inject his views on Hana, but he now had an opening and maybe a chance to end this.
"Sakura-san, don't get down on self over this." This was rich coming from him, but both of them needed to hear it from somewhere! "It's not like friends need to know everything about each other. Everyone has secrets. I have no idea what Sunomiya might have to hide, but I'm sure she has something."
"…" She was less than certain on the whole, but she was paying attention.
"Sakura-san, do you really think that Sunomiya would stop liking you when she probably already knows?" Naoto felt a lot more certain than the gal. "You say she notices a lot, and she does. It wouldn't surprise me if she knew about whatever's bugging you… specifically…"
Fuck! He'd ended poorly there! How would I know any of this?!
He wasn't sure where that certainty had come from, but it seemed pretty baseless.
It could be said, however, that his words had some positive effect, because he could tell that Sakura was a little more docile.
She even presented a tiny smile. "Yeah… you're probably right about that, Senpai-kun. Hana-chan's pretty smart."
He let his excitement get the better of him, but he managed to stifle it, almost. "Yeah! I try not to think about what she might have on me! It's embarrassing what she might know, but believe me, she'd never hold it over your head or anything!"
Oh, no… Faithless was how he might describe himself. Of course, Sunomiya would never do anything to intentionally hurt you! Or me! Why'd I even say that?! Like there was any doubt?!
Irrespective of how Sakura took it, she turned her gaze to Naoto. "What you and Hana-chan have is pretty special, Senpai-kun… I almost envy you~."
Envy me?! This didn't click with him.
What Naoto had with Hana was different than what Sakura had. One wasn't better than the other… They were just different.
"You'd do anything for Hana-chan, wouldn't you, Senpai-kun?" Sakura pressed.
He…
He replied, "Just about…"
What's this? He could tell something new was going on.
Her tone had an almost… dreamy aspect.
"That day… last week?" She took on a dreamy aspect. "When you thought I might be trying to hurt Hana-chan? You should've seen yourself…"
Naoto just about had a coronary. She's bringing this up?!
"You really didn't give a fuck, did you?" Sakura alleged, a redness creeping into her cheeks. "You didn't even think about what you were doing, shooing away those two stupid first-years. You just did it. You didn't even stop to think until it was all over with…"
"…!" What had Naoto just fallen into?!
His entire existence crawled, and he experienced an almost insuppressible urge to bolt, leaving the gal, but he was stuck.
She went on, a devious grin spreading along with her blush, "When you took my hand… When you dragged me back there like that, I knew… I knew you'd do anything for Hana-chan. That was… imposing~."
Naoto quailed, "…!"
Was she… getting aroused?!
"But even more…" Sakura breathed. "The night I ran away from Nobu-kun… our last date… you and me almost literally ran into each other."
She is, isn't she?! Naoto's vision started becoming fuzzy, and a very exact nauseousness twisted his insides. Why's she bringing up Takata?!
"And when you thought he'd hurt me… I couldn't believe it…" She was positively aglow. "You really would've tried to fight him… for me… I was afraid for you, but… I think I was even more afraid for Nobu-kun. You just didn't care… You looked like… Wow~!"
The young artist couldn't even move, he was so engrossed. He knew this was now out of his control.
"I never thought anyone would be willing to do that for me… fight for me… other than my parents… other than Daddy…" Her voice broke for an instant, mentioning her father, and she brought up her hands, covering her mouth. "No one else ever did… when I needed it the most…"
No… Naoto thought he could see where this was going, and he was aghast.
"But what really did it… was later~." Sakura brought her hands down to her breast, tightly clenched. "I was scared, Senpai-kun… I was really scared."
Oh, please, no! He tried to find the words to tell her to shut up.
"When I wouldn't listen to you, you pinned me down…" She wormed about, knocking her knees together. "You wouldn't let up, even when I spat in your face and said all those horrible things to you… You wouldn't give up… And then you got all quiet… …The way you looked at me… I was so scared, I thought I was gonna die~… I thought you might actually… Yeah…"
Stop it! Naoto silently begged, but he couldn't force out anything verbal. You're gonna say something you'll regret! Something that I don't need to hear! Something you can't take back!
"But, I gotta tell you, Senpai-kun…" Her entire body seemed to rattle, shivering from top to bottom, her toes twiddling together. "Something about all that really turned me on… like you wouldn't believe~."
"…!" His mind snapped back; it was like an electric shock. Did she just…?! Did she just cream in front of me?!
If she noticed his immense discomfort, she gave it no heed; turning to jelly, she eyeballed him, red as a cherry. "Does that make me sick…?"
"…!"
"…~?"
This time, Naoto had his wits about him. "Ack!"
He rolled off the bed sheet and sprang up, goggling at her as if he'd never seen her before.
"Did you just…?!" He was shocked that she'd just get off like that—in front of him. "You did!"
"I did nothing of the sort," she leveled crossly, eyeballing his finger, pointed between her legs. "That was just a little shiver of ecstasy… nothing more."
Naoto believed her, and be that as it may…
"What the Hell is the matter with you?!" he almost yelled. "And why would you tell me that?!"
"What's the problem~?"
"…?!" Naoto was appalled, and he let his outrage take over. "That's not right, Sakura-san!"
"Yeah~?" she smirked, putting on bedroom eyes, sending him tottering.
"That's messed up…!" He physically leapt backwards, her expression cutting through his defenses. "Yes! That's not healthy! That's sick!"
"…~"
"…!"
She looked at him, full of… something.
He looked at her, full of utter disgust. And he had to look away.
No… Naoto's heart hurt. What's happening…?! How did I let this happen…?!
Artist and gal, together in the park, might as well have existed in different dimensions.
But within a few seconds, whatever Sakura was up to—all of it—disintegrated.
"You sound like my old therapist, Senpai-kun…" she said unsmilingly, a decided wretchedness perceptible. "That's more or less what she said to me…"
Naoto's head spun at that. "…!"
And just one look at Sakura told him…
She wasn't joking.
…?!
She WASN'T joking. In fact, she seemed… to submit to it.
It didn't take long for Naoto to figure it out:
She'd wanted him to say that! She'd been leading him! She'd been leading him for a few minutes! Leading him into a trap! And this was probably what she'd wanted to tell him.
Of this, he had little doubt.
He'd snubbed her, unwilling to play her game or listen to what she'd hoped to tell him, and she'd made the decision for him.
The knot he'd developed in his middle was threatening to bring up whatever was still in his stomach.
Sakura regarded him.
Realizing he was gawking, she laughed grimly and gave him an ironic, half-baked smile. "What~? She gave good advice. You really think all the 'smart' things I tell you came from me? Pfft!"
"…!"
"…~"
Naoto—all wound up—found himself easing. "…"
What's going on…?
Sakura snorted, "All my tough talk and sounding cool…"
Hearing her pipe up, Naoto stood stiff as starch, unsure if he was even awake.
"The good doctor telling me I'm a… '14-year-old with a filthy mind'…" the gal railed on. "Well, that's how I interpreted what she said when I was younger… Her words were kinder than that… not any more scientific or medical-sounding, but kinder… and definitely right. All the same… that's not why I was there in the first place… That came later."
Naoto began to soften. This was…
She was far from done. "She said I read too many dirty books. Watched too many… videos. And bad ones, at that… She wasn't wrong. I really hated her sometimes, but she had me pegged. I wish I'd been smart enough right away to see that she really cared… that she wanted to help me… She did… help."
Her senpai was rapt, unable to say a thing.
Sakura was silent for a few seconds, and she eked, "Senpai-kun…"
He flinched, focused on the gal. "…?!"
"Back then, even after I was supposed to be better, I felt so powerless…" Her eyes began to well up. "I couldn't do it anymore…! So, before high school… before we moved here, I changed everything. My hair… the way I dressed… the way I acted… the tan… I changed it all.
"I needed to feel sure… I needed to be in control… so I always made the first move… always kept others at a distance… and I only let them see what I wanted them to see. I messed up… sometimes, but I could usually keep things the way I wanted them."
…
"Senpai-kun…" She trembled, her voice thick with tears and sorrow. "People hurt me. I did everything I could to make sure it didn't happen again. I could live with it… people calling me a slut… hurting others. I could live with it. I was okay with all of it, as long as it was on my terms… as long as I could protect myself."
"…!" Naoto took a few clumsy steps towards her.
"…" Her face contorted, a seemingly inevitable cry coming on.
"Sakura-san…!" He went to his knees on the edge of the sheet, lost. "What are you…?!"
She gazed at him, giving his all a onceover. And something deep down in her pooling eyes clicked on.
Naoto could swear he almost saw a light.
"I… had some difficulties when I was younger," she finally spoke, trying hard to smile—a real smile. "Please just leave it at that…"
Naoto could see it:
She was vanquished.
There wasn't a better word for it… "vanquished".
He'd had the thought the day before:
Sakura had problems.
He knew this.
And here it was!
He felt like he was glimpsing something awful, that which no one should see. It was painful to view that self-loathing half-smile, and he almost felt guilty for merely bearing witness.
How could he stay on this?
Whatever way, Sakura wasn't able to keep that grief-stricken "smile" for long.
"Senpai-kun…" she uttered.
He focused on the girl in front of him, forlorn and pitiful. "…!"
"That's the kind of girl Hana-chan admires…" she whimpered, tensing up. "That's me…"
Naoto sat down properly beside her. "Sakura-san…?"
She sniffled, a little hiccup juddering her, and she began to weep.
Barely aware he was even doing it, her senpai extended his right hand to her.
She noticed, and she clamped onto it, bringing it to her chest. Her weeping increased to a wail, and she broke.
Naoto came closer, lying down, and he realized he was crying, the tears running down the side of his face when he changed position.
He wished there was something he could do to comfort his friend, but all he had was to clamber nearer, joining his left hand to the union she already held. She just as eagerly grasped it.
Listening to the pretty gal next to him sob, her body wracked with it, Naoto wondered why this kept happening.
It was like living in an anime melodrama… He couldn't keep the farcical notion at bay, even at this absurd, most inappropriate of times.
Please look forward to the next chapter! Thanks for reading! Questions and comments are welcome!