I recently got to go back and visit my grandparents at their house on Lake Wateree. While I was there we saw a school of catfish being weird as hell. They were near the surface, schooling, and general they are bottom feeders and solitary. Anyway, that experience was a big part of this chapter's inspo. Because if there is one thing I do not want to mess with, it is a catfish. Much less 40 of them. The lake only recently refilled after being drained to work on the dam, so that contributed to this but still.
By the way, I'm talking schools of 15+ pound fish.
The trip was great, by the way. I got to visit for my Aunt's birthday! It was nice to be back in SC myself. Hopefully I'll get down there more often.
Hank the dog had many tasks through his day. He was the only one in charge of waking Victoria, his favorite person in the world, from her sometimes restless sleep. He also handled her emotional needs. After all, no chin but his could need scratching so badly that she would stop stressing to do so.
Once Victoria was awake his job turned toward checking the perimeter of their slice of the world. He would barge out the back door and rush through checking all the corners of their yard. The glass bottles were in place. The bushes were stable. That fucking squirrel had not returned in the night to wreak his stupid havoc, which was always a plus. There were no new scent marks.
Abraham, as usual, challenged Hank by way of chittering and throwing a turtle onto land. Hank responded, as always, by barking at the turtle and refusing to rise to the threat. If the four-legged fish wanted to beef, then he could bring an actual steak.
After making sure that the property remained intact, Hank clawed at the back door, offered a singular bark and started his next set of duties.
Getting food.
Ever since the other two animals had moved in, his breakfast was delayed by at least 23 minutes a day. Often by 41! The redhead in particular was a late riser. At least the idiot in the trailer had the decency to wake up at a suitable hour. Then he went back and stayed in his little metal bedroom, as he should. This house belonged to Victoria, and to him, Hank.
And sometimes, only out of us his own arrogance, the fucking squirrel. But he had only made it passed the threshold once.
The redhead though, he lingered. And he was sometimes more annoying than the squirrel because he took up so much of Victoria's attention when it should have been directed toward him, Hank.
That is why, like most other days, Hank decided to hold his gas until the redhead was trying to eat.
"Ugh." Kurama frowned, waving a hand through the air before looking down to the dog. "How does a dog so well cared for make such a noxious smell?"
Hank barked in response, twice. Then he went and laid on the couch, his work for the morning completed.
"That's just how labs are." Victoria explained for the umpteenth time. "Unless you guys are feeding him scraps, in which case you brought this on yourself."
"I most certainly have not done anything to deserve this." Kurama assured her, sipping his coffee before scratching at this head with a yawn. "I have some online work to do today. What is on your agenda?"
"I was thinking of heading to Grams'. It's been a minute since we fired up the pontoon so I figured maybe you guys would like to ride along."
"Any special occasion for the visit?"
"Not really." Victoria enjoyed her coffee too, then sighed happily. Hiding her mouth behind her cup she added. "Well, I was asked to cut their law but I was hoping I could bribe Hiei into doing it."
"He's going to charge you." Green eyes rolled. "His rates have gone up."
"How much are they paying him these days?" She wondered.
"Kathy paid him two-hundred for her yard." Kurama watched Victoria sputter on her drink, muddy brown droplets splashing over her shirt and the counter between them. "And she tips."
"I'm going to start charging him rent." Victoria stated firmly, wiping at her mouth with her hand. Then, with a considering sweep of her blue eyes from the top of his mussed red crown to the state of his feet under red plaid pants, she eyed Kurama. "What do you pull in these days K-drama?"
"Pennies at best." He lied. "You know educators don't make money in America, Victoria."
She didn't believe him, but she allowed it to pass. At least he had the courtesy to lie, she decided. She could respect the hustle. Hiei though? He deserved a little price gouging in her opinion. After all, she'd bought him a whole trailer. Maybe lot rent wasn't unreasonable. But then again, if she did that, he might start expecting tenants rights or something. She shelved the idea for the moment. It wasn't like the boys didn't help out with expenses anyway. Hiei slid her a little bit of cash now and then for food. Kurama made a point to offer her a check every month for the day to day stuff.
"At least he can afford to gas up the boat." She stated to the room. Then, with consideration, she looked at the back door and sipped her coffee. "Where does he keep it all? I never see him with cash, but he doesn't have a bank account. The only time I see him with money is when he hands me some for bills."
Kurama lowered his coffee mug to the counter, realizing she was right. "You know, I don't know. I offered to set one up for him, after I had his citizenship information created, but he declined. He does not trust others with his finances."
"Speaking of citizenship information, Hiei doesn't have a last name. What did you end up settling on for him?" Victoria pried. "I haven't seen his state ID or passport."
Kurama smiled again, less mirthful and more vicious. "Well, I have him a week to give me an answer and he refused so I picked one for him. Here in this world he is Hiei Mulberry."
The shock of laughter that met his statement nearly made him jostle his coffee. Victoria's penetrating gaze landed on him, her hand gesturing in his direction as she held onto her humor.
"He is going to kill you when he finds out you basically made him a Kuwabara."
Hiei stretched in his bed, taking his time waking up. It was already hot enough to create beads of sweat on his neck, even with just a thin sheet covering his otherwise naked body. Now that he had some sense of privacy he didn't have to bother trying to be 'decent' when he slept. He could be spread eagle and unencumbered without anyone to complain at him. This was truly what freedom felt like.
He'd still have to get dressed to get into the house to shower, or to leave the trailer at all, but he could wait. He showered the day before so it's not like it was a pressing matter. Reaching under his pillow he pulled out his cellphone and opened the calendar app to study his day. Nothing. He didn't have anymore work for the Auntie Network for a few days, and Ashland was occupied by her mother for a handful of days so they didn't need him either. He had no reason to be presentable, nor particularly friendly.
One hand slicked back through the length of hair jutting at awkward angles along the center of his scalp before he absently rubbed at the shorter sides. A whole three days without obligations. That would do nicely, actually.
It was only moments later that he shoved the door to his trailer open wearing flip flops, Raybans atop his head, and swim shorts. He trekked to the back door of the lake house and strode inside without bothering to greet the two others at the counter. Instead, he immediately went for the refridgerator to rummage for something quick to eat before heading back outside.
"Good morning, Hiei. Today is going well. Thank you for asking. You know, I think it's going to be a good day." Victoria spoke aloud without his prompting. With a sigh he straightened up and rolled his head to stare at her with annoyance. "And how is your morning going my favorite edgelord?"
Kurama chuckled and Hiei sneered at him. "What's an edgelord?"
"It's accurate." Is the answer he received, but from Victoria which genuinely surprised him.
"Your Japanese is getting better." He commented without inflection, assessing her.
"Thank you. I've been practicing." She beamed with pride.
He rolled his eyes and moved to sign, Relax. I said it's getting better, I didn't say it was good.
"So, I take it you don't want to go on the boat later?" She asked him, pretending to be curious with a head tilt to emphasize the sarcastic nature of her tone. "That's a bummer. I guess it's just me and Kurama going to see Grams for lunch, and maybe dinner. I was supposed to bring steaks to grill but oh well. I guess I'll leave yours here in the freezer."
Hiei popped his tongue and closed the fridge as he looked her up and down, eyes narrowed. He glanced to Kurama who offered a shrug. After a beat of silence he grumpily signed that he wanted to go too. Quickly after, before she could say anything stupid to annoy him, he also pointed out they were out of breakfast foods and milk. She reached atop the fridge and pulled down a box of cereal, handing it to him.
"Eat it dry or use water if you don't feel like cooking. There are eggs and bacon and bread. Hell, I've got instant grits and five minute. There's plenty of food if you're not lazy." Then she went upstairs and left him holding a box of cinnamon toast crunch that was barely half full.
"Maybe next time you'll just say good morning." Kurama suggested as he stood up with his coffee cup and also went upstairs to get ready to face the day.
With a quick downward jerk of his head, Hiei brought his sunglasses down to his face. He opened the box of cereal and brought it outside with him as he ate a handful dry without shame. He brought the box with him to the pier. He sprinkled a tiny bit in the water above a thin line of bubbles, bringing Abraham to the surface. With a harsh glare, Hiei warned the kappa what would happen if the thing so much as looked at him wrong before he turned and crossed the pontoon, kicking his innertube off the boat. He left his flip flops on the boat, but brought the cereal with him as he sat in his floating donut to bask in the sun and enjoy the coolness of the lake water, his legs hanging over and his bottom in the hole so he could balance his breakfast on his lap and eat absently.
So absently, he did not notice himself drifting back into a comfortable sleep, the cereal box falling on it's side and spilling into the green water around him.
Hiei awoke to the sound of a splash close to his ear, annoying him back into consciousness. Wiping water off his face, he glared at the culprit, expecting to see Abraham being a nuisance. Instead, he saw a veritable army of fish surrounding him, sucking in water and soggy remnants of his cereal. Long, ugly, whiskered faces gaped at him with beady dead eyes. Twisting in place, he noticed they were behind him too. And between him and the boat. They were just fish, he understood, but something about the sheer number of them was disquieting. When he moved to look around the entire box somehow ended up spilled into the water, sending chunks of cinnamon toast crunch directly into the hungry, unsettling mouths.
"Nope." Hiei shook his head and decided this was not worth anything to him and he used the tow rope they tied to the innertube to keep it near the boat to drag himself close enough to pull himself back onto the pontoon, but in doing so he the unsettling sensation of slimy bodies swim underneath his legs as the fish swarmed to the cereal. It was his misfortune to know nothing of fish, but especially catfish.
Between the swift, hungry movements of the fish and his own adjustments to get into the boat he ended up yelling out in pain, hoisting himself onto the front of the pontoon. Swearing, seething, he reached down to his left leg and found two hard protrusions, one in his upper hamstring and the other in the meat of his glute. Punching down onto the carpeted surface of the boat's front he swore again, loudly, and then winced as he stood up to flip the stupid fish off that had done this to him. What sort of world was this? He'd rather face hatefish than deal with whatever monstrosity lurked under the pier at the moment.
Abraham chittered in just the right tone for it to feel like he was laughing at Hiei, who then whirled on the creature with a threat.
"What the hell is your problem?" Victoria was halfway down the yard toward him when she yelled the question.
Hiei scooped up his sandals and stiff-legged his way off the boat and onto the wood slats of the dock. Every step hurt and he did not at all appreciate the sensation. Victoria finished her way down to him, worry creasing her mouth at the way he was walking. When she asked what happened he angrily gestured to the still amassed school of fish fighting over one another for the last crumbs of cereal. She frowned at the long, squirming bodies and then eyed Hiei.
"Let me look." She directed, motioning for him to turn around, which he did begrudgingly after swatting at her hands twice. Her fingers grazed the barb sticking out of his hamstring and she swore to herself. "Alright, let's get you inside. Can you walk okay? I'll take the barb out when we get inside and clean it for you. Too bad I don't have a net, I could catch one and rub it's belly on the barbs."
He eyed her like she was suggesting he get back into the water. The what?
"Catfish have barbs on some of their fins. Especially the littler ones. They can puncture skin and get embedded. We need to get it out and clean it so you don't get an infection." She explained with some mild urgency in her voice. "It's going to suck to remove, but you'll have to deal with it. It's either me or the hospital."
He almost corrected her that he wanted to know why she would rub a barbed fish onto his injury, but did not feel like dealing with her idiotic reasoning.
With a grumble he nodded, gingerly following her up the ramp and stairs to the yard, then into the house. She grabbed her first aid kit and some towels, laying them on the couch before directing him to lay down with his left side facing her. The process of yanking the first barb out made Hiei yell a slew of curses at her, luring Kurama from his room to peer down from the upstairs landing to see what was happening. All he could see was Hiei on the couch, and hear Victoria scolding him for moving too much while she was trying to help.
"Do you want to pull it out of your own ass or do you want me to do it?" She demanded and Kurama took that a cue to walk down the steps to see what was going on.
Hiei hissed a reply and then heard the creak of the stairs and twisted to glare at his friend. "Not. A. Fucking. Word."
"What happened?" Kurama sidestepped Hiei's wrath to walk behind the couch to see what was happening. He noted the jagged fragment of bone on a paper towel on the floor by Victoria's knees as she knelt to study the dark haired man's legs. His eyes widened when she pushed Hiei's swim shorts up to reveal another swollen patch of skin just under his buttock.
Another rather rude warning came out of Hiei's mouth in Japanese.
"Yikes." Victoria frowned at the injury then tried to force a smile for the man on the couch. "I mean, it's not that bad."
Kurama's wild eyed stare in her direction told Hiei she was a filthy liar as usual. Red eyes slid back to her, expression laced with fury.
"Look, this happens all the time. Don't worry about it." She put one hand on Hiei's shoulder with a gentle squeeze. Then she stilled and looked toward the kitchen with concern. "Did you hear that?"
Hiei lifted and twisted slightly to follow her gaze with suspicion and then yelled a string of profanity when she took the moment to jerk the second barb out. He shoved her with one arm on instinct, forcing her back against the living room table.
They stared at each other for a moment before she held the barb with a glare, "I will put this back into you, Hiei."
Nostrils flared, leg still in pain he clenched his jaw as he held her attention.
"I think we should all calm down." Kurama suggested. "Hiei, she did help you. But Victoria, come now. He's not a child, you didn't need to pull such an underhanded trick."
"He was clenching." She argued. After a deep breath, she shook off the frustration and nodded. "Hiei, I'm sorry for surprising you with pain. It was not a friendly thing to do. Which is why I'm going to be upfront and warn you that this is going to hurt like a bitch and if you hit me again, I'm sending you to the hospital myself."
She pulled the bottle of rubbing alcohol out of her kit and uncapped it. Hiei eyed the bottle, then Kurama who winced. Hiei tried to sit up but with a look and not a word, Victoria had Kurama pinning him down by his shoulders.
"I hate to admit it, but this is for your own good Hiei. If those wounds get infected you could get sick." Kurama urged as the shorter man spewed a threat. In response he dug his fingers into Hiei's shoulders, leaning more of his weight into the action with intention. "That wasn't very polite, Hiei. Victoria just pour it on him and be done with it."
"Honestly." She grumped and then shook her head before pouring the liquid, only a few drops, onto the holes left behind. Hiei snarled at them and she smacked his ass without a second thought, surprising everyone including herself. Hiei was too stunned to keep fighting, instead gaping at her as though she'd grown a second head and she was sure he was assessing where she had grown the audacity. "Think about that the next time you want to act up. As Grams says, you're never too old for a spanking."
Hiei turned his head to stare at Kurama, perplexed enough to be still as she continued to clean around the wounds before applying neosporin. She placed bandages over the spots and stepped back with hands raised. Kurama released Hiei at her signal and they watched as he sat up immediately with a new fire in his eyes as he jutted a finger at Victoria's face, speaking so harshly and quickly in Japanese she had no idea what to make of the syllables.
"If you're going to fuss at me, do it in a language I can understand you feral fucking imp." She pointed back at his face. "I swear to god boy, I will roll that whole damn camper into the fucking lake with you in it and you and your fish friends can share a room."
He opened his mouth and she held a finger up to him, turning her head just slightly. "Think about your next words very carefully, Hiei, because I will tell Grams when we go to see her and then you'll have to deal with her punishment too."
Hiei slammed his mouth shut, crossed his arms over his chest and jutted his chin away from her direction. He went to cross his legs and winced, which only seemed to make him angrier.
"And not to slut shame, but if you weren't wearing your hoochie daddy swim shorts this probably wouldn't have happened." She pointed out to him. "That five inch inseam is a little much for floating on the tube."
He straightened and eyed her. What the hell is a h-o-o-c-h-i-e daddy?
Him having to finger spell it out made her chuckle, immediately dissolving all of her tension. As she giggled at his expense, Kurama seemed to remember he was indeed working and shouted about leaving his student unattended due to the commotion, and flew back up the stairs, forcing her into a true fit of laughter. Even Hiei snorted at Kurama's ferver.
Then they looked at each other, nodding by way of apology and Hiei hit her with No, but what is a h-o-o-c-h-i-e daddy really and what makes me one?
The boat ride to Grams was more sensitive than usual, as Hiei's catfish stings had started to swell a bit leaving him with one mildly swollen buttock and thigh so sitting wasn't comfortable for him. Kurama suggested they stop at a store and get him a cushion of some kind but received a middle finger instead of agreement.
"Honestly, I've had an easier time bathing cats that trying to put up with that man." Victoria lamented to Grams after relaying the story.
"Should have rubbed one of the fish's belly on it, woulda kept the swelling away." Pawpaw informed her from his recliner as he sat and watched the game.
"I didn't have a net." She explained readily.
Kurama stared at them both before offering a heartfelt and nearly fearful, "What?"
"Old fisherman's suggestion for catfish stings. Rub the belly slime on the area to lessen the pain and prevent infection." Victoria informed him easily, as though this were a perfectly normal piece of knowledge to offer. After a pause she thoughtfully asked, "Do you think Abraham would eat catfish? He wouldn't go to that side of the dock at first. It would be nice if he did."
"Shoulda caught some. We coulda fried it, baby girl." Pawpaw turned the volume up on the TV despite his kind tone.
They took the hint and walked away from the den to the back porch to continue their conversation. Grams rolled her eyes at her husband, but held onto a fond smile as they took up some of the patio chairs. She made Kurama dig into the outdoor mini fridge for some cokes.
"What kind?" Kurama asked the two women. "You have Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Coke, Diet."
He came back to their little gathering with a Diet for Grams, a Dr. Pepper for Victoria, and a bottle of water for himself. Red hair tied up into a sloppy bun, Kurama pressed the cold bottle to his neck for a moment before cracking it open. Hiei, for all his ordeals of the morning, had taken up refuge in one of the guest rooms upstairs for a well earned nap. Hank, who had dared to venture this far with them, laid in the yard in the sun and absolutely no major concerns.
For a while, the three of them just engaged in general conversation, until a few more members of the family trickled in. Particularly the teen cousins, who immediately took over the pool table and forced Pawpaw to turn on the subtitles he always complained he didn't need. The noise roused Hiei, who stalked down the stairs in his basketball shorts and muscle shirt, to glare at the newcomers before grabbing himself a cold beer from the fridge and heading outside. His slight limp did not go unnoticed by the cousins, who all bowed their heads together to make quiet jokes.
"Yo, is that your cousin's roommate?" One of the boys elbowed another. "Dude looks like a mewing version of one of those old troll dolls your mom has."
Hiei stopped himself from leaving the room to listen to them, out of morbid curiosity. With his thumb he forced the bottle cap off his beer, allowing it to clink on the floor. He snorted at the bit of metal, noting that Kurama and his soft hands still had to use a bottle opener if they weren't twist off caps.
"Dude that's not cool. He's deaf or something." The cousin shut down his friend. "You can't make fun of people like that."
"Wouldn't it be worse if we treated him different?" The kid asked. "Like, isn't that more discriminatory?"
A chorus of "No dude" answered him, so he put his hands up backing off. It was then Hiei chose to turn around, assessing the group as he sipped his beer.
"Dude he's staring at us. What's with his eyes?" The friend pulled back slightly, stepping behind Cousin Chad.
"UNCLE HIEI!" The screaming declaration was all the warning he had to twist around before Ashland threw her entire body weight against his legs. He barely steadied himself, and had definitely not saved himself as her tiny hand pressed directly against the sore spot on his hamstring. He suppressed the hiss he wanted to offer, but did not hide the grimace. His free hand came to rest atop tight blonde ringlets, offering a few pats before prying the child off of him. He gestured to his leg and signed that it was not to be touched.
Bethany appeared a few seconds later, apologizing for Ashland getting away from her. Hiei stared at her, puzzlement clear in his eyes. She nodded to him then sighed.
"Turns out my husband can't live without me." She joked, but her laughter ended quickly as she shifted her gaze.
Hiei went to the fridge and grabbed a second bottle of beer, popping the top off and extending it to her. He nodded to the sliding doors leading to the back porch. Bethany thanked him and followed closely behind to head outside as Hiei held Ashland's hand.
The teens left behind in the house all watched the interaction with nods of appreciation. Cousin Chad shoulder checked his friend and huffed.
"Mewing version of troll doll? Nah, did you see that? My man is the Rizzler highkey." He declared readily then looked at the triangle of balls on the green of the pool table. "I'm first up."
When they came to join Grams, Kurama, and Victoria to sit outside Hiei made quick work of signing out that he thought Bethany's husband was being a dickhead. He received a similar sentiment form Victoria by hand, but vocally she stated, "Hey girls, I'm glad you came."
"Yeah, it's nice to be with family." Bethany nodded with a plastered on smile. "We just needed a break from the house, you know?"
Victoria and Grams did a quick scan of the woman and exchanged a nanosecond glance before nodding along. They both came to the same assessment. Bethany's hair had grown out roots, her cheeks were sunburned, and most telling of all, she had no spot of makeup on. Her hair was stuffed into a ponytail. Today she wore a stained long-sleeved shirt and regular jeans.
Her toenails weren't painted.
Victoria had to look away before she said something. Grams was better than her. She offered conversation and welcomed Ashland onto her lap for a hug. But Victoria struggled to not speak. Her blue eyes tracked to crimson, and a silent understanding passed between them. Hiei had his arms crossed, frown creasing his mouth as he situated him uncomfortably in a chair. He flicked his gaze to the woman then back and Victoria offered a singular, quick nod.
Victoria met Grams' gaze, and they held each other's attention for longer. An intrinsic understand passed between them.
"You should stay here tonight." Grams offered to Bethany and made a friendly face at Ashland. "We can do s'mores tonight, and tomorrow the three of us can go and get our toes done."
Bethany inhaled and held it for a moment, opened her mouth ready to decline and then stopped herself. After a few seconds she exhaled and nodded. "That would be nice. I'd like that very much. And I think Ashland would too."
"Only if Uncle Hiei comes!" Ashland declared with all the might of a god.
Hiei paled.
Victoria and Grams both turned to him pointedly.
He tried to form words of denial.
Instead he found himself tipping his beer toward Bethany, offering a forced nod. Every hair on his body stood at attention under the weight of two pairs of stern blue eyes. His actions felt like his own than compulsions of a prey animal trying to avoid a predator. He did not know what getting his toes done meant, but he doubted it would be to his benefit. Once the moment was over he shot a harsh glare to Victoria, who of the psychics was the lesser of two evils. She shrugged at him then rolled her eyes. With a warm voice and strong influence she spoke.
"Kurama and I will come too! It'll be a big ole good time for all of us." She declared without bothering to glance at the redhead in question.
Kurama capped his water bottle and stared at her profile, hoping to bully her into glancing his way. When she failed to comply he cleared his throat to dispute her claim. But when Hiei shot him a sharp eyed glare he hesitated. It was barely discernible, the way his friend glanced at Ashland then her mother. The order, no, request, was clear. Fall on this sword for the greater good.
So, reluctantly, Kurama smiled at them all. "I look forward to it."