lawly

by footfungus

lawly

50. AOT gabi centric

Fortune's Harbinger

Museflight

Summary:

Twelve perspectives on the enigmatic girl who joined the 104th just before graduation.

Notes:

For Mavzell.

There are five things to know about this fic.

1. It is a prequel to a much larger project I have planned.

2. Chapter lengths are going to vary to a hilarious degree. I considered just posting it as a giant one-shot, but decided on multi-chap for organizational reasons.

3. It was written for the fantastic Mavzell. Mavze is an anime only and thus cannot read it until the series concludes.

4. This fic may be a little confusing up until the final chapter. I know because I wrote it that way. But on the bright side, the next one in the series will be Gabi's PoV and thu less confusing.

5. It won't let me include a chapter summary for the first chapter, but this chapter (and the second) both take place ten days before the day of disbanding.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Historia

Chapter Text

"Krista!" a bright voice calls.

Historia immediately plasters on a smile and turns to face the speaker.

Her name is Gabi Magnolia, and she is the only person among the cadets who may be more of a fake than Historia herself.

"Have you seen Eren?" Gabi asks.

"I think I saw him heading toward the dining hall," Historia says. "I could help you find him, if you like?"

"Nah," Gabi says before grinning at her, bright and wild. "Thanks, though! You're a lifesaver!"

Her comrade trots off toward the dining hall, and Historia is careful not to let herself frown as she watches her go. She does stare after her for a moment though.

That moment is enough time for someone to sneak up on her.

"Looking at anything interesting?" a voice breathes into her ear.

Historia jumps, and is already scowling as she turns to face Ymir. Ymir, meanwhile, is grinning like the cat that caught the canary. The expression makes Historia's own soften.

"I was just talking to Gabi," she says.

"Interesting enough, I suppose," Ymir replies.

Historia can't help herself. "You suppose?"

Interesting is one of the easiest words to use to describe Gabi. The fifteen-year-old had joined the 104th training corps during the very last weeks of their training. Not to be scored among them, Shadis had assured them, but just to take the final tests. Rumor has it that she had been scouted by the survey corps and would be joining them immediately after graduation.

No, "rumor had it" isn't the right term, not when Gabi openly admits as much to anyone who asks. She is already set to join the survey corps after graduation and is only even with them for this last leg of training because she had begged. She claimed that she wanted to take the final tests to ease her anxieties and prove to herself that she was capable of facing titans.

(Odd. She doesn't strike Historia as the sort of person to be slowed down by anxiety.)

The rumor is that Gabi was scouted by the survey corps after she was caught scaling the wall with stolen ODM gear.

No one knows anything about her beyond that, her past as much of a blank slate to the rest of the cadets as Historia's. And even though they've gotten to know her over the past few weeks, Historia just can't shake the feeling that they don't really know her.

She doesn't know why. It might be some sort of liar's intuition. It could be that she sees another outwardly nice girl with a secretive past and can't help but project. Either way, whenever she speaks to her, something feels off.

So, yes, "interesting" is a good way to describe Gabi.

Yet Ymir just shrugs, then grins in that sneaky, half-predatory way of hers. "If you think she's interesting now, wait until I show you this."

Ymir grabs Historia's hand and is dragging her toward the dining hall before she has a chance to protest.

Chapter 2: Ymir

Summary:

Ten days before the day of disbanding.

Notes:

I forgot to note in the first chapter, but this fic was beta'd by the fantastic Celadon! Thank you, Cel!

Chapter Text

Ymir drags Krista into the dining hall, then quickly pulls them both behind the nearest support beam. A few heartbeats pass, Krista staring up at her curiously as she clutches the girl to her chest, then she glances out briefly to survey the area.

The first thing she notices is that no one is looking at the pillar where they're hiding, which means they weren't noticed in the moment it took them to hide. Good. The best observations are made when your subject doesn't know that you're looking, and the best way to keep your subject from noticing is to make sure no one else notices either.

The second thing she sees is that her target didn't get very far. Gabi is standing only a few paces inside the dining hall, locked in a conversation with Reiner. This is a good thing and a bad one. Good because catching Gabi talking to Reiner makes it a whole lot easier to show Krista what she plans on showing her, bad because they're too close to Ymir and Krista's hiding place to safely stay there.

That's fine. One of the best things about the dining hall is that as long as you don't look like you're watching, you can spy on whoever you'd like. It's tricky, but doable.

"Act natural," Ymir whispers as she drags Krista over to the closest table. Her steps are quick, but not so quick as to arouse suspicion.

"You're the one acting strange," Krista murmurs. She goes along with her though. When Ymir moves her hand over the top of the table, indicating that Krista should sit across from her, in the seat facing Gabi, she goes along with it without complaint.

"Now what?" Krista whispers.

"Now..." Ymir grins. Maybe it's a little too wide, but she's been waiting to show this to Krista ever since she noticed it herself. This little bit of confirmation that there's another liar in their group. "Look at Gabi and Reiner. Try not to stare too obviously, but look really closely. Pay attention to how they interact. Do you notice anything?"

"It's unfriendly," Krista says immediately. Ymir doesn't even need to turn around to know that much is true. Something about Reiner managed to strike the wrong chord in Gabi right from the get-go. In just the three short weeks she's been with them, their relationship has reached a point where the girl struggles to hold in the frustration she feels around him. It's almost reminiscent of Jean and Eren. Almost, but not quite.

The really strange part was that Gabi looked like she really wanted to be friends with Reiner at first. Instead, that intangible frustration built and she became the closest thing he has to an enemy among the 104th. And yet…

"Gabi's frustrated," Krista continues. "I... don't know why. I can't hear them very well from here."

"That's fine," Ymir assures her. "Just focus on the body language."

The truth is, the reason Gabi's upset doesn't matter. Reiner's general demeanor seems to be what sets her of. There's probably no limit to the number of things he could have said or done to get her in a mood.

(It's odd. Ymir would think that maybe she doesn't like overly friendly people or people who don't take things very seriously, but she has no problem with Connie or Sasha. She'd even go as far as to say that Braus is her closest friend among the cadets with how she hangs around her. It's only Reiner that sets her off.)

Krista nods, her eyes narrowing in concentration. The look it gives her is adorable, but if you know where you look, one can catch a glimpse of threatening intelligence that makes her all the more enticing. Ymir would consider herself lucky to be the only one who knows to look if it didn't mean Krista living a lie.

"Gabi's frustrated," Krista repeats. "Her jaw is clenched and she's making jerking hand gestures as she speaks. Her muscles are tense, but she's open and expressive; I think she's trying to make a point."

She pauses, a frown sliding across her lips. Ymir instantly knows what she's noticed and offers a small nod of encouragement. It earns her a small smile before Krista resumes speaking.

"Reiner's also tense and agitated, but he's more closed off. Far more than usual." That much is true. Reiner Braun is an open book for the most part, but in the weeks since her arrival, there have been several occasions where Gabi has said or done something to put him visibly on edge. Or at least, visibly by Ymir's standards. She doubts that any of her classmates are quite as observant. "I don't think he's scared," Krista continues, "but he is on edge. I don't think he knows what to make of Gabi. It's... weird. She's enough like Eren that I'd expect them to get along, but..."

Krista cuts herself off with a shake of her head. "They'll probably hate each other in a few years. Maybe less."

Ymir clicks her tongue. "You're right about most of it."

Krista raises an eyebrow. "Most?"

Ymir shoots a glance over her shoulder. It is quick enough to go unnoticed. As a consequence, it's also brief enough that she doesn't catch anything useful. She frowns. Going about it this way would be difficult for casual observation. For trying to catch a specific moment, it is entirely useless. Time for plan B.

She stands up and moves to the other side of the table. Sliding up beside Krista, she rests her hands on her shoulders and begins to rub. A grin slides across her face when she feels the blonde shiver beneath her touch.

"You're right," Ymir whispers into Krista's ear, earning herself another shiver in the process. "They're both on guard. Gabi's trying to say something, and Reiner either isn't hearing her message or isn't buying it. They don't trust each other either. But there's more to the situation than that. You just need to wait for it."

So they wait. Reiner says something, a wide grin plastered across his face despite his discomfort. Gabi scowls and crosses her arms, says something that makes Reiner's expression falter. There is a bit more seriousness in his face as he responds, but if it's enough to appeal to Gabi, she doesn't say it. She gives a short response. Reiner sighs, throws his hands in the air, and walks off.

Gabi gives Reiner's back a lingering look, and-

"There," Ymir whispers. "Do you see that?"

"I'm... not sure," Krista admits. "What am I supposed to be seeing?"

Desperation. It has the forced subtlety of someone who is frantically trying to school their expression, but there is desperation on Gabi's face. Desperation and grief, the unique despair of someone who is searching for something, reaching for someone, and always coming up short. Ymir isn't entirely sure how to describe all this to Krista though, not when the look will be gone in half a second and it's all extrapolation anyway. Instead, she says, "that's the sort of look you only give someone you love."

Krista hums, considering. "You think Gabi has a crush on Reiner?" she asks.

Ymir wrinkles her nose. "Maybe," she says, unconvinced. Something about a crush just doesn't seem to fit the situation quite right. However, she's also at a loss for what else it could be. "Whatever it is, there's definitely more going on than meets the eye."

Krista nods. "I see." Looking up at Ymir, she asks, "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

"Nope," Ymir says, playfully popping the 'P'. Her gaze tracks Gabi as she begins to make her way across the dining hall, her grin growing a little wider with each step she takes. "Dinner was a few hours ago, and Braus isn't down here tonight. Which means she's probably looking for-"

"-Eren," Krista finishes. "I know, she was asking about him earlier. So?"

" So, watch this."

They sit in silence as Gabi reaches Eren's table. Armin and Mikasa are there, of course. Armin politely greets Gabi, but is too caught up in his own conversation with Mikasa to pay much attention to the girl. Mikasa shoots her a wary glance when she slides into the seat next to her and keeps sending them, but that's nothing new or surprising. It only makes sense that Mikasa would have taken offense to the girl who spontaneously joined them at the tail end of training and taken such a liking to Eren. And of course, there is nothing to read between Gabi and Eren. The pair are friendly. They're too similar not to be.

At a glance.

Ymir and Krista end up sitting there for nearly half an hour. When Eren and Gabi get talking, they can talk. Krista sends her questioning glances at a few points, but never actually accuses Ymir of wasting her time. Instead, they end up cuddling together as they wait for the hotheads to have their fill of yammering. It's grueling, but worth the wait for what Ymir knows is coming.

Finally, Armin says something to the group. A few more words are exchanged, then Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are standing up and heading out. Ymir immediately jerks upright, gently elbowing Krista as a way of telling her to do the same.

It takes a moment. For such an impulsive spitfire, Gabi is making a clear effort to control herself. But there are some feelings that cannot be completely concealed no matter how hard you try. Once Eren and his friends are a safe distance away, Gabi's facade falters.

Krista's sharp intake of breath tells Ymir that she caught it. Because she's a smart-ass, Ymir narrates what they're seeing anyway. "And that, my dear Krista..."

She pauses, taking in the look on Gabi's face. The way the shadow in her eyes intertwines with feverish passion, the fury, the resolve.

"...That is what I call hatred."

Chapter 3: Armin

Summary:

Six days before the day of disbanding.

Notes:

Celadon is on vacation, so thank you to Scuttlingclaws for betaing this for me!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Armin is heading back to the boy's barracks when he notices Gabi approaching him. She's smiling. That much isn't surprising - Gabi tends to smile a lot. Something seems a little off about this one, but he can't put his finger on exactly what.

Odds are that he's just imagining things.

"Armin!" she calls. "Do you have a moment?"

"Uh," Armin hesitates, even though he really shouldn't. Training has slowed down as they creep closer to graduation and he doesn't have anything better to do right now. Besides, it's not like he has anything against Gabi. She's a little odd in ways that he can't quite place (probably imagining things) and her bold attitude means that she can be a lot at times, but it's not like the same things can't be said about Eren. So he shakes off his hesitation and offers her a smile. "Sure," he says.

Gabi gestures for him to follow her. As she leads him across the courtyard, she asks, "you like riddles and theoreticals and stuff, right?"

"I don't mind them," Armin answers honestly. He would suspect that the things he tends to muse on are a little more grounded in reality than whatever is likely to linger on Gabi's mind, but... he's aware that his thoughts and dreams regarding the outside world would be considered ridiculous by many. Perhaps he and Gabi are similar in that way.

"Great!" Gabi says. "What do you think about fortune tellers?"

"Fortune tellers?" Armin asks.

"Yeah! People who can see the future." Gabi steps in front of him and turns around to face him, but continues walking. "I was thinking about a story I heard when I was a kid. There was this person who knew the future of everyone around them. But they couldn't tell anyone that they knew the future."

"Why not?" Armin asks.

"That part got kinda complicated, but I think it was because they only knew the future. And the far-off future, at that. Most of the stuff they knew was far out enough that they couldn't use it as proof, and they didn't know enough about anyone's past to just use that."

"You've thought a lot about this," Armin says. He leans to the side as they began to draw close to a tree, then raises a hand and says, "uh, maybe you should-"

Too late. Gabi backs right into the tree with a faint 'oof'. Gabi looks up at it, frowning, then offers Armin a small smile. "Yeah, well. Let's say it's been haunting me lately."

Armin walks up the tree and leans beside Gabi. "I see," he says. "How does the rest of the story go?"

"It was left open to interpretation," she says. "Most of the bad things should have been pretty easy to change, but there were two people who caused trouble for the fortune teller. The first was the fortune teller's older brother. He meant the world to them, but he was also going to make all the wrong choices. They would pile up, and eventually, he would feel so guilty that he wished he was dead. The fortune teller tried to talk him out of the choices he was going to make, but they just couldn't get through to him. He kept acting ridiculous, careless and not like himself, and every time sh- they tried to get through to him, it just seemed to make it worse."

Gabi pauses and glances up at the branches of the tree. As she looks, a leaf flutters down to land on her face. She sputters for a moment before pulling it off and glaring at it.

"And the story doesn't say if they got through to him in the end?" Armin asks.

"No," Gabi says, a hint of frustration seeping into her voice. The hand holding the leaf drops back down to her side as she shifts to better look at Armin. "Like I said, it's open to interpretation."

Armin nods. He can tell that this is bothering her a lot more than she is trying to let on. Why, he cannot fathom. It's possible that she just doesn't like stories with open endings or is frustrated that she hasn't been able to come up with an ending she enjoys. Whatever the case, he supposes there isn't any harm in entertaining her.

"You're overthinking it," he says.

Gabi blinks. "I am?"

"You are," Armin confirms. "The fortune telling stuff doesn't matter at all. What you're asking is how to save someone from themselves, someone who doesn't want to listen."

Gabi frowns. "But the fortune telling stuff is why they can't just confront him about it," she protests.

"Not necessarily," Armin says. "There are plenty of cases where a direct confrontation will only make it worse. The situation with the big brother could be one of those."

"Oh," Gabi whispers. "Well... how do you think they should fix it?"

Armin smiles sadly. "I don't know," he says. "All I can think is for them to keep doing what they're doing. If they show that they care and don't give up on him, they might get through to him one day."

Gabi's gaze drops down to the leaf she's still holding. She opens her hand to let it flutter to the ground before asking, "and if they don't?" Something in her voice makes him suspect that this might not be about the story at all. He doesn't know anything about Gabi's life prior to joining the military. It's entirely possible that she's projecting, or even maybe making an indirect attempt at getting personal advice.

Well, if she is, that's none of Armin's business. He'll just do his best to help her with... whatever's going on. Even if he has to say something that he suspects she won't want to hear.

"You can't save someone who isn't willing to be saved," he says.

Gabi sniffs and looks back up at the branches of the tree. "I hate this story," she mutters. Then she looks back at Armin, a new strain of fire blazing in her eyes. "You're wrong, though. It is possible, and this does have a happy ending... somehow. I won't accept anything else."

Armin nods. "Alright," he says, because he can't think of anything else to say. "You said that there were two people causing the fortune teller problems. What was the other one?"

"The second person is a boy who was going to destroy the world."

Armin falters. He has absolutely no idea what that could possibly be a metaphor for, but it can't be anything good. That she would say something so outrageous does make it seem a little more likely that this really is just a story that she's gotten overly worked up about, but he isn't quite willing to stay quiet and take that gamble.

"Gabi," he slowly begins, equal parts hesitant and concerned, "if something's going on, you can-"

"Nothing's going on!" Gabi quickly says. She lets out a dismissive 'pfft' sound and shakes her head. "If it was, do you really think I'd disguise it in a ridiculous story about fortune telling and the end of the world? This really is just a story that's been bothering me."

Armin feels his anxiety begin to wash away. "Alright," he says. "And this part of the story was open-ended too?"

"Kind of," Gabi says, frowning slightly and averting her eyes. She catches herself and looks back at Armin before she continues. "It doesn't say how it ended, but the fortune teller decided to kill the one who would destroy the world."

Armin bites his lower lip. "I see. That part's... difficult."

"It is?" Gabi asked. "I thought it was way easier than the other one. Kill the boy, save the world."

"That's because it's a moral puzzle," Armin explains. "It's simple in the sense of direct cause and effect, but you also have to ask if it's right to kill someone for something that they haven't done yet."

"Isn't it?" Gabi asks. "I mean, it's the whole world at stake! What's one life compared to that?"

"But the fortune teller knows the future," Armin counters. "If they're already planning on saving the older brother... why not save this person as well, if they're still savable?"

"Because the older brother never tried to destroy the world," Gabi says, voice flat. She squints, then adds, "I thought the future stuff didn't matter."

"It didn't for the other question," Armin says. "It does for this one. I think..." He looks up at the leaves of the tree as he rakes his mind for answers. Suddenly, he can understand why this story bothered Gabi so much. He suspects that he'll be thinking about it for a while himself. "I think it's important to give him a chance. The fortune teller should see if there's a way to stop him without killing him, to see if he might be able to become a better person."

Gabi doesn't look convinced. "And if not?" she asks.

Armin sighs. "If it's the fate of the world at stake, then yes. If the fortune teller can't stop him from doing what he was going to do, then they would be morally obligated to kill him."

Gabi nods. "I thought so," she says, triumphant.

Armin shoots her a curious look. "If you were already settled on the answer, why did you ask me?" he asks.

"I wanted to ask you about the other one, and the two are kinda intertwined," she says.

"Kinda?" Armin mimics.

"Yeah," she says. "It was a... complicated story, and it's been a long time since I've heard it in full. I'm not sure I ever did, really. There are a lot of different versions."

Armin hums. "Maybe I'll get to hear the full thing someday," he says. It certainly sounds like an interesting tale. He'd probably be able to come up with a more solid answer to the riddles and moral conundrums if he knew all the details as well.

Gabi offers a small smile. Although he suspects that he's imagining things for the second time in this encounter, he thinks he catches a twinge of sadness in it. "Maybe someday," she says.

Notes:

Enjoying the fic so far? Please consider following me at BNHAyyy on tumblr or Museflight on twitter! I am always open for questions, comments, and DMs!

Chapter 4: Mikasa

Summary:

Five days before the day of disbanding.

Notes:

Thank you to Celadon for betaing!

Also, remember when I said that the chapter lengths for this fic are going to vary hilariously? Yeah, uhhh... Don't get too used to this length. There are some more long ones coming, but also some very short ones. I will try to keep chapter lengths consistent (and decent) when I move on to the main fic! But for Fortune's Harbinger itself, I'm kinda just doing what feels right. And Mikasa demande s.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Gabi gets under Mikasa's skin in a way that none of her other classmates do.

It's probably because Gabi isn't one of her classmates, not in any of the ways that count. Her classmates are the people whom she has spent the past three years training with and getting to know. Gabi is the girl who appeared out of nowhere and was thrown in among their group right as they reached the cusp of graduation.

There have been rumors, people talking about how the most skilled of the cadets must be taking the sudden arrival of a prodigy. The truth is, Mikasa doesn't care about that. She wouldn't care even if Gabi was a threat to her standing.

The thing that bothers her is how quickly she has integrated herself among the people she holds dear.

Sasha thinks she's great, and Gabi has spent a more than noteworthy amount of time by her side since joining the cadets. Eren thinks she's admirable and always seems willing to make time when she wants to talk. Armin, she knows, is a little intimidated by her, but even he is not immune to her charms. Mikasa noticed him having what seemed to be an in-depth conversation with her just the day before.

She doesn't know anything about Gabi Magnolia other than her name, the rumors, and what she has observed, yet the girl seems determined to make herself a staple in Mikasa's life. That is why, despite all the agitation itching just beneath her skin, she wakes up that morning and decides to seek her out.

It takes a while for her to get an opportunity. Graduation being only five days away means that they're no longer working themselves to the bone, but Shadis still finds ways to keep them busy for most of the day. In the moments when they aren't working on one meaningless task or another, Gabi's usually busy talking to someone.

Mikasa isn't so impatient that she's going to interrupt and pull her away from someone. That would make a private conversation harder and runs the risk of forcing her to field questions that she'd rather not deal with. So she waits. And just before dinner, when Sasha leaves barracks for the dining hall ahead of Gabi and Mikasa, she gets her opportunity.

"Gabi," Mikasa says, intercepting the shorter girl as she approaches the door. "Can we talk?"

A playful grin had been resting on Gabi's face. However, it falters as she faces Mikasa, and something in between hesitation and fear flickers in her eyes.

Gabi is a bold individual with a fiery personality. She hasn't faltered in the face of the apparent animosity between her and Reiner, isn't daunted by Ymir's prickly behavior or Annie's coldness, and even keeps up with Eren's own ferocity. Yet, for some reason, she falters in front of Mikasa. It's less noticeable when they're around other people, enough so that she suspects no one else has picked up on it. It isn't enough to make her avoid Mikasa's friends either. It's just enough to make her try to avoid being alone with her.

It's just enough to keep her a mystery.

To her credit, she doesn't try to duck out or run away. The moment passes, and Gabi manages to force a cheerful grin. There's still a bit of nervousness showing in her eyes - she isn't as good at disguising her feelings as she seems to think she is - but Mikasa opts not to comment on it. "Sure!" she says. "Is something wrong, or..."

Mikasa jerks her head for Gabi to follow her. She leads her out of the barracks and around the side of the building. Once they are behind it, she turns back to Gabi and asks, "why do you want to be a soldier?"

"Oh," Gabi breathes, leaning back against the wood paneling of the barracks. "That's a heavy question."

"It's an important one for getting to know someone," Mikasa says.

Gabi stills. Then she looks back up at her, a flicker of excitement dancing in her eyes. "You want to get to know me?" she asks.

Mikasa hesitates. It's not that she wants to get to know Gabi for her own sake. If she really was recruited by the scouts, then she supposes she'll eventually get to know her if she survives the titans, but she could graduate happily without investing any special time or energy in the girl. She's only reaching out now because she feels like she has to. However, there's a note of hope in Gabi's voice that makes her feel like she would be wrong for saying that, regardless of her personal feelings toward her.

So Mikasa goes for the easiest truth and simply says, "yes."

"Huh. I thought…" Gabi pauses as she adjusts to stand up a little straighter. "I got the impression that you didn't like me."

"You avoid me," Mikasa says, voice flat.

"Yeah, I kinda..." Gabi pauses and draws in a shuddering breath. Her gaze drops to her feet as she blurts out, words a little too rapid to be easily understandable, "I wanted to know you'd like me before getting to know you."

Mikasa blinks. "Why?"

"Well, you're..." Gabi raises a hand to rub the back of her head. "You're kind of intimidating."

Mikasa frowns. It's a good excuse, one that she would believe if it came from almost anyone else. However, there is one glaring problem in this case. "You aren't intimidated by anyone else," she points out.

It occurs to Mikasa that she could be wrong moments after she says the words. It's entirely possible that Gabi is intimidated by her other classmates and is just better at hiding it around them than her. She supposes it could be possible for the girl to be more scared of her than Annie or Reiner. Yet it just doesn't sit right.

She's left wondering for over half a minute. That's how long it takes for Gabi to slowly shake her head. When she starts speaking again, her words are careful, hesitant. "You're not intimidating because you're the top trainee or anything. You're intimidating because you remind me of someone."

Gabi pauses to glance at her, but Mikasa remains silent and unexpressive. Their eyes meet, and silence lingers for a moment longer before Gabi finally continues.

"I got lost once when I was younger. I was stuck with strangers, and scared, angry, and... really hard to deal with, honestly. Things got out of control, and there was an accident, and a woman who I barely knew saved my life even though she had no reason to. And you remind me of her."

"Oh," Mikasa murmurs. Oh, because she can't think of anything else to say. She wants to ask questions, ask what about her reminds Gabi of her savior, but it doesn't feel appropriate. She owes someone her life. That wasn't the sort of thing you just asked questions about. Truthfully, it's tempting to just give up on her interrogation and walk away right now.

But she can't. For Eren, Armin, and even Sasha's sake, she can't. She has to make sure that Gabi was actually good for them.

"You still haven't answered my question," Mikasa murmurs, a bit more reluctant than expected or planned. Maybe even a shade softer.

Gabi makes a noise that's somewhere between a scoff and a groan. "You really are stuck on that."

Mikasa shrugs, half-apologetic. "It's important," she says.

"Yeah," Gabi says, something melancholic creeping into her tone. "I guess it is." She looks upwards, inadvertently prompting Mikasa to follow her gaze. The sun is setting and the first stars are visible on the horizon.

"Maybe I should tell someone about it," Gabi murmurs. It sounds almost like she is talking to herself.

Even so, her words prompt Mikasa to say, "then talk."

"I lost my home twice," Gabi begins, her gaze still locked on the sky. Perhaps it is good that she's looking up, because Mikasa can feel her heart begin to sink with that single line. "The first time, I was lucky. It was just the physical place that was destroyed. I still had people. My parents, my aunt, a- an older brother. His friends, who became like a family after everything. My boyfriend. The grumpy old man we looked after, although it was more like he looked after us when our families couldn't."

Gabi falters, and Mikasa pretends that she can't hear her gasping in the unique way that happens when you're struggling to hold back tears. When Gabi finds her voice again, it is not without a fresh strain. She's doing a good job of holding it back, but by now, Mikasa knows the sound well enough to look for it.

"They're all gone now, and I don't think I'm ever going to see them again. I-I want to be a soldier because I know it's..." Another moment of hesitation. This time, when she snaps out of it, she forces herself to look Mikasa in the eyes, and when she speaks, an aching certainty has made its way into her voice. "It may not be what they would want me to do, but it's what would make them proud. It's what they would do, if they had the chance."

Mikasa's realization feels gradual even though it sets upon her in an instant. Perhaps that is an effect of the absolute certainty of it. It's written in the wretched combination of anger and grief in Gabi's eyes - a sight that Mikasa had once seen whenever she looked in the mirror. It tells her that what she says next is doubtlessly true.

"This happened recently."

Gabi smiles, shaky and fragile. "You're more perceptive than you seem."

Not really. She's just familiar with the experience Gabi described. Briefly, she wonders why the girl told her. How she was even able to, especially with the wounds so fresh. Mikasa never speaks about either of her worst days. For a heartbeat, she wonders if she should.

The notion evaporates as soon as it manifests. She may have found herself feeling for Gabi, for this unexpected similarity between them, but she still can't bring herself to give her past a voice.

"I was lost and confused for a while," Gabi continues, "but I needed a purpose, and I didn't want to stand around and waste any more time."

"So you scaled the walls," Mikasa finishes, the unspoken question ringing clear in her voice.

Gabi's chuckle is almost bashful, but a little closer to proud. "Hey, it got me noticed, didn't it?"

"It could have gotten you arrested," Mikasa points out.

"Yeah, well..." Gabi looks up at the sky again. Mikasa wonders if she believes in the afterlife, if she's trying to look for one of the people she's lost. "I heard a story about someone who got recruited by the survey corps after doing something similar, and I thought it was worth a shot. And I was. I mean, I didn't want to rush in and face titans right away, but... I proved that I don't need the extra training, and I'm still getting in a lot sooner than I would have otherwise."

There's a lot there that Mikasa could comment on. She ignores most of it in favor of asking, "who?"

Gabi looks back at her. A playful smile is teasing at her lips now, but it can't quite hide the lingering melancholy. "That's not my secret to tell," she says.

"Right," Mikasa sighs before glancing in the direction of the dining hall. Perhaps it is abrupt of her, but this conversation has been more tiring than she had expected it would be. Insightful, but tiring. So rather than attempting to continue the conversation, she looks back at Gabi and says, "we should get going before Sasha can eat everything."

Gabi grins, bright and hopeful. "Good idea," she says.

Mikasa still isn't sure what she thinks of Gabi. It's something that she'll have to think about for a while. But for this instant, she lets herself hope that she might not regret meeting her.

Notes:

So for anyone who didn't catch it, this is post-epilogue Gabi we're dealing with. ;) She's fifteen and has only been in the past for a few months.

Chapter 5: Eren

Summary:

Three days before the day of disbanding.

Notes:

Thank you Celadon for the beta! And yes, this part is very short, but like with Historia's, I felt that it did what it needed to do and didn't see a need to expand. That'll probably be the case with a couple other parts that are coming up. The next one, however, will be longer!

Chapter Text

Gabi flops into the seat beside Eren with a dramatic groan. "I can't believe you put up with three years of Shadis," she says.

"I think he's actually started to go a little easier on us over time," Eren replies. "You should have been there for the first day."

His comment elicits another groan from Gabi. "From the sound of it, I'm glad that I wasn't," she says.

Eren chuckles.

He likes Gabi. She's loud and outspoken, but still easy to get along with, unlike a certain horseface. Her energy fills up the room and makes her fun to be around in a way that reminds him of Reiner. The strength and skill she's demonstrated since joining the 104th make her someone to admire - another similarity. He'd say that she's also like Mikasa in that way if their personalities weren't so different.

"It must be really surreal for you, disbanding being so close," Gabi adds.

"And graduation," Eren reminds her. A tiny frown touches her lips - probably because she forgot the most important part.

"It is weird," he continues. "But… I'm okay with that. We need to graduate in order to move forward, and I'm ready to join the Survey Corps."

Finally.

"You're still planning on joining the Survey Corps, then?" Gabi asks.

"Of course!" Eren exclaims. "I've come this far, no way I'm backing down now!" He pauses as a thought occurs to him, a frown creeping across his features. "Don't tell me you're…"

Gabi scoffs, shakes her head, and holds her hands up. "No second thoughts here. Even if the other branches were an option for me, I want to join the scouts. I was just making sure you're still on board."

Eren grins.

That's one of the best things about Gabi, in his opinion. Even though she was too scared to face titans right away, she seems genuinely devoted to the Survey Corps.

He's looking forward to having her as a comrade after graduation.

"You don't have to worry about that," Eren says. "I've wanted to join the scouts ever since I was a kid, and nothing is going to stop me."

"Yeah," Gabi says. "I already know there's no changing your mind." She pauses, then meets Eren's eyes and offers a bright, fiery grin. "Good thing there's no changing mine either."

Chapter 6: Annie

Summary:

One day before the day of disbanding.

Notes:

Thank you to Celadon for the beta!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Annie opens her eyes to find Gabi staring at her from her bunk. She scowls, and the girl smiles sheepishly, but doesn't look away.

"You're up early," Gabi says. Her voice is a whisper, but in the silence of the early morning, it easily travels across the barracks.

"Hm." Annie looks away from Gabi and up at the ceiling. She focuses on it, every little groove and bump in the wood, and tries not to think about the dreams that had woken her up. If they can even be called that.

Her task is made infinitely harder by Gabi adding, "you looked like you were having a bad dream. Do you want to-"

"-No," Annie says, voice cold and firm. She does not want to talk about it.

She couldn't even if she wanted to. That's the thing about committing atrocities and planning murder. You end up with a truly inescapable weight on your chest, and you don't get to talk about it. If she tells Gabi, she will have to kill her, which would cause too many problems to be worth the momentary relief. If she didn't, she would surely tell people what she had done, then it would be Annie's own head on the chopping block.

Assuming that Reiner wouldn't kill her first. Or figure out that Gabi knew, intercept her, kill her himself, and then chew Annie out for her recklessness. She wouldn't put either option past him.

That is why she cannot talk to Reiner about her nightmares and doubts. She doesn't know how much of his care for her and Bertolt is genuine and how much is his attempt to mimic Marcel. She suspects that his affection for the Paradisians is genuine. But it will not stop him. Hypocrite that he is, if Annie were to approach him and share her feelings, he would accuse her of getting too attached and growing disloyal.

Bertolt wouldn't, but he's enough of a nervous wreck without her dumping her own issues on him. He wouldn't be able to provide her with a solution anyway. No one could find an answer to this.

Except, maybe...

No. Armin Arlet would be one of the worst people for her to talk to, regardless of what treacherous thoughts she may have.

The point remains. She cannot talk to Armin about her feelings and will not talk to Reiner or Bertolt, so she certainly will not be spilling to Gabi.

Unfortunately, Gabi doesn't seem to understand this. She is silent for one peaceful moment, then starts talking again, her voice careful and balanced. "You know Annie, if you're sad or need advice or just... someone to talk to, there's no harm in opening up to someone."

With a sigh, Annie turns her head back to face Gabi. "And why would I open up to you?" she asks, voice flat.

Gabi gives a nervous chuckle and runs a hand through her hair. "You sound kinda like Mikasa."

Annie frowns. "Excuse me?"

"It's because you don't know me well, right?"

She's right. That's why Annie turns her gaze back to the ceiling and says, "or maybe I just don't like you."

Annie doesn't dislike Gabi. She wouldn't say that she likes her - if the rumors about her scaling the wall are true, then she is even more of an impulsive fool than Eren, but without his foolishness to defend her poor decisions - but her fire and drive are admirable. The confidence with which she carries herself is infectious. It makes Annie suspect that she could get far in life, assuming she doesn't give in to her recklessness and get herself killed. However, Gabi doesn't know this, and right now, she would rather the girl just assume she dislikes her and give up on this conversation.

It doesn't work. Gabi laughs, quiet and uncomfortable, but pushes on anyway. "I suppose that could be it," she says.

"It is," Annie insists, because one more lie won't hurt her.

Gabi sighs. "Yeah, well. It doesn't have to be me. Find someone whose advice is worth listening to. Someone... someone who makes you willing to put your heart in their hands."

"Put my heart in their hands?" Annie repeats, momentarily dumbstruck that she just heard Gabi of all people say something like that. She stews on it for a moment, then rolls her eyes. "Romantic bullshit."

Besides. Annie doesn't have a heart to give.

"Romance isn't bullshit!" Gabi protests, voice hitching up with her vehemence. "It's enlightening. With the right person, it can help you grow and become better, and-"

A groan rises from one of the bunks. "Gaaaaabiiiiii," Sasha's voice drags out, exhaustion punctuating every syllable.

Annie turns her head over in time to see Gabi wince. "Sorry, Sasha." She looks genuinely contrite... for all of about ten seconds. Then she climbs down from her bunk, pads over, and squats down beside her. Annie manages to make out her saying, "but you know, you have to wake up in a couple of hours anyway."

"But that's a couple of hours," Sasha protests. "What are you even doing up so early."

"The person I lived with said that time spent sleeping in was time wasted," Gabi replies. "He got me in the habit of waking up early, and I guess I haven't lost it."

"Well, he was wrong. It's time to sleep."

Annie can't make out Gabi's expression, but it sounds like she's frowning as she says, "but we could-"

"Gabi." There is a moment of pause before Sasha springs upright, latches her arms around Gabi's waist, and pulls her into her bed. " Sleep."

A startled laugh erupts from Gabi's lips.

It is immediately followed by a tired, deeply disgruntled voice from the bunk above Sasha. "Gabi. Sasha."

Both girls freeze. "Ah," Sasha squeaks out. "Sorry, Mikasa."

"We'll be quiet," Gabi adds.

True to their word, they both lapse into quiet as Gabi squeezes herself into Sasha's bunk. Annie thinks she hears a few whispers, but they aren't loud enough for her to make anything out. Not that she has reason to want to hear anything that those two could be talking about. Knowing Sasha, they'll probably end up falling back to sleep soon anyway.

Annie slips out of her bed and starts getting dressed. She knows that there will be no more rest for her.

Notes:

If you enjoy my writing, please consider leaving a comment or supporting me on twitter at Museflight or tumble at BNHAyyy!

Chapter 7: Reiner

Summary:

The night of disbanding.

Notes:

Thank you to Celadon for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Reiner can't help but smile at the excitement pulsating through the air. Eren and Jean's fight, while disruptive, wasn't enough to kill the atmosphere. Not even Eren passing out was enough to kill the mass jubilation at the 104th training corps finally being disbanded. At least... not fully.

Reiner frowns into his drink. He thinks that Mikasa interrupted before either of the morons could be injured. Even if the fight were allowed to go longer, he knows that they don't fight with any real intent to injure. The odds of either of them getting seriously injured in one of their fights was very low. It's more likely to be an accident than anything else. And even if there was an accident, Jean would be more likely to be hurt than Eren, considering the latter's prowess with hand-to-hand combat.

But for Eren to just collapse like that... maybe there was something that he'd missed? Jean could have gotten in a lucky blow that accidentally landed too hard. Hell, maybe he's getting sick. Reiner doesn't even want to think about how Eren will react if he isn't allowed to attend the selection ceremony with the rest of them. With his contagious dedication to the survey corps, he'll want to be able to stand up there so everyone can see the moment he finally devotes his heart.

Of course, it might also be nothing. He could just be too tired, or too excited, or any other number of things.

He should go check on him.

Reiner sets his cup down on a table and is heading out to do just that when he hears someone following him. The footsteps are soft, clearly capable of being quiet, but rapid, not making any serious attempts at stealth right now. That alone gives him an idea of who it is, confusing though it may be.

Indeed, a few seconds later, he hears Gabi Magnolia call, "wait up!"

Her voice is bright. That makes it a little easier for Reiner to hold back a frown. Maybe she's in a good enough mood that she won't find a reason to chew him out this time.

"Gabi," he says. With a little effort, he's able to keep the wariness out of his voice.

"Reiner," she returns, pulling up to walk alongside him. She isn't quite as good at disguising her feelings as he is. Now that he's paying closer attention, he can tell that she's a little on-edge about something. He simultaneously understands and doesn't. On one hand, they don't exactly have the best relationship. However, that's hardly his fault. He went out of his way to treat Gabi the same way he did his other comrades when she showed on. She's the one who took offense to him for some reason that she's never bothered to properly explain.

Part of him wonders if she suspects that he might join the survey corps and is trying to turn over a new leaf now that they're about to graduate. He doubts it. Her stubbornness makes him think of a much less pleasant Eren. It's far more likely that she needs something from him. Or maybe she's finally going to tell him what her problem with him is. Wouldn't that be fun.

They spend several minutes walking toward the boy's barracks in silence. Gabi keeps shooting him odd, anxious glances when she thinks he isn't looking. Reiner does her the favor of pretending that he doesn't notice.

Finally, she asks, "are you checking on Eren?"

"Yeah," Reiner says. "Aren't you?" That would be one reasonable explanation for why she's pestering him, they both happened to be walking in the same direction and Gabi thought it would make sense for them to walk together.

But she shakes her head. "I already did earlier. Mikasa's keeping an eye on him."

"I'd be surprised if she wasn't," Reiner said. Mikasa is terrifying in her intensity, but no one can fault her devotion to the people she cares about the most. Eren is lucky to have her.

"Yeah," Gabi says. She looks down at her feet, and Reiner almost thinks he sees a frown wander across her face. Her expression is neutral when she looks back up, so he dismisses it as a trick of the shadows. "I was actually hoping to talk to you," she says.

"Why?" Reiner asks.

She doesn't respond, so Reiner stops walking, causing Gabi to come to a halt beside him. "Gabi, we all know you don't exactly like me," he says.

"You don't know that," Gabi protests. The words sound weak and half-hearted.

Reiner raises an eyebrow. "Really? So I'm not 'reckless, irresponsible, and immature'?"

Gabi's slung a few more accusations his way since he's met her, with her quick tongue and lack of filter, but those are the ones that catch on him. No one else has accused him of the first two, save for maybe Annie. As for the last, Reiner can admit that he is a little immature at times. However, Gabi has seemingly no problem with how Sasha and Connie behave on a regular basis. So why is it different when it's him?

He doesn't know. By the look of it, Gabi doesn't have an answer either. Or she does, but isn't willing to share it for some reason. She flounders for several moments before lamely saying, "so I have some problems with how you behave. That doesn't mean I don't like you."

"Could have fooled me," Reiner mutters.

Gabi looks guilty for one confusing, yet admittedly somewhat satisfying, moment. It's gone in a heartbeat, replaced with bold impertinence. "Yeah, well." She crosses her arms and tilts her chin up. "Can we talk or not?"

"We are talking," Reiner retorts.

"In private," Gabi clarifies.

Reiner stares at her, and after a moment, she falters. "Please," she murmurs. "It's important."

He doesn't have any idea what important thing she might need to talk to him about. Yet something about the way her gaze drops and some of the strength leaves her shoulders gets to him. Maybe he's an idiot for going along with this when he knows that the conversation will probably turn sour before very long, but...

Reiner sighs. "Fine."

Gabi doesn't quite light up. She appears more cheerful, but as he follows her along the side of the barracks, passing under flickers of lamplight, he's able to catch glimpses of something shadowed and haunted. Maybe she's more anxious about graduation than she lets on. Could that be it? She needs comfort and decided to go to him? He can see one of the other cadets turning to him, but Gabi? It feels unreal.

His classmate comes to a stop once they're behind the barracks. For a moment, she just stares at Reiner, looking for all the world like she doesn't know what to see. If she were someone else, this is probably where Reiner would get the conversation started to help her out. But she isn't, so he just crosses his arms and waits for her to begin.

Finally, she asks, "your goal is to return to your hometown, right?"

Reiner blinks, and-

-he is shaken out of the joyous mood shared by the Paradisian cadets, a mood that he knows will not last beyond tomorrow, as the weight of reality settles back around his shoulders.

"Yes," he says, because it is true for all that it is a lie, and this girl who shares the same name of his cousin does not need to know the false elements. Even if his home isn't where he says it is, he can tell her that he wants to go back. He can tell her that he misses it without telling her about the people he misses.

The best lies contain a shred of truth. And his need to see his family again is more than a shred.

At that moment, Reiner is certain that Gabi will talk about her reasons for joining the military, or maybe talk about her own home. Based on what she thinks she knows, it would make sense for her to go to him if she lost her own home in the fall of Wall Maria and wants to reclaim it. Not as much sense as if she had turned to Eren, but maybe she has enough of her own fire and wants something else right now. Maybe she doesn't want to put the weight of her goals on Armin when he already has to contend with Eren's. Whatever her reasoning, he is certain that he knows what she is going to say next.

Nothing could have prepared him for what she actually asks.

"What if you can't?"

Reiner blinks, not quite believing in what he just heard. "Excuse me?"

"What if you can't?" she repeats.

"I thought you were all for retaking Wall Maria for humanity," Reiner says, the words slipping from his lips before he can stop them, a shade more bitter than they perhaps should be.

"I am!" she cries, waving a hand frantically. "That's... that's now quite what I meant. It's more like..."

Gabi frowns, puzzling over her words. Reiner is careful to keep his expression neutral as he stares at her, but on the inside, he cannot ignore the alarm bells going off in his head. Why is she asking him about his desire to go home? If she isn't suggesting that the Paradisians cannot retake Wall Maria, then what is she talking about?

Rumor has it that Gabi Magnolia was scouted by the Survey Corps after they caught her climbing the wall, but no one knows where she came from beyond that. Reiner had assumed that she was yet another refugee from Wall Maria and just didn't like talking about her experiences. But now, for the first time, he finds himself suspicious of the girl who appeared out of nowhere.

And he feels stupid for only just now feeling suspicious. He'll need to talk to Annie and Bertolt about her later, see if any of them have had their own odd encounters with Gabi.

Meanwhile, Gabi seems to have finally found her words. "I'm worried that you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. If you focus too much on the past, you can lose sight of what's in front of you."

"What are you talking about?" Reiner asks. It might make him seem a little dense, but it shifts the subject away from him and toward Gabi, which he very much needs right now.

"What I mean is..." Gabi bites her lower lip and wrings her hands in front of her, then drops them to her side when she resumes speaking. "I lost my home, and while I'd love to see my family and friends again, I've accepted that I never will. Because even if it was possible, if I tried, I wouldn't be able to fight my best, and the people I care about could get hurt."

She pauses again. When she resumes speaking, there is a desperate fire in her eyes and voice, like Eren when he talks about driving out the titans. "Reiner, you care about your friends right? You want to protect them and see them happy."

"Of course," Reiner says, because it's true to a degree. They may not be his friends, but the island devils aren't as bad as he thought they would be. He just can't let the happiness of the island devils be the priority, not when the well-being of the rest of the world is on the line.

"Sometimes you can't go home," Gabi says. "I know it hurts, but if you accept it, you can build a new one with the people you've come to care about. You can keep them from getting hurt again and make a future where you all can be happy. But I don't think you'll be able to do that if you keep focusing on the past - not really."

Reiner frowns, because he and Gabi aren't friends. Because even if these are just well-meaning words from a classmate, she is crossing a line and cannot truly expect him to just stay quiet and take it. "My family-"

"I know," Gabi says. "And I know it hurts, and I'm sorry. But you need to let them go, Reiner. For your own sake, and the sake of everyone you care about and who cares about you."

She doesn't know what she's talking about, she can't. Or she does and he has a much bigger problem on his hands. Which country would have sent her, he wonders? Is her training lacking, for him to start seeing through her act, or is it all part of a greater scheme?

It's too early to tell anything for sure, but he hopes that she really just is a girl with no filter who doesn't really know what she's talking about. It would make things so much easier. Either way, he'll need to keep an eye on her after this.

Assuming she survives tomorrow.

She doesn't know that death is breathing down her neck though, and he cannot risk her cluing in on what he is thinking, just in case the worst-case scenario turns out to be the truth. So he sighs heavily and closes his eyes, like her words are actually getting to him. "What would you have me do, Gabi?" he asks.

"The same thing I'm doing," she says. Her voice is unmistakably mournful for all of its resolve. For a moment, before he catches himself and remembers that he doesn't know how good of an actress this girl is, he can't help but ache for her. He allows that would-be sympathy to show on his face as she continues, "live the life that you've made here. Don't risk your future for the sake of your past. You've made good friends, Reiner. Hold them tight and do everything you can to protect them."

Reiner sighs and opens his eyes. "You... you may have a point," he says, because it's what she wants to hear, and thus the easiest way out of this conversation. The most reliable way to get her off his back. "It's... just not very nice to think about."

"I know," Gabi says again. "Believe me, I do. What I'm asking you to do is hard and scary. But you have to. If you don't, I'm scared that you might regret it, and... even if we don't get along, I don't want you to be unhappy, Reiner."

It's such a bold move on her part, it almost makes him inclined to believe that she really is just nosy and too sure of her own judgment. Only a moron would try to eliminate a Marleyan warrior by all but asking them to defect to Paradis.

Yet he cannot rule out the possibility.

Ploy or not, it's not going to work. Reiner's mind is set and the plan is in place. She can say what she likes, but there is nothing about the plan that he is going to regret. The people here are not truly his friends. The crimes of the past cannot be forgotten, and he certainly is not going to save them from their fate. What he is going to do is go home and see his family again. He wants to hear his mother say that she's proud of him. He wants to talk to his aunt and uncle, see what kind of person his Gabi grows up to be.

Nothing that this girl says is going to change that. But he cannot let her know that, so he says, with all the exhaustion of someone who really is giving up on their family, "I think... I'll try to do what you said."

Gabi smiles, and he cannot help but feel a ridiculous pang of guilt at the genuine joy and relief in her eyes. "That's all I can ask."

Notes:

The sun shines warmly down on the streets of Trost.

Chapter 8: Bertolt

Summary:

Trost.

Notes:

Sorry for the delay in posting! I gave this chapter some pretty heavy edits before calling it complete. Had to make sure I got the emotions right, you know?

Thank you to Celadon for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The sun shines warmly down on the streets of Trost. It is a bright, cheerful day; the district is milling with bright, cheerful people.

How many of them will be dead by sundown?

There is a lump in his stomach, made of guilt, dread, despair, and everything he cannot afford to feel right now. Every time he lets his guard down and allows himself to feel, it reaches up through his throat and tries to choke him. So he remains on alert and forces a disconnect between his mind and emotions, tries to see what is going on around him without feeling it.

Even so, it is difficult for Bertolt to maintain his composure. His classmates are out and about today, just as oblivious to the fate that awaits them as the civilians they are milling with. He knows that this is a good thing, even if it makes him feel cold and shaken. They cannot know that he knows anything more than them. It is important that he appears inconspicuous today. Yet he can't help but be a little more on edge, stepping that much more carefully and sweating just a tad more.

And the kicker? It doesn't even matter that he's acting a little odd, because with graduation on the immediate horizon, everyone is anxious or distracted. Today, somewhat abnormal behavior is normal. He would call it a stroke of luck, but he knows better than that. Reiner probably accounted for it when he decided to insist that they make their move today.

Even if someone notices that something is off about him, they won't be able to truly read him.

There is no preventing what is to come.

"Bertolt!" a bright voice calls, making him pause.

Usually, Bertolt is intimidated by Gabi. The way she didn't hesitate to throw herself in among the other cadets despite her late arrival speaks of a boldness that Bertolt couldn't even dream of managing himself. Like Eren, her fire and willpower are as frightening as they are inspiring. Unlike Eren, the suddenness of her arrival, the rumor that she was scouted directly by the Survey Corps, speak of unmistakable danger. He doesn't know how much merit he gives the theory that Reiner shared with him this morning, but if she is talented enough to catch the eyes of the scouts themselves, she poses at least some level of threat.

She is unlikely to survive the day. Perhaps that is why he does not why he is not as off-put as he would usually be when he hears her calling approach. The knowledge of her likely demise shatters the illusion of a force of nature, leaving only a girl in its wake. It makes his stomach twist and something painful flutter in his chest. At the same time, the inevitability of it all allows him to clamp down on the feeling enough that it does not tear him apart at the seams. He probably looks only a few steps away from a nervous wreck, but that, he knows, is not too different from how he normally looks.

Maybe Reiner is right and Gabi is a spy. Maybe she's just an exceptionally talented girl who isn't afraid to insert herself into the lives of the 104th. It does not matter, for this is the day that he becomes a monster twice over, and no one person stands any real chance of making a difference in the face of what is to come.

Of course, Gabi does not know about what all lingers in his mind. She approaches unabashedly, Sasha trailing a few steps behind her. She keeps walking forward until she is only a few short paces away, at which point she stops and asks, "Are you excited for graduation?"

Sasha shoots her a look that is curious and impatient, but Gabi seems unconcerned, focusing solely on Bertolt.

"Of course," Bertolt says, and he is relieved to find that his voice isn't shaking half as much as he thought it would. Perhaps the disconnect is spreading, making it easier for him to play his part as his feelings separate themselves from his mind and body in preparation for the deed. "I still can't believe that I made the top ten."

"You got third !" Gabi says, enthusiasm glimmering in her voice. "You're joining the Military Police, right?"

"That's the plan," Bertolt replies.

Gabi nods in approval. "Good. You should stick with it."

Beside her, Sasha gasps. "But Gabi, I thought you hated the unicorn brigade !" she teases.

Gabi pulls a face and reaches over to mess up Sasha's hair. Sasha darts to the side and smacks at Gabi's hand with her own, leading Gabi to smack back. This continues for a few seconds before Gabi says, " hush, you. I know what I say-"

"-You're almost as bad as Eren," Sasha accuses.

"-But that's for people who are a good fit for the Survey Corps, like me and Mikasa and Je- you."

"Were you about to say Jean?"

"No."

"You were ." Sasha points at Gabi, drama etched across her face, and declares, "You want Mister Military Police to join the Survey Corps! And you thought of him before me !"

"It's- I just-" Gabi gestures uselessly for a moment before admitting, "I think he could be good for it, if he comes to his senses."

"If he knows that you said that-"

"Don't tell him !"

Sasha laughs and holds her hands up innocently. "I won't," she says.

"Good," Gabi says. Some of the energy seems to leave her as she turns back around to face Bertolt. Instead, her expression settles into a smile that is as worn and tired as it is genuine and hopeful. "I know that I talk a lot about the Survey Corps, but I think that the Military Police would be good for you," she says. "I mean, if no one new joins, they won't get any good people and will keep being a gang of lazy layabouts. You could have a good life there and help people, maybe even help make the unicorns into something decent."

Reality, the fact that Gabi and Sasha are likely to die today, shifts back into focus enough that it makes it difficult to smile. He handles it by thinking about something other than reality. He imagines what he would say if he wasn't a lying murderer. "Thanks. I'm... glad I have your approval."

Now that he says it, he can't help but wonder if he should be a little insulted by the fact that Gabi doesn't think he should join the survey corps, but he dismisses it. This is probably the last pleasant interaction he will have before everything goes to hell for the 104th. He might as well savor it - or come as close as he can to savoring it when he is unable to escape his role. He can enjoy it from the emotional distance necessary to prevent himself from crumbling along with the wall.

"Gabi," Sasha hisses, leaning forward to put a hand on Gabi's shoulder. "We should-"

"Yeah," Gabi says, nodding. "I know."

She pauses, looking over at Bertolt. "Do you want to come with us?" she asks. "Sasha and I are going to rai-"

Sasha slaps a hand over Gabi's mouth with a squawk. "Gabi! Sensitive information !" she cries.

Gabi rolls her eyes, but nods obligingly. Sasha still eyes her suspiciously for a moment, but ultimately lowers her hand and steps away. "Sorry, Bertolt," she says, "apparently that's not an option. But... I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure," Bertolt says, keenly aware of the probability that it's a lie.

Gabi flashes him a grin before Sasha drags him off to their mystery mission, which he suspects is raiding the officer's pantry. As he watches them disappear around the corner, a realization occurs with him.

There's no way that Gabi is a spy. She was too at ease in front of him to have known who she was talking to, let alone someone who suspects what's about to happen. He is well aware that she might just be a good actress. There's also the possibility that she is arrogant enough to think that she has already done something to make the warriors cease their attack on Paradis. But there is another, more likely option, painful though it may be to admit.

Reiner hasn't been doing as well as he wanted everyone to think. Bertolt sometimes imagines what it would be like if he really were Paradisian, but Reiner… it's different with Reiner. There are moments of forgetfulness, times when he says or does something that makes it seem like he really believes his act. It's like his armor is cracking, the shield of Marley shifting to protect the wrong people entirely. The process is slow, held back by the bonds shackling them to their home, and Bertolt takes some comfort in the knowledge that he can probably still pull him out of it. However, he cannot afford to deny Reiner's instability altogether. Taking that into account... it wouldn't be unthinkable for him to start showing signs of paranoia as well.

Bertolt allows the weight of his situation to crash over him for a moment, exhausting and horrible.

Then he pulls himself together and forces himself to push his feelings aside once again. Right now, it doesn't matter what is or isn't happening. None of it will have any effect on the events of the day.

It's time to destroy the wall.

Not even half an hour later, the Colossal Titan stands before the gate of Trost. A handful of cadets stand atop the wall. In the brief moment that he has to take them in, it is Eren who most draws his eye. However, as he moves to kick in the gate, he cannot help but glance at Gabi.

The look on her face is one of true despair.

It does not matter.

The wall breaks.

And the battle for Trost begins.

Notes:

Here's what's going to happen. I'm not planning on re-writing the Battle of Trost wholesale; I'm continuing the pattern of each chapter being a character having a moment with Gabi. This means that you'll only see snapshots of the actual battle. However, I'm hoping that those snippets will be enough to put the big picture together and understand what all stays the same... and, ultimately, what changes.

Chapter 9: Connie

Summary:

The Battle for Trost.

Notes:

Thank you to Celadon for the beta!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Something is wrong with Gabi.

Something is wrong with all of them in the sense that titans are streaming into Trost and they're probably all going to be eaten, but-

Something is wrong with Gabi.

Prior to today, if someone had asked Connie who amongst the 104th would best handle a repeat of the fall of Wall Maria - well, first he would ask why the hell they were asking him something so fucked up. After that, he would have listed Gabi among the people who were most likely to be able to handle it, right up there with Mikasa and Reiner.

That's... sort of what's happening. She kinda froze up when the Colossal Titan first appeared, but so did a lot of them. She snapped out of it quickly enough to save herself from falling off the wall and has been moving ever since then.

The odd thing is that moving is all she's doing. Gabi isn't a quiet person, but she's barely uttered a word since the battle started. No response to Ymir's constant yammering. No bragging or celebration when she successfully took down a titan - the first member of their squad to actually get one. She barely even seems frightened of the titans. Normally that would be cool, but right now, with how very hollow she seems as she tries her best to follow orders, it just feels wrong .

Connie doesn't know what to think of it.

It all comes to a head when they come across Armin. At first, Connie is confused about why he's all alone and covered in slime, wonders where the rest of his squad is. Then Ymir reveals the horrible truth in the most insensitive way possible. From there, it all turns into chaos. Connie snaps at Ymir, Armin slides deeper into hysterics, and Krista attempts to play the peacekeeper. However, before she can get more than a few words out, Gabi falls to her knees.

Everyone in their little group looks at her, even Armin. He even opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Connie isn't surprised; the look of despair on Gabi's face is too close to his own for him to possibly stand a chance at pulling himself together enough to help her.

Gabi moves a hand up to cover her mouth, but is unable to stop a pained whimper from escaping.

"Gabi..." Krista whispers. She moves to step toward the other girl, but is stopped by Ymir's hand on her shoulder.

"Don't," Ymir warns. She gives Gabi a long look and then scoffs, shaking her head. "Someone like her - she was bound to break eventually. Just sucks that it happened here, " she mutters, voice low enough that Connie barely picks up on it. He doubts that he was supposed to.

He glares at Ymir anyway. She returns it with a flat look. That she would say that right now, right in front of Armin and Gabi when they're in this state, sends something hot and angry rushing through his blood. He's considering returning to his previous topic of how much of a poisonous bitch she is, when he notices that Gabi is talking to herself.

Connie quickly glances at Armin. When he's content that Gabi's unexpected breakdown has successfully distracted him from his own for the time being, he takes a few hesitant steps toward Gabi.

She doesn't notice his approach, her gaze darting across the ruined streets beneath the rooftop they're on. As he watches, she draws the hand over her mouth up to rest against the side of her head and pushes her fingers into her hair. It looks more like she is tugging it than combing through it, the movements sharp and anxious.

"...my fault," he hears her whisper. The words make him stop dead in his tracks. "Because I was foolish. I'm a fool, and this is-"

"No, it's not," Connie says.

Gabi's head turns over to look at him. Her expression is sharp and distant at the same time, and he cannot even begin to imagine what she's thinking. It makes him acutely aware of how much he doesn't know about this girl. He was already aware that none of them actually know her very well, not even Sasha, but this is the first time that it feels important, because not knowing what she's thinking makes it that much harder to know what to say. But she doesn't say anything, just stares at him with that feverish, lost, wretched look, and he knows that he has to do something.

"It's not your fault," Connie repeats. "The colossal titan kicked Trost's gate in. What could you have hoped to do about that ?"

"So much," Gabi whispers, voice hoarse. "Eren. I thought I had more time."

Connie doesn't know what to say to that. More time to what? Was there something she wanted to tell him, something she wanted to do? Did she think that she could protect him if she just got to him before a titan could? If willpower and a wish like that would have been enough to save Eren, then Mikasa would have had him covered. He can't say that though. He also can't tell her that she wouldn't have been able to save him even if she was there. He's seen her in action and knows that she may have been able to save Eren. He definitely doesn't know how to handle some delusion that she could have done something about the colossal titan . So what-

"He's right," a new voice says. Connie looks over his shoulder to see Armin approaching them. He looks shaken and miserable, fresh tears still glistening in his eyes, but his voice is firm for all that it is soft. "None of this is your fault, Gabi."

Gabi blinks. She looks at Connie and Armin like she's seeing them for the first time. It makes Connie wonder what she was thinking when she was speaking before. "Connie?" she whispers. "Armin?"

"Who else?" Connie asks in an attempt to draw her out of whatever abyss she's fallen into. He isn't sure if that sort of lightness is even somewhat appropriate at the moment, but it's all he can think to do, so he rolls with it.

Gabi doesn't smile, but her expression goes a little wobbly and he thinks that he sees a hint of hope and warmth break through the utter misery.

Armin seems to take it as a good sign, because he kneels down in front of Gabi and continues speaking. "You're far stronger than me, and if you were here... if you had been here, maybe things would have turned out differently. But you're only human, Gabi. You can't be in more than one place at once, and you weren't assigned to our squad. You were where you were supposed to be, and no one can fault you for that. Eren's death..." Armin swallowed heavily. "Eren's death might be because of me, but only his. I didn't make this happen, and neither did you. The Colossal Titan did. And even if there was something that we could have done to stop it, there's no going back now. All we can do is keep going and do our jobs. We... We owe it to Eren."

Gabi had started crying at some point during Armin's speech. She didn't make any move to wipe the tears away. They dripped freely down her face as she nodded and whispered, "You're right. Thank you, Armin." She stood up on unsteady legs and held out a hand to pull Armin up. Once they were both standing, she added, "You're wrong about one thing though. You aren't any more responsible for what happened to Eren than I am."

Armin started to open his mouth, but before he could get a word out, Ymir cut in with, "So, are we going to regroup? Or are we just going to stand around continuing the water-works until we all get eaten?"

Connie turned a sour look on Ymir at the same time as Krista. However, it was Armin who spoke first. "Ymir's right. We need to get moving."

"Yeah," Gabi said, her voice hoarse, but regaining some of its strength. "We still need to reclaim Trost."

It was a completely insane statement, especially from a girl who had been breaking down moments before. Yet the way she said it, like it was a statement of fact, almost made Connie wonder if it might actually be possible.

Notes:

We are officially into the Battle of Trost!

Enjoy this fic? Consider following my on tumblr at BNHAyyy or twitter at Museflight! I'm especially prone to posting snippets of my WIPs and asking which fic I should work on for a given day on twitter. ;)

Chapter 10: Sasha

Summary:

The Battle for Trost.

Notes:

Sorry for the delay in getting this one up! And once again, thank you to Celadon for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

She barely escaped Trost with her life, and now they want her to go back in.

Sasha locks her knees in order to keep them from giving out. Her legs and hands still shake, but she supposes that's fine. She knows that the way she's holding herself has to be a far cry from Pixis, standing high and proud atop Wall Rose, or Eren, holding himself determinedly beside him, but that's alright. Only a crazy strong person could look proud and hopeful right now. Crazy strong, or maybe just plain crazy. Sasha isn't either of those things, but she also isn't actively crying, which puts her several steps above the people walking away around her. She doesn't even walk away when Pixis says that deserters won't be punished.

But none of that means anything. Just because she isn't crying on her knees or running away doesn't mean that she isn't scared. That isn't new, of course. She's been trying to be hopeful and optimistic, but the truth is, she's been terrified ever since the wall fell. This fear is different because she is being asked to turn around and walk back into Trost despite it. Sort of. Pixis said that deserters won't be punished today, that they have no use for soldiers who have already given into fear, but as she watches, he goes on to talk about all that they will be risking if they run. With a sinking feeling in her gut, she comes to understand that desertion isn't really an option at all. After hearing all that, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't try to help with the operation.

So Sasha is going to take her shaking hands and unsteady legs and walk back into Trost, no matter how much she wants to run. It doesn't really matter to her that Eren can turn into a titan and they have a plan to reclaim the district. Well, it matters, but it doesn't do anything to steady her limbs, push back the bile rising up her throat, or free her from the sense of doom breathing down her neck.

The would-be deserters aren't walking away anymore. Sasha notices, but doesn't so much as glance at them. Her gaze is locked on Pixis and Eren. As she stares up at them, a thought breaks through her resolve, not breaking it, but definitely making it hurt a lot more.

I'm going to die today.

Someone reaches out to take her hand. Sasha startles, then turns her head to see Gabi. She is standing straight and staring up at the wall with an unknowable fire burning in her eyes, crazy strong or just plain crazy. Connie told her that she'd had some sort of breakdown before they all met up; it's part of the reason Sasha's been sticking by her since they got back over the wall. She had wanted to be there for her if she needed help. Now, though, she just feels silly. Gabi looks perfectly fine and is even trying to comfort her.

Of course she is. She had looked out for her during the operation in the refueling station as well, insisting on taking her place and killing a titan while Sasha helped blind them from the elevator. Sasha knows that she should probably have been somewhat offended by it, but the truth is, she'd just been relieved. And now...

Sasha likes Gabi. She's strong, fun, outgoing, and seems to radiate life in a world where so many people fixate on death. It's a little odd that she joined the training corps so close to the end, but they clicked so well that she couldn't bring herself to dwell on it too much. Theirs had been a near-instant friendship, kind of like what she had with Connie. She isn't about to question that.

The thing that she can't help but question is why Gabi, crazy strong or just plain crazy, would be interested in her. She isn't the only scary-capable person to spend time with her, but Mikasa had gone through three whole years of training with her. Something like that was bound to drive people closer together. Gabi didn't have that though. She didn't have three years of training and bonding to drive her close to her like Mikasa did. So what could have possibly made her think that Sasha was worth her time?

Gabi squeezes her hand. Sasha swallows down the lump in her throat and squeezes back. "Are you scared?" she whispers.

It's a stupid question. She knows that Gabi will say no and talk about how this is an opportunity to prove herself, or the beginning of a victory for humanity, or-

"Of course," Gabi whispers.

Sasha blinks. "What?"

Gabi turns to offer her a smile. It isn't like her normal smiles, bold and unabashed and brimming with life. This one is sad, shaky, and visibly forced. "The colossal titan broke through the wall, Eren can turn into a titan, and I'm just one insignificant human girl. Of course I'm scared."

"Oh," Sasha whispers. Oh, because she doesn't know what else to say. Because Gabi's smile looks an awful lot like what she would probably come up with if she tries to smile right now. But she has to say something, so she squeezes her friend's hand and adds, "I guess it's probably hard for anyone to be brave right now."

"Being scared doesn't mean you aren't brave," Gabi says, voice confident for all that it sounds like she's hurting. "Being brave means doing what you know is right even though you're scared. Jumping into danger without being scared at all doesn't make you brave, just reckless and arrogant."

"But you're never-"

Sasha snaps her mouth shut the second that she realizes what she's saying. One because Gabi just said that she's scared, two because in this context, saying that she's never scared sounds kinda, well...

Gabi chuckles hoarsely. "I'm prone to being reckless and arrogant."

"You deserve to be confident," Sasha says. "You're so strong, and I'm..." She lets go of Gabi's hand. Of course, her own hand starts shaking immediately. She looks down at the ground and frowns. "I'm not sure I'm going to survive this," she admits.

"You are," Gabi says.

Sasha doesn't respond. Gabi only waits for a moment before grabbing her shoulders and wrenching her around to face her. "You are," she insists.

This time, Sasha catches the desperation in Gabi's voice. It's what makes her look up and meet her friend's eyes. The tears that she finds forming there are what make her gasp and murmur, "Gabi..."

"You are going to live, Sasha," Gabi says. Her voice is pained, yet unwaveringly determined at the same time. Like this exchange is one of the most important things in the world. "I might not be able to stay by you when we go back in there, but you are going to get out alive. I'll meet you after the battle's won, and I'll make sure that nothing happens to you. I promise. "

Sasha doesn't know what to say, just that she has to say something. So she just gapes for a moment then whispers, "How can you know...?"

"I just do. But I don't know... I don't know everything, so I need you to promise that you'll be careful in there, so you aren't hurt."

This time, Sasha really can't make herself say anything. Gabi waits for a moment before squeezing her shoulders and whispering, "Please."

"Alright," Sasha says, more for Gabi's sake than her own. "I'll be careful, and we'll meet up after the battle."

Gabi lets go of her shoulders, and Sasha takes the opportunity to step forward and scoop the other girl up in a hug. She stiffens for a moment before returning it, squeezing Sasha tightly.

As they hug, Sasha realizes that Gabi's shaking.

Her chest aches at the observation. However, Sasha remains confident that Gabi will make it out alive. She has to. And if she's so upset by the thought of Sasha dying... maybe they both need to make it.

That's alright. Sasha doesn't want to die, after all. She'll just have to be careful, try to remember all her training, and hope that she gets very, very lucky.

Notes:

Writing this fic had given me way too many feelings about Sasha and Gabi.

Anyway! One two chapters left (in this prequel fic, anyway)! Anyone got any guesses as to what's going to happen?

Also! As always, if you like my writing, please consider following my on twitter at Museflight or tumble at BNHAYYY.

Chapter 11: Jean

Summary:

The Battle for Trost

Notes:

As always, thank you to Celadon for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

How long has it been since the colossal titan kicked a hole into the gate of Trost? He knows that it can't have been more than a few hours, yet it feels like years.

Years, hours, he supposes it didn't matter in the end. It's still an unstable time filled with suicidal maniacs turning into titans and impossible missions. Throughout it all, the only constant has been his fear. It hasn't weakened or faded away. It's getting a little easier to function as the disaster draws on, but only because he's getting used to forcing himself to move forward even though every fiber of his being is screaming at him to run away.

Jean Kirstein is a coward. He isn't ashamed to admit it to himself, nor does he think that the fact that he's fighting anyway does anything to change it. His fear certainly doesn't make him a good leader, no matter what Marco says. He's only fighting because he owes it to the comrades he left behind to get eaten by titans so that the rest of them could escape with their lives. It would be an insult to their memory if the mission to reclaim Trost is allowed to fail because he's too afraid of going back into the fray. Their trust in him doesn't actually mean anything. And yet he has been made a squad leader.

Only a day or two ago, he would have been proud of being given a position of power like that. Now it sends an additional tingle of fear up his spine. Being in charge means that more people will die if he messes up. It's a sign of how desperate the situation is, if the higher-ups are giving the position to a cadet who hasn't even graduated yet. He had wanted to resist and argue and demand that the responsibility be given to someone else. But he didn't, because he couldn't. Someone has to, and if not him, it might be shrugged off onto some other coward, and then another, and another, all the way down until the operation unravels and Trost is permanently lost.

Needless to say, Jean is feeling kind of stressed.

There is no true respite from any of it, only moments where the action is not so intense, a few precious minutes where a titan isn't bearing down upon them. Minutes that have to remain few and precious, since the entire point of the operation is keeping the titans engaged and away from Eren.

It is during one of those moments that Gabi maneuvers over to stand beside him. "Jean, have you seen Marco?" she asks.

Gabi's voice gives him pause. She has been acting kind of erratic ever since the Colossal Titan appeared. He can't blame her for it; even the bravest people can be forgiven for faltering in the face of such things. But this is different. There is something new about the stress and strain in her voice, an urgency that he hasn't heard from her before.

"He was assigned to lead the 19th squad," Jean says. His tone isn't harsh or unkind, but it is a little brusque. He forcefully pushes down the guilt that threatens to well up over it. Now is not the time for Jean to start trying to be a better person. "You know that, Gabi."

"Right," Gabi says. "I mean, where was his squad going?"

"Why?" Jean asks.

Gabi clenches a fist and looks out over the rooftops of Trost. "I have a bad feeling," she says.

"A bad feeling," Jean repeats, voice flat. "About Marco?"

Jean can understand her being worried in general. So many of their comrades have been turned into corpses over the last few hours that whenever he looks at one of them now, he finds himself wondering if they will be the next to fall. But if anyone is going to be safe, he would think that it would be Marco. The eighth-ranked cadet in their class. It's true that Marco isn't the strongest or fastest in their class, but he is smart, level-headed, and a solid leader. He is likely to survive just because he won't make mistakes that will get him killed. Unlike Jean, he can probably stop the people in his squad from making such mistakes as well.

Marco is as safe as anyone can be in a situation like this.

Yet when Gabi looks back at him, there is fear in her eyes. Somehow, he can tell that it isn't fear for her own sake.

"Jean, do you trust me?" she asks.

"Trust you?" Jean repeats.

He has never taken the time to consider whether or not he trusted Gabi. That isn't to say that he hasn't thought about her in relation to trust. Rather, when he thinks about Gabi and the matter of trust, it's always to wonder why she trusts him. Because she does. She has never said as much outright, but it's apparent from the way she looks at him, like he is the sort of person who she thinks can move mountains. It's like how Marco had looked at him back when he called him a leader. Except Marco has known Jean for three years. He's had plenty of time to come to that ridiculous conclusion of his. Gabi, who he has only known for a handful of weeks, has looked at him like that from day one.

It had been a boost to his ego at first. Now, as she looks at him with desperate hope while bloodshed and despair reign around them, waiting for a weighted answer to a befuddling question, it is absolutely terrifying.

"Yeah," Gabi says. "Marco was... he was acting really weird earlier."

"He didn't seem weird to me," Jean murmurs, although half his mind is caught on what he had said while refueling. Does that count as weird behavior? Misplaced faith in the wrong comrades?

"He was," Gabi insists. "It was really subtle, but... I'm worried."

"You want to go after him," Jean says, the words leaving his mouth as soon as the realization hits him.

"I do," she confirms. "I can't explain it, but I feel like something really bad will happen if I don't."

"You're assigned to my squad," Jean needlessly points out. Of course she's already thought about that - it's why she's asking. Hell, he almost wishes that she had just run off. For all that it feels like this should be an easy choice, he only has to think about it for a few moments to realize that it isn't. It's a hard decision, incredibly hard, and it should be up to someone better suited to make it. But instead, Gabi's decided to drop it in his lap, and for a moment, all he can do is flounder.

The fact of the matter is that Gabi is more than capable. She is one of the few people who could wander off on their own in the middle of a titan incursion and stand a serious chance of coming back. She's also clever enough that if she says there was something wrong with Marco, there's reason to believe her. By asking him to trust her, she is asking him not only to have faith in her judgment, but to trust her to stay alive. He knows that he probably should trust her as well. But...

If he makes the wrong choice, if he lets her go and something happens to her, her death will be on his hands.

And if he doesn't let her go and something happens to Marco, then that will be his fault as well.

"I know," Gabi says after several seconds of silence, her voice coming out a little hoarse. "I know, and I'm sorry to ask you this. Just... please. Trust me."

Jean swallows heavily. Marco is his friend - his best friend - and has been for three years. Since he knows that he can't just run and hide, something inside of him, the part that isn't drowning in fear, wants to go after Marco himself. Except that he can't, not without abandoning the rest of his squad, none of whom are as talented as him or Gabi. Which means that it isn't an option.

For a moment, the two of them just stand there, staring each other down. In that moment, he takes in every detail of Gabi's face - the fear, the desperation, the resolution. He also notices what isn't there; panic, overconfidence, the signs of an impulsive decision.

She isn't doing this because she is chasing a whim, wants to be a hero, or was moved by an inspirational speech. He doubts that she even wants to do it. She's doing it because someone has to and she won't be able to live with herself if she doesn't.

"Alright," Jean says. "I'll trust you. Make sure Marco gets out of this alive."

Notes:

If anyone's curious, I will be elaborating a bit in why Gabi asked Jean for permission instead of just sneaking off in the main fic.

And with that, we are only one chapter away from Fortune's Harbinger being completed! Before I post the last chapter, I will create a series that readers can subscribe to so that you see when the main fic is posted. And the pre-prequel one-shot, since I do plan on doing one more of those first. But it really is only just a sanely lengthed one-shot this time, I swear.

Also! As always, I'd you like my writing, I ask that you consider supporting me by following me on Twitter at Museflight or tumblr at BNHAyyy

Chapter 12: Marco

Summary:

The Battle for Trost.

Notes:

The final chapter is here! Thank you for Celadon for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Across the battered rooftops of the Trost district, the titan that is Eren Yeager carries a giant boulder on his back. History is being made and Trost is a flurry of motion. Yet Marco can't bring himself to move.

"Yeah… If it comes to it, I'll have to do something with my titan somehow."

He feels a million things at once. Confusion. Alarm. Fear. The beginnings of something that feel distinctly like betrayal, coming right on the heels of a realization that hasn't taken hold quite yet, but lurks in the back of his mind, waiting to burst forth.

"But if their plan works, it'll plug the hole we finally opened."

Marco can barely breathe, but he knows that he can't afford to stand still and do nothing. None of them can, which means that he has to get Bertolt and Reiner to stop spouting nonsense and spur them into action. Yet even as the words slip by his disbelieving ears, he isn't sure that they are talking nonsense, which only makes the need to act that much more dire. He needs to figure out what's going on, he needs to do something about it, he needs to... he needs to make sure that they all get out of this okay.

"It doesn't matter. We've been searching for a clue these past five years and we finally found it."

Marco moves to speak.

Before he can make a sound, someone rams into his side and slaps their hand over his mouth. Terror races through Marco, hot and overpowering, but he is tugged off the roof before he can even think of doing something about it. He screams, but the sound is muffled by the hand and the sound of the wind rushing around them as they tumble off the roof.

Then there's the whiz of the maneuver gear, the whoosh of grappling hooks, and they're being pulled up onto a nearby roof. It's pure instinct that makes Marco kick his legs out to keep himself from skidding across the rooftop, and even then, he barely makes it in time. Their momentum still makes him trot several long paces. He is aware that he should slow down, try to assess the situation and get ahold of his wits, but the haze of frantic motion doesn't stop there. The second he starts to slow down, his assailant grabs his wrist and pulls him along behind them as they set off in a run.

"Come on!" they hiss.

Fear melts away into confusion as Marco takes in the person before him. He blinks, half expecting to realize that he's imagining the sight before him, but it only grows clearer as he returns to his senses.

" Gabi?" he exclaims. "What-"

"Shhh!" Gabi's already running like their lives depend on it, but she still finds the energy to move a little faster. Marco, dazed, can't think of anything to do but follow her lead, even as his legs begin to ache from the abuse.

There is an overhang near the end of the rooftop they're on. As Gabi ducks behind it and yanks him down with her, Marco realizes that Bertolt and Reiner shouldn't be able to see past it from their vantage point. He doesn't say that right away though - doesn't know how much Gabi heard or what she thought about it. Instead, he watches as she presses herself up against the bricks, panting heavily and eyes darting from side to side.

His body is shaky with adrenaline from their sudden flight, but his mind is working on an entirely separate level. It is caught in the conversation he overheard, the dots connecting and drawing that waiting realization forward. Because Eren is currently a titan trying to plug up the hole in the wall. And if Eren is a titan, if Eren's titan is a human, then it's entirely possible that the colossal and armored titans are as well. That would mean that Bertolt and Reiner's conversation... well, it should be the number one priority right now to say the least.

But Gabi looks terrified. No, more than terrified. She looks hurt , even if not physically. And Marco can't bring himself to ignore that. So he pushes through the dread settling into his stomach, the betrayal starting to weigh on his heart, pretends that he isn't facing a possibility that would turn the whole world upside down, and asks, "Gabi, what-"

"Did they see us?" Gabi interrupts.

Marco blinks. "I don't... I don't think so." He moves to peek over the edge of the overhang, only for Gabi to grab his arm and tug him back down.

" Don't !" she hisses. "If they haven't seen us yet, we can't risk it happening now. We just..." Gabi sucks in a breath, jagged and heavy. "We need to stay here until the coast is clear."

Marco frowns and wonders if Gabi realizes just how many things that could mean when she won't let him check to see if the coast is clear. Does she just want them to wait long enough that Bertolt and Reiner are bound to have moved on? Or does she want them to wait there until they hear the call to retreat behind Wall Rose? Either plan could be interrupted by the arrival of a titan, but he has no doubt that she's aware of that.

Unless she is so caught up in whatever's going on in her mind that she's forgotten about the titans completely. It doesn't seem like her, but he's never seen her this unnerved either. It's ultimately that thought that pushes him to ask, "What about the titans?"

Gabi's voice lowers. It does not sound like she is attempting to remain quiet. Rather, it is the distant, hollow voice of someone trying to pull information from an unpleasant memory. "There should be one coming along soon. But we're in a different area, and Reiner and Bertolt are still nearby, so it might not even notice us."

"What?" Marco asks.

Gabi shakes her head sharply. "I mean, if a titan shows up, I'll handle it."

Marco squints. That is a big jump from whatever she'd just been talking about. He supposes that he can't blame her though. She's obviously inches away from falling apart. And he has a feeling that he knows why.

"You heard them, too," he says.

"Something like that," Gabi mutters.

...'Something like that' is not the same thing as 'yes'. Marco can't tell if Gabi is aware of exactly what she just said, or even if she intended to say it. Her hands are steady and her eyes are sharp, but they are also darting from side to side, scanning the streets of Trost with a gleam of desperation that grows brighter with every passing second. She could very well be so caught up in her own thoughts that she accidentally said something that doesn't make sense. Even so, Marco cannot deny the possibility that this slip-up was something a little more meaningful, and before he knows it, his mind is making connections again, drawing him to conclusions that he really doesn't want to come to. Yet he cannot afford not to.

It would make sense for Gabi to be like this because she overheard Bertolt and Reiner and came to the same conclusion that he did. Except she swept in and grabbed him out of nowhere. She might be fast, but no one is fast enough to have stopped Marco in time, not if they were standing around listening to the conversation as well. But if she already suspected what was being discussed... if they didn't have any shock to absorb or realizations to work through... if she saw him and immediately knew that he was in trouble...

He can only think of one way that that can be possible. It leads him to an obvious question. That obvious question is not the one that he asks, and not just because he is suddenly acutely aware that asking it might cost him his life. Rather, he changes directions because it also might not. Because despite the nightmare that currently surrounds them, despite the implications of his theory, Bertolt and Reiner have been his comrades for three years now. He knows them. He knows that they are good people.

He's only known Gabi for a handful of weeks, but in a way, that makes her the perfect test subject. If he can ease her into the notion, get her on his side, then surely there's hope for his friends.

"We should try to talk to them," Marco says.

Gabi's gaze snaps back over to him. "What?" she asks, voice echoing with horror.

"We should talk to them," Marco repeats. "Bertolt and Reiner are our friends. If they're... if they did do this, I'm sure they had a good reason. Maybe we can reach an understanding and-"

"No!" Gabi exclaims. "That won't..." She swallows and shakes her head again. "It won't work. They won't listen to you no matter what you say."

"You can't know that," Marco says.

"I can. Marco, if they know what you heard, they will kill you. And I don't think I'd be able to stop them."

Gabi's words are saturated in a dark certainty that holds all of the weight of fate. They carry the two of them into a heavy silence. Marco allows it to linger over them as he looks his comrade over once again. Her stance is solid and her shoulders firm, but her hands are shaking and her breath is coming in rapid bursts. The wild, terrified, wounded gleam in her eyes has only grown stronger. He can only catch short glimpses of it, since she kept looking away from him and at the streets. Marco knows that he should probably be keeping a sharper eye on their surroundings as well, lest a titan catch them unaware. Yet he can't bring himself to look away from her.

She sounds so certain. Too certain to just be making a guess. That means that something more is happening here.

If she is sure that Bertolt and Reiner won't listen to him, then he will believe her for the time being. But all of her actions tell him that she will listen , and he isn't about to let that opportunity go to waste.

"Are you with them?" Marco asks.

Gabi blinks. "What?"

"Bertolt and Reiner. Are you with them?"

Gabi opens her mouth. Closes it. "I-" She closes her mouth again, swallows, and then forces herself to speak. "Why are you asking me that? I just saved you."

Her voice is incredulous, yet holds an almost hollow quality beneath it. Marco's chest aches with a pang of pity and regret at the sound, but he can't drop the subject. Not if the fate of Wall Rose is really on the line.

Marco makes sure to meet Gabi's eyes as he says, "Because you're so sure that you did save my life. How could you know for sure that they won't listen if you don't know something that I don't? Why weren't you more surprised by what they said? Why- How were you so quick to react?"

"I- I just-"

"You can tell me, Gabi," Marco says, voice soft and non-threatening.

Gabi looks away just as a brown-haired titan rounds the corner. It is a fair distance away and doesn't seem to have noticed them yet, but Marco's stomach lurches as Gabi jolts backward, eyes widening as her hands fly to her paring blades. "Is that...?" Her words are a whispered question that she allows to trail off.

She moves to stand, but Marco reaches out and grabs her by the elbow before her head can rise above the overhang.

"What are you doing?" He whispers. "You shouldn't- it hasn't noticed us yet, and I thought-" A lump forms in his throat, but he swallows it down and forces himself to press on. "I thought we couldn't risk them seeing us."

There's already so much going on, so much confusion and suspicion and doubt. If Gabi starts to contradict herself in the midst of it all, he doesn't know how he'll handle it.

But he also has no way to stop it.

"I know," Gabi whispers. "But I can't leave that titan alone. If it does come here-" She grits her teeth and draws in a shaky breath from between them. "It's better to get rid of it now. I'll be right back. I promise, Marco, you'll be okay."

Marco wants to protest. To say that it isn't her job or duty to protect him. He wants to point out that she looks like she's on the verge of breaking down and probably shouldn't be rushed in after a titan right now. He wants to say that he's ranked eighth in their class, that she should take a moment to calm down while he takes care of the titan, or at least let him help.

But Marco is scared. He's scared, and for all that he wants to help Gabi, he doesn't want to face a titan, not when so many of their comrades have already been eaten. That fear sinks into his bones and turns them into lead. He's already the slowest of the top ten, and his fear slows him down further, whereas Gabi has a manic gleam lighting up her eyes. She yanks her arm out of his grasp and flies toward the titan before he can get a word out, let alone do anything to stop her.

Gabi may be fraying at the edges, but she still manages to compose herself enough to kill the titan quickly and efficiently. The sight of the titan falling to the ground, steam already terminating from the creature, only does a little to calm Marco. His heart is still trying to pound a hole in his ribcage when she flies back over to him. This time, she doesn't bother crouching down to hide beneath the overhang.

"They're gone," she says, and her voice is still shaken, but now he thinks he catches an inexplicable hint of awe caught in it. "You're safe."

Gabi extends her hand to him. Marco takes it and slowly stands up. His knees ache in protest after crouching behind the overhang for so long, but showing that he trusts his classmate is more important than his comfort right now. Although, he knows that the gesture may not mean much when paired with what he's about to say. But he can't not say it.

"Gabi, you still haven't answered my question."

"Oh," Gabi whispers, dropping her arm to her side and looking away. "I'm not. I'm not with them."

"Then how did you know all that?" Marco asks.

"It's... complicated," Gabi says.

"Complicated in what way?"

Gabi's breath hitches. "You wouldn't believe me."

Marco puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You don't know that."

" I do! " Gabi bats his hand away and takes a step back. In the process, she looks him in the face once again, revealing eyes glimmering with frustration and unshed tears. Her hands are held stiff at her side and her hands clenched into fists, yet he can still see them shaking a little. "I do know, because no one in their right mind would believe me, and I don't have any proof, and-"

"You're all alone, aren't you?"

"What?" Gabi croaks.

"Whatever you're going through, you're dealing with it all alone aren't you?" Marco repeats.

Gabi opens her mouth, but all that escapes is a sob. She grabs the side of the overhang with one hand, presses the other against her mouth, and squeezes her eyes shut. The motion disturbs the tears gathering in her eyes and makes them start falling down her face. Marco hesitantly starts to reach out a hand, and she blinks her eyes back open, tears now cascading down her face in a steady stream. One hand maintains a vice-grip on the overhang, but the other is shaking like a leaf as she lowers it from her mouth and chokes out, "I don't... I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't- I can't- you wouldn't believe me."

And perhaps the deciding factor is the surreality of seeing someone as strong as Gabi break down so completely. Maybe it is how lost she seems. Maybe he just can't bear to see someone in so much pain and do nothing. Whatever the case, when Marco feels the sudden compulsion to hug Gabi, he does not fight it. He steps forward and wraps the girl in his arms. The way she lets go of the roof and all but collapses into his arms, the way she wraps her arms around his neck and sobs , tells him that he made the right choice.

Marco and Gabi have never been close. He's spent a fair time with her since she joined the 104th, has wanted to get to know her, but has never really had the opportunity. It seemed like she was always preoccupied with someone else, and he didn't feel right bothering her just because he was curious or wanted to make friends. It honestly felt like their paths were never meant to cross. Yet right now, he can't help but feel like she's the only thing she has. And that leaves him only able to think of one thing to do.

"I'll believe you," Marco whispers. "Whatever you say, no matter how insane it is - I promise I'll believe you, Gabi. So please, trust me."

Gabi's grip tightens, and as she buries her face into his neck, he isn't sure that she'll respond. Then she whispers, "Are you sure?"

Marco nods. "I wouldn't say it if I wasn't."

Gabi lets Marco go and takes a step back. She pulls herself together slowly, first just staring at him through watering eyes, then taking in a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. Finally, she says, "My name is Gabi Braun, and I'm from the year 857."

Marco stares. First because it takes a while for him to absorb what they said and process the implications. Then he stares because it's too much. Gabi Magnolia - Gabi Braun - isn't just revealing herself to be a liar, she's saying something utterly unbelieva-

I promised that I'd believe her.

The year is 850. Names aside, it is impossible for Gabi to be from 857.

But a few hours ago, he also would have said that it is impossible for a human to turn into a titan. He would have called it unbelievable that Bertolt and Reiner, his comrades, his friends, could be the titans that destroyed Wall Maria.

It doesn't matter that Marco has no way of knowing if Gabi's telling the truth. As he stares her down, he realizes that her face carries the desperate honesty of someone who believes that they are. Whether she's delusional or a third impossible thing has happened, the fact remains that she needs someone to believe her, and he made a promise.

He has to try.

He has to give her a chance.

Because even if she's wrong, it's all he can do to help him. And if she isn't , if a third impossible thing is about to happen today, then this might be the most important thing that he ever does. So with ice-cold dread licking at his fingers and toes, Marco forces himself to ask, "You're from the future?"

"Yes," Gabi says. "I- I know how it sounds. And I won't blame you if you don't believe me. But I am." She raises a hand to run it through her hair, and suddenly, Marco is reminded of Reiner. His classmate doesn't often show outward signs of stress, but on the few times that he has, he's caught him making a similar gesture.

He never noticed before, but Gabi actually looks a little like him.

Marco can feel a million questions struggling to make their way out into the open. He pushes them all back and says, "I promised I'd believe you, and I'm going to try. I mean, today I found out that people can turn into titans, and that isn't even the worst of it. When you look at it that way, who's to say that time travel is impossible?"

Marco forces a smile. It's thin and shaky, weighed down by fear and stress and a thousand other unpleasant things, but it still does its job. Gabi smiles back, fragile and strained, yet bright with relief. Her eyes still glisten bright with tears, but new ones aren't forming anymore.

"Thank you," she whispers.

Don't thank me yet, he wants to say. He believes that she believes what she's saying, is trying to believe that it might be true, but he also hasn't disregarded the possibility that she may be delusional. In the face of her relief, so genuine and pure, it makes him feel a pang of guilt. It makes him feel like he's lying. But he isn't. He does want to help Gabi through whatever's going on. For now, that means listen to what she has to say and see if she has lost her mind... or maybe, maybe, he's in way over his head.

He isn't sure which option terrifies him more.

"I... I hope you don't mind me asking," Marco tentatively begins, "But Gabi... if you're from the future, how did you get back here?"

"Ah." Her smile falls, and the expression that takes her place is that of someone who is truly and utterly lost. "That's the thing. I don't know. I know that I was at his grave, so it was probably something to do with, but... Fuck!" Gabi's face twists into frustration. She reaches out to slap the top of the overhang as she exclaims, "There's so much I'd have to tell you for that to even make sense, and I don't... I don't even know where to begin!"

"Well, we can't stay here for much longer." As he speaks, Marco tears his gaze away from Gabi and casts a wary glance around. There aren't any titans approaching, but that could change at any moment. They could also be called back, at which point they'll have no option but to get moving. Looking back at Gabi, he eventually suggests, "Why don't you just tell me the basics for now?"

Gabi shoots him a flat look. "I'm a time traveler who knows the truth about the world. What even are the basics in this situation?"

Marco takes a step back, eyes widening. It hadn't even occurred to him that, if Gabi is telling the truth, she might know... He can't even begin to imagine. Humanity knows so little about the rest of the world, about the titans, and she's making it sound like she does. It takes his breath away. It makes him want to demand that she tell him exactly what she's talking about, that she explain everything that she knows. It might just be the ramblings of one delusional girl, but if it isn't, if it isn't ...

If it isn't, then it will definitely take a long time for her to explain. Longer than they can afford right now.

Marco eventually settles on saying, "Start by telling me who you are. That is, you said that your name is Gabi Braun. Are you related to...?"

"He's my cousin," Gabi says. She is clearly trying to sound strong, but her voice is hoarse and wavering "He doesn't recognize me because his Gabi is only eight, and he hasn't seen her since she was three."

"I see," Marco says. "Were you... Are you close?" It sounds absurd. From what he's seen, Gabi and Reiner barely get along. They're reluctant comrades who tolerate each other at best. But there's pain in Gabi's voice, the sort that Marco can't imagine hearing from anyone talking to a distant relative who they don't care about.

"Very," Gabi says. "And I know how that must sound, but he's not... He isn't evil." She blinks a few times, which only serves to make Marco notice that tears have started gathering in her eyes once again. "Him and all the other titans shifters from Marley... that is, beyond the Walls, they're child soldiers. They were basically brainwashed, and it's... You guys have started getting through to them, but if they don't go through with their mission, they could be executed and their families punished."

Marco doesn't know how to process what is beyond said beyond just feeling horrible. Part of that horribleness, maybe even the worst of it, is that he has a haunting feeling that he knows that Gabi is getting at. Even so, he asks, "Punished..."

Gabi smiles bitterly. "It's worse than you're thinking, probably. But still, that isn't... We aren't worth..." She trails off as her breathing grows rough. Marco takes a step forward, but Gabi just takes a step back, shaking her head violently, and wraps her arms around herself.

"I don't care what happens to the other Gabi," she declares. "I won't let him make the same decisions this time. I won't... I won't let him make the same mistakes. I promise, I won't..." She looks back up at him, but only maintains eye contact for a few seconds before her gaze slides away. "I won't let Reiner hurt anyone. I'll find a way to save you both."

In that instant, Marco is hit by a revelation with sickening certainty. He doesn't want to say it, yet finds that he has to. He has to know that he's right, that this really is something that's happening, that it did happen. "In your time... Reiner killed me in your time, didn't he."

Gabi's gaze falls down to her feet. She doesn't look up, and as the seconds pass, a fresh tear drips down her face. It spurs Marco into action, even though he feels like an outsider puppeteering his own body. He gently places a hand on her upper arm, and she allows it.

Another few seconds pass. Finally, Gabi whispers, "He regretted it, you know. It's actually the reason I knew to stop them. Reiner and the others - they don't really like to talk about the past, so there's a lot I don't know about what happens this year. But I was there when Reiner and Jean... talked... about your death. And I know..." She paused to suck in a breath, her entire body shuddering as she did. "I know it probably doesn't mean much, but he regretted it like nothing else."

Marco swallows down the rock trying to lodge itself in his throat. He doesn't know if Reiner's regret means anything to him. It's something that he would need time to think about, and right now he can barely get past the realization that Reiner really would have killed him. In turn, the knowledge that Reiner would have killed him pales in comparison to the fact that it suddenly makes sense that Gabi was able to get to him in time. If she knew where to be and when, if she was planning to save him before he even stumbled into danger... If she really is from the future...

Then she really did save his life.

The fact that she saved him doesn't seem to be doing her any good right now though. He can see the tears flowing down her face once again, can feel her shaking beneath his hand. It makes him want to hug her again, but he isn't sure that it will be received well right now. Instead, he says, "I'm sorry. This is... I can't imagine how hard this is for you."

Gabi doesn't respond.

"So you're... trying to get Reiner to make better choices this time?" Marco prompts. The words feel wrong, since it sounds like by making sure Reiner doesn't do anything more to harm his comrades, she might well be asking him to condemn the rest of their family and her own past self to death. But it's the only thing he can think of to say right now, so he goes with it.

It also manages to bring Gabi back to the present. Yet her reaction is far from reassuring.

Gabi shakes her head. She raises her head to look at him, and there is something dark and heavy in her eyes. "There's more to it than that. I'm not just trying to save Reiner. I'm trying to save the world."

"You're trying to…" Marco allows his hand to fall from Gabi's arm. "Save it from what? And how?"

Gabi's breathing grows a little louder and more ragged. It isn't quite to the point that it seems like she's going to hyperventilate, but it definitely sounds like it must be difficult to speak. Even so, she manages to find her voice, tired and unsteady though it is, and says, "There are nine people with the ability to turn into a titan."

"Nine?" Marco echoes, sounding just as faint as he suddenly feels.

Gabi nods, her gaze settled somewhere off in the distance. "Nine. The Armored, Colossal, Female, Cart, Jaw, Warhammer, Beast, Attack, and Founding Titans. Each titan has its own ability. One of them, the Founding Titan..." Gabi's voice cracks. She hasn't shed any more tears since her last bought, but for a moment, it looks like she is going to start up again. Instead, she grits her jaw and meets Marco's gaze. Her eyes still glimmer with tears, but none of them fall this time, held in place by something that is equal parts fury and unshakeable resolve.

It isn't enough to completely block out the pain. In that second, Marco knows that he is about to hear something truly horrible.

He is not disappointed.

"The Founding Titan had the ability to control titans. Three years ago - a little over four and a half years from now, for you- the person with the Founding Titan used that ability to make an army of over a million Colossal Titans to trample the world."

"Trample... the... world...?" Marco echoes.

"There's a whole world out there, Marco," Gabi says, the fury in her voice dying off in favor of something sad and remorseful. Sad and remorseful, but not soft . Any softness has been replaced by something distant and haunted, something that he hasn't noticed the entire time he's known her, but seems all too apparent now. "This place - these walls and everyone behind them - is just one island. Beyond it, there's an entire world. Nations, kingdoms, islands - billions of people. People who are innocent from everything Marley's done. And right now, they're all safe. But back then...

"It was called The Rumbling. The remnants of the Survey Corps and the Warrior Unit - those are the shifters who are being sent to destroy the walls - teamed up to kill the Founding Titan and stop The Rumbling. And they did, but not before it flattened eighty percent of the world. More people died than you could even imagine. It was... it was this. It was Trost, but a million times over and all at once. And because I know who's going to do it, I have a chance to stop it."

Now it's Marco's turn to stagger backward and grab the side of the overhang. Just like he had moments ago, Gabi takes a step forward and reaches a hand out toward his arm. Unlike him, she hesitates just before she can make contact. "I know that this is a lot to take in," she whispers.

Marco shakes his head. "It's..." Too much to take in all at once. Too many revelations wrapped up in a package of despair. It's horrible, it's unthinkable, it...

...It makes certain things connect in his head, no matter how much he doesn't want them to.

There are three cadets with whom Gabi has particularly noteworthy relationships. Her relationship with Reiner has seemed fraught and negative from day one. He hadn't been able to understand it before, but now, he can recognize it as the frustration of watching a loved one make the wrong choices, completely oblivious to your efforts to save him. Later, he knows that he will probably feel sorry for Gabi and what she must be going through. Probably even soon. For now, however, his brain continues down the path it has started in, plowing toward the inevitable destination.

Gabi and Sasha's friendship both is and isn't a mystery. Before, he had assumed that the two just got along very well. Now... Now, that is still possible, but he also has to face the probability that there's something more going on. He doesn't know what, but he knows what it isn't. Sasha isn't the Founding Titan. She can't be - he can't imagine any world where she would kill billions of people, even if some of those people were the ones responsible for the fall of Wall Maria.

He knows who would though. Horrible though it is to think, he knows someone who desires freedom above all else, someone who he could picture doing almost anything to accomplish that goal. Someone who he already knows can turn into a titan.

"Eren," Marco whispers. "It's Eren, isn't it."

Gabi lowers her hand and looks down. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

Marco shakes his head again. He wants to backtrack and deny his own observation, to say that Gabi can't be going after Eren, that they're friends. But if friendship wouldn't have saved him from Reiner, why would it save Eren from Gabi? Besides, it becomes a lot easier to kill someone if they trust you.

He's friends with Eren. Because he's friends with Eren, he wants to defend him, to say that he would never do something as horrible as what Gabi described, even though he arrived at the conclusion because he knows that he would. He would because there is an outside world, and if Wall Maria is any indication, someone in that outside world wants them dead. But who? How many people? If there were enough people... if he felt like it had to be the walls or the rest of the world...

Eren would burn the world and call it freedom.

"Do you believe me?" Gabi whispers.

Marco forces himself to look back up. In the time that it's taken him to think, some of Gabi's fire and fury has faded away, leaving behind echoes of heartache and exhaustion. The desperate need to be believed combined with a resigned acceptance that she won't be. Except now there's a bit of fear too, because she's said enough that if he doesn't believe her, he could get her in a lot of trouble and they both know it.

If he doesn't believe her.

It would be so much easier if he didn't believe her. Yet when she asks that question, he finds that he does . Somewhere over the course of their conversation, as dots connected and little details lined up, he went from trying to believe her because he made a promise to accepting what she said as truth. He doesn't even have any solid proof, he just can't deny all of the tiny mysteries that suddenly make so much more sense.

Besides, if she is delusional and he believes her, then some damage may be done, but it won't be the end of the world. If she's telling the truth and he doesn't ...

He can't afford to take that risk. That is why, when he makes his decision, he doesn't allow himself to second-guess or hesitate.

"I believe you, Gabi," Marco says. "And I want to help you."

The world seems to freeze for a moment. An expression of pure shock creeps across Gabi's face, slow and delicate as frost over a windowpane. "You... do...?" she whispers.

Marco nods. "Yeah. I'm... I'm not sure I'd be willing to help you kill Eren for something he hasn't even done yet, but... maybe I can help you in other ways? Like with Reiner, or anything else that you know about and want to avoid."

"Why?" Gabi asks. "Marco, this is going to be dangerous and you only just avoided death and... and we're practically strangers! Why would you help me?"

Marco tries to smile. It ends up being easier than he expected. Not because he's happy, but because after what she's gone through, everything that she's lost, and everything she's risking to try and make a future better than her own, he figures that Gabi needs it. For saving his life, he owes her that much as well.

He doesn't say that he owes her though, not when there is so much else he can say that is also true. "Because you're lost, and I can't do anything about that, but I can't keep you from being alone as well. Besides..." Marco feels his smile grow a little strained, but does not let it fall. "I don't want eighty percent of the world to die either."

Even if it is a world that wants him dead.

Confusion flickers across Gabi's face. "But you just said..."

"I don't want to kill Eren," Marco clarifies. "I think we should try something else first." Anything else. "But if there's a way to keep The Rumbling from happening, we should."

And if killing Eren is the only way to stop The Rumbling...

...He doesn't want to think about that quite yet.

Thankfully, instead of pressing the subject, Gabi asks, "Are you sure?"

Marco holds out his hand.

Gabi takes it, and as they shake, the bells to retreat begin to sound.

The breach has been sealed.

The battle for Trost is over.

Notes:

So, did anyone predict where this chapter ended up going? Gabi isn't alone anymore, and amidst all the misery and failure, she succeeded in one regard. Marco is alive... for better or worse.

I hope that no one minded the lack of physical action! I can assure you that you will get that in the actual fic.

With that, Fortune's Harbinger is complete! However, the series is only getting started. I'm planning one more prequel fic, a one-shot this time, before I start the main story. You can expect it to be posted in late October or early November. The main fanfic, Time's Witness, will be posted in November. I'm taking most of October off to get caught up on some other projects before I dive back in to this one. However, I've already created the series collection, so if you want to read the upcoming fics, please go ahead and subscribe to Destiny's Challenger!

Thank you to everyone who's kudoed, reviewed, read and supported this fic! You all made this a wonderful journey.

As always, please consider following my on tumblr at BNHAyyy and twitter at Museflight.

Thank you, and farewell for now.

~Museflight

Leap of Faith

Museflight

Summary:

When Gabi is thrown back in time to Paradis, 850, she breaks down.

Then she pulls herself together and turns to the one person she knows she can still rely on.

Notes:

For Mavzell.

It's a month late, but the prequel to Fortune's Harbinger is finally here! In my defense, I think that the word count speaks for itself.

Thank you to Giles and Jules for betaing!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sunlight shone brightly down on the dappled green leaves of a great oak tree. Gabi grinned up at it as she adjusted her ODM gear. At over fifty feet tall, the tree wasn't as tall as the giants that resided on Paradis, but it was probably still big enough to suit her needs.

Beside her, Falco shuffled nervously. "Are you sure about-"

"Are you really going to ask if I'm sure about this?" Gabi cut in. "Really? We've been training for weeks, and you really aren't sure I can handle this?"

Those weeks could have been longer if Levi wasn't so stubborn. The old man in question was sitting next to Onyankopon on a bench a few feet away. Gabi shot him a wary glance, as if Falco's nervousness might spontaneously make him backtrack and drag her away. He relieved her concerns with a roll of his eyes.

"I know," Falco said, drawing her attention back to him. Despite the worry in his eyes, he was offering her a warm smile. "You've gotten really good, too. But... can you blame me for not wanting to see my girlfriend get hurt?"

Gabi snorted and turned around to take a few steps toward the tree. "I can when your girlfriend is me." After all of Levi's grumbling and warnings that the ODM gear was difficult, she'd proven to be a natural with it. Falco had struggled, but his determination to keep up with her meant that he was never too far behind.

Once she was only a few feet away from the tree, Gabi shot Falco a grin from over her shoulder. "You'll be right behind me, right?"

Just as she expected, the worry in Falco's eyes faded away into an excited gleam at her invitation. Challenge. "Of course," he said.

"Be careful!" Onyankopon called out.

Gabi turned around to grin at Onyankopon and Levi. The former returned her smile with a shaky one of his own, while the latter looked decidedly unimpressed.

"Don't worry about me. I have skill on my side," Gabi declared.

Levi scoffed. "Good, because I'm not going to catch you if you fall."

Onyankopon grimaced. "I… actually meant that you should be careful not to be arrested," he admitted. "I'm not sure we should be doing this in a park."

"Oh." Falco looked around nervously, as if it hadn't occurred to him that they could possibly get into trouble for doing this in one of Marley's nicer parks. It probably hadn't. He liked to play at being all mindful, but Gabi knew that he was just as excited to try their ODM gear in a larger environment as she was. "Could we get arrested for this?"

Levi waved a hand dismissively. "This is a public park, isn't it? We're part of the public."

"Exactly!" Gabi exclaimed. "Besides, we're here with Levi Ackerman! Even if someone tries to arrest us, they'll stop as soon as they realize who we are."

Falco pursed his lips. "That's..."

"It's true," Levi cut in. "Now get this shit out of your system so we can go back to the shop."

Gabi laughed and turned back to face the tree. "Are you watching, old man?"

Levi sighed. "I let you drag me out here, didn't I?"

Gabi aimed her grappling hooks toward the top of the tree. "Falco?"

"I'm ready," her boyfriend confirmed, excitement weaving its way through his voice.

"Then let's go."

Gabi fired off the grappling hooks, felt the engine of her ODM gear roar to life, and took flight.

Gabi blinks as she takes in her surroundings. She is in what seems to be a back alleyway. Small piles of rubbish are piled against the sides of buildings tall enough to blot out the sun and cast her in shadow. It is familiar only in the vaguest sense that all back alleyways are similar enough to be somewhat familiar, unremarkable in all the ways that go with that, and strange in every way that counts.

She isn't supposed to be here, out in some back alley in...

Where am I? The question sneaks up on her quietly, wrapped up in cold and dread. She doesn't know how to even begin to answer it, but she does know that she can't expect to find answers if she just stands around waiting for something to happen. So she walks forward, one unsteady footstep after the other, toward the mouth of the alleyway, and into the light of day.

Gabi is met with an unfamiliar city street. It is filled to bursting with people, all bustling about in the warm afternoon light as they go about their lives. A woman is dragging a pouty girl after her a few yards down from where she is standing. Up the street from her, a trio of men stand clustered around what looks like a news stall, arguing over something or other. Across the street filled with horses and carriages, there is another stall, this one filled to the brim with oranges. A man with a winning smile is standing next to it. He meets Gabi's gaze and grins a little wider and gestures for her to come over to him.

All of this is noticed within a span of heartbeats and dismissed just as quickly, for none of it is the thing that takes her breath away and threatens to make her heart stop beating. That honor goes to the phantom looming on the horizon, the thing that she has only seen once before in her life, three long years ago. To the symbol proudly emblazoned on its side.

The walls of Paradis are long gone, destroyed during the Rumbling.

So how can she be looking at Wall Rose?

"What were the walls like?"

Reiner chuckled uncomfortably. "That's… a loaded question."

"I don't mean what was it like to live there," Gabi clarified.

It was half a lie. She did want to know what those days were like for him. While it was true that she knew more than she did when she was younger and assumed that it had been a living hell, she wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything. He had been happy there, but what were the things that made him happy? When did he start to realize that the islanders weren't devils after all? What were the exact moments that made him start to care for them, that made his duty hurt so badly?

The past didn't weigh on Reiner quite as much as it used to, but it still held him back. It held all of the former members of the 104th back to a degree. Sometimes one of them would make a passing reference to something from their trainee days, but they never spoke of them or the events that followed in any depth. The ones who were the most open about the past with her was probably Annie, and even that was mostly just her talking about her past with Armin. Reiner, on the other hand, barely spoke of it at all.

Gabi hoped that her cousin would truly open up to her one day. And after three years, she suspected that they were getting closer to that day. But not yet. For now, she contented herself by watching his interactions with his Paradisian friends, whose companionship and forgiveness she knew he considered himself lucky to have. She tried to glean what she could from their moments of friendship and wondered what they all might have been like before they all had their various scars to weigh on them.

And sometimes, like now, she asked questions. Not especially pointed questions, nothing that would push him too far out of his comfort zone, but questions. Little things that made it easier to paint the picture of what had been.

Reiner peered down at her with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean, then?"

"What were the walls like," Gabi repeated. "You know, the giant titan-filled things that surrounded the island."

"Oh." Reiner leaned back into his chair and shrugged. "Well, you said it. They were giant. Filled with titans. I mean, you saw them."

Gabi leaned in closer until her stomach pressed against the table. "There has to be more than that!" she exclaimed. "Seeing them for a moment can't compare to actually living there."

Okay, so maybe she pushed a little bit. Only on good days, when she was sure that Reiner could handle it. Like today.

Reiner sighed heavily. "They were..." He raised a hand to rub at his chin, only to drop it a moment later. When he started speaking again, his voice had lowered into something almost reverent. "...Awesome. They were so tall, even having a titan wasn't enough to keep me from being at least a little scared when I used my ODM gear on them. But it also felt like flying. There was a sense of power to them, and when you stood on top of one, it felt like you could see the entire world, even though you knew you couldn't."

"Do you think there's anything else out there like them?" Gabi paused, pursing her lips. "Or there might have been, before..."

"No. They were three of a kind."

No. That can't be Wall Rose that she's looking at. There has to be some sort of explanation - any sort of explanation. Something weird is going on, but it isn't what it looks like.

Unless...

Gabi crushes the thought before it can ever take root. She turns on her heel and, with a sense of determination that edges in on desperation, stomps her way over to the men gathered around the news stall. The stall is spotted with papers. Her gaze flickers over to them, but she doesn't allow herself to actually read the characters covering them, doesn't dare entertain the wild notion building in the back of her mind for even a second.

If she seriously considers that ridiculous idea, then that means she's acknowledging that there's a chance that it's real. And it isn't real. It can't be.

Gabi's attention turns toward the gathered men instead. One or two of them glance at her, but none of them pay her any real attention, engrossed in their argument. Gabi watches them for a moment, waiting for an opening, before giving up, putting on a sweet, polite voice, and cutting in, "Excuse me, but I think I'm lost. Can you tell me where I am?"

"Two blocks east of the market," one man dismissively says.

Gabi frowns. "No, I mean… What district is this?"

Suddenly all eyes are on her. One man, red-haired and sporting a green-checkered hat, raises an eyebrow and makes a disbelieving noise. "How in god's name could anyone get that lost?" he asks.

Gabi wishes she had an answer. An answer that doesn't involve impossible notions and terrifying things that she refuses to believe quite yet, for those are even worse than nothing. She can't tell any of that to the men though, and if she wants to get any real information, she needs to tell them something. So she forces her straining smile a little wider and says, "I think I hit my head."

The redhead exchanges a look with one of his companions, a composed-looking brunette in a teal shirt and black pants. The third man is by far the least composed. His black hair is disheveled and everything from his dusty brown slacks to his black shirt and well-worn boots look tattered. However, he is the one to step toward Gabi, concern glimmering in his blue eyes. The sight makes Gabi's heart clench and her mind flicker through a flurry of images and thoughts. Reiner, Levi, Falco; where are they now, what were they doing, when will she se-

Stupid. She'll see them soon, there's no need to get worked up or emotional. She just needs to figure out where she is, then she'll be heading right home.

"Hit your head?" the man asks. "Do you need to see a doctor?"

The brunette snickers. "Maybe she can be your new charity case, Martin. If she's that confused, she must be another of those refugees.

The kind man - Martin - glares at the brunette while the redhead grumbles, "You'd think the refugees would have their shit together by now."

"I'm not a refugee," Gabi quickly says. "And I don't need a doctor. I just need to know where I am."

"You're in Trost," Martin says, turning his increasingly worried gaze back to Gabi. "Are you sure that you-"

"Trost," Gabi breathes. "I'm in..." she glances at the wall - at Wall Rose - and fists her hands in the yellow-checkered skirt of her dress. "Right. I'm in Trost."

She swallows heavily and fights down the nervous laugh that tries to force its way out of her throat. There is no reason to break down. It would be stupid to break down. She had been in worse situations than this before. If she hasn't, if this really is exactly what it looks like, then she's still been in worse situations, because if it really is what it looks like, then it can't be real. Simple! She just has to stay calm and get more information.

All three of the men are exchanging wary looks now. Gabi takes that as a sign to hurry it up and get out of here before she starts getting questions that she really doesn't know how to deal with. She forces her voice to remain steady as she says, "If you don't mind, I have one more question."

"Of course," Martin says, shifting his gaze back to her. The concern on his face is building, and she has no doubt that it will only get worse with what she asks next. She can't help that though. She has to ask the question, has to figure out just how bad it really is.

"What year is it?"

Silence falls upon the group. The redhead is eyeing her in blatant distrust and the brunette takes a shuffling step away. Martin looks sad, doubtlessly thinking that he's talking to some sort of addled girl who has completely lost her wits. Which, in a way, she supposes that he is. If she isn't dreaming, then she must be going mad to be seeing what she thinks she is right now.

Martin speaks, and for the first time in her life, Gabi hopes that she's going mad.

"It's 850."

Gabi nods, and the motion feels hollow and empty, like her soul has been yanked out of her body and set adrift somewhere else. "Right. Thank you."

She turns around and takes off down the street without giving him a chance to say anything else. Martin shouts something after her, but she doesn't hear it, can't bring herself to care to listen. Her head is filled with impossibilities and panic, the impossibility laid out before her.

It doesn't long for her to reach the alley that this nightmare started in. She turns into it, looking for answers, for a way out. Yet nothing happens as she runs deeper into it. She doesn't suddenly come to her senses, she doesn't turn around and find herself back home. Eventually, she is forced to come to a stop when she reaches the end of the alley. The end of the alley, which is exactly that, a dank back alley in the Trost District, year 850.

"I've lost my mind," Gabi whispers.

Except there were no signs that she was losing her mind. There were no hints or clues, nothing to make her suspect that anything dark was coming. And for all that she is confused, she doesn't feel confused, blurry, or any less sharp than she usually does. She always imagined that being insane must be like having a head filled with cotton, that the world wouldn't make sense beyond the delusions that the mentally ill person latched onto. This doesn't make sense and the situation is insane, but... she doesn't feel insane.

So she tries again.

"I'm dreaming."

The trouble is, when she reaches a hand out to touch the red bricks of the wall before her, she can clearly feel the roughness of their texture and the warmth that has absorbed into the stone. When has she ever had such a detailed dream? She can't remember. But it has to be a dream, because if it isn't - if it isn't-

It has to be a dream. Never mind how she can feel the bumps and grooves of the stone poke at her back as she turns around to slump against the wall. Forget how the rough surface tugs at her dress as she slowly slinks downward, how the pavement below is so much cooler than the wall behind her when she collapses into a heap. She can ignore the pain that resounds in her chest as a sob builds, the sharpness with which her fingers dig into her arms as she grabs her shoulders.

None of it means anything. This is a dream. It has to be a dream.

Yet no matter how long she waits, she doesn't wake up.

This is a dream. It has to be a dream.

That isn't enough to stop the tears from falling when Gabi finally forces herself to look back up, toward the mouth of the alley, and sees Wall Rose looming on the horizon.

Gabi hummed, eyeing Reiner thoughtfully. She really didn't want to push too far or make him uncomfortable, but... it did look like it was a good day for him, and she really did want to know about more than just the walls themselves. Maybe, if she was very careful, she could learn something meaningful. Maybe, just maybe...

"What are you thinking?" Reiner asked.

"What makes you think that I'm thinking anything?" Gabi challenged, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know you better than to think that you aren't."

"I'm not always thinking!"

Reiner grinned, his eyes glimmering with a hint of playfulness that she would never have seen in him three years ago. It was a change that she was still getting used to, but it was a good one. "Alright then. I concede; your head is completely empty."

Gabi squawked and pointed at her cousin accusingly. "You know that isn't what I meant!"

"Prove it, then."

Gabi sighed, all of the wind pouring out of her sails as easily as it had settled there. She'd wanted to worm information out of Reiner a little more subtly, but if he was asking... well, maybe that was a good sign. Maybe she would be able to get something solid out of him this time after all.

"I was wondering about what everyone was like back when you first knew them," she said.

When you first knew them. Back before they knew who Reiner was. She didn't say the words outright, but she could tell from the shift in Reiner's eyes that he knew what she meant. "I see," he murmured, crossing his arms.

"You don't actually need to say anything, if you don't want to," Gabi hurried to say, even as the curious part of her nagged for her not to.

Reiner shook his head. "No; I don't mind you asking. It's just..." She knew immediately that he wouldn't tell the truth - that he didn't know what to say, that he didn't know how to say it, that even after three years, the important parts still hurt too much to talk about. Indeed, the side of Reiner's lips twitched up and he shook his head slightly. "At least I don't need to pretend that they were devils anymore."

"You didn't do a very good job of making them sound devilish," Gabi murmured, her mind wandering toward the girl who Reiner had spoken about the most on that evening. The potato thief, the woman Gabi had shot. She had been one of his friends. Was there a chance that he would tell her about her?

"No, I suppose I didn't."

Reiner sighed and uncrossed his arms in order to run a hand through his hair. "Everyone's changed a lot since then. Some of them are less obvious than others, but some of them..." A spark of fondness broke through the heavy cloud that had fallen upon him. "Jean's barely recognizable from when he first joined the training corps."

"Jean?" Gabi asked, intrigued.

"Kirstein used to be a blowhard utterly set on joining the Military Police and living a cozy life in the interior. Bit of a coward, too."

Gabi shook her head. "No way. That's... there's no way!"

Reiner grinned. "It's true. Connie also wanted to join the MPs, but he was never as obnoxious about it. He also used to be, well, a lot less mature."

"Was he annoying?"

"I didn't think so. Honestly, he was a lot of fun. Still is, but back when it was him and..."

Reiner trailed off, gaze growing distant and pained. Gabi immediately knew that she wouldn't be getting anything more from this line of questioning and scrambled to find a new topic to divert to. The first thing that came to mind was to ask what made them decide to join the Survey Corps, but she dismissed it as soon as she thought of it. She may not have known a lot about what happened back then, but she knew that the 104th had been through a lot. Connie probably could have been convinced by something else, but knowing Jean, it was probably one of the big, terrible things that made him decide to risk his life and devote his heart. Something that made him feel responsible and aim for a higher purpose. If it was one of the big things, then pushing the envelope and asking Reiner about it would just risk him clamming up completely.

Instead, Gabi redirected the topic towards something that felt safe. "What about Armin?" she asked. "Has he changed much?"

"Yes and no," Reiner said. His tone of voice sent a wave of displeasure through Gabi. He was talking, but he sounded disconnected, all caught up in something she couldn't see. She was losing him. But he was talking, so for the time being, Gabi remained silent and hoped that he would snap out of it. "Armin has always been Armin. He's gotten more confident and quicker to share his ideas, but at his core, he's still the same person he was back then. The biggest difference is who he hangs out with."

An extra note of strain had entered Reiner's voice. It made Gabi want to back off, but at the same time, something that he had said made her too curious to stay quiet.

One more question. She would let herself ask one more question, then she would back off. "He and Annie weren't close back then?" she asked.

"Annie was as close to him as she was to anyone. Probably a bit closer, looking back. But what I meant was that Armin was friendly with everyone, but he was inseparable from Mikasa and..."

Eren.

Both of them fell silent, Reiner staring down at the table and Gabi staring at Reiner. Unbidden, a question came to her mind.

Were you and Eren close?

Gabi didn't ask it. She never would, didn't think that she wanted it answered. Even so, Reiner sighed and lifted his gaze back up to meet Gabi's, where he offered her a joyless smile. "You know... Eren and I were the same in a lot of ways."

"That's not true!" Gabi exclaimed, a scowl forming on her face. "You're not..." She shook her head. "Don't talk about yourself like that."

Reiner cast her a long look. For a moment, it looked like he wanted to say something. The look vanished a heartbeat later. "Sorry. Didn't mean to upset you."

"You're upsetting yourself," Gabi sniffed. "Tell me more about how insufferable Jean was."

So he did. He told her about Jean's arrogance and braggart tendencies, about Connie's immaturity, about how Armin was insightful from the very beginning, and how Annie cared more for her comrades than she let on. But he didn't say anything about anyone who Gabi didn't already know.

And he didn't say a word about how they became the people they were today.

Two days pass. Gabi spends them wandering the streets of Trost, her once-nice dress growing dirty and tattered as gunk finds its way onto her skin and bags under her eyes. On the first day, she doesn't drink. On the second day, she finds a public well and drinks her fill of what is almost certainly dubious water. She takes note of its location and takes care not to wander too far away from it.

Hunger is another problem. It gnaws at her stomach with ever-increasing ferocity. She often finds herself staring longingly at the stores and stalls that line the streets of Trost, but although her head fills itself with all the ways she could snag herself something to eat, she never acts on her fantasies. Too many people would be disappointed in her if she stooped to that level. She would be disappointed in herself.

Besides, there's no need. There's no way that she could have gone back in time. It's just a dream. She will drink from an imagined well to stave off the illusion of thirst, but she will not let herself be driven to theft. If her hunger is reaching the point of physical pain, it must just be because she has an active imagination. She curls up in drafty little corners of the district and drifts off into something resembling sleep in the latest hours of the night, but she does not dream, which is surely a sign that this is not real.

This is a dream. Even so, it would be nice if the people around her reacted a little less realistically. The more disheveled she grows, the dirtier looks she receives from the people around her. It's like they expect her to turn around and start stealing. Which, if they were real, is probably exactly what they would expect from a random girl on the streets. But even if this were real and she did decide to steal, it isn't as if it would be for no reason. She doesn't have any money, and it isn't like there are many other ways to get food without it.

Some people seem to realize this though. They are the ones who give her soft, sad looks when they pass her by. Gabi is grateful for them on the first day. For the reminder that even in this warped dream world, not all humans are heartless. That gratitude does not last long. On the second day, the pity begins to get under her skin. Of the people who have given her those looks, only a few have stopped to toss a coin at her feet, and none of them have offered any meaningful help. It isn't as if she would have accepted their help, but their refusal to even try to make a real difference grates all the same.

For two days, Gabi wanders the streets of Trost and tells herself that it's all a dream. The third night is what changes things. She does not sleep at all, her hunger reaching new heights and keeping her awake as it claws at her insides.

On the morning of the third day, she watches as the sun crawls over Wall Rose and paints the world in hues of rose-gold light. It is then that a realization sets upon her, gradual enough for her to mourn its arrival and sharp enough to rent her in half.

If this is a dream, then it is one that she isn't waking up from. A nightmare without end.

And that makes it reality.

That means that she needs to...

She needs to eat. There are people who would be disappointed in her if she stole, but she also knows for a fact that those very same people would rather she steal than starve. She also knows that they'd want her to come up with a plan. Her hunger has also reached a point where it is making her mind sluggish and slow, which would force food to be her first priority even if the suddenly very real risk of starvation weren't already enough to do that.

Gabi stakes out her target first. When it's time to act, she moves quickly and carefully, swiping a good-sized pastry and escaping the scene of the crime before the vendor catches so much as a glimpse of her. She ducks into an alleyway and scarfs it down without taking the time to actually taste it. It is warm though, and that warmth provides some scant measure of comfort as it slips down her throat to rest in her empty stomach.

She slumps down against the ground and allows herself to bask in the feeling of not starving for a moment. Just a moment, for that is all that her situation will allow. It's all that the barbed web of emotions writhing within her will let her have, for as her mind begins to clear back up, they reassert themselves with a previously unseen clarity, pressing their thorns up against her and tearing holes into her very soul.

Gabi has been thrown back into the past. Except she isn't just in the past; she is on Paradis, in the walls, in Trost, in the very year that Reiner will launch his attack on the district. It's coming. She knows it's coming, and...

And what? What will happen if she changes things? Gabi wants to get home, but she doesn't have the faintest clue as to how. No matter how much she rakes her mind, the only thing that comes to her is to wait for time to pass. She can hide away from everything, keep to herself, and let events play out. Then, once the Alliance of this era has grown up and become her Alliance, she can find them.

Except that won't work, will it? This Alliance will have their own Gabi, a young girl who fought with them. She'll be older, a stranger, and even if she's able to convince them that she is who she says she is, things will never be the same. It would also mean...

It would mean standing by and letting the Rumbling happen.

If she wants to get anywhere close to going home, she needs to allow Eren Yeager to destroy 80% of the world.

Suddenly, Gabi knows what she needs to do. The realization crashes down on her with the weight of multiple lifetimes and nearly draws a sob out of her lips. She bites it back and slaps a hand over her mouth, fiercely blinking her eyes to keep tears from welling up. There can be no breaking down right now. She has to keep thinking, to keep planning, to force herself to actually do what she knows that she needs to.

Getting involved means changing the specific order of events that made everything work out the way it did. It means accepting the fact that she will never be able to go home. Except... no matter what she does, she will never be able to go back to the home that she remembers.

Reiner may have told her next to nothing about his time on Paradis, but she knows that he wanted to go home. She knows that he did horrible things in his desperation to go home. He did things that he would regret for the rest of his life, and when he finally returned to Marley, it wasn't what he had hoped for. Gabi cannot allow herself to repeat his mistakes.

If she's very careful, she might be able to keep him from making those same mistakes as well.

Not just him either. Mikasa. Jean. Connie. Armin. Annie. Levi. They all have terrible regrets, and if she plays her cards right, she may be able to save them from them.

No, more than that. She can... she can...

She can save Trost District.

She can save the world.

...She can save Marco Bodt, remove one more regret from both Jean and Reiner's hearts. He won't die if the attack on Trost never happens. After that, if Reiner never returns to Marley...

...If Reiner never returns to Marley, then there's a very real chance that his family will be condemned. Her family. They and some other Gabi will be turned into mindless titans and sent away to Paradis. The thought makes her stomach churn and her heart waver. She mitigates both by thinking of everyone who was crushed underfoot during the Rumbling, all of the lives that must have been lost in the battle of Trost. Her family is not worth all that destruction. She is not worth all of the pain that Reiner will cause if left on his current path. If her other self dies... If her other self dies...

...If her other self dies, then Sasha Braus will live.

If her other self dies, then Falco will have no reason to stay in the warrior program. He can drop out and live a normal childhood. He can be safe.

The thought brings a broken smile to Gabi's lips. If Reiner were here, he knows that he would tell her to stay safe and take care of herself. Falco, too. Jean. Connie. Mikasa. Annie. Armin. All of them would balk at the idea of her getting involved in what she knows is to come. They would be hypocrites, because she knows that they wouldn't hesitate to thrust themselves into the heat of danger if they thought that there was even a fraction of a chance to change the past.

They always carried the memories of the loved ones they had lost and tried to save the ones they could still reach. Now Gabi will do the same.

...Levi would support her. He wouldn't be happy about it, but he would understand what she is doing and why she has to do it. He would tell her to take her chance to fly.

But how?

She knows that if she wants to have a shot at changing things in time, she needs to get in with the 104th. In order to do that without having gone through any military training, she will need to catch the eye of someone very important. But how can she hope to do that?

...She knows how. After all, she's already heard this story.

Gabi eyed Levi with a frown. He was sitting at his work table sorting piles of tea into little baggies. She knew from experience that sorting tea leaves was monotonous work, but his good eye was focused on his task with such intensity that it could be mistaken for a delicate part of a high-stakes mission. Except he hadn't looked anything like that during the Rumbling, when he was active and doing something important. The Levi from back then radiated with power, fury, and a solemn duty unlike anything that she had seen before or would ever see again. What she saw before her was simply a man who got too worked up about his tea.

Got too worked up about his tea and stayed too worked up about his tea. Gabi's frown when she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was ten in the evening. It was ten in the evening, the shop had been closed down for three hours, and Levi was still locked away in the back fretting over his leaves.

Of course, Gabi thought, glancing down at the broom in her hands, I can't say that I'm any better. Falco had gone home two hours ago, but she'd been cleaning ever since closing. He had tried to get her and Levi to go with him, but Gabi had called him a slacker and argued that there was nothing wrong with doing a little extra work. Now, however...

They had done extra work. The extra work had been done. If Levi wouldn't realize that and snap out of his leaf-based hypnotism, then she'd just have to lead by example.

She set the broom down in the corner and flopped down in the chair across from Levi. Immediately, his gaze snapped up, boring into her for a second before flickering over to the abandoned broom. Eyes narrowing, he warned, "You'd better put that broom back where it belongs."

Gabi waved her hand dismissively. "I will when you stop sorting tea leaves."

Levi gave her a disapproving glance. "I'll stop when they're done."

"Then I guess it'll stay there until you're done," Gabi retorted, crossing her arms.

There was no immediate reaction from Levi. The stubborn old man went right back to sorting his tea. It was as he was carefully placing a fresh pinch of tea into a new bag that he asked, "Are you going to sit there until I'm done as well?"

"Yep."

"You know I don't have that chair there for you to lounge around in it."

"Oh? So Falco and Onyakopon get to lounge around, but not me? Is that it?"

"It was part of the table set."

"You still could have broken it up if you didn't want anyone else to be able to sit down."

"That would have defeated the point of getting a set."

Gabi huffed and leaned back in her chair, the front legs rising a few inches off the ground. Levi's gaze snapped up to glare at her. She met it head-on, challenging, only to ease her chair back down to the ground a few seconds later.

"You know, I can do more than just sit here," Gabi declared. "I can talk as well."

"You are talking."

"I could talk more. Or..." Gabi paused, the image of Levi as he was during the Rumbling flashing through her mind. "Maybe you could do the talking."

Levi's hands, which had been in the process of tying off a teabag, paused. He stared down at it for a moment before meeting Gabi's gaze with a sigh. "What is it that you want to know about?" he asked, voice even and measured.

Gabi faltered. She hadn't really been thinking about it when she spoke. It just happened, an impulse that she wasn't able to catch in time. If she had taken the time to think about it, she probably would have expected Levi to ignore her or brush it off. But instead, this was happening. He had responded, and if she played her cards right, she might actually have the opportunity to learn about his life on Paradis.

"Well," she carefully began, "you were humanity's strongest soldier for a long time. So you probably have a lot of-"

"-I'm not telling you about the Survey Corps," Levi interrupted. "Not tonight."

Gabi felt her shoulders start to droop and immediately straightened them back up. There was no point in being disappointed; she should have known better than to expect Levi to talk about his past. She had to choose her words more carefully, make sure that she didn't touch on anything too sensitive and personal. She had to-

Levi snorted. "Careful. Try thinking any harder and your head's going to explode." A ghost of a smile flickered across his lips. "You know, I really thought you'd stop reminding me of her by now. Then you go making faces like that."

Gabi blinked. "Remind you of who?"

The smile faded. A distant look crossed Levi's face, just for a moment, before he shook his head and anchored himself back in reality. "You wouldn't know her. She died a long time ago."

"Oh," Gabi whispered. Of course she was dead; most of the people Levi cared about were. And he only got that look on his face when he was thinking of someone he cared about.

"Her name was Isabel Magnolia." The words came suddenly, an undercurrent of something raw beneath Levi's level voice making them almost hurt to hear. "She died in 844, along with Farlan Church. I haven't told anyone about them since."

An undeniable heaviness had made its way into the room. It made it hard to even move, let alone think or speak. But she couldn't just sit there and do nothing, not if Levi was really saying what she thought she was. Or making the offer that she thought she was. If he was... oh, Gabi wanted to know what he was going to say. What could have been so very important that Levi Ackerman, one of the strongest people she knew, couldn't stand to talk about it for years.

But Levi was a lot like Reiner in some ways. That meant that she had to be careful, that she couldn't push him too far or let him think that he had to go too far out of her comfort zone. So even with the curiosity gnawing away at her, she forced herself to open her mouth and say, "You don't have to if I don't want to."

Levi shot her an unimpressed look. "Do you think I would have brought it up if I didn't want to talk about it?"

It was a simple question - too simple a question. A trick question. People brought up things that they didn't actually want to talk about all the time, for all sorts of convoluted reasons. Sometimes it was because they needed to talk about something even if they didn't want to, but only sometimes. Gabi knew that, and she knew that Levi knew that as well. That was why, instead of giving him a proper answer, she offered him a searching look.

She got her response in the form of a long, tired sigh. "Damn brat," Levi muttered. "It's not that complicated. After how far we've come, I figured it's about time that I entrust their memory to someone. If you listen, you'll get to find out how I joined the Survey Corps."

Gabi nodded. Suddenly, the air didn't feel tense, but fragile. Like a precious memory. It gave her the sense that joining the Survey Corps was the least important part of what she was going to hear about them. "Alright. So tell me about them."

It took a moment for Levi to find his words. When he did, he warned, "I don't know if I can get right to them. And it's not a pretty story."

"That's alright," Gabi said. "None of us have pretty stories. Just say whatever you need to."

Levi nodded slowly, something sad and distant sparkling in his eye. Words that had gone unspoken for a long time and needed to get out. "There was an underground city beneath Sina," he finally began. "It was filled with scum, lowlifes, and all of society's other castoffs. That's where I was born."

Gabi spends a week living as a thief. Although the pitying people of Trost have given her a handful of coins, they are not enough to buy anything substantial. As such, she tucks them away beneath a pile of loose bricks behind a store before setting off.

The first thing that she stole was the pastry, but the second thing she steals is a change of clothes. It's just a loose shirt and pants nabbed from a clothesline, but they're more practical than her dress, which she reluctantly discards in a dumpster. She repeats the process a few more times until she has a small handful of mismatched outfits.

It is only after she's acquired her clothing that she realizes that she has nowhere to keep it. As such, she tucks it all behind a dumpster before setting off to find a bag. That means staking out a shop, staying out of sight to avoid suspicion, and striking quickly and carefully. It takes her the better part of a day, but in the end, she makes it out with a large leather knapsack. She snags some more food from a particularly inattentive street vendor before doubling back to collect her clothes and money. It's a relief to find that no one found her coins while she was away, and an even bigger one when she sees that her clothes are still there.

With that taken care of, she spends the rest of the week familiarizing herself with Trost. She never dares to wander too far away from the public well, but she learns all of the stores in the area and landmarks in the area. To a degree, she also learns about the people. She starts to recognize the people who live in the nearby houses, the ones who offer her kindly smiles and the ones that look at her like she's dirt on the bottom of their shoe. She learns which shops are easy to steal from and which have shrewd owners that are better avoided. The ones that she suspects would be especially harsh on her if they caught her. The ones that seem like they might let her go if they caught her. Contradictory though it may be, she tries to avoid stealing from those ones.

Over the course of a week, Gabi gets to know the district that will be devastated if she doesn't change the future.

Most importantly, she figures out which bars are frequented by members of the Garrison Regiment.

It didn't happen often, but there were times when the former members of the Survey Corps couldn't quite resist smack-talking the other regiments. Even Reiner's mentioned the corruption of the Military Police and the Garrison's reputation of drunken layabouts. Armin always defended them, said that they got better in time, but it quickly becomes apparent to Gabi that there was at least some truth to those claims, and even if the Garrison Regiment of 850 is better than they were when Shiganshina fell, they still aren't at the top of their game. Not all of them. Not enough for them to be prepared to handle a disaster on Trost's scale.

But that won't be a problem if she succeeds in what she's set out to do. For now, the failings of the Garrison work in her favor.

Gabi makes her move on her tenth day in the past.

It's easier than she expected it to be. The trio of Garrison soldiers, clad in their ODM gear, are already visibly drunk by the time they stumble into the tavern. Gabi is tucked away in a shadowy corner, having spent a portion of her meager coinage on some disgusting drink that gives her an excuse to loiter. She watches with sharp eyes as the soldiers indulge in two pitchers of ale, growing more and more sloppy by the minute. Her heart starts to speed up when the soldier in the middle starts to fidget uncomfortably and pick at his ODM gear.

Gabi doesn't immediately strike when he pulls his gear off and drops it on the table behind him. Her heart is pounding in her chest and her muscles scream for her to move, to do something, but she forces herself to wait. To watch.

The soldiers are getting louder and louder as they grow drunker. A round of cheers goes up when a disgruntled-looking bartender brings out a third pitcher of ale. The bartender turns his back and hurries away as soon as the pitcher is handed off. The soldiers, loud and careless, appear utterly lost to their surroundings.

Gabi runs. She snatches the ODM gear off of the table and is fleeing the scene before she can even truly process what just happens. A shout rises behind her, so she keeps running, ODM gear tucked tightly to her chest. She turns down one alley, then another, and another. It is only when she is confident that no one is following her that she stops to catch her breath.

The first thing Gabi thinks is that it's going to take her a while to find her way back to the well. Her second thought is that she doesn't care. She could be miserably lost and it wouldn't matter, because now she has ODM gear. A wild grin spreads across her face as she holds it up, fingers weaving tightly between the leather straps.

Gabi knows what she has to do, has known it for more than a week. But now that she's stolen her wings, it suddenly seems so much more possible.

She is going to save Trost.

She is going to change Reiner's mind, to save him from himself.

She is going to kill Eren Yeager, preferably before he even finds out that he's a shifter.

She is going to save the world.

The Alliance had decided to pay a visit to Paradis. The Alliance, as in all of them, not just the ones who had gone on to become ambassadors. This was the second visit for the ones who had, but for Gabi, it was her first time setting foot on the island since the Rumbling.

She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing when she found out. It was no secret that most of the Alliance was reluctant to get her and Falco involved in political affairs - something about wanting to let them spend what remained of their childhood acting like actual children. There was a time when it would have grated beyond measure. Now, Gabi appreciated what they were trying to do and appreciated the gesture.

It still grated a little though.

No one had said it outright, but Gabi knew that Levi was the reason why she and Falco were allowed to tag along. His fighting days may have been behind him, but he wasn't so out of shape that he couldn't visit Paradis without caretakers. Even if he was, he could have easily found someone to fill in for her and Falco. He had pushed for them to be allowed to go with. Gabi wondered if it was because he had noticed that being left out still grated at her to some degree. Or maybe, possibly, it was something a little more sentimental than that. She knew better than to think that she would ever get to see the place where Levi grew up, but maybe he wanted them to see the island that he had fought for in a context other than war.

That being said, she hadn't actually seen much of the island yet. Just Shiganshina, where the Alliance was renting out a large cabin.

It both was and wasn't an odd choice of location. On one hand, it allowed Mikasa to visit them without having to travel that much. On the other...

Reiner was sitting by the kitchen window, sipping on a cup of tea as he watched the first rays of light peak over the horizon. Gabi frowned as she approached him. "What are you doing up so early?" she asked.

Her cousin lowered her drink onto the table. "I could say the same to you," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't count," Gabi said. "I've always been a morning person and I'm still in my pajamas. You're fully dressed, and..." She paused, squinting at Reiner. Even after three years, it still wasn't very unusual to see dark bags under his eyes, so that didn't tell her very much. But was it her imagination, or was he still wearing the same clothes from the night before? "...You didn't sleep at all, did you?"

Reiner shrugged. "It felt like a good idea for someone to keep watch."

"Right," Gabi murmured. She didn't bother asking if this was something that the group had discussed and decided upon or if Reiner had just taken it upon herself. She already knew the answer to that one, just like she knew that while the risk of a Yaegerist attack might have had something to do with it, there were doubtlessly other reasons why he couldn't sleep.

Gabi pulled a chair out and sat down at the table. Reiner eyed her for a moment before standing up. "Want some tea?" she asked.

"Sure."

"Fair warning, I'm not as good as Levi."

"I already knew that," Gabi said, grinning.

Reiner snorted. Despite everything, he seemed like he was in a good mood. Or as good of a mood as was possible while they were in Shiganshina.

Gabi's expression dropped into a frown. Rather than risk Reiner seeing it, she turned her head to stare out of the window.

Shiganshina. She knew better than to think that the others had elected to stay there because they didn't care that it bothered her cousin. No, he would have insisted that he was fine. She wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that he was one of the ones who insisted that they stay there. He wouldn't care that it kept him up at night. There was even a chance that he saw it as a good thing, or thought he deserved it, or however Reiner's mind worked to make him do things like this to himself.

Was Shiganshina the thing keeping him up at night? The constant reminder of his attack on Wall Maria? Or was there something else, some deeper thing that she wasn't allowed to know?

A few minutes passed before Reiner sat back down and slid a cup of tea over to her. Gabi accepted it with a smile and raised it to her lips to blow on it. Once she was sure that her tongue wouldn't be scorched off, she took a tentative sip.

Her tastebuds were immediately assaulted by a burnt, bitter taste that the generous servings of cream and sugar that had been added could only mildly mask. Gabi's face froze as she struggled not to grimace. Slowly, carefully, she lowered it back down to the table and forced her expression back into a smile.

Reiner chuckled. "I did warn you."

Just for that, Gabi picked the cup back up and forced herself to take another sip. "I don't know what you mean," she haughtily said, as if Levi wouldn't kill her if he ever caught her brewing a concoction like the one she was currently drinking.

Reiner chuckled again, but didn't say anything. He leaned back in his chair and allowed his gaze to wander back to the window. Gabi watched as his whispers of something pensive made their way into his expression, although it didn't shift into anything truly dark. Probably because he knew that she was watching.

Had it always been so hard to read him? Or was it different for the people who could remember him from before?

"Hey, Reiner?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

Gabi swallowed as she prepared herself to test her luck, to force herself to reach out and brush against that topic they never touched. "Do you think you'll ever be ready to talk about what happened back then?"

Reiner looked away from the window. He stared at her for a long moment, then allowed his eyes to slide shut with a heavy sigh. "I don't know," he admitted.

Gabi nodded and looked down at her tea. She wouldn't find any answers in it, but it was easier than continuing to look at him. "Okay," she whispered.

It wasn't okay, not really. She understood Reiner better than she had years ago, but there was still so much that was a mystery to her, and she wanted it all to become clear. But for all that she wanted her answers, she didn't want to press. So she would keep waiting. After all, one of the big differences between now and three years ago was that she had time to wait now.

Someday. Someday she would have her answers.

There are no words to describe Gabi's relief when she checks the tank of her stolen ODM gear and finds it almost completely full. She knows that it doesn't give her a free pass to mess around as much as she'd like. Stealing extra fuel would doubtlessly prove harder than getting the gear itself was, and although she has proven a decent thief, she isn't so confident in her abilities that she's willing to take that gamble quite yet. That means that she has to make her fuel last, make every use of her ODM gear count.

She has to get herself noticed.

The next five days are a rush of carefully planned recklessness. She uses her ODM gear once a day, always in short bursts, at different times of day, and in different locations, but also always somewhere she'll be noticed. Her excursions are exhilarating for all that they are short, filled with as many flips and twists as she can fit without blatantly wasting her fuel. Every time, a crowd gathers. Some of them cheer her on and delight in her displays. Others shout at her as a hooligan and cuss when her grappling hooks scrape at one of the buildings she maneuvers around.

She never waits around to see the consequences of her actions. Whenever she sees a Garrison member, that means it's time to go, burning up some of her precious fuel to put on a burst of speed and escape the scene of her seemingly wanton crimes.

Do they realize that she's using stolen ODM gear? Probably. She certainly hopes that they do; it would make what she is trying to accomplish all the easier. Similarly, she hopes that they notice the other pattern in her performances.

Gabi has been moving closer to Wall Rose with each display. Finally, six days after she stole the gear - sixteen days after losing everything - she finds herself standing at the base of the wall. The sun is peeking over the horizon, just like it was on the day that she accepted that this was her new reality. Many of the residents of Trost are still snug in their beds. That's fine; this display isn't for them. It is for the man who she can only hope has heard of her exploits and found himself interested enough to track her path to this place, this moment. If he has, then it shouldn't matter that it is so early - he wouldn't sleep in and risk missing there. He'll be there, him and...

Breathe, she tells herself. She's come so far - she cannot afford to break down now, right as she stands on the precipice of destiny. If her plan fails, then she'll need to come up with a new one. And if it doesn't... if she's able to make history repeat...

They won't be the people she loved, not exactly. Not yet. But she'll get to see versions of them, to stop them from becoming more damaged versions of themselves. She'll slay their greatest monster so that they never need to.

She'll get to see them again.

Starting with the person who unwittingly told her how to get there.

Gabi feels her throat hurt and her eyes begin to sting. She grits her teeth, squeezes her eyes shut, and presses one hand against the wall as she tries to compose herself. "Don't cry," she hisses. There's no time for crying. If the Garrison notices anything at all, then they'll know to be on guard. It can't be the Garrison who catches her first. That would make her a boring, petty criminal. Forgettable. That is unacceptable. She has to be remarkable, unforgettable, unignorable. She can't...

If her plan is a success, she'll get to see everyone who was in the 104th. Not Falco or her aunt or parents or Pieck or Onyakapon, but Reiner and Jean and Mikasa and all of them. It won't fill the hole in her heart, but it's still incredible. She'll get to help make their stories happier. She'll get to help them be free. They just won't be her versions of them, and depending on what she changes, they may never be. She knows that's a good thing, even if she can never tell them exactly why it's a good thing. Even though they will never know how much they mean to her.

There is someone who might already be himself though, regardless of what Gabi does or doesn't do. She can't take the risk that he will be bored or unimpressed and pass her by. It's selfish and immature of her, but if there's even one piece of her world that she can hold onto, then she's going to. No matter what tricks she has to play.

It won't matter if you don't get a move on, says a dry voice in the back of her mind.

Gabi pulls away from the wall and opens her eyes. They are dry now, focused. Peering up and at her goal. She takes a few more steps back, taking the distance she will need to get a good initial fling, flips on her engine with a few deft movements. There are only a few tattered blades in her belt, and she hovers her hands over them for half a second before dropping them down to aim her grappling hooks.

Not too high or she'll lose control. That would be sloppy. She can't afford to look sloppy.

Not too low or she'll move slowly. She needs to be too fast for the Garrison to catch her before she can reach the top. Fast enough to be an asset.

There.

She shoots her grappling hooks at the perfect spot in the wall, and with a powerful burst of her engine, she's going up, the sound of the wind rushing past her drowned out by the thunderous beating of her heart. She's moving faster than she ever dared, a mad rush to the top. Her hooks tear loose when she flies toward them, and before gravity can take hold of her, she revs her engine and fires them at the next spot in the wall, pulling her further up. It is then that a wild laugh escapes her lips.

See that, Falco? she thinks, a bittersweet smile pulling at her lips. You aren't the only one who can fly.

Gabi doesn't know how long it takes her to reach the top of the wall. It is probably a few minutes, but it feels like a matter of seconds. She feels secure in her flight by the time she is preparing herself to stop. Even so, there is a jolt of fear deep in her chest when she dares to look back and see how far she's come. The feeling is not familiar, but it is expected - that bit of fear that she knows is always felt when you maneuver the walls, no matter how many times you do it. It is far from the scariest thing she's endured these past several days, and so it doesn't stop her from hooking her gear onto the tracks along the top of the wall.

She digs her heels in as her feet hit the wall. Momentum carries her forward a few feet, but the chords of her gear pull taught before she can come anywhere close to falling off the other side. Breathless, she is left staring forward over the edge of Wall Rose as she pulls herself together.

It feels like she could see the entire world, even though she knows that she can't. The horizon, streaked with red and pink, melts with green hills and treetops at the very edge of her vision.

That is the distance.

In the shadow of the wall itself sits a more harrowing scene. Ruined buildings are scattered throughout what used to be a city, concave roofs and shattered walls. Gabi is too far up to make out any details, yet she has an aching idea of what she might find if she were on the ground. Skeletons from corpses that had been left to rot rather than risking a living man for the dead. Abandoned belongings, the artifacts of lives left behind. Footprints from the giants that have ravaged the area.

Then there is the wall itself. Titans stand gathered around it, staring mindlessly up and forward. Most of them are still lethargic this early in the day, but a few of them have already begun to claw at it in a feeble attempt to reach the people within.

Reiner did this, some distant part of her registers. Whenever someone mentioned Wall Maria, all the land trampled, the people killed, this was what they were talking about.

Reiner did this, but now that she is here, Gabi will make sure that he never does anything like it again.

The sound of footsteps makes her tear her gaze away from the edge. She looks to the side to see a handful of soldiers rushing toward her. There aren't any familiar faces among them, nor are there any Survey Corps emblems. It's just a handful of Garrison soldiers. However, as she stares, she hears footsteps rushing from the other side, and allows herself to hope that maybe, just maybe this will not have all been for nothing.

There is no time to think or hesitate. Gabi needs to make a big impression, and she isn't going to take for granted that climbing the walls is enough to do that. She needs to look remarkable. Unforgettable. Fearless.

She has already flown. But there's one thing that grabs people's attention even more than flying.

Gabi takes a second to check that her gear is still firmly secured to the top of the wall. Then she steps back to the edge facing Trost, holds her arms out, looks up to the sky, and falls.

Gabi didn't know what it was that compelled her to do it. She couldn't fall back to sleep, but there were umpteen other things that she could have done as she waited to drift off. There was no real reason for her to leave the cabin. It didn't make sense for her to sneak out to the grave that she had made a point of avoiding until that very night.

But she woke up with tears in her eyes, nightmarish memories playing in the back of her mind, and fury in her heart. It demanded that she seek out the man responsible for all of the bloodshed and woe, or at least what remained of him. That she came as close as she could to finally confronting him face-to-face. It was senseless, but her feelings did not care about sense. All that mattered was that she get this weight off her chest and see if screaming at the man who had destroyed most of the world might provide her with some shred of resolution.

Gabi didn't just sneak out in her bedclothes. She didn't sneak out in the sort of clothes that people went sneaking around in later. Instead, she pulled on a yellow-checkered dress and a pair of strappy sandals. It felt like she was proving some sort of point by dressing nicely to visit Eren Yeager's grave. It was as if he would look up from the depths of hell and see that she had been able to pull herself together after the devastation he had wrought, as if it would grant her some sort of power over his ghost.

(What a fool she had been.)

The night air was crisp and cold around her. It wasn't enough to make her hesitate in her trek. She may have never visited the grave itself, but she had heard Mikasa and the others talk about it enough times to know where it would be. Her fingers and toes were numb by the time that she reached the tree on that hill. She wiggled her toes against her sandals just to get a little extra feeling in them.

When the grave came into view, she curled her hands into fists for a different reason entirely. She walked toward the grave, slow and steady, and came to a stop a few feet away from her. There, she allowed the memories to overcome her once more.

Udo. Zofia. A massive wall of titans descending upon a world of innocent people. Those desperate few moments where she was caught in a senseless, thoughtless hell. A cold man who didn't seem to care about any of it.

"...Are you happy?" Gabi finally whispered. "Are you happy about all the people you killed? The destruction you caused? Most of the world is a wasteland because of you. Aren't you proud of it?"

She took another step toward the grave. She continued speaking as she did, her voice growing louder and angrier with every word.

"This is what you wanted, right? You broke the curse. You got rid of the titans. That was your goal, right? They all said it was. To get rid of the titans, no matter what. You... You had the Attack Titan. You could see the future. You knew that this was coming, and you still let it happen. How... How could you? How could you choose to be a monster?"

It wasn't that Gabi wasn't happy that the titans were gone. She wouldn't trade Reiner and Falco's lives for just about anything, and even though she had only encountered mindless titans once, the memory still haunted her. But how could Eren have done it if he knew what the cost would be? How...

How could the people she loved still care about him? They may have stopped him in the end, but Gabi could see it in their eyes. Those who had known Eren Yeager, for all of their condemnation, still looked back at his memory with some fondness. How?

"Maybe you didn't choose it," Gabi spat, taking another step forward. "Maybe you were always a monster." Another step, leading her to stand right in front of the grave. She glared down at it for a long moment before crouching down, down to Eren's level, or as close to it as she would ever be able to be. "That's right, isn't it? You didn't care that you were hurting innocents. You never actually cared about anyone. You weren't capable of forgiveness or sympathy! People hurt you, so you decided to hurt them back. You would have done your worst even as a normal human, and instead... you probably wanted to do the Rumbling from the second you realized it was possible."

Gabi stared at the grave, at the words carved into it. At the love that the monster she was speaking to had never deserved. "Someone should have seen the signs. Eren Yeager..." Carefully, tenderly, she reached out to caress the grave. "Someone should have killed you before you had the chance to hurt anyone."

Crash! A harsh wind entwined with a sound like thunder splitting the air. Gabi jumped to her feet and looked around wildly, only for her eyes to catch on what had to be an apparition. A trick of her imagination. Something that wasn't really there. Couldn't be there.

For a moment, she thought she saw a long-haired young man staring at her with empty green eyes from behind the tree.

"What?" Gabi whispered. She took half a step back -

- and for a moment, she saw a starry sky stretched out over a sea of sand.

Then it was gone, and Gabi found herself standing in a back alley in the middle of the day.

Falling feels a lot like flying if you know that you won't hit the ground.

It occurs to Gabi that she doesn't know that she won't hit the ground. Her plan is absolutely riddled with things that could go wrong. Her hooks could come loose and send her crashing down to the ground before she can right herself. The recoil when she reaches the end of her wires could severely injure or even kill her. There is even the risk that she'll come out of it uninjured, but too shaken to escape the Garrison quickly enough and end up arrested and tossed aside into some corner to rot. There are so, so many things that could go wrong.

That's fine. If you want to make any real difference, you need to be willing to take a risk, and this is the risk that Gabi has chosen. Besides, she's already falling.

And then, suddenly, she's not.

He descends upon her in a blur, ODM gear propelling him faster than gravity is dragging her down. A gloved hand grabs onto her ankle at the same instant that he halts, heels digging into the wall.

His face is different, but as she dangles upside down and blinks up at his face, Gabi thinks that she'd know that scowl anywhere.

"You caught me," she breathes.

"You didn't make it hard," Levi says, voice dry and utterly unimpressed. His gaze wanders down to her belt, where he narrows his eyes. "I thought you were supposed to be good at this shit."

"I am," Gabi protests, even though her identity is truly a tiny thing compared to the warmth blossoming in her chest. She puts her hands on her belt, pulls the wires tight, and corrects herself. Levi lets go of her ankle as she swings herself around so that her feet are planted firmly against the wall. "See?"

"I see a reckless brat," Levi says. "But there's someone who wants to talk to you."

Gabi dares to glance up at the top of the wall. There, she feels a figure with blonde hair peering down at them. She's far enough away that she can't make out any details, but she knows deep in her heart that it has to be Commander Erwin Smith.

"Alright," Gabi says. "Take me to him."

Levi gives her a long, calculating look. She isn't too surprised when he grabs her upper arm and all but drags her up the wall with him, even if she does feel a pang of disappointment that he doesn't trust her to just follow him.

Maneuvering onto the top of the wall is far easier this time, even with Levi keeping a tight grip on her arm. What isn't easy is what comes next.

Gabi's first thought as Erwin Smith approaches her is that he's more handsome than she expected. His eyebrows are massive, but he's handsome. Her second thought is that his gaze seems to pierce right through her, and if she wants him to believe a word of what she says, she won't be able to let herself hesitate or waver for even a second.

No, more than that. Now that she's gotten this far, she won't be able to let herself falter in her mission for even an instant, or else it will all come crashing down. This is her last opportunity to back out. She might end up imprisoned for her stolen gear and the following stunts, but she won't have to face...

No, she won't get to see the people she owes everything to. She won't be able to make their memories proud.

I'm going to save the world, she thinks.

"That was quite a stunt you pulled," Erwin says.

Gabi grins. "It was fun," she says, the lie coming smooth and easy.

A wry smile tugs at the Commander's lips. "I see. You must be very brave, in that case." He pauses for a moment before asking, "What is your name?"

"Gabi Magnolia."

Another lie, and perhaps even a cruel one. She does not dare look at Levi, but she feels the way that his grip on her arm tightens ever-so-slightly. A pang of guilt threatens to rise in her chest before she crushes it down. She has to use that name. 'Gabi Braun' would make Reiner far too suspicious far too fast. 'Gabi Ackerman' might get Levi's attention, but it's far more likely to grab Mikasa's, and she isn't sure that she can handle that right off the bat. But 'Gabi Magnolia'...

It must be so easy to forget one single face within the Survey Corps, no matter how grand their entrance. But Levi already told her that she reminds him of Isabel. If she also bears her name, then there's no way that he'll be able to ignore her. And she can't risk Levi forgetting her. She can't.

Erwin nods at Levi, who lets go of Gabi's arm a second later.

"Gabi Magnolia," Erwin begins, "I have a proposition for you."

Time's Witness

Museflight

Summary:

Trapped in the year 850 with Marco Bott as her only ally, Gabi tries to change the future.

Notes:

For Mavzell.

It's here! The fic! It Has Arrived!

For new readers, this fic has over 30k of prequels and probably won't make a lick of sense if you dive right in, so you'll want to read Fortune's Harbinger and Leap of Faith first. It doesn't necessarily matter which one you read first, although I personally suggest Fortune's Harbinger before Leap of Faith.

To returning readers! We're finally here, the main fic! I really hope you like it and are even a fraction as excited as I am!

Thank you to Jules for betaing!

As always, this fic was a gift to the fantastic Mavzell, who is an anime only and thus doesn't get to actually read it for A While.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Gabi stares into the fire. The flames flicker and dance, consuming the bones of everyone she had failed to save. It hurts to look, but she tries to keep her gaze locked onto it, for she knows that it will hurt even worse if she looks anywhere else.

So why can't she stop herself?

There is only so much space around the funeral pyres. Most of the 104th stand clustered together as a consequence. However, just as she cannot help but stand a little ways away from everyone else, there is a trio of cadets who have taken their places on the far end of the fire. There is not quite as much space as there is between her and everyone else, but it is enough for it to be noticeable. Gabi's eyes stray toward them without intending to. A tall young boy, a blonde girl - they only receive passing glances before her gaze settles on the person she can't help but look for.

Her eyes have been stinging ever since the fires started. She might be able to write it off as nothing more than the result of the acrid smoke if not for the feeling of her chest constricting.

I'm sorry, Reiner, she thinks. I wasn't able to stop you.

Most of her failure is easy to quantify. It can be found in every life lost and every injury obtained during Trost. The weight on her shoulders is that of every body thrown onto the funeral pyre. It burns like the flame itself and is the color of the black smoke spilling into the air. It is solid, tangible, inescapable.

But the guilt that her cousin will come to bear because she failed to stop him? Any pain and suffering that may spring from it, the things that had turned him into the shadow that she met when he first returned from Paradis? Those things are not so easily measured.

Reiner glances away from the fire and meets her gaze. Gabi takes in a sharp breath and looks back into the flame.

It is then that she notices that her hands are shaking. She straightens her fingers out in an attempt to force them to be still. When that fails, she clenches them into fists.

Stop that, she commands herself. Her meltdown during Trost had already been too much - she can't afford to break down again. She still has a mission, still has a debt to the living. So many mistakes to prevent, regrets to erase, lives to save.

A life to take.

She can't break down again. Even with the past several weeks they've spent together, even if she loves them dearly, she is not friends with the others the way that they are to each other. Not a dear enough comrade to be able to change a stubborn would-be hero's mind or keep a soft-spoken young man from committing an unforgivable sin. She cannot depend on her bonds the way that they can. If she wants to retain her position among the scouts as they become the scouts, then she needs to be strong. Everyone needs to look at her and know that she is too much of an asset to turn away. If she wants to save anyone, she needs to be better than she is. She needs to-

"Hey," a soft voice calls out. A gentle hand comes to rest on her shoulder.

Gabi spins around to find Sasha staring at her with sad, red-rimmed eyes.

Her heart breaks a little more, just like it always does when she sees her.

Gabi opens her mouth to speak, then closes it a second later. Her voice will be hoarse if she tries to speak, she just knows it. For a moment, she hopes that she could attribute it to the smoke. Then she remembers what she told Sasha during Trost, her admission of fear, and realizes that such a hope is probably pointless. But maybe that's fine. If there's one person who she had become truly close to among the 104th, it is Sasha.

Their relationship stands to remind her that the world is cruel, fate has a sick sense of humor, and she will never be allowed to forget what she did. That is fine. She deserves Sasha's hatred, not her friendship - friendship that would surely dissolve if she ever learned the truth. In this one aspect, Gabi is getting a far kinder deal than she deserves. If the tradeoff is that she be reminded of her gravest sin every single day, then so be it.

Even so, Sasha Braus is her friend. Her best friend among the 104th. Maybe she doesn't need to be strong around her.

Maybe. But she isn't going to take any risks right now.

"I'm alright," Gabi croaks, because that's probably what Sasha's wondering. That's just the sort of person that she is.

Sasha tries to smile. It is a hopeless attempt, weak and wavering, with the shadows that the fire casts over her face making her appear that much sadder, and she gives up after a moment. "I don't think anyone is alright right now," she whispers.

Gabi swallows heavily. Right. She needs to appear strong, but she can't risk seeming heartless right now either.

"No," she admits, "But I'm doing as well as I can be."

"Maybe." Sasha reaches out to take her hand, twining her fingers with hers. "But I'd still feel a lot better if you came with me." She begins to walk as she speaks, pulling Gabi closer to where she had been standing with Ymir, Historia, Connie, Jean, and Marco. Her stomach twists painfully as she takes in the sight of them, her heart splitting off in several different directions - most toward the promise of further pain, but one toward something else entirely.

Ymir and Historia stand closer to each other than to anyone else. Gabi cannot look at them for long without thinking of a boy, hundreds of miles and seven years beyond her reach, who is kind enough to love the world and foolish enough to love her. Pain and longing intertwine in a way that she can't quite bear right now, so she looks away, even though what she sees next is hardly easier.

Connie sits on the ground with his knees pulled up against his chest, staring into the fire with tears flowing freely down his face. It is a far cry from the ghost of what may come that she cannot help but see when she looks at him. A far cry, yet not completely different. The Connie she knows is stronger than this, but he is also fractured in some ways. Looking at him now, she cannot help but wonder if she is witnessing the first cracks.

It hurts, so she moves on. She looks away and allows her gaze to travel over to the person standing directly behind Connie, one hand slightly extended as he struggles to decide whether or not to reach out. Like all of the rest of them, Marco looks like he has been through hell. Exhaustion and grief weigh heavily on his features, doubtlessly worsened by the knowledge that she has burdened him with.

Marco looks terrible, but he is alive. The only person she has been able to save in the long weeks that she has spent in the past. All of that effort just to make one difference, one single life saved. What are the odds that his survival will turn out to be inconsequential in the grand scheme of things?

After another moment of hesitation, Marco lowers his hand and steps back from Connie. It is then that he notices Gabi watching him. He falters at first, but soon forces a thin, wobbly smile across his face.

Gabi tries to smile back.

No, Marco's survival is not inconsequential. He isn't inconsequential. His death meant something important to Reiner and Jean, so his life has to mean something to her. Besides, he knows who she is and where she came from now. She doesn't know if she believes that he can help her, but if he's willing to try...

None of the people around her are the ones she knows, not quite, not yet. Marco was different from them though. Outside of her knowledge of his death and the impact that it had left, he was a total stranger to her when she joined the 104th, same as the rest who had died before she got to know them. That makes him a risk, a dangerous person to put even an ounce of her faith in. A few weeks ago, when faced with the possibility of taking him as an ally, she would have dug her heels in and tried to take on all of the weight herself. But he had seen through her mask and reached out to her when she desperately needed someone. He actually listened to her when she told her story. It makes her think that she understands why his death might have had such a big impact. It makes her want to take the risk and trust him.

Even if Marco can't do much to help her, it might be good just to have someone by her side. Someone who knows where she came from and what she is going through.

Falco wouldn't want her to be alone. He never would have let her if he had anything to say about it.

Maybe Trost would have turned out differently if he were here. He'd always been better at handling sensitive situations.

Gabi feels it as her smile crumbles and fails. She tries to at least coax her face into a controlled, steely expression, but she must fail miserably, because Marco's own smile soon dissipates.

"Are you alright?" he whispers.

No, Gabi thinks even as she nods and whispers, "Yeah."

Sasha squeezes her hand a little tighter. Gabi returns it and offers her what she hopes is an encouraging smile. As Sasha tentatively returns it, she takes a moment to memorize her expression in the flickering light of the fire, reminding herself that she is alive. She hasn't killed this Sasha. She's alive, and as long as she has anything to say about it, she's going to stay alive.

Maybe Gabi couldn't stop Trost, but she saved Marco. That's something. She changed something. Jean won't ever have to experience what it's like to lose his best friend in such a terrible way. Reiner may have killed and ruined so many more lives, but at least he didn't directly murder a friend. Marco will go on to live his life and do whatever he thinks he can do to help her. Sasha will live a long life and her family won't ever know what it's like to lose her.

Gabi can still change things. She just needs to work harder, be smarter, do better.

Yes, she's okay. Really.

The sound of footsteps draws her out of her thoughts. Jean walks away from where he was standing near Marco and comes to crouch a few feet away from the pyre. She watches as he draws a hand through the mess covering the stones, coming up with a handful of ash and bone shards.

Jean has been a difficult person to juggle over these past few weeks. He's so much younger than the Jean she knows, yet when she looks at him, she can't help but see the dependable leader who she and so many other people look up to. There have been more than a few times where she's had to stop herself before she shows too much respect to a boy who's proven himself to be little more than a selfish twit at this point in time. Yet she would swear that she saw something else during Trost, a flicker of the person who he will one day come to be.

As Jean crouches amidst the ash, Gabi is acutely aware that she is witnessing something sacred.

Or maybe it's nothing, a malicious voice whispers in her ear.

She knows that Marco's death impacted Jean's decision to join the Survey Corps, but by how much? Would he have made the same decision if he had died? Will he, now that he hasn't?

How would the scouts fare without Jean?

A shard of apprehension laced with fear and dread lodges itself in Gabi's chest as she glances at Marco. She looks away before he can notice, so he can't see her second-guessing. Because that's what she's doing now - second guessing. She had only changed one thing since arriving in the past, only saved one life. And she wants that change to be a good thing. She needs it to be a good thing. But Trost had been so fast, and she hadn't stopped to consider the dark, miserable silver lining of his death. She was so certain that Marco's survival would be a good thing. But what if...?

Gabi steps toward Jean, her hand slipping out of Sasha's in the process. He doesn't respond, so she steps a little closer yet, stopping when she is less than a foot behind him.

Do the right thing, she thinks. Please, make the right choice. The scouts need you. I need you.

"Hey, Gabi," Jean says without looking behind him. His voice is choked. Would it still sound that way if he knew just how much more personal his loss could have been? "Why do you want to join the scouts?"

Something that feels like hope settles in Gabi's chest. The light touch does not completely dispel the fear, but it does make it easier for her to find her voice. It does not mean that she knows what to say, but after a moment of consideration, she decides to say what Jean wants to hear. The truth. Or at least, as close to the truth if she can afford to get. "I want to join the scouts because I want to make a difference. To stop things like this from happening."

"Right," Jean says. "And do you really think you can do that?"

Yes, she would have said before. Now, she looks at the fire devouring the bodies of those she failed to save from her cousin, dares to glance at the cousin who she needs to save from himself, and thinks of her overarching goal. Gabi wasn't able to stop Trost, but she knows that she can save the world if she can kill the man who would try to destroy it. She knows that she can save Reiner from further harm if she can get him to see reason. But how? How can she accomplish either of those goals when she cannot tell Reiner the truth and the Survey Corps will be protecting Eren with their lives?

Is it possible for her to change the world when she doesn't know where to start?

Yes, she thinks angrily, violently. Not because she knows that she can, but because she has to.

To Jean, she says, "I'll never know if I don't try."

Jean doesn't say anything for a moment. Then he stands and turns to face everyone, his expression that of a man who just received a death sentence.

The hope in Gabi's chest blossoms into pride, brushing away the fear and apprehension.

"And you guys? Have you decided yet? Which regiment you're gonna join? I've made my choice. It'll be rough but..." Jean's voice, already rough with fear, begins to shake as he holds the fist containing a handful of ashes up to his chest. "Damnit. I'm gonna join the scouts!"

Gabi steps back to stand beside Sasha and seeks her hand out once more. She grabs it and holds on tight. Although she doesn't dare ask, she suspects that she knows why, knows the decision that her friend is going to make.

"Jean..." Marco whispers.

"You've lost your mind," Ymir remarks, as if she isn't going to follow Historia into whatever branch she chooses.

"Ymir!" Historia exclaims.

Ymir shrugs, unrepentant. "I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."

Jean chuckles mirthlessly. "Yeah, maybe I have. And you shouldn't let my decision affect yours. But..." He lowers his hand from his chest, opens his fingers, and stares down into the ashes. "This is something that I have to do."

Gabi forces a smile across her face. It makes her cheeks ache, but it feels important to at least try, to give Jean this token of support as he makes the decision that will shape the rest of his life. "I look forward to fighting with you," she says.

"Me too," Marco declares.

All eyes snap to him.

"Marco," Jean breathes, "You aren't saying..."

"I-I am," Marco says. He meets Gabi's gaze for a moment, a small, sad smile slipping across his lips. "I was lucky to get out of Trost alive. I want to do something meaningful with that life."

"But what about joining the Military Police and serving the king!?" Jean demands.

"I still want to serve the king," Marco defends. "It's just... after all this, I think I could do a better job of that outside the walls than in the interior."

Sasha's grip on Gabi's hand tightens. She barely has a chance to glance at her before her friend hurriedly exclaims, "I'm joining the Survey Corps too!"

Gabi isn't surprised. She still pulls her hand away, turns to stare at her with wide eyes, and whispers, "What?"

"I mean, I told you earlier, didn't I? Up on the wall?" she asks.

"You did," Gabi says. "But after this, I thought that maybe..."

She didn't, but it's what she would have thought if she didn't already know, so it's what she says.

Gabi shrugs, smiling weakly. "Well, you're wrong. If you're all going in, I-I want to too." She pauses to look down at Connie, who rises to his feet and wraps his arms around himself, gaze glued to his feet.

"I need to think about it," he murmurs.

Gabi nods, as if she doesn't already know what he's going to decide, and takes a small, shuffling step back as Sasha walks over to throw an arm around his shoulder.

Ymir snorts and crosses her arms. "You're all going to get yourselves killed," she says.

"Well... then I'm going to die too!" Historia cries, holding a fist up to her heart.

Alarm flashes across Ymir's face, quick enough that Gabi wouldn't have caught it if she weren't looking for it. It has been replaced by something droll and unimpressed as she stares down at Historia. "Really? After making the top ten, you're going to throw your life away in the Survey Corps?"

"Yeah," Historia says, looking up to meet Ymir's gaze daringly. "And I'm not throwing my life away, Ymir. I'm going to make a difference!"

The two stare each other down for a long moment before Ymir uncrosses her arms and lets out a heavy sigh. "I guess we're all going to die, then."

Historia blinks. "Ymir, you don't have to-"

"None of you have to," Jean cuts in. "I'm serious. You shouldn't - you can't join the Survey Corps unless you're absolutely certain. "

Marco reaches out to place a hand on Jean's shoulder. "We know," he says. "We've made up our minds. Same as you, Jean."

Jean stares at Marco for a moment before letting out a mirthless chuckle. "We're all idiots," he mutters.

"No we aren't," Gabi argues. "We're going to make a difference."

And for the first time since Bertolt kicked a hole into Trost, she really, truly believes it.

Saving Marco's life wasn't a mistake. Of course it wasn't - how could it be? She did something good. It may only be a small difference, but it's a difference, and now she has an ally on her side. Someone to help her save the world.

Someone to help her...

Just for a heartbeat, Gabi dares to look across the fire, over at Reiner. Is he already feeling the guilt of what he's done today, or will it take longer to set in?

She doesn't know what will happen if he's allowed to reveal himself as the Armored Titan. She already knows so little - if they get that far without anything major changing, the situation may spiral completely out of control.

So it won't. She'll kill Eren Yeager and get through to Reiner long before they reach that point.

I'm going to make a difference, she promises.

Chapter 2: not too late to change your mind

Summary:

Joining the Survey Corps.

Notes:

Holy shit! I don't know what I did to warrant 100 kudos on a prologue, but I can't thank you enough for it! I hope you all enjoy where this story goes!

I do want to let you know that this story will be a little slow-paced at the start. We have 8 chapters until the 57th expedition starts. However, once the action gets going, it's going to be pretty much non-stop. (Also, I know you might be worrying, but I swear future chapters will come quicker than this one did. I've re-arranged my schedule a bit to allow for more frequent updates.)

Thank you to Giles and Jules for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Marco can barely breathe. He is standing in a crowd of the surviving cadets from the 104th training corps and Jean is right beside him. Yet at that moment, he feels utterly alone.

Up on the stage, lit dramatically by the warm glow of the torches, stands a tall, statuesque blond man. Everything about him radiates importance, yet Marco only looks for a moment before going back to searching the crowd. He doesn't even look back when the imposing man begins to speak, his deep, even voice resonating clearly in the night air.

"I am Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps. Today, you will choose a military branch."

He spots her after a moment of searching. Gabi is standing one row ahead and several people to the left. She is alone in the sense that she is flanked by strangers rather than surrounded by friends. Marco can't help but be surprised at the sight; he had expected her to be by Sasha at the very least, especially during this pivotal moment. Unless... maybe the importance of this ceremony is exactly why she is standing alone?

Even if she has already made her decision, she can't be completely immune to the emotions that are running so very high. Gabi's breakdown during Trost was the only time he has seen her as anything other than unwavering in the time he has known her. That wasn't very long ago, so there's a chance that she hasn't completely pulled herself together yet. Maybe she doesn't want her friends to see if she falters.

Or maybe she can't bear to watch her loved ones make this decision when she knows what pain and suffering might lie ahead of them.

"Put bluntly, I'm here to persuade you to join the Survey Corps."

Marco's eyes flicker back up toward Erwin and something in his stomach twists. The Survey Corps. He doesn't need to be persuaded; he made his decision the second he decided to try to believe Gabi. To try to help her. To stay by her side. There's no way that she will go anywhere but the Survey Corps, and so, that is where he will go as well. That does not stop an icy tendril of fear from creeping up his back or bile from churning in the back of his throat.

He glances at Jean and sees that he might actually be faring even worse. His face is pale and his hands are shaking. It makes Marco wonder if he will actually go through with it, this unthinkable decision he has made. There's still plenty of time for Jean to back out.

There's time for Marco to back out as well. He may have made up his mind, but he could still... it would be so easy to walk away. He's never been a hero, isn't the sort of person cut out to save the world. No matter how hard he tries, he probably won't even be able to do much to help her at all. Things probably won't go too differently if he walks away. Will Gabi hate him if he walks away?

"During the titan attack, you learned how terrifying they can be. And how limited your own power is."

Marco's gaze jolts back up to the stage. Limited? His powers are more than limited; he was next to useless at Trost. He may have killed a few titans, given Jean some advice that he hopes turned out to be useful, but at the end of the day, he would have been dead if not for Gabi. It is true that there is a big part of him that hesitates when he thinks of the tale she told, unable to completely believe in the concept of time travel even though he has decided to go along with it, but he cannot deny that he would be dead without her. No matter how she came to know what she knows, too much of what she said adds up for it all to be false. Reiner and Bertolt would have killed him if he called out to them. He owes her his life.

And that is why Marco needs to join the Survey Corps, no matter how much he feels like he's going to puke. He owes Gabi his life, and Gabi needs him. It's not that Marco thinks she needs him in order to execute whatever plan she has brewing. She's more physically capable than him, and stronger besides. But she's also one person. One single girl who, even if she isn't really stranded in the past and trying to save the world from destruction, she certainly thinks she is. No one person can bear that weight alone. Trost more than proved that. He might not be of much practical use, but he can at least be there.

And Gabi needs that. She needs someone to stand by her side so that she can turn to them when she's about to break, whether it's under the weight of a delusion or something far more terrible.

"However... This battle brought humanity closer to victory than it's ever been. Through Eren Yeager's existence. By risking his own life, he's proven himself, without a doubt, a friend to humanity."

Marco's stomach churns at those words. He looks back at Gabi just in time to see her shoulders tense. It's subtle enough that he would have missed it under different circumstances, but knowing what he knows, her discomfort is glaring. He wonders if her jaw is clenched and her eyes are blazing with fury, the way he noticed that she sometimes gets when she's especially upset about something. He wonders if she realizes how similar she is to Eren when she gets like that.

Probably not. She strikes him as the sort of hard-headed person who will subconsciously refuse to notice something that they aren't able or willing to accept.

Just like Eren.

Eren Yeager, who, if she is right, will go on to destroy the world.

"With his help, not only did we stop the titans' advance, but we have a way to discover their true nature."

Marco's heart skips a beat. It's possible that Gabi is just delusional. The terrible risk that she is telling the truth may be what he has decided to let dictate his actions, but he cannot let himself forget that what she is telling him may just be seeds of truth wrapped in a web of confusion. But if it isn't... If everything she'd told him is true... if the Rumbling is real...

He hasn't put much thought into what else Gabi might know if she is truly from the future. His mind has been reeling as he tries to absorb what she has already told him, his heart too caught on the bloodshed that he has just witnessed to allow him to force his way through it. But something about Erwin's words pushes through the shock and pain, forces him to connect the dots.

If Gabi knows the truth about the titan shifters, has seen how Eren Yeager will use a terrible power to flatten the world, then she probably knows the truth about the titans as well. The greatest mystery of his world, and she might be able to give him the answers.

"We believe that in the basement of his Shiganshina home, there are answers about the titans that he himself doesn't have. If we can reach that basement, we will find a clue that will end this century of titan rule."

It is not curiosity that fills Marco as the Commander continues. Or at least, he cannot consider it curiosity. He associates curiosity with warms and optimism, a certain joy that comes with the thought of learning something new. The thing he feels is dark and gnawing. He dreads hearing what Gabi has to say, but also knows that he cannot afford not to hear it.

They have not had the opportunity to speak in private since Trost. He knows that he will have to remedy this soon, but is also selfishly grateful that they haven't spoken yet. The air is already heavy with the weight of fate and a decision that will change everyone's lives. He doesn't want to imagine how it would feel if he had to face this moment burdened by whatever knowledge Gabi may have for him, dubious though it may be.

"We will head for the basement in Shiganshina. However, that requires us to retake Wall Maria. In other words, our objective hasn't changed. But with the Trost gate sealed, we'll have to take the long way around, from Karanes to the east. The battalion route that we've spent the last four years establishing is now completely useless to us. Over the course of those four years, we've incurred losses in excess of sixty percent. Sixty percent in four years... an insane figure."

Or perhaps it would be better. If he had spoken to Gabi, he would at least know the outcome of the insane plan that Erwin is proposing. Because she has to know, doesn't she? He doubts that Gabi's presence could have caused enough of a difference to make Erwin change his plan. If she is truly from the future, then she probably knows how all of this plays out. She knows if the operation to retake Wall Maria will go well and end in victory...

"Any trainees who join will participate in our excursion beyond the walls in a month."

...Or empty bloodshed.

"We expect thirty percent won't return. In four years, most will be dead. But those who survive will become superior soldiers with a high survival rate."

Aside from her initial reaction to the mention of Eren, Gabi has not wavered, so Marco looks back at Jean. He looks even worse than he had moments ago, like a man about to walk off to his own death.

Is he going to die if he does this? Did Gabi know of Jean Kirstein prior to joining the 104th? What happened to him in her time, if there is another time? Did he join the Survey Corps, make a difference, and die a hero? Or did he become yet another nameless soldier killed in the line of duty?

Marco doesn't like the thought of either. Is he going to have to watch it happen?

Not necessarily. He reminds himself that there's also the third option, that Jean backed out at the last moment and either rose up the ranks of the Military Police or faded into safe obscurity.

"Knowing those discouraging facts, any still willing to risk their lives, remain here. Ask yourself... are you willing to offer your beating heart for humanity?"

...No, that third option is not an option at all. Jean looks terrified, but there is a thick layer of despair lurking underneath that fear. It is the same despair that he saw at the funeral pyres, the despair that pushed him to declare that he was going to join the Survey Corps in the first place.

He's really going to do this. Marco's best friend is going to dedicate his heart to humanity - and probably die in the process.

"That is all. Anyone who wishes to join another branch is dismissed."

The crowd around them begins to disperse.

Marco does not move.

Neither does Jean.

It is selfish, but Marco can't help but whisper, "It's not too late to change your mind. They could use leaders in the Military Police."

Jean looks at him. His expression is grim; the look of a man who doesn't necessarily expect to survive past the next month, but refuses to retreat to safety. "I could say the same to you," he says.

Marco falters. Unbidden, his gaze flickers back over to Gabi, who hasn't moved an inch. "No," he whispers. "I don't think..."

He has chosen to follow Gabi, but he does not completely believe her. If she really is delusional, then he's about to follow a madwoman beyond the walls.

She might be a madwoman, but he still owes her his life. If she is delusional and he dies for it, then she still will have bought him some time. And if it turns out that she's right...

If she's right, then it's the end of the world.

What is his life compared to that?

"...I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't," Marco whispers.

Jean nods. His eyes are glossy and his entire body is shaking like a leaf. He struggles to open his mouth, his jaw so tense that it can barely move, but he manages to choke out, "Yeah. I understand what you mean."

Marco forces a weak smile. No, he thinks, you don't. He is doing this because of a set of truly extreme circumstances, an unbelievable tale and a mysterious girl who somehow made it seem possible. His actions are driven by an attempt to make good for a debt that he can never hope to repay. His hand is forced by the knowledge that if the impossible is truly happening, then something far worse than the titans rests on the horizon. Jean cannot hope to understand that.

What would Marco be doing if he didn't know what he does?

He isn't like Gabi; he can't begin to picture a reality where things play out differently from what he sees before him. There's no way for him to know for certain that he had survived Shiganshina without her saving him. However, he doesn't think that he would be about to join the Survey Corps.

As people walk away from the Survey Corps, Marco stands still because he has been compelled by something much larger than him. Jean stands still because he has decided to. His best friend had always been a selfish person, but the horrors he has witnessed have changed him, set him on the path to becoming a better person than Marco thinks he could ever hope to be.

Time is running out. The last few stragglers are clearing out of the area. Jean holds a shaking hand up to his heart. Marco moves to place a hand on his shoulder, but hesitates. Instead, he looks back at Gabi.

She has not moved a muscle.

Time runs out. It is marked by Erwin Smith asking a question of the remaining crowd. "Can you die if you're ordered to?"

"I don't want to die!" Jean abruptly shouts.

Despite himself, Marco smiles.

Erwin smiles as well.

"I see," he says. "I like the look on your faces." The Commander shifts, stands a little taller, his presence growing a little stronger. "Then I welcome everyone here to the Survey Corps! This is a true salute!" He presses one fist against the front of his chest, the other against his back, both placed over his heart. "Devote your hearts!"

Marco salutes.

"This is terrible," Jean mutters. "The Survey Corps."

Marco nods, because Jean is right. It is terrible. His heart races, fear rushing through his body and uncertainty flooding his mind when he tries to think of the future.

Yet he does not regret his decision.

"You are brave soldiers," Erwin says. "You have done well to endure your fear. You have my heartfelt respect."

Before they clear out, Marco casts one last look at Gabi.

She is shaking.

The scout leading the new recruits to their rooms doesn't seem very interested in what he's doing. He drones on in a low, boring voice as he leads them forward, eyes locked straight ahead. Gabi doubts that he has so much as glanced at the new recruits in the time they've been following him. It makes it easy for her to slow her pace and gradually drift toward the back of the group. Eventually, she finds herself beside the two lurking at the very back.

Jean looks thoroughly unhappy to be there. It's a surreal sight. Her short time with the 104th was enough to tell her that he did not originally plan on joining the Survey Corps. The proud scout that she knows is someone he grew into through harrowing experiences, starting with the battle that they just escaped. Logically, she knows that. Yet the haunted-looking boy before her is such a stark difference that she cannot help but do a double-take.

He is not the person she's looking for though. She cannot ignore him, wouldn't be able to even if it wasn't suspicious, but it is not him who she falls into step beside, but the freckled boy beside him.

Marco's gaze burns with questions as her eyes meet hers. Gabi can only imagine what he must be thinking. She's barely been able to stop thinking about it in those days since Trost, trying to figure out how on earth she'll go about explaining everything to him. Despite her best efforts, she hasn't been able to come up with a solid strategy yet. It's almost a relief that she hasn't had an opportunity to speak to him in private yet.

Almost, but not quite. She may dread trying to give Marco a full explanation, but that doesn't mean she can put it off. She needs to make contact, establish a line of communication. Marco believed her unbelievable story and actively expressed a desire to be her ally. That's...

That's horrible, when she stops to think about it. Gabi didn't and doesn't want to pull anyone else into her mess. Shouldn't need to. She has fought in the mid-east war, survived Liberio, persisted through the war for Paradis, helped the alliance stop the Rumbling, and fought in the battle of heaven and earth, all before she turned thirteen. When she was thrown back in time, she pulled herself together and found a way to get in with the 104th. Armed with her knowledge of the future, she should be able to make a difference all on her own.

But she can't. The devastation in Trost stands as a testament to her failure. If she fails again, if history is allowed to repeat... she can't let that happen again. She can't . That means that she needs to let Marco help her, just in case he might be able to do something that she can't.

Because there are some things she can't do.

She couldn't change Reiner's mind, not soon enough.

She couldn't save Trost.

She saved Marco, but if he gets himself killed trying to help her, his death will be on her hands anyway.

This knowledge darkens Gabi's mood and mind. Even so, she forces herself to smile as she quietly asks, "How are you guys?"

Marco smiles gently. "Alright," he murmurs.

Jean grunts, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes, but saying nothing.

"How are you?" Marco asks. She can't tell if he's making small talk because they can't talk about anything deeper or if he's asking because he genuinely cares. That would be silly though, right? He has to know that she'll only give him one answer no matter how she's feeling. Unless he's naive and emotional enough to think that she'll be honest? Or maybe he's like Armin and Jean, good at reading deeper into simple answers, and he's asking because he thinks he'll be able to see the truth no matter what she says.

Shit. Marco is her only ally, but she barely knows him at all. She really should have put more work into getting to know him as a person. This whole thing would be easier if she had tried to get to know him better. Instead, he spent her time in the training corps viewing him as a person whose loss greatly damaged Reiner and Jean, but not someone she'd have to worry about in the long-term. She had thought that she'd stop Trost and he would disappear into the Military Police, not that she would fail miserably and he would end up being important .

...Him being alive means that she didn't fail quite as badly as she could have. Reiner and Jean aren't hurting as badly as they could be. She still did one good thing. That is more than worth the unease of potentially working with someone who she doesn't know very well.

"I'm fine," Gabi says. It's a lie, of course, but as she looks at Marco and reminds herself that he's alive because of her , it isn't as big of one as it could be.

"That's good," Marco says. "But maybe... if you ever aren't feeling okay, you could come talk to me?"

"I could," Gabi says. "I'll do that when I have the chance. Thank you, Marco."

Jean looks over and squints at them. "Did something happen between you two?" he asks.

Fuck. Gabi opens her mouth, unsure of what to say.

Marco beats her to it. "Gabi saved my life during Trost. A titan almost ate me, and she saved me." His voice is soft and reverent. More importantly, he barely even stumbles over the lie. He falters near the end, but it's subtle enough that Jean doesn't seem to notice it.

"Shit," he whispers, shaking his head. Gabi forces herself not to squirm as he shifts his piercing gaze over to her. He is so much younger than the Jean she knows, so much more foolish and ignorant. However, as he stares her down, she can only see her Jean.

It hurts to look at him.

"Your intuition is something else," he says after a moment.

"Intuition?" Marco questions.

"Yeah," Jean says. "Gabi was assigned to my squad, remember? She said that she had a bad feeling about you, so I..." he trips over his own words and glances away. "She asked to go check on you, and I said okay."

"Oh," Marco breathes. "That's..."

"It's not stupid if it worked out," Jean grumbles.

"I wasn't going to call it stupid," Marco protests. "I mean..." he chuckles uneasily and rubs the back of his head. "I'm happy that I'm not dead."

Gabi thinks back to an uneasy campfire deep in the forest, to a terrible conversation between new allies. For the first time, the memory brings a smile to her lips. "We're happy that you're not dead, too."

More than you could ever know.

"Yeah," Jean murmurs. "That..." he looks away. "Enough people died back there. We didn't need to lose you too."

Pain flashes across Marco's face. He meets Gabi's gaze and she subtly shakes her head.

The recruits have stopped moving. She can hear the scout guiding them ramble on about room assignments. It's easy enough to hear him from where she stands, even with his droning voice, but she can't shake the urge to get a little closer.

"I'll talk to you later," Gabi informs Marco and Jean before weaving her way back into the throng of recruits.

The guide, standing in front of a wall standing between two corridors, announces that there are going to be three people in each room, girls to the left and boys to the right. He has already begun reading off assignments by the time she reaches the front of the group. It sounds like he's reading off their last names in alphabetical order.

For the first time, Gabi regrets giving 'Magnolia' as her surname. She shifts anxiously from foot to foot as she waits to receive her assignment. He isn't assigning rooms in order, which means that aside from knowing that she'll be with other girls, it's a crapshoot who she'll be rooming with.

Finally, he drones out. "Magnolia, Gabi. Room 35."

Gabi takes off down the corridor to the left. Her room is near the end of the corridor, the door wide open.

She hurries in and is immediately tackled by a hug.

"Gabi!" Sasha squeals, momentarily releasing her, only to grab onto her shoulders and start shaking her back and forth. "Mikasa, look! It's Gabi!"

"I can see that," Mikasa says. Her voice is mildly amused, but even with Sasha actively trying to scramble her brains, Gabi can't miss the layer of anxiety beneath her voice.

Right. They haven't seen Eren yet and Mikasa doesn't realize that he doesn't deserve her affection.

Gabi pulls back. When that only makes Sasha tighten her grip, she ducks down and jerks sharply to the left.

"Hey!" Sasha squawks.

"Maybe if you paid more attention in hand-to-hand combat you'd have a better grip," Gabi teases, walking around the room to approach the cot pressed up against the back wall.

Sasha's eyes follow her as she moves. "You were only in training with us for like, two months. You don't know if I paid attention or not," she protests.

Gabi raises an eyebrow. "Did you?"

"No," Mikasa intones. "She did not."

Gabi drops down onto the cot with a laugh and savors the feeling of some of the darkness in her chest fading away.

"That's not fair!" Sasha cries. "Just because I'm not all fight-happy like you or Gabi or Eren or Annie or-"

"-Most of your classmates?" Gabi suggests.

Sasha crosses her arms with a huff, only to uncross them moments later and point a dramatic finger at Gabi. "You can talk all big if you want. Take me on in a noodling contest, we'll see who comes out on top."

Gabi furrows her brow. "What's noodling?"

"Ah," Sasha stammers, a blush rising up her cheeks. "That's, well..."

"Isn't it a type of fishing?" Mikasa asks from where she's sitting on the edge of her own cot.

"Yeah," Sasha says. "Except, uh..." She looks to the side and quickly mutters, "you put your hand in the shallows for a catfish to bite, grab 'em by the mouths, and pull them outta the water."

Mikasa blinks. "So you wrestle them?" The stress in her voice is a little less apparent, curiosity weighing it down if even for only a second.

"That sounds fun!" Gabi exclaims.

"It's... It's not bad." Sasha shrugs, still looking away. "But I'm not sure you'd-"

"Recruits, line up!" The guide calls.

Gabi casts a surprised look at the doorway. "I didn't realize he could get that loud," she remarks.

"I mean, they probably have him doing this for a reason," Sasha says.

"I guess," Gabi mutters as she stands up. The three of them head out of the room, walking down the hall to join the other recruits.

Once everyone has gathered, the guide explains that they will be given time to settle into their rooms after they have toured the headquarters and received their uniforms. Unsurprisingly, it takes him a long time to deliver this information. As he speaks, Gabi allows herself to look over the assembled group.

Excluding herself, Historia, and Armin, only a handful of people who weren't in the top ten joined the Survey Corps. She doesn't give those people so much as a second glance. Marco and Jean are still standing together toward the back of the group. Jean still looks caught in a state of shock, but Marco, at least, seems a little excited. Sasha has wandered over to join Connie, who looks far more cheerful than he had been a few days ago. Ymir is standing with her arm slung over Historia's shoulder. The blonde seems to be listening to the guide attentively, whereas Ymir doesn't even try not to look bored. Mikasa has joined Armin, the earlier drop of levity she had found while speaking with her and Sasha having evaporated.

Reiner is standing next to Bertolt. Both appear to be alert and eager - perfect scouts. Gabi only watches them for a moment before her stomach twists painfully and she looks away.

They're moving soon after. Gabi only half-listens as the guide explains where they're going, only pays partial attention to her surroundings. She knows that she should at least try to focus, that it will be embarrassing if she ends up getting lost later, but she can't help it. Being around everyone has made her mood sink for reasons that she can't quite explain.

No, that's wrong. It's not that she can't explain it. The trouble is that she should be used to it by now. It has been weeks since she was thrown into the past and days since Trost. She should be prepared to look at him and see him following almost the exact same path as last time.

No, she thinks, glancing back at Marco. I don't know that this is the same as last time. Then, more forcefully, It can't be.

Marco catches her gaze through the group and offers her a slight smile. She forces herself to return it before looking forward once more.

Only a few minutes later, as they're passing by the stables, a horrible voice calls out, "Hey! Mikasa! Armin!"

Gabi freezes. A few paces behind her, she hears two other sets of footsteps follow suit. Then there's the sound of shuffling footsteps - Mikasa and Armin turning around - and Mikasa's relieved, desperate cry of, "Eren!"

She knew that this was coming, but it is something else entirely to face it. Eren Yeager, the crux of her failure, alive and now aware that he is a titan shifter, even if he does not yet understand the true, terrible extent of his powers. She waited too long to kill him, took for granted that she would stop Trost and have an easy opportunity to end him after training, and now it will be that much harder to do the job. Not only is he stronger, more dangerous, but everyone's eyes are going to be on him. She wants to say that she'll have to make a foolproof plan, but such a thing is impossible at this point. Whatever she does will run a high risk of getting her killed.

Gabi doesn't want to die. But for the sake of the world, for everyone she's ever loved, she has to accept the possibility. That doesn't mean that she needs to accept it easily . She's already sworn to fight tooth and nail to get out of this mess, to get as close to coming home as she can when "home" is something far beyond her reach. And if Eren makes that impossible? If he crushes her into the dust like he did so many others?

Then her last act will be to make sure that he follows her into oblivion.

"Man, am I glad to see you guys!" Eren crows. His voice brings with it another reminder. The fury that she feels is that of Gabi Braun. It is the fury that will enable her to save the world. But there is a time and a place for it, and right now, she is supposed to be Gabi Magnolia.

Eren Yeager and Gabi Magnolia are friends. She would be happy to see him.

Gabi whirls around, a smile plastered across her face, and approaches the trio.

At the same time, Mikasa grabs Eren's hands and says, "Eren... Have they mistreated you in any way, like subjecting you to any cruel experiments? Or some sort of mental anguish?"

Mikasa's concern and devotion would be sweet if she weren't fawning over a monster. As it is, it makes Gabi's smile waver, but she fixes it back into place before the slip-up can become visible.

"Not at all," Eren says.

Gabi can't see Mikasa's expression, but she can hear the heat in her voice, and the words themselves make her freeze. "That pipsqueak took it way too far. I will make him pay for it one day."

Pipsqueak...?

Eren blinks. "Hold on, you mean Captain Levi?"

Gabi's heart constricts. The others have noticed Eren and are crowding around now, but the sound of footsteps and cheerful voices fades into the background as she scans the area. It takes a little while, but soon enough she spots him, tucked away by the stables and holding a horse's reins as he stares impassively out at the group.

She has seen him once already, the fateful day on the wall, but it still feels unreal to see Levi without his scars. It is surreal, but that surreality is nothing compared to the overwhelming relief that comes from seeing him at all. She looks at him and remembers the careful eye that watched her during the flight from Paradis, feels the phantom touch of a hand guiding her and holding her steady as she aims her rifle at titans from high up on Falco's back. The sound of his voice manifests in her mind, but she can't quite think of what he might say if she were talking to him right now. How can she, when he's standing right there?

Her feet move forward without her thinking about it.

Levi's gaze snaps over to her, hard and assessing.

Gabi freezes and remembers. Levi, her Levi, would tell her not to rush over to his younger counterpart, warn her it would be stupid. To her, he is someone who she isn't willing to lose. But to him? To him, she is just the girl who climbed the walls, another face to get lost in the Survey Corps. She would probably be so very forgettable if not for the ghost whose name she claims to share. As it is, his eyes may be on her for now, but what happens when he looks away? If she doesn't prove herself remarkable enough fast enough, if she doesn't show that she's worthy of the attention of the great Captain Levi?

A warm hand lands on her shoulder. "Hey," comes Sasha's kind, but somewhat uneasy voice. "Are you, uh, okay?"

Levi looks away.

Gabi forces herself to do the same. "Fine!" she says, trying to be less aware of the sound of footsteps and clopping hooves as Levi leads his horse away. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, you kinda zoned out there?" Sasha says, smiling awkwardly.

"No, I didn't!" Gabi tries. "I just thought I saw..." What? What could she possibly say that could justify her zoning out just now? "...Nevermind."

If she were talking to someone else, that might be a problem. Luckily, this is Sasha. She blinks, then smiles and drags her a step back, back into the throng of new recruits. "Alright!" she chirps. "Well, c'mon, you don't wanna miss this; I think Eren's realized that Jean joined the Survey Corps."

Gabi snickers. "This'll be interesting," she mutters.

Indeed, focused on Levi as she was, she completely failed to miss Jean and Marco catching up with the rest of the group. Eren and Jean are standing a few feet apart, staring each other down as they speak.

"I just, I can't believe that you're here," Eren says, gesticulating wildly as he speaks. "I mean, you were so set on joining the Survey Corps, and you always said that I was..." he pauses then, and when he speaks again, it is with a grain of hesitation and hope. "...You didn't join the Survey Corps because I-"

"-Of course not!" Jean exclaims. "Your vendetta didn't have anything to do with my decision! I still think you're a suicidal maniac, and now you're going to get us all killed if it turns out that the brass were wrong to put their faith in you."

Gabi moves to take a few steps to the side, so that she can see Eren's expression as well as Jean's, but Sasha grabs her arm in a vice-like grip before she can get very far.

"Hey!" she protests.

"Nope!" Sasha says. "You had your weird moment, now you've gotta stay here with me and Connie."

"She was wandering away from you. I'm pretty sure she forgets that I even exist half the time," Connie says from Sasha's other side.

Gabi frowns at him. Normally, she would assure him that it's not true. Even if she doesn't dare tell him why, she would at least spout some bullshit - probably while patting his shiny bald head, because they're the same age and she can do that now. However, the spectacle playing out in front of them keeps her from doing so.

"I know that," Eren says, his voice wavering slightly, threatening to crack. He sounds regretful and frightful, like the thought of anyone dying because of him would wear deeply on his conscience. A plume of anger flares up in Gabi's chest upon hearing it. "I wouldn't expect you to gamble your life because of me. So why... why are you here?"

Jean opens his mouth. Gabi expects him to say something deep, something that shows his compassion and empathy, but no words come out, and she is reminded of how far he still has to go. The past weeks told her that this is a Jean who still struggles with expressing his emotions sometimes. It isn't that he doesn't know why he's here or can't figure out how to put it into words. He did a good enough job of explaining the night of the pyres, even if it was in a round-about way. He's getting choked up because of Eren.

Why? Does he care what he thinks, how he might react? He always puts on such a good job of seeming sure of himself. Doesn't he realize how much better than Eren he is? That nothing he says or does will change the fact that one of them is on the road to becoming a hero and the other destined to become a monster?

Marco takes a step forward. "I can only speak for myself, but... I barely escaped from Trost with my life." His eyes meet Gabi's and he offers a weak smile. "I want to do something meaningful with that life."

"Oh," Eren whispers. "That's... That's really noble, Marco. Jean, are you also...?"

"No," Jean says, voice tense and trying to be flat, but wavering at the edges. He looks away from Eren as he continues. "I don't think that me joining the Survey Corps is going to make any big difference, and that probably means that it isn't very meaningful. But after what I saw back there... Everyone who didn't even get the chance to try... I couldn't do anything else."

Gabi's chest aches. She wants to tell him how very wrong he is, to tell him that in another lifetime, he made the same choice and saved the world because of it. But she can't, so instead, she looks at Connie and Sasha, hoping that one of them will instead provide comfort to the boy who will become their closest friend.

They don't move. Of course they don't. This is too early in the timeline. Jean is more of an irritant than a friend to them right now. Instead, it is Marco who reaches forward to put a hand on his shoulder and Eren who opens his mouth to speak.

"Jean, that's-"

"Alright, rookies, form up!" a man calls. "Your uniforms are here!"

Jean walks past Eren without another word. Gabi eyes him for a moment before she moves herself. Apprehension churns in her stomach with every step she takes. There is so much that she needs to do, so much that she cannot say, and so much that can go wrong...

Yet as she puts the wings of freedom on her back, she remembers that despite everything she cannot go back to, there is still so much left to fight for.

Notes:

I can't believe I'm saying this, but we have fanart! The magnificent Sigds drew Gabi for us!

Chapter 3: At least I tried

Summary:

Gabi has a late-night conversation.

Notes:

It's Gabi's birthday today, so have a new chapter! It's a little on the shorter side, but this was one of those cases where it felt like adding content for the sake of making it longer would only reduce the quality overall.

Thank you to Giles, Sage, and Mavzell for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It's the middle of the night and Gabi is wide awake. When it was time to go to bed, she laid down and stared up at the ceiling, trying to will sleep to claim her even though, deep down, she knew it wouldn't. Hours later and she's doing the same damn thing. The big difference is that she thinks she'll lose her mind if she stays still for much longer.

She turns her head to peer across the room. The gentle snoring coming from the bed nearest her tells her that Sasha is fast asleep. However, Mikasa is a silent sleeper. Gabi squints and strains her eyes, but can barely make out her bed in the darkness. There's no way to tell if she's asleep or not. She supposes that it doesn't matter in the end. Even if she is awake, she isn't about to talk to her and risk waking Sasha up. After the week they've had, she deserves to sleep for as long as she wants.

Leaving the room also runs the risk of waking someone up. The thought makes Gabi glance between Mikasa's bed and the dark figure of the door, furrowing her brow as she contemplates the decision. She knows what the good thing to do would be. But... just leaving a room isn't as bad as talking, is it? It's easier to recover from too. Even if she does wake Mikasa or Sasha up, it probably won't be too hard for them to just go back to bed. If she just keeps laying in bed doing nothing though...

...Well, nothing will happen if she keeps laying in bed, but she really doesn't want to.

Gabi peels her covers back and quietly slips out of her bed. She walks across the room with caution, and although her footsteps are barely audible, the fact that she can hear them at all makes her wince. When she reaches the door, she wraps her fingers around the doorknob glancing behind her.

She can just barely make out two lumps in the dim outlines of Sasha and Mikasa's beds. Neither of them has made a sound. Either she didn't wake them up or they're being nice enough to let her think that she hasn't. She hopes it's the former, but even if it isn't, there's no point in sticking around.

The door makes a slight click when she opens it. She steps through and closes the door quickly, hoping that confining all the noise to one short timespan will make it less disruptive as a whole.

With that, Gabi is free to wander. Mostly. By the time she has taken a few steps down the cold stone hallway of the Survey Corps headquarters, her feet have grown chilly. It's then that she realizes that all of her clothes are in her room, including her boots. If she runs into anyone, they'll see her wandering around in nothing but her pajamas. That would be weird.

Oh well. It's better to be weird than to go back to her room and make that much more noise. Besides, someone can only see her if they are wandering around late at night as well, which would make them almost as weird as her. Gabi isn't going to crumble over anyone's judgment, let alone that of a fellow freak.

She wanders aimlessly for a little while. Eventually, her footsteps lead her to a door. The thought of fresh air is suddenly very tempting. However, a conundrum presents itself before she can go outside. It's chilly inside the headquarters. If it's chilly inside the building, it'll be even colder outside, and her pajamas aren't exactly thick. Gabi holds her hand up to the door and taps her fingers against the wood, considering.

Going outside really does sound nice. It might help her clear her head of the thoughts that she refuses to let herself focus on, or even calm her down enough to go back in and catch a few hours of sleep while there's still time. The cold might even help with that. It might not be comfortable, but there was a time when she was used to discomfort. She knows that she needs to get used to it again if she is to stand a chance against what is to come. Progress has been made over the past several weeks, but it wouldn't hurt to push herself a little extra.

Probably. If Reiner were here, he'd tell her that she might catch a cold, but... Reiner was the sort of person to fret about things like that. He was only right part of the time.

...No. Gabi can't afford to think about what Reiner would or wouldn't want her to do, not right now, not ever . Only what he would do himself.

Outside it is.

Gabi braces herself for the cold, but still grits her jaw when it hits her. She stuffs her hands in her armpits and wraps her arms tightly around herself as she marches forward in stiff, rapid steps. It only does so much to help. The real problem is not the faint breeze, but the cold, damp grass beneath her bare feet, sending the chill up her legs and through her body.

She's tempted to go back inside at first. The air is nice, but not quite as refreshing as she had imagined. She isn't sure that it's worth wandering around in bare feet.

Falco would have warned her ahead of time if he were here. It probably wouldn't have been enough to stop her, but he would have argued her into waiting while he at least got her a pair of socks. That was assuming that he didn't just give her his shoes and wander out in nothing but socks himself. She would try to seem unbothered when the cold hit her, but he would notice anyway. He always did. He would suggest that they go back inside, and she-

Gabi's breath hitches. She goes still as she forces herself to take in a deep breath, just like Jean would tell her to do if he was around and saw her getting upset. That makes her think of how Pieck would ask if she was upset, so she tries to clear her mind, like Levi would tell her to do. However, that only leads to her thinking about him. Levi, Falco, Reiner, Jean, Pieck - everyone that she can't let herself think about for too long. It's one thing if she's actively planning and moving towards her goal, but if she just stops and thinks about them in the moments of quiet, she runs the risk of breaking down completely. It happened during Trost. It almost happened during the graduation ceremony. She's lucky that she was able to collect herself enough to keep it from happening when she spoke to Mikasa before graduation. That's more than enough weakness. If she breaks down again right now...

...Actually, maybe this is one of the rare times where she can afford to think about them. She's the only one out here right now. If she cries, there will be no one to see it. No one will ask her questions or poke too harshly at her facade. Maybe it would be a little embarrassing, but she's cried enough tears since that first day that she's mostly past embarrassment by now. It honestly feels like she should have gotten used to it and stopped by now, but then something will remind her of someone or a stray thought will sneak up on her and sweep her off her feet once again.

Gabi wonders if she'll run out of tears one day. If she does, would it be a betrayal to the people she left behind? Would it be okay, since they'll never quite be the people they became anyway, or does that make it that much more important for her to remember and grieve for the damaged versions she'll never see again?

She looks up at the sky. The stars hold no answers, but they are familiar. They aren't the stars of her childhood, but they are the ones that she saw on that grave on that hill. She looks up at them, and for a moment, she can pretend that she's back in a world where the titans are gone, and if she walks back home to the people she loves, they'll know her and love her back. What she wouldn't give to be able to see them one last time. To hear from them; not even to get advice, but so she could have one last conversation with them knowing that it's the last and cherish it properly.

But she cannot stare at the stars forever. Even as she tries to forget, she knows that the moment she looks away she will be pulled back to a cruel reality where she both is and isn't alone. It is enough to keep her fighting. It is rarely enough to provide her with comfort. Sometimes it does just the opposite. Sometimes, on nights like tonight, when the knot in her chest grows too tight and painful, she wants to curl up and hide away from everyone until it's a little easier to be the strong person that she's supposed to be. She cannot do that though, for that really would be a betrayal.

"Gabi?" A young, frustrating, aching voice calls. Gabi flinches at the sound and whirls around to face the speaker. She blinks the mist out of her eyes, suddenly thankful for the darkness that should keep him from noticing it even if she isn't quick enough.

She doesn't have to hide the surprise in her voice as she says, "Reiner! What..." Gabi takes a step back just as a sudden breeze goes whipping by, sending a fresh burst of cold through her. She rubs her hands against her arms before continuing, "What are you doing out here?"

Reiner furrows his brows. "What are you doing out here? And... In your pajamas?"

Gabi forces herself to uncross her arms and plant her hands on her hips, cold be damned. "Why are you fully dressed at this time of night?" she counters. Reiner gives her a slightly disbelieving look, but she just stares him down. After all, she has a valid point. It might be kind of weird for her to be wandering around outside in her pajamas in the middle of the night, but it's also weird for Reiner to be wearing his uniform when he should have gotten changed hours ago.

A realization hits her in tandem with a bolt of anxiety. Why is Reiner up and fully dressed at this time of night? Her mind immediately flashes to the two titans that were slain only a few days ago. One of the great mysteries of the Survey Corps, she knows that was probably the work of him, Annie, or Bertolt, but that doesn't explain what he's doing now. The titans are already dead, so is he... could he be doing something worse? She wants to assume that there's an innocent reason for that, but she can't. Not when Trost might have been prevented if she hadn't allowed herself to believe that she had successfully convinced Reiner to abandon his mission. She doesn't know what he might be doing, but he's working on his mission, if it's something bad-

"I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I never changed," Reiner says.

"...Oh," Gabi says. "Neither could I."

She knows why she couldn't sleep though. It's the same list of reasons that often keeps her up at night, now with the extra collection of nightmarish images that she acquired a week ago. But why can't Reiner?

...He's staring at her. It's friendly on the surface, maybe even a little concerned, but she can't read deeper into it than that. She still isn't used to not being able to read him, can't quite bring herself to like or accept it. Gabi drops her arms down to her side, then wraps them around her chest once more. "At least I tried to sleep first," she mutters.

"You still could've gotten dressed before going outside," Reiner points out.

Gabi bristles like she never would around her Reiner. "And wake Mikasa and Sasha up? Some of us are considerate," she snaps.

Reiner grits his jaw, then frowns a second later. "I'm not inconsiderate. I'm just saying-"

"Whatever," Gabi mutters, looking away. Agitation burns hot in her chest. As the glances back toward the castle that serves as the Survey Corps headquarters, the heat is stifled by a cool trickle of guilt. Reiner almost sounded hurt just now. She didn't want that. She just...

This whole thing sucks. Gabi wants to walk away and put a stop to this whole horrible affair. At the same time, she wants to keep the conversation going, to push him a little further and see if she can find any more hints of the Reiner she knows, so that it really feels like she's talking to him and not just some stranger wearing his face.

One impulse wins out over the other.

Hesitantly, Gabi looks back over at Reiner. In a voice that is a little softer, a little gentler, she asks, "So. Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Same reason as you, I'm guessing." Reiner's lips twitch up in a wan smile. "You might be tough, but it takes a while to get over something like Trost."

So it is Trost.

Gabi's heart twists in two different directions. If Trost is keeping Reiner awake, then that means he regrets what he's done. Of course he does. He ' s Reiner, he has to. Even with Marco's survival, a lot of people died because of him and Bertolt. There's no way he can walk away from that with a clear conscience.

On the other hand...

Where does he get the nerve?

He may be on a mission, but he doesn't have to be as friendly with the other cadets as he has been. No one commanded him to play the role of big brother. They all trust him, love him. How can he lie to them like that? Why couldn't he just keep his distance like Bertolt and Annie? Or better yet, why couldn't he have just decided to do the right thing? It would have been so easy. She even did her best to spell it out for him. If he had just looked forward and chosen his friends instead of letting his family hold him back, Trost could have been avoided and he could be sleeping right now.

Gabi can't get too angry at him though, not over this. Not when it has to be her fault. For one thing, Trost wouldn't have happened if she had done her job properly and convinced him to give up the mission. For another, she must have changed something big right when she joined the 104th without realizing it. Maybe it happened even before that, some imperceptible shift that rippled through the world and changed Reiner's behavior. Because what he's done, the way he's acting, the deep, insidious way he's betraying everyone with every act of warmth and friendship... her Reiner would never do that. Sure, he had been a warrior for Marley, but he couldn't have hurt them as badly as the boy before her is set to. He wouldn't.

Her presence must have done something to change that. Somehow, she has fundamentally changed something in Reiner and made him so much worse, pushing him closer to the enemy, but not close enough for him to betray Marley for them. It's the only explanation.

That's alright though. He's done something horrible, but it's still not too late to fix things going forward. This warped, confusing version of Reiner is still Reiner. He already regrets what he's done. If she leans on that, his cruel closeness toward his comrades can serve as an advantage. He's probably so close to giving up the mission. She just has to nudge him a little harder. Then he'll give up, and when he does, he'll probably be so relieved that he stops acting weird and becomes the person he's supposed to be.

"Gabi?" Reiner prompts. It's only then that she realizes that she's completely zoned off.

She shakes her head, runs her hand through her hair, and lets out a little huff. "Sorry," she says. "I'm just a little off right now."

"Maybe you should try going back to bed," Reiner suggests.

Gabi gives him a flat look. Has her presence also hindered her cousin's listening skills, or did he just not have any as a teenager? "I just said that I couldn't sleep."

"Yeah, but you might be able to fall asleep now that you've had some fresh air. Besides." He pauses, raking his gaze up and down her form. "You could catch a cold standing out here in that."

All of a sudden, Gabi's eyes are burning.

"It's fine," she says, looking away and blinking rapidly. "I'm not going back inside until it's time to get ready."

Reiner frowns. He looks toward the horizon. Gabi follows his gaze and sees that the sky is growing ever so slightly lighter on the horizon. "Oh," she murmurs. She must have stayed in bed for longer than she thought. "Well... I'm staying outside to watch the sunrise, then."

"Whatever you say," Reiner says, a hint of exasperation bleeding through his voice. She shoots him a look, daring him to say what he's thinking. However, he doesn't see it. He's already turned around and walking toward one of the handful of tables scattered across the courtyard.

Gabi hesitates for a second before following him.

Reiner sits down, and she claims a seat on the bench across from him. He eyes her warily for a moment before shrugging his jacket off and handing it over to her. "Here," he says.

Gabi frowns. "But aren't you worried that you'll catch a cold?"

"I won't," he says, simple and matter-of-fact.

"But you think that I will?"

Reiner sighs. "Gabi, just take the damn jacket."

She does. It makes her feel warmer the instant she pulls it on, although a good portion of that warmth is emanating from inside her chest. It is accompanied by a deep, aching pain, but she clings to it nonetheless.

This Reiner is different from hers. He is confusing and infuriating, and she doesn't know what she could have done to make him this way, but she regrets it intimately. Yet he is not completely separate. The Reiner she loves may not be totally lost, even if he may never love and know her the way he did in her memories.

That feeling, the warmth of hope and biting pain of loss, is what pushes her to take a risk and whisper, "Do you remember what I said to you? Before Trost?"

The first glimmers of sunlight can be seen on the horizon now. Reiner had been watching it, but at Gabi's words, he turns back around to look over her.

It's hard to tell in the shadows, but for a moment, she could swear that his expression is hard and dark.

She blinks to find Reiner looking at her with hesitant curiosity and knows that it was just a trick of the light.

"You mean about not trying to get back to my hometown?" he asks.

"Yeah," Gabi says, voice hushed and fragile in the early morning air. "Did you think about it?"

Reiner smiles. It comes easier than she's used to. "I agreed with you, didn't I?" he asks.

He did. And then Trost happened. That means that he lied. He didn't listen to her at all, or if he did, it wasn't enough to stop him from committing one of the most heinous crimes of his lifetime. But saying that would mean letting him know that she knows he lied, so instead, she says, "You did. I just..." Have to bring it up again. I need to change your mind before you can do anything worse. I need to save you from yourself. "...I just wanted to remind you."

"You don't need to," Reiner says. "Believe me, I remember."

Hesitantly, Gabi smiles. "Good," she whispers.

Silence falls between them as they watch the sunrise. Gabi doesn't feel the comfortable warmth that she so craves, but for once, she also doesn't sense the tension and frustration that she's gotten so painfully used to with this Reiner. If she doesn't actually look at him, see his youth and ignorance, she can almost pretend that it's him. It's nice. It hurts, but it's nice.

A terrible voice scratches at the back of her mind, telling her that she can't trust this, that she knows better.

Gabi drowns it out by telling herself that she's taking a step in the right direction. Even if she hasn't gotten through to Reiner yet, she will. She's willing to bet her life on it.

Notes:

Gabi is not having a great time right now, but she is trying.

In other news! There will probably be a bit of a delay before I post the next chapter, since I need to finish my fic for Eruri Matchmaking and update Unchanging Destinations first. It won't be as big of a delay as there was between the prologue and this chapter, but you may have to wait two or three weeks. But on the bright side, next chapter will be longer and (hopefully) more exciting than this one! That said, this chapter is important in its own way, I promise.

Chapter 4: maybe you'll have a chance

Summary:

It's hard to pretend that everything's okay when it isn't.

Notes:

Thank you to Giles, Sage, and Amethyst for betaing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Marco wakes up and feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. He thinks of Gabi, of everything she has told him, of the catastrophe that they are moving one step closer to with every passing day - if what she says is true.

His second thought of the day is that he must be thinking about it a lot if it's the first thing he thinks about upon waking up.

That doesn't alarm him as much as he almost expects it to.

Considering the circumstances, it would be more disturbing if he didn't think about it during every waking moment. Frankly, he's surprised that he hasn't started having nightmares yet. He knows that they're probably coming soon.

Finally, after he has spent well over a minute staring up at his ceiling, he thinks about the day ahead of him. He's exhausted just thinking about going out in front of everyone and pretending that everything's normal, but he knows that he can't avoid it. There isn't even any putting it off. He may have woken up before the morning wake-up call, but it can't be that far off. Marco has never been that much of an early riser.

He climbs out of bed and gets dressed at a decent pace. Not slow enough for it to feel like he's dragging his feet, but not fast enough to qualify as rushing. The wake-up call echoes down the halls while he is in the process of tugging his shirt on. Despite the stress wound tightly through his being, his lips quirk up slightly at having been proven right.

"God," Jean groans from his bed. "Does that have to be so loud?"

Marco's smile grows a little wider. "It is a wake-up call," he replies.

Once his shirt is on, he glances over his shoulder to see that Jean has rolled onto his stomach and pulled his pillow over his head. The sight makes his grin stretch a little wider. So does the sight of Armin sitting up and blinking blearily, hair sticking out at what seems like a thousand different angles.

"Good morning to you both," he cheerfully says, turning around and plastering a bright grin across his face. It isn't entirely real, it can't be with the weight still lurking in the back of his mind, but he has to try. He has to put on a good act for his friends. The thought is daunting, but when he thinks about how Gabi has been holding herself together so well under far more stressful conditions, it suddenly feels like the least he can do.

Armin flops back into his bed with a groan.

"Fuck off," Jean mutters from under his pillow.

"Would you like me to wait for you?" Marco asks.

"No thanks," Armin says, voice tired and weary. "We'll catch up with you later."

Jean pulls his pillow off his head to glare at Marco through narrowed eyes. "Go frolic with the other morning birds," he grumbles.

"Alright," Marco warmly says. "But you guys don't wanna dawdle. I heard that Captain Levi himself will drag you out of bed if you take too long to get up."

"We'll catch up," Armin assures him. At the same time, Jean lets out a pained, wordless groan.

Marco offers the pair one less fond look before stepping outside. He's gotten enough of a head start that the stone hallway is still abandoned. As he walks, he passes wide windows that allow pale morning air to stream into the hallway. It is somewhat warm on his face, but not very. He wonders if it will grow warmer as the day progresses, or if today is destined to be a little dreary.

It is followed by a pang of guilt. With all that is happening, it feels wasteful to spend even a moment thinking of something as irrelevant as the weather.

The thought is struck down almost as soon as it manifests. Although the situation might be dire, he cannot spend every moment thinking about it. Doing so would probably make him lose his mind. Maybe that's how Gabi's managed to keep her head above water despite the circumstances. She doesn't let herself forget her goals, but she also doesn't obsess over them to the point of blocking out everything else.

That sounds like her. True, he does not know her very well, but from what he's seen, it seems to line up with her behavior. If she were constantly obsessing over the future, she wouldn't have been able to form close relationships with any of her comrades. She may not have been around for very long, but he cannot doubt that she has strong bonds with some of her friends.

Although… there's a chance that he's looking at it the wrong way. Maybe she got close to the people she did precisely because she's always thinking about the future. But… that would affect the way she acts, wouldn't it? It's true that she's a little odd sometimes, but he can only imagine that it would be far more significant if she was never actually looking at the present. Marco knows that he'd probably be all jumpy and nervous if he was always thinking of the potential consequences of every little move that he makes.

Kind of like he is now.

Marco stops just outside the dining hall. He leans against the wall, closes his eyes, and breathes deeply.

The most important thing he can do now is clear his mind. He's never been a very good liar, let alone had to keep a secret of this magnitude. If he walks in as he is now, everyone will be able to see that something's wrong. Maybe they won't immediately grasp that he's hiding something, but he'll certainly seem suspicious, and suspicion isn't something he can afford right now. He needs to act normally. Or at least, as close to normal as anyone can get with what they've all just lived to.

Pretend that it never happened, he thinks. Forget about everything Gabi said. Forget about Bertolt and Reiner. Act like you survived Trost out of talent and luck.

It isn't the first time he's had to tell himself something like that. 'Act like everything's normal' had become a bit of a mantra in the days following the battle of Trost. At first, he had hoped that it would get easier in time. Now he knows that the pressure will continue to haunt him until he has a chance to plot a way forward. That's assuming that a plan doesn't make it even harder to seem inconspicuous.

The concept doesn't worry him as much as it should. After all, it's getting harder anyway . Not because it's gotten any harder to deal with what he's learned, but because the circumstances surrounding him are changing. Everyone was acting weird in the immediate aftermath of Trost. Now, the immediate shock is wearing off and everyone else is starting to settle into a sort of rhythm, but he still feels like he's walking on razor wire.

Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll just think that I can't handle grief, Marco thinks. It brings a morbid little smile to his lips. Being labeled as someone who can't handle loss wouldn't be a good thing for him. People will start questioning his choice to join the Survey Corps. He'll get looks of pity and doubt, possibly get a bad assignment when the expedition rolls around. It isn't the worst possible outcome though. The Survey Corps is too desperate for people to turn a willing soldier away just because he's emotionally vulnerable. He doesn't like the thought of the looks he'll get, but he can put up with it. It could be worse.

He could be dead. Without Gabi, he would be. And if she's right and he fucks this up for her, a whole lot of people will be.

A shaky breath leaves his lips. He deals with it by holding his breath, straightening his back, and counting down from ten in his head.

He makes it all the way to six before a voice cries out, "Hey, Marco!"

His heart drops into his stomach, because he knows that voice. It belongs to one of the very last people that he wants to speak to right now, someone who he doesn't know if he can act normal around. But he has to try, so he opens his eyes and plasters a smile on his face.

"Good morning, Eren," he says.

Eren stops a few feet away from him. He's smiling brightly, but that smile falters after a few seconds, his brow furrowing as it turns into a frown. "Is everything okay?"

Marco's smile almost falters. He manages to keep it in place through sheer force of will. "Absolutely," he lies. "Why do you ask?"

"You look a little... stressed."

"Well, I think we're all still pretty stressed. Is that why you're up? I didn't expect you do be one of the first ones down." He feels like the words should come out shaking and uneasy, but with a strong effort, they come out smooth and steady. That is, theoretically, a good thing. He knows that he should see it as something good. Instead, it makes him want to squirm, like he is listening to someone else use his voice. It's unnerving, but not as unnerving as the way he can't help but look at Eren, trying to find a glimmer of a monster in the face of the spirited boy before him.

He finds nothing. It's cold comfort when he knows, deep in his heart, that he has seen glimmers of that terrible potential before. That he will likely see more of it if he just waits and looks for long enough. He knows that he may be misjudging his friend on the words of a madwoman, but at the same time... he isn't. He can't be. With someone with Eren's personality and power, the risk of him becoming something terrible is always present, time travel be damned.

But he finds nothing for now. He is not alone in this - as uncomfortable as Marco feels, it looks like Eren doesn't catch any of it. His comrade rolls his shoulders and lets out a gusty sigh, the earlier concern leaving his face and voice. "Yeah, getting up this early sucks," he says. "But Reiner didn't come to bed last night, so I was kind of curious."

Marco nods. "Right. You're sharing a room with Bertolt and Reiner, right?"

If he were someone else, he might have laughed at the coincidence. As himself, it makes him feel a little sick. All three of humanity's biggest threats sharing one room. How do Bertolt and Reiner feel being so close to another shifter, but keeping their natures a secret from him?

What would Eren do?

Eren nods back. "Yeah. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't put with Armin, but..." A shit-eating grin crosses his face. "I'd much rather keep watching Bertolt contort himself in his sleep than get stuck with Jean."

"Jean's not that bad!" Marco exclaims. It's the most genuine he's felt since this conversation started. "Besides..." he drops his voice as he adds, "I think he's changed a lot from what he's been through."

Eren falters. The sorrowful resignation that flickers across his face suggests that he already knows that and just isn't ready to face it quite yet. That thought is only cemented when he shrugs and says, "Whatever. I'm starving - why don't we go get something to eat?"

Marco's stomach churns. Getting breakfast with Eren is one of the single most unappealing prospects he can think of right now, but the dining hall is right there and Eren is looking at the bright, hopeful look of someone wanting to spend time with someone they consider a friend. For the past three years, Marco has considered Eren a friend too. But how can he treat him like a friend when he now knows that he may go on to destroy the world?

It isn't fair to punish Eren for something that he hasn't done yet. Something that he won't do if everything works out.

But he could do it. He hasn't, probably won't, but he might. How is Marco supposed to forget that?

He can't, but right now, he needs to pretend. If Marco wants to be inconspicuous, then he has no option but to go along with him. So he keeps his smile in place, nods his head, and says, "Lead the way."

He follows Eren through the large wooden doors and into the dining hall. A few workers are setting trays of food out and some unfamiliar scouts are scattered across the tables, but the sole familiar face is-

Oh, Maria. Marco's stomach twists, and although he tries, he isn't able to keep his grin from falling.

"Hey, Reiner!" Eren calls, waving their comrade over. He startles, looking for all the world like he was lost in his own little world, but promptly turns around and walks toward them. As he gets closer, Marco notices that there are dark bags under his eyes. He wonders if there's any weight to what Gabi said about him, if maybe the weight of what he's done has been keeping him up at night, or if it's the pressure of all the lies he's told. Or maybe he isn't actually bothered by any of that stuff at all and he's been staying up because of something else entirely.

The thought makes Marco's stomach twist uneasily. He wants to believe Gabi in this instance and think that Reiner feels remorse for what he's done, or at least will grow into someone who does. That is in line with the Reiner he knows. However, the Reiner he knows was proven to be a lie the moment he learned his identity. It would be ignorant of him to cling to a certain image of him just because he wants it to be true. Even if it is, it doesn't undo any of the things he's done or the damage he's caused. No matter how he changes going forward, there is no changing the past. Not for him, anyway.

Reiner is a mass murderer. He would have killed him if he knew what he had heard. He is also someone who he considered a friend until very recently; someone who might still be a friend, depending on how things play out. Marco does not know how to reconcile those things. Someday he'll have to, and someday he will. But for now, he takes the path of least resistance, which also happens to be the easiest and most convenient path for his situation. He doesn't even try to fit the two pieces of Reiner. Instead, he continues with his earlier plan and prepares to act like everything is normal, to try to look at Reiner the way he did before Trost.

Or the way Reiner wanted him to look at him. Where he had once been certain that he knew Reiner, it now feels like he is looking at a stranger. How much of his personality was an act? Why did he do the horrible things he did? How much more would be do if given the chance and motivation? What were his motivations, his limits? What will set him off, what could wind him down? Eren is a familiar danger, but Marco doesn't know Reiner at all.

Except according to Gabi, Reiner regretted his actions in the end. He tried to help save the world. Eren tried to end it. Which one of them is more dangerous, then?

Does any of that matter? Right now, they are both loaded guns. Having breakfast with them like he would on any other day is an impossible task. Even before they start speaking, he knows that it's impossible. But he has to try, because if he tries hard enough, he knows that he can at least get close enough to avoid suspicion. He has to.

Luckily, he's never been one of the bolder personalities among the 104th, especially when compared to the likes of Eren and Reiner. That means that as long as he contributes enough to seem engaged, he can probably slip into the background and let them take the reigns.

When Reiner is only a few steps away, Eren decides that he doesn't want to wait for him to reach them after all. He closes the distance between them and steps right in front of him, a heavy frown on his face. "You look tired. Were you up all night?"

Reiner shrugs. "What can I say? I wasn't tired."

"You look tired," Eren presses.

"Ah, well..." Reiner rubs the back of his head uneasily, then drops his hand back down to his side. "I guess it would have been more accurate to say that I couldn't sleep."

Marco can't see Eren's face from this angle, but he catches the way his shoulders slump and hears his long exhale of breath. "Yeah, I get that," he says. "You still should have tried to get some sleep."

"I was feeling restless and didn't want to keep you guys up."

"Please." Eren snorts. "I stay up late all the time anyway, and Bertolt could sleep through a hurricane. You've just making excuses to-" He pauses then, taking a step back from Reiner and looking him up and down. "Hey, Reiner. Where's your jacket?"

"Reiner blinks."My jacket?"

"Yeah. You're in uniform, but your jacket's missing. Why?"

"Oh. I guess Gabi must still have it."

He says the word so casually, completely oblivious to the reaction that it sets off in the other people in the hall. Eren looks over at Marco, surprise, curiosity, and devious delight on his face.

And Marco?

Marco feels his heart skip a beat.

There was only so much that Gabi could tell him in a rushed, emotional conversation during the battle for Trost. Even with the wealth of information that she managed to give him, he still finds himself facing massive gaps. Yet one thing made itself massively clear, if not through her words alone, then in the expressions on her face and the pain in her eyes. Gabi is massively emotionally compromised when it comes to Reiner. He does not yet know how deep it goes, how much of a threat it is, or how high of alert he should be on, but it's enough for him to know that he doesn't like the thought of her being alone with him.

In a situation full of uncertainties, Reiner's status as a threat is established. Whether or not she is actually from the future, the fact that Gabi knows he is the Armored Titan means that he would consider her a threat. Every second she is alone with him is a second where she places herself in unnecessary danger.

And apparently, they were hanging out while everyone else was asleep.

Marco doesn't know what his face might look like in that instant, but it makes Eren chuckle. He takes that as his cue to force himself into a more neutral expression as Eren turns back around to face Reiner.

"So you and Gabi were hanging out, alone, and night, and now she just happens to have your jacket?" Eren teases.

"Woah, woah, woah," Reiner says, taking a step back and holding his hands up. "It wasn't anything like that."

Marco thinks back to Gabi's admission of being Reiner's cousin and doesn't know if he should find the scene playing out before him funny or nauseating. Either way, it's a half-decent distraction from everything else.

"Are ya sure?" Eren asks. "I know she doesn't seem like she likes you, but that could just be a smokescreen to hide her real feelings."

"I could say the same thing about you and Jean," Reiner shoots back.

Eren lets out an indignant squawk. At the same time, Reiner looks over at Marco and asks, "A little help here?"

Their conversation is a decent distraction, but not enough. He still can't bring himself to force a smile. So he trains his expression into one of concern instead and says in a gentle, worried tone, "I mean... Eren shouldn't be spreading gossip, but it isn't healthy for you to be staying up all night either."

"But that's not-"

"I have far better taste than Horseface!" Eren cries.

Reiner's attention snaps away from Marco immediately. He shoots Eren a wide, shit-eating grin and says, "You say that, but maybe you just have a thing for Jacka-"

Eren bends over and tackles Reiner with a howl. Reiner slides a few inches back, but manages to stand his guard, laughing as he holds onto the writhing Eren.

Marco watches, and in that instant, he can barely see what is beyond what could be. Eren would want to tear Reiner apart for real if he knew the truth. He would be called a hero for doing so, the defender of humanity. But that's not how the story unfolds, is it? Not according to Gabi. She spun a tale where the roles switched in the end, the person who was always supposed to be the villain helping to put down the one who was meant to be a hero like he is some sort of sick dog.

He wonders if terms like 'hero' and 'villain' can even apply when they both would have had so much blood on their hands. He wonders if there would have been any difference between them at all if not for Eren's last, horrible act.

Then he wonders if Gabi's Reiner mourned for Eren. If he blamed himself at all for what he became.

It's a dark, heavy train of thought that won't actually get him anywhere. Rather than dwell on it, he turns his gaze away from the tussling duo, scanning the dining hall for any new signs of life. It shouldn't take long for the others to start filing in. Yet when he catches a glimpse of movement, it doesn't come from the doors behind him, but the door leading outside.

There is weariness on Gabi's face as she slips into the dining hall. Marco probably would have noticed it if he wasn't already looking for it, but he was, and it's there. She is barefoot and clad in her pajamas, save for the conspicuous Survey Corps jacket slung over her shoulders. The sound of Eren and Reiner's scuffle draws her attention before long. Her expression closes off somewhat, but she is unable to completely hide the pain there. Marco has no doubt that she would be able to if she knew that someone was looking, but he finds that he doesn't want to force that extra strain on her. As such, he doesn't call out as he slips away from Eren and Reiner.

Gabi doesn't notice him approaching at first. However, one particularly heavy footfall makes her flinch and turn around. To her credit, the surprise on her face dissipates fairly quickly, leaving behind something heavy and solemn. Her smile is not enough to hide it completely.

"Marco," she greets. "You're up early."

Marco shrugs. "You missed the wake-up call. Everyone else should be down in a bit."

"Shit," Gabi mutters. "I mean, thanks. I should probably go get dressed then."

"Probably," Marco agrees, only to immediately regret it. Right now, he and Gabi are able to speak in something close to privacy. There's no telling when they'll get that opportunity again. He needs to take advantage of that. "Actually, wait. We should-"

"We need to talk." Gabi pauses, glancing around the hall. Eren and Reiner have stopped wrestling and seem to be deep in some sort of animated conversation. No one else seems to be paying any attention to them. Even so, she lowers her voice to a hoarse whisper. "Tomorrow morning, three hours before sunrise. Meet me in the stables."

Marco nods. Odds are, meeting at such a time will mean getting little to no sleep, but that's one of the lowest priorities here.

Gabi nods in return. She takes a step forward, but before she can dart off, Marco blurts out, "You were with Reiner?"

"Yeah?" Gabi says, a hint of bemusement on her face as she looks back at him. "He couldn't sleep either. What about it?"

So, so much. There's no time to get into it though, and as he looks at Gabi's oblivious face, he gets the sense that she wouldn't listen even if there was.

After a moment of consideration, Marco condenses everything he's thinking and feeling into the simplest possible message and says, "You should be careful around him."

"Oh." Gabi smiles. It's a little softer than her usual grins, possibly an attempt at being reassuring, but still bright and bold. "I know this is probably scary for you, but don't worry about me. I know Reiner. I can handle him."

That's wrong. Marco can't put his finger on exactly what, doesn't know enough to even begin to envision the big picture, but something about that feels innately wrong. A feeling alone won't be enough though, not for someone like Gabi, so he just nods and smiles uneasily. "If you're sure."

"I am," Gabi says. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Marco nods, and Gabi hurries off through the doors leading down the hall to the sleeping quarters.

He turns around to find Eren and Reiner staring at him. The feeling of their eyes burning into him makes him want to turn around and run away. Instead, he walks back over to them. Somehow, he even manages a smile this time.

"You didn't get my jacket back?" Reiner asks.

"Ah, sorry, I forgot," Marco says.

Eren laughs. "I don't think you're ever getting that thing back."

Reiner furrows his brow, frowning. "She hates me so much that she's keeping my jacket?"

"I mean, it's what I would do," Eren says.

Reiner shoots him an incredulous look. At the same time, Marco points out, "You can probably get a new one easily enough. It looks like they have a lot of them."

"True enough," Reiner says with a sigh. He pauses for a heartbeat before clapping his hands on Eren and Marco's shoulders and declaring, "Come on, let's get something to eat before Sasha shows up and takes it all for herself."

Despite everything, breakfast goes relatively quickly, especially once the rest of his classmates start to file in.

It still isn't the same as before - not anywhere close. Deep down, he knows that it will never be again.

It's incredible how you can be sitting in a crowded room and still feel completely alone. Gabi is aware of the reams of people sitting around, behind, and in front of her. Some of them are so close that she can hear their breathing and feel the heat radiating off of them if she focuses enough. She can hear the Commander speak, his tones smooth and melodic. Given that he's going over the plan for the upcoming expedition, she should be focusing on what he's saying. It should be the most important thing in her world right now, she should be blocking out everything else to zero in on it with a laser focus. There are too many holes in what she knows about how the 57th expedition will play out. If she wishes to make a truly solid plan, then she needs to learn as much as she can.

Yet her gaze keeps slipping away from Erwin Smith. For in the crowded room where she feels so very alone, someone else lingers by the doorway. Whenever she looks over him, his expression is bored and apathetic, eyes locked onto Erwin. It would seem that he never so much as glances her way. Yet whenever she looks back at the Commander, she feels the hairs on the back of her neck begin to tingle, the way that they always do when he's watching her.

That doesn't mean that Levi's actually paying her any attention. Gabi is painfully aware of the possibility that she might be imagining it because she does want him to notice her so badly. Even so, she can't help but hope. And that hope keeps her looking even when she shouldn't.

Fortunately, the Commander doesn't seem to have noticed how unfocused she is. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for everyone.

"Hey," Sasha hisses, elbowing her in the side and leaning over to whisper in her ear. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Gabi quickly fibs. Too quickly. Or maybe it's just that her body isn't as fast as her mouth sometimes. She looks away from Levi a second after she speaks and can do nothing but watch in despair as Sasha follows her gaze back over to the watching Captain.

"Uh-huh," Sasha says. She gives Gabi a piercing look, then shakes her head and sighs as loudly as she can without drawing everyone's attention their way. "Don't know why you're looking at that lil' guy when you could be watching Commander Handsome over there."

The implication that she was looking at Levi combined with "Commander Handsome" are too much to take in a single blow. When she tries to speak, a garbled choking noise leaves her mouth, causing her to snap it shut and shake her head violently.

"No," she says once she's capable of speech again. "Sasha, no."

"Why not?" Sasha asks, a devious grin spreading across her face. "It's nothing that other people aren't saying. I mean." She jerks her head at Erwin. "Look at him."

"You shouldn't talk about your commanding officer that way," Gabi argues.

But it's more than that. When she first saw the Commander, it had felt unreal. She was looking at Commander Erwin Smith, one of the best strategic minds Paradis had ever produced, if not the best. The man who had recruited Levi to the Survey Corps and lead the people she looked up to into their first battles. A man who had been able to come up with a strategy that beat Zeke. Even if he hadn't survived the battle, that was no small feat. It was safe to say that she had been somewhat starstruck.

Then she thought of how Levi looked whenever he told her about him. The pain on his face, the thinly veiled heartache in his voice. It wasn't quite as bad as it had been when he told her about Isabel and Farlan, but she suspected that that was only because he had spoken about him more, because he wasn't the only one left who remembered him.

The moment she remembered that, it became impossible to look at Erwin quite the same way. Sure, Gabi recognizes the brilliant blue of his eyes, the regal arch of his eyebrows, the proud structure of his face, but it's impossible to be attracted to him. She still looks at him and knows that she's looking at a legend, but she's also acutely aware that she's looking at someone very dear to a person she cares about.

Another person for her to save.

Of course, Sasha has no such issues, nor is she shamed by Gabi's words. She shrugs, grins a little wider, and points out, "He doesn't need to know."

"He will if you two don't quiet down," Jean snaps, turning around to glare at them.

Gabi feels her eyes widen as she furiously whips her head from side to side. Erwin is still giving his presentation, cool and unflappable as ever, but some of the people closest to her and Sasha have turned to stare at them.

Her gaze flicks to the doorway once again. This time, she catches Levi as he looks away.

So you are watching, she thinks, chest growing a little tighter.

Meanwhile, Sasha whispers, "Sorry! We'll be quiet! Quiet as a c-"

Connie reaches over from Sasha's other side to slap a hand over her mouth. She makes a few sounds of protest, but ultimately slumps down and accepts her fate.

Jean eyes her for a moment later before looking Gabi in the eyes. "You'll wanna pay attention if you don't want to end up titan food."

She should just agree, back down, and let that be that. People are already looking - she doesn't want to start arguing with Jean and officially become a disruption. But his words spark of flame in her chest. Her mind flashes back to the raid on Liberio, the battle of Paradis, the Rumbling itself - all of the times she's looked death in the face and come out alive. Then she pictures herself meeting her end in the jaws of some random titan and can't help but scowl.

"I survived Trost," she points out, because that's the only argument she can make to him.

It is impossible for Jean to frown any deeper, but his eyes darken. "That doesn't guarantee anything. It's gotta be a whole other world out there. If you drop your guard just because you survived Trost, then you'll probably..." His adam's apple bobs up and down as he tries and fails to finish his thought.

He doesn't need to. That flame in her chest sputters and flickers out, leaving shame in its wake. Gabi thinks of the confidence she had felt the morning of the attack on Trost, her utter certainty that she had changed the future. She remembers how it had all but crippled her during the battle itself, how Armin and Connie had needed to pull her together before she could fall apart completely. And if still wasn't enough to stop her from breaking down crying in Marco's arms later that day. She can't afford to go into the 57th expedition with the same overconfidence as she did Trost. If she does, then even if she manages to avoid becoming a smear on the bottom of Annie's foot, the odds of her changing the outcome of the expedition drop drastically.

"You're right," she whispers. "Sorry, Jean, I'll pay more attention."

Jean nods, and for a second, she sees the person he will be years from now.

Then he turns around and is lost to her again.

Compared to everything else she's been through, it's such a small hurt that it should barely even register. But it still hurts. Gabi feels her throat threaten to constrict and swallows just to stop that from happening. She takes a deep breath in through her nose, holds it for her second, and lets it out through her mouth. Once her chest doesn't ache quite as much, she looks up at the Commander and forces herself to listen.

It doesn't get easier to listen. She still feels the prickle that tells her that Levi's watching her. The feeling makes her want to run over to him, to ask what he thinks, what she's doing well, what he thinks she could do better. If she can do better, then she can entrench herself in his memories, make herself into someone that he can't look away from. But if she messes up during the expedition, he'll be looking at her for all the wrong reasons.

No. That's not what she should focus on. It's not what they would focus on. If she screws up on the 57th expedition, there's no telling how many people will die. Losing her chance to reclaim her relationship with Levi will be the least of her problems if that happens. Levi himself has to be a lower priority than the expedition, even if her selfish heart is telling her otherwise.

She still can't stop herself from looking toward Levi the second the Commander finishes his presentation. He's still leaning against the doorway, staring heavily at Erwin. People start draining out of the room, but he doesn't so much as glance at any of them.

Sasha tugs at Gabi's should as she stands up. "Aren't you coming?"

Gabi stands up, gaze still locked onto Levi, and hesitates. "I'll catch up in a bit," she says.

Sasha looked at Levi, then at Gabi, and nods seriously. "I see."

Beside her, Connie has a wide, obnoxious grin on his face. "Aaaaah," he says. "Gonna shoot your shot, huh?"

Gabi feels her eyes widen as she shoots a panicked glance at Levi. When he doesn't show any sign of having heard, she turns to glare at Sasha and Connie. "You two need to stop talking like that," she says.

"Right, right," Connie says, nodding. "It's Eren that you have a crush on, right?"

"What!?" Gabi squawks.

"I mean, you get along well, and you hang out all the time, so-"

"I do not have a crush on Eren!" Gabi exclaims. It's far louder than she intended - several people stop to look at her, including Mikasa, who is lingering at the very edge of the doorway. Gabi can only watch in mortification as she eyes her unreadably for a long moment before turning around and stalking out. The only silver lining about the situation is that aside from Jean, Levi, the Commander, and the troublesome twosome themselves, all of the other important people have already left the room.

"Yeeeeeah," Connie says, staring at where Mikasa walked away. "Normally I'd say that I don't believe you, but it's probably a good idea for you to not have a crush on Eren."

"There are plenty of other options!" Sasha cheerfully says. "I mean, Jean's kinda weird and gross-"

"You could at least have this conversation in private," Jean grumbles before walking out of the room.

"-but Marco's sweet, Armin's smart, and Connie's there too!"

"Connie's there too?" Connie squawks.

Having finished collecting his things, Commander Erwin shoots them an amused grin as he steps out of the room. Gabi kind of wants to die at that moment.

"Yeah!" Sasha exclaims. "And I know you don't like him very much, but if you gave him a chance, I'm sure Reiner could be-"

"You two need to stop talking," Gabi interrupts. There are so many reasons she says that. For one thing, she refuses to let Sasha finish that sentence. Secondly, she can't exactly tell her that she wouldn't ever be able to look at any member of the alliance romantically. At least, no one except for the boy who still haunts her heart, leaving her unable to look at anyone romantically even if time travel wasn't involved.

Third, Levi is walking away.

Gabi takes off after the Captain without a second word to her friends. Levi had been a force to be reckoned with during the Rumbling. Even after that, he was surprisingly able and dexterous for a man in a wheelchair. Now, uninjured and in peak physical condition, he's faster than she can remember him ever having ever been before. He's only moving at a walk, yet Gabi finds herself running to keep up. When he reaches the end of the hallway and pushed open a door to step out into the courtyard, she fears that she might lose him. Before that can happen, she shouts, "Captain, wait up!"

Levi pauses, one hand pushing the door open. He only turns his head partially in Gabi's direction as he asks, "Did you need something?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Gabi says, letting herself slow down into a walk.

Levi finally faces her fully, but it is to shoot her a flat, unimpressed look. "About?"

Gabi falters. She has a reason to speak to Levi, of course, but it isn't one that she can offer to him. Her Levi would scoff and roll his eyes, but would ultimately accept 'I want to talk to you because I miss you' as an acceptable reason. This one, a near-total stranger who she has only met once before, when he caught her during her freefall from Wall Rose? He will think she's insane. Maybe she can pretend that she's just star-struck, but she knows better than to expect that to get him to stick around and talk to her.

Fuck. She really should have seen this coming.

After a long, uncomfortable pause, she managed to get out, "I joined the Survey Corps."

Levi raises an eyebrow. "And? Do you want me to pat your ass for doing what you said you would?"

"No!" Gabi exclaims. "I just..." Wanted to make sure that you haven't forgotten me.

Levi sighs heavily. He closes the door and takes a step closer to Gabi, which she would take as a victory if not for the heavy, dark expression on his face. "Now that you're in the Survey Corps, it doesn't matter how you got here. Climbing the wall doesn't make you special, so you need to get that shit out of your head right away."

Gabi feels her heart sink and her mind short-circuit in the same instant. "That's not- I didn't think-"

"You shouldn't, because it won't do a thing to keep you alive once you're beyond the walls. Make one wrong step, one wrong choice, and you're just as likely to end up titan food as everyone who went through three years of training."

"I know that," Gabi says. "I didn't think that in the first place. I mean. I made them put me in with the rest of the cadets for a reason."

That's a blatant lie. Asking to be placed with the 104th had nothing to do with her not feeling like she was prepared to face titans. She had felt like she was absolutely ready to face titans right away. She still kind of does. It was the only defense she had though, so she scrambled to say it, regardless of how true it may or may not be. It comes out confident too, a strong, solid lie. Yet as she looks at Levi, she gets the feeling that he doesn't believe her."

"You really think a couple months of extra training will make a difference?" he asks.

The wind has already left Gabi's sails. All this does is show her that it's possible to sink lower yet.

Levi is staring her with a heavy, unreadable look. Gabi's fighting the urge not to start squirming beneath it when he sighs and shakes his head. "You did a good job surviving Trost," he says. "Keep that up and maybe you'll have a chance."

With that, he turns around and walks out into the courtyard.

Gabi stays where she is.

She has no idea how to feel.