He came back later that night.

She was asleep, woke up to find him standing in front of her; they argued for a while. Eventually, exhausted, she gave up, told him to get lost. She didn't have strength for this now.

"Gods, you're all wet," he said when he crouched beside her and touched her hair, then her shoulder, reminding her she was chilled to the bone.

He scooped her up off the ground and a moment later the air was different, dry and pleasantly warm, candlelit, the silken bedsheets soft and smooth around her; and he must have used his powers because her hair was suddenly all dry.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, looking at him standing at the feet of the four-poster bed.

Judging by his expression, he was going to say something silly. She wasn't in the mood. Not that she could expect him to get it.

But then, it struck her. He seemed uneasy. The silence, empty and meaningless so far, was now suddenly laced with - she almost wanted him near.

He was - waiting for her move, as if. It wasn't like him, it stirred her, somehow. Maybe he was just as lonely as she was. Maybe, behind this stern, godly facade - was he? Was this why she was here? At the moment, she both longed to know it and didn't care. But the bedsheets smelled like him, and she needed to-

"Come here," she invited him in. Did he have to be so - shy, almost - so overwhelming, so gentle when he sat beside her, his hand on hers. "What is it that you really want, Ares?"

"I wanna take care of you."

She blinked hastily, a little knocked back. This wasn't the answer she expected. It wasn't the answer she wanted, either.

She needed him to be himself, the enemy, the trickster. Someone it didn't hurt to leave behind. Not someone who said all she didn't even know she needed to hear, not someone who held her to his chest and wiped her tears off.

Her chest was heavy, suddenly. She couldn't do it now. Not now, not when all she could think of was the dark-haired, pale-faced girl that had broken her heart years ago, who was now back to haunt her, the old wound fresh again - now, when her soul was dead, heart ripped out of her chest the moment she lost Gabrielle on that boat at the coast of Helicon.

Maybe it was only just right, to go on that mission, end her life righting the wrongs she'd done those years ago. Forty thousand souls, sentenced to eternal torment because of her. She'd thought she had a big body count, but this didn't even triple it, it multiplied it by-

It would've been a tough decision to make, had Gabrielle been here with her, but now - now, gods, he was all over her, strong and warm, and she welcomed it; it turned her mind off, when he took her the way he did, silent and stubborn.

Barely conscious, she was drifting off to sleep in his arms when, feeling a sudden pull, she looked towards the window. The half-moon, blurry-edged, veiled with a thin layer of clouds. It made her remember their conversation from the other day, one of those moments when he was there, distracting her, whether he did it on purpose or not - but it worked, took her mind off things; she was secretly very grateful for it.

"You know, the moon doesn't look half as cool from up close," he said the other night, making her stir on her bedroll and look towards where he was sitting on a broken tree trunk nearby.

"Can you... go there?"

"I can, but you wouldn't survive it."

"Why?"

"You'd suffocate - there's no air out there."

"How come? It's not that far, is it?"

"It actually is."

"What does it look like?"

"Just a boring grey desert," he shrugged. "Wish I could show you, though," he smiled; and she wished he would have - taken her there, so she could stop breathing, stop feeling.

"Xena, you're not going anywhere," his voice snapped her out of the memory.

She sighed. "Ares, don't start..."

"You're with child."

Her lashes fluttered, all air leaving her lungs. "What did you say?" she said, breathless.

"What you heard."

"You - you got me pregnant?" Her hand went to her stomach instinctively.

"I'm sorry, Xena, I can't let you do this," he said, exactly what Gabrielle said to her years ago in Chin, stabbing her in the back. What a cunning son of a bitch, how dare he - and she was a fool enough to let him close, to think he changed, that he was done playing her-

She got out of his embrace, climbed out of bed, and just stood there, nude and startled.

"You didn't give me a choice, Xena..."

"You son of a bitch..." She tightened her fists, a wave of heat flooding her face. Of course, what was she thinking; that now that he softened a little, he would suddenly start respecting her choices and principles? Not that she wasn't used to this, but now - gods, it never infuriated her the way it now did. "And you think this - your sick games - is gonna stop me - from doing the right thing..." she trailed off, the realization of what he did settling in, painfully real.

"It will. You won't kill your own child, even for the sake of doing the right thing," he said, his cocky tone making her want to pierce his heart, skin him alive, make him bleed to death for how shamelessly he stabbed her right in the heart.

"You're damn right I won't," she sneered. "Because it's not a child. Anything spawned by you doesn't deserve to walk the earth."

She could hear it, in the sudden silence, his breathing; short, shallow breaths, his expression darkening, mouth twisting. For a moment, she thought he would hurl a fireball at her, burn her alive; for a moment, she wanted him to.

He took a step towards her. "You wouldn't do it," he said quietly, half pleading, half challenging her to contradict him. "You'll love this child, Xena," he said, his tone strange, tense and soft at the same time. "Even if you don't love me, even if you hate me for giving it to you - you know you will."

She gasped for air, her throat narrowing, eyes welling up; son of a bitch...

Then, his voice reached her from very close, his scent in her nostrils, his arms going around her. "And I'll love it, too," he whispered, the warmth of his breath reaching her face. "If you let me..." he uttered, his voice soft as he cradled her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that she couldn't hold back anymore.

"No..." she said, her breath shaky.

"You gave up on your son once, you really wanna do it again?"

"A son... it's a boy?" she whispered before she could stop herself, her vision blurring, the images of Solan flooding her mind, her breath getting heavier.

"A boy or a girl, we'll love it all the same."

"Why are you doing this to me?" she sniffled, the pain in her chest contrasting with how soothing it felt when he was holding her, his voice warm and soft in her ear.

"Because I'd rather have you hate me for this, than feel what I felt for those twenty five years without you."

"Ares..."

"And I'm not apologizing for this," he said, and she wanted to tell him how selfish he was, how wrong, and couldn't; because she herself was guilty of selfish and wrong right now, giving in to his touch, his warmth, the smoothness of his voice, his words painting the images that made her chest tighten with such longing that she couldn't breathe. "You know what loss feels like, Xena. You think because I'm a god, I don't," he said, dark eyes boring into hers. "I didn't. Not until I put you in that ice coffin..." he trailed off, casting his eyes down as his lashes fluttered, his chest rising in a deep breath.

She felt that, if he wasn't holding her, she would've sunk down to the ground.

"You wanna know why I let you drink the vial? Because when I realized - you lost everything - because I - I just let it happen-"

"Stop..." she uttered weakly.

"I was an idiot; I should've protected you, not asking- "

"Don't..." she forced herself to protest, to stop him from driving her insane, and put a hand on his chest, and it was a mistake; to feel his heartbeat, to feel it was as shaky as hers.

"I was wrong, Xena... the way I handled you... I understood it too late... I was holding your lifeless body in my arms when I got it..."

"Ares, please..." she said helplessly, her body dissolving under his touch, her head, her chest about to burst from the pressure of his words.

"But I'm gonna do it right this time..." he whispered, cradling the back of her head. "I'm gonna love you... the way you need it... the way you deserve," he went on, his voice both calm and ardent, his forehead pressing into hers, his lips finding hers; gods, what the hell was she doing, what was he doing to her? She couldn't stop; kissing him back, clinging to him so hungrily, desperately; and she had to be mad, for it to feel so right, so divine, but gods - she would die if it stopped now, how lovingly his mouth roamed her skin, how firm and tender his hold was, every brush of his tongue bringing her closer to an abyss she longed to just drown in and never come back.

She jolted awake, squinting against the sun; alone, sweat pouring down her chest, scenes from last night flashing before her eyes, words rumbling in her ears.

Out of all the times he'd brought pain into her life, this one hurt the most. Because now, for the first time in her life, he made her feel - he made her long for him the way she never had for anyone. The one thing she couldn't tell him.

She packed the saddle bags, mounted Argo and, after a short ride, the forest gave way to a large, sunlit meadow.

She jumped off the saddle.

"Ares, why are you doing this to me?" she yelled, tall grass flattening under her angry steps.

Not a second passed before she sensed him; both behind and all around her, his touch invisible and maddening on her, all over her; firm and hot around her waist, moving up her chest, up her neck; and his voice in her ears. "Do you know the story of-"

"I can't have this child."

"What child?" he asked, perplexed.

Then, her chest tightened, heart racing. "The story of the scorpio and the swan?" she asked, taking a glance around the meadow which suddenly stroke her as very familiar.

"Wait - how did you know I was gonna-"

"Gabrielle..." she whispered feverishly, her heart skipping a beat. "Gabrielle's alive..."

"Why wouldn't she be? She's with Eve at the Amazon camp. Xena, what's going on?"

She turned around and met his confused gaze.

"You okay?" he asked, concern softening his expression.

"Get Eve out of there," she said curtly.

His brows went up as he smirked. "Xena-"

"Get her out, now," she repeated, and watched his jaw muscles twitch, heard the loud exhale.

Her vision clouded as his words from last night echoed in her head.

"Hey..." He pulled her close with one hand, touching her cheek with the other. "You okay?"

And then, she just couldn't hold back; she reached up to hold his face, to kiss him softly on the lips; an innocent, affectionate kiss that made his lashes flutter, his gaze softening, filling her with warmth. "Thank you," she whispered as she pulled away. She could see he was still struggling with his pride, but his eyes were wide open, misty.

"Well, now that you're asking nicely-" he almost stammered, "lemme get back to you on that one."

"Ares..."

He only managed to blink before he hummed into her mouth as she pulled him close again; and this time, his arms tightening around her, they didn't let go for a longer while.

"Lemme think about it," he uttered when she broke the kiss, his eyes half-lidded, hazy.

"Ares..." she stopped him again when he was about to teleport.

"Yeah?"

"Don't be long," she said quietly.

He didn't answer, but there was something in his eyes, something that shouldn't be there just yet, the tenderness like the one he eyed her with last night, that made this silence hit deeper than any words would have.

But she managed; to hold the tears in until he vanished.

Then, slowly, she made her way to Argo. Although the horse greeted her with happy snorting, it had to be the first time when it didn't make her smile. But it was when the huge head and neck wrapped around her that she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I'm gonna miss you, girl," she said, her voice breaking as she let herself cry; freely, as she hadn't for a long time.

And hoped she would make it to compose herself before he came back.

Because she didn't want to lie to him.

And she would have to.

THE END